


Slow Burn

by AkuChibi



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Assisted Suicide, Death, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 63
Words: 181,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkuChibi/pseuds/AkuChibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rated M as of chapter 23. Eventual slash. Everyone thought the end would be quick - they'd blink and the world would be gone. But the end was anything but quick - it was a slow burn that ate and ate at humanity until there was nothing left except fear, loss, and hatred. Just ask Alec - all he wants is his damn knife back, but a fellow survivor is making that rather difficult. Two survivors, one shrouded in mystery, the other haunted by guilt. Together, can they find a strange sort of happiness in the wreckage of the end of the world? Or will humanity's remnants, as well as the mutations, destroy what little comfort they've managed to find in one another? Because if Alec's learned one thing, it's that nothing good lasts forever, and happiness, as well as forgiveness, is something he's not entirely sure he deserves...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: To Kill a Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story, an original one, that I just recently finished. It's a very rough first draft which needs a lot of changes and editing, but even so I'm going to go ahead and post it. I realize there are a lot of mistakes, but again, it's a first draft. I had no idea where I was going with it when I started it, so it might be kind of ramble-y at some points, and OOC in others because of this. I still hope it sounds okay. People seemed to like it another site I posted it on. Here's hoping you like it, too.

**Slow Burn**

 

Chapter One: To Kill A Friend

 

So fast.

Everything happened so _fast_.

“Alec, please.”

            “No,” Alec hissed, shooting his best friend a glare. “I’m not doing it, Silas.” He shook his head and glared through the tears filling his eyes. In his hand he held a long, jagged blade. The very blade Silas got him not even six months ago, on his fifteenth birthday.

            Now he stood facing his best friend. Silas’ eyes were too glossy for him to be aware what he was saying. Otherwise he wouldn’t ask this of Alec. But right now, the fever tearing through him left him nearly invalid. The hole in his shoulder where teeth ripped through flesh wasn’t helping matters, either.

            “You know I’m right,” Silas said quietly. His voice was rough and weak but he refused to keep from talking, refused to just rest and take it easy. “It was a zephro, man.”

            “I _know_ ,” Alec hissed, because it wasn’t like he could simply forget. He knew what it was, and in the back of his mind, he knew what it meant.

            Ever since M-Day two years ago, sightings became more frequent. The government tried to contain it, but it was failing. The world was slowly coming to an inevitable end and the government kept trying to give people hope. For Alec, the hope died a year ago when he lost his family.

            All he had left was Silas, his childhood friend. And right now, Silas had a high fever and his breaths came in short, staccato pants. Deep down, Alec knew what was happening. The government tried to hide it, but he’d seen too much of this. He knew it wouldn’t be okay – would _never_ be okay.

            Even so, there was no way he could just give up.

            “Just do it,” Silas said, and Alec shook his head again.

            For nearly an hour, they’d been doing this. When it started, Silas seemed fine enough. Sore, but that was to be expected since he’d gotten a bite taken out of him by a zephro. Steadily things went downhill, though. He’d seen it enough to know its process.

            It started with pain. The bite itself was painful. If you survived that, then came the fever. The chill, the shaky breaths, agony as the organs shut down one by one… eventually ending in death.

            “You’ll be okay,” he said weakly.

            Silas tossed him a look, but the anger in it was less prominent due to the way the brown orbs were so glazed. A grimace overtook his pale, sweaty face and tremors ripped through his body. In an instant, Alec was at his side again, running a damp washcloth across his forehead, knife forgotten as the blade hit the ground with a low clang.

            “Tired,” Silas murmured, eyelids beginning to droop, but his jaw was too strained for Alec to believe in the hope of a comfortable sleep.

            Alec swallowed. “I know you are,” he said quietly.

            “Hurts.”

            He closed his eyes, struggling to keep the moisture from getting out. “I know,” he repeated softly.

            “Please…”

            “I… no,” Alec whispered, lower lip trembling despite how hard he bit down on it. He needed to be strong, couldn’t let this get to him… couldn’t let it show. After the past few years, and losing his family, he thought he was all out of tears to shed, but apparently not. “I can’t, Si, I… I can’t.”

            Pain crossed his friend’s face when more tremors tore through him, leaving his body to spasm. It lasted only a few minutes but felt like an eternity, and they just kept getting longer. Alec rode it out with him, keeping the cloth moving around his face and forehead, trying to offer any relief he could.

            “H-Hurts,” Silas whimpered, throwing his head back in the cold cement ground. It wasn’t comfortable, but Alec hoped it would help with the soreness – the cold did that sometimes. He also hoped it would bring the fever down, but so far, it just kept going up. He barely had a fever an hour ago – now it just kept climbing.

            “I know it does,” he whispered. “But I can’t, okay? And you’ll be okay, just… just relax, okay?”

            “A-Alec…”

            Another spasm tore through him, leaving him breathless and moaning.

            “P-Please… it h…h-urts so m…much…”

            Alec tightened his grip on the knife, which he held next to him as he knelt next to his friend. “I know, Si… I know it hurts, but…”

            Fever-glazed brown eyes stared at him imploringly. “ _Please_ … I can’t… it _h…hurts_ …”

            He snapped his eyes closed, struggling to breathe through the rising fear coursing through his body, ice in his veins and ice in his spine, keeping it straight and rigid. He knew the second _it_ happened that this would be what it was like. He knew it’d be like this. He’d seen it before.

            Silas was bitten by a zephro, one of the mutations to spread after M-Day.

            The zephroes and the neutrohales were kept in a containment facility during the early days. The cells which mutated were originally forced into their host bodies as last-hope procedures for life-threatening illnesses, like cancer and AIDS. However, things went horribly wrong, and for a while, they tried to fix their mistakes. The first mutations were kept concealed and contained, unknown to the general public, but slowly it started to spread.

            Both mutations were deadly. To be bitten was a death sentence.

            And Silas was bitten by a zephro a few hours ago. Alec had seen the poison take hold of his parents, lay crying with his sister as she died in his arms, and now he sat watching his friend, the last link to his family, as he choked for air, body quivering with each labored breath.

            Zephroes possessed certain infective chemicals in their saliva. It had been explained to Alec, when his parents were bitten, that their mouths were like garbage cans – riddled with diseases and insanitation. Once they bit into their prey, that was it. The poison, the infection, spread through their body and if the zephro didn’t kill them, the infection soon would. Neutrohales were no better. In fact, maybe they were worse.

            To be bitten by a neutrohale meant certain change. To be bitten by a zephro meant certain death.

            “P- _Please_ ,” Silas gasped as a coughing fit tore through him, eyes wide, pupils blown as he looked at Alec, breaths loud and scrambled. “I’m b…begging you, m-man! Just… p- _please_ …”

            Alec knew he should do it. He should do it to keep Silas from this pain, to protect him, but all he wanted to do was _save_ him. “Si… please don’t ask that of me,” he whispered as he ran the rag over his friend’s forehead again, brushing back dark brown bangs long-drenched with sweat.

            “Please… d-don’t want… to g-go like t-this…” A quick, shaky breath. “ _Please, ‘lec._ ”

            Alec’s hand stilled and his breath caught in his throat at the nickname. He hadn’t heard it in a long time. He’d also never heard Silas in this much _pain_ before. Combined, it just left his heart aching so damn _much_ …

            “ _For me_ ,” Silas continued.

            And, shit, what could he say to that? No?

            “O-Okay,” he choked out, nodding. “Okay, Si.”

            “O-Okay?”

            “I… I’ll do it, just… God, Si…”

            “T-Thank… y-you…” A trembling hand clasped his wrist with a strength he didn’t know his friend possessed, before the strength vanished and the grip fell away with a shaky, staggered breath. “Th-ank… you…”

            The relief in Silas’ voice had the tears finally leaking out of Alec’s eyes, trailing down his face in little, salty rivulets, the bitter taste of betrayal. He lifted his knife and held it over Silas’ chest, struggling to ignore the way his hand shook. If he did this right, it would be quick – one little mistake and he’d only add to his friend’s pain, and he couldn’t do that.

            “I’m sorry,” he said, lower lip trembling.

            _I just wanted to save you._

            “I’m sorry.”

            _I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to do this, Si…_

           “I’m _sorry_.”

            With a cry, before he could lose his nerve, he plunged the blade downward. It stabbed through Silas’ shirt and skin to rest comfortably in the swell of his chest, severing arteries. Silas released a quick, pained gasp before his eyes fell on Alec, and a relieved smile ghosted across his face.

            And then he closed his eyes, and that was it.

            That was how Alec killed his best friend… his last connection to what was, but would never be again.


	2. Chapter Two: Fellow Survivor

Chapter Two: Fellow Survivor

 

 Present Day, six years later...

 

_Dark. Quiet._

            The streets were empty save for the abandoned cars lined along the sides, parked for a short while only to be forgotten in the long run. The dismal sky spat out trickles of rain, stirring old, muddy puddles pooling on the corners. Thunder clapped overhead – once, twice, then died away. Silence surrounded the streets, save for the quiet patter of rain pelting down from the sky.

            Alec walked alone down the streets. His footfalls were silent save for when his boots splashed through water. In his hand, he held tight to his pistol, a gun he’d managed to confiscate off the body of a fallen man a few days ago. Guns were not his forte, but he did like the way his finger curled around the trigger. It was a lot more effective than a knife.

            Damp brown bangs clung to his forehead, poking at his eyes. Angrily, he blinked away the little drips of water and slowed his pace. A shiver tore through him and the hair on his neck stood on end. He’d grown to trust that feeling over the years.

            So he stopped and spun around, narrowing dark hazel eyes at the road behind him. Every appeared as it had when he first walked through it, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he was being watched. He tightened his grip on the gun and brought it up slightly, just in case he had to use it in the next few seconds. But everything remained silent.

            _Alright, Alec – getting paranoid. Nothing’s there._

            After a minute, he sighed and lowered his gun, turning back in the direction he’d been walking. A cool breeze swirled around him, and he bit his lip to keep from shivering. Soaked with rain, and with the wind on the rise, he knew he’d have to find shelter soon. The sky was already darkening, and it was dangerous to be out at night.

            He turned off the street he was walking on, splashing through small puddles. Thunder clapped overhead and he ducked through the entryway of an old, abandoned house. The front door was gone, but he assumed the splintered fragments of wood were once the door, but now they coated the ground and crunched under his feet as he stepped over it.

            The house was dark and quiet, but at least it was warm and dry. He eyed the door momentarily but didn’t see anywhere better to stay through here. All that was through here was abandoned stores and buildings, most of which were too boarded up for him to break in, short of shooting through it, and he’d learned to not use his gun unless absolutely necessary, unless he planned on getting the hell out of there in the next few minutes.

            So far, it was relatively quiet in this town. He hadn’t seen anything – friend or foe. No humans, and no mutations. Ever since M-Day eight years ago, he saw something usually every day, but for the past few days, it had been rather quiet. He wasn’t sure if that was a relief or just unsettling.

            He found the bathroom and shut the door, relieved it had a lock and still seemed in relatively good shape. Unfortunately there wasn’t anything to prop against the door to keep it shut, so he’d have to rely on the lock for now. Hopefully, if something got close enough to actually break down the door, he’d be awake and alert enough, and close enough, to shoot in the face.

            He sat down on the edge of the bathtub. It hadn’t been used in a long time. Dust lined the edges, just as it did pretty much every inch of this room, and the house save for in front of the open doorway. Rain and wind cleaned that up.

            How long had it been since anyone was here? He didn’t know. He didn’t really care to know. He didn’t care why they left, either. All he knew as it was a place to stay for a bit, and that was all he needed.

            He used to enjoy things about houses. It reminded him of his younger years, when everything was good and safe. But that changed after Silas’ death six years ago. After he killed his friend, he didn’t look at houses the same ever since. Houses were not homes. Nothing was. Nowhere was home anymore, just stops on the way, and he had no idea where he was going. For years now, he’d simply been wandering. He had nowhere to go, and no one to miss him or guide him, because there was no one left.

            He’d come across other people before, but hadn’t seen another human for about a month now. It was a little unusual, but then, their numbers were dwindling rapidly. Too many had died already, and more kept dying every day, so maybe it wasn’t a shock he hadn’t seen a human in a while. Maybe there just weren’t any left.

            He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He never got along with the other humans. He preferred to be alone – it was just easier that way. Other humans were either corrupt and only wanted your supplies, or they wanted you to join their ‘group’ or something like that.

            Various groups emerged the past few years. People trying to survive, banding together, using the strength of the many to win the battle, but it was a lost cause. Alec knew that. It was why he never joined. Plus, he wouldn’t be a very good addition. All he could do was use his knife. He wasn’t very proficient with guns, though he was learning, but his aim was still pretty off unless he was close to his target.

            Thunder roared overhead, rumbling through the walls and into the porcelain tub which he sat on. He sighed and settled in the bathtub, resting atop the dust as he got as comfortable as he could in such a position, feet slung over the side of the tub, shoes pointing toward the door, which he kept an eye on with his head atop the other side of the tub, where the tub met the wall. He put the gun on his stomach and looked up at the ceiling, sighing.

            _What’s the world come to? How did it get like this?_

            Everything seemed okay at first – like it would pass. But eight years later, Alec was starting to think it would never be okay again. It was already too late for his family, and too late for his friends. How could things be okay without them?

            He shook the thoughts from his head. Thinking about it never did him any good. Right now, he just wanted to sleep. He hadn’t slept for the past two days, unable to find a place good enough to actually rest for a while, but this seemed good enough. The town was quiet, it was storming outside, and he was locked in a dusty bathroom in an abandoned home.

            Slowly, he allowed his eyelids to close as thunder clapped overhead once more.

 

 

_Creeeaaak…_

            Alec’s eyes snapped open and he sat up before he was even fully conscious. All thoughts of sleep forgotten, he barely had time to rub the sleep from his eyes before he was on his feet, gun in hand. At his belt was his precious knife, a blade he’d practically grown up with in this chaotic new world, ever since he was fifteen. He was very adept at using it, but he had to admit guns were nice because he didn’t have to get close to the mutations.

            _Creeeaaak…_

            The sound came again, something heavy shifting old floorboards, moving closer. Alec felt a chill race down his spine but he forced himself to stay calm, sucking in air slowly and quietly. Loud breaths could be his downfall. Both neutrohales and zephroes had excellent hearing.

            They could probably already smell him, though.

            _Shit. I’m screwed. So fucked._

            If there was only one, he had a chance at survival, but these things liked to hunt in packs, neutrohales especially. Zephroes could be loners or pack members, and it might not have even been hunting, but seeking shelter from the rain.

            _Maybe it’s another human, and not a threat._

            He quickly dismissed that thought. Even if it _was_ a human, that didn’t mean they weren’t a threat. The world changed people. Where once everyone banded together to fight against this threat, now they killed first and asked questions later. If you didn’t join their group, you meant nothing to them. If you stumbled across their group and didn’t join them, they were likely to kill you for fear that you knew too much. It was just how it was these days. Humans did not mean safety.

            Quietly, Alec edged toward the door. Something moved just outside of it, and a low snarl echoed through the old, dusty walls. His breath caught in his throat as he allowed his hand to hover over the lock, ready to throw the door open and run if need be, or throw it open and shoot, but both of those options seemed unlikely to end in anything other than his death.

            _If there’s just one…I’ll be okay._

            He could handle one, if he was careful. If he was lucky, he might even be able to handle two, if they weren’t close together, too far apart to help each other. But he would not, could not, handle three – of either mutation.

            Zephroes were fast and agile, and their claws were lethal, as their bite was poison. Neutrohales were larger and less agile, but what they lacked in agility, they made up for in strength. Their skin was amazingly thick. Knives were pretty much useless against them, which was part of the reason Alec finally gave in and started wielding a gun. He wasn’t sure which mutation was worse, but even though it was the zephroes that cost him everything – his family, his friends, and Silas – he would rather face it than a neutrohale, any day.

            The growl came again. It practically rumbled through the door, and he took a tentative step back. If it was going to break in, he was going to shoot in the damn face. He wasn’t anything’s meal. He’d come too far to let it end like this, had suffered too damn much to die in a dusty bathroom.

            Claws raked against the door. The sharp razors presented themselves as they sliced easily through the wood, dark and stained with dried blood and dirt. Alec took another step back, holding his gun at the ready, biting down on his tongue to keep from even breathing, because he had to do this right. He couldn’t miss.

            A misshapen face snarled at him as the wood gave way and splintered inward. The limber body of a zephro stood in the opening, back heaving as it growled at him, dark gray eyes narrowed and focused on him. The skin, like that of a badly charred human – dark, ashen, and bleeding in some spots – bent over flexed muscles as the mutation charged forward.

            Jaws unhinged and split open to devour him whole if need be, showing the razor-sharp fangs which dripped with their diseased saliva.

            Alec closed his eyes and fired. He didn’t feel any pain, so he opened his eyes and watched as the zephro staggered back, missing the lower half of its jaw. With a yowl, it bolted from the room and disappeared from view, creaking the floorboards in its wake.

            He stared at where the mutation stood just seconds ago, and felt a quiet laugh break free of his throat, breaths shaky as he hunched forward, hands on his knees, and breathed for all he was worth. He did it. He shot it in the face and it took off, and he was alive!

            He swiped a hand over his sweaty forehead and grabbed his supplies, which was an old backpack which he’d found a few years ago next to some dead guy. The guy obviously didn’t need it anymore, and it came in handy, not that he liked stealing from dead people.

            He walked out of the bathroom, knowing he couldn’t stay here. It wasn’t safe. That zephro would be back – he knew he hadn’t killed it. It would have a hell of a time eating without the lower half of its jaw, but it would get the job done somehow.

            He took three steps down the hallway when he felt the hair on his neck stand up. A huff of breath brushed across the back of his neck and he froze, a lump in his throat. The snarl which emerged from the throat of the mutation behind him left him closing his eyes, because he knew it was over.

            This was it.

            He fucked up, and it was over.

            _I’m going to die here._

            He practically felt the jaws gape open and zoom in on him, but the pain never came. Instead, there was the _crack!_ of a gun firing, and something hot and wet sprayed his back. He jumped forward and spun around, watching as the zephro collapsed, a hole evident through its head. Severing its ability to think was one of the fastest ways to kill the assholes – either that or wound them enough they bled out, but that was pretty hard.

            For a moment, all Alec could do was stare at the dead body on the ground, before he managed to tear his gaze away and focus on the figure standing in the shadows. With a growl, he brought his gun up.

            “Show yourself,” he snapped. “Slowly.”

            “Jeez, is that the thanks I get for saving your sorry ass?” came a voice, and Alec would be lying if he said he didn’t relax a little, because, _fuck_ , it was _human_.

            A man emerged from the shadows, around Alec’s age. The guy’s arms dropped and he held the AK-47 at his side, in a casual but deft grip. If that shot was anything to go by, he knew how to handle a weapon, and Alec wasn’t going to dare to underestimate him in that regard. Other than that, he appeared pretty normal – weak, even. He wasn’t very tall, about three inches shorter than Alec who stood at about 5’9” last he managed to check. The guy was very lean. He wore baggy clothes, pants held up by a bloodied belt with a scraped, rusted buckle. Alec figured he got it, and the clothes, off a dead body, which would explain the blood and why the clothes didn’t fit.

            Sharp green eyes watched Alec, peering out of a pale face and a veil of dark, strawberry blonde bangs. It almost looked pink, but was too dark for that, and Alec knew it was his natural hair color because there was no such thing as dyeing one’s hair these days – that kind of stuff no longer existed.

            For a moment, the two stood staring at each other, before the guy shifted and held out a hand. Alec stared at the hand, not lowering his gun.

            “Hi,” the guy said with a small smile. “I’m Caleb.”

            Alec narrowed his eyes and finally lowered his gun, but didn’t stick his hand out to shake the other guy’s.

            The guy dropped his hand, frowning. “You know, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to say ‘oh, hello! My name is Such-and-Such, nice to meet you!’”

            Despite himself, Alec felt his lips twitch into a faint smirk, because the guy raised his voice at that last part and fluttered his eyelashes. “I’m not a girl,” he felt like saying. “And I’m Alec – not that I owe you anything.”

            The guy stared at him. “Don’t owe me any…? I totally just saved your ass. I think the least I could get is a thank you.”

            Alec cocked his head to the side. “Thanks. But I had it under control.”

            “Pfft,” the guy, Caleb, said, waving his hand, shaking his head. “Didn’t look very ‘under control’ to me.”

            “It was fine.”

            “Not from my perspective, babe.”

            Alec scowled. “I’m not your ‘babe’.”

            Caleb shrugged. “Whatever. Just admit I saved your ass.”

            “Thanks for the _help_ ,” Alec said, tossing him a quick glare. Then he turned on his heel and started walking away.

            “Hey – where ya goin’?” Caleb asked, jogging after him. Alec glanced at him. Over his back was slung the AK, hung from a bloody strap.

            “Nowhere you’re going,” Alec replied, turning his focus toward the door as he pushed it open and stepped out of the house. It was a different entrance than the one he’d used to get inside, located through the kitchen off to the side of the house. It opened into a fenced in yard and he scowled, moving toward the fence.

            “We could probably help each other,” Caleb said, watching as Alec climbed up on the fence, half on one side and half on the other, sitting atop it. He glared down at Caleb.

            “I don’t need any help.”

            “Looks like you do, babe.”

            “Okay – I don’t _want_ any help,” Alec said. “And stop calling me that.”

            “I think we should stick together – you know?”

            “I think that’s a horrible idea. Thanks for the help, but I don’t want a traveling buddy. I’m fine on my own. So, bye.”

            With that, he dropped down on the other side of the fence and started walking.

            He didn’t need any help. He didn’t need anyone. Caleb saved him once – but that was as far as it got. Alec didn’t want his help. He’d been fine on his own for the past few years – traveling with someone would only slow him down.

            Thankfully, Caleb didn’t follow him.


	3. Chapter Three: A Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not particularly fond of this chapter, but oh well. Again, rough draft. I plan on fixing this soon enough. Bear with me in the meantime.

Chapter Three: A Warning

 

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“For me.”_

_A swift jab downward of a knife, a blade given to him in friendship, only to end in blood…_

            Alec’s eyes snapped open as he woke with a gasp, heart beating a mile a minute as he sat up, fingers clawing into the cement floor beneath him. Quickly, his eyes darted around but nothing was out of the ordinary – he wasn’t in that building, answering his friend’s pained pleas. He was in an abandoned store, in the back room – the pantry. It was cold and dark but safe enough, with a heavy metal door and thick cement walls.

            He was safe. There was no reason to worry.

            _“Please, ‘lec.”_

            Alec closed his eyes, digging the heel of his palm into his forehead, clenching his teeth. Silas was okay now. He wasn’t in pain, and he wasn’t in this fucked up world. He didn’t have to worry about anything more. Alec didn’t have to worry about him. He didn’t have to fear he was in pain, because there was no more pain where his friend was. Silas was away from all of this, just like his family.

            That didn’t mean he liked what he did. That didn’t mean he wished he hadn’t done it. Maybe the bite wasn’t always fatal – maybe Silas would have been okay if given the time. Maybe Silas was immune.

            Alec sighed and shook his head. No one was immune – that was insane. Too many people had died for anyone to be immune. If there was such a person like that, the government would have found them and used them to create a cure by now, to stop this infection from spreading, to stop people from dying.

            As far as Alec knew, no one was immune. At first it spread through saliva. The infected individuals kissed their lovers, or let their children drink after them, before they knew anything was wrong. Then it spread to the lovers and children, and just kept spreading. Alec knew that was how the zephro mutation, or ZM, spread. The neutrohale mutation, NM, was different. Alec didn’t know much about it because, as a young teen, he’d found it more useful to study zephroes, since they destroyed everything he had. It hadn’t been a neutrohale that had taken his family from him. It hadn’t been a neutrohale that bit Silas and left him begging Alec to kill him.

            As far as he knew, there was no cure, no way to stop it. The CDC, to his knowledge, disbanded long ago, as had the government. It was every person for themselves now. There was no stopping this.

            Life just kept going, and he was happy his family wasn’t here to witness the end. He was glad their suffering was over, even if it meant he was here all alone. At least they were okay now.

            _I’ll join you guys soon, okay?_

            And he would. One day he would join them, and wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.

            Scrubbing a hand over his face, he got to his feet and lifted his backpack, slinging it over a shoulder before he pushed open the door to the pantry. He paused momentarily, glancing around, but was greeted only by sunshine and birds chirping. The sound made him smile. He didn’t get to hear that sound very often, but it usually meant things were okay.

            The presence of the mutations left the wildlife eerily quiet.

            He pushed out of the abandoned store and down the street. He had no idea where he was going, but he couldn’t stop. To stop could mean certain death, because eventually something – or someone – would show up. Humans might not have been as bad as the mutations, but they couldn’t be trusted either.

            Briefly, Alec’s thoughts strayed back to the guy he met a few days ago – Caleb. He seemed nice enough, and he did save Alec’s life, but the thought of the two of them traveling together was simply absurd. Traveling with someone meant there was a liability. They would just get in the way. It was much easier to travel alone.

            Besides, people couldn’t be trusted.

            Alec had been alone for years now – ever since he killed his friend. At first he traveled with a group, but left when they became too inhuman for his liking. The world changed people these days, after all. Eventually they started becoming like monsters themselves, selfish and cruel, and he didn’t like it, so in the dead of night, he left. And he’d been alone ever since.

            It certainly wasn’t going to change now.

            “I wouldn’t go that way if I were you.”

            The sudden voice left Alec flinching as he whipped out his knife and spun in the direction of the noise. He found Caleb leaning casually against an old house, the white paint chipped and faded.

            “Huh?” he grunted, not lowering his blade.

            Caleb pushed off the wall and approached him. “I wouldn’t go that way if I were you.”

            “Well, I’m not you.”

            The blonde shrugged, blowing the strawberry strands out of his face. “Hey, you wanna get yourself killed, no skin off my back. Just thought I should warn you.” He turned and started walking in the direction Alec had previously come from, quietly humming to himself as he fingered the strap of his gun, slung over one shoulder to rest on his back.

            Alec sighed and shook his head. “Why are you warning me?”

            “Lots of zephroes back that way,” Caleb tossed over his shoulder. “Not that you care or anything. I mean, you don’t need help, right?”

            “Right.”

            Alec watched as Caleb disappeared from view, and then turned and eyed the direction the guy cautioned against. If there were really zephroes that way, how would Caleb know? If he’d been that way, he would have been attacked.

            If he was trying to scare him, it wasn’t going to work.

            Hunching his shoulders, Alec moved forward.

 

 

Thirty minutes later, it started to rain. First it was a few drops here and there, but then, as always, came the downpour. Scowling, Alec moved toward the nearest shelter – an old gas station along the edge of the road. Weeds grew out of the long-empty pumps. Alec lightly pushed the broken glass aside and ducked under the bar on the door to enter.

            Lightning flashed across the sky as he sat on the counter of the little mini-store, next to the cash register. It was open but no money was in it. With the amount of dust on it, Alec guessed there hadn’t been any money in it for a long time. Money was pretty much useless now, unless one used it to make a fire or something. It was just paper.

            Thunder clapped and left Alec sighing, because it seemed like this storm might last a while. It didn’t surprise him – it was mid-April, after all.

            _April showers bring May flowers._

            That was what his mom used to say. A faint smile crossed his face before he shook it away. He dropped his backpack next to him and unzipped it, pulling out a sandwich he’d managed to make himself earlier. Finding food was always the worst, but sometimes he got lucky. Today he managed to find bread and meat that wasn’t bad. Somehow. He didn’t want to think about how he got it.

            Instead he focused on the food as he bit into it, releasing a contented sigh as he chewed. It’d been so long since he’d actually had _food_ food, and not just something he could find in scavenging. It was a wonder he was healthy at all, since most of his meals consisted of old candy bars he managed to find while looking around. He’d tried his hand at hunting a few times, but he was never very good at it. He just wasn’t good with guns, and it was too hard to get that close to an animal with a knife.

            It was just as he was finishing his sandwich that he heard it.

            Faint snarls, but there was no mistaking that hungry rumble. Alec swallowed down the last of his food, snapped his bag shut, and got to his feet, grip tight on the knife. He was stupid and forgot the gun in the bag, because he’d been safe last night, so right now all he had out was the knife. He wasn’t sure how much good that would do.

            _You idiot. Caleb warned you. Why didn’t you listen?_

            Because it seemed unlikely Caleb could know such a thing unless he’d been there himself, and Alec doubted the guy would be alive if he’d actually counted more than one zephro at a time.

            Carefully, Alec stepped toward the side door, off to the left. He watched the broken glass he’d come through, but saw nothing moving outside, except the rain trailing down the sides of the windows. Lightning struck in the distance and the thunder drowned out the low growling for a moment.

            He was just beginning to twist the knob of the door, freedom so close, when a growl sounded from behind him. Stiffening, he held tight to his knife and spun, coming face-to-face with the gaping jaws of a zephro. With a yell, he threw his arm up just as the zephro moved forward, managing to catch the mutation in the neck. Dark blood, almost black in color, sprayed from the wound and Alec’s nose twitched. He almost forgot about the smell.

            At the moment, though, he had one angry zeprho glaring at him. The wound did little except piss it off. If given the chance, perhaps he could have made it do some damage, but as it was, he was royally _fucked_.

            He held tight to the knife slick with the mutation’s blood and waited for the end to come.

            But it never came.

            “Alec!”

            The voice started not only him, but the zephro as well. The creature snarled and hissed and then lunged at Alec, claws outstretched and swiping. Alec jumped back as much as he could, and felt it when a hand landed on his shoulder, yanking him away from the oncoming attack, but it wasn’t enough. Pain sparked through his left side and he gasped as his legs gave way and he hit the ground on his ass, arms wrapped around his middle.

            The zephro snarled and moved toward him, eyes focused on the blood already squishing through Alec’s fingers.

            “Hey – hey, come get me!”

            The voice was familiar. Alec forced his suddenly blurry eyes to scan over and watch as Caleb stood in the center of the mini-store, aiming the AK at the zephro. The zephro snarled and rose taller – they had this nifty way of disjointing a part of their legs which made them seem taller somehow – as it locked in on him and sprang forward.

            Alec tried to breathe out a warning, but it wasn’t needed.

            _Crack!_ _Crack, crack!_

            The zephro dropped to the ground, missing a head. Bits of brain matter and blood splattered all over the floor, and Alec forced himself to look away as bile rose in his throat. A second later, hands pulled at his arms, unwinding them from his middle. Angrily, he slapped them away.

            “Go away,” he hissed. “I’m fine.”

            “You don’t look so ‘fine’ to me,” Caleb said with a scowl. “I told you not to come this way – and what do you do? You come this way!”

            “So did you.”

            “Only to stop you from walking to your death,” Caleb snapped back.

            Alec blinked at him, frowning.

            “Let me look at the wound.”

            “Huh?”

            Caleb narrowed his eyes. “Let me look at the _wound_.” He pried Alec’s hands away and inspected the claw marks. A faint smile crossed his face. “You’ll live, though I’m not sure that’s good news. You’re kind of an asshole.”

            “Gee, thanks,” Alec muttered. “ ‘cause you’re such a ray of sunshine.”

            “Compared to you, yep. C’mon, babe – to your feet.”

            Hands wound around his arm and lifted. Soon he was on his feet – shaky, but otherwise steady.

            “We need to get out of here,” Caleb said.

            A part of Alec wanted to argue, but he knew Caleb was right. The sound of the gun firing would draw attention. Any other zephroes in the immediate area would be there within minutes, and that was something they definitely didn’t need.

            As much as he wanted to push Caleb away, he knew the only reason he was standing was because of the way his arm was slung around the smaller man’s shoulders. Right now, he needed Caleb to remain upright. Soon, though, he could go on his merry way and be alone.

            But right now, he had to endure it.

 

 

They didn’t go very far. Alec’s vision kept fading in and out, but he knew if they went too far, he’d be unconscious right now. Caleb leaned him against a wall and disappeared for a moment, before he returned and helped him into a nearby house.

            “Not safe,” Alec said.

            “You have no input,” Caleb said with a smile. “But your opinion is noted, acknowledgement is pending.”

            Alec rolled his eyes and then groaned. Everything was starting to hurt. His side felt hot and cold with blood and the wounds throbbed.

            Caleb led them through the house and into the basement. Alec’s eyebrows raised because he hadn’t thought of that. Most of the houses through here didn’t have basements because they didn’t get tornadoes. Eventually, he’d just stopped checking.

            Basements were good places to hide simply because once underground, it became hard for the mutations to catch someone’s scent. Of course, they could still break in if they really wanted.

            They moved carefully down the creaky stairs and into the waiting darkness. Caleb sat him down on the last step and disappeared into the darkness. A moment later, Alec was blinded by light. Caleb moved toward him.

            “We should be safe enough here, for now,” he said, and then shrugged. “At least from the zephroes.”

            Alec nodded. Neutrohales were another matter entirely.

            “There’s medical supplies in the back, if you think you can manage.”

            He nodded again. Caleb rounded a corner and was gone for a few minutes before he returned with a duffel bag in hand and knelt in front of Alec.

            “How do you know where everything is?” Alec couldn’t help but ask as Caleb pulled out some bandages.

            Caleb shrugged. “This used to be my house, once upon a time. I travel through here at least once a year.”

            “Why?” Alec never visited where he used to live.

            “My parents are buried here. I try to visit them when I can,” he said, giving him a look. “Now be quiet and hold still.” He twisted open a bottle. “Take your shirt off.”

            Alec glared.

            Caleb rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you look simply _thrilling_ shirtless, but I just want to look at your scratches, tough guy. Or I could take it off for you. Your choice.” Then he sat back on his heels, folded his arms across his chest, and glared.

            Finally, Alec sighed and nodded. It was harder than he thought, taking his shirt off, and in the end Caleb had to grab the top and help him, because his side was far too sore for him to lift his left arm properly. He stared at the ground as Caleb dropped the shirt aside and moved toward him with the bottle.

            “Lean back.”

            Alec sighed and did so.

            “This is probably gonna hurt, you know, more than a little,” Caleb said with a shrug. “But try to be quiet, please. You can claw the hell out of my arm if you want.”

            “I’ve had antiseptic before. I’ll be fine.”

            “That wound is deeper than you think, babe.”

            “I’m fine.”

            “Whatever you say.” With that, he tilted the bottle forward and the liquid ran over his wound and down his side.

            And holy _shit_ , it was liquid fire! He inched away from it and unconsciously reached out toward the closest, solid thing he could grab, which happened to be Caleb’s arm. His nails dug in but to his credit, Caleb didn’t make a sound or pull away, just continued pouring. Then he put the bottle down and grabbed a rag, dabbing at the claw marks. More pain spiked through him and he growled, managing to release Caleb’s arm long enough to bat his hand away.

            “Sorry, babe,” Caleb said, frowning. “Had to be done.”

            He dropped the rag aside and picked up the bandages.

            “Sit straight up.”

            “Fuck you.” It hurt.

            “I’m just about tired of your attitude,” Caleb said, tossing him a glare. “If you don’t want my help, fine.”

            “I don’t.”

            The blonde tossed the bandages aside and got to his feet. “Fine. Deal with it yourself.” He picked up the duffel bag, shoved everything but the bandages inside, and stepped around Alec, up the stairs.

            “Where are you going?” Alec asked, watching him.

            “Does it matter?” Caleb shot back.

            With that, he opened the basement door – a pretty thick one by the looks and sound of it – and shut it with a snap.


	4. Chapter Four: Paint it Black

Chapter Four: Paint it Black

 

Caleb didn’t come back.

            Alec bandaged himself as well as he could, and felt a flare of anger for the other man. He just left him there while he was still hurt – anything could have happened! For a guy who pretended to give a damn about him, he sure wasn’t doing a very nice job of it.

            Then again, Alec begrudgingly realized, he was pretty harsh on the guy. Caleb was only trying to help. Alec snapped his head off. A part in the back of his mind whispered he should have been thanking Caleb for the help he’d provided, for trying to warn him in the first place, and for attempting to bandage his wounds.

            Another part of him argued that Caleb was purely selfish in his intention of helping. He simply wanted someone to travel with him. If he thought Alec would go anywhere with him, he was sadly mistaken. He didn’t need anyone. So he got hurt – big deal. It happened before and it would happen again. It was nothing new.

            Still, though…

            Caleb saved his life – twice.

            He still couldn’t believe he let that zephro get the drop on him in that house, or back at the gas station. Perhaps the duration of peace had him getting too content. For a while, he saw absolutely nothing – no danger, and no help. He relaxed too much and messed up, and would have died if it hadn’t been for Caleb.

            Of course, there was absolutely no way he would ever say that to the man.

            Then again, he probably would never see him again. He didn’t want to. Maybe it was good Caleb left him as he had, because it was just a complication Alec didn’t need.

            Once he felt satisfied with his bandaging, he got to his feet and looked around the dimly lit room. There were no windows, of course, so he had no real sense of time. It was probably mid-afternoon or early evening. If the sun was setting, he knew he would have to stay here for the night. When it was dark, the mutations had the advantage.

            Humans, no matter how highly they sometimes thought of themselves, did not have the gift of night vision.

            He scrubbed a hand over his face and released a slow sigh, grimacing when he shifted to the side too much. Pain stabbed down his side and he sat back down on the last step again. Briefly, he glanced toward the door at the top of them, but it remained closed, and the stairwell remained dark.

            Caleb wasn’t coming back.

            Thunder clapped outside, startling him so much he flinched and groaned as it pulled at his side. He absolutely hated the rainy season. Hated storms – the rain, the wind, everything.

            Exhaustion weighed down on him, mixing with the pain, and all he wanted to do at the moment was sleep.

            Carefully, he leaned back into the stairs, head resting on the one two above the one he sat on, and allowed his eyes to close.

            Within minutes, he was asleep.

 

To be completely honest, Caleb wasn’t sure what possessed him to turn around. He really had no reason to go back, other than to make sure that idiot didn’t screw up and die, but that was really none of his business, was it? He offered help but Alec refused it, therefore it wasn’t his problem.

            Except it was.

            _“Once you save someone, they become your responsibility,”_ his cousin said after saving Caleb from the fire which killed his friend. Left with no one but his cousin, he was left in his savior’s care. At the time it made sense.

            Now, it was different. Alec didn’t want help. Caleb had craved it after all the devastation, but that was a long time ago. Seven years, to be exact. Seven years ago, life was better. Seven years ago, he had help. But of course, life was cruel, and despite how hard he tried, despite how much medical knowledge he struggled to remember, he couldn’t keep his cousin, Adam, from bleeding out all over the floor in some disgusting bathroom, the scent of blood thick in the air.

            Part of him wanted to keep going. Wanted to forget Alec and forget the fact he saved the man’s life not only once, but twice.

            But the rational part of his mind won in the end, because he couldn’t in good conscious just walk away while Alec could very likely be hurting himself further.

            _Never saving anyone again. Remember that. Not my problem._

            With that in mind, he turned on his heel and walked back in the direction he came.

 

 

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“No, don’t. Don’t ask me that. Not again, Si.” Frantically, Alec eyed his friend, who lay panting on the ground, eyes glassy and face far too pale._

_“Just do it.”_

_“Si –_ no _.”_

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“Damn it – don’t-”_

_“For me.”_

_The knife moved quickly, stabbing into Silas’ chest-_

“Alec?”

_-severing arteries, and Silas looked up at him one last time-_

“Alec.”

 _-and smiled, fucking_ smiled _, before-_

“Alec!”

            Alec came awake with a pained gasp, instantly trying to sit up, disorientated, but was shoved back down before he managed to even really lift his head. For a moment, his blurry vision settled on the figure hovering over him, and it took all he had not to try to sit up again. “Silas?” he whispered, mouth barely forming the word, not daring to hope, to-

            “No, sorry, babe. Just me,” came a somewhat-familiar voice, and his vision focused to watch as Caleb frowned down at him, and green – not brown – eyes watched him carefully. “You’ve got a bit of a fever, and it looked like you were having a nightmare.”

            “You…” It took a minute to find his voice, to find the words gliding across the front of his mind, words he probably wouldn’t have said had his head not been throbbing and his mind still somewhat focused on the dream. “You…came back?”

            Now Caleb scowled, the green orbs flashing momentarily, but by the time Alec blinked, the gaze had cooled. “I’m not completely heartless,” Caleb said. “If you died in my basement, that’s bad karma.”

            Alec snorted. “I’m fine.”

            “Sure, babe. _Now_.”

            “Was fine before, and stop calling me that,” Alec said, scowling as the haze created by the dream slowly faded away, allowing him proper thought. He realized why everything was so stiff and sore and tried sitting up again. Caleb scowled but shifted somewhat, letting him. “Your stairs suck.”

            Caleb cracked a small grin. “Gee, sorry, didn’t know they had to be up to pillow standards. I take it you’re feeling better.”

            “Never felt bad.”

            The blonde shrugged and sat back on his heels. “If you say so. Did you have a nice nap?”

            “Fuck off.”

            Caleb frowned and then shook his head, getting to his feet. “Get up, babe – I got breakfast.”

            “Stop calling me – breakfast?” Alec blinked slowly. “It’s morning?”

            “Yup,” Caleb replied, fishing out a can of peaches from the duffel at his feet. He also pulled out a can opener and pried the top open. He held the can out to Alec, who stared at it.

            “How old are those?”

            “Oh, dinosaur age,” Caleb said, rolling his eyes. “It’s this or nothing, tough guy. What’s it gonna be?”

            Sighing, Alec reached out and grabbed the can. A few minutes later, the peaches were gone and he got to his feet, stretching and popping sore muscles and joints. This only caused his side to flare with pain, though, and he collapsed back onto the step.

            Caleb tossed him a slightly irritated look but said nothing. Instead, he scavenged through his bag, his back to Alec. After going through some kind of mental checklist, the blonde got to his feet and slung his bag over his shoulder.

            “I’m leaving,” he said, watching Alec. Alec simply blinked back at him. “You can come with me, if you want.”

            Alec shook his head and opened his mouth to reply, but Caleb cut him off by holding up a hand.

            “Right, got it. Tough guy, you don’t need help, blah, blah, blah. Take care of those scratches – hate to have wasted my medical supplies on you.”

            With that, he stepped on the side of the step and bypassed Alec. A second later, the door opened and closed, and Alec was alone again.

 

 

Days passed in a blur, as they often did. Alec ran into a few zephroes but thankfully not neutrohales, and his side healed rather nicely. He passed through towns and kept walking, unsure as to his destination but determined to get there anyway. Anywhere was better than the spot he stood in just a second before. He had to keep moving.

            There was nowhere to stop – not really. He stopped at night to sleep and eat, but other than that, he kept going. There was no reason to stop, because nowhere was safe. Nowhere was safe since M-Day, despite how long it took for the general public to realize this.

            Silas used to think it would be okay again, one day.

            _“One day we’ll wake up and everything will be great! You’ll see.”_

_“Yeah, maybe when hell freezes over.”_

_“You’re totally putting a damper on my positive attitude.”_

_“Stop pouting, it looks silly.”_

_“I’m not pouting, damn it!”_

_“Then what you call it, Si? Huh?”_

_“You know what? I hate you. I hate you so much.”_

_“Hate you too.”_

_“Well, good. Hate for this to be one-sided.”_

            Alec closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. His fingers curled automatically around the hilt of his knife, a jagged hunting knife he kept with him at all times. This knife was all he had left. All he had left of his friend, of the life he once had when things weren’t _okay_ , but were far better than they were now.

            _I’m sorry, Si. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want…_

            He forced that thought away quickly, snapping his eyes open. Dwelling in the past wouldn’t help him. He killed Silas. Murdered his best friend. Maybe Silas asked for it, and maybe he was right, but Alec still ended his life. He hadn’t been strong enough to say no, not when…

            _“Please, lec.”_

            _Stop. Don’t. Stop thinking,_ he practically begged his mind.

            Silas’ death was not something he wanted to think about. He didn’t want to think about death at all – not Silas’ and not his family’s. He lost everyone, everything he held dear, everyone who made things even the slightest bit okay even if the midst of disaster. At least after his family died, he still had Silas. Silas was always there, until suddenly, he wasn’t.

            Because Alec killed him.

            _Stop. Don’t think. Just walk._

            And for a while, that was exactly what he did. Lost in a sea of stark nothingness in his mind, his body on autopilot, he just walked and walked as though he could leave those thoughts, those memories, behind.

            But he knew all-too-well that he would never, could never, forget…or forgive himself for killing the last person who meant anything to him.

 

 

In hindsight, maybe Caleb shouldn’t have wasted those bandages on Alec, he contemplated as he pressed a hand to the giant gash on his arm. Blood squished through his fingers and he sighed, glancing at his duffel bag, but he only had a few bandages left. The wound looked worse than it was.

            In his previous life, before all hell broke loose, he used to trail behind his mom when she went to work. She was a nurse in the trauma unit. Most days he sat in her office, but sometimes he got to follow her around if things weren’t too serious. Of course, after M-Day, everything became serious. Hospitals were no longer safe. In the end, it was the death of his mom.

            He picked up a few things, though, and managed to patch himself up when needed. Rarely did he stop to patch other people up, which was why he couldn’t believe he actually helped Alec. Then again, as he said before, he wasn’t heartless – he couldn’t just stand by and watch someone die, not when he could do something about it.

            _“When I grow up, I want to be like you, Mommy.”_

_“We’ll see, baby. I bet you make a great doctor.”_

            A faint smile twitched to life on his face before he managed to swallow it down. He missed those conversations. He missed talking to her – talking to anyone, really. People didn’t talk anymore. They grunted, and threatened, demanded, but never just talked. Sometimes the mutations seemed more vocal than the humans he came across.

            Sighing, he began humming to himself to break the silence around him. Everything was just so quiet these days. He missed the noise – the sound of other people nearby, the sound of things being _okay_.

            And damn it, he missed _music_.

            He could only hum ‘Paint it Black’ so many times before he started to forget what the song actually sounded like, when it wasn’t being hummed.

            Sometimes, it felt like that was what the world became after M-Day – something which used to shine brightly, but someone went and stole all the paint except black, until there was nothing left except a startling lack of color.

            _I see a red door and I want it painted black…_

_No colors anymore, I want them to turn black…_

            That was all it was these days. Black. Cold.

            _Empty_.

 

 

“We have _got_ to stop meeting like this.”

            The voice startled Alec, leaving him staring as he turned to face the owner of that voice. A scowl crossed his face as he watched Caleb stroll toward him. “Are you stalking me or something?”

            “Or something,” Caleb said with a smirk, before he shook his head. “I left before you, remember? Maybe you’re the one following _me_.”

            “Why would I do a stupid thing like that?”

            Caleb shrugged and cocked his head to the side. “I’m going that way.”

            Alec sighed and watched as Caleb began to walk off – again. For a guy who claimed to want to travel together, he sure walked off a lot. Not that Alec cared, of course.

            He was just turning to walk in the opposite direction when he heard the crack of a gun, and spun back around to find Caleb on his knees, watching as a group of people moved toward him, circling him. For a minute, all Alec did was watch, confused, but then one of the guys moved toward the blonde and grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking his head up.

            _What the hell?_

            He took a step forward and stopped. He had no desire to get caught up in this…whatever it was. It didn’t concern him. He didn’t owe the blonde anything. The guy left him there to patch himself up and then just left again.

            Of course, Alec wanted him to go.

            Scrubbing a hand across his face, he was just about to move toward the group when he found about three guys already moving toward him, guns aimed at him. He stared at them for a minute, gaping, before he snapped his mouth shut and glared.

            “To your knees,” said the tallest of the three men.

            Alec shook his head. “Sorry, but, you know, these are new pants, and-”

            A bullet shot out of the gun with a quiet _bang!_ and Alec flinched as the bullet whizzed by his ear.

            “Not going to say it again, kid.”

            “What do you want? I don’t have anything of value.”

            This was true – he didn’t. Everything was gone.

            He craned his neck around the men in front of him and caught sight of Caleb standing in the middle of the rest of the group, hands bound behind his back, gun held in the firm grip of a man who aimed it at the blonde’s face.

            _What do these people want? This is crazy!_

            “To your _knees_.”

            The butt of the gun slammed into his head, leaving him gasping as he sank to his knees, black spots darting across his vision. He brought a hand up and touched it to his head, thankful when he pulled it away to find it clean of blood. Next, his wrists were grabbed and yanked forcefully behind his back, despite how much he struggled. Handcuffs slid onto his wrists, the cool touch of metal leaving him shivering.

            “What do you want?” he asked again.

            The tallest guy sneered down at him and nodded at the other two. “Bring him.”

            With that, he turned on his heel and moved back toward the rest of the group. The other two men each grabbed one of Alec’s arms and forced him to follow after the guy.

            “What’s going on?” he whispered to Caleb when he was forced to walk next to him. Unlike him, Caleb’s hands were bound by a thick, prickly rope. It had to be more than a little uncomfortable.

            Caleb’s lips formed a thin white line and he shook his head, not even glancing at him.

            _That bad, huh?_ he thought, a knot forming in his stomach.


	5. Chapter Five: Welcome to Captivity

Chapter Five: Welcome to Captivity

 

With a groan, Alec woke a sleep too deep to be natural, and found himself in an unfamiliar – even by his wandering standards – dark room. The scent of something wet wafted up his nostrils – it reminded him oddly of the lakes he used to visit with his dad when he was younger, back when he fished for _fun_ and not for survival. Lips a thin line, he pushed himself into a sitting position, pausing momentarily as a wave of dizziness crashed into him.

            The floor he sat on was damp and cold. Slowly, his eyes began to adjust and he found himself in what looked like an old cell. Bars clung to the only side of the room which did not contain a wall, but the hallway was dimly lit and silent. Carefully, he got to his feet and edged toward the bars. Fingers curled neatly around them, but he knew he couldn’t open it.

            Memories returned easily enough. He remembered handcuffs, and being led away by a group of guys. He wasn’t alone then, though. Now he was.

            Alone in the dark with no sense of time, and his head was burning.

            “Hello?” he asked quietly, voice rough with misuse.

            “Ah,” came a refreshingly familiar voice, and Caleb appeared at the bars of the cell across from him, just barely in the light. “Finally wake up?”

            Alec grimaced. “What’s going on? Where are we?”

            “Old jail cell,” Caleb replied. “I don’t know what’s going on, exactly.”

            “But you have a hunch,” Alec said, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he knew that, but there was something in the guy’s voice which led him to believe he was hiding something. He’d barely known the guy a week and already, he knew when he was hiding something? How did that happen?

            There was a moment of silence, before Caleb sighed and shook his head. “Trust me – you really don’t want to know.”

            “But you know,” he said. “And I’m stuck here anyway. It’s going to happen.”

            “I don’t know exactly what they’re going to do – each group is different,” Caleb explained, “but I do know it’s pretty bad if we’re in cells. How bad? Could range anywhere from being used for hard labor, being used as bait for nearby mutations, or, hell, even being used for sex!”

            Alec stared across the hallway as the guy’s faint outline. He could only barely see his face, but he’d notice that look anywhere.

            Caleb was scared.

            Thus far, the guy hadn’t shown anything except annoyance and a positive – albeit annoying – outlook on anything that happened. He took down zephroes single-handedly, when Alec screwed up and let his guard down, knew how to handle an AK to a degree it was embarrassing to Alec’s utter lack at firing skills, and knew first aid.

            But now he was scared – because of _humans_.

            Alec wasn’t sure what that said about their situation, but now he felt the dark knot of fear easing around his heart.

            “Take your pick of those options,” Caleb said.

            Alec sighed and closed his eyes. “I’d rather not.”

            “Yeah – me neither.”

            He looked at the bars and felt around until his fingers slid across the keyhole. He might be able to break out if he-

            With a growl, his fingers brushed against air as they slid over his belt. The gun was gone, but most importantly-

            “Where the fuck is my _knife_?”

            “A…? We’re in cells waiting for them to do God knows what with us, and you’re worried about a damn _knife_?” Caleb asked, incredulous.

            Alec shot a glare across the small hallway. “That knife is fucking important! Where the fuck is it?”

            “They stripped us of weapons before they threw us in here,” Caleb said, moving to the side. He turned so his back was to the side wall and slide down it with a sigh.

            With a growl, Alec kicked at the bars, but of course they didn’t give way. Jails may have not been in use the past few years, but that didn’t mean their ability to hold prisoners had diminished at all. The bars were still thick and round, too solid for him to have any hope of breaking.

            And they had his knife. Fingers kept scratching at where that knife was _supposed_ to be, where it _should_ be. Where it _always_ was. But it wasn’t there, and he felt strangely…naked, without it. Vulnerable. _Lost_.

            _“Happy birthday!”_

_“What the…? Si, you didn’t have to get me anything.”_

_“Just open it and smile, idiot.”_

_“Si…where’d you get this?”_

_“You wouldn’t_ believe _the old man I had to fight to get this. Last one there! He wanted it for his collection, can you believe that? We’re trying to fight these mutations and he…well, anyway, smile!”_

_“Si, don’t! Damn it, I hate having my picture taken!”_

_“You’ll thank me one day.”_

_“Very seriously doubt it.”_

_“You’ll thank me when you’re a bitter old man looking through old photos.”_

_“Yeah, well…thanks for the knife, man.”_

_“Hey,_ someone _has to make sure you can defend yourself.”_

            Alec closed his eyes, leaning his head forward, resting it against the cool touch of the bars, fingers still curled tightly around them. His knife was gone. The knife was _gone_. The last link to _Silas_ was _gone_.

            _No. I’m getting it back. Don’t worry, Si, I’ll get it back._

            “Where’d they take the knife?”

            “How should I know?” Caleb asked. “I was tossed in here just like you. I have absolutely no idea.”

            “Fuck.”

            There was a long pause. “Hey, maybe it won’t be so bad,” Caleb said quietly, almost thoughtfully. “Maybe it’ll be okay and you’ll get your stupid knife back.”

            “Or maybe you’re a liar.”

            “Yeah,” Caleb said with a bitter laugh, “or maybe that.”

 

 

The day passed in a blur. Alec slept little, and only actually laid down when his head got to throbbing too much. He’d asked Caleb why it hurt, and the blonde told him it was because he’d been resisting too much, so they clocked him over the head with the butt of the gun and he passed out. That would explain his confusion about getting here.

            No one came to the cells. There were no windows, and the area was always dimly lit. He had no sense of actual time, and didn’t know if it was day or night. Occasionally Caleb called over to him, but for the most part, they stayed quiet. They had nothing to say to each other.

            Alec leaned heavily against a wall and sighed. His knife was gone. That last, vital connection…was _gone_. And he had no way of getting it back, because he was trapped in this cell and completely outnumbered. Not to mention the fact he had no idea where the knife was, where they took it.

            _I’m sorry, Si. I didn’t mean to lose…I didn’t want…I’m sorry._

            “So why’s that knife so important?” Caleb asked, startling Alec from his thoughts. He opened his eyes and glanced toward the bars. In the other cell, Caleb sat on the floor much as he himself was, not looking at Alec but instead down at the ground.

            “It just is.”

            “It was a gift, huh?”

            Alec frowned. “Yeah.”

            _The last gift I got from my best friend. The gift I fucking murdered him with._

            Caleb nodded slowly. “If I see it, I’ll let you know.”

            Alec stared at him for a moment, because that was…oddly touching, coming from a guy he barely knew, yet he felt like, on some level, Caleb _understood_.

            “Thanks,” he said roughly.

            For a moment, they were surrounded in silence. While it wasn’t exactly _wanted_ , it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable, either. It was welcome as a silence could get given the circumstances, and Alec felt like maybe, just maybe, he could breathe again. Hope seeped through him slowly.

            He could get out of this, and get the knife back. Everything would be okay.

            A door creaked as it opened and footsteps echoed down the hallway. Alec frowned and slowly got to his feet, because this was the first time anyone else had joined them. Three men stopped between their cells and looked at both of them, as though calculating.

            “That one,” said the shortest of the three, and Caleb was hauled out of his cell and forced down the hallway.

            Alec watched as the guy disappeared from view, and for the first time in a long time, felt concern seep through him, but not for himself – for a guy he barely knew. He clutched at the bars and stared down the hallway long after everything returned to silence, and to his surprise, actually hoped Caleb would come back.

            _Don’t know you very well, but…I don’t really want to be alone._

            Being alone out in the world was one thing – being alone, trapped in a cell, prisoner of crazy people…that was another story entirely.

            Thankfully, though, soon enough, Caleb did return. He was thrown back into his cell and the two were left alone, and whatever happened, Caleb didn’t talk about it. He simply shook his head and tossed him that lopsided smile, and completely changed the subject.

            “Don’t worry about it, babe,” Caleb said, voice a little rough but otherwise, Alec was actually relieved he sounded okay. “I want ice cream.”

            Alec stared. “Ice cream?”

            “Mm, Blue Moon. The best.”

            “You’re crazy.”

            “Let me guess – you’re more of a vanilla person, am I right?”

            Alec sighed and shook his head. “Chocolate, but I’m not really a fan of ice cream.” In fact, he barely remembered what it tasted like.

            “Ah, well – I won’t hold it against you.”

 

 

For a while, things were okay. They were taken from the cells and put back in them, and nothing out of the ordinary – was this seriously ordinary? How was this his life? – happened. And everything was relatively okay.

            Until suddenly, it wasn’t.


	6. Chapter Six: Cell Time

Chapter Six: Cell Time

 

For weeks, they continued this routine.

Occasionally they were taken from their cells, only to return hours later. When Alec was taken, it was for labor, for the most part. He helped build a few things, though he wasn’t sure what they were, because he simply chopped down the trees, cut up the wood, and help break the metal. He had no idea what these things would turn into. Soon enough, he was always tossed back into his cell. When Caleb was taken, the guy never spoke of it, though he did return with a few cuts and bruises here and there.

            After a week of this, Alec expected it. He expected the random trips away from the cell; he expected the return and the way Caleb’s eyes scanned over him before they spoke; he expected the small smiles and the random subjects.

            “Fuck, I want a cheeseburger,” Caleb said one day, so suddenly Alec opened his eyes and rolled his head enough to look across the hallway, into Caleb’s cell. Currently, he lay on the floor, body aching and tired from today’s work. It hadn’t been anything too trying, but he’d gotten very little sleep for reasons he couldn’t quite understand.

            Caleb should have been more tired than himself, since the guy was gone all night – at least, Alec assumed it to be night. When he went outside earlier, it was daylight, but slipping into evening.

            “A cheeseburger?” he echoed slowly, just to be certain he heard the guy right.

            “Mm, yeah,” Caleb said with a nod. “Just a plain one, no pickles or ketchup or anything. Just…fuck. I’m hungry.”

            Alec sighed. “Yeah…me too.”

            They rarely got to eat. Occasionally they would be given food – a few pieces of bread passed through the bars – and some water, but that was pretty much it. He seemed to always be hungry these days. It wasn’t anything new, because he was no stranger to hunger. For years he scrounged for food, fought to stay alive in a world, by all accounts, he should have died. Fought for food, for his right to live, and now he was forced to take what little was given to him through the cell bars whenever their captors deemed it necessary to feed them.

            He was sure that, one day, they would forget about them, and they’d starve. Last week it nearly happened. Then again, not with hunger, so much as water. So damn thirsty, all the time. Last week, water and food were both scarce, and what he got, was simply not enough.

            His body craved – demanded – more.

            “Know what I miss?”

            Alec sighed and focused his attention again on the blonde, who never seemed to shut up. “What?”

            “Fucking commercials, man.”

            For a minute, Alec held his breath, but the punch line never came. For the first time in a long time, he felt the stirrings of… _amusement_ sift through his chest, and bit back a quiet, weak laugh. “Commercials? I would have thought TV shows, but okay.”

            “Nah, you can re-run TV shows all the time,” Caleb said dismissively. “But commercials? It’d be nice to know if other people were actually still out there, and well, doing well, you know?”

            “Yeah,” Alec murmured, sighing heavily, “I know.”

            It would be nice if there was a sign of humanity out there, thriving – not just surviving, but actually living. That was never going to happen, though. Even if things did somehow, against all odds, turn out okay in the end and things miraculously turned back to normal, he doubted he’d be alive to witness it.

            In fact, he’d probably die down in these cells, alone and without his knife.

            “Babe, stop.”

            “Stop calling me that,” he huffed, but it was more automatic than anything. “And stop what?” He stared at the ceiling, tired of having his head turned to view the other man.

            “All that negative thinking – it’s really irritating and putting a damper on the awesome comfort of this cell, so, yeah. Shut those thoughts up, babe.”

            For a moment, Alec simply stared up at the ceiling, but then allowed himself to glance across the hallway at Caleb. The blonde watched him carefully, green eyes twinkling somewhat in the dim lighting, slow smile working onto his face.

            “You should probably get some sleep, babe.”

            “Stop calling me that.”

            Caleb shrugged. “Gonna be tired in the morning if you don’t sleep.”

            Alec blinked. “What’d you do last night? You didn’t sleep.”

            For a minute, the blonde froze, and that in itself was unusual. Caleb liked to be animated when he could be – that was, when he wasn’t too exhausted, or tied down, literally. Alec often watched him pace around in his cell, or talk animatedly with his hands, but in this moment, he did nothing. His gaze did not even linger on Alec, but instead shifted ever-so-slightly to the left, focusing on the wall behind him.

            “I slept,” the blonde said somewhat stiffly. “But I’m tired.” With that, he lay down, back facing the bars, and thus back facing Alec as well.

            For a minute, Alec simply watched him, before he sighed and closed his eyes.

 

 

Caleb wasn’t sure why he bothered trying to get a comfortable sleep. The ground was annoyingly hard, it was cold, and he had a headache. His body ached and there was little he could do about it, save for the rare moments he managed to tire himself out so much he went thankfully, blissfully numb.

            It was early when they came for him this time. It was no unexpected, though he did feel a flicker of disappointment – and a touch of dread – shoot through him nevertheless. The cell door opened and hands hauled him roughly to his feet.

            Alec wasn’t awake when they came down, but he now stood staring after him, hands holding onto the bars, teeth biting at his lower lip. Caleb didn’t know what to say, so he simply raised a hand in a quick farewell, and offered a small smile.

            He wasn’t sure why he bothered. He couldn’t reassure anyone that things were going to be okay. Things would never be okay – not really, right? Even so, he did not like to see the downtrodden expression on the other guy’s face. After weeks of seeing it so much, he just wanted it to go _away_.

            So he smiled, and waved, and tried to act like he would be back, but every day they took him away to do whatever they wanted him to do on that day, there was always a part of his mind which wondered if he’d ever come back…or if, today was the day he would die…alone…unwanted…

            He wasn’t sure why he bothered.

 

 

Alec’s head throbbed incessantly as he was led back to his cell. The dimly lit hallway never felt so welcoming. Struggling to suppress a groan, he didn’t know anything was different until he found himself not collapsing onto the cold floor, but a warm body instead.

            The body moved.

            Despite the exhaustion and pain, he forced a tired eye open, other eye swollen shut due to the bruise and laceration below it, and found guarded green eyes watching him closely. It was an awkward position, and he couldn’t remember when Caleb was ever upside down, or how he got his hair to stay like that if he was, in face, not right side up.

            “What’d ya do this time, babe?” Caleb asked, and that casual drawl, that nickname he often argued against, was so damn familiar at the moment, it took all he had not to lean into the warmth and close his good eye.

            “Don’ know,” he murmured sleepily.

            “Yeah, well…I need to breathe, babe. Please get off.”

            Alec rolled off Caleb and had to admit he preferred the warmth over the cold touch of the ground, even though he wasn’t sure why. Must have been the pain and exhaustion talking. Made sense.

            “How are you?”

            “ ‘m fine.”

            “Babe.”

            Alec scowled and then winced as it pulled at his eye. “Head hurts.”

            There was a brief moment of silence, before Caleb sighed and suddenly his head was being lifted. For a moment, he startled and started to flail about, but a hand landed carefully on his chest, halting his movement, and his head was placed down onto a pillow of soft warmth.

            He found himself once again blinking up at Caleb in all his upside-down glory, but this time he wasn’t practically crushing the guy. Instead, his head was in the blonde’s lap, and normally Alec would be horrified – because, damn it, he didn’t need anyone, okay? – but at the moment…

            “ ‘m tired,” he slurred, unsure as to why he said it, even as Caleb’s eyes seemed to soften somewhat.

            “Yeah. Well. Might have a concussion, babe.”

            “ ‘m fine. Sleepy.”

            “I know. Hey, remember candy?”

            It took a second for his mind to latch onto the random subject. “Candy?” he asked, head throbbing at the thought of chocolate. He groaned and closed his good eye.

            The night was not ideal, but it was the first of many that was to come.

 

 

            Alec found that he did not have the heart to ask why they now shared a cell, nor how it happened, because for once in his life, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth because they’d probably be separated again, and as much as he liked his independence – well earned, damn it – he found there were times when he did not wish to be alone…at all.

            Soon, he did find out why they did not have separate cells anymore. More people came through that dimly lit hallway, after a little over a month of being trapped there all alone. At first it was one other person, tossed in the cell next to Caleb’s old one. A day later, there was another new person, in the cell across from it.

            Slowly they began to fill up.

            Alec did not like this.

            He didn’t like this situation, _period_ , but this was ridiculous.

            “We’re all gonna die down here!” a frantic woman screamed from a cell down the way. Alec sat at the back of his cell, knees pulled to his chest, back against the wall. He really wished she would shut up, because she wasn’t making things any easier.

            “They’re gonna eat us,” someone fretted in the cell two down.

            “Use us as bait!”

            “Rape us!”

            “We’re gonna _die_!”

            Alec used to think it would be incredible to hear another’s person’s voice speak so emotionally, so fearfully, but not like this. Coming across human life was not meant to be like _this_.

            His head throbbed, and he closed his eyes.

            “They’re gonna kill us all!”

            “We’re gonna die and no one will ever know!”

            “Bait!”

            “Rape!”

            “We’re gonna _die_!”

            “ _Hey_!”

            Alec’s eyes snapped open as silence descended through the area. He shot his gaze toward his cellmate, who stood at the bars, glaring out at those he could see from where he stood, looking left, right, and straight.

            “Are you guys _done_ with this pity party?” Caleb all but growled. “Because life isn’t fucking easy but you gotta suck it up, you got it? You wanna bitch and moan what’s left of your life away, go ahead – but please keep in mind some of us are _recovering from a concussion_ and all your yelling is certainly not _helping_!”

            For a long moment, nothing was spoken. Alec stared at Caleb as the blonde shot one last glare at those he could see, and then turned on his heel and walked back into the interior of the cell, where he paced back and forth briefly. Alec pushed himself to his feet, frowning, hand reaching out…to…he didn’t know.

            He brought his hand back to his side.

            “Are you okay?” he asked.

            It was logical to ask this, he reasoned. It was logical to be worried, because Caleb was his cellmate, and at the moment, the only thing keeping those other prisoners from killing him with their cries.

            Caleb shot him a quick, irritated frown. “I’m fine, babe. Know what I miss? Fucking _steak_. I’m so hungry I could eat a farm. Do you hear me? A-”

            “Caleb?” Alec could not stop the alarm from seeping through his voice as he watched Caleb pale, crouch over, and vomit onto the floor. Puke splattered the ground as the blonde groaned and swiped a hand across his mouth. Alec took a few steps forward, despite his aversion for the bile. “Caleb? What’s…?”

            “I’m fine,” Caleb said, grimacing, slowly dragging his eyes up to look him in the face. “I’m fine. Just…stomach’s been upset. It’s fine. It’s okay.” He shrugged and then scrubbed a hand across his face, sighing.

            “You should sleep.”

            “Fuck sleep.”

            Alec rolled his eyes and snagged Caleb’s arm, dragging the guy toward the back of the cell, where they usually slept, more away from prying eyes. Caleb sighed and slid to the ground, back against the wall. After a moment, Alec sat next to him.

            He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask how Caleb was feeling, when he first started feeling sick…

            He wanted to ask where all these new people were coming from.

            He wanted to ask what it was they had Caleb do when they took him away, because it was obviously taking a toll.

            He wanted to find out where his damn _knife_ was.

            He had a lot of things he _wanted_ to do, _wanted_ to know, but for the time being, all he did was allow his fingers to stretch, briefly, across the ground to brush against Caleb’s knee. The denim jeans were old, dirty, and had large holes in the knee, allowing his pinky to just barely slip across the exposed skin.

            It was temporary – just a second, really, but then Caleb looked at him, and gave into a faint, soft smile.

            And everything would be okay, because how could they not be, when the blonde smiled like that?

 

 

Alec was in a bad mood.

            He was tired, hungry, and his head throbbed slightly. The other people in the cells were loud and annoying, and more people kept showing up, more people sharing cells now. The dim lighting was starting to hurt his eyesight, because now when he went outside, it took forever for his eyes to adjust to the brightness, even if it wasn’t even a sunny day.

            It was time for bed – or, at least, the time in which he usually went to sleep, as did the others – but something was missing. His head hurt, he was tired and hungry, and his pillow was uncharacteristically absent.

            He was in a bad mood.

            He wasn’t sure when he became used to this arrangement; wasn’t sure when he grew used to the warm lap or stomach becoming his pillow, but there was no denying it now. In the weeks they’d shared a cell, Caleb seemed to not mind being his pillow. At first, it wasn’t his idea.

            He had a concussion, and Caleb insisted, and moved his head himself. Alec was too tired and too out of it to argue.

            But it grew from there. Now, he found it hard to sleep when he did not have that comforting warmth rising and falling beneath his head. He wasn’t sure when it became normal for this to happen – he wasn’t sure when he _expected_ it, but that was how things were now, and there was little he could do to change it.

            He was stuck in this situation, so he might as well accept it, right?

            But right now, he was alone. He was seldom alone at night, when they were meant to be sleeping. Very rarely did Caleb stay gone for so long, and when he did, he usually seemed to know about it beforehand, because he would often tell Alec to ‘not wait up’ for him.

            But that wasn’t what happened today. Caleb left as usual, and Alec was taken out for his daily amount of labor, and then returned to the cell. The blonde was not back yet, and sleep eluded him despite the fact he was exhausted and his head ached.

            So, yes, Alec was in a bad mood.

            He sat at the cell bars, Indian style, staring out them and down the hallway, but it remained empty and, for the most part, dark. There was no movement. No creaky door opened. Caleb did not step through that entryway, nor had he returned in the past four hours Alec had been waiting.

            _Oh well. Sleep better without him moving and snoring and…Yeah, a lot better. Go to sleep._

            He lay down, but not in the usual place at the back of the cell, but instead where he previously sat, still looking out through the bars. In the cell across from him, he saw two people sleeping in the back, on opposite sides of the cell, curled in on themselves. It was cold down here, where there were no windows and everything appeared dark and damp. It was one of the good things about having a warm, breathing pillow…

            He closed his eyes.

            _I will not think of that. No. I don’t need him. I don’t need him to sleep. He is nothing. Just…a distraction._

            Distractions, however, were good. Down here, they were practically _needed_. Without distractions, Alec wasn’t sure how long he would last. Constantly thinking of the darkness, or impending doom, would certainly leave him going mad. Thus far, Caleb did a marvelous job of distracting him from such thoughts, often bringing up the thought of candy, or ice cream, or something completely random.

            Maybe that was why Alec didn’t cry out or behave like the others? Because Caleb talked his ear off, about things that had nothing to do with their situation?

            Sighing, he rolled over so his back was to the bars, and tried to sleep.

 

 

_“You let me die.”_

_Brown eyes, glassy and dull, face pale save for the flush of the fever, the-_

_“No, Si – I didn’t! I tried…I wanted…I didn’t…”_

_“You let me die. Did you even care?”_

_The sharp downward thrust of a knife given in friendship. Blood, everywhere. Silence – not more raspy, shaky breaths, no more begging, no more…just…_

_No more._

“Alec.”

_“I’m sorry, Si, I didn’t want to. I tried…”_

_“You didn’t try hard enough, did you? Just let it happen.”_

“Alec?”

_Comfort. Comfort in that voice, but unsure as to its direction…_

_“Why did you kill me, Alec?”_

_“I didn’t! Si, I…no. No. I didn’t. I…I’m sorry.”_

_“I’m still dead.”_

“Alec? Hey. Alec.”

_Ghostly fingertips, over his brow. Warm, inviting. Head, incased in warmth. Soft. Comfortable._

“Alec.”

            Alec’s eyes snapped open as he released a hiss of a breath, focusing on the worried green eyes hovering over him. For a minute, all he did was stare, before he allowed himself to release a slow breath, and close his eyes. “Back?”

            “Yeah – sorry. Nightmare?” Caleb asked quietly.

            “Mm. Where?”

            “I was stuck, couldn’t leave. Sorry. How are you feeling? I see you have another knot on your head, tough guy.”

            He pried his eyes open again and couldn’t stop the slow smile which overtook his face. “Yeah, well…what can I say? I have a knack for…pissing people off.”

            “Don’t I know it.”

            Something. Something in his voice. Fog began to slowly clear from his mind as he focused his attention more, frowning. “Hurt?”

            Blood dotted the blonde’s face, dried and mostly wiped away, but the stains remained. One of Caleb’s hands rubbed at his face, over the spots. “I’m fine. Sleep, you infant.”

            “Not…”

            “You’re a whining mess,” Caleb said, brow raised. “Don’t try and argue with me. You are an infant. Now go to sleep.”

            Alec watched him for a minute, thought there was something he wanted – needed – to say, but sleep easily overtook his mind, head throbbing distantly, and thus he gave into the welcoming arms of sleep.

            But only after he felt those fingers smoothing over his brow.


	7. Chapter Seven: That Which Changes

Chapter Seven: That Which Changes

 

“Alec…time to wake up…”

            _Five more minutes, Mom…_

            “Alec.” Warm fingers in his hair, brushing, shifting, curling.

            _Mmm…_

            “C’mon, babe. Time to rise and shine.”

            _Babe?_

            Frowning somewhat, Alec forced his heavy eyelids to open and found himself staring up at Caleb’s smiling face, his head on the guy’s lap. This was nothing new, of course. It seemed to be how he usually slept these days – either like this, or with both of them laying down and him using Caleb’s stomach as a pillow. At first, it was odd, and he fought it – but now, he almost expected it.

            They’d been here for nearly two months, after all.

            “Rise and shine,” Caleb said quietly.

            “Time?”

            “Not yet,” the blonde replied, “but soon. Better get ready.”

            Alec sighed and sat up, scrubbing a hand across his face. Soon, their routine would begin. They would be taken out to do their jobs – what Caleb did, Alec still didn’t know – and would be returned here hours later, where they would tend to their injuries – there was usually at least one – and sleep.

            It was like this pretty much every day, so there was no reason to think today would be different.

            But it was.

            It started out slow. Caleb’s hand in his hair even as he sat up, slowly falling away when Alec focused his gaze on him. Green eyes shining with an optimistic glow Alec could never understand. Doors opening.

            Two men entered their cell and drug them out of it. This was slightly different, because usually they were taken away at separate times. This was also different because once outside of the cells, in the entryway which would then lead into the jail yard, they were stopped and the men leading them gave them long, calculating looks.

            “He’s good with his hands,” one of them said, slapping Alec on the back. “We’ll need him.”

            “This one it is, then.”

            With that, the other man’s hand came down to land on Caleb’s shoulder, and the blonde’s hands were wrestled behind his back and forced together with heavy metal cuffs. Alec blinked at the offending item, because if they were meant to do work, why was Caleb cuffed? It made no sense!

            _What’s going on?_

            “Better put those agile moves to the test, boy, hate for you to be wasted on the first day,” said the guy, hand firm on Caleb’s shoulder, as he yanked the blonde away and started walking off. Alec stared after him for a minute before he shook his head and darted toward them.

            “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. Caleb’s eyes latched onto his, and – “Caleb?”

            That look.

            That _look_.

            _No, no. It’s okay. Everything’s fine, he’s just…being difficult, that’s all, it’s fine._

            “Sorry,” Caleb said quietly.

            “Caleb?” he repeated, staring at him, heart lurching in his chest. Firm hands grabbed his shoulders and began forcing him away. “See you?” he asked, craning his neck over his shoulder to watch as Caleb was yanked in the direction of the stairs.

            _See you later, right? Tonight._

            A look flashed toward him. Dark, murky. Hesitant.

            Then Caleb was shoved forward and the two were forced in two different directions.

            Alec didn’t know what was happening, but alarm coursed through his head, throbbing with intensity. Briefly, he struggled, pulling backward, toward Caleb, but firm hands led him away. “Where’s he going? What are you doing with him? Hey!”

            He wasn’t sure why he cared – he barely knew the guy. But if he knew anything, it was that somehow, Caleb made this situation somewhat _bearable_. He was always there, with a touch or a word, when the nightmares were too much, when his head throbbed too much…

            He was always there.

            No one answered his questions, despite how much he growled and glared. They weren’t afraid of him. Maybe he could have been at least a _little_ intimidating before, back when he had muscle mass and strength, but being stuck in the cells for so long, with so little food, he’d pretty much shriveled to nothing. Sometimes he hated to think what it was like for Caleb, who was smaller than him to start with.

            He was forced into his usual area, and for the next ten hours, he tried to get Caleb out of his head, because not thinking was just much easier. He could handle it if he didn’t think about it, if he didn’t know. Not knowing was good news – right? Ignorance and all that. It would be fine.

            Everything would be fine, despite how odd things started today. Tonight he and Caleb would be back in their cell, the blonde’s fingers curled somewhere in the dark mess that was Alec’s hair, and they sleep soundly because everything would be _fine_.

            He thought he heard the distinct sound of a horse neighing in fright, loud and urgent, but he was pretty sure he was imagining that. Only these guys had horses – that he knew of, around here – and they rarely left the jail except to go capture more people, and they rarely used horses for that.

            What, then, could the purpose of the horse be? Why did it sound so frightened?

 

 

It was a little surprising to find he wasn’t the first to return to their cell, although the smile which tried to spark across his face was short-lived. Alec growled and darted forward, toward the back of the cell as the bars were locked behind him. He dropped to his knees and ran tired, callused hands over Caleb’s bloody side.

            “Shit, what happened?” he asked, staring, because that looked like a lot of blood, and he didn’t know the extent of the injury or even how long Caleb had been here.

            Caleb swiveled his head toward him somewhat, eyes barely open. “Alec,” he breathed, sighing. “Don’t…. Need to practice…always…always jump to the _side_ …not…not _back…_ ”

            “Caleb?”

            Alec’s hand clutched a fistful of the blonde’s tattered, bloody shirt as he stared the guy in the face, watching dull eyes slide closed. A knot tightened in his stomach, leaving his breaths pausing momentarily, before he released a low growl and shook the stilling form.

            “Don’t go to sleep, you asshole,” he hissed. “Not until you tell me what the fuck happened. Hey!”

            Blood lightly coated his hands, but it looked like the wound had mostly slowed to a sluggish flow. However, the blood loos was more than a little unnerving, and he wondered how long Caleb had been here, unattended, before he arrived. Without thinking, he jabbed two fingers into the pulse point on the blonde’s neck, and snarled beneath his breath at the rapid, uneven pulse.

            “Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered. “Okay, um…shit. Don’t move. And don’t sleep.”

            Caleb grumbled something unintelligible, which Alec took as consent. He grabbed the torn edge of the blonde’s dirty, bloody shirt and lifted, getting a better look at the wound. He bit down on his lower lip at the jagged claw marks he found there. They weren’t too deep, thankfully – or the blonde would have been dead already. However, they were jagged and raw-looking. Infection looked like it had settled in already, and there was little Alec could do about it.

            “Fuck,” he hissed, narrowing his eyes at the wound like the change in his eyesight would make the outcome different, but of course it didn’t. “What happened?”

            “Got to…be bait, today,” Caleb breathed quietly, eyes still closed. At least he was talking, though.

            “Fuck, shit, really? Fucking _bait_?” Alec asked, staring at him. When he’d first woken, so long ago, in his own cell, Caleb said something about potentially being used as bait, but so far nothing like that had happened. Thus, Alec had been _sure_ …that nothing like that would happen…

            But it had. It happened to Caleb, of all fucking people. And why? All because everyone thought Alec was great at building shit. That was why. That was what it came down to, that final choice, about which of them would be used. Now Caleb didn’t look very well – at all.

            Sweat glistened on his brow, even in the dim lighting. For once Alec was actually thankful for the lack of lights, because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he could clearly see the extent of the blonde’s injuries. They already looked pretty bad – better lighting would make things worse.

            “Bait, okay, yeah, fuck…”

            “ ‘s okay.”

            “It’s…? Fuck you, you asshole, it’s not okay,” Alec hissed, glaring at him. “And I told you no sleeping.”

            “ ‘m obviously…not asleep…”

            “Yeah, well, open your eyes.”

            “Mm,” Caleb said, but didn’t comply.

            Alec scrubbed a bloodied hand over his face and sighed. “You’re the nursemaid here – what do I do?”

            “Jus’…J-us’…s…”

            “Caleb?”

            A pause.

            “Caleb, you son of a bitch, I said no sleeping,” Alec growled, jabbed a hand into the blonde’s shoulder somewhat harshly. Caleb released a soft groan and shifting a little, but otherwise remained silent, eyelids closed and unmoving. Meanwhile, the wounds continued to seep blood, and fuck it if the blonde didn’t look pale.

            _God damn it. Fuck. What do I do?_

            Stop the bleeding. That was the first priority.

            Nodding to himself, he slid closer to the blonde and tore his own shirt off, pressing it to the wound, ignoring the shiver which crawled through his body as the chilly air swept around him. He dug the shirt into the wound, hoping to stop the blood flow as soon as he could.

            He wasn’t prepared for Caleb to shoot awake with a gasp, green eyes snapping open to land on him.

            “F-Fuck,” the blonde hissed, shifting away from him and his touch, “stop!”

            “Can’t,” he said, shifting after the blonde. “Suck it up. This is what you get for sleeping when I said not to.”

            “Fuck, it was like f-for…five goddamn minutes…”

            “What did this?”

            “Fuckin’…zephro,” Caleb hissed, groaning, tossing his head backward, into the ground. “A nursemaid…you’re not.”

            “Nope, that’s not my job.” A new knot formed in his stomach. “Just claws?”

            “Mm,” Caleb breathed, eyes sliding closed. “Jus’ claws…”

            Alec released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. What did he care if this idiot went and got himself bitten? Then again, he’d seen that process far too many times before. He did not wish to see it again, on anyone.

            Let alone the one guy who made this whole ordeal even the least bit bearable…

            _Stop that._

            “I think it’s infected,” he said.

            “Probably,” Caleb agreed.

            “How long ago?”

            “ ‘bout…t-two hours?”

            “Fuck.”

            “ ‘m tired.”

            “Yeah? Well, tough shit. Don’t sleep.” He was happy to see the wound wasn’t seeping as much. It seemed to have pretty much stopped, thankfully. With a sigh, he pulled his shirt away from the wound and Caleb groaned and tossed his head backward again, into the hard floor.

            Alec sighed and shook his head, moving around the blonde so he was at Caleb’s head.

            “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

            He lifted the blonde’s head and placed it in his lap, as Caleb had done that first time. For a minute, nothing was said, and green eyes slid open enough to peer at him. They stared at each other momentarily, before Caleb sighed and closed his eyes again.

            “Don’t sleep.”

            “Tired.”

            “I know,” Alec said quietly, still watching that pale face though he wasn’t entirely sure _why_. “Doesn’t change anything. Don’t sleep.”

            “Don’ have to…worry, you know…”

            “Me? Worry? Pfft.” Damn crease in his brow – when did that get there?

            “Have a…good immune…system…”

            “I’m sure you do.”

            “I’ll…be fine.”

            Of course he would. It was nice to hear, though.

            “I know.”

           

 

Alec didn’t sleep well that night. He could have blamed it on the fact he didn’t have his usual pillow – he was the one being the pillow this time – but he knew that wasn’t it. He’d admit he felt like he should stay awake and monitor the blonde’s breathing, because Caleb inevitably fell asleep – or unconscious, but he preferred the former. Occasionally Caleb would wake, but only for a few moments, and he wasn’t entirely coherent.

            There was little else Alec could do, though. He had no medical supplies and a part of him wondered if he made things worse by pressing his shirt into the bleeding wound, because his shirt was anything but clean. Then again, it was all he had.

            He’d just have to trust Caleb about his strong immune system.

 

 

Caleb wasn’t there.

            Alec stared into the empty cell as he was shoved inside, and was surprised to find himself alone. It was late evening now, the normal time he returned to the cell, but Caleb had been asleep when he left. He hadn’t wanted to leave – had even fought momentarily, until he was hit on the back of the head. Caleb was still hurt, and pale, and he shouldn’t have been missing. He should have been here, in the cell, waiting for Alec.

            But he wasn’t there. Therefore, he either died and they removed him from the cell, or they took him out to do labor or something, which, in his condition, could potentially kill him if he wasn’t careful.

            Alec scrubbed a hand over his stubble-ridden face. “Fuck,” he whispered, biting down hard on his lower lip. He walked toward the bars and caught the eye of the person in the cell across from him. “When did they take him out?”

            “Who?” the other guy asked, eyes narrowed.

            “The other guy in this cell – Caleb.”

            Now the man shrugged. “Not my problem.”

            Alec narrowed his eyes into a glare but said nothing, because technically that was true. It was also likely this guy wasn’t even in the cells when Caleb was taken away. “So you don’t know where they might have taken him?”

            He wasn’t sure why he asked. He already knew the answer.

            The guy shrugged again. “Not my problem. Now fuck off.”

            With that, he turned his back to Alec and walked toward the back of his cell. Alec growled to himself, hands wrapped around the bars he stood at, glaring at the man. He didn’t say anything, though, because at that moment, the door to the area opened and he snapped his gaze toward it.

            “Caleb,” he breathed without meaning to, when he saw the bowed blonde head moving toward the cell. A man opened the cell and shoved Caleb inside, where he staggered slightly and knocked into Alec. As the cell door was shut, Alec grabbed Caleb’s arm and pushed him away somewhat, looking him up and down briefly.

            Tired green eyes landed on him, and it felt like something in his chest loosened somewhat. “You look tired, babe,” Caleb said with a faint smile. He sounded much better than he had before, and he wasn’t nearly as pale. “You weren’t worried, were you?”

            “No,” Alec said with a scowl. “Of course not. I take it you’re feeling better.”

            Caleb shrugged slowly. “Still sore, but they gave me some bandages, so I should be okay.”

            Alec nodded, a little shocked they would have given him bandages, but then again, they probably didn’t want their prisoners to die. Then they’d have to find more, and it seemed like it was a hassle to actually find and capture people. At least, Alec assumed it to be.

            “Get some sleep, babe,” Caleb said as he sat on the floor, back leaning against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him. For a moment, Alec watched him, before he sat down next to him.

            “Where did they take you?”

            “They learned I had some medical skill so they had me patch up one of their people,” Caleb said with a heavy sigh. “In exchange I got to patch myself up.”

            Alec nodded – that made sense. “How’d they get hurt?”

            “They got a little too up close and personal with a zephro.”

            “Why?”

            “They were trying to retrieve a body.”

            “A body?”

            Caleb nodded and allowed his gaze to slide sideways, toward the other cells, and back again. Alec nodded slowly, a knot in his stomach.

            “Who died?”

            “Some guy a few cells down,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “They thought the zephro was gone and went to get the body, but the thing came back. Nearly took the guy’s arm off.”

            “Should have let him die.”

            Caleb slid him a look. “I’m not a killer, babe.”

            Alec shrugged. “Still. They wouldn’t have done the same for you, or anyone here.”

            “I know…but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish things were different.”


	8. Chapter Eight: Sitting Ducks

Chapter Eight: Sitting Ducks

 

            So cold…but warmth.

            Alec snuggled into the warmth without thinking, brow creasing as he woke to semi-consciousness, folded into that warmth like it was where he belonged. A quiet chuckle rumbled through him, from his warm pillow, and he forced his eyes to blink open. He found himself snuggled into Caleb, arm thrown across the blonde’s chest, face buried in his side, their legs tangled.

            Quickly, he tore away and then shivered, because, _fuck_ , it was freezing. Caleb sighed and shook his head.

            “You’re such an infant,” he said, but there was no heat in his voice. He sat up, back against the wall, and snagged Alec’s arm, tugging him toward him. Alec toppled over and crashed back into the warmth, mind still somewhat groggy with sleep. “Why do you have to make things difficult? It’s cold, babe. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

            Alec blinked a few times, regaining his mind. His first instinct is to pull away, but the warmth is inviting, and it’s freezing. For days it had been storming outside, thus leaving them mostly in the cells. Currently Alec lacked a shirt – they were seldom given shirts and his last one had to be sacrificed for a cut to his leg. Caleb patched him up nicely, though. That was three days ago, and since then, he’d been stuck in this cell.

            The same cell they’d been in for nearly three months. The same cell he was beginning to think he’d never leave. Sighing, he decided to stay where he was for now, simply because the air was too chilled for him to think about moving away. Caleb was a natural warmth against his freezing, bare chest, and it wasn’t like this was entirely new. He practically slept huddled against the guy, though he’d never admit it if anyone asked.

            The nightmares, for some reason, didn’t come nearly as often when he had Caleb around for a warm pillow. He hadn’t had such a dream in nearly two weeks. Then again, it could have just been because, for the most part, he’d been too tired to even think about dreaming. At the end of the day, his body just shut down and he was gone for the night.

            However, lately, he found himself in an odd place where they were not taken from their cells except once about every other day, for hygiene purposes, and only in very small groups. The showering room was utilized at least twice a week, more if the filth and grime became too much. Alec wasn’t sure why their captors cared about their hygiene, but then again, they didn’t want them to die. Perhaps they cared enough to keep them satisfied in their hygiene needs.

            It was odd, though.

            He wasn’t sure when his head fell down and rested against Caleb’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure when an arm came around his waist, hugging him toward that warmth. But, he found he was not complaining. Instead his eyes drooped closed and listened to Caleb hum under his breath, the rumble which echoed through his cheek leaving him almost smiling.

            His mom used to do this. Back when things were okay. He’d climb on her lap, and she’d rock him back and forth, arms wrapped tightly around him, and she’d hum various songs until he fell asleep. He hadn’t realized how much he missed that until now.

            “Still raining?” he asked, voice nothing but a quiet mumble.

            Caleb stopped humming. “I think so. Get some more sleep, babe. I won’t let you freeze.”

            A faint smile twitched across his face briefly, before it vanished. “Don’t need your help.”

            “Yeah, well, I’m cold too, tough guy.”

            Alec sighed and nodded, digging his face more into the blonde’s shoulder, eyes tightly closed. Sleep dragged across his mind even as he shivered somewhat. “How’s your…your…” He swallowed, trying to gather his thoughts, but sleep yanked at him sharply. “How’s your side?”

            “It’s fine, babe,” Caleb said, a smile evident in his voice. Fingers brushed across his forehead, smoothing back his bangs. “Get some sleep.”

            “You too…”

            “Workin’ on it, babe. Sleep now.”

            Sleep dragged across his mind once more, and this time, he let himself sink into its warm embrace.

 

 

            Everything was in chaos, and Alec wasn’t sure what happened. One minute, he was sound asleep in his cell, the next, screams echoed down the hallway and it took all he had not to get up and _run_. Instead, he snapped his eyes open and jumped to his feet. Next to him, Caleb did the same.

            Together, they approached the cell bars as people screamed in the cells down the hallway. Snarls echoed through the air, along with the sound of bars rumbling as they were slammed into. More screams, this time of pain, fear, and-

            His eyes landed on the roaming form of a zephro. At least three of them were in the hallway, snarling at the bars, bloody claws easily cutting through them. Blood pooled at their feet, seeping from the cells around them. Two more zephroes emerged from the cells and moved down the hallway, ever closer to them.

            Alec’s heart jumped into his throat and he found it momentarily hard to breathe. A hand snapped over his mouth and he was shoved aside, into a wall, and toward the back of the cell. Caleb’s hands wound around him, pushing, shoving, forcing him to the back and to the ground. Alec tried to shove him off and get to his feet, but Caleb shot him a quick glare, eyes cold and fierce, and for a moment, all Alec could do was stare.

            The screams grew louder. He could practically _hear_ the life draining from the newly attacked victims. They were royally fucked – they couldn’t get out of these cells, but the zephroes could easily get in. There was no escape. There was-

            “Babe.”

            Caleb’s breath ghosted across his ear, leaving him shivering somewhat. Alec swallowed thickly and shot a glance toward him. The blonde’s hand rested on his shoulder.

            “Calm down – and don’t make a sound.”

            Alec found himself nodding – there was a seriousness in the blonde’s voice which had never been there before, and he couldn’t bring himself to argue. Then again, why waste his last breaths screaming, or panicking? Like the others were. Why waste his air? He was going to die.

            He was going to die.

            They were all going to _die_.

            There was no escape.

            “Let us out of here!” came a frantic cry from one of the cells.

            “Oh God!”

            “ _No!_ ”

            “ _Help us!”_

            “No – No, get away! Ahhh!”

            “ _Someone help_!”

            More vicious, hungry snarls. The scent of blood was now thick in the air, and with every breath he could smell it all around him. Death. Chaos. _The end._

            _Was this how it felt for you, Si?_ he couldn’t help but wonder. _After you were bitten? Did you simply count your breaths?_

            Hands tight on him. One on his shoulder, the other on his own hand, gripping, squeezing, clutching…

            “Not a sound,” Caleb whispered quietly. Alec almost couldn’t hear him. It wasn’t so much he heard him but that he felt it with the way the words were breathed into his ear, somehow drowning out the terrified screams, if only momentarily. The hand around his own tightened, almost bruising in the crushing hold, and Alec tore his gaze away from the bars – and the inevitable force which would break them down and leave them both to die – and toward the blonde’s calm face.

            _How the fuck is he calm?_

            Caleb smiled faintly at him, but there was nothing serene or happy about it, despite the look his face held. “Do as I say.”

            “What-”

            The grip on his hand tightened again and he snapped his mouth shut, wondering why he was even bothering with this. None of this mattered. Saving breaths was one thing, but what if he wanted to talk during his last few minutes on Earth? What if he wanted a distraction of some kind, instead of sitting in the back of his cell, simply waiting for the inevitable?

            _Eight years of hell…and this is how it ends. Well, fuck you too, Life._

            Movement caught his attention, as did the dispersing sound of the screams. Their cell was located toward the end of the hallway, most of the other prisoners far ahead of them. Most were now dead. Others still screamed.

            Alec stayed silent.

            Zephroes roamed in front of their cell, and Alec’s eyes locked onto it. This was it. It was time. They would die now, just like everyone else. He only hoped death would be swift and relatively painless, but these were mutations he was talking about. Nothing about them was painless.

            Caleb got to his feet, his hand falling away from Alec’s, leaving Alec staring up at him. Caleb put a finger to his lips in the universal ‘shut up’ sign, and quietly edged his way toward the cell bars. As he did so, screams echoed around them. The zephroes before them had yet to notice them, it seemed, as they were focusing primarily on the people in the cell directly across from theirs. The man in the cell was at the back of it, growling and cursing and screaming, when the zephroes broke in.

            A minute later, his gurgling screams died away, and his sightless eyes landed on Alec.

            Alec jumped to his feet and shook his head.

            _No. I won’t die like that. No. Fuck. No._

            He’d come this far – eight years of this shit, and this was how it was going to end? All because he was a prisoner, trapped like bait for those stupid humans? No. Fuck that. That was ridiculous. This couldn’t be how everything ended!

            _I don’t even have my knife…_

            He didn’t have his knife. None of them had _any_ weapons. They were completely defenseless, and there were five zephroes.

            Killing everyone. One by one.

            Caleb moved toward the bars. A part of Alec wanted to snag his arm, yank him back, because was he fucking _crazy_?

            Instead, he stayed where he was and watched as Caleb wrapped his fingers around the bars and shook them, releasing a growl as he did so. The zephro directly in front of the cell spun to face him, inhuman eyes landing on him almost immediately. While one zephro stayed in the cell across from theirs, and the others continued down the line, this zephro sliced easily through the bars and entered the cell, circling Caleb, who walked around it, eyes never leaving it.

            He stepped forward – to do _what_ , he didn’t know, because he didn’t have a weapon – and frowned when Caleb shot him an angry glare which clearly said ‘don’t move’. He remembered the blonde’s words from earlier, but they made no sense. Keeping quiet was entirely useless now, because there was already a zephro in the cell. The end was coming. Silence and a lack of movement would not help in the _slightest_.

            Claws swiped at the blonde. He watched as Caleb sidestepped it, narrowly avoiding getting hit, and snapped his gaze back toward Alec.

            “Run,” he breathed, quickly jerking his head toward the opening the zephro created to enter the cell. Then he dove to the side as the zephro came at him again, and Alec stared because he was slowly realizing…

            Realizing what Caleb meant…

            What was happening…

            _Run,_ a part of his mind said. _This is your chance, Alec. You won’t get another one. Run while they’re killing everyone else, and you can live. You’ll be fine._

But Caleb…

            “You fucking _idiot_ ,” he breathed, glaring at the blonde as he stomped toward him and the zephro, desire to live be damned. “I’m not fucking _leaving you behind_!”

            “This is your out!”

            “Fuck you!”

            The zephro snarled and rounded on Alec too quickly for him to think. Maybe he was too distracted, or too wound up, or simply out of practice because he’d been kept in these cells for so long, but for whatever reason, he knew he couldn’t dodge. He snapped his eyes closed even as he attempted to sidestep the oncoming attack, but he knew it was futile even before his body moved.

            There was a growl and no pain. Alec snapped his eyes open to find Caleb standing in front of him, panting somewhat, staring toward the right, where the zephro stood growling at them.

            “Run,” Caleb said again.

            Alec growled. More screams penetrated his ears – death, dying, gasping, pain-

            He grabbed Caleb’s arm and all but dragged him out of the cell, into the bloody hallway, and toward the exit. Behind them raged the zephroes, ripping open the last of the cells and-

            “Stop,” Caleb hissed, yanking away from him. Alec spun toward him as the blonde darted into a cell. Blood coated the ground, thick and red, metallic and heavy. Two bodies lay on the floor, and Caleb crashed to his knees next to one, pressing hands against the person’s side. Blood coated his fingers. “She’s still alive!”

            “Caleb, we have to go,” Alec said, because the zephroes wouldn’t be distracted for very long.

            “We can’t just leave her.”

            “Well we can’t stay here! Come _on_!” Alec grabbed his shoulder, yanking him to his feet. Caleb growled and shoved away from him.

            “Get out of here, Alec. This is my job.”

            “Not, it’s _not_ ,” Alec spat, glancing at the door, but thus far it remained empty. He could hear screams and snarls still, but they were still down at the end of the hallway, occupied. They wouldn’t be like that for long, though. “Caleb, we have to-”

            “Then _go_ ,” Caleb said, hands pressing hard against the wound on the woman’s side, but Alec didn’t need to be a doctor to know it was a lost cause. She’d already lost far too much blood. She wasn’t conscious. Her face was pale and slack and her chest barely moved when she breathed.

            Surely Caleb saw this too, though.

            “There’s nothing we can do,” Alec said. “Now come _on_.”

            With a gasp, the woman went completely and utterly still, and Caleb stared down at her. His hands slowly lifted from the wound, no longer seeping blood, and he turned to face Alec. Alec found he did not like the expression he found on his friend’s – friend? They were friends, right? They kind of had to be after all this shit – face.

            “She’s gone,” Caleb murmured quietly.

            “I know – sorry, but we have to _go_ , like, _now_ ,” Alec said, grabbing at the back of Caleb’s shirt until the blonde rose to his feet, giving into a stiff nod. Alec nodded and raced out of the room, listening as Caleb’s footsteps followed after him.

            In the background, he heard the last of the screams, and vicious, hungry snarls.

 

 

“This way.”

            Alec followed silently as Caleb led the way through the halls of the building. He was pretty sure they didn’t have much time, but Caleb insisted they needed to go find something before they left, despite how dire the situation seemed. Thus far, he had yet to see any of their captors. Although, they had come across copious amounts of blood, and even a body or two. Apparently they were attacked as well. He and Caleb might very well be the only ones left here.

            He wasn’t even sure how they were still alive.

            They should have been dead, in all truth. But they weren’t. He couldn’t think about it right now, though, because at the moment, his heart raced with the need to _get the hell out of there_. It was a little hard to do with Caleb leading him in random directions.

            “Where are we going?” he asked for the third time.

            Caleb shot him an irritated glance and then stopped, a grin spreading across his face. “Here,” he said, and then kicked the door open. It surprised Alec because to look at Caleb, it didn’t quite seem like he had it in him. Especially after the malnutrition and harsh conditions they’d faced lately.

            They pushed their way into the room. Caleb instantly went to a filing cabinet off to the side, mostly hidden in shadows, for the most part covered in dust. He pried open a few of the drawers and then snapped them shut with a sigh, before he got to the fourth drawer. From there he pulled out-

            “My knife!” Alec said somewhat breathlessly as he snatched it out of Caleb’s hands. He scanned it over, flipping it this way and that in his grip, but yes, it was _his knife_. His. The one Silas gave him on his fifteenth birthday. The one he killed his best friend with… “How did you find this?”

            “It seemed important to you,” Caleb said, shrugging as he looked back into the drawer. He pulled out his AK and grinned, pocketing extra ammo clips. “They took my fucking strap? Damn it. Anyway, when I was patching this guy up last week, it was in this room, and I noticed the weapons. Figured your knife might be there, or at the very least, something to help us.”

            “Thank you,” Alec said, swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at his blade. For a while, he wasn’t sure he’d actually get it back. He thought it might be lost to him forever, but now here it was, held firmly in his hand as though it had never left. The weight of it was familiar and comforting, in a way.

            “Now let’s get out of here,” Caleb said, moving toward the doorway. He peered into the hallway and then gestured for Alec to follow him.

            Quietly, they edged down the hallway and out of the building without incident, thankfully. Alec could still hear the growls echoing through the halls, but the screams had stopped. He tried not to think about it.

            It was just as they were exiting the jail yard – and Alec took great care to _not_ look at the bodies lining the ground – that the zephroes caught up with them.


	9. Chapter Nine: Trying

Chapter Nine: Trying

 

 

There was little warning.

            The growl didn’t sound until the footsteps alerted them to the presence of the mutations. By then, Alec had already hit the ground, the snarling body of a zeprho crushing him into the dirt, jaws snapping at his throat. It took all he had to bring his hands up and wrap them around the zephro’s neck, pushing, shoving it away from his face and vulnerable flesh. Claws sank into his shoulders, holding him in place, and a gasp managed to escape his mouth before he could stop himself.

            There was a shot and the zephro’s head exploded above him, covering him with blood. Swallowed, he jumped to his feet and spun to find Caleb lowering his AK. The blonde jerked his head to the side, and Alec nodded, darting in that direction. Caleb’s footsteps ran behind him, and he could see the exit to the jail yard. The fence was broken, easily slashed through, probably when the zephroes first attacked. Usually their captors walked the length of the fence a few times every few hours, just in case something approached. Maybe that was what the bait was for, the human bait, but Alec didn’t want to think about that right now.

            Instead, he ran. Snarls and grounds echoed behind him. The AK fired rapidly, allowing them some breathing room, but it wouldn’t – couldn’t – last.

            Alec made it out of the gate and rounded the corner, willing his feet to move faster, adrenaline pumping through him as he brought a hand up to wipe the blood and bits of zephro brain off his face. The AK fired again and again, but it was starting to sound further away.

            Quickly, he stopped and spun around, but Caleb wasn’t behind him. Growling to himself, he trudged back the way he came, rounded the corner, and found the blonde standing just inside the jail yard, back to Alec as he fired at the approaching zephroes. The gun clicked and Caleb cursed, fishing for an ammo clip. Meanwhile, the two remaining zephroes lunged at him.

            “Caleb!” Alec hissed, darting forward though he wasn’t sure why. Every survival instinct he had urged him to run, because this was his chance to get away. This was his chance to survive, while they were distracted with Caleb. Now was his chance.

            Except he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He fought down those instincts and stopped next to Caleb, his knife withdrawn and ready to slice through anything that got too close, even though a part of him whispered this was a horrible idea. He was good with a blade, but there were two zephroes and they were coming fast. Their limbs were longer and had a better reach than Alec did with his knife.

            He slashed at the claws that came his way, managing to cut the zephro along the arm. The zephro snarled and spun, moving sideways to get a better vantage point. Meanwhile, Caleb swung with his gun, using it as a melee weapon, crashing it against the other zephro’s skull.

            Pain sparked across Alec’s shoulder as the zephro lunged forward and managed to get a good swipe in. The force behind it left him staggering to the side, slamming into Caleb, who in turn staggered as well, caught off guard. The two collapsed to the ground and the two zephroes surrounded them, walking around them like the hungry, angry predators they were.

            Alec clutched his knife tightly, rolling away from Caleb as he jumped to his feet. The blonde was a little slower, yanking the AK-47 off the ground. Green eyes glared at him. “Run,” Caleb said, jerking his head in the direction of the opening in the fence.

            Alec growled and shook his head, irritated at how the blonde kept telling him to run. Instead of replying, he ignored the blonde and slashed at one of the zephroes when they strayed too close. Caleb fired at the other zephro who came toward them on the other side. The body hit the ground and then continued to crawl toward them, angry snarls darting from its mouth.

            Alec’s muscles were getting sore. It was getting hard to move his arm, what with the claw marks and scratches on his shoulders. If this didn’t end soon, he wasn’t sure what would happen. His grip on the blade was becoming weak, slippery with the mutated blood, and his own blood which ran down his arm and over his hand. Exhaustion began to creep into his bones.

            The AK’s _tatta-tatta-tatta_ echoed around them and the crawling zephro stopped moving. The other one decided to change targets, and spun around Alec even as he slashed out with his blade. Instead of hitting him, the blonde was knocked to the ground and blood sprayed into the air as a strangled cry escaped his lips. Alec growled and darted toward him, stabbing into the zephro’s back and dragging the blade upward in a jagged, uneven swipe which left the mutation howling as it leapt off Caleb and spun toward him. Claws slashed at his face and he barely managed to step back in time. Hungry eyes latched onto him, even though the mutations didn’t necessarily eat their victims – at least, not all the time. They just liked the blood. Like vampires, in a way. At least that was how the zephroes were, and Alec would know, as he’d studied the hell out of them when they’d taken his family away from him. He knew less about neutrohales.

            This zephro was angry and wild. Pain did that to them. If they weren’t killed with the initial blow, they became more chaotic and more dangerous. It lunged at him with a speed he didn’t see coming, and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground, pinned on his back, and jaws gaped open wide before snapping downward, at his throat.

            There was nothing he could do. He was going to _die_ and-

            _Tatta-tatta-tatta!_

            The zephro keeled over and fell off him, and Alec sucked in a ragged breath as he stared up at the gloomy sky, fingers clawing at the dirt beneath him. Once he felt steady enough, he forced himself to sit up. He scrubbed a hand over his face and glanced at Caleb.

            His eyes widened.

            “Caleb!” He jumped to his feet and in an instant was at the blonde’s side as the AK fell from Caleb’s grasp and dropped into the dirt. The bloody dirt. “Shit, shit, shit…how bad is it?”

            Green eyes blinked at him slowly. Sluggishly. Unfocused.

            “Caleb?” His hands skimmed over the blonde’s chest and sides, but with all the blood, it was hard to tell where it was all coming from. Carefully, he lifted the blonde’s shirt and grimaced at the long, jagged claw marks which ran from his chest, down to his stomach, and then over to his side in a dangerous swipe. “Fuck. Okay. Shit. Caleb? Talk to me.”

            More sluggish blinks. “ ‘m tired.”

            “I know,” Alec found himself whispering. “I know. But, no. No sleeping. How do I fix this?”

            “ ‘m gonna…sleep…n-now…”

            “No,” Alec growled, jabbing fingers into the blonde’s shoulder. “Stay the fuck awake, do you hear me? Tell me how to fix this!”

            “Can’t.”

            “I can. Damn it, I can,” Alec said, shaking his head, a lump in his throat though he wasn’t sure why. So much blood. His fault. The attack came from his side, the side he should have been guarding, from the zephro he should have taken out.

An unknown, icy sensation began to pour through his veins, leaving his heart racing pathetically. He pressed his hands to what looked like the worst of the long, jagged wound, but even he knew there was little he could do. That would never stop him from trying. The blonde’s eyes slipped closed and Alec glared at the pale, waxy face.

“Look at me. Hey – I said look at me!”

“ ‘s…okay…”

“No, it’s _not_ okay. Not yet. Tell me how to fix this. Caleb!”

_He’s dying. He’s going to die. He’ll be dead. Like the others. Because of me. Dying. Stop it, stop it, gotta stop it._

But he had no idea what to do. Stop the bleeding, but it was too much for him alone. He needed help.

“You saved me,” he whispered, swallowing.

One pale green eye twitched open. “S-Someone…has to k-eep an…e-eye out f-for…you…”

Alec smiled faintly. “Then I’ll guess you’ll have to stay around and keep doing it, huh? Tell me what to do. Do you have medical supplies?”

Caleb’s head rolled to the side, then to the other in a slow ‘no’.

“Damn it. Okay. Do you know where one is?”

“Inside…somewhere…”

“Where?”

A breathy sigh. “Dunno…”

“Damn it. Okay. Fuck. Can I trust you to stay awake while I go in and get it?”

Now both eyes opened and blinked at him. “You…s-should run…”

“I will – straight to a med kit. So?”

“L-Leave me.”

“Fuck you,” Alec snapped. “Why do you keep telling me to run? Do you think I’m _that_ heartless? Now, stay the fuck awake while I get that kit, okay?”

Dying. His friend was dying. _Friend_.

Caleb watched him for a long moment, and Alec swallowed thickly, feeling oddly unsteady inside. “Can’t…s-save everyone…”

Alec snapped his mouth shut before the growl could escape. “Well, I’m gonna try. So…” He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, before opening them again. “Stay awake and I’ll be back in a few minutes – okay? And keep pressure on that wound.” With a sigh, he pulled his shirt off and held it over the spilling blood. “Hold that there.”

He wasn’t sure how much good it would do, but it was all he had the moment.

Caleb stared at him before he sighed and gave into a jerky nod. “O-kay. But t-take…this…”

His fingers twitched, brushing over the grip of the AK. Alec shook his head.

“I’m a horrible shot,” he admitted. “And you’re the one being left alone – pretty sure you need it more. Just…stay awake.”

That was important.

“Careful…”

Alec offered a quick smile as he got to his feet. “Keep pressure on that,” he said, gesturing at the shirt, and then turned on his heel, darting back in the direction of the jail building.

_I won’t let you die._

 

 

Caleb blinked up at the cloudy, gray sky, feeling more than a little dizzy. Everything hurt. His head ached, his side, chest and stomach throbbed, and he was pretty sure that was blood in his mouth, bubbling in his throat. And he wasn’t sure, but he thought it was getting a little hard to breathe.

He gripped the shirt with one hand and the AK with the other, but his fingers were beginning to go numb. He couldn’t quite feel his legs.

_I’m dying. Holy shit._

His body was pretty good at healing, and he had a great immune system, but there was little he could do about the blood loss. He was human – a lack of blood was always problematic.

_At least Alec’s okay._

That was a small comfort. Alec was an idiot and went back inside. There could have been more zephroes roaming around. Or what if some of their captor’s survived and he was captured again? It was a stupid risk. And for what? A med kit and a possible chance at helping Caleb?

For a guy who previously wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, he could be pretty damn stubborn.

A faint smile twitched to life on his face, but it was short-lived. Dark spots flashed across his eyes and it was getting harder and harder to blink them open. If Alec didn’t hurry, he was pretty sure consciousness would be a lost battle.

But he’d try – because Alec asked. No, _demanded_. Demanded that he stayed awake.

He’d try for as long as he could.

_Better hurry, babe. Gettin’ pretty tired._

 

 

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” Alec muttered to himself as he quickly searched through a few rooms. Thus far he’d found nothing useful, although he did find an empty duffel bag. He figured he’d take it and see if there were other things he found that they could use, but so far, he carried around an empty bag.

_C’mon. Damn it, I don’t have time for this._

And he didn’t. _Caleb_ didn’t have time. Despite their rough meeting, he’d grown used to the blonde’s presence in the past few months they’d been here. It became normal, somehow. A part of him would even admit he liked it – liked the conversations; liked the way Caleb’s fingers ran through his hair when he was hurt or having a nightmare; liked the way Caleb’s chest rose and fell when he slept, a warm pillow beneath Alec’s ear…

And, damn it, he didn’t want it to end. At least not yet. Not because of him. Not when he could stop this.

The next room he searched left him with a few pairs of clothes, which he stuffed inside the bag and continued onward. He found a few more weapons, which he stuffed inside as well. A few ammo clips. A pistol. A knife. But no bandaging – nothing that could help Caleb.

With a growl, Alec stomped out of the room, down the hallway and into yet another room. He raided the drawers and smiled when he came across a few wads of bandaging.

_Success!_

He stuffed those inside and continued looking around the room with a renewed frenzy. He found a small bottle of antiseptic cream, some towels, and even a small flask of alcohol. No actual health kit, though. No first aid kit.

He left that room and entered another, trying to keep track of the passing time in his head.

_I haven’t been gone that long – just a few minutes. He’s okay. I have time._

He had a little time, but not a lot, and he needed to hurry. Anxiousness seeped through him, leaving him running from one room to the next, searching for supplies.

When he was about to give up, that was when he finally came across it – a white box with a red medical sign on the top of it, stuffed under a few empty boxes in a drawer. He lifted it and breathed a sigh of relief before he darted from the room and quickly made it out of the jail. He jogged toward the fence line and dropped to his knees next to Caleb.

Caleb blinked up at him. “Find…anything?”

Alec grinned. “I totally did. Right now I’m going to bandage you, to stop the bleeding, and then we’re going to move and I can fix you up later, okay?”

He hoped that made sense. He hoped it would work.

Caleb grimaced and nodded. Alec pulled the shirt away and then helped Caleb struggle out of his own shirt, which wound up being quite a chore. The blonde collapsed back to the ground with a heavy sigh and faint groan as Alec tossed that ruined bit of clothing aside. He dug through the duffel and pulled out a thing of bandaging, which he unwound and moved toward Caleb.

“I need you to sit up,” he said regretfully. “I know it hurts, but…”

“I know,” Caleb grunted.

Alec helped him sit up, leaning him against the fence. Then he wound the bandaging around Caleb’s chest, stomach and side, smoothing it out afterward. Blood slowly started to soak through. It was only a temporary solution, and all they had time for right now. The gunfire could potentially bring more zephroes along, as could the scent of Caleb’s blood.

There was nothing left for them here, and it wasn’t safe. They had to get away.

“Think you can walk?” he asked.

Caleb shot him a look. “Don’t…think I h-ave…a choice,” he muttered, and Alec nodded.

“I’ll help you,” he offered, grabbing the blonde’s arm. He helped him to his feet and drew one arm around his shoulders, leaning Caleb against him and into him.

“You’re hurt…”

“I’m fine,” Alec said. He’d actually forgotten about his wounds there for a moment, but now that the adrenaline and _where the fuck is a med kit when I need one_ wore off, the pain decided to make itself known. “Deal with it later. You with me?”

He was starting to drag toward the ground.

“Mm…for now,” Caleb said.

Alec nodded.

That was going to have to be good enough for now.

 

 

They didn’t go very far – they couldn’t, not with Caleb pretty much unable to walk or hold his weight at all. Alec didn’t blame him, but that didn’t mean he had to like this situation.

They made it into a building. It looked decent enough, where they stopped. No windows, so no surprise attacks through there, and two doors. One of the doors led into the room from the hallway and the other led toward the stairs, to go up higher. For now, Alec assumed they’d be okay. He barricaded the doors with what he found in the room – dusty furniture, a forgotten bookcase, an old TV – and tried to dust off the couch enough for Caleb to rest on it.

Caleb collapsed into the cushions with a tired groan and closed his eyes, facial muscles beginning to go slack.

“Hey, none of that,” Alec said, lightly tapping Caleb on the cheek. “You’re doing great so far, keep it up. Stay awake.” He fished through the duffel for the med kit and lifted it triumphantly. “What do I do first?”

“What’s…in there?”

Alec pried the kit open and shrugged. “Needles, thread, band aids…what’s usually in these things.”

“Jus’…clean the wound, find…some wads of…gauze…and bandage…it a-again…”

Alec nodded and pulled out what he would need. Then he looked at the dull green eyes, feeling a catch in his chest at the sight as his memory quickly flashed glassy brown eyes at him. Quickly, he shook the image away. “This is gonna hurt.”

“Mm. Get it…over with…”

Alec picked up his knife and started cutting the bandaging off Caleb. “You can claw the hell out of my arm if you want,” he said, echoing Caleb’s earlier words from Caleb’s basement. Months ago. Fucking _months_. So much had happened…

Caleb blinked at him. “You…d-on’t have to…do this…”

“I do.”

“No…”

“I do,” Alec repeated, glaring at him. “You’re my friend, okay? I’m not letting you bleed out on a dusty old couch.”

Caleb blinked again. “Friend, huh?” A faint smile twitched across his face before it dispersed. “O-kay, babe…go ahead…”

Alec nodded, the movement a little tighter than he would have liked, and then got to work.


	10. Chapter Ten: Secrets Between Friends

Chapter Ten: Secrets Between Friends

 

 

_“Alec, please.”_

_“No.”_

_“Please, ‘lec. For me.”_

_A downward jab. Harsh, quick, ruthless. Deadly._

_Ghost of a grin, then silence._

_A hauntingly eternal silence._

_“Why did you kill me, Alec? Why do you hate me?”_

_“No, Si…I don’t hate you. I didn’t want to do it!”_

_“You killed me. I thought we were friends?”_

_“Silas, please…”_

_Angry brown eyes. Glassy, unclear. Unfocused. Fading._

_Fevered skin. Sweat-drenched brow. Harsh coughs, tremors, pain._

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

“Alec?”

_So sorry._

“Babe?”

 _Didn’t mean to. Didn’t_ want _to. Anything but that._

“Babe, hey?”

_Warm hands on his face, fingers through his hair. Gentle voice, calling to him through the surrounding darkness. Safe. Warm._

“Alec, c’mon, babe. Wake up.”

Alec’s eyes snapped open and he found himself laying on the ground, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. That didn’t used to be anything new, but since he’d been in the cells for the past few months, that had become normal. This was somewhere else, and even though he knew he was out of the cells, he had this momentary bout of panic, before a warm hand settled on his shoulder. He slid his gaze toward Caleb.

“I thought you were done with these nightmares, babe,” Caleb said, brow crinkled somewhat, either in worry or pain, Alec wasn’t sure.

He shrugged. “How are you?” He sat up and watched as Caleb shifted sideways from where he sat on the couch, hovering over him.

A grimace crossed the blonde’s face. “Been better,” he said. “But I’ll live.”

“No infection?” Nothing about the cells were sanitary, after all, and he’d shoved his shirt into the wound, again. His dirty shirt, and had Caleb rest on the dirty ground and then an old, dusty couch. He’d tried to clean it off as best he could, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t dirty or disease-ridden.

Caleb shook his head. “Sore, but no, think I’m good.” A pause. “Thanks. For patching me up.”

“You did the same for me, once,” Alec said, smirking at him.

Caleb shrugged and then winced, pressing a hand to his side. “Doesn’t mean you have to help me, babe. But I appreciate it.”

Alec frowned. “That’s not why I did it.”

“Yeah, well…thanks, anyway.” A small pause. “Did you fix your shoulders?”

Alec sighed. “I tried, but, you know, my arms kind of locked up on me after…” He trailed off, gesturing at Caleb’s bandaging. Caleb sighed and nodded.

“I’ll fix it,” Caleb said. “Come here.”

After a brief moment of hesitation, Alec nodded and grabbed the med kit before he slid onto the couch next to Caleb, facing him as he sat cross-legged. Caleb opened the med kit and pulled out a few things before facing Alec.

“Shirt, babe.”

Alec sighed and carefully pulled off his shirt. After he’d helped Caleb last night, he’d pulled on a clean shirt from the bag, even though it was a little big on him. At least it was clean, and was better than nothing. Now he tossed it aside and let Caleb run his hands over the scratches.

A frown crossed the blonde’s face. “You’ve got a bit of an infection, babe. I can clean it up, though. Gonna be pretty sore for a while, though. I must advise against movement.”

“I’ll try.”

Caleb nodded and got to work on cleaning and bandaging his shoulders.

 

 

“Are you sure about this?” Alec couldn’t help but ask for the fifth time since leaving the old building. It was midday, the sun high in the clear sky, the perfect day for traveling, but it had only been two days since Caleb had been seriously wounded.

Caleb shot him a look. “You said it yourself, we can’t stay here. It’s not safe. So, yeah, I’m sure about this.”

Alec sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he cared. Maybe because some part of his mind actually dared to classify Caleb as _friend_ , even though he hadn’t used that word to describe someone in years. Six of them, in fact. He figured he didn’t get another friend after killing his last one.

But somehow, Caleb squirmed into his life unannounced and unwanted. Despite Alec’s original arguments, he was used to having the guy around now. If it were to suddenly change, he’d feel oddly out of place, even though he used to like traveling alone. It always seemed easier that way. He didn’t trust people – and he figured he had a good reason not to, since he was captured and thrown in a cell, left to die like the others. The only reason he was alive right now was…

He frowned and watched the blonde as they walked. “Hey, how did you know to stay quiet when the…when the zephroes were in the cells?” he asked quietly. Caleb frowned and shrugged slowly, before wincing and rubbing a hand against his side. The bulge of bandaging was barely noticeable beneath his gray shirt.

“Just figured it couldn’t hurt,” Caleb said finally. “Everyone else was screaming, so that’s what they were listening for. Caught them off guard by staying silent.”

Alec nodded slowly. He guessed that made sense, but… “But how did you know to do that?”

He remembered what happened. He remembered how Caleb had been.

“How were you so calm?”

“I wasn’t calm,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “I just figured I should at least act like I knew what I was doing. Worked, huh?” He tossed him a quick grin and then quickened his pace, leaving Alec behind. Sighing, he jogged and caught up with him.

“But how-” he started again, only to have Caleb stop and turn to face him, so suddenly it left him snapping his mouth shut. Gone was the easy smile, replaced with a cold stare which left Alec reeling.

“Look, you’ve got your secrets, and I’ve got mine,” he said somewhat sharply, green eyes narrowed into small, icy slits as they scanned over Alec’s face, staring into Alec’s own hazel eyes, leaving him unable to look away. “I think it’s better if we keep it that way, but if you really want to know, I’ll tell you after you tell me what the hell those nightmares are about.”

Alec flinched and shifted his gaze away as though physically assaulted, the breath forced from his lungs. An old, dull ache in his chest reminded him of that moment, the moment six years ago when everything he had left ended. When he killed Silas, his last friend, the last link to a better time, a better life, and happiness. Back when things were _okay_. Killed him with the very knife his friend got him for his birthday.

He felt Caleb’s eyes on him but kept his own gaze firmly set on the ground, shoulders tense, hands clenching and un-clenching at his sides.

“You can’t,” Caleb said quietly. “And that’s okay. I don’t expect you to. We both have secrets. It’s best if it’s just kept that way.” A pause. “So, are you coming or not, babe?”

Taking in a slow breath, Alec raised his gaze and found Caleb watching him with a faint, apologetic smile. Gone was the icy stare, the cold twist of his lips, the untrusting crease in his brow. Alec wondered, briefly, if it had actually ever been there, or if he’d simply imagined it. None of those things seemed like Caleb, and yet he’d seen it.

Sighing, he nodded. “Yeah…we should…keep moving.”

Caleb’s hand landed gently on his shoulder, just a light weight simply patting. The movement stopped quickly enough, and the blonde started walking again.

After a brief pause, Alec followed after him.

 

 

They stopped a few hours later, when the sky darkened and heavy clouds rolled by, thunder clapping in the distance. They sought shelter in an old store, hiding out in the pantry. To Alec’s surprise, he found canned food items still there, even after all this time. He was so hungry he’d eat anything at the moment. He stabbed a can of peaches open with his knife and handed it to Caleb, who accepted it with a quiet nod as he collapsed to the ground, back against the wall. Alec opened another can and down the contents in a few swallows, grimacing at the taste of the hot juice, but otherwise it was okay. Better than nothing, at any rate.

“How’s your side and everything?” Alec asked as he sat down next to Caleb, dropping the duffel to the ground between them. His arms and shoulders ached even though he hadn’t done much except carry the bag, and he could only imagine how Caleb felt.

“It’s fine,” Caleb said. “Had worse. Just sore. How’s your shoulders?”

“Sore,” Alec said as he put the empty can aside and leaned against the wall, sighing. “Think it’s safe here?”

He wasn’t sure why he was asking. He’d never had to ask before. He just decided where he was going to stay when he felt like stopping, and that was where he stayed. Then again, that hadn’t worked out so well after he met Caleb. The first time he met the guy, Caleb had to save him from his own stupidity.

“Safe enough,” Caleb replied as he put his can aside as well. “We’ll leave tomorrow though. Find somewhere better.” A pause, and Alec felt his companion’s gaze on him. He looked over to find Caleb watching him. “Unless you want to split up. Your wounds should be okay, if you keep an eye on them.”

Alec frowned. “Do you want to split up?”

“I’m just asking because you’re the one who had trouble traveling with me in the first place,” Caleb said.

Alec sighed and nodded. “Yeah, well…things change. I don’t think we should split up just yet – at least not until we’re both healed.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Caleb said with a smile. Alec nodded and smiled back.

He didn’t notice Caleb’s grip on his knife until the blonde raised it into the air, inspecting it, turning it this way and that. Alec’s fingers twitched, aching to reach out and grab it, but he let him look it over.

“So what’s the story behind this knife?” Caleb asked, handing it back to him. “Seems important to you.”

Alec swallowed the lump suddenly in his throat as he gripped the blade tightly. “Yeah, well…my friend gave it to me before he died.”

“Oh.”

A pause.

“Sorry,” Caleb said.

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt.”

Alec nodded. “Yeah…I guess.” He paused and cleared his throat. “So…how’d you get your AK?”

“This thing?” Caleb’s fingers trailed over the butt of the gun, and Alec nodded. “Nothing special, really. Took it off a dead guy, decided I needed to learn to shoot. Had it ever since.”

“Oh.”

“Yup. Nothing special, just a gun.”

“What made you want to learn to shoot?”

“I’m not very good with knives,” Caleb admitted with a faint grin. “Adam always said I was a lost cause with them, but tried his best to teach me. Soon learned I was a little better with guns.”

“Who’s Adam?” Alec couldn’t help but ask.

The smirk died away. “My cousin. After he died, I figured I needed to be able to look after myself, so I started really practicing. Still suck with a knife – at least in combat – but I’m a pretty good shot, if I try.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s fine – it was a long time ago.”

“If you don’t mind…how did he die?” Alec asked, unsure as to why he was asking, because it was highly unlikely Caleb rammed his cousin through with a knife, saving him from the long death by replacing it with a short one. Alec was the only one who could ever think about killing his only companion.

Caleb sighed and closed his eyes. “We were attacked. He got hit and bled out. I’m supposed to be the medic here, right?” He scoffed. “I couldn’t do anything. Gut shot, you know. Slow death, but inevitable. Painful. I tried to help him, but, well…can’t save everyone, you know?”

Alec nodded, sighing. “Yeah…I know what you mean.” All too well, he knew.

“But oh well, I guess it’s how it was meant to be,” Caleb continued, opening his eyes, offering a faint smile which Alec couldn’t help but return. “What about you? How’d your…friend die, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Alec’s breath caught in his throat.

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

“I…”

“ _For me.”_

He snapped his eyes closed. “I’m tired. See you in the morning,” he said as he turned his back to Caleb and lay down on the ground, curling in on himself.

If Caleb had anything to say about it, Alec didn’t hear it.

 

 

The _tatta-tatta-tatta_ of the AK woke Alec from a relatively deep sleep. He opened his eyes and sat up, looking around the small room, only to find himself alone, the duffel still next to him. Except he found a shirt had been folded under his head in a makeshift pillow. Only one person could have done such a thing.

“Caleb?” he asked as he got to his feet, easing his way out of the pantry, gripping his knife tightly.

_Tatta-tatta-tatta!_

He followed the sound out of the building and found Caleb aiming his gun at yet another zephro, two dead nearby. Three more approached with angry snarls, rounding a corner.

_Tatta-tatta-tatta!_

_Click-click-click…_

Caleb growled and fished in his pocket for another ammo clip as the remaining zephroes approached. A zephro lunged at him and Caleb swung the gun like a bat, cracking it against the mutation’s head, shoving it back where it lost its balance and rolled on the ground, giving the blonde time to reload.

_Tatta-tatta-tatta!_

The zephro went motionless and the remaining one approached, four now dead on the ground. Thus far, no one had noticed Alec, and he watched from the sidelines, momentarily transfixed at the ease with which Caleb took them down, especially when he was already wounded. What was he even doing outside, anyway?

The last zephro seemed to catch onto Caleb’s strategy, as it somehow managed to dodge the next shots fired from the gun, snarling as it took a leap and knocked into Caleb, causing the two to go rolling on the ground. Alec opened his mouth to call out to his friend, but stopped when Caleb managed to kick the zephro off him. The blonde then spun, grabbed his gun, and jumped to his feet in one fluid motion, as graceful as a cat despite his injuries, a wicked grin lighting up his face as he rapidly fired the gun, taking the zephro’s head off its shoulders, causing it to collapse into a motionless heap with its dead brethren.

Caleb lowered the gun easily, looking over the bodies before he nodded to himself, satisfied, and turned to head back into the small store. That was when he finally took notice of Alec there, in the doorway, watching him. For a long moment, the two simply stared at each other, Alec in awe and Caleb in shock, before the blonde smiled and approached him.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted. “Sleep well?”

“What the hell was that?” Alec asked, staring. “You just…and…but you’re hurt…and…how did you do that!”

“I told you – I practiced a lot, and I’m a pretty good shot,” Caleb said with a smirk, combing a hand through his disheveled hair. He hadn’t even broken a damn sweat! How was that possible?

“How did you just…? Caleb, you took out five of them on your _own_.”

“Yeah, well…they were pretty easy shots. Came in a line. Practically asked for it,” the blonde said with a small shrug.

“Are you sore?” Alec asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“Fuck, yeah, but I’m okay,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “I’m fine. They’re dead. Let’s just…move on.”

Alec glared at him for a long moment before he finally sighed and nodded. He’d chalk it up to the mystery that was _Caleb_ for now, but soon, he wanted answers. There was only so much the blonde could hide, and he was definitely hiding _something_.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Where do you think we should go?”

“Let’s head south,” Caleb suggested.

Alec nodded. “Sure. Why not?”


	11. Chapter Eleven: The Normal Chaos

Chapter Eleven: The Normal Chaos

 

 

Days passed slowly, mostly without any action. Occasionally they ran into a zephro or two, but Caleb easily handled it. Alec wanted to ask him about it, but decided not to for the time being. Caleb was right – they both had their secrets, and Alec wasn’t ready to share his yet. He wasn’t sure if he’d _ever_ be ready, because he’d never told another person about what he did to Silas. In six years, he’d never breathed a word of it to anyone. Then again, no one ever asked. No one ever got _close enough_ to ask.

As much as he wanted to know what Caleb was hiding, he wasn’t willing to talk about his own secrets just yet, and therefore figured it was ridiculous to think about asking Caleb to share his. For now, he would simply wonder about the mystery surrounding his new friend, and try and figure it out on his own.

Caleb’s wounds healed rather quickly. They didn’t get infected, and they didn’t seem to bother Caleb anymore. Alec didn’t know what they looked like anymore, because Caleb insisted on changing his bandaging himself, since he was able to do so now. What was Alec supposed to do? Argue about it? _‘No, man, I totally want to bandage you myself.’_ Yeah, because _that_ wasn’t creepy at all.

So he took Caleb’s word for it. Alec’s own wounds were doing better, though they were still a little sore. Caleb insisted on changing his bandaging. Alec tried to argue but got lost in the logic the blonde threw at him, because Caleb knew what to do and Alec had always been rather lacking in the medical department. Therefore, it made sense for the blonde to bandage him.

Five days after they left the cells found them in an odd sort of routine. They found somewhere to stay for the night, left early in the morning, and traveled most of the day, only stopping for short breaks. They were running low on supplies, but Caleb didn’t seem too worried about it. He still had about two full clips of ammo, plus that pistol Alec managed to stuff in the bag back at the jail. They were running low on bandaging but Caleb assured him their wounds were healing nicely so it wasn’t a top concern at the moment, so long as they didn’t run into any trouble. Thus far they hadn’t. Their clothes were all dirty, but neither of them were too concerned. They’d been trapped in less-than-sanitary conditions for months – so what if the clothes were a little dirty? It was better than before.

This routine continued for a while. By the time they were a week out of the cells, they’d pretty much accepted this as normal. Alec expected to wake up to Caleb’s fingers combing through his hair, as the blonde took second watch, AK firm in his free hand. Alec always took first watch, letting the blonde sleep, and then when sleep weighed him down, he woke Caleb and they traded off. If this bothered Caleb, the blonde never showed it. Sometimes Alec wondered if Caleb wanted to change shifts.

By now they were in tune with each other’s movements. If Caleb slowed, hand tightening on the grip of his gun, Alec stopped and waited. Caleb would either wave him forward or to the side, and they’d come into contact with a zephro or two, or the blonde would shrug and lower his gun, and they’d continue without a problem. If Alec veered to the side, Caleb followed, taking up the rear, gun in hand. Thus far, this was their pattern, and things were working well enough. Alec never found himself anxious when they traveled, even though it was dangerous. When he slept at night, he never felt particularly threatened, even though allowing his consciousness to slip away was always dangerous.

It kind of scared him, the amount of faith he put in the guy. He didn’t know much about him, but he knew, somehow, that Caleb would never steer him wrong. The blonde wasn’t a threat. He was safe with him.

Maybe that was what made him feel comfortable around him. For the first time in years, he felt _safe_. He felt like things might actually be okay, or at least better than before. It was an odd feeling, which left him feeling oddly guilty, though he wasn’t entirely sure why.

Alec startled when a hand brushed across his shoulder. He blinked and glanced over at Caleb, green eyes watching him closely.

“You okay, babe?” Caleb asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Alec sighed. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

Caleb shrugged. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah.” He looked up at the darkening sky. The moon was bright and round as always, but he found little comfort in it. When he was little, it always seemed so huge, this giant beacon of hope in the darkness, but now it meant very little, just the oncoming of a dangerous night wherein he would enter a sleep he might not wake up from.

“Where do you want to stay?”

Alec frowned and looked around. Everything through here looked rather rundown. “There?” he asked, gesturing at an old house. It was the sturdiest-looking place through here.

Caleb nodded and led the way. Alec followed after him, watching as Caleb pushed open the door to the house. It opened with a loud creak, but silence awaited them. It looked pretty abandoned and empty, dust aligning the floors and walls, along with various cobwebs. They pushed their way inside and wound up stopping in the laundry room, through the kitchen, which only had one entrance, easily guardable. Alec dropped their things to the ground and sat on the floor next to it, not caring about the dust.

Caleb sat near the doorway, placing the gun against his thigh as he leaned against the wall, giving into a wide yawn.

“Go ahead and sleep,” Alec said.

Caleb shrugged. “I’m okay. Just been a long day.”

Alec nodded.

“We’ll have to get food tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Alec agreed with a sigh. He was hungry but they had no food, and it didn’t seem like many places nearby had any left. They’d taken what they could from that pantry they’d stay in, but that only got them so far. “We’re also running low on ammo.”

Caleb sighed and rested his head against the wall, shifting his gaze upward. “Yeah, I know. Fucking ammo is hard to find.”

Alec wouldn’t really know, since he never really used guns. He’d taken to a pistol at one point, before he ran into Caleb, but that was it. Mostly he avoided conflict whenever possible and used his knife. He never really had to hunt for ammo.

“Could always make some, I guess,” Caleb said, mostly to himself, but Alec stared at him.

“You make your own bullets?” he asked, mouth agape.

Caleb frowned and blinked at him. “Sometimes. Hate doing it, takes forever, but…well, it’s better than nothing.”

“How do you even…?”

A slow smirk crossed the blonde’s face. “Maybe I’ll show you one day, babe.”

Alec shook his head.

First, Caleb knew how to get out of the cells. Then he somehow managed to take down five zephroes on _his own_ , after having been attacked and injured. He didn’t even break a sweat. Now, he made his own bullets?

_What else is he hiding?_

But more importantly:

_Why do I care?_

 

 

So much pain…

_Ow…what…? Where…?_

_What happened?_

Pain, everywhere. Stabbing through his body. Prominent in his head, leaving little room for clear thoughts. Memories, fractured yet present, struggling to form a complete thought. Failure. So much failure. Pain. Confusion.

“Hold still, babe, I got you, okay?”

That voice. Warm, familiar. Safe.

Fingers across his brow, through his hair. Tried to open his eyes – failed. Gasped for breath, lungs seemingly frozen. Coughed out a name, tired, weak.

“ _Caleb._ ”

“I gotcha,” Caleb said. “Stay with me, okay? Alec?”

Haziness. Dizziness. Swarming his mind, his thoughts, his very breath. Hard to breathe. Hurt. Everything hurt.

“W-What…?” he choked out, struggling to pry his heavy eyelids open, but they refused to budge. He was vaguely aware of the fact there was a hot stickiness covering him, resting below him, and wondered briefly if it was blood…and if it was his own.

“We were attacked,” Caleb said calmly, so calm Alec found himself starting to relax. “But they’re gone now. Hey? Alec, stay with me. I mean it. I need to – Alec?” A warm palm lightly tapped his cheek, thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. “Babe? Stay with me. I can fix this but I need you to stay awake. Alec?”

“O-kay,” he breathed, groaning, tossing his head to the side, but that only made it hurt worse. “W-What…hap…?”

“We were attacked,” Caleb said slowly. “Remember?”

“N-No…”

“You took a hit to the head, you’re bound to be a little confused. Open your eyes, babe.”

Alec struggled for a long moment to even get his eyelids to _twitch_ , but after a while, they finally did blink open. He found himself in a dark area, but it was warm, at least. He thought they might have been in a store or something, but he couldn’t be sure. Couldn’t remember. He rolled his head to the side and there was Caleb, complete with a small smile and a trail of blood running down his face from a nasty gash on his forehead.

“Okay?” Alec asked.

“I’m fine, babe. Got a thick skull. You, on the other hand…” Caleb shrugged. “Head wounds bleed a lot, but I need to check you over. Keep you awake for a while. Okay? I got the worst of your wounds patched up, but your head is another matter.”

Alec shrugged as much as he could while laying down, before he groaned and aborted the attempt. “Okay. I trust you.”

There was a small pause. He wasn’t sure where those words came from, but he couldn’t take them back. He wouldn’t, either. He did trust Caleb – more than any other human being alive at the moment, he trusted the blonde.

Caleb offered him a small smile and grabbed his wrist, lifting his arm somewhat. Alec bit down on his lower lip to keep the whine from escaping. “I know it hurts, but it needs to be done, babe.” He wrapped some bandaging around it and gently lowered it back to the ground. “Gonna have to do for now. Lift your head up just a little, okay? I know it’s hard, but…yeah, like that,” he praised when Alec managed to lift it a little, if only an inch. Bandaging wound around his head and Caleb nodded, allowing him to rest it against the ground again.

Caleb stuffed the things back inside the duffel at his side, and looked around, biting down on his lower lip as a frown weaved to life on his face.

“We can’t stay here – more will be coming, and you’re bleeding all over the place. Can you stand?”

Alec’s expression twisted involuntarily at the thought.

The blonde’s lips tightened into a thin white line. “Alright,” he said. “I know it sucks, but…” A pause as his head shot to look in the opposite direction, eyes narrowed, body still. Then his expression softened somewhat and he looked back at the brunette. “I have an idea. You’re mostly patched up for now, just…well, you’re not in danger of bleeding out anytime soon.”

Alec gave a slow nod.

“You still have a concussion, so you shouldn’t sleep. And don’t move too much because those wounds might tear more.”

He nodded again, frowning at the blonde. _What are you planning?_

Caleb nodded to himself, satisfied. “Alright.”

A pistol was shoved into the brunette’s limp hand, his fingers curling around it instinctively. He looked down at it and frowned, noticing his knife resting on the ground right next to him.

The blonde reached over and picked up the AK-47, dragging it toward him as he got to his feet. He looked around the room they were in, and for the first time, Alec did the same. They were in a small room in the back of a store, a storage room or sorts. Filing cabinets lined the walls, along with an old desk off to the side.

Caleb moved one of the filing cabinets, dragging it toward Alec, where he put it in front of him. He did the same with another, putting it in front of the doorway. Next moved the desk, moving to stop at Alec’s head. On Alec’s right was now the filing cabinet, and to his left was the wall. At his feet was a little opening before it hit the wall, the only way around the filing cabinet short of climbing over the desk. The blonde peered down at him from over the desk, frowning slightly.

“I need you to stay here and be perfectly still and quiet, but don’t go to sleep,” he said quietly.

Alec frowned. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m gonna lure them away from here, give you some time to heal since you can’t really move right now. If they make it in here, they’re going to go around the filing cabinet, which should give you a clear, straight shot. I know you’re not good with guns, but you can’t miss.”

“You’re…? No,” he said, scowling. “That’s crazy.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, babe,” Caleb drawled.

“Caleb-”

“I’ll be fine and be back before you know it,” the blonde said, all smiles, before he turned and disappeared from view, behind the filing cabinet. Alec struggled to sit up but wound up groaning and collapsing back into his previous position. “Remember, no moving,” Caleb called from the doorway. Alec listened as the door slid open. There was a pause.

“Caleb, don’t-” he tried.

“Take care of yourself, babe,” came the whispered reply, cutting him off, and then the door opened and closed and he was alone.

“Caleb?” he called even though he knew the blonde was no longer with him.

_“Take care of yourself, babe.”_

_Sounds an awful lot like ‘goodbye,’ Caleb. Asshole. Stupid, reckless, asshole._

He struggled to sit up again and this time managed to do so, leaning against the desk for support. If he strained his neck he could just see over the side of the desk, toward the door, but the other filing cabinet blocked his view from there.

A growl caught in his throat.

He wasn’t sure why he cared. If Caleb wanted to be suicidal, that was his problem. If he wanted to be bait, that was his choice.

Why, then, was there a knot in Alec’s stomach?

_If you get yourself killed, you stupid bastard, I’m going to bring you back and kill you myself!_


	12. Chapter Twelve: A Stupid Mistake

Chapter Twelve: A Stupid Mistake

 

 

_One hour ago…_

Movement behind Caleb caught his attention seconds before the angry snarl reached his ears. His acute hearing saved his life in that moment, allowing the blonde to twist to the side seconds before the claws whipped through the air. Alec, however, was not so lucky. The brunette released a pained yelp before he crashed to the ground, blood spraying in the air, his head colliding roughly with the curb of the sidewalk they were currently traveling across.

When the brunette refused to move after being attacked, Caleb snarled and fired at the zephro pinning him down. Seconds later, the zephro was dead and he was at Alec’s side. The injuries were deep but not fatal, not yet. The blood leaking from the brunette’s head was another matter entirely. Upon prying Alec’s eyelids open, he noticed the uneven pupils, and growled beneath his breath. Concussions were never good, and it seemed the brunette got concussions far too often.

“Can’t ever make things easy, can you?” he muttered, scrubbing a hand across his face. A snarl had him leaping to his feet, whipping his gun around as a second zephro lunged at him. He fired but missed as the mutation ducked down and knocked him off his feet, leaving him sprawling on the ground, the gun knocked from his grasp.

The zephro pinned him and started snapping at his face, claws pressing into his arms, holding him there. Snarling himself, he did the only thing he could and rammed his head up and forward, head-butting the creature in the mouth. A gash formed on his head but he decided not to think about it.

He managed to wriggle out from under the startled zephro and grabbed his gun just as the mutation lunged at him again. Its head vanished and he collapsed back down with a heavy sigh of relief, taking a moment to breathe.

Afterward, he jumped to his feet and darted toward the duffel, where he pulled out the medkit. Quickly, he snagged some disinfectant and all but scrubbed it into the gash on his forehead, still not wanting to think about it. He was fine. Perfectly fine.

Except, a part of him wondered.

No. He was okay. He had to be – he had Alec to worry about.

He put the med kit back in the duffel and returned to Alec’s side. He all but dragged the brunette out of the street and into an old building, into the back-room. Once there, he got to work on patching him up.

 

 

_Present time…_

Alec wasn’t sure when his eyes closed, but the sharp _tatta-tatta-tatta_ of the AK had them snapping open. He struggled to get to his feet but wound up collapsing back down, legs too shaky to support him. He heard hungry, angry snarls from outside the room, and the crack of the AK again, effectively silencing the snarls. But this time, the gun sounded further away. Caleb was leading them away, as he said he would ten minutes ago, when he left the room.

            Ten minutes ago, when he left Alec alone to lure the mutations away because Alec himself was too injured to move. Growling, he closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. He was entirely useless. He couldn’t do anything. The pistol held in his hand was useless because he was a horrible shot. If anything got in here, he was sure he would die. He was sure Caleb knew this too, and he knew the blonde would not let this happen. He wasn’t sure _how_ he knew this, because he didn’t technically know that much about the blonde, but he did.

            He knew, on some level, that Caleb would do whatever it took to ensure his safety. It was just the type of person he was, and while it was oddly comforting in a way, it was also irritating as hell, because there was nothing Alec could do about it at the moment. He was powerless to stop him from doing this. And damn it, he _wanted_ to stop him. He _wanted_ to make him stop doing this.

            Doing this for _Alec_.

            But he couldn’t. All he could do was sit there and listen as the snarls and crack of the gun got further and further away. He was sure the blonde had to be running out of bullets. Yesterday, they’d discussed how they were running low on supplies. Caleb told him he could make his own bullets if he had to.

            Was it really only yesterday?

            Alec sighed and strained to listen to the sharp retort of the AK, but it was getting further and further away. How many zephroes were there? Clearly a lot if he was firing this much. Could he take on that many by himself? He’d done it before, against five of them, but as he’d pointed out, they came in a line from around a corner, pretty much one at a time, and Caleb was a good shot. It made sense in a way, even though Alec was still amazing at how effortless the blonde made it seem.

            This was different, though. The layout was different. It sounded like Caleb was outside somewhere, and while Alec’s memory was hazy at best, he did remember the area they were currently in. Mostly empty, with about two buildings through here. This was obviously one of them. That left a lot of open space for attack, from any direction, from behind any of the leviathan trees marking the edge of town.

            He sighed again and closed his eyes once more. He wasn’t sure why he cared. He’d been fine on his own before he met the blonde – why was it so different now? Just because he’d been trapped in a cell with the guy for a few months didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean he wanted his company – didn’t mean he _needed_ it.

            Why, then, was that knot still so tight and wound in his stomach?

            Damn it.

            Fine, he’d admit it, just this once. He didn’t want Caleb to die. He didn’t want him to get hurt, and especially not because of him. Because he was trying to protect _him_. It was ridiculous. He’d never cared if anyone wanted to get hurt for helping him before.

            Then again…he’d never had to worry about that before, because after Silas, no one stuck around. No one even tried. Most of the people he came across were crazy and mostly homicidal, or wanted him to join their group, wherein they killed those in their way. Thus, there was no one to worry about. Because no one worried about _him_. Then Caleb came along and ruined everything. It was the blonde’s own damn fault.

            He growled beneath his breath and opened his eyes. He wasn’t going to let someone die because of him – especially not Caleb. Not the guy he considered his first friend in six years.

            Using the desk as leverage, he managed to haul himself to his feet. Dizziness swam over him and he was forced to close his eyes lest he vomit all over his only means of support at the moment.

            _Tatta-tatta-tatta_ , went the AK.

            _Tatta-tat-…._

            Silence.

            Nothing but still, overwhelming, unnatural _silence._

            Alec’s eyes snapped open.

            “Caleb.”

 

 

There was nothing but silence outside the building. Alec hobbled out into the street, looking this way and that, but found nothing. No sign of Caleb anywhere. At his feet lay two dead zephroes, but that was it. The world spun momentarily and he held his arms out, trying to balance himself, until he felt steady enough to take another step out into the road, pistol held tightly in his hand.

            “Caleb?” he asked, frowning. It was entirely too quiet. The blonde couldn’t have gone too far, right? He’d still been able to hear the crack of the gun, even if had been further away. It’d taken him a good ten minutes to get out of the building, though, and in that time, he’d heard absolutely nothing. No gunshots. No snarls. No growls.

            Nothing.

            He’d be lying if he said it didn’t make that knot in his stomach tighten and twist in such a way it left him breathless. Of course that might have just been his injuries talking. Yeah. That was it.

            He wasn’t sure why he kept walking. Wasn’t sure why he called out Caleb’s name even though any surrounding zephroes could potentially hear him. Wasn’t sure why he bothered.

            For all he knew, Caleb was dead at this very moment. In all likelihood, it was entirely possible – even probable. He was probably dead. Too many zephroes, not enough bullets, along with his previous injuries Alec had noticed on him. That head wound looked nasty even though he knew, like Caleb said, that head wounds usually looked worse than they were.

            He was probably looking for a dead man.

            This bothered him more than he cared to admit, but it did not stop him. He would find the blonde – dead or alive.

            _Preferably alive, you idiot. I’m out here looking for you against my better judgment, so you better have the courtesy to be alive._

            He continued onward, movements more and more unsteady as he did so, but he couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t. Wouldn’t stop. Had to keep going, had to find-

            “Caleb!”

            Shock.

            “Caleb!”

            He hurried forward as the blonde turned to face him. Caleb looked okay save for that gash on his forehead, and that look in his eyes. Alec found he did not like that look _at all_ and would do whatever it took to get rid of it. The look of _fear_. Why fear? On the ground around them lay three dead zephroes. Two dead with bullet holes, one dead with its head smashed in, the butt of the AK bloody as it rested next to the dead mutation.

            “Alec,” Caleb murmured as he hurried toward the brunette.

            Alec expected him to help him stand. Expected Caleb to grab his arm and force him to sit or something.

            What he did _not_ expect was for Caleb to throw his arms around him and bury his face in Alec’s chest, fingers clawing at his shirt like a lifeline, his breaths shaky, face pale. It took a moment, but Alec managed to bring his own arms up and wrap them around the blonde in return, despite his confusion. Sure, they occasionally wound up wrapped around each other when they woke in the mornings, back in the cells, and Caleb made a great pillow, but that did not mean they’d ever initiated contact outside of sleep or reassurance, or when one of them was injured. Alec was injured, but this was entirely different from what Caleb normally did.

            He found he did not know how to act. So he held tight to the blonde, ignoring the throbbing of his injuries, because this seemed important.

            “Sorry,” Caleb murmured into his chest. “Sorry, sorry, sorry…just…hold me for a minute. Okay?”

            Alec nodded slowly. “Are you okay?” he asked, because this was really starting to worry him. This wasn’t Caleb at all. He’d never seen him like this before.

            “I just…” The blonde took in a deep breath and released Alec, stepping back, frowning at him. “Fuck, babe, I’m sorry. What are you doing out here? You shouldn’t be standing!” Now his fingers curled around Alec’s arm and all but forced him to sit on the ground.

            “What’s wrong?” Alec asked, staring at him.

            “It’s nothing,” Caleb said with a scowl. “Why did you leave the room?”

            “I…Well, it was suddenly silent, and…why did you hug me?”

            Silence wrapped around them for a moment before Caleb barked out a short laugh, but it was anything but happy.

            “Let my fear get the best of me, sorry, babe. Think you can manage to walk with me until we get back to the room? I can’t believe you left. That was stupid,” he chided.

            “Let your fear…? What? Caleb, you’re not making any sense, and I had to leave! Damn it, what you did was crazy!” Alec found himself snapping, glaring at the blonde, who had the good sense to avert his gaze and look somewhat embarrassed.

            “Sorry, babe. Didn’t mean to worry you.”

            “I wasn’t…”

            But he was. He knew he was. He _still_ was, because none of this was like Caleb.

            Caleb offered him a small smile, but it looked more than a little forced. “Whatever you say, babe. Come on – I’ll help you.”

            With the blonde’s help, Alec got to his feet and leaned against him to walk. Not because he wanted to. It entirely was not his fault. His body was exhausted and Caleb gave him little choice in the matter, throwing his arm around his shoulders, holding onto his wrist to keep his arm like that, lest Alec try to move away.

            However, Alec found himself frowning. Something felt off, though he wasn’t sure what. It wasn’t even Caleb’s odd behavior this time, but something his body was telling him. He mentally went over his injuries, but it wasn’t his wounds causing him this odd sense of discomfort. His body ached but that was normal. It was okay. So what…?

            He sighed and let himself be led by the blonde, hobbling down the street, back toward the building with his arm thrown across the blonde’s warm neck and-

            His eyes widened. Warm. Too warm.

            “Caleb?”

            “Hmm?”

            “I think you have a fever?”

            A long pause, then a breathy sigh. “Yeah. Maybe. Probably.”

            Something in his voice. Something dark, dangerous, foreign.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Nothing.”

            “Caleb.”

            “Alec,” Caleb mimicked.

            Alec sighed and shook his head. “Are you sure you’re not hurt anywhere else?”

            “I’m fine.”

            Alarm. Strong, quick, coursing through him, because that voice was cold, hollow, dark.

            _What’s going on? What are you not telling me?_

            Silence surrounded them the rest of the walk. By the time they got back to the building, exhaustion spread through Alec’s body, weighing him down, and Caleb still seemed too warm. Warmer than before, maybe. He didn’t know for sure. The heat was unnatural, and he was sure the blonde had a fever, though he wasn’t sure why. Caleb hadn’t been sick yesterday.

            Once they were back in the small room, and Alec was settled against the wall, sitting on the floor, Caleb pushed the filing cabinets against the door as a sort of barricade, before he turned his attention to Alec, biting on his lower lip.

            “I didn’t mean to do it,” he said quietly.

            “Do what?” Alec asked, frowning, that knot in his stomach tightening yet again.

            “Didn’t mean to,” Caleb mumbled, shaking his head, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Stupid. Stupid move. But it was all I could do, you know? Didn’t mean to do it, it just happened. Only thing I could have done, but…stupid.”

            “Caleb?” Alec really didn’t like where this was going. At all.

            _Everything’s okay. He’s okay. I’m okay. We’re okay, calm down, it’s fine._

            Except that lump in his throat told him otherwise.

            “I wasn’t thinking. My fault.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            _You’re starting to scare me, Caleb. What’s going on?_

            “I really don’t want to die,” Caleb continued, almost rambling in the quickness of his words, the way he started pacing, eyes locked on the floor.

            Alarm. No, _alarms_. Going off in his head. Loud.

            “You’re not going to die,” Alec all but growled, glaring at the blonde. “You’re fine, right? I mean…” A pause. “You…you’re okay, right?”

            Because suddenly he wasn’t so sure.

            _You’re okay. C’mon. Tell me you’re okay._

            Caleb stopped pacing and took in a slow breath, which he held for a moment, before finally releasing. His eyes snapped toward Alec, and the brunette bit down _hard_ on his lower lip because _fuck_ …

            _“Alec, please.”_

_“It was a zephro, man.”_

_“Just do it.”_

_Fever-glazed brown eyes…_

_Fever-glazed…_

Fever-glazed _green_ eyes…

            “No,” Alec said before he knew what he was doing. He shook his head, struggling to get those thoughts out of his head, away from his mind and memory. “No. You’re okay. Fuck, just…you’re okay.”

            “Alec…I did something stupid,” Caleb said quietly, and it was too placating, too comforting, and-

            “ _No_.”

            “Thought I was okay. You know? But…started feeling dizzy. Tired.” The blonde swallowed thickly, eyes watching him, staring at him. “My own fault. I was stupid.”

            “Caleb – no. You’re okay.”

            Why was he saying this? He wasn’t sure why he was saying _no_ because Caleb still wasn’t making much sense, but Alec he knew he wasn’t going to like it. He already hated those fever-glazed eyes. His heart raced in his chest and he wasn’t sure why, because everything was okay, right? His mind was simply playing tricks on him because of his injuries, that was all. The green eyes weren’t really glazed.

            Right?

            Because right now he felt like a child, seeking absolution and reassurance from a friend or a parent, and he just wanted Caleb to _nod_ and say _‘Yeah, I’m fine. I’m okay.’_

            Except it wasn’t happening.

            Instead, the blonde shook his head slowly, regretfully. “Alec…I made a stupid mistake.”

            “How?” he demanded.

            Caleb took in a slow breath and walked toward the desk, where he put his palms against the top of it, leaning forward, head bowed and eyes closed. For a moment, nothing was spoken between them. Then the blonde sighed and opened his eyes, looking at him.

            “I head-butted a zephro.”

            “And?”

            A pause.

            “I head-butted a zephro _in the mouth_.”

            And suddenly, all he could see was the blood on the blonde’s face, the gash on his forehead, jagged and long, slicing upward and to the right. If it had been a claw, there would be more than one mark. He head-butted a zephro in the mouth. Where they had some fangs longer than others, usually the canines. So four long ones. One of which…

            “ _No_ ,” he growled.

            Caleb’s tone was carefully controlled – even calm. “Alec…I think I might be bitten.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Friendship

Chapter Thirteen: Friendship

 

 

Everything stopped. At least, it felt like it did. The sound stopped. Alec’s breath stopped. He was sure his heart stopped too. All he could do in that moment was stare at the blonde, uncomprehending, because that wasn’t right. Everything was okay – why was the blonde saying this?

            He wasn’t bitten – he had no bite marks.

            _Head-butted a zephro in the mouth…teeth…gash on head…fever…_

            When time unfroze and his breath returned to him, it was in a choke, pathetic gasp as he tossed his head backward, into the wall, staring at the blonde. Caleb watched him, but his eyes were still different. Still glazed. A little glossy. Dark. _Fevered_.

            His skin was pale. Beads of sweat dripped down his face, over the flushed cheeks and white flesh. He looked a little unsteady, leaning over the desk, palms held down on the smooth wood, arms shaking somewhat.

            “I thought I was okay,” Caleb whispered, mostly to himself. “I mean…it wasn’t a fucking _bite_. Just a _stupid mistake_ , and…” He shook his head, sighing. “I thought I was okay. I thought I was good. But…I’m starting to really not feel so well, babe.” His eyes slid closed and he rubbed a tired hand across his face, wiping at the sweat and dried blood.

            _“I thought I was okay.”_

_“I made a stupid mistake.”_

_“I really don’t want to die.”_

_“Just hold me for a minute, okay?”_

_“Alec…I think I might be bitten.”_

_“…head-butted a zephro…”_

_“…head-butted a zephro in the mouth…”_

_“…stupid mistake…”_

_“…my fault…”_

_“…might be bitten…”_

            “No,” Alec growled, struggling up the wall until he was on his feet, glaring at the blonde. Caleb’s eyes snapped open and focused on him. “No, you’re not fucking bitten. Do you hear me? You’re fine!”

            “Alec…”

            “Stop it,” Alec snapped. “Stop using that voice!”

            He really hated that voice. That shaky, fragile voice. It left his stomach flipping, his heart racing, and he didn’t like it – at _all_. Hated it. Hated that voice, hated what he was saying, hated _everything_ about this moment, because it was all so _wrong_.

            “Alec, I wish I was fine,” Caleb said quietly, frowning at him.

            “You’re not bitten!”

            “I think I am,” the blonde murmured. “Starting to feel like shit, babe.” A faint smile, tossed his way.

            He snarled. “Don’t you dare smile about this! I can’t…!”

            “Babe…it’s okay,” Caleb said, moving around the desk, standing in front of him now as Alec used the wall for support. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

            “This isn’t about _me_ ,” Alec said, shaking his head. “Okay? It’s not. And it’s not okay! You just… You can’t…”

            “Can’t what, babe?”

            Calm, soothing. Placating.

            Alec wanted to believe it. Believe the lie, the lie that it was okay. Wanted the lie to be the truth and the truth to be the lie, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen. The world hated him. It was obvious now. Why else would it grant him with a friend – someone he _trusted_ , after _six years_ – only to do this to him now? Why did history have to repeat itself?

            “Not fair,” he muttered.

            _Not fucking fair._

            “Babe?”

            Alec shook his head, scrubbing a hand across his face, feeling his eyes sting. “I can’t do it again,” he said quietly, head bowed, eyes locked on the floor. His legs felt weak, and his body was tired. He found himself collapsing back to the ground, sliding down the wall, knees pulled to his chest. “I can’t. I can’t. I just fucking _can’t_.”

            “What do you mean, babe?” Caleb was next to him now, kneeling. From here he could hear the slight tremor in the blonde’s breaths.

            Remembered Silas’ breaths. The tremors, the labored rush, the silence after Alec ended it…

            “I can’t do it again.”

            “Babe? What’s wrong?” A hand landed gently on his shoulder and he shook it off with a snarl, glaring at the blonde. Then he blinked at the somewhat hurt look that flashed across Caleb’s face, but the time the blink ended, the look was gone, replaced with a certain guarded resolve he did not understand. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine,” Alec said, glaring. “I’m not bitten.”

            _Why is it never me? Always someone else. First my family. Then Silas. Now… Why? Why, Life? Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to deserve this, again?_

            Silence wrapped around them for a long moment. Caleb got to his feet and sighed.

            “I can go, if you want me to,” he said quietly.

            For a moment, Alec thought he hadn’t heard right, because surely Caleb wasn’t offering to _leave_ , like Alec would _want_ him to take off when he was clearly _not_ …

            Not okay.

            He wasn’t okay.

            Pale, fevered, shaky.

            _Bitten_ , his mind supplied.

            _No. Not again. Not Caleb._

            Caleb was his friend – his only friend in this whole entire _world_ , as screwed up as it was, and the only person he _trusted_. His first friend since Silas. The first person he actually felt _safe_ with, since Silas. After six years of solitude, he finally found a friend, someone who seemed to know him better than Alec even did himself, because it was like Caleb always _knew_ what he wanted, what he _needed_.

            Like right now – he knew this was hurting Alec, but he probably wasn’t sure why. He offered to leave – he thought he was the cause of it, and, yeah, he was. Just not in the way he thought.

            “Don’t go,” Alec said quietly, when the blonde moved toward the filing cabinets, intent on moving them to leave. Caleb stopped, one hand firm against the side of one of the cabinets, and then turned to face him, frowning somewhat. “Don’t go,” Alec repeated.

            An odd look crossed Caleb’s face. “I’m not going to make you watch me die,” he said, shaking his head. “Obviously you’ve done it before. Can’t do it again, huh?”

            Alec stared at him, chest tightening, breaths stuttering, stomach flipping. His expression must have said it all, because Caleb nodded slowly, offering him a faint smile.

            “It’s okay, babe. I’m not mad. I don’t mind. I’ll go. We’ll cut things off here.”

            _What? Cut things off?_

            Caleb knelt in front of him now, holding out his hand, a small smile on his face, but it did not reach his eyes. Those dark, fever-glazed green eyes. “It’s been nice knowing you, Alec,” the blonde said, the sincerity in his voice leaving Alec biting down on his lower lip. “Thanks for being my friend, even if it was only for a short while.” A brief pause, Caleb’s hand still outstretched. “I’ll leave the medical supplies and everything with you. I won’t need it.” He shook his head and released a breath, before he waved his hand in front of Alec’s face. “You’re supposed to shake it, babe.”

            Unconsciously, Alec grasped Caleb’s hand and squeezed tightly, shaking it. When it came time to pull away, he instead held tight and shook his head, a growl forming on his lips, because this was ridiculous. He couldn’t let this happen. Caleb was saying goodbye. He was saying _goodbye_. Like it was _no big deal_.

            “I won’t let you die,” Alec said before he could stop himself, tightening his grip even more when Caleb tried to pull away. He could feel the unnatural heat beneath his grasp, steadily rising. Steadily getting worse. Steadily stealing the life from the blonde.

            “Babe…Alec, you can’t stop it,” Caleb said slowly, eyes locked on the brunette’s hazel ones. “I don’t like this either, but…babe, there’s nothing you can do.”

            Alec shook his head. “No. I can’t do it again. Do you hear me?”

            “Alec-”

            With a growl, Alec yanked Caleb’s hand toward him, causing the blonde to stagger forward and all but crash into the brunette. The breath forced from Alec’s lungs, it took him a moment to guide Caleb’s hand down to his knife, where he forced the blonde’s fingers to clutch around it.

            “Babe?” Caleb asked, frowning as he shifted enough that Alec could still easily hold his hand as he was, but now not crushing the brunette into the wall. He sat mostly next to him, but turned so he was facing him, hand outstretched. The heat beneath Alec’s hands started to get to him.

            “You asked where I got that knife,” Alec said roughly, throat clogged with a stupid lump he couldn’t seem to swallow down.

            “Alec, you don’t have-”

            “Shut up,” the brunette said, scowling. “My friend gave it to me for…for my fifteenth birthday.”

            “Babe, you really don’t have to do this,” Caleb said quietly. Alec shrugged and released his hand, allowing the blonde to settle next to him against the wall. Fingers rested briefly on his shoulder, then slide over his neck and up, into his hair, combing through the strands. Despite himself, Alec found himself leaning into the touch, taking a deep breath.

            “He got bitten,” he mumbled. “My friend. Half a year after my birthday. Just like my whole family – he got fucking _bitten_.”

            An arm came around his shoulders, tugging him close to a warm body – too warm. Unnaturally so.

            “I’ve seen the process so many times,” Alec found himself murmuring, the events playing before his eyes like horrible home movies in his head. The images that would not, could not, go away. Ever.

            “Babe…”

            “Zephroes. I don’t know why it’s always them, but…fuck, they killed _everyone_. Their bites are…fucking _lethal_ , and…”

            “Babe, stop.”

            Alec sucked in a quick breath, trying to compose himself enough, because _he can’t do this again_.

            “Watched my family die. Zephro bites. All of ‘em. Thought it was safe after a while, just me and…and my friend. Silas. Just me an’ Silas, my best fucking friend, and…and…”

            _It all happened so fast…too fast…_

_“Alec, please.”_

_“Just do it.”_

_“For me.”_

Alec swallowed and snapped his eyes shut, feeling himself pulled into a warm, comfortable embrace. For a moment, just a moment, he let himself rest his head on Caleb’s shoulder, allowed himself to be hugged and embraced in such a way he hadn’t been since he was younger, with his family. Back when he was a kid. Back when things were okay.

            But it wasn’t okay, because it was happening all over again.

            “I can’t do it again, Caleb,” he whispered, eyes tightly closed, head still resting on the blonde’s shoulder.

            “It’s okay,” Caleb said. “You’ll be okay.”

            _That’s not the point. I’m not the one that’s bitten, you idiot!_

            Alec took in a few deep breaths before he finally felt steady enough. He lifted his head from Caleb’s shoulder and tried not to complain when the blonde’s arms disappeared from around him, leaving him cold where once he was warm. He would have to get used to it, though, because it was happening again. He was losing everything – _again_.

            His new – only – friend. If he was really bitten, he’d be dead by dawn.

            “Not again,” he sighed.

            “I can leave,” Caleb offered.

            Alec shot him a sharp glare which left the blonde snapping his mouth closed. “You’re not going anywhere, you crazy, suicidal bastard,” he snapped. “And you’re not dying on me, either.”

            That faint, small smile again. Fragile. Vulnerable. _Tired_. “Do my very best not to, babe,” he said quietly, before a shiver tore through him and he groaned, tossing his head backward, into the wall. “Forgot about that.”

            “What? What’s happening?” Alec asked, even though a part of him knew. It happened with Silas, after all. Happened with his sister – his parents. Happened to everyone.

            “Forgot how cold it was,” Caleb said, voice softer, more faint, shaky. “Tired, babe. Gettin’ very tired. ‘n sore. Kinda…kinda hurts.” His eyes fluttered heavily, the green glassy and dark.

            Alec swallowed thickly and nodded. “You’re cold, huh?”

            “Kinda starting to freeze, but…well…”

            Alec scrubbed a hand over his face and then sighed, deciding ‘to hell with it’, and grabbed the blonde’s arm, pulling him toward him. As the blonde toppled sideways, into him, he wrapped his arms around the thin, fevered, trembling frame, blinking back the wetness in his eyes, because he would _not_ cry. It was happening again, history forever repeating itself, but he would not cry. Not right now. Not when he was needed.

            It made sense now. The way Caleb hugged him earlier, when he found him outside. The fear in his eyes. The shaky breaths. The way he wanted to be held – wanted to be _comforted_. Caleb could act calm all he wanted, but Alec knew he was scared. He didn’t want to die, as he’d said. No one wanted this. It was everyone’s worst nightmare – being bitten by a zephro, or by a neutrohale.

            _But he wasn’t bitten…it was just a stupid scratch, damn it. Just a scratch. Why?_

            Minutes passed in silence. Caleb became heavier against him; hotter. More shaky.

            “Caleb?” he whispered, lightly shifting, nudging the blonde.

            “ ‘m tired…” came the sluggish reply.

            “I know you are,” Alec said, “but you can’t sleep, okay? Just…just don’t think about it.”

            He’d wanted Silas to sleep when he was bitten. Wanted him to sleep, rest, get better. For some reason, he didn’t want that now. Maybe because he knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t help. It only stole time from both the people involved, because sleep was just the prequel to the eternal unconsciousness around the bend.

            He wanted to keep Caleb awake as long as possible. Wanted to keep from being _alone_ for as long as possible.

            “Caleb? Did you hear me?”

            “Mm…heard ya…”

            “Then look at me.”

            “Mmm…”

            “Caleb – look at me,” Alec said, arm around Caleb’s waist, holding the blonde to him, the blonde’s head on his shoulder, eyes closed. “Open your eyes – c’mon, Caleb.”

            “Call me Cal…”

            “Huh?”

            “Cal,” Caleb murmured, eyes still closed, breaths more than a little uneven. “Using you…as a dying pillow… Might as well…call me Cal… ‘s what my…close friends used to…call me…” A brief pause. “Figure…can’t get much closer…than this…”

            “Okay, Cal,” Alec said, that stupid lump back in his throat. “But you’re not dying, okay?”

            _Liar, liar, liar,_ his mind told him. _You are such a liar. He is dying. Just like Silas. Just like your family. Just like anyone you ever cared about._

 _Shut up,_ he thought back.

            “If I’m going to call you Cal,” he said slowly, “then you’re going to have to open your eyes and look at me, okay? That’s the deal.”

            A moment later, the blonde’s eyes fluttered open, blinking quickly, struggling to focus. The green was dark, glazed – glossy. Like Silas’. Like the eyes that haunted his dreams. Except this wasn’t a dream, and it wasn’t Silas – it wasn’t a memory or a nightmare. It was happening here, right now, in this very moment. It was Caleb, his friend, the only person he had left at the moment.

            The only person he had.

            Only thing he had _left_ , besides his knife, but he couldn’t _talk_ to his knife, or _trust_ his knife.

            But soon, the blade would be all he had left. That and an empty, bloodied AK-47, and the pistol at his side.

            “You should…probably rest, babe,” Caleb breathed, watching him as his eyes focused.

            Alec barked out a weak, raspy laugh. “ _I_ should rest? You look far worse than me, Cal.”

            “Feel like it, too.”

            “I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

            A confused crease formed in the blonde’s brow. “How?”

            “I shouldn’t have been so useless. I shouldn’t have been so weak. I should have been out there with you. This is my fault because I’m stupid, pathetic, and weak,” Alec muttered, shaking his head.

            Fingers clawed at his shirt, finding a hold when Alec glanced down the pale face staring up at him. “Not pathetic,” Caleb said. “Not stupid, not weak. You’re fine. Okay?”

            “Caleb…”

            Hesitation on the blonde’s face. “Can I…”

            “Cal?”

            “I wanna…I wanna lay down…”

            Alec opened his mouth to argue, but what could he say? _‘No, I’m sorry, you can’t lay down. Why? Because frankly I’m comfortable and I don’t want you going to sleep. Sorry.’_

            No, that wouldn’t go over too well. He couldn’t be that selfish. He had a right to want to stay how he was, he decided. For the past few months, Caleb had been the only constant in his life, the one thing that made everything seem relatively okay, when otherwise, he was sure it would have been torture. Therefore, he figured he had a right to want to stay like this, holding onto the blonde, arms wrapped protectively around him, like he could stop this sickness from spreading if he just held on tight enough.

            Unfortunately that wasn’t true.

            _Why do I care? Damn it…_

            He wasn’t sure why he cared, but he did. He really, really did.

            “Okay,” he finally replied, voice rough. He shifted a little, releasing his hold, and allowed the blonde to drop to the ground, his head resting on Alec’s lap. It was a familiar position, only reversed. Before he knew it, his fingers were tangled in the damp blonde hair, anchoring him to this reality, no matter how much he hated it.

            Silence surrounded them for a long moment while Alec struggled to rid himself of the lump in his throat.

            “Talk to me,” he said finally.

            A pause. “ ‘bout what?” Caleb asked.

            “Anything. Just…talk.”

            _I can’t see your eyes. Talk so I know you’re awake._

            “Any siblings?” Alec asked.

            “No. You?”

            “A sister,” he murmured. “She’s dead. Zephro bite. Story of my fucking life.”

            “Sorry.”

            “Don’t be…it was a long time ago,” he sighed. “So, your mom was a nurse. What about your dad?”

            “Scientist.”

            “Oh? What’d he do?”

            “Researched diseases,” Caleb murmured. “Worked at the hospital too.”

            Alec nodded. “My dad was a mechanic. Mom stayed at home with us.” A breath. “How old were you when…when it all went to hell?”

            A pause. “That’s…complicated.”

            “How is it complicated?” Alec asked. “I was thirteen when…well, when I realized what was happening.”

            “If you mean….how old I was eight years ago…I was fourteen.”

            Alec nodded. The blonde was a year older than him, so that would make him twenty-two.

            “But if you mean…how old I was when…I realized what was happening…” A breathy sigh. “I was twelve.”

            “How did you know?” Alec couldn’t help but ask. “It didn’t really become public knowledge until I was thirteen. It was on the news. Of course, a lot had died by then…”

            “ ‘m tired…”

            “I know…hey? Stay awake, okay?” He tightened his grip on the blonde strands, lightly tugging, getting his attention.

            “My dad was…a researcher…in the loop,” Caleb murmured.

            Alec blinked in surprise. “Really?” Caleb’s father knew what was happening? Was he part of it?

            “Mm…yeah. He tried to…help fix it, but…” A breathy sigh, a faint cough. “Didn’t work so well.”

            “Is that how…you knew what to do in the cells?” Alec asked quietly, looking down at the blonde head, face turned away from him, one hand firm on his thigh, weakly grasping as a tremor tore through the smaller body. “Because your father researched them? You knew to be quiet?”

            “Something like that,” Caleb replied. “Alec… ‘m tired…”

            “Don’t sleep,” Alec said, shaking his head. “Keep talking. It’s okay.”

            _It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Don’t go to sleep and it’s okay._

            Except it wasn’t okay. Deep down, he knew it. The heat beneath his hand was growing. Hotter and hotter. Just like Silas.

            Just like his family. Just like everyone that ever meant anything to him.

            _I can’t do this again, damn it…why? What did I do to deserve this?_

            The silence was loud as it surrounded them, save for the light pants of Caleb’s breaths.

            “Caleb?”

            Silence.

            He shifted his leg, lightly jostling the blonde’s head. “Caleb.”

            Nothing.

            “Cal?”

            But the blonde was asleep – or unconscious. He combed his fingers through the damp hair and sighed, resting his head backward, against the wall, eyes sliding closed.

            _It was just a stupid scratch. It wasn’t a bite. C’mon, it was just a scratch… I can’t do this again._

            Except life hated him, and while he was just starting to get used to the thought that he had a new friend – an actual _friend_ – that did not mean he got to keep it.

            That didn’t mean he wouldn’t soon have to say goodbye.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: How Do You Feel?

Chapter Fourteen: How Do You Feel?

 

 

_“I made a stupid mistake.”_

_“I think I might be bitten.”_

_“I head-butted a zephro. I head-butted a zephro in the mouth.”_

_Dread, anxiety. Denial._

_Can’t do it again. No._

_Fever-glazed eyes, green instead of brown, but all the same anyway. Again and again, happening._

_“I’m not going to make you watch me die.”_

_But it happened before. He saw it then, sees it now, knows it’s coming…_

_“I won’t let you die.”_

_Fever-glazed eyes. Color unknown. Same either way._

_“Alec, please.”_

_A plea, wrought from cracked, desperate lips. Tremors, tearing through a fragile, fevered body. Eyes, dark with an inner heat he couldn’t stop, couldn’t cool down._

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“I’m not going to make you watch me die.”_

_“For me.”_

_The knife, held over a chest. A whispered apology, then blood. Silence – no more staggered breaths, no more grunts of pain, or fevered pleas. Just silence, forever surrounding him. Forever and always. Alone. Never to be with anyone again, because-_

_History…forever repeating._

_“I can’t do it again.”_

_“Babe, stop.”_

_“Call me Cal.”_

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_Who spoke? Uncertain. Fever-glazed eyes, both green and brown. Damp hair, blonde and brunette. Sweaty. Waxy skin, fever-flushed cheeks. Shaky breaths, staggered, labored, choppy. Loud and yet silent. Tremors, forever tearing through bodies smaller than his own. Never him in pain – always those around him. And himself, forever forced to watch, a guest in his own nightmare, forever repeating._

_“Caleb?”_

_“Look at me.”_

_“Talk to me.”_

_“Don’t go.”_

_“I’m not going to make you watch me die.”_

_“Thought I was okay.”_

_“I head-butted a zephro in the mouth.”_

_“I think I might be bitten.”_

_“I really don’t want to die.”_

_“Just…hold me for a minute. Okay?”_

_Fear, hidden in the way arms wrap around him, cling to him, fingers in his shirt. Fear, in the fever-glazed eyes, both brown and green. Fear forever in the voices echoing through his head, reminded him that as always, history forever repeats._

_“I can’t do it again…”_

“Hey. Hey, wake up.”

            _“Not fair.”_

_Not fucking fair. Always a spectator, watching people slip away. Always the same fate, forever repeated._

“I said wake up.”

            _“Thought I was okay.”_

_“Stupid mistake.”_

_“My fault.”_

“Babe?”

            _“Babe, stop.”_

“Babe, c’mon – wake up?”

            _Fingers, winding through his hair, smoothing over his forehead. Soft, warm – inviting._

_“Caleb?”_

“Alec, c’mon. Wake up.”

            Groaning, consciousness flooded through Alec and he managed to pry his eyes open enough to see a hazy figure hovering over him. Disjointed, fractured thoughts seeped through his mind, mostly the sense of urgency, which left him struggling to sit up, gasping as he did so. Pain lanced through him, only part of it physical. A hand landed on his chest, holding him down.

            “Calm down, babe. How are you feeling?”

            Familiar. So familiar, that voice, but…

            _Impossible,_ whispered his mind.

            “Hey, calm down, okay?”

            The hazy figure cleared, turning into- “Caleb?”

            The blonde flashed him a smile, vibrant and lively. “Morning, babe,” he said cheerily. “You slept with a concussion – I specifically told you not to do that but do you…”

            For a long moment, Alec simply stared at him as the blonde continued talking, like it wasn’t some miracle he was actually still able to do so – like it wasn’t impossible for him to be talking, smiling, _breathing_ …

It was impossible, because Alec could remember fear, pain, and a sense of…denial. Bitten. Caleb said he was bitten, a gash on his head, just a simple scratch but so much more. He was sick. More than sick – dying, even. Dead by dawn, according to the bite. If it was morning…

His eyes snapped toward the blonde’s head, and took notice of the gash still found there. But the waxy skin was not as pale as before – he had a little color back. The fevered flush of his cheeks was gone, as was that glazed look in his suddenly bright green eyes, and all Alec could do was _stare_ as the blonde stopped talking, cheer dispersing from his eyes – his _lively_ eyes.

            Caleb’s smile slipped away and he sighed, averting his gaze momentarily. “I know. I thought I was, like… well, I didn’t think I’d live to see sunlight, you know? But… I feel a lot better.” A pause. “So how are you feeling, babe? It was pretty hard to get you to wake up. Been trying for over an hour.” Worry etched onto the blonde’s face, a faint crease in his otherwise smooth brow, save for where that gash was.

            “You’re okay?” Alec finally managed to gasp as he sat up, shoving Caleb’s hand away to do so. The blonde scowled but let him sit up, leaning against the wall for support. His hand reached out of its own accord, touching against Caleb’s forehead, but there was no unnatural rush of heat. The fever was gone. Only natural warmth pushed against his hand, and he felt a dazed smile begin to spread across his face. “You’re okay.”

            “I’m okay,” Caleb confirmed with a small nod.

            “But…but _how_?”

            Because he could remember the fever. The flushed skin, the glazed look, the shaky breaths…the silence after the blonde passed out…

            “I don’t know. Been thinking about it since I surprised myself and woke up,” the blonde admitted, shaking his head, frown curving his lips downward as he finally focused on Alec again. “I really don’t know. I guess…I guess because it wasn’t technically a _bite_ , the poison didn’t…kill me? I mean, I do have a strong immune system…and it wasn’t really a bite, just a scratch…”

            Alec shook his head, still staring, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t remember falling asleep, but he remembered Caleb passing out on him. He remembered worrying the blonde wouldn’t wake up before he died, even though he knew the pain would probably wake him, toward the end. It had happened with his family, after all.

            He remembered Caleb waking only very briefly, at the edge of his memory, so it must have been right before he himself passed out. Caleb’s shaky breaths eventually lulled him to sleep despite everything, and with the impending death of his friend on his conscious, he lost the battle to stay awake. What was the point in being awake when he would be alone in the end, anyway? He didn’t want to watch Caleb die, and right now, the blonde was somehow alive.

            Thankfully, somehow alive.

            “You’re fucking alive.” He could not keep the shock from his voice and could not tear his gaze away from the normal pallor of Caleb’s skin. They’d been in the cells for months, after all – both of them were rather pale, but last night, Caleb had been all but a ghost, alive only due to the shallow rush of his hurried, pained breaths, which was normal for someone who was bitten. Alec knew this all too well, knew the symptoms and signs far better than he wanted to.

            One’s sense of balance was usually the first to go, after a zephro bite. It would explain why Caleb felt dizzy before anything. Fatigue came next, sudden and nearly overpowering, but the blonde had been fueled with adrenaline, fading though it was after the battle with the zephroes, which he somehow lived through yet again, on his own. After the fatigue came the soreness, and the cold. From there the pain only increased as the organs began to shut down. The first thing to start shutting down was the lungs. The staggered staccato of Silas’ breaths rang sharply in Alec’s ears for a moment, but he managed to shove the thought away when he listened to Caleb’s own quiet, even breaths.

            “You’re _alive._ ”

            “Yeah,” Caleb said, “I guess so. Surprised the hell out of me too.”

            “It was just a scratch.”

            “Guess so, babe. I mean…still got me, you know? But…I guess because it wasn’t an actual _bite_ , not as much of it got into my bloodstream? I did disinfect the hell out of it after it happened.”

            “It didn’t happen again,” Alec murmured, too stunned to think beyond that fact. It was morning, Caleb was alive, and he didn’t even have a fever anymore. As bad as he’d been the night before, he was okay now, like it never happened. As much as Alec wanted that to be the case, he couldn’t shake the memory away, because it had been fucking happening _again_.

            “Guess not,” Caleb said, sitting next to him.

            “It didn’t… I didn’t have to…”

            “Babe?”

            Alec took in a slow breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t aware his fingers were wound in Caleb’s shirt until the blonde tried to pull away, leaving his fingers only clutching tighter, before he managed to think about what he was doing. It actually took a bit of effort to get his fingers to release the fabric, almost like his mind was worried this illusion would shatter if he were to let go, but he managed to do it all the same.

            He opened his eyes and found Caleb watching him.

            “I didn’t have to do it again,” he murmured, though he wasn’t sure why he was doing so. There was no reason to linger on this, because it didn’t happen. Caleb was okay.

            “Didn’t have to do what, babe?” Caleb asked slowly. “How many times have you…had to do it?”

            “Once,” he said, before he knew what he was doing, and then shook his head. “I mean… I’ve seen the process to many times. But…once, I had to…” There his breath caught in his throat and the words did their best to choke him.

            A warm hand rested on his shoulder, all natural heat. “Babe, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. We both have secrets, right?”

            Alec nodded slowly. They did have secrets, but it felt almost wrong to have them now. It felt like they’d almost grown closer, somehow, in the past day. Caleb had saved his life, risking his own life in the process, and very nearly died the same way everyone Alec knew seemed to go. But it didn’t happen, and it felt wrong to keep secrets when it felt almost like this was a second chance.

            He had a second chance at this steadily growing friendship.

            Even though he wanted to tell Caleb, the words would not come, forever stuck in his throat, choking him. So for now, their secrets would continue, because as much as he wanted to know what Caleb was hiding, he knew he didn’t have a right to know until he revealed his own history.

            “You didn’t die,” Alec said, the words stumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. He blinked at his own words and then frowned.

            “Nope,” Caleb said. “I’m alive somehow. I honestly don’t know why…”

            Something was off in his voice, though, and Alec’s frown deepened. “You’re hiding something,” he said, narrowing his eyes. Caleb paused and averted his gaze, his hand dropping away from Alec’s shoulder.

            “Secrets, babe,” Caleb murmured. “Tell you later, but… I mean, I don’t know why I’m alive. I… Maybe I have an idea? But… I mean, I was sick. You saw it.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how I’m better, after that.”

            “Yeah, well… I have to admit, I’m glad.”

            Caleb looked at him again and smiled, softly. “Yeah. Me too.” A small pause. “You didn’t answer my question.”

            “What question?”

            “How are you feeling?”

            Alec barked out a laugh, and felt much better than he had in ages. Then he was laughing, laughing so hard his ribs ached and throbbed in protest, the amusement only dying away when dark spots flashed before his eyes.

            “Babe,” Caleb said calmly, watching him, but there was an amused lilt to his mouth.

            “I’m fine,” Alec said, and while parts of his body throbbed in protest, for the first time in a long time, he actually _felt_ fine. “I’m fine.”


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Shaken

Chapter Fifteen: Shaken

 

 

They almost lost the AK, Alec realized belatedly when they left the little room and moved toward where they last left it. He hadn’t even noticed it at the time, but they’d left it on the ground after he found the blonde amidst a few dead zephroes. At the time, though, it was unimportant, because Caleb had been acting oddly. First he’d all-out _hugged_ Alec, seeking comfort, and then the two of them hobbled back to the little room, ignoring the AK’s existence, for the most part. Now Alec watched as the blonde lifted the AK off the ground and reloaded it with the last remaining ammo clip.

            Caleb flashed him a quick smile, holding the AK lazily over his shoulder with one hand. “How are you feeling, babe?” he asked, the duffel bag slung over his other shoulder. Alec insisted on carrying the bag, but the blonde stubbornly refused, due to the brunette’s healing injuries.

            Alec could have won the argument if he really wanted to, but his body was sore and his head was still trying to wrap around the fact that it was a miracle Caleb was even alive to carry the bag, much less _argue_ about it. Through the shock which still coursed through his veins, even two days after the fact, he gave into the blonde and allowed him to carry the bag, despite the fact it made himself appear weak. Caleb had a point, though – he was still healing, and there was no reason for him to carry everything all the time, like he insisted. The brunette also did not wish to continually argue with the blonde, lest the moment shatter and he wake to realize this was a dream, and he was, in fact, very much alone, the blonde nothing but a still, cold body on the ground, eyes glazed with something other than a fever.

            A shiver ripped through him at the thought, and he snapped his eyes closed, biting down on his lower lip. A warm shoulder knocked against his own and he opened his eyes to find Caleb frowning at him.

            “Babe?” the blonde asked.

            “I’m okay,” Alec said. “Just a little sore.”

            Caleb nodded. “Understandable,” he said, before jerking his head to the right. “I say we go this way. That is, if you _still_ insist on walking.”

            Now Alec scowled. “I’m _fine_ ,” he muttered, shaking his head as he stomped in the direction Caleb indicated.

            “Alec, you’re clearly favoring one side, babe. It’s okay if you’re not ready. We’re okay here for now.”

            Alec shook his head. “No. We need to keep going.” With that, he quickened his pace, and listened as the blonde gave into a loud sigh and followed after him.

            He wasn’t entirely sure why he was so eager to leave this place, but everything about here left him on edge. Perhaps it was the rotting bodies of the dead zephroes, which they came across when they left the building earlier, and again when they retrieved the AK-47. Perhaps he hated it here because he was sick of being trapped in a little room, surrounded by filing cabinets. Maybe it was because he wanted fresh air, needed to _breathe_ air that didn’t force dust into his lungs.

            Whatever the reason, he found he did not wish to stay here longer than they had to, and he was feeling a lot better now. His injuries were healing nicely, Caleb told him. The concussion was better, and they were running out of food. Alec’s stomach growled as a reminder of how little they’d actually eaten lately, and that left him narrowing his eyes because he suddenly couldn’t remember the last time the blonde ate. Caleb made him eat the last of the food early this morning, as a sort of reward for being well enough to move if he wished to do so, which he did. Thus they were now leaving that building and continuing on their way, even though Alec had no idea where they were going. They had no specific destination in mind, but after everything that happened here, the brunette found he wanted to be as far away from here as possible.

            “We’re almost out of supplies,” he said to the blonde, when Caleb started walking next to him, keeping pace instead of following behind him. This was somewhat off-putting – the way Caleb followed after him, the trust in those footsteps, the way he seemed to think Alec knew where he was going. Usually the blonde was the one in the lead, armed with his AK and ready for any foreign movement or sound, but sometimes Alec found himself in the lead, and every time it made him more than a little uneasy.

            “I know,” Caleb said, sighing. “Ammo’s such a hassle to find.”

            “You can make some, right?”

            He was still curious about that.

            Caleb tossed him a faint grin. “I can, but first I need to find the materials, and it takes forever. Also need to make another strap. I can’t believe they fucking took _my strap_.”

            Alec found himself grinning as the blonde shook his head. Their captors, from the cells, had taken off the strap connected to the AK, the strap which let it hang across Caleb’s chest or back, hands-free. Every so often the blonde commented on it, obviously irritated, but there was little he could do about it except make or find another one.

            “Anyway,” Caleb said, cutting into Alec’s thoughts, causing the brunette’s hazel eyes to lock onto his companion, “that’s not the real problem. The big problem is we’re almost out of medical supplies and the food’s completely gone. Also kind of need clothes, and shoes, but, well…” He shook his head. “Don’t think that’s gonna happen because we can’t carry everything everywhere. But, medical supplies and food, and ammo. Those are our main priorities.”

            Alec nodded. “Any idea where we could get some?”

            “We could try a store in the next town, but I’m pretty sure everywhere has been raided by now.”

            “Yeah…”

            “But we’ll figure it out,” Caleb said, tossing him a quick, easy smile, and the brunette nodded.

            “Yeah, we will.”

 

 

Caleb sighed as he watched the clearly exhausted brunette continue to hobble forward. Alec’s eyes were all but closed as the swayed from side to side, unable to walk in a straight path. Caleb stayed at the brunette’s side, easing a hand on his shoulder to weave him in the direction of a fairly large factory.

            The building was tall, yellow, and pretty boarded up. The windows he could see where nothing but wood, nailed into the frame. A few words were painted on the sides of the walls as they trudged past, and Caleb couldn’t stop the sigh which escaped his lips. Even when the world was ending, humans still had to vandalize things, and tag walls with their graffiti and paint.

            The brunette was quickly losing adrenaline and steam, starting to sag toward the ground. Caleb caught him with a an arm thrown around the brunette’s waist, hugging him toward him, which was a little awkward due to the fact Alec was slightly taller than him. The AK poked out of the half-closed duffel and everything threatened to fall away, but he managed to shift his movements enough that the bag stayed on his left shoulder while his right arm wrapped around the brunette, keeping him upright.

            With a look skyward, he sighed and helped Alec toward the front entrance of the building. There he found a pitiful attempt at a barricade, which seemed to have been easily pushed through. The wood was jagged and broken, and one door stood slightly ajar, lightly swaying in the gentle breeze filtrating around them. Caleb kicked the door open and eased himself and Alec through the opening, into the awaiting darkness.

            “Caleb?” came half-aware voice, and he found exhausted hazel eyes watching him. “Where…? What…?” The brunette made a half-hearted attempt to get away from him, but Caleb kept his arm wound tight around his friend’s waist, holding him still.

            “You’re tired, babe,” he said, smiling. “It’s okay. We’re okay for now. Just take it easy. I’ve got first watch.”

            Alec opened his mouth, like he wanted to argue – and Caleb knew he did – but then he snapped it closed again and gave into a sharp, quick nod. Caleb frowned and stopped walking, near the center of the large, dark room, surrounded in darkness for the most part, and allowed his grip on the brunette to falter just enough that Alec slid to the floor in a seated position, back against a beam holding the higher floor up. A few feet away was another one, and further on down, there were more. They were fairly wide and rectangular, the support beams.

            “How are you?” Caleb asked as he knelt in front of the brunette, shrugging off the duffel. The AK fell out and clattered to the ground, causing him to scowl at its dark outline.

            “How are _you_?” Alec shot back.

            Caleb wasn’t sure if the inquiry was sincere, or if Alec was simply mocking him. So he simply smiled and said, “I’m great, babe. But you should probably get some rest – doctor’s orders.”

 

 

Alec almost scoffed at the blonde’s words, but managed to hold it in only because the muscles involved with the sound might agitate his already sore and healing injuries.

            “You’re not a doctor,” he said finally, looking through the veil of shadows at the somewhat distorted face of Caleb, face cast in shadows. The green eyes stood out, though, and he focused on them.

            “Quiet, you,” the blonde said, jabbing at the brunette’s forehead with his index finger. “Or I’ll make a patient out of you, do you hear me?”

            “I’m so scared.”

            “Sarcasm? That’s okay. I’m sure I can cure that, too.”

            “Oh, can you?” The smile on his face almost hurt, but was somehow worth it when the blonde released a brief, amused grunt.

“You bet your ass I can, babe. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but, I’m _pretty_ awesome.”

            Alec snorted out a quick laugh, leaving Caleb grinning widely. He could just make out the curve of the blonde’s lips in this horrible lighting.

            “I hate to break this to you…but you might be a bit conceited,” he said, smirking.

            “Only a bit? Damn. I’ll have to work harder.”

            “Jerk.”

A hand lightly shoved at his shoulder, and he responded in kind, shoving back at the blonde.

            The playful moment did not last, however. Alec knew it would not. That did not mean he wasn’t willing it to last longer, though. Caleb sighed and sat back on his heels, away from Alec and away from their playful shoving, and the moment was over, Alec knew.

            He yawned rather loudly, and grunted at the end, pain slowly eating its ways through him. Everything hurt, everything was sore, and try as he might to continue to ignore it, everything was really beginning to take its toll.    

“I’m so tired,” the brunette said. “I don’t know why. We barely walked!”

            “We walked a good five hours,” Caleb told him. “And I told you to take it easy.”

            “But I’m okay!”

            “No,” Caleb said, shaking his head, “you’re not. You’re getting better but right now your body is exhausted. I’m pretty sure I told you to go to _sleep_.”

            Alec paused and sighed, knowing Caleb was right. He couldn’t argue even if he wanted to, because his eyelids were already sliding closed as though heavy weights were pressed onto them, and he no longer had the ability to open his eyes. Movement in his fingers and toes ceased as his hands went limp at his sides. His head lolled back and to the right slightly, from where he leaned against the beam, mostly in a half-reclined, half-sitting position. It wasn’t entirely comfortable but it was better than nothing, and at the moment, he found he did not want to move.

            He heard Caleb moving around, sometimes further away but usually close to him, rifling through the duffel and knocking the AK across the floor. He wanted to see what he was doing, or at least ask him, but his body refused to cooperate at the moment. A few minutes of silence passed and he finally managed to start to drift away…

            _“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“For me.”_

_“I think I might be bitten.”_

_“I head-butted a zephro.”_

_“Babe, stop.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“I’m not going to make you watch me die.”_

_“Call me Cal.”_

_“Talk to me.”_

_“I won’t let you die.”_

            With a gasp, Alec’s eyes snapped open and he sat up more, back stiff and straight, rigid, his hands splayed out at his sides, half-holding him up as his palms pressed into the cool ground beneath him. Exhaustion weighed at his mind but not more than the urgency which coursed through his veins, leaving him released a somewhat strangled sigh as he quickly looked around.

            Caleb rushed to his side, green eyes narrowed, brow creased. “You okay, babe?” he asked in that familiar voice, and Alec closed his eyes, taking in a few slow, deep breaths.

            _It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything’s okay, Alec, get a grip._

            Except it wasn’t that easy, because every time he opened his eyes, he saw-

            _Fever-glazed brown eyes…_

_Fever-glazed green eyes…_

_“I’m not going to make you watch me die.”_

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“Don’t go.”_

_“I won’t let you die.”_

            “Babe!”

            A hand held tight to his shoulder, grounding him in reality, and he blinked several times before he managed to focus on Caleb. The concern on the blonde’s face was palpable. “I… I’m okay,” he said, but even to himself, it was unconvincing. He leaned back into the beam, sighing, no longer hunched forward.

            “Something wrong, babe?” Caleb asked, frowning, bright eyes staring at him through the veil of darkness surrounding them, watching him.

            “I can’t sleep.” The words tumbled from his mouth before he even realized he was speaking.

            A faint smile crossed Caleb’s lips. “Trust me – you will. You can. Your body demands it.”

            “ _No_ ,” Alec said, with such conviction it left the smile slipping away, green eyes blinking at the change in tone.

            “No?”

            “I can’t sleep,” Alec said again, shaking his head as he leaned back further into the beam, as though if he simply did it enough, he could get away from everything. However, that wasn’t the case. “I know my body is gonna, like…shut down on me at some point, or something, but… _fuck_ , okay, all I can fucking _think about_ is… _gahhh_!”

            With a growl he brought his hands up and tugged harshly at the strands of hair he caught between his fingers, yanking for all he was worth, because this was _ridiculous_. A moment later, he sighed and dropped his hands back to his sides, hair effectively disheveled.

            “You okay, babe?” Caleb asked, having been watching him all the while, a small frown on his face.

            The horrible, dim, dying light of the building, granted to them only from the cracks in the boarded up windows, sunlight fading into the distance, left the green eyes sparkling as they snapped toward Alec’s face. Shadows danced across the blonde’s own face, the frown deepening when Alec snapped his mouth shut and clenched his jaw, a muscle ticking violently away inside.

            “I can’t sleep,” Alec said finally, after a pause, and this time it almost sounded _pathetic_. “I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I want to sleep but I _can’t_.”

            Caleb slid a little closer, lightly touching a hand to the brunette’s shoulder. At the touch, Alec seemed to sigh a little and relax. He wasn’t sure why this worked – wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt better than he had mere seconds ago, but it worked and right now, he wouldn’t question it. For a moment nothing was spoken between the two of them, before Caleb decided sighed and slid a little closer, arms wrapping around the brunette like a safe blanket.

            Belatedly, Alec realized this was what he needed. A hug. A tight, firm, comforting hug, because he’d been through a lot lately. He’d seen the process of the bite so many times, but it brought all those horrible memories to the surface, and no one would or could help him. First his family, then Silas, and then Caleb…

            Except Caleb lived.

            Despite this fact, the experience had shaken the brunette more than he cared to show, or even acknowledge. While he acted okay, and wanted to think he was okay, there was no denying something was _wrong_. It screamed through him, shouting for attention, and right now, in this moment, he found he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

            How could he, when Caleb was doing everything he wanted, _needed_ , before he even realized it himself?

            “It’s okay,” the blonde whispered into his ear, hugging the brunette to him.

            The litany of comforting words continued, a steady stream slowly lulling him toward unconsciousness.

            “You’re okay, babe, just calm down, yeah?”

            “Sleep for me, babe.”

            “It’s okay, Alec – it’s okay now.”

            Then there was a faint pause.

            “You’re okay now – I promise.”

            At this, Alec allowed his heavy eyelids to close, and into the awaiting darkness he went.

            Except this time…he didn’t feel so alone.


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Grateful

Chapter Sixteen: Grateful

 

 

Alec woke early the next morning, feeling a little sore but otherwise better than he had in days. His neck was stiff from its lolled position against the beam, but otherwise, he felt refreshed and awake. The warmth pressed against his side left him trying to turn his head somewhat to look, but his head wound up knocking against a tussled mass of strawberry blonde hair, leaving him rolling his head back into the previous position, shifting only his eyes instead. Caleb’s head rested against his shoulder, the blonde leaning into him as he slept soundly, one of his arms thrown across Alec’s chest, fingers lightly clutching at the brunette’s shirt.

            For a moment, Alec simply watched his friend. Strands of blonde hair fell across the pale, slack face, serenity the only expression to be found there. Vaguely, Alec remember the night before, the way he was unable to sleep for the longest time, despite how exhausted he felt. As soon as he closed his eyes, he kept _remembering_ , remembering how he failed as a friend to Silas, remembering how close the same fate – sans knife – almost befell Caleb as well. Even though he _knew_ it was over, _knew_ Silas was gone, and _knew_ Caleb was okay, that didn’t stop his reaction to the memories playing over and over in his head.

            But when he finally _did_ fall asleep, lulled into the darkness via Caleb’s soothing, rumbling voice and words, there were no dreams. There were no nightmares, no dreams, and no sense of urgency. He slept soundly and deeply, better than he had in a long time, and now he felt far better than he thought he would.

            A part of him would admit to the fact that Caleb’s presence helped, forever constant due to the fact the blonde was touching him all night. He had to admit the nightmares happened less often when the blonde was around, and more so when Caleb wasn’t nearby, or touching him. Not that he would ever admit the fact aloud, because really, he wasn’t weak. He just had a momentary lapse of reason, a fracture in his damaged shields, but that was okay. He was better now, and he didn’t need this.

            Lightly, he shook the blonde, hand on his shoulder. Tired blue eyes fluttered open a crack, before they widened in recognition, and Caleb shifted away from him, releasing him immediately. Alec knew that would happen, and knew it was probably why he woke him in the first place – he didn’t _need_ contact, damn it – but he could not stop the sharp disappointment which stabbed through him at the loss of contact.

            “How are you feeling?” Caleb asked through a wide yawn, and Alec couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face, because _of course_ the blonde’s first words were about his well-being.

            “I’m fine,” Alec said, shrugging. “How are you? Did you…sleep okay?”

            Caleb shrugged. “Good enough,” he replied, eying him. “How about you?”

            “Neck’s a little stiff,” he said, “but otherwise, it was okay. Um…” He took in a slow breath. “Thanks. For, um…”

            “Don’t mention it,” the blonde told him, smirking faintly. He got to his feet and stretched before he knelt next to the duffel and pried it open. “Babe, we’re out of pretty much everything.”

            “I know,” Alec groaned.

            _And I’m actually hungry._

            The thought penetrated his mind and he frowned somewhat. He’d eaten the last of the food before they left that small room, but he hadn’t been particularly hungry at the time. Caleb simply insisted, and at the time, he didn’t have the heart to say no. But now he worried he’d stolen all the food and the blonde had only given it to him out of a sense of duty, since he was proclaiming himself as the ‘doctor’ now. He couldn’t remember the last time the blonde actually ate something, so he had no right to be hungry himself. He knew it had to be worse for Caleb.

            Caleb stood from the bag, hand absently holding the grip of the AK, letting it hang by his side. He chewed thoughtfully on his lip before he sighed and glanced at Alec. “I’ll go look around,” he said. “You should stay here and rest.”

            Alec narrowed his eyes. “I’m not an invalid,” he couldn’t help but hiss, because it felt like Caleb was babying him or something. He’d never liked that – not from Silas, and not from Caleb. He could take care of himself, after all.

            “I know you’re not,” Caleb said calmly, “but I don’t see any reason for both of us to go. I think we should stay here for a few days, at least.” He combed his free hand through his hair, tussling the locks. “I think there’s a river nearby, but I’m not sure. If so, there should be some fish, and, you know, water.”

            Alec nodded slowly. “I’ll go with you.”

            “I don’t think that’s necessary, Alec.”

            “Yeah, well, I think it is, so I’m going.”

            Caleb sighed and then smirked. “You’re kind of stubborn, you know that?”

            Alec flashed him a quick grin, getting to his feet. “Thanks.”

            Caleb shrugged and started walking away. Alec quickly fished out his knife and frowned as his hand rested over the pistol. Then he shrugged and picked it up, because it was better to have it and not need it than vice versa. Better safe than sorry, and while he wasn’t a good shot, it might come in handy.

            Then he turned and followed Caleb out of the building. The air was nice outside, a breezy yet warm day, the sun high and bright in the sky. Puffy white clouds lazily rolled by, casting shadows over the ground. Grass stood at attention around the building, poking out of the cement which used to be a parking lot.

No one mowed the lawn anymore, after all. For one, it was too noisy and captured too much attention. It also wasted fuel, which, at the time, had been saved for more vital purposes, such as fueling hospital vehicles and whatnot. Not that it mattered now, though, because no one did anything like that anymore. After eight years of this hell, no one bothered to use gas. Gas stations shut down, people left town, and entire cities had been known to be abandoned. Vehicles weren’t used, and neither were bicycles, for the most part. The most common way to travel was by foot. Some people had horses, but horses spooked easily, and had been known to take off when the mutations arrived, leaving their masters behind to die.

It felt like this wasn’t Earth anymore. It wasn’t the life Alec had been born into, but some broken facsimile of one. The days of school, homework, carpooling, and soccer were so far away. It might as well have been a lifetime ago. Now things were so much different, and while it had been six years since he accepted his fate to live in this world and eventually die some painful death, he still didn’t know what to do or how to behave. Did he sit down and cry, lamenting the life he could have had if none of this had happened? Did he mourn the death of so many people he didn’t know? Did he rage and curse the experimental procedures which caused all of this to happen? Did he rebel against the government for hiding everything for so long?

He didn’t know what to do. For six years, he’d been wondering. But there’d always been that slightest bit of hope – maybe things would one day return to normal. Silas used to talk about it all the time, about how he would start a new life in some sunny location and live out his days enjoying the fact that he’d been through hell and back, and he’d survived. Alec, of course, had been less enthusiastic about it, because how could things ever be okay when so many had died? That didn’t stop Silas from being optimistic, though.

But if things _did_ one day get better…what would he do? What _could_ he do?

He couldn’t start a new life after all that had happened. He couldn’t settle down and enjoy life like he hadn’t lost everyone who mattered, like the world hadn’t, for all intents and purposes, ended. There was no going back from this. There was no transition into normal life, because even if things _did_ one day turn out okay, he wasn’t sure how to act in normal situations anymore. He was a changed person.

He was changed and while he missed how things used to be, they would never be the same again.

“Babe?”

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder and he blinked, focusing on the pale face in front of him. “Hmm?”

“You okay? Been calling your name for the past two minutes,” Caleb said worriedly, frowning at him.

Alec shook his head. “I’m okay, just…thinking.”

“About?”

He bit down on his lower lip, hesitating, before he shrugged. “Just about how everything’s changed. It’s never going to be like it was before, is it?”

Caleb smiled sadly. “Probably not, babe. Sorry.”

Alec sighed. “It’s fine. Just…I wouldn’t know how to act if it did, anyway. So it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Caleb said. “It’s just hard. But I do think things will get better one day.”

“Oh?”

The blonde nodded. “Yeah. I mean – they can’t stay bad forever, right?”

The brunette said nothing.

“Things will start looking up eventually.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asked, because he wasn’t sure anything would _ever_ get better. Life still sucked, the mutations were still out there, and it didn’t look like things were going to change anytime soon.

Caleb frowned somewhat. “I don’t know. I guess… I just have to believe it’ll get better, you know? Otherwise… what’s the point?”

Alec found he had no response to that.

 

 

There was indeed a river nearby, just a few blocks away from the building. The path there was easy and there didn’t appear to be any mutations around, for which Alec was grateful. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face more just yet. Thankfully, everything appeared peaceful, and he stood at the river’s edge, staring down at the murky, less-than-blue water, his reflection frowning back at him. He startled when Caleb’s reflection appeared next to him, and glanced over at his friend.

“We can catch fish for food and start a fire, if you want,” the blonde suggested, watching him.

Alec nodded. “Sure,” he said. “Sounds good.”

“Just keep any eye out for the mutations – they might like the smell of the food or something.”

_Didn’t think about that. Crap._

“Okay. I’ll cook and you can take watch?”

Caleb smiled. “Sounds good,” he said, and Alec nodded gratefully. He was a horrible shot, after all.

“Do you think they’ll be any trouble today?”

“Not sure. I haven’t seen any around yet, but that could change. They probably migrate as much as we do.”

“Yeah – guess so. So how did you want to catch these fish?”

It wasn’t like they had any fishing poles, after all.

Caleb held out a stick. “Borrow your knife?”

Alec’s breath caught in his throat and he had a hard time swallowing. Palms suddenly sweaty, he reached for his knife and held it out for the blonde. If Caleb saw his hands shaking, he didn’t say anything as he grabbed it. Alec found he had a hard time letting go, but he managed to release it.

“I won’t let anything happen to it,” Caleb promised.

Alec nodded and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Stupid to worry about it, I know, but…”

“It’s a gift from your friend,” Caleb said quietly. “I know it means a lot to you. I won’t let anything happen to it. I just need it for a minute.”

“I know,” Alec said, his voice just as soft. “I trust you.”

_I trust you with my knife. God, I’m fucked up if that’s what I’m worried about._

Caleb smiled, and Alec found himself returning it. “I’ll treat it like my child.”

Alec smirked. “Alright, Caleb.”

“Cal.”

“Hmm?”

“I told you to call me Cal.”

“Oh. Do you prefer it over Caleb?”

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t care, really, but I feel we’re close enough you can call me Cal.” Now his eyes averted and stared at the ground. His grip on the blade’s handle tightened, knuckles turning white. “Of course, that’s up to you.”

“I like Cal,” Alec said, and then felt the blood rush to his face because that sounded stupid. “I mean… well, yeah. I like the name Cal.”

“Sorry if I… well, I just…” The blonde sighed and scrubbed his free hand across his face. It was then the brunette realized he wasn’t holding the AK-47. “Okay, so. Being called Cal makes me think of, well… before all _this_ happened. You know?”

Alec nodded slowly. “Yeah… I do.”

“Right, so… Yeah. Anyway… Do you have something you’d like to be called? Or do you just prefer Alec? Any nickname you want?” Green eyes latched onto his own hazel ones and he found himself freezing.

“Uh…”

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

He snapped his eyes shut and sighed. “Not really.”

“Nothing?”

“I’m kind of getting used to babe…”

And oh, God, that sounded so creepy. The blood rushed to his face again and he was sure he resembled a tomato at the moment. He looked at the ground and opened his eyes.

“I mean…well…”

Caleb chuckled. “Alright, babe. You’re babe to me.”

When Caleb said it, it didn’t sound so creepy after all.

“Why babe, though?” he couldn’t help but ask, dragging his gaze from the ground toward his friend’s face.

The blonde gave into a lazy shrug. “No reason, really. I just call everyone that. Kind of like how a lot of people might call people ‘buddy’, I guess. No big deal.”

“Oh.”

He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason, that made him deflate a little. It made no sense for him to do so, but he did it nevertheless. ‘Babe’ meant nothing, but it wasn’t like he thought it meant anything anyway, so it didn’t really matter. Right?

_Okay. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. Sheesh._

“Anyway… I’ll get to work, then,” Caleb said, turning as he began to walk away.

Alec watched him go, and sighed as he looked out over the water again.

 

 

Almost an hour later, Alec found himself devouring a delicious fish, throwing his head back and moaning at the taste. “Oh, God, this is so good,” he said, chewing slowly, savoring each bite because it had been a long time since he’d had anything even halfway decent, let alone this _good_.

“You did a nice job cooking,” Caleb said, enjoying his own fish.

They ate in silence for about ten minutes, before Caleb lay back in the grass, releasing a contented sigh. One arm folded behind his head in an easy pillow and he stared up at the sky. Alec himself looked up and almost smiled. The sun was nearly gone now, and he could see the faint glimmer of stars, and the slight outline of the moon.

No mutations had shown themselves as the fish cooked, for which Alec was grateful. They didn’t have much ammo left and he didn’t want to waste it simply because they decided to cook some fish. At least his stomach was happy at the moment, and he’d seen Caleb eat so he knew the blonde was fed. He wasn’t entirely sure why that was important, but it was, and for now he wouldn’t question it.

Although they’d eaten, they still had a few problems. They were still almost out of ammo, and they were practically out of medical supplies. They were low on everything, really. Besides what they’d eaten, there was no food. It reminded Alec of the early days after the mutations were announced and became serious threats to the general public. He remembered when the killings started in his small town, and how everyone flooded the grocery stores to stockpile food. Soon, though, the food was all gone and many had gone hungry. Everything became hard to find, with everyone fighting for it.

 _Only the strong survive,_ Alec remembered hearing from several angry, slightly vicious people, back in the early years.

_If that’s true… then why did Silas die? He was always stronger than me._

He didn’t want to think about it, though. Snapping his eyes closed, he tried to rid his mind of those thoughts and memories, because he was tired of them repeating behind his closed eyelids. He was tired of seeing Silas’ pale, desperate face as he all but begged Alec to end everything. So tired of seeing it, of hearing that voice in his head, of _knowing_ what happened next…knowing how it ended…

“Babe?”

He blinked his eyes open and found green eyes abnormally close to his own, Caleb practically breathing down his face. With a yelp, he staggered backward, falling off the log he’d managed to seat himself on, tumbling to his ass. Caleb smiled faintly.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Alec mumbled. “Just thinking.”

Caleb nodded and gestured to the side. “Your knife’s right there – safe and sound.”

The brunette glanced over and scooted until he was close enough to pick up the blade. “Thanks,” he said quietly. The blonde had used it to sharpen a stick enough to stab fish with it, which was how they’d gotten their food. “How did you know to do that?”

Caleb tossed him a tired smile. “After all the years, I learned to do survive on my own. Fish was always good, when I found some. At least some of the world is still thriving, huh? Plus, I was a boy scout.”

Alec stared at him and couldn’t stop the laugh from bubbling out of his throat. “You? A boy scout?”

“Why is that so hard to believe? Yes, I was.”

“Are you _serious_?”

“Yes! Well…for a few weeks anyway. Got kicked out.”

“How?”

Caleb averted his gaze and shrugged somewhat. “I got sick,” he said simply, and Alec frowned at him.

“Sick?”

“Yeah, and some of the kids didn’t like it. Got into some fights over it, and…well, they said I wasn’t ‘right’ for the scouts. So, whatever, right?”

The slight bitterness in the blonde’s words left Alec biting on his lower lip, wondering what to say. A part of him wanted to reassure the blonde, but another part of him wondered why he even cared.

 _Because he’s my friend,_ he told himself. _My first friend in six years. Since Silas. And that’s important to me._

And it was. Very important.

“I’m sorry,” he found himself saying.

Caleb waved a hand at him. “It’s in the past, it’s fine.”

“…Still hurts, though.”

A pause.

“Sometimes,” the blonde admitted, before shaking his head. “But it’s okay. I’m over it. Anyway, I picked up a few survival techniques there, and they’ve proven to be quite vital the past few years. So I guess I’m thankful I learned something there.”

Alec nodded and found himself quietly resting a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. Caleb glanced at him briefly, green eyes searching hazel, before he sighed and looked back up at the sky.

 

 

For the next three days, they continued this pattern. They’d return to the building at night, taking shifts to sleep and guard, and then the next day they’d go to the river and catch some fish. They’d eat well and talking for a while, before they retired back to the building for some much-needed sleep. So far, the mutations stayed away and they wasted no ammo. Twice, they wandered around before going to the river, but found little to be in town. Thus far they’d found no supplies, but at least they had food.

Hopefully they wouldn’t need to use the supplies for a while, so it was okay that they didn’t have much. Things were quiet and peaceful for now, and while Alec was enjoying it, it did make him more than a little nervous. He’d practically learned to live by the rule of the ‘calm before the storm’, and that was exactly what this felt like.

Things had been going great the past few days. He and Caleb talked and while they both still had secrets, Alec trusted the blonde. Trusted him more than he had anyone in a long time. The last person he’d felt like this with had been Silas, but he didn’t really want to think about it, at least not right now. Caleb never pressured him into talking about Silas, but he found that his former friend was a topic of conversation more often than not.

“Silas liked to use knives,” Alec would say. “He loved knives and was pretty good with them. Helped me learn to use them, after everything happened.”

“Silas gave me the knife for my fifteenth birthday. I don’t even know where or how he got it, but… it was a surprise, to say the least. But I loved it.”

“Silas was a few months older than me. I didn’t get him anything for his birthday… I’m not even sure why, now. I guess I didn’t think it was important, you know? Because… Because so much had happened, and… I didn’t think anyone felt like celebrating. But then he got me the knife, and… Hell, I even forgot it was my own damn birthday.”

Caleb never stopped him from talking about his friend. He never once told him to stop, asked him to change the subject, or pressed him into telling him more. He never asked about how Silas died. He never suspected it wasn’t from the bite, but from Alec’s own hand… with his birthday gift…

He never suspected and never questioned, only listened and commented occasionally. He was a good sounding board.

Alec hadn’t even realized he’d been feeling a different type of guilt all these years until Caleb told him so.

“You feel horrible because Silas got you a gift and you didn’t get him one, and then you never got to return the favor, because shit went to hell,” the blonde had told him, after he’d told him about how Silas got him the knife for his birthday. “But it’s okay, because I’m sure you had your reasons, and he knew that and understood. I’m sure he forgives you. If he doesn’t… well, then maybe he wasn’t the friend you thought he was.”

And yes, Alec _did_ feel horrible about not getting Silas something, but at the time, he’d been consumed with grief and a sense of fatigue he didn’t entirely understand. He’d lost his family, one by one, to zephro bites. He hadn’t wanted to celebrate anything. Why celebrate life when there was so much death around them? Silas never mentioned his birthday, never said he wanted anything or that he wanted to celebrate, so Alec thought they were on the same page. Until Silas got him that knife, of course.

And then Silas went and got bitten, and begged Alec to end everything with his birthday gift.

But whenever these thoughts occurred, Caleb seemed to realize, and was there to distract him. Alec found himself immensely grateful for this, though he never voiced it to the blonde.

Their friendship was a little odd, but good nevertheless. Alec enjoyed spending time with the blonde, and hoped the feeling was mutual.

It was after those three days that Alec realized that, while he was yammering on and on about things about his life, Caleb remained pretty silent on the matter. He knew pretty much next to nothing about the blonde.

“What about you?” he found himself asking one day, around the small fire where the fish was cooking. “Anything interesting?”

Caleb stared into the flickering flames for a long moment, before he sighed and frowned somewhat. “I died when I was almost ten.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Confession

Chapter Seventeen: Confession

 

 

For a long moment, Alec said nothing. Surely he heard the blonde wrong, right? There was no way he just said… “W-What?” he found himself stammering, staring at him.

Caleb shrugged and turned so he was facing him. “I died when I was almost ten,” he repeated, voice carefully controlled, eyes dark and guarded, like there was some kind of shutter brought down in them. Alec could read nothing on his face – no deception, but no feeling either. Just an odd sense of cold apathy, and he felt a chill crawling up his spine.

“Cal?” he whispered, hazel eyes searching his friend’s face.

“I got sick when I was eight,” Caleb murmured. “We didn’t think it was bad at first. The doctors were… They were hopeful. Said I had a good chance, you know? But… well, things happen, I guess.”

“What do you mean? How did you… How did you _die_?” he asked, and found he hated the word but forced himself to use it anyway.

_How did you die? You’re okay right now…so you didn’t die. Right?_

            He had to have heard wrong. Perhaps Caleb meant something else, even though Alec wasn’t sure there was really an alternate meaning of the word ‘die’. The blonde hesitated, averting his gaze yet again. Caleb usually had no problem looking at him when he spoke, so the fact he _wasn’t_ was more than a little off-putting.

            “I was okay for a while… everyone thought I was getting better,” Caleb said slowly, gaze firmly locked on the ground, that detached tone leaving shivers sprinting down Alec’s spine. He scooted closer to his friend due to the way the blonde’s voice seemed to be lowering. “It was just a stupid cold… but with my weakened immune system… well, my lungs decided to shut down, and…” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

            Alec wasn’t sure when his hand moved, but it now rested on Caleb’s shoulder. “Weakened immune system?” he asked, frowning.

            “I had leukemia,” the blonde muttered, shrugging helplessly.

            Alec stared at him because he was sure he heard wrong. “Leukemia? What…? How?”

            “I was diagnosed when I was eight. It got bad when I was almost ten, and… for a few months I was okay, but then I got sick. Stupid cold, that was it, and… well, I guess my body couldn’t take it.”

            “You _died_?” Alec asked, unable to wrap his mind around it at the moment – not when he was faced with a very much _alive_ Caleb.

            “Yeah, I did,” Caleb said with a brief nod. “For four minutes I was legally dead, you know? But… they got me back, in the end. Said it was only temporary, though. It weakened my body too much, so… they recommended that I stop the leukemia treatment and ‘make myself comfortable’.”

            The disdain and bitterness in the blonde’s voice left Alec scowling. “They just… what? _Gave up_?”

            “Pretty much,” Caleb agreed, before looking back up at Alec. “Anyway. That’s all that’s interesting about me. Are you ready to go?”

            “What? But… How are you okay now? You _are_ okay now, right?” Was he going to have to start looking for signs of leukemia? Crap, he couldn’t even _remember_ the signs. This was ridiculous! Caleb didn’t look sick, beyond the pallor of his skin but that was to be expected after all they’d been through. Despite that brief time in the cells, and then after the blonde head-butted a zephro, he never appeared to have a fever or anything. He was usually lively and full of mystery – not _sick_.

            “I’m okay now,” Caleb confirmed with a quick nod, smiling faintly. “I’ve been okay for a while now. Are you ready to go?”

            Alec sighed and nodded, sure that this conversation was over. Fine, if the blonde didn’t wish to discuss it, he could live with that. He didn’t have to worry about him being sick anymore, so that was good. It did make him curious, but he’d stay quiet for now, and put this piece of information in the puzzle that was _Caleb_. Another piece of information which helped him put the pieces together and see who Caleb really was, even though the man was pretty much still a mystery to him.

            Quietly, they packed up their things, stomped out the fire, and left the river.

 

 

Caleb didn’t like lying to Alec, but there was a part of him he wasn’t quite willing to share just yet. It was a piece of information he hadn’t shared with _anyone_ , other than the people involved, but it wasn’t like he’d seen any of them lately. He hadn’t seen them in years.

            Currently, though, he had other things to worry about, such as the fact that as soon as they pushed open the door to the building, the blonde was tackled to the ground by the snarling form of an angry zephro. The AK went flying across the floor and Alec dropped the duffel in surprise.

            Teeth snapped viciously at Caleb’s neck. He shoved an arm up and elbowed the mutation in the throat, leaving it snarling even more as he wriggled out from under it. Quickly, his gaze darted to his gun and then back to the zephro as it lunged at him again. Claws slashed into his ankle, the long appendages wrapping around the skin and pulling, clawing, yanking him toward the mouth with gaped open and-

            Alec’s foot came crashing down against the side of the zephro’s head, leaving it howling as it tumbled away, thankfully releasing Caleb. The blonde stared down in shock at his ankle, because this was new. Definitely new. Was this even possible?

            “Gun,” he croaked when the mutation turned its eyes back onto him.

            Alec leapt sideways and kicked the AK toward him. In his hand he held his knife, which he twirled deftly and lumbered toward the zephro while Caleb crawled toward his gun, yanking it toward him. He lifted the gun to aim it at the zephro’s head but the mutation simply jumped onto Alec, leaving Caleb with a less-than-clear shot, and he couldn’t chance hitting the brunette. Growling, he jumped to his feet.

            Alec’s blade disappeared to the hilt in the mutation’s stomach, and it howled and leapt away, glancing down at the blood oozing from around the blade still lodged in its body. Alec climbed to his feet and Caleb hurried forward, standing between the brunette and the zephro.

            Wounded zephroes were the most dangerous, after all. And now Alec was without a weapon.

            The sound of grass breaking startled the blonde so much his gun shifted before he fired, the bullets soaring over the mutation’s head. Another zephro snarled and lunged at them from the darkness, bits of broken glass lining its thick, mutated flesh.

            _Damn it._

            Caleb whipped his head around to face the new zephro, rapidly firing the AK, the gun’s sharp report bouncing off the walls, loud within the confined space, though large it was. At his side, Alec growled and fired at the other zephro, the one which still had his knife imbedded in its stomach. The _pop-pop_ of the pistol was drowned out by the drone of the AK, and the zephro Caleb was shooting at dropped.

            “No!” Alec hissed, and the blonde snapped his head around to find the other zephro gone. A trail of blood led out the door, then stopped a few feet away, no more drips visible. Alec rushed out the door and followed the drops to the end of the trail, hands coming up to yank at his hair as he released a growl. “No! Fuck!”

            “Babe?” Caleb asked as he reloaded his gun. This was the last ammo clip and it would soon be gone, which made him irritated at the thought that his shock allowed him to miss the zephro the first time. That was wasted ammo! They didn’t have time for this.

            “My knife!” Alec said, spinning around to face him, eyes wide as he stared at him. “My fucking _knife_! It’s _gone_! That fucking zephro took off, and… Fuck!”

            “Babe, calm down,” Caleb said slowly, approaching him. His hand landed on the brunette’s shoulder, and he tried not to take it personally when Alec quickly shoved him off. “It’s okay – we’ll find your knife, okay?”

            “How?” Alec growled. “It’s fucking _gone_!”

            “We’ll find it,” Caleb said again. “Okay? It will fall out eventually. We’ll just… look for the zephro. There’s got to be more blood around here somewhere, okay? We’ll find it.”

            _Don’t make promises you can’t keep,_ a voice warned him.

            _I’m not. We’ll find that damn knife if it’s the last thing I do. He deserves a connection to his friend._

            He knew that knife was important – _vital_ – to the brunette, and he would do whatever he could to get it back for him.

            Even if that meant hunting down a zephro.

 

 

 _Gone_.

            Just _gone_.

            The knife was gone – _again_. _Silas’_ knife was gone. Fucking _again_.

            How could he lose that knife so much? Twice now, he’d had it taken from him, this time by his own doing. He stabbed that zephro and allowed it to pull away before he could yank his knife back out. Then he failed to kill it with the pistol, as the zephro had taken off pretty much as soon as he started shooting, and he wasn’t a great shot – he couldn’t really hit a moving target, especially not one moving that _fast_.

            That zephro was… different.

            The first clue was how it actually _gripped_ Caleb’s ankle – the fingers curled around his leg and pulled. That was new – that was _different_. Alec had never seen a mutation do that, except for some of the neutrohales, but the neutrohales were superior to the zephroes. They could actually _learn_ from their mistakes, which made them all the more deadly. As bad as the zephroes were, they had nothing on the neutrohales.

            The second clue was how _fast_ it moved. By definition, the zephroes were faster and more agile than the neutrohales, due to their smaller frame. They were also weaker than neutrohales. But this zephro was _different_ …

            He wanted to ask Caleb about it, but with the way he’d pretty much shrugged the guy off and snapped at him in the past hour, he wasn’t sure that was a great idea. He might wind up saying something he’d later regret. Best to just keep his mouth shut for now.

            Caleb had been nice to him – he didn’t want to snap at the guy again.

            The blonde, for his part, was quiet. Unusually so. Usually they talked while they walked, but this time they didn’t. Maybe it was because there could still potentially be mutations in the area, but Alec wasn’t so sure. Caleb didn’t seem tense or anything – his posture was more relaxed, so he didn’t think there were mutations nearby.

            _Wait._

            Hold up.

            Backtrack.

            Since when was he relying on Caleb’s _posture_ to tell if there was something around? Caleb was like him – they couldn’t tell if something was nearby. They were only human, after all. So why?

            His mind launched back to after they’d gotten out of the cells, back to when he went outside to find Caleb taking on five zephroes at once, and _winning_. He didn’t even break a sweat. What was up with that? Alec had questions, but at the time, he settled for not knowing. Now, though…

            He chewed on his lower lip. He couldn’t expect Caleb to tell his secrets if he didn’t first tell his own. Was he ready to mention Silas’ death? The _actual_ death, not the fact he was bitten? Was he ready to admit to being his best friend’s _executioner_?

            He wanted to know what Caleb was hiding… and he did want to get his past out in the open, instead of hiding behind it. The blonde probably thought him insane for getting so upset over a simple blade, but it was more than that, damn it.

            “Babe, calm down,” the blonde murmured, snapping Alec from his thoughts. He frowned and looked at his companion. Green eyes watched him closely. “It will be okay – alright?”

            “How can you be so sure?”

            “I’m just awesome like that,” Caleb said with a small smile, and Alec tried to smile back but was pretty sure he failed. “We’ll get the knife back, babe.”

            “Thanks,” he whispered quietly.

            The blonde nodded, and for a moment, the two walked in a companionable silence.

            “I did it,” Alec finally whispered, throat beginning to close, a lump stuck in there.

            “Hmm?” Green eyes snapped toward him again.

            “I did it,” he said again, a little louder this time.

            “Did what, babe?”

            Hazel eyes averted to the ground. “I… Silas.” A breath. “I did it. I killed him.”

            “Babe?”

            The confusion in the blonde’s voice left Alec slowing his pace, snapping his eyes shut. He dug the heel of his hand into his forehead, sighing.

            “I didn’t want to. Fuck, _I_ _didn’t want to_.”

            “I know,” Caleb said quietly, and a hand landed on his shoulder.

            He wanted to brush it off but let it stay for the time being, as it helped to ground him in the here and now, when…

            _“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“Just do it.”_

_“For me.”_

            “He was bitten… fucking _begged_ me to do it, man. _Begged_ me to do it. I said no, but…” He took in a slow breath. “But I did it in the end. I… I murdered him. My best fucking friend, and… and I _killed him_.”

            Caleb’s hand tightened on his shoulder and pulled him to a stop. Alec kept his gaze firmly planted on the ground, not wishing to look at the disgust which would be present in the blonde’s eyes. If Caleb looked at him like that, wanted nothing to do with him… he wasn’t sure what he’d do. Caleb was all he had right now. He didn’t even have his knife…

            “I did it with the knife,” he said. “The knife he got me for… for my birthday, and… I killed him with it. I just… I stabbed it into his chest, and…”

            _“Please ‘lec.”_

_“For me.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

            “Babe, it’s okay,” Caleb said, voice surprisingly gentle and lacking the hatred Alec was sure the blonde would feel. “Look at me.”

            Alec stared at the ground, slowly shaking his head. “I killed him…” His throat tightened and his eyes burned, leaving him swallowing back the shaky breath which threatened to be his undoing. “ _I killed him_ …”

            “No, babe, hey… look at me.” A pause. “Look at me, babe.” Fingers hooked under his chin, slowly dragging his head up. His eyes slowly focused on the blonde’s face. Caleb offered a faint smile, and there was no hatred in his eyes – only sympathy and… _compassion_. “It’s okay, Alec. I promise. It’s okay. Alright?”

            “I killed my best friend.”

            “I know, and I’m sorry,” Caleb said.

            Tears burned his eyes, even though it had been _years_ since he’d actually cried over Silas’ death, but now the memories bombarded him and it was all he could do to keep standing, his legs suddenly weak and shaky.

            And Caleb just kept watching him, expression open and sincere… and lacking any and all hatred and disgust.

            _Why don’t you hate me?_

            “I stabbed him… killed him… like he was nothing,” he murmured.

            “No, you didn’t, babe,” Caleb said calmly, thumb lightly rubbing a small circle on his shoulder. His other hand dropped away from Alec’s chin. “You did what he asked. You ended the pain. It’s okay.”

            “It’s not okay,” Alec choked, breaths suddenly ragged, because _fuck_ , how could Caleb not hate him? How could he say it was _okay_? How could he not hate him? “I killed…”

            “You _saved_ ,” Caleb corrected.

            A sob wrenched free of Alec’s chest, threating to overtake him, but he quickly swallowed the rest back. “I didn’t,” he protested weakly, “I… I killed him, and… my best friend, and… _I murdered him_ …”

            “You _saved_ him,” Caleb said, and suddenly Alec was wrapped in a bone-crushing hug, the blonde’s arms thrown around his neck and shoulders.

            For a moment, Alec simply stood there, rigid and tense, waiting for the ball to drop, but it never did. Nothing happened. Caleb simply hugged him a little tighter, and then started to pull away…

            Alec’s arms came around the blonde’s middle and held tight, unwilling to relinquish the contact just yet. Caleb didn’t hate him. Didn’t blame him, didn’t accuse him of murder…

            “You saved him from a painful death, Alec. It’s what he wanted. He doesn’t blame you – _I_ don’t blame you.”

            Hazel eyes slipped closed, holding back the burning wetness which threatened to spill over. “Why don’t you hate me?” he whispered roughly, face half-buried in the blonde’s right shoulder, voice muffled because of it.

            “Why would I hate you?”

            “Because I…”

            “Babe, stop.” Caleb pushed away from him, and this time Alec let him. Maybe Caleb hated him after all, but was just good at hiding it. Why would he want to be anywhere near Alec now that he knew the truth? Now that he knew Alec was a killer, just like the mutations…

            The blonde gripped his shoulders, holding him at arm’s length. Alec’s own arms dropped to his sides as he stared miserably at his friend. Was Caleb still his friend? Fuck, he didn’t know. Why would the blonde want to stick around after learning _this_?

            “I don’t hate you,” Caleb whispered. “I don’t blame you, and I don’t hate you. From what you’ve told me about Silas, I know he didn’t blame you either. It’s what he wanted – it’s okay. You granted his dying wish. You _saved_ him, babe – it’s okay.”

            Alec swallowed thickly, eyes wide as he stared at the blonde, heart racing in his chest. “You… accept this? Accept _me_? _Forgive_ me?”

            “Of course I do, babe,” Caleb said, smiling faintly. “I don’t think I could ever hate you. You only did as he asked. It’s okay.”

            _He doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t blame me._

            “I know it was hard to tell me that,” the blonde said, “but thank you, Alec. Thanks for telling me – for trusting me enough to tell me.”

            Alec bowed his head, heart clenching somewhat. He had ulterior motives in telling Caleb, he realized. He told him partly because he wanted to get it off his chest, wanted Caleb to understand why that knife was so damn important to him, but… He also did it because he wanted to know what the blonde was hiding, and couldn’t ask him about it until he told his own secret.

            _I’m a bastard…_

            “Yeah, well,” he murmured. “Thanks for, um… Thanks for listening. And… for not hating me.”

            Caleb’s hand squeezed his shoulder. “It will be okay, babe. We’ll find the knife. I promise.”

            Alec forced a smile, because the blonde was trying, and that was more than he could have asked for. “Okay,” he whispered.

            Caleb stepped back and stared at him for a long moment, leaving Alec frowning.

            “What?” he asked, a knot forming in his stomach.

            Caleb simply flashed him a smile and held out his arms. “Do you need another hug?” he asked, like he was simply asking the brunette if he wanted a cookie.

            Alec choked back a sob-laugh and was surprised when he found himself nodding.

            Once again, warm arms surrounded him, and for the first time in a long time… a weight was lifted, and he felt like things really would be okay.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Some Days

Chapter Eighteen: Some Days

 

 

Days passed mostly in a blur. They were mostly uneventful, although two more zephroes had shown up. Caleb took care of them rather quickly, rapidly firing the AK, but they were running out of ammo. Soon they would be out, and all they had left was a pistol. Alec didn’t have his knife, and thus far wasn’t any closer to actually finding it. They’d searched the area for more signs of blood or zephroes, but came up empty and eventually had to leave.

            Alec argued, wanted to stay, but gave in when Caleb gave him a look. He wasn’t sure what was in that look, but he caved and nodded, and soon the two departed. Maybe he just didn’t want to disappoint Caleb after the blonde willingly accepted him, accepted the fact he killed his best friend, and didn’t blame him.

            It still shocked him to realize this. Caleb didn’t hate him and didn’t blame him. It was like the talk never happened, except better somehow, because it was out in the open. They both knew and chose not to discuss it, but at least they knew. Alec’s secret was out and while he wanted to know what Caleb was hiding, he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Not when it was so hard for him to admit his own secret. He couldn’t expect Caleb to go through that as well – the fear of wondering if one was losing all they had left; the knowledge that if they did leave, they’d be alone; the guilt and anger, and hatred and betrayal…

            _Stop._

            Alec sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face, trying to shove the thoughts away, but they kept coming back. Caleb tossed him an odd look from where he stood at the edge of a beautiful lake. Waves crashed into the shore at his feet, splashing him, but he didn’t seem to care. A cool breeze lurched ripples across the surface of the water, peaceful from afar but loud once they crashed into the shore. All in all, it was peaceful. Birds chirped happily in the trees surrounding them, which they wouldn’t do if mutations were around, so Alec knew they were safe… for now.

            Some days were like this; He approached the blonde and joined him on the small, beach-like bit of land, waves crashing at his feet.

            “Think I’m gonna go for a swim,” Caleb said.

            Alec blinked, frowning. “What?”

            “A swim,” the blonde repeated, smirking at him. “You know, that thing where you flop around wildly in the water, for leisure?”

            Alec’s nose wrinkled. “I know what it is… I just, why swimming?”

            “Why not?”

            “We don’t know what’s in there.”

            “It’s a lake, Alec,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “It’s not a volcano. It’ll be fine, and it’s getting hot out, and I reek. Remind me to add clothes to the list, will you?”

            Alec sighed and nodded. Caleb was keeping a mental tally of what all they needed, the most pressing of which was food, ammo, and medical supplies. They had no food save for what they caught that day, or found, and the ammo was nearly gone. They had more medical supplies left but it would disappear quickly if one of them got hurt. Alec had bandaged the blonde’s ankle after the zephro had actually _grabbed_ it, leaving bloody trails in its wake. They were almost out of bandages, and disinfectant, and a multitude of other things.

            A headache formed behind his left eye and he clenched his teeth together. He didn’t need this stress right now, damn it. He had things to do.

            Caleb walked away from him, and Alec noticed that he’d ditched his pants, shoes and socks, and now was clad only in his underwear, a stylish pair of boxer shorts, navy blue in color. Next, the shirt was torn off, leaving Alec to star at the muscles flexing beneath that tight line of skin as Caleb pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it aside.

            He’d seen Caleb shirtless before, but not like this. Not out in the sun, when he looked so… _content_.

            For a long moment, Alec simply watched him. It wasn’t like he _meant_ to – he’d just never seen the blonde look so happy, so comfortable and at ease. He’d deny it if people said he was staring, but there was no one around to do so except Caleb, and the blonde was a little preoccupied at the moment. He waded out until he was about waist deep in the water, and then turned, gaze locking onto Alec’s, leave the brunette frozen.

            “The water’s warm,” Caleb called, waving him over. “C’mon!”

            “No thanks,” he said, shaking his head, looking away so as to hide the redness creeping into his face. Why was he… was he blushing? Why?

            _Sun. Heat stroke. Maybe I’m sick. Stomach hurts._

            He pressed a hand to his stomach and used his other hand to wave Caleb away. Caleb shrugged and then turned, diving into the water behind him, where he vanished from view with only a small splash. It was fine until the air bubbles stopped showing, and the blonde didn’t resurface.

            Alec jumped to his feet. “Caleb?” Heart slamming into his ribcage, he kicked off his shoes and socks and began wading into the water until the water touched his knees, not worrying about the fact his pants were getting soaked. “Caleb? Not funny, man, not cool. Caleb?”

            Alec jumped back, startled, when Caleb suddenly popped out of the water right in front of him. Startled so much he fell backward and went under, barely able to suppress the yelp before he did so. He jumped up coughing, spitting out water, while Caleb stood in front of him, smirking.

            “Told you the water was warm,” the blonde said, resting on his back, letting himself float. Alec used to try that all the time but somehow it never worked. Tehn again, he wasn’t particularly fond of pools, or water for that matter. He liked to fish, occasionally, and be _near_ water, but actually _in_ the water? That was another matter entirely.

            “I’ll get you for this,” Alec promised, narrowing his eyes.

            Caleb released a quick yelped before water drowned out the noise as Alec placed a hand on the blonde’s chest and shoved downward. A second later Caleb shot out of the water, spluttering, staring at Alec.

            The brunette shrugged.

            Caleb flashed him a wide, _eerie_ grin.

            “Oh, it’s _on_ now,” the blonde said.

            Alec stared.

            _What the hell did I just get myself into?_

 

 

Other days went like this…

            “Run!”

            _Tatta-tatta-tatta_ , went the AK, what little remained of their ammo. The zephro nearest dropped and Alec ran for all he was worth. At his heels was Caleb, eager to get out of there and not waste more ammunition. A cut on Alec’s arm bled freely, slicking his grip on the pistol with the red substance, and he anxiously looked back. Caleb was right behind him, and there were no zephroes in sight.

            Still he kept running. A few minutes later, they stopped to catch their breath. Sweat dotted Caleb’s forehead, dripping down his face, and Alec gripped at his wounded arm tightly.

            “How bad?” Caleb asked, frowning at him.

            “Not bad,” Alec replied. “It will stop bleeding in a minute.”

            It was just a simple cut, after all. Hadn’t even hurt that much, but the blood on his arm made the wound look worse than it was. Caleb moved toward him.

            “Let me see.”

            Alec released his hold on his arm and held it out for Caleb. The blonde grabbed his wrist and turned it this way and that, examining the cut, before he nodded and stepped away, releasing him.

            “It should be fine,” he said.

            Alec shrugged. “Think we lost them?”

            “For now,” Caleb said warily. “We’re pretty much out of ammo, babe.”

            “I know,” Alec muttered, sighing heavily.

            They were out of pretty much everything, and thus far, they hadn’t come across any supplies. Alec was beginning to wonder if there was even any supplies left to be found, or if everyone had taken everything already. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised – things could only last so long.

            “Can you make bullets?” Alec asked.

            “I can, it’s just complicated and takes a while, and I don’t really have what I need,” Caleb admitted.

            Alec sighed and nodded. “Well, we might have to resort to that soon.”

            He hoped it didn’t come to that, but it didn’t look like they were going to be finding anything any time soon.

 

 

One day, everything changed.

            Alec woke to find himself alone. He stared at the spot Caleb occupied the night before, stared at the AK sitting on the ground next to him. Stomach churning, he quickly sat up and looked around, but the blonde was nowhere in sight. They’d holed up in someone’s old basement for the night. Alec took first watch, going to sleep only when the blonde was awake and settled beside him, AK in hand.

            Ever since they got out of the cells, the two had not separated for any reason – save for when Caleb decided to be an idiot and take on the zephroes on his own simply because Alec himself was injured, nearly leading to the blonde’s death. His miraculous recovery was something Alec was still curious about, but he decided not to question it – for now. Right now he was just grateful he wasn’t alone.

            But now he was. For the first time since the cells, he woke alone. If one of them heard something out of the ordinary, they always woke the other so they could both be on guard and investigate if need be. Why hadn’t Caleb woken him?

            _You’re overreacting,_ his mind said. _He probably went to use the bathroom or something._

            Possible, yes, but unlikely. He would have taken the AK.

            _He probably left it for you._

            No. He was a terrible shot – Caleb knew that. He still would have woken Alec before he left. He wouldn’t just _take off_.

            Unless…

            Alec bit down on his lower lip.

            _He hates me. For killing Silas. He hates me. It just took him longer to realize…_

            Caleb had been so reassuring, so understanding… but now…

            But what had Alec expected? How could anyone accept someone who murdered their best friend? He was a killer – a cold-blooded killer, just like the mutations. Maybe even _worse_ than them, because he killed Silas by _choice_.

            Floorboards creaked above him and he slowly shifted toward the stairs, edging up them slowly. Voices echoed through the door.

            “…one here,” came Caleb’s voice, a low let distinct mumble. Instantly something in Alec calmed and he felt his muscles relax somewhat.

            “Is that so?” asked a voice he didn’t recognize, and he tensed again.

            “I’m alone,” Caleb said.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yep, totally alone. Which kind of sucks. I was with someone a few days ago but we got separated. You wouldn’t have seen him, have you? Red hair. Dark eyes. Way taller than me. I think he still has a baseball bat.”

            Alec frowned.

            _What the hell is he talking about?_

            A thud was heard on the other side of the door.

            “Take him,” said the unfamiliar voice.

            “Hey,” Caleb complained with a mild yelp as another thud was heard, “I bruise easily! Watch it! Jeez.”

            “Shuddup.”

            Another thud, then silence for a long moment. The floorboards creaked as footsteps echoed away from the door, and then another silence occupied the air. Alec threw the door open and stepped into the room, looking around. He found no one in sight, but no blood on the ground, either, which he took as a good sign.

            _“I’m alone,”_ Caleb had said.

            Shit.

            _Dammit, you’re not alone. Fuck. Okay. Where’d you go?_

            He darted down the hallway and managed to look out the window in time to see Caleb being shoved into a buggy, two horses pulling it. His wrists were bound in front of him and he had a dark bruise over his left eye, but otherwise looked unharmed.

            At least three men were with him. They climbed into the buggy as well, and then the horses were galloping down the street.

            Alec rushed outside just in time to see them round a corner and disappear from view. Growling to himself, he chased after it but the horses were too fast.

            “Wait!” he said, but no one heard him. “Caleb! Goddamn it!”

            He stopped a minute later, panting as he stared at the dust kicked up by the horses, leading into the distance. He’d never been the best runner, and he couldn’t keep up with horses running that quickly. Whoever those people were, they were in a hurry.

            _Who are you? Why take Caleb?_

            They took Caleb. Bound his wrists, just like before they were taken to the cells.

            A chill crawled down Alec’s spine.

            _Please don’t tell me there’s another crazy group of captors running around._

            If there was, Caleb was alone.

            _“I’m alone.”_

            _But you’re not… dammit, why didn’t you wake me?_

            He didn’t wish to be taken captive like Caleb had, but at least they would have been together. They had a better chance of surviving if they weren’t alone, after all. It was only logical, and yet Caleb said he was alone, and was taken by those people.

            Alec’s hands clenched into fists at his sides.

            _No. Fuck that. You’re my friend and I’m gonna find you. Not gonna let anyone else die, dammit._

            That thought in mind, he turned sharply and hurried back toward the house and into the basement to retrieve his things, before he set out to track down his friend.

 

 

 _“I’m alone,_ ” he said to those people.

            Caleb knew Alec was awake and most likely listening. He made a show of tripping and stumbling into the wall to cover up the quiet creak of the stairs. Then he was hit in the head and it became hard to think. The next few minutes passed in a blur, but when he regained clarity, he found himself in the back of a buggy with his hands bound in front of him. He stared down at the ropes and looked behind him, but they were running through streets he did not recognize.

            He looked at the faces of his attackers. The people didn’t seem cruel, at least not when he first ran into them. He tried to get away but they followed him, and threatened to look around for others but he calmly told them no one was around. Thankfully he was a pretty good liar, when it counted. He’d learned that was a necessary trick long ago.

            At least Alec was okay, but that was little comfort at the moment. He had no idea what was going to happen next.

            Would he be returning to some kind of cell? Like before?

            Would they kill him? Torture him? Use him as bait?

            He honestly didn’t know, and a part of him was afraid to find out.

            But he would not give them the satisfaction of knowing his fear.

            Minutes passed quickly.

            Soon it was over an hour, if his internal clock was right, and the horses hadn’t stopped running.

            Finally they slowed outside of what looked like some old, gated community. Once upon a time, it must have been nice – for rich people, probably, with large houses and yards. Now it was just a reminder of what was.

            The horses stopped and a hand landed on his shoulder, pushing him out of the buggy. He sighed and did so, looking around. He was shoved through the opening of the community, and the horses slowly followed after him. He craned his neck around and found a young woman standing there, hand held out. The horses happily took carrots from her and she ran her hand along their noses in gentle, loving pats.

            Confusion set in but he didn’t wish to think about it just yet.

            _You must be a special kind of psycho._

            He was led down the mostly broken street and toward one of the large houses. They traveled inside and he was forced to sit on an old couch, which was still rather comfortable, surprisingly. The three men stood in front of him momentarily before one of them broke away and disappeared around the corner. He returned a moment later with a little girl and what looked like her mother.

            “Is this one of them?” the guy asked.

            Caleb frowned.

            _One of who?_

            The little girl looked at him through puffy, tear-filled eyes and shook her head, looking up at her mother. Her mother wore a similar look, and also shook her head.

            “No, I don’t recognize him,” she said.

            “We found him not far away, in the direction they said they were heading.”

            “They could have lied,” the mother said quietly.

            “Excuse me,” Caleb murmured, “but what are you talking about?”

            The three men turned toward him again.

            “He doesn’t sound like one of them, either,” the mother said.

            The man closest to the mother and daughter nodded and approached Caleb, pulling a knife from his belt, grip firm around the handle.

            Caleb’s eyes latched onto it.

            The man stopped in front of him and raised the knife.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Company

Chapter Nineteen: Company

 

 

Following the horse tracks was working just fine for the first hour or so, but then it started to rain. Growling to himself, Alec forced himself to move faster and keep going. He couldn’t lose the tracks or he’d never find Caleb.

            That was assuming the blonde was still _alive_.

            _Stop it,_ he told himself. _He’s okay._

            They’d both be okay, just as soon as he found his friend. They’d leave this area and everything would be okay.

            He just had to find him, first.

            This was proving harder than he thought. How far ahead were they? How far did they travel? If it continued raining, the tracks would vanish soon enough.

            He shook his head.

            No, he’d get to the end of this trail before that happened.

            That thought in mind, he urged himself to move faster.

 

 

The storm became too much and Alec had to stop for a while. The sky was dark and gray, the air cool and fast, and the rain felt like little needles on his skin. He sought shelter in the remnants of someone’s shed and stared at the disappearing horse tracks not far ahead. They seemed to be traveling in a straight line, so Alec hoped he could catch up later.

            If they simply continued going straight, he might have a chance at finding his friend. If they veered off and the storm destroyed the tracks…

            _No._

            He refused to think like that. He’d find Caleb and get him away from those people, and they’d continue traveling just like always. They’d continue their search for supplies, and he’d continue learning more about the blonde and giving Caleb little details about himself as well.

            Things would go back to normal just as soon as he found his friend, and he _would_ find him.

            Maybe they hadn’t exactly known each other long – but then again, it had been a few months, the majority of that time spent in the cells, held prisoner together – but Alec trusted Caleb. He hadn’t trusted anyone in a long time.

            They were _friends_.

            And he couldn’t lose another friend.

            He _wouldn’t_ , because he was going to find the blonde.

            Just as soon as this storm ended.

But then Alec did the unthinkable and fell asleep.

            He woke the next morning, confused as he found himself in a run-down shed, the ground slightly damp and his back stiff. He sat up and looked around, but no one was there. Memories of the day before rushed toward him and he jumped to his feet, quickly snagging the duffel and the AK.

            _Shit, shit, shit… I fucking fell asleep?_

            He hurried outside, toward where he last saw the horse tracks, and growled at himself when he found only smooth, damp dirt.

            The tracks were gone, and so was Caleb.

            _No. Dammit!_

            He failed. He failed his friend.

            Now he had no idea how to find Caleb, if he was okay or even still fucking _alive_ , and…

            He couldn’t find him. Had no way of tracking him, of knowing where he was. The blonde was _gone_.

            A sound penetrated the air around him and he whirled around, staring off to the side. The sound came again and his ears must have been deceiving him because that certainly could be-

            But it was.

            A horse came galloping toward him. On it was one of the guys who took Caleb out of the house, one of the guys who bound his hands and left Alec behind.

            Alec quickly darted to the side and hid behind a large tree, AK in hand. He knew they didn’t have many bullets left, but this guy wouldn’t know that. Plan in mind, he jumped out from behind the tree only when the guy was close enough that he couldn’t possibly miss, and he held the AK aimed at the guy’s face, a growl already forming on his lips.

            The guy stopped the horse and stared at him, shocked.

            “Where is he?” Alec snapped.

            “Who?”

            “Don’t play dump,” he growled, “you know who! He’s got strawberry blonde hair, a little shorter than me, green eyes – dammit, you took him yesterday!”

            Realization dawned in the guy’s eyes and he nodded. “Yes. Him.”

            “Where the fuck _is he_?”

            A pause.

            “Is he even _alive_?”

            The question had to be asked even though a part of Alec wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know the answer.

            The guy shook his head. “He’s fine. Are you Alec?”

            “How do you know my name?”

            “I’d appreciate it if you put the gun down.”

            “I’d appreciate it if you gave me my friend back,” Alec replied, not lowering the AK.

            The guy sighed and ran a hand through his short brown hair. “I can take you to him.”

            Alec barked out a laugh. “And what? Leave us both held captive? I’d prefer it if you brought him to me, thanks. Unless, of course, you don’t value your life.”

            The guy held his hands up defensively and he slid off the horse. Alec followed him with his gun. Dark eyes stared down the barrel of the AK.

            “Your friend is fine,” the guy said.

            “Funny how I don’t believe you.”

            “Believe what you want, but he’s okay.”

            “You hit him.”

            A pause.

            “I saw the bruise,” Alec muttered.

            “We thought he was someone else,” the guy told him quietly, shaking his head. “We were attacked a few days ago – a group of people went to look for supplies. A mother and daughter went with them because the little girl really needed medicine, you know? So, they went too. Someone attacked them – three guys. They were said to be heading this way. We thought your friend was one of them, so we behaved accordingly. But it turns out we were mistaken.”

            “Damn right you were mistaken,” Alec said. “We just fucking got there the day before! We were just staying there for the fucking night! Now where is he?”

            “If you’d put the gun down, I’d take you to him.”

            “Not happening.”

            Alec didn’t trust this guy. He couldn’t trust him – couldn’t trust that Caleb was really okay, and getting to him was as simple as allowing this guy to take him somewhere. Nothing in life was ever that simple, and especially not these days.

            “If you’re so damn harmless and he’s fine, then why isn’t he here?” Alec asked, because it was a question slithering through his mind, leaving his stomach churning.

            _If he’s okay, where is he? If you didn’t hurt him, where is he?_

            He wasn’t entirely sure why he didn’t like the thought of Caleb being hurt, but then, he didn’t really like the thought of _anyone_ being hurt, and Caleb was his friend. Therefore it only made sense for him to worry. It only made sense for his stomach to be in knots and his head to ache.

            The guy’s expression darkened. “There were complications.”

            “ _Complications?_ ” Alec spluttered, glaring at him. “What the fuck does that mean?”

            “Are you going to come with me, or am I going to have to leave you here? Your friend was quite adamant that I not leave you behind.”

            Alec narrowed his eyes further.

            “Do you honestly think he would have told me your name if he thought I was going to hurt you? Or bring you to him to be hurt?”

            Alec frowned because that was a good point. He couldn’t see Caleb doing that. Then again, what if these guys didn’t get his name from the blonde? But that didn’t make sense because he didn’t really know anyone else. Everyone else he knew on a first-name basis was dead.

            “He’s okay?” he asked quietly, the gun wavering somewhat.

            The guy nodded. “He is fine. I think he was eating when I left.”

            Alec chewed on his lower lip and nodded. “Okay. Take me to him. But I’m not lowering the gun until I see him.”

            The guy sighed. “Fair enough.”

 

 

The place the guy took Alec to wasn’t what he was expecting.

            Since they took Caleb as they had, he expected it to be a lot like the cells. Made for prisoners, so to speak. Perhaps with other captives running around. Maybe some blood. What he didn’t expect was to see a gated community thriving within the band of people standing outside with guns. They trotted inside with their horse, Alec clutching at the AK, and moved through the small, man-made town.

            Women and children walked down the broken street. Young boys were learning how to use guns and knives. Freaking _dogs_ walked by their owners. It had been years since he’d seen a dog! Well, a dog that wasn’t rabid and hungry, at least. Usually he ran from dogs these days.

            Everything here seemed so peaceful that he almost forgot the world was ending – or had it already ended?

            He honestly didn’t know.

            Right now his only concern was finding his friend.

            “Where is he?” he asked the guy.

            “Patience,” the guy replied, and Alec narrowed his eyes.

            “I don’t have any, so tell me where he is.”

            “He’s not far,” the guy assured him, and Alec sighed and nodded.

            The horse walked a few minutes before the guy pulled on the reigns and they stopped. He climbed off and Alec followed after him. A young boy came to collect the horse and took off, reigns in hand. Alec watched him disappear around the corner of a building and then turned to follow after the guy as he pushed open the door to one of the large houses.

            He found himself standing in the middle of a vast living room. He was sure it used to be beautiful, but now it was mostly bare save for an old couch and coffee table. Along the walls hung gun racks but other than that, it was empty.

            Alec stopped in the middle of the room and frowned at the guy. “Okay, where’s-”

            “Alec!” came a refreshingly familiar voice from behind him, and he spun just in time to be enveloped in a hug. Before he could return the embrace, the arms pulled away and he found Caleb smiling at him, looking unharmed save for that one bruise.

            “Caleb,” he breathed, smiling back. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine,” the blonde said. “How are you? Did he find you okay?”

            Alec nodded.

            “He threatened to shoot me,” the guy said, and Alec shot him a quick glare. The guy shrugged and walked away, disappearing into another room, leaving the two of them alone.

            Alec took the time to look his friend over. Caleb had changed clothes and was without shoes or socks. With his smile, he looked perfectly at ease for someone who had been practically kidnapped.

            “What’s going on?” Alec asked.

            Caleb shrugged. “No idea. Case of mistaken identity, I guess. They thought I was a horrible person. But turns out I’m only a _little_ evil.”

            Alec found himself grinning. “Yeah, well, don’t worry. Soon they’ll know just how rotten you are.”

            Caleb smirked. “Yeah, probably. Are you hungry?” He turned to walk away and then stopped suddenly. Alec frowned at him.

            “What?” he asked.

            Caleb frowned at him in return, green eyes searching his face. “You can let go,” he said quietly.

            “Huh?”

            Alec looked down and found that his hand was clasped around the blonde’s wrist, holding tightly. Cheeks ablaze, he yanked his hand away and rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck.

            “Sorry,” he murmured.

            Caleb shrugged. “It’s fine. Food, Alec!” Then he scurried off into another room, and a moment later, Alec followed after him.

 

 

Alec ate better than he had in a long time. _Chicken,_ no less! And fried potatoes!

            It was delicious. The people he ate with were pretty nice as well. The woman who cooked the meal smiled at him when she put the plate down, and offered him a glass of cold water. Meanwhile a puppy ran under the table and attacked his feet, and a little boy, probably no more than five, chased after it and dragged it out of the room.

            It was all so very _normal_. Except Alec wasn’t sure he knew what that felt like anymore. Things hadn’t been _normal_ in a very long time.

            But things seemed so peaceful and so _relaxed_ here. It was like he’d traveled to a different universe, some alternate reality where the mutations never happened, and he was just a normal guy.

            He knew that wasn’t the case, though. The pistol sitting at the table next to one of the guys reminded him of that.

            After dinner, he followed Caleb back into the living room. Two men sat on the couch, one of which Alec recognized as one of the men who took Caleb in the first place, while the other was unfamiliar.

            They looked up as he and Caleb approached.

            The familiar one smiled. “How was dinner?”

            “It was pretty good,” Caleb replied.

            “This your friend?” the unfamiliar one asked.

            “Oh, sorry,” Caleb said, before gesturing at the familiar one. “Tom, this is Alec. Alec, Tom.” He turned toward the unfamiliar one. “Rhys, this is Alec. Alec, Rhys.”

            “Hi,” Alec said slowly.

            Tom said ‘hi’ and Rhys inclined his head in acknowledgment.

            “We are sorry for the rude meeting,” Tom said. “We thought you were someone else at first, but know now that we were wrong. We shouldn’t have treated you like that. I apologize.”

            “It’s fine,” Caleb said with a shrug. “Nothing that won’t heal.”

            “What?” Alec asked. “Do you have something other than the bruise?”

            “Um, well…” Caleb hesitated and then pulled back the sleeve of his long-sleeved shirt to reveal a bandage surrounding his wrist – the wrist that belonged to the hand Alec hadn’t grabbed earlier.

            “What happened?” Alec demanded, feeling a burning knot form in his stomach.

            “They were cutting the ropes,” Caleb said, “and I kinda thought they were going to stab me, so I maybe kinda sorta moved… and, well, this happened. But it’s totally fine.”

            “Is it bad?”

            “Not really, no. It was my fault anyway.”

            Alec narrowed his eyes at him but could sense no deception, so he nodded slowly.

            “As I said, we are sorry,” Tom said, dragging his attention back toward the two men on the couch. “We did not mean to cause any unnecessary harm. Despite our harsh meeting, if you would like to stay here, you are both more than welcome.”

            Alec blinked. “Stay? _Here_?”

            This guy was really inviting them to stay here, in this gated community, where everything was so peacefully _normal_?

            _Maybe I stepped into the Twilight Zone without realizing it._

            It was the only thing that made sense.

            “We could use all the help we can get,” Rhys said.

            Alec stared at them and then finally turned to face Caleb. “I…”

            “We’ll get back to you on that,” Caleb said to the guys, offering a faint smile. “In the meantime, is there somewhere we could stay and talk things over? I think we’d both like a little rest.”

            “That’s perfectly fine,” Rhys said, smiling. “If you go down the hallway and up the stairs, the last room on the left should be free. I’m sorry we only have one open guest room here for the time being, unless you would like to look in another house.”

            “That’s fine,” Caleb said, before he grabbed Alec’s wrist and began to lead him away.

            Alec silently followed the blonde up the stairs and toward the suggested room. Caleb shut the door behind them and moved to stand near the window, looking out.

            The windows weren’t boarded up. Alec stood next to his friend and looked out at the peaceful community. Everything about here seemed so… _unreal_. Like this was simply a dream and any minute now, he would wake up and be alone, because Caleb had been taken and he’d lost the horse tracks.

            “It’s nice here,” Caleb murmured.

            Alec nodded. “Yeah… it is.”

            A pause.

            “Do you want to stay?”

            Alec looked at the blonde. “Do you?”

            Caleb shrugged. “I don’t care. I can see how it helps to be in a group, but I don’t really know these people, and…”

            “And?”

            A shutter went down over the blonde’s face, eyes suddenly cold. It took all Alec had not to take a step back at the suddenness of it all.

            “And I just don’t know them. So. I don’t care.”

            _What aren’t you telling me?_

            Alec watched the blonde for a long moment. Caleb’s expression softened and he smiled.

            “I could get used to eating those awesome meals, though, babe. I mean – _damn_. Delicious.”

            Alec nodded slowly. “Yeah – it was pretty good. And… we are pretty much out of everything. They have supplies.”

            Caleb nodded.

            “But like you said, we don’t really know them…”

            The blonde shrugged but said nothing.

            Alec sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking out the window. “How about we stay here for now, and… we can leave whenever we want. Right?”

            _Holy shit… what if it’s like some kind of cult? What if you can’t leave?_

            He knew some groups were like that. Then again, most groups didn’t kidnap someone one moment, and then feed them and offer them a place to stay the next.

            “I guess so,” Caleb said.

            “Okay, so… I say we stay on a trial basis, of sorts.”

            “Sounds good.”

            Alec nodded. “Alright then.”

            A pause.

            “You didn’t leave my precious AK behind, did you?”


	20. Chapter Twenty: Shooting Practice

Chapter Twenty: Shooting Practice

 

 

The next week passed mostly in a blur. Despite the fact Alec and Caleb were sharing a room, he rarely saw the blonde save for when they ate and when they slept. Caleb was up earlier than him and was usually asleep when he finally came in for the night. When Alec woke, the blonde was gone. He didn’t know what Caleb did during the day but it seemed to be making him exhausted.

            Alec rarely did much of anything. Occasionally he would help out with the kids or spend time with the dogs. Marla, one of the Chocolate Labs, just had a litter of puppies right before he and Caleb arrived, so he checked in on them from time to time. Sometimes he was asked to help build something but for the most part, people gave him his space. That was fine except for the fact it made him feel lazy compared to Caleb, and he still wasn’t any closer to finding out where his friend disappeared to on a daily basis.

            But he didn’t think about it much until Caleb returned one day with lipstick on his shirt. For a long moment Alec simply stared at it. He hadn’t seen lipstick in a long time, and hadn’t even known it was still arrived, but apparently it was. Why it was on the blonde’s shirt was another matter entirely.

            Alec wanted to ask – wanted to ask who Caleb had been with, what they had been doing, but it wasn’t any of his business, really. He didn’t control Caleb’s life, and if the blonde was disappearing every day to be with some girl, that was okay. He was perfectly fine with that.

            He blamed his stomach ache on his sudden lack of appetite.

            And his sudden inability to sleep.

            Halfway through week two, he couldn’t take it anymore, and found himself sitting on one of the twin beds in the room when Caleb strolled through the door. The blonde paused momentarily, blinking at him, before he smiled and moved toward the empty bed on the other side of the room.

            “Where have you been?” Alec asked.

            “What do you mean?”

            “You disappear every day. Where do you go?”

            “I’ve just been busy.”

            “Busy with what?”

            “I’ve been helping them with some things, and making bullets,” Caleb replied, kicking off his shoes. “I’ve also been helping some of the kids learn to shoot.”

            Alec winced. “Kids shouldn’t be using guns.”

            Caleb tossed him a weary look. “World’s gone to hell, babe. Kids need to learn to shoot. Or at least use a knife.”

            Alec didn’t like it, but he knew it was logical. To become good at shooting, one had to practice. If they started at an earlier age, they usually excelled at it. At least that was how it worked in his experience. He’d never had a reason to use a gun before everything happened, and thus he was a lousy shot. He stuck with his knife but now he didn’t even have that.

            It struck him how completely useless he was in that moment.

            “Maybe I should learn to shoot,” he murmured, mostly to himself, the words barely even a breath of air, but somehow Caleb heard him.

            “I can help you,” the blonde said, and Alec glanced at him.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yeah. I don’t mind. What do you say, babe?”

            Alec shrugged. “Why not. Okay, when do we start?”

            “How about tomorrow afternoon?”

            “Sounds great.”

            The two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Caleb pulled his shirt off and chucked it aside, leaving him only in his pants. After ripping his socks off, he threw the covers back and crawled into the bed, nuzzling his face into his pillow.

            Alec watched him for a moment before he tore his gaze away and looked at the ceiling. He lay back in his bed, head on his pillow.

            It had been a long time since he’d actually had a pillow. Far too long. Back before Silas.

            Before he…

            He closed his eyes and swallowed.

            _Stop it. Don’t think about it. Just… stop._

            But he couldn’t. His mind refused to let him. It insisted on wrapping around that image of Silas writhing in pain, breaths shaky and weak, brow wet with sweat. It forced him to remember the pained words, the begging tone of his best friend’s voice…

            Made him remember stabbing his friend with the very knife Silas had gotten him for his birthday…

            “Babe.”

            Alec’s eyes flew open. A hand clasped his shoulder and he glanced over to find Caleb sitting next to him on the bed, one hand outstretched, a crease in his brow.

            “You okay, babe?”

            “I’m fine,” Alec said with a scowl.

            Caleb watched him for a moment, before he shrugged and got to his feet, his hand slipping away from Alec’s shoulder. Without thinking, Alec snapped a hand out and snagged Caleb’s wrist, holding the blonde in place. Green eyes widened marginally and Alec found himself staring at the blonde, frozen.

            “Babe?” Caleb asked quietly.

            “I just, uh…”

            He released the blonde’s wrist. “Sorry. I’ll just… I’m gonna go to sleep. Night.”

            With that, he rolled over so his back was to Caleb, and closed his eyes.

 

 

Alec woke the next morning to find himself alone. That wasn’t unusual, so he simply climbed out of bed and changed his clothes, combing his fingers through his tangled hair. They had a working well around here somewhere – apparently one of the rich people who lived here before everything happened enjoyed old things like that, and had one put in their backyard. It came in handy.

            He’d bathe today, and meet with Caleb this afternoon to learn some Gun 101. He snickered to himself, wondering what the blonde would think if he showed up and called it that.

            After his cold bath, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself. He ate breakfast, looked after the new puppies for about an hour, and managed to busy himself with housework. After that he strolled outside, looking for something to do, as he still had some time before he was to meet up with Caleb.

            “Sure,” one person said, “I can give you some work.”

            Alec smiled and nodded, and was put to work on helping to rebuild one of the buggies. He tried to ignore the ragged claw marks on the side, and the chunks of wood missing, splattered with blood.

            Once he was finished with that, it was finally time to meet up with Caleb. He hurried back to their shared room to find the blonde already there, waiting for him. Caleb looked up and smiled at him.

            “Hey,” he said.

            “Hey,” Alec said in return. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

            “Just got here,” Caleb said with a smirk. “Are you ready?”

            Alec nodded. “Yeah. Where are we going?”

            “There’s a shooting range set up toward the end of this place. That’s where the kids have been going to practice.”

            “Oh, okay.”

            He followed the blonde out the door and down the broken street.

 

 

The makeshift shooting range was impressive, to say the least. It held several boards with targets painted on them. The boards were placed in different places – some half hidden, some pretty far back, and some fairly close. Alec took notice of a few teenagers practicing with their pistols. He wondered if it was a good idea to waste ammo like that, but then remembered Caleb could make bullets, and other people probably could as well.

            Caleb handed Alec a pistol and gestured toward one of the closest target boards.

            “Try that first,” he said. “The red areas are the best. Try to aim for the head but if you can’t, try the heart, or legs. They can’t run very well with hurt legs.”

            That made sense.

            Alec raised the gun and fired at the target, missing completely. “Dammit!”

            “Too fast, babe,” Caleb said.

            Alec aimed the gun and squeezed the trigger after taking in a slow breath. This time the bullet smacked into the board’s torso, not in the red but at least it was on the board this time. He tried once more but this bullet barely hit the board at all, only skimming the side.

            Caleb came up beside him and took the gun from him. “Like this,” he said, getting into a firing stance, raising the gun. He squeezed the trigger and the bullet smacked into the board’s top, where the head would be. Alec stared at it and sighed, shaking his head as he accepted the pistol back from Caleb.

            “I don’t know if this is going to work,” he murmured.

            “It’ll work,” Caleb assured him with a smile, “it just takes practice.”

            Alec raised the gun and fired, missing yet again.

            “Too tense, babe,” Caleb said. “Don’t be so tense or you’re going to mess up your aim. Breathe with the bullet.”

            “Breathe with what?”

            “The bullet, babe.”

            “What the hell does that even mean?”

            Caleb smirked. “Breathe after you pull the trigger, right as the bullet leaves the gun. Don’t just pull the trigger – squeeze it gently. And remember the drawback.”

            Alec scowled but did as he was told. He aimed yet again and held his breath until after he fired the gun. This time the bullet smacked into the center of the board, mid-stomach if it was a person.

            But they weren’t shooting people, and zephroes were slightly taller, so it probably wouldn’t do anything against a mutation.

            He fired again and missed.

            _Dammit, why am I so bad at this?_

            He startled when he felt Caleb come up behind him. The blonde’s arms came around him and his hands grabbed Alec’s, folding Alec’s fingers over the trigger and grip of the gun. Alec stood frozen for a long moment as the blonde’s breath rushed down the back of his neck. His cheeks burned but he blamed that on the fact that this was a very embarrassing way to be seen.

            “Squeeze,” Caleb whispered, his breath hot against Alec’s ear, and Alec instinctively pulled the trigger, startled.

            The bullet smacked into the center of the board’s makeshift head.

            “Great!” Caleb praised, and Alec found himself grinning. Caleb’s hands tightened around his own, pulling as they guided him to aim at a different board, further back.

            If Alec wasn’t so wrapped up in the fact that this was such an awkward, embarrassing position, he would have scowled at the fact he had to do this all over again.

            “Again,” Caleb said, breath tickling his ear, sending chills down his spine as his cheeks burned again.

            He took in a slow breath and squeezed the trigger. The bullet found its home in what would be a human’s chest, near the heart, but not in the head as he’d intended. He scowled and shook his head.

            “Even a little difference in aim can make a big difference when you’re farther away,” Caleb said as he released him and pulled back. Alec turned and blinked at him for a moment, suddenly missing the warmth and the way the blonde’s hands guided him, helped him hit his target.

            But it was ridiculous to be thinking such things.

            “Keep trying,” Caleb said. “After this target, you can stop if you want.”

            “But we haven’t even been here fifteen minutes,” Alec said, frowning.

            “I know, but I’m getting hungry and I’m pretty sure it’s almost supper time.”

            Alec nodded. Supper usually occurred around the same time every day – around six in the evening. Melanie usually cooked the meals, and it always tasted great. At least, she cooked in the house they were in. He wasn’t sure if things were different in the other large houses and whatnot.

            “You’re doing great,” Caleb said. “Keep it up.”

            “I’ll try,” Alec said, “but I make no promises.”

            “Trying is all that I ask, babe.”

 

 

Alec was alone when he woke the next morning, but he was getting used to it by now. He climbed out of bed and dressed in clean clothes before he wandered downstairs. Melanie was in the kitchen, doing dishes in a tub of water. Her gray eyes looked up as he approached and a smile spread across her face.

            “Good morning,” she said cheerily.

            Alec smiled. “Morning,” he said in return.

            Melanie was in her mid-twenties. She didn’t do much besides cook, but Alec figured that was because she had a bad limp when she walked. He never asked how it happened, but figured it wasn’t his business anyway.

            She tucked a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear.

            “Are you hungry, Alec?”

            “A little,” Alec said.

            She nodded and gestured at the counter. Alec glanced over to find a bowl of apples. Grinning, he moved toward the bowl and plucked one of the red balls out of it, bringing it to his mouth. The delicious juice spread across his taste buds.

            “It’s been forever since I’ve had one of these,” he said happily.

            Melanie smirked. “I’ll bet! There’s more if you want them.”

            He eyed the other apples but shook his head. “Nah, that’s okay.” He didn’t want to deprive the others of the apples, after all. He looked at Melanie. “Hey, do you know where Caleb is?”

            “He didn’t tell you?”

            Alec’s eyebrows rose. “Tell me what?”

            “He left about an hour ago.”

            “Where’d he go?”

            “He went with a group of guys out of town,” she told him, frowning somewhat. “I thought he told you.”

            “He did _what_?” Alec asked, staring at her.

            Caleb _left_? He wasn’t in town? He was out there with those mutations, alone?

            His hands clenched into fists at his sides.

            “It’s just a quick supply run,” she said. “We need the wood, and there’s a river nearby. They were going to catch some fish as well.”

            “Why the hell did he go?”

            She frowned again. “Well, he’s a medic, and he’s pretty good with a gun,” she told him, shrugging. “Those are some pretty good qualities when you’re building an away team.”

            “Why did no one ask me?”

            “Caleb told them to leave you alone,” she said, eying him oddly. “Did he seriously tell you nothing about this?”

            “He didn’t,” Alec said through clenched teeth. “He didn’t say a single fucking thing.” A pause as he took in a breath and released it slowly. “Why did he tell them to leave me alone?”

            “He simply said you didn’t have to be involved,” she said. “Plus you just started gun training yesterday. And there was already five guys going, including Caleb.”

            “Only five?”

            Why did he not like the sound of that?

            “They’re skilled,” Melanie said with a soft smile. “It will be okay.”

            Alec bit down on his lower lip, averting his gaze toward the floor. Would it be okay? He didn’t know. Caleb was out there with strangers and he was stuck here because he couldn’t shoot a gun worth a damn. He didn’t think it was fair that Caleb had to go simply because he knew some things about being a medic and could aim a gun.

            A hand landed on his shoulder, startling him from his thoughts. He found Melanie watching him, standing right in front of him now. “Don’t worry,” she said quietly, “your boyfriend will be fine.”

            Alec’s eyes flew open wide. “My _what?_ ” he gasped, pulling away from her. “What the hell are you _talking_ about?”

            She blinked, startled at his abrupt movement. “You… you two _are_ together, right?”

            “No!”

            How could she possibly think…?

            “Sorry! It’s just… well, he was worried about you when he got here,” she said, frowning. “And I heard how you acted toward the man who went to find you, threatening to shoot him unless he showed you Caleb. And you two are sharing a room, and… I’m sorry, I just assumed!”

            Alec stared at her for a long moment, unable to close his mouth. Finally he licked at his dry lips and took in a slow breath. “Why would we possibly be _together_?”

            “Because it’s pretty obvious how you feel about him,” she said.

            “Explain!”

            “You watch him a lot. I’ve noticed it. I think it’s so cute! You’re always asking about him, and he’s the only one you really talk to.”

            “I’m not always asking about him! And I don’t watch him!”

            “You do. And he calls you ‘babe’.”

            “That means nothing,” Alec muttered, ignoring that odd knot in his stomach. “He calls everyone that.”

            She smiled sadly at him. “No,” she said, “he doesn’t.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “He only calls _you_ that.”

            “No, he-”

            “Alec, I really don’t want to argue with you, okay? I made a mistake and assumed things, and I’m sorry. But I really do think you two would be cute together.” She smiled. “I know you like him, and I know he feels the same, so… I’d do something about it if I were you.”

            “What-”

            “Before it’s too late,” she finished, voice somewhat somber as she brushed past him and left the room, leaving him standing there, staring after her.

 

 

For the rest of the day, Alec stewed over Melanie’s words. She thought he and Caleb were… what? Dating? She thought they were a _couple_? He kept running over that conversation over and over in his head but it still didn’t make sense. He still couldn’t believe what he’d heard.

            Did he really watch Caleb that much? Occasionally he watched Caleb, but it was simply because he liked seeing him smile.

            _Okay… that sounds creepy._

            He liked seeing the blonde _happy_. But who didn’t want to see their friend happy?

            They shared a room, but it was simply because it was the only room available in this house, and Alec would probably wind up having to share with someone anyway. It was just better to share with someone he already knew, and Caleb hadn’t argued.

            He didn’t always ask about Caleb. Occasionally, in passing, he asked where Caleb might be, but that was it. He wasn’t constantly asking about the blonde – that was ridiculous!

            They weren’t dating or intimate in _any way_. They were just friends. He was Alec’s first friend since Silas, and that was important to him. He valued Caleb’s friendship. That was as close as they got.

            Except he remembered Caleb coming up behind him yesterday, arms wrapped around him, Alec’s back against a firm chest, Caleb’s hands atop his own as he helped him fire the gun…

            He remembered feeling awkward and embarrassed, but he also remembered the _warmth_. And _guidance_.

            He thought back on that odd bit of annoyance when he saw the lipstick on Caleb’s shirt. Why was he angry? Was he angry? He didn’t have an appetite after that, and found it hard to sleep. Why was this? Was he jealous of how Caleb managed to get a girl and Alec couldn’t?

            _No_ , he realized with a start, eyes flying open wide.

            _No… I’m not jealous of Caleb…_

            He swallowed and closed his eyes.

            _I’m jealous of the **girl**... for being with **Caleb** …_

            In that moment, the door was pushed open and Caleb entered the room, and Alec was truly and utterly _fucked_.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One: Gettng Complicated

Chapter Twenty-One: Getting Complicated

 

 

Caleb frowned at the wide-eyed look Alec tossed him as he entered their shared room. He was exhausted from traveling today, searching for supplies, so his brain wasn’t working at its best. Mostly it was nothing but a haze of sleep, and he eyed his bed longingly. His body was stiff and tired and he felt so _exhausted_ …

            He wanted to simply fall asleep, but he couldn’t until he addressed that wide-eyed, frantic look, and the way Alec looked like he’d been caught red-handed. There was no need for him to look like that, or behave like that, because Caleb wouldn’t judge him about anything. Why did he appear so nervous and frantic?

            _What happened while I was gone?_

            “Something wrong, babe?” he asked, glancing at Alec again.

            Alec swallowed thickly, staring at him. “Um… n-no,” he said, but it was too quick and Caleb sighed before he moved toward his bed and sat down.

            “Wanna try not lying to me?”

            “Nothing’s wrong.”

            Caleb stared at him for a long moment, before he shrugged. He was too tired for this right now. He’d deal with it in the morning. “Alright, then.” He fluffed his pillow and lay down, closing his eyes, not even bothering to kick his shoes off or climb under the covers.

            He almost drifted off when the brunette called his name. Opening his eyes, he found Alec hovering over him, frowning.

            “Huh?”

            “Why is there blood on your head? Are you hurt?”

            Caleb blinked, frowning somewhat, but then remembered the blood-stained hair. He shook his head slowly. “Just a bump on the head. ‘m fine. Head wounds look worse than they are.”

            “You might have a concussion,” Alec said with a scowl.

            “Nah, I’m fine.”

            “And how do you know?”

            “Because that’s kind of my thing, babe,” Caleb replied, giving him a tired smile. “What are you so freaked out about?”

            Alec moved back toward his own bed. “I’m fine.”

            “Liar.”

            “I’m _fine_. I was just… thinking about something.”

            “Then why did you look like I caught you with your hand in the cookie jar?” Caleb asked, sighing.

            “Look, not everything’s about you, okay?” Alec snapped, tossing him a glare, and Caleb frowned, blinking slowly.

            “Alright. Forget I asked. Night.”

            With that, he closed his eyes and welcomed the oblivion of sleep.

 

 

The next morning when Alec woke alone, he felt a stab of guilt echo through him, but he couldn’t take his words back now. He wasn’t angry with Caleb – how could he be? He’d just been irritated at the questions. Why did Caleb have to care enough to ask? Alec didn’t wish to talk about it, or _think_ about it.

            He’d apologize to the blonde when he saw him again, which would probably be in a few hours. He’d definitely see him at supper.

            But supper would mean being near Melanie, and Caleb, having them both together. He wasn’t sure what to think about that. Why did Melanie think they were a couple? Regardless of whether or not he _was_ jealous of that girl who may or may not have kissed Caleb, that didn’t mean he behaved in any way, shape or form like Caleb was his boyfriend – like they were _dating_.

            So where, then, was Melanie getting this perception of them?

            He just hoped she hadn’t mentioned it to Caleb – and wouldn’t in the future, either. Melanie having this misconception was one thing; Caleb was another matter entirely. Alec was sharing a room with the guy, after all – they were _friends_. He didn’t need things getting weird between them.

            Sighing, he scrubbed a hand across his face and left the house, nearly colliding with Caleb as he did so. For a moment, the two just stood there, staring at each other, before Caleb offered a smile.

            “Sorry ‘bout that,” he said.

            “No – I’m sorry,” Alec said, before he shook his head. “About everything. Last night.”

            Caleb blinked at him. “It’s fine. I didn’t mean to pry.”

            “It’s just… I’ve had a lot on my mind. It has nothing to do with you.”

            _Well… not yet, at least._

            The blonde shrugged. “Alright,” he said. “If you say so.”

            “Well, I have to, um… get to work,” Alec said. “I’m helping repair some things.”

            “Yeah, I need to get back too. Just came back for a quick snack.”

            “Alright, well… I’ll see you at supper, then,” Alec said as he started to walk past his friend.

            “I won’t be there.”

            Alec turned, frowning at the blonde. “Why not?”

            Caleb looked at the ground and shrugged. “I’m, um… I’m busy. Tonight. For supper.”

            “Busy?”

            How could he busy?

            “You have to take a break to eat,” he told him.

            The blonde shook his head sheepishly. “I’ll just… see you later.”

            “What are-”

            _Oh_.

            He snapped his mouth closed for a moment, trying to ignore that knot forming in his stomach, before he swallowed and spoke.

            “You’re… going on a date.”

            The blonde’s cheeks darkened. “It’s not like that,” he said quickly. “I’m just… obligated to join this person for dinner.”

            “And why’s that?”

            Caleb shrugged. “Anyway, I’ll, um… yeah, I’ll see you sometime tonight, unless you’re asleep when I get back. Which, you should rest, babe. You look pretty out of it.”

            “Yeah,” he sighed, “no kidding.”

            Caleb clapped him once on the shoulder before he entered the house, closing the door behind him, leaving Alec standing there, staring in his wake. Then he swallowed and turned away from the door, looking in the direction he needed to go, but found his feet refused to move.

            He scrubbed a hand across his face. If Caleb wanted to go on a date, that was perfectly fine. He had no reason to be jealous because there was nothing even remotely intimate between them. He didn’t even like the guy like that, despite what Melanie thought. They were only friends – good friends, trusted friends. He trusted Caleb with his life… and he hoped the feeling was mutual, but he found he still didn’t know Caleb’s secrets, even though he finally admitted his own.

            That wasn’t important right now, though. Maybe later, when they were alone in their shared room, they could talk about it.

Until then, though, Alec had a job to do.

 

 

Caleb missed dinner, like he said he would. Melanie didn’t ask about him, but did give Alec a somewhat confused look at the empty seat at the table. Alec just shrugged and shoved food into his face even though he wasn’t that hungry. Why was his appetite so screwy lately? Sometimes he was hungry, and others his stomach flopped too much for him to even think about food.

He blamed it on stress. Stress about being in a new place, about having to learn how to shoot, and about Melanie thinking there was something between him and Caleb. Melanie looked like she wanted to say something, but he pushed his plate aside and got to his feet, leaving the room because he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to talk about her misconception right now.

He just wanted to lay down because his stomach was flopping too much for him to be comfortable doing anything else.

He wasn’t sure how long he lay there before the door to the room burst open and in walked Caleb, looking tired but otherwise happy. Alec sighed and rolled over, facing him more.

“How was your date?” he asked.

Caleb scowled at him. “Wasn’t a date,” he said.

“Okay, how was your _obligation_?”

“It was fine, thank you.”

“It was totally a date.”

Caleb narrowed his eyes at him. “No – it wasn’t. I swear.”

“Then what was it?”

“Just someone.”

“A girl?”

“Nope, a baboon. Yes, a girl.”

Alec sighed and shook his head. “Was it… fun?”

“Sure, I guess so. Not really my kind of thing but it was fine, I guess.”

“Not your kind of thing?” Alec repeated with a frown.

_What’s that mean?_

Caleb tossed him a weary glance. “I’m not exactly into having tea parties with a six-year-old girl,” he said, before he smirked and shook his head, heading toward his bed. He sat on it and began taking his shoes off while Alec stared at him.

“Six-year-old girl? Tea party? What are you talking about?”

“Her puppy got a thorn stuck in its paw so I took it out, and she asked me for a tea party. What was I supposed to do? Say no to an innocent little girl?”

Alec blinked at him. “So it wasn’t a date?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Caleb said, smirked somewhat as he glanced at him. “And what’s with all the questions? Am I being interrogated, babe?”

“No,” Alec said with a scowl. “I was just… curious. That’s all.”

_Yeah… curious._

Caleb shrugged and lay down. “Well, I’m tired, babe. Interrogate me when there’s breakfast.”

With that, he closed his eyes and within moments, his breathing evened out. Alec sighed and watched him for a moment, before he tore his gaze away when he realized what he was doing. He flipped off the light and went to bed himself.

 

 

Alec woke happy the next morning, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he didn’t wake up _alone_ , because Caleb was still asleep when he woke. Maybe it was because he hadn’t had nightmares last night. He honestly didn’t know, but today felt so much better than yesterday.

Caleb woke as Alec was climbing out of bed, and sat up with a yawn. “You’re up early,” the blonde commented.

Alec shrugged. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Nah, not really. Been dozing.”

Alec nodded. “Are you hungry? I can bring you something.”

Caleb blinked at him for a moment, before a grin split across his face. “Did you seriously just offer to get me breakfast in bed?”

Alec felt his face burn and quickly looked away. “Well… I was just trying to be nice.”

“It’s fine. And, yeah, I’d like that, babe.”

The brunette nodded and left the room. Down the stairs he went, into the kitchen, where he grabbed two apples and some toast before he returned to their shared room. Caleb had changed clothes in the time it took to do so, and now sat fully clothed on the bed, shoes already on his feet.

“In a hurry?”

Caleb shrugged. “Not really, but might as well get ready. Apples?” His eyes lit up. “I love apples.”

Alec smirked. “I thought you might. Here.” He handed him one of the apples and some toast before he turned and walked over to his own bed, sitting down as he began to eat.

For a moment, the two ate in silence, the only sound the crunch of the apples. When they were done, all that was left was the core of both the apples.

“Do you want to practice more today?” Caleb asked.

Alec frowned. “Aren’t you busy?”

Caleb was busy a lot these days. Despite himself, Alec would be lying if he said this didn’t bother him. It wasn’t like he could monopolize Caleb’s time – he didn’t even have that right. Even so, it left him feeling more than a little off-kilter when he only saw the blonde once a day, usually at dinner or before bed. Usually Caleb was gone when he woke up, or asleep when Alec entered their room, which left little time to actually talk or hang out.

 _Hang out_.

That was a phrase he hadn’t heard in a while. The world was ending – slowly, steadily, but it was ending, and that meant there wasn’t time to ‘hang out’ with anyone. One did what they had to do to survive, and that was it.

But it was different now.

This community… it was unlike anything Alec had seen. It was thriving, and there were children picking out puppies and playing tag in the streets, and pies cooling in the open windows…

It was like it never happened. Like the end never started, like the mutations didn’t exist, and like nothing ever went wrong. It was like everything was _fine_ , and sometimes Alec got caught up in that feeling, and then the _wrongness_ of it all caught up to him. Nothing was okay, because the world was still full of vicious mutations, psychotic people, and wild animals.

With so much going to hell around them, maybe it was no wonder Alec felt a little put off at the fact he now only saw the blonde usually once a day. When they had been traveling together, they were together non-stop. While it irritated Alec at first, back in the cells, he had still been grateful for the company, and the blonde’s soothing words and quirky comments. Once they left the cells, they were friends and stayed together. More than once, Alec used Caleb as a pillow. Occasionally Caleb did it to him as well.

They’d been through a lot together. For a while, they were all each other had, and while the world had gone to hell, at least a part of it seemed okay… at least for a little while.

Now there were other people around, people Alec actually almost liked, and Caleb had his own things to do. He knew the blonde was helping people, and Alec had things to do as well, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss the way things used to be, when it was just the two of them. Perhaps it was odd, because there was always strength in numbers and he was really starting to like it here, but he did miss their connection.

“Babe?” A hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to flinch as he snapped his gaze toward the blonde head in front of him. Green eyes narrowed him. “Are you okay, babe?”

“I’m fine,” Alec said with a scowl. “Why?”

“You asked me a question, and I answered. Then you spaced. I called your name like four times.” The blonde sighed. “You can tell me anything, you know. I won’t judge you.”

“I know,” Alec said, tongue suddenly thick in his mouth when he realized how true that was. He _did_ know he could potentially tell Caleb anything. He wasn’t sure when this happened, or why, but it happened and he trusted the blonde.

“So what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Alec said, shaking his head. “So, practice today, or are you busy?”

“Well, if you’d been listening before you spaced out,” Caleb said with a pointed look, “then you would have heard that I’m free most of this afternoon.”

“Oh?” Alec asked, staring, because that was unusual… but not unwanted.

Where did that thought come from?

“Well, I mean, gotta take a break sometime, right, babe?” Caleb asked, offering him a smile, which Alec returned with a slow nod.

“I guess so. I’ll meet you here for lunch and we can head over afterward?”

The blonde nodded. “Alright, sounds good to me, babe. It’s a date.”

Alec stiffened and stared at his friend, but Caleb wasn’t looking at him anymore. Instead the blonde was striding toward the door, apple core in hand, when he stopped and looked back at Alec. If anything, Alec’s posture grew stiffer.

Caleb frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Alec said with a scowl, irritated at the fact Melanie’s words were starting to get to him. Who cared what she thought? She didn’t know anything. There was absolutely nothing going on between the two of them.

Alec wasn’t gay, or bi, or even straight. The truth was, by the time he started getting interesting in discovering the finer parts of being intimate, dating, and sexuality, M-Day happened and everything went to hell. He’d never been with a girl before; but he’d never been with a guy, either. Honestly he’d never been with anyone.

 _Ever_.

He was a virgin in his early twenties, in the center of a horribly slow downward spiral into humanity’s destruction. Even if he was into guys, though, why Caleb? Why did Melanie think he and Caleb were together? Was the blonde gay, or bi, or whatever? He honestly didn’t know because these types of questions just never came up and he didn’t know how to go about approaching them.

Or even _why_ he was thinking about approaching them.

They were just friends and Alec valued their friendship. It was hard to trust anyone after what he’d been through, but Caleb stuck around and their connection was inevitable. Sometimes Alec hated their connection because a part of him remembered how it used to be – how independent he was, how he didn’t need anyone… and now it felt like that part of him was nearly gone, because he found himself depending on the blonde’s presence more and more. Things seemed less destructive and less hostile when the blonde was around.

By the time Alec snapped out of his thoughts, he was alone in his room and Caleb was nowhere to be seen.

 

 

They met for lunch, as they planned. Once they were done eating, Alec followed Caleb to the makeshift shooting range and picked up the gun once more, aiming at one of the closer targets as Caleb instructed. He fired and missed, leaving him sighing because he’d done so much better last time. Why was he now back to being absolutely horrible at this?

“Squeeze the trigger and breathe with it,” Caleb said.

“Trying,” Alec muttered as he took aim, held his breath, and exhaled only when the bullet left the chamber. It hit what would be the target’s shoulder, which was better than missing entirely, but nowhere near fatal to anything.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he flinched. “Easy,” Caleb said, “calm down, babe, you’re far too tense. This isn’t torture.”

“Maybe to you it’s not, but I suck at this.”

“The more you practice, the better you’ll be.”

“Says the guy who shoots like a pro.”

“I assure you I didn’t learn this overnight,” Caleb said, and Alec could hear the scowl in his voice without looking at him. “I had to practice a lot, and now you do too. It’s long overdue, babe. Guns are much better than fighting with knives because you don’t have to get nearly as close.”

Alec knew that, deep down. It was just frustrating being so horrible at this and Caleb making it look – and sound – so easy. “I like my knife,” he said without thinking, and then sighed because he didn’t have it anymore. It was gone, probably forever, taking that last bit of Silas with it. And it was all his fault.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Caleb said quietly, fingers tightening on his shoulder in a friendly squeeze. “We’ll find it.”

“Oh?”

“We will.”

“And how do you know that? It was attached to a zephro, Caleb! It’s gone.”

Caleb sighed and released his shoulder. “Try again.”

Alec scowled but did as he was told, and took aim and fired. It missed.

“Relax, Alec.”

“I’m trying, dammit!”

There was a pause as he fired again, and missed.

“Dammit!”

“You’re too-”

“Tense, yeah, I _know_ ,” Alec snapped, tossing the blonde a quick glare, because Caleb wasn’t helping. He knew he was tense and he knew he was doing this wrong, but he was tired of Caleb making it seem so damn _easy_ when it _wasn’t_.

“Alec-”

“Don’t you have something better to do?” Alec muttered as he turned to face the target, spine stiff. “I don’t need you breathing down my neck.”

There was a pause.

“Yeah, alright,” Caleb said quietly. “I’ll just… Good luck.”

Guilt clawed at the brunette but by the time he gathered enough resolve to turn around and _apologize_ , the blonde was nowhere to be seen.

_I really need to stop doing that…_

He didn’t want to keep snapping at Caleb, but… for some reason, it kept happening. Caleb had been pretty forgiving, but even Alec knew there was always a limit. All Caleb had tried to do thus far was help him, and the least Alec could do was accept his help and not bite his head off every chance he got.

It was just… every time Caleb was near, all Alec could think about were Melanie’s words, and what she insinuated.

And the fact he was actually _jealous_ of that girl… and the fact he’d lost his appetite when Caleb had a ‘date’, even though the situation was hilarious when he learned it was with a six-year-old girl.

Things were getting complicated, and it was all because of Melanie’s words.

And Alec didn’t know how to fix it.

He didn’t see Caleb again for another two days.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two: Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is where it gets into Rated M territory with sexual content. If this bothers you, please skip the next chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Two: Kiss Me

 

 

For two days, Alec was alone. Occasionally he talked to Melanie, but she kept bringing up her misconception about how he and Caleb were ‘intimate’, and kept asking if they had done anything about it yet. What were they supposed to _do_? If they were so ‘intimate’ why did it seem like Caleb was avoiding him? If they were so close, why did Alec keep snapping at the blonde when he was only trying to help?

Alec tried to busy himself with work and whatnot, but there was surprisingly little for him to do for the time being. Nothing really needed fixed – at least nothing he could help with – and they never invited him to go on supply runs, be it because of his inability to properly handle a gun or because of Caleb’s insistence he not be bothered with the runs, he wasn’t sure. He never got around to asking Caleb about it.

With the way the blonde was avoiding him, he wasn’t sure if he ever would.

When he finally did see Caleb again, two days later, the blonde looked exhausted and immediately collapsed on his bed, burying his head into the pillow. Alec watched him for a moment before he sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face, unsure as to what to say. Apologizing was getting old, and he couldn’t keep snapping at the blonde. Caleb had been nothing but good to him since the two of them met, and all Alec had done was complicate things. At least that was what it felt like.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, without realizing he said anything until Caleb lifted his head and glanced at him.

“Sorry?”

“For snapping at you… again. I’m sorry.”

Green eyes narrowed somewhat before the blonde looked away and shrugged. “It’s fine. Whatever. None of my business. I’ll try not to be so nosy.”

Alec shook his head. “You were just trying to help.”

“Yeah, well… I’ll stop bugging you.”

“Bugging me?” the brunette repeated, frowning, because for some reason he really didn’t like the sound of that.

“Yeah. I’ll give you your space.”

_Space? I don’t need space, I’m fine._

“Caleb-”

“I’m really tired, Alec,” the blonde said, cutting him off. “We can talk in the morning if you want, but I’ve had a long day.”

Alec swallowed and nodded. “Yeah… okay,” he said quietly, watching as the blonde buried his head back into his pillow. “We’ll talk then.”

With a sigh he lay down as well and stared up at the ceiling. Caleb seemed short with him but he might only be tired, as he said. Or maybe he was angry with Alec for snapping at him yet again. He thought Alec wanted space, after all. What did that even mean? Alec liked their friendship thus far – he didn’t want it to change.

_All because of Melanie and her stupid assumption…_

Could he blame Melanie, though? Was it her fault? Sure, she suggested it, _assumed_ it, but Alec was the one messing up. He was the one snapping unnecessarily at Caleb, not Melanie. It wasn’t her fault he’d been short with the blonde recently.

It might have been because of her words… but why? Why did her words bother him? Okay, so he was a little jealous when he thought Caleb was off kissing some girl… although that still confused him. He still didn’t know if Caleb had actually been with someone or what the situation there was, and while he was curious, he refused to ask because it honestly wasn’t any of his business.

Caleb could do what he wanted. Alec didn’t have any say in his life… right?

_Why are you so frustrated about this?_

Why?

He was jealous of a girl potentially being with Caleb, but as he thought about it, he didn’t know why. Did he like Caleb? The blonde was a great friend, so, yes, Alec did like him. But did he like him the more-than-a-friend kind of way? He didn’t know. He’d never been with anyone and rarely had any interest in ever being with someone. The world went to hell and he just ignored any little urge that popped up, and ignored other people in general.

He wasn’t sure what he was feeling because he had no experience to base it off of. He’d never been with anyone – had never even _kissed_ anyone. He invited a girl, Erica, to his birthday party… but that was a week before things officially went to hell and the party never happened. He planned on kissing her there, having his first kiss. Silas said it was a good idea and Erica was smart and pretty. At the time Alec hadn’t really cared either way. He wasn’t sure when he got interested in people – in _that_ kind of way, anyway.

Long after the end of the world started, that was for sure.

After things went to hell, he only had his family and when they were gone, all he had was Silas. When Silas died, he had no one. No one to care about him, no one to care for, and no one to _love_. The world went crazy and Alec never got any of a teen’s usually firsts… no kisses, no sex, and no love.

A part of him was disappointed but another part of him was actually grateful. The lack of all those firsts left him unattached, in more ways than one. He didn’t have to worry about losing more people, or create memories only to lose them later. It was just himself… and now, Caleb. The two of them, in this community where everything seemed so… _unreal_.

Alec sighed and sat up, scrubbing a hand across his face as he did so. He must have dozed off at some point because Caleb was currently awake, but still laying down, eyes open but staring up at the ceiling. For a moment the brunette watched him, wondering what to say, what kept racing through his mind and why this was getting to him _so much_ , and-

“Kiss me.”

Caleb’s eyes instantly snapped toward him as Alec’s own eyes widened, breath stuttering to a quick halt as the blonde sat up to look at him correctly.

“Come again?” Caleb asked, staring.

“I, uh… I m-mean… um…”

“Did you just tell me to kiss you?”

“I… maybe.”

Green eyes watched him for a long moment. “Why?”

“I…”

“Why did you tell me to kiss you.”

“I just… look, it’s stupid, okay? Let’s just forget it!” Alec said, shaking his head as he got to his feet and spun toward the door, eager to get out of there and go – anywhere, really. Anywhere but here.

A hand snagged his wrist and yanked him back.

“Talk to me,” Caleb said quietly, when Alec’s eyes found the blonde’s face.

“I just… I’ve never…”

“Never been kissed before?”

Alec bowed his head and nodded, wondering why his face felt so damn hot. He couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation but his stupid mouth started it. He couldn’t believe he seriously told Caleb to kiss him. As if that would ever happen! As if he would ever _want_ that to happen.

Caleb sighed. “Then I can’t, in good conscience, let you go on living like this.”

Alec’s gaze snapped up. “What do you-mmph-”

His words were swallowed in the warmth of Caleb’s lips gracefully colliding with his own, a gentle pressure of warm, supple and pliable lips ghosting across his mouth. Fingers snaked into the back of his hair and tugged faintly, forcing his head back and at a slight angle, and a tongue ran along his lips, asking for entrance. Feeling more than a little inferior, Alec fought the urge to push away because he’d never done this before. But he didn’t because it felt _good_. For a first kiss it was _good_ , and Caleb-

Alec’s eyes widened.

_Oh fuck. Caleb._

He tore away from the blonde, shoving him backward so hard the smaller man staggered somewhat. Alec ran a hand across his mouth, wiping at the saliva before he turned and stalked toward the bedroom door.

“Alec?”

“Don’t talk to me,” Alec hissed, throwing the door open.

A hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Alec-”

With a growl Alec rounded and punched the blonde in the face. By the time he realized what he’d done, Caleb’s expression was dark and the door was slamming in his face.

 

 

“You what?” Melanie asked, frowning.

Alec groaned from where he sat at the kitchen table. He came down for something to eat even though he wasn’t very hungry, and Melanie instantly grilled him about the bruise on Caleb’s face and the way the blonde was being ‘unusually short’ with people. All Alec wanted was some peace and quiet but Melanie kept grilling him for information, so he finally told her.

“I kind of punched him in the face,” he muttered.

“Why?”

“I just did, okay? It’s not my fault he’s being a jerk to everyone,” he said, tossing her a quick glare before he shoved his chair back and got to his feet.

“Sit down,” she said, eyes narrowed, and he shook his head.

“I did nothing wrong,” he said. “He’s the one that…”

“Oh? What’d he do?”

He narrowed his eyes further and spun, leaving the room because he didn’t have to answer to her. He refused to be interrogated by her when it was all her fault to begin with. He wouldn’t have been acting oddly to begin with if she hadn’t had that stupid misconception about him and Caleb…

He sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face as he pushed open the front door and stepped outside. He hadn’t seen Caleb since last night. The blonde hadn’t returned to the room and by the time Alec managed to build up enough courage to go after him, he was nowhere to be seen. No one had seen him. Then Melanie told him Caleb was snapping at people and wasn’t being friendly like he usually was, and Alec did feel guilty about it, but it wasn’t his fault. Right?

It wasn’t his fault Caleb was in a foul mood. It wasn’t his fault Caleb left last night. It wasn’t his fault Caleb _kissed him_.

 _Well… you did tell him to kiss you…_ his mind told him, and he scowled.

_I don’t know why I said that, and I didn’t mean for him to actually do it!_

Either way, he owed Caleb an apology. He shouldn’t have punched him for only trying to help.

“-sounds good,” a familiar voice said, and Alec snapped his head up to find Caleb talking to Tom, standing next to one of the buggies which was currently loaded with equipment.

“Thanks for coming,” Tom said with a smile.

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t mind. When are we leaving?”

“Ten minutes, give or take,” Tom said. “I just need to find Bess.”

“Try the shooting range – that dog loves to watch people shoot.”

“I’ll do that, thanks.”

As Tom walked away, Alec swallowed and approached Caleb, who had turned to continue putting things in the buggy.

“Caleb,” he murmured.

The blonde stiffened and turned slowly, expression blank as flat green eyes landed on him. “What?”

“I, um… I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For… look, I’m sorry, okay? You just… caught me off guard, and… I’m sorry.”

Caleb shrugged and turned back to the buggy. “I’m kind of busy, Alec.”

“You’re going out, huh?”

“Yes.”

“I can come too.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Alec asked. “I may not be great with a gun but I can take care of myself. Why did you tell them not to bother me with supply runs?”

“Because like an idiot I thought I’d be a good friend and let you relax in safety, but hey, silly me,” Caleb said as he tightened one of the ropes holding bags down. The horses attached to the buggy snorted impatiently and Alec stepped away from them, more toward Caleb.

“Caleb… I’m _sorry_.”

“Yeah, so you’ve said.”

“Would you look at me?”

Caleb sighed and stopped what he was doing, turning to face the brunette.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to… I just… you surprised me, that’s all.”

Green eyes narrowed. “Uh huh.”

“I shouldn’t have punched you. I know that.”

“And yet here we are.”

Alec narrowed his eyes. “I’m trying to apologize here.”

Caleb shrugged. “I’m kind of busy, Alec. I don’t have time for this.”

Alec sighed, biting his lower lip because he didn’t know what to say.

“But if it’s that important to you…” the blonde continued slowly, “then we can talk in a few days, when I get back.”

“A few days? Why so long?”

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Then why are you going?”

“Because they need to take a medic with them,” the blonde said, frowning at him. “While I’m gone, practice shooting, and maybe you can go on the next one, if you really want.”

Alec sighed and nodded slowly. “Yeah… okay, but… Are we… good?”

No one spoke for a minute, and he averted his gaze.

“We’ll talk when I get back,” Caleb said, just as footsteps approached from behind the brunette. Alec turned to find Tom standing there, a dog at his heels. Bess was a sweet German Shepard, about three years old. She belonged to one of the stable guys, last Alec heard.

A few other guys approached, some of them climbing into the buggy. Caleb was the last to climb into the buggy, where he disappeared from sight, and Tom climbed onto a separate horse and led the way out of town.

Alec watched them leave, hands shoved into his pockets, before he sighed and turned as they all disappeared from view.

 

 

A day into their trip, Caleb wondered exactly what it was they were doing. He was told they were looking for supplies, but no one bothered telling him what kind of supplies, or why they asked him, specifically, to join them. He trusted these people well enough, though, so he figured it was okay. He just couldn’t understand why they were traveling so far away for supplies, because for the most part, they’d only been going very short distances to get what they needed.

Then again, perhaps they collected all there was to be found in those other places. Maybe all that was left was what was further away. It made sense.

Alec’s words swiveled around his head, about how Caleb told the others not to bother him with these supply runs. It wasn’t that he thought Alec couldn’t handle it – he was sure the brunette could take care of himself, as he had been doing it for years without Caleb’s help. That didn’t mean he _had_ to, though, and it seemed like Alec had been through enough as it was. He wasn’t sure if this lessened the hardships at all, but he could at least try to help.

He also meant what he said – he was trying to simply let Alec relaxed and enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasted, after what they’d been through. They were lucky to have found this place, and been accepted into it so easily.

He couldn’t make the brunette’s choices for him, though. If Alec wanted to go on supply runs, he could, and Caleb would back him one-hundred percent.

For now, though, he had a job to focus on, and he couldn’t be distracted.

He’d deal with Alec in a few days.

“So where are we going?” he asked a few minutes later, unable to contain the question any longer.

Tom looked at him. “About a day or so out to look for some medicine or whatever we can find. We’re healthy enough as it is, but if one of us gets sick, it could put all of us in danger because we don’t have much medicine.”

Caleb nodded. “How far away is this?”

“By car it was about six hours or so,” Tom said with a sigh, a faint smile on his face. Caleb smirked at him.

“Cars were great,” he said. “Too bad gas stations quit on us.”

“You’re tellin’ me, kid,” Tom said with a small chuckle. “You’re tellin’ me.”

For a few moments, they traveling in silence. Then Adam, one of Tom’s friends even though he was about Caleb’s age, turned to Caleb and ran his gaze up and down him slowly. Caleb frowned at the brunette.

“Something wrong?”

“No, just wondering how you and lover-boy are doing,” Adam said with a smirk. “I don’t see any bites or anything. He doesn’t seem the gentle type, from what I heard when they brought him here.”

Caleb stared at him for a moment, mind blank, before he shook his head. “If you’re talking about Alec, we’re not together,” he said slowly.

Adam blinked at him. “You’re not?”

“Uh, no.”

Adam glanced at Tom, who busied himself with some conversation with one of the other guys going with them. The brunette turned back to the blonde.

“Sorry for the misunderstanding,” Adam said. “Just thought… well, you know. You two are awfully friendly.”

“We’ve been through a lot,” Caleb said. “It’s been… hard.”

“I hear that.” Adam held his fist out. Caleb stared at it for a moment before he remembered the movement, and brought his own fist up, bumping it against Adam’s. The brunette grinned at him and Caleb couldn’t help but smile back.

An hour later, their trip was delayed by the appearance of several zephroes. And Caleb learned exactly why he’d been brought along.

After all, a medic was always needed on supply runs.

Except not everyone could be saved.

 

 

            Days passed slowly. For the most part, Alec busied himself with the puppies and housework, since there didn’t appear to be much for him to fix, or at least not anything people needed help with. He tried to practice shooting but since Caleb’s absence he found his aim got worse and worse, though he wasn’t sure what that meant or how Caleb helped in any way. All he did was give him pointers, after all, which he still remembered, so he wasn’t sure why he was doing so horribly now.

            He tried not to think about Caleb, because this knot formed in his stomach whenever he stopped to think about how long it had been, even though he wasn’t sure why. He and the blonde still needed to have that talk, even though a part of him wondered if it was Caleb’s way of just blowing him off. He couldn’t blame the blonde for not wanting to talk to him, after all. He’d snapped at him too many times, had punched him the face for kissing him – no, for doing what he _said_ – and had tried apologizing too many times. It seemed that was all he did lately.

            He needed to get this cleared up. He needed to simply be open with Caleb, and explain things to him. Explain how he was jealous of the thought of some girl leaving that lipstick on his shirt. How his stomach hurt when he thought Caleb was going on some fancy date before he learned it was only to entertain some little girl who, for some reason, got her hopes up and thought Caleb was coming to her tea party. The blonde didn’t disappoint, and Alec wished he could have seen that grin on the little girl’s face, because that was a sight he never saw anymore. Sometimes he wondered if that kind of happiness – that kind of _innocence_ – even still existed.

            Here, it did. In this community, happiness did thrive. It was odd, and perhaps wrong for the kids to be living their lives and not know of the dangerous the outer world had, but it was… _good_. It was good to see. Yes, the world had fallen into disarray, but at least the innocence and happiness of children still existed somewhere.

            Even if it stopped existing for Alec all-too-soon, that didn’t mean it had to be like that for these kids and the people here.

            “I’d give you a penny but I don’t have any money,” Melanie said, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to find her standing next to him at the kitchen table. He hadn’t even realized she’d entered the room, and he couldn’t remember how long he’d been sitting there. “Gimme your thoughts.”

            Alec scowled. “What makes you think I’m thinking anything?”

            “Please,” she scoffed. “You’ve got that pensive look goin’. When’s Blondie comin’ back?”

            “Caleb said a few days,” he sighed. “It’s only been three.”

            “Have you talked to him yet?”

            “No. He said we would when he gets back.”

            She nodded. “Get to it, when he does. Brooding doesn’t suit you.”

            With that, she turned and left the room, leaving him scowling after her.

 

 

The first two nights of Caleb’s absence, Alec slept okay. The third night, he woke up several times. The fourth night he couldn’t get to sleep. He wasn’t sure why, and he certainly wasn’t going to say it was because the blonde wasn’t there. He’d been fine for years without Caleb there when he slept, and he’d be okay now.

            It wasn’t like he was alone, after all. There was a whole town of people here to keep him company, and he wasn’t even alone in this house. Melanie was always there, living in one of the other rooms. If he wanted he could track her down and… what? Ask her to keep him company while he slept? No. That was crazy.

            He was fine. He just… had a headache and his stomach was doing that stupid thing with the knots again. It’d stop soon and he’d be fine, like always.

            Sighing, he stared up at the ceiling and tried to quiet his mind enough to close his eyes, except it never seemed to happen. He just kept staring and the hours passed slowly.

            On the fifth night, he didn’t even bother laying down because he knew he couldn’t sleep.

            And he would admit it was because he was alone. He’d grown used to having someone there with him while he slept, and while it was a little embarrassing, he’d admit it now. He missed Caleb. He missed listening to the blonde’s breaths lull him to sleep.

            And maybe that was creepy, but it’d be the same if it had been Melanie he’d been traveling with all this time, he was sure. He just grew used to another person’s presence always there, especially at night when they slept, and now it was gone and it was a change he wasn’t ready for just yet.

            The sixth day he got up irritated, having paced and sat around all night without a wink of sleep. By now he would admit he was worried. Caleb said a few days and it had nearly been a week. A few days was 3-4 days, right? Not six. Not a week.

            Melanie was worried, too. Several others in town were fidgety, more on edge than he’d seen them yet. He wasn’t entirely sure what it meant, but he didn’t like it. He found himself watching the edge of town more often than not, that gateway Caleb disappeared through nearly a week ago.

            He all but gave up on sleep.

            The seventh day came and went.

            As did the eighth.

            And the ninth.

            By the tenth Alec was sleep-deprived and ready to claw someone’s eyes out. Everyone was on edge and no one wanted to talk. All he got were either irritated or worried looks, and none of his questions were answered. When he asked what kind of supply run it was, he got the answer of ‘various things, mostly medicine’ and where they were going, he got the answer of ‘wherever they have to, might be a few days longer’. Those days came and went.

            Even the people he originally asked were casting worried glances now. There was talk of a group being sent out to find out what happened.

            Alec didn’t like thinking about that.

            _What happened_.

            Like it was past tense, like Caleb and the others weren’t coming back, which they _were_. They were coming back, because Alec and Caleb had a lot of things to talk about, and Alec needed fucking _sleep_ and he couldn’t without the blonde there.

            _Fuck. Just come on. Come back. C’mon. Caleb, I’m tired. C’mon. Where the hell are you?_

            On the tenth night, he sat on his bed and stared at the ground, unsure as to what to do – what he _could_ do. Ten days was far too long. A _week_ was too long, let alone ten goddamn days.

            He didn’t know what to do.

            And then the door opened, and he turned to snap at Melanie because he _didn’t want to talk right now, dammit_ , but wound up jumping to his feet with a surprised intake of air as his eyes landed on familiar green orbs and a haggard, tired face.

            “Caleb!” he breathed, moving forward without thinking. He yanked the blonde toward him and into a tight hug, feeling that ever-present knot in his stomach finally begin to unwind. Caleb was stiff in his hold, and after a moment, Alec released him and stepped back somewhat, frowning. “Where the hell have you _been_? It’s been ten days! Ten! Ten goddamn days you said it was only a _few_ , and no one knew where any of you _were_ , or if you were coming _back_ , and… and what the fuck! Where the hell _were you_ , you goddamn, selfish son-of-a-”

            Caleb watched him through his rant, until he suddenly stopped watching, and instead cut Alec off.

            Alec barely had time to release a startled breath as the blonde’s mouth connected with his own in a passionate, demanding kiss which instantly took his breath away. Hands wound into his hair, yanking, tugging, pulling, as lips brushed against his own, biting, sucking, licking. Before he knew what he was doing, his own hands came up and surrendered to the blonde’s body, fingers combing through strawberry-blonde strands, thumbs hooking in the loops of Caleb’s pants, all movements he’d never made before but they came naturally to him now, his body on auto-pilot as his mind, for the moment, shut down.

            Hands brushed down his sides, slipped under his shirt and skimmed down the bare skin of his sides, leaving his breath shallow and rushed as his own hands attempted to return the favor, but inevitably got tangled in Caleb’s hair again, though he wasn’t sure how that happened. Oh well. His hands had a mind of their own and Caleb’s hair was oddly soft.

            Hands tugged at his shirt, hinted, lifted, and soon it was tossed to the side and their mouths connected again, two magnets which refused to be parted, forever reuniting. Soon enough Alec’s hands got the newsflash of what they should now be doing, and Caleb’s dirty, torn black shirt was tossed to the ground. Hands skimmed over smooth skin and-

            Alec ripped away, eyes wide. “What the hell?” he managed to breathe, staring at Caleb’s side.

            At the _gashes_ on Caleb’s side.

            The un-bandaged but not completely healed gashes.

            “It’s fine,” Caleb said breathlessly, shaking his head. “It’s fine, I’m okay.”

            “What happened?” Alec asked, taking a timid step forward, gaze locked on those gashes. His hands reached out, fingers lightly prodding the tarnished skin.

            Caleb’s hands grabbed his own, leading them away from his side. “It’s fine, Alec. We… Alec, _please_.”

            Alec stared, gaze finally shifting toward Caleb’s face, because that was an odd thing to say. His mind slowly started to catch up to his actions but before he could decipher what had happened or what it meant, Caleb’s mouth was firmly sealed over his again, and all logical thought scattered.

            The blonde’s mouth left his and instead attached itself to his neck, biting and nibbling, sucking and licking, and dear God, Alec never thought that could feel so _good_ … why did no one ever tell him about this?

            The rumble against his skin was the only indication he had of the blonde speaking.

            “Huh?” he managed to croak out.

            “Lemme forget,” Caleb said quietly, a breathless plea against his skin. “Just lemme forget. For tonight. Please. Lemme forget.”

            Alec wasn’t sure what that meant, or what Caleb wanted, but soon he was swept away in the chaos that was Caleb, and somehow he lost his socks in the process. Tomorrow he’d wake up and realize they were gone forever, somehow, but that wasn’t important now.

            What was important was the fact Caleb’s hands were slipping into his pants.

            And the fact that inside them, something was very, very hard.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three: First Kiss, First Time, Why Not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is rated M chapter. If this bothers you, please skip this chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Three: First Kiss, First Time, Why Not?

 

Swift, nimble fingers undid Alec’s pants in a few seconds, sending them sliding down his legs. Barely aware of what he was doing, mind adrift in a murky yet hot haze, he stepped out of his pants and allowed his fingers to latch onto the blonde’s jeans as well. He undid the button but they did not slide down, and he scowled as he fingered the belt which he hadn’t noticed before.

            “Something wrong?” Caleb breathed against his neck.

            “No,” Alec managed to say, “just being thwarted by a buckle.”

            The blonde’s laugh was warm and inviting, and finally Alec managed to undo the damn the thing. Caleb stepped out of his pants, both of them now clad only in their underwear. The throbbing hardness confined in his underwear was torture, but soon Caleb’s lips were back on his own, swallowing any complaint he may have had, and hands skimmed down his sides, over his hips, fingers toying with the band of his underwear. Hands moving of their own accord, they trailed up Caleb’s sides, over his neck and into the back of his hair, disappearing into soft blonde strands.

            A tongue danced across his lips and he allowed the blonde entrance. The muscle entered his mouth and swirled against his own, a foreign yet not unwelcome feeling, sending chills down the brunette’s spine. In one fluid motion his underwear disappeared from his waist and dropped to the floor, leaving him to step out of them. His hands repeated the movement on Caleb, and soon the blonde was naked as well. Swiftly, Caleb’s hands shifted the two of them and lightly shoved Alec backward, causing the brunette to land on his back on the bed, Caleb coming down on top of him.

            _What are you doing? Do you even want to do this?_

_It’s Caleb. This… isn’t bad._

_Do you like him like that?_

_I like him. I was jealous. I was worried. I trust him._

_Do you even know what this is?_

_Shut up, I can’t think right now._

            As was the racing of Alec’s thoughts as lips sealed against his own before trailing downward, latching onto his neck, sucking, pulling, biting. Unsure what to do himself, Alec ran his hands up and down Caleb’s sides, caressing various places, careful of the healing gashes, even though he didn’t want to think about those right now.

            _He’s hurt. What are you doing? You should stop this._

_Shut. Up. This is what he wants._

_But is it what you want?_

_It’s… not what I_ don’t _want, so…_

            And that was good enough for now. Alec wasn’t sure what he was doing, or even really where this was going, but he trusted Caleb. And obviously his body wanted this, because it was reacting accordingly, and for the first time since this whole horrible mess started so many years ago, he felt _content_ and… _happy_. He was happy for once and he didn’t want it to end.

            Caleb pulled back, frowning at him, hands on either side of the brunette as he pushed himself off somewhat. “Is everything okay? We… I’ll stop, if you want.”

            Alec shook his head. “No, um… it’s okay. I’m fine, just… um, never done anything like this before,” he admitted sheepishly.

            Caleb sighed and nodded. “Yeah… I didn’t think you had. Do you… we don’t have to do this. Okay? I just… Yeah, I’ll stop.”

            With that, the blonde began to roll away. Alec’s mind blanked momentarily, before his body reacted on its own, his hand shooting out to snag Caleb’s wrist, yanking him back into his previous position. Green eyes blinked down at him, locking with his own hazel ones.

            “Alec?” Caleb asked quietly, voice merely a breath of air, warm against his face.

            “Ten days,” Alec murmured without thinking. “You were gone for ten days. I… What I wanted to talk about was… Well, I think I might _like_ you… in a… in a… non-friendship kind of way?”

            _Oh, fuck. Why did you say that? Dammit, he’ll hate me!_

_If he doesn’t like you in some way, then why is he on top of you right now? If you’ll remember, you’re not the only one with an erection._

            Alec blinked because that was true. Suddenly he was all-too-aware of his own hardness rubbing against Caleb’s left hip, a friction he suddenly couldn’t get enough of, but he couldn’t do anything about it right now… not with the blonde still staring at him.

            “You do?” Caleb breathed.

            “I… I think so,” he said. “I… I was jealous when I thought… well, when-”

            The blonde’s lips sealed over his own, swallowing the rest of his words. Alec would have complained but it seemed his words weren’t important, because soon Caleb was straddling him, sitting on his legs, skimming his hands down the brunette’s sides.

            “You don’t have to do anything,” Caleb said, voice almost a purr, which left chills crawling down Alec’s spine, none of which were unwelcome.

            Soft, warm kisses trailed down his chest and stomach, hands lightly tracing patterns along his sides, tickling but yet not, leaving the brunette in a peaceful haze, despite the throbbing between his legs.

            Then the blonde’s fingers curled around something much more interesting, and Alec arched himself somewhat, gasping because this was certainly new territory. The hand encircling him pumped once, twice, over and over and Alec could not suppress the moan of pleasure, because _fuck_ , who knew he was missing out on _this_?

            Caleb shifted off of him, and Alec didn’t have time to question it as soon something much better replaced the hand, and-

            “Holy _fuck_ ,” he gasped, fingers curling into the soft blonde strands as Caleb’s head bobbed up and down, tongue dancing across the head of his cock, swirling, inviting. “Oh God, don’t stop!”

            Caleb hummed in agreement, the vibrations teasing the brunette, leaving him tightening his grip in the blonde’s hair. His mouth was magic, dancing across his cock in fluid movements, leaving the brunette gasping, moaning, tightening his hold on the strands, until finally he exploded inside the blonde’s mouth. Then he collapsed backward in a haze of bliss, barely aware of the bed beneath him, barely aware of the fact Caleb released his hold and pulled away, rolling off of him.

            By the time he caught his breath, Caleb was seated next to him, a faint smirk on his face as he drew his hand across his mouth, wiping away what was left of Alec’s cum.

            “Sorry,” Alec breathed, smirking back.

            “It’s okay,” Caleb said, shrugging. “Usually, just so we’re clear, you give the person a warning before you… well, you know.”

            Alec nodded. “Sorry,” he said again.

            Caleb smiled. “Did it at least feel good?”

            “Oh God, _yes_ ,” Alec said, nodding quickly. “Jeez… what the fuck, man? You’re… that was great.”

            Which was surprising, as he’d never thought about doing that with the blonde. Nor did he ever think it would feel that _good_...

            “Do you… want me to do you?” he asked, because the blonde was still hard. Quickly he sat up, watching Caleb as the blonde shook his head.

            “No. It’s… it’s okay.”

            “Huh? But… you did me, and…”

            “I’m not going to make you do something you’re not ready for.”

            “But you said… don’t you want this?”

            Or was Caleb messing with him? A knot formed in the brunette’s stomach.

            “I do,” Caleb said with a sigh, “but I’m not forcing you to do anything.”

            “I want to.”

            Green eyes blinked at him, and Alec’s face burned.

            “Uhm, I mean… uh, yeah, I want to.”

            “Want to what?” Caleb asked with a faint smile.

            Alec blinked at him. “Uh… I want to… I can return the favor,” he said, running his tongue across the roof of his mouth, swallowing at the thought. Did he even know what he was doing? What he was getting himself into? He was inexperienced, painfully so, and thus it probably wouldn’t be nearly as good for Caleb as it was for him. “Or… or something. Whatever you want. I mean…”

            It was Caleb who wanted this in the first place, right? He entered the room and Alec ranted at him for being gone so long, and then suddenly they were kissing and then this happened. Caleb said he wanted to forget, but forget what, Alec didn’t know. A part of him wanted to bring it up but some selfish part of him didn’t want to ruin the moment, because right now his gaze was latched onto that firm hardness between the blonde’s legs.

            The blonde watched him for a moment. Alec felt his gaze on him and finally managed to look away, cheeks burning as he did so.

            _Stop staring._

            He couldn’t help it, though. He never even knew he had an appreciation for the human body, be it male or female, but Caleb looked… breathtaking, really. Even with those healing gashes and the scars lining places of his flesh. It told stories of battles won and lost, but the war wasn’t over yet. The blonde had what was known as a farmer’s tan, where his arms were darker than his chest, stomach and shoulders, leaving the outline of a short-sleeved shirt. The blonde was thin but Alec could clearly see the muscles beneath that tight cover of flesh.

            Then Caleb shifted, interrupting Alec’s view as he slid forward more, closer to him, and leaned in close, lightly sucking on his neck. It was an odd sensation but not un-pleasant.

            “Anything, huh?” Caleb asked softly, breath ghosting over the brunette’s neck, tickling the skin.

            “Yeah,” Alec breathed back.

            A pause while he managed to pull his thoughts back together.

            “Just because I’m… new at this doesn’t mean I don’t want it,” he said, cheeks burning again because what was he saying? Did he want this? He hadn’t even been thinking about it until this started happening, and now it was all he could think of. “I mean if… I’m going to have a first time, it might as well be with my first kiss.”

            _That was so incredibly lame, I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t laugh and go away._

            More kisses along his neck, moving upward, over his jawline and finally back to his lips. Alec tried his best to kiss back correctly and wondered if it was even any good, because the only experience he had with this was Caleb. Despite the fact he just came not long ago, he felt his cock twitch.

            “Okay,” Caleb murmured, a breath against his mouth, “turn around, babe.”

            A thrill crawled through Alec’s spine at the name, and he realized Caleb hadn’t actually been calling him by it lately. He actually missed it.

            Caleb pulled away and Alec sighed and rolled over, getting to his knees. He knew very little about this but knew it might hurt, and felt himself grow tense all over as Caleb ran a hand along his back and downward, over the curve of his ass.

            “Relax, babe.”

            Alec swallowed and released a breath slowly, willing his body to relax. A moment later it complied with his wishes, and Caleb’s hands resumed movement.

            “Do you want prep or anything?”

            “Prep? Uhhhh no,” Alec said, because he was sure if he could handle this world as it was these days, he could handle doing it without prep. He wasn’t even entirely sure what that was.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Okay… this is probably going to hurt, but just tell me to stop and I will,” Caleb told him, and Alec bit his lip and nodded.

            Hands grabbed his hips, pushing him forward somewhat, leaving Alec on his hands and knees. The blonde came up behind him and something warm and hard pressed against the crack of his ass.

            “Unfortunately condoms are hard to find anymore, so is that okay?”

            “Just do it,” Alec said, bracing himself.

            “Relax, babe. You’re too tense. Are you sure you don’t want prep?”

            “No, just… do it.”

            And Caleb did.

            The head of his cock began to press into Alec’s hole, very slowly but soon it really started to hurt and he released a gasp, hands curling in the bed’s covers. Instantly Caleb stopped, simply staying put, hands holding tight to his hips.

            After a moment, Alec nodded, releasing a slow breath as the pain began to subside. Caleb pushed forward again until Alec tensed and shook his head. The burning began to recede soon enough and in its place was this intense feeling of pleasure, and when the blonde started moving again, it was entirely too slow.

            “Faster,” he urged.

            Caleb forced himself in faster, leaving a twinge of pain echoing through the brunette but he ignored it because the pleasure was soon to follow, and soon he didn’t even feel the pain. Caleb pulled back out and then in again, slowly, but after an irritated grunt from Alec, went faster still. Soon they were in a steady rhythm, Alec’s fingers curling into the covers as he was rammed into from behind, Caleb hands grasping tight to his hips, strong enough for bruises but he’d worry about that later. Right now all he could think about was-

            “God, _yes_ ,” he gasped when Caleb pushed into a certain spot, leaving him seeing stars as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, body thrumming with pleasure.

            Caleb released a satisfied grunt from behind him and pulled out, then back in quickly, again and again ramming into that spot, and Alec couldn’t stop the moan from escaping him even if he tried.

            “ _Caleb, yes,_ ” he panted breathlessly, “harder.”

            Caleb did as he was told and the thrusts became harder and faster, leaving Alec jerking forward and then back with every push and pull, the blonde’s hands the only thing keeping him steady. His own cock was very hard again by this point, and he could feel it happening, knew it was coming, and managed to remember Caleb’s words.

            “Gonna cum,” he managed to say, right before he exploded all over the covers.

            “Same,” Caleb grunted, and pulled out of Alec as he came over the brunette’s back.

            And then the two collapsed next to each other, Alec on his stomach and Caleb on his back, completely exhausted, both breathing heavily. Alec rolled his head to face Caleb and found the blonde watching him, a tired smile on his face.

            “So,” the blonde breathed, “how was your first time?”

            “Great,” Alec said, rolling as he had this sudden uncontrollable urge to wipe that smile off the blonde’s face.

            He did so by capturing the blonde’s lips with his own in a passionate kiss.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four: Exception to Every Rule

Chapter Twenty-Four: Exception to Every Rule

 

Alec woke alone.

            At first he blinked his eyes open and wondered what was missing, then remembered that he and Caleb slept in the blonde’s bed last night because of the… _activity_ they did in Alec’s bed.

            And now Alec’s cheeks were burning, and he was still alone. Caleb was nowhere to be seen. This wasn’t entirely unusual as Caleb was usually up before he was, but for some reason he thought today would be different, and was mildly upset that it wasn’t.

            Did Caleb regret what they did last night or did he simply have work to do? No, he just got back from a supply run – they’d give him a few days before they asked him to do anything. Plus he was still healing. That left only one option:

            Shame from last night. He regretted what happened even though he instigated it in the first place.

            He wasn’t sure why it mattered so much. What did he expect to happen? They were both stressed and needed an outlet, that was all. It didn’t mean anything.

            Except that felt more like a lie. Alec had admitted he liked the blonde, and Caleb’s response had been to kiss him. Things escalated from there. Did that mean Caleb felt the same?

            He wasn’t sure why it mattered. It was simply a way to relieve stress. Nothing more, nothing less. But it was Alec’s first… everything, really. First kiss, first time, and the first time he actually _liked_ someone. Because he could admit it now. He liked Caleb and missed him while he was gone. For the first time since Silas, he actually had someone to _worry_ about.

            So, no, that wasn’t _nothing_. It meant something.

            But did Caleb think it was nothing? The blonde was far more experienced than he was, and Alec was sure Caleb had done this before.

            Why that mattered, though, he wasn’t sure.

            _Doesn’t matter anyway. Caleb regrets it. Just forget about it._

            Sighing, he sat up and ran a hand through his disheveled head of hair. Then he got dressed for the day, and wondered what they were going to do with his bed.

            Suddenly the door pushed open and he looked up to find Caleb entering with a plate of food. The blonde caught his eye and smiled sheepishly.

            “Brought you some food,” he said.

            Alec stared. “You… didn’t leave?”

            Caleb sighed and put the plate down on the table that separated the two beds. “We need to talk,” he said quietly.

            Alec swallowed. “About what?”

            “Eat first.”

            The brunette frowned, wanting to argue, but simply nodded and sat on Caleb’s bed, picking up the fork on his plate. He took the first bite of his omelet as Caleb sat next to him. He ate slowly, a knot in his stomach as the silence surrounded them.

            _It didn’t mean anything. He regrets it. He’s ashamed._

            Alec couldn’t blame him. After all – what was so special about him? He had no experience, therefore couldn’t compensate Caleb or return the favor in any way, and just thinking about last night left his face burning. Honestly, he was pathetic.

            Finally he finished eating and put the plate down on the table, taking in a slow breath as he faced the blonde. “Alright,” he murmured, “talk.”

            “First – are you okay?” Caleb asked.

            Alec frowned. “I’m fine,” he said. “Why?”

            The blonde rolled a shoulder in a slow shrug. “I mean after last night.”

            Melting. His face had to be melting. “I’m fine.”

            “Okay. Good.”

            “What else?”

            Certainly Caleb didn’t just want to see if he was okay.

            The blonde took in a breath and released it slowly. “I wanted to apologize.”

            “For what?”

            “For last night.”

            Alec nodded. “Oh.”

            It wasn’t like he wasn’t expecting it, so he wasn’t sure why that knot tightened in his stomach, but it did. He regretted eating all the food on his plate.

            “I don’t mean… not like that,” Caleb said quickly, causing Alec’s brows to raise. “I mean… Okay, I don’t regret what happened. I’m not apologizing for that. I’m apologizing for _why_ it happened.”

            “Why it happened?” Alec echoed, frowning. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            _Why did it happen?_

            “You said you wanted to forget,” he said, remembering the blonde’s words prior to last night’s activities. “And… fuck, are _you_ okay?” He reached toward the blonde’s side, remembering the healing wound.

            Caleb held up a hand, warding him off. “I’m fine,” he said. “And yes, I wanted to forget.”

            “Forget what?”

            Caleb sighed and looked away. “The trip… didn’t exactly go as planned.”

            “No, it didn’t. You were gone for _ten days_ , Caleb.”

            “I know. Things went well at first. We sought out a few ruined towns but there was nothing to be found, so we had to go farther away. A few times we came across some zephroes, but nothing major, you know?”

            “But?” Alec asked quietly, because he knew there was something he was missing. _Something_ made Caleb upset, had him wanting to _forget_. From what Alec had seen of the guy so far, he was pretty unshakeable and resolute, but this had shaken him.

            Caleb looked at the ground, chewing on his lower lip. “We were attacked again.”

            “It wasn’t… neutrohales, was it?” Alec asked, gut twisting.

            “No,” Caleb said, shaking his head, “not neutrohales.”

            “Zephroes?”

            “Worse – people.”

            “ _People_?” Alec echoed, frowning. “How are they _worse_? I mean… was it more cells?”

            Now new questions raged through his mind, things like:

            _Did they capture you?_

_What did they make you do?_

_Were you put in a cell again?_

_Where are the others?_

            “Not more cells, not exactly,” Caleb said.

            “So… what?”

            “We were captured,” the blonde said, and Alec took in a slow breath, nodding. “About three days into the trip, we were captured. Tortured.”

            “ _Tortured_?” His mind blanked momentarily.

            “Some of them,” Caleb said. “I could hear them screaming. Then they locked us all in a room, and…”

            “And what?” Alec asked, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He’d already heard more than he wanted, but he couldn’t stop listening now. He had to know the whole story.

            Caleb scrubbed a hand across his face. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

            “Huh? Caleb?”

            The blonde got to his feet. “I have work to do.”

            “You just got back to town,” Alec said, jumping up after him. “Take a few days off! No one is going to make you do anything! Tell me what’s on your mind. What happened?”

            Dark green eyes locked onto his face, leaving Alec swallowing. “I can’t talk about it.”

            “But… I’ll listen,” Alec said. “I just… I just want to _understand_ what you wanted to _forget_ …”

            Caleb was the one who started this conversation. The least he could do was finish it so Alec didn’t feel so damn confused. He still didn’t know what to think of last night but he knew Caleb wanted to forget something, and that was what started everything. If he knew _what_ the blonde wanted to forget, he could make sense of everything and figure things out.

            “Talk to me,” Alec said quietly, stepping toward the blonde who stood in the middle of the room, eyes glued to the ground. He wrapped his fingers around Caleb’s wrist, pulling the blonde toward him. Caleb didn’t resist and let himself be pulled, eyes still locked onto the floor as though magnetized. “Caleb. Look at me. C’mon.”

            Caleb took in a breath and finally lifted his gaze. “I don’t want you to hate me,” he said, voice a mere breath of air. For a moment Alec wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly, but the half-hopeful, half-broken look on the blonde’s face wiped away all doubt.

            “I could never hate you,” Alec told him truthfully. “I mean… hell, you’re my friend! My first friend since Silas, and… and I like you, okay?”

            How could Caleb think he could ever hate him? The blonde hadn’t turned on him when Alec told him how he killed Silas – why would Alec turn on him? After all they’d been through, he doubted anything could make him hate the blonde.

            “Talk to me, Cal,” he said quietly, tightening his grip around Caleb’s wrist. The blonde’s gaze skittered away and he sighed. “Caleb, please. I’ve told you my secret – I told you about Silas. You didn’t judge me, and you have to believe I won’t judge you. So just… talk to me, okay?”

            Caleb took in a breath and nodded, scrubbing his free hand across his face. “Alright,” he murmured, glancing at Alec again. “I think it’s time I told you my secret.”

            A chill crept through Alec’s spine and he nodded. Caleb gestured at the bed.

            “You might want to sit down.”

            The brunette nodded again and sat down, but only after making sure the blonde followed after him. His fingers slid away from Caleb’s wrist as the two sat next to each other. Green eyes skittered away, and Alec chewed on his lower lip, wondering what could be said. What kind of secret was Caleb hiding?

            He knew the blonde was hiding something. He’d known it for a while. There were many things about Caleb he didn’t understand – like how he seemed to know more than he let on, how he could take on five zephroes by himself, like it was _nothing_ …

            Caleb said they both had secrets, and he would reveal his when Alec revealed his own, which Alec had. He told Caleb about Silas, but hadn’t asked about the blonde’s own secret. He didn’t want to rush Caleb, because he knew how hard it could be, to spill your guts and hope to not be hated. But there was no way he could hate the blonde, he was sure. They’d been through a lot together, and he trusted Caleb more than he did anyone else in this world right now.

            “I was sick,” Caleb said quietly, breaking Alec from his thoughts as he snapped his gaze back toward the blonde. Caleb’s gaze stayed firmly locked on the ground, hands wringing themselves in his lap. Alec itched to reach out and stop them but knew that wouldn’t be welcomed.

            “Leukemia, you said,” Alec murmured.

            The blonde nodded. “Yes. Leukemia. I had it for years. It… it really _sucked_. Other kids didn’t understand, not when you’re little. They thought it was contagious, you know? And… and, well, the other part doesn’t matter.”

            “What do you mean?”

            Caleb shook his head. “The point is, I was sick, and my dad was a researcher. The doctors stopped my treatment because I was too sick, according to them, so my dad’s last hope was his own work.”

            “His own…?” A knot formed in his stomach.

            “He was one of the scientists working on the… the strain which made the mutations,” Caleb murmured, voice losing strength toward the end. For a moment Alec wondered if he heard correctly, but there was no way the blonde could fake that down-trodden expression.

            “He… he helped create the _mutations_?” he asked, head abuzz with thoughts and fear.

            _His dad helped start this._

_His dad made the mutations._

_His dad used those experiments on sick people, making the mutations._

_Caleb was sick…_

_His dad… used… his research…_

            “Oh, God,” Alec breathed, staring at Caleb to find the blonde’s eyes squeezed shut. “He did it on you, didn’t he? He… He injected you with… You’re a mutation?”

            The blonde stayed silent.

            Alec growled and snagged Caleb’s shoulder, shaking him until green eyes opened and focused on him. “You’re a fucking _mutation_ , is that what you’re trying to tell me? You’re… You’re one of _them_?”

            “Alec – no,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “I...”

            “Because I know firsthand that there’s no cure,” Alec said, narrowing his eyes, Silas’ slack face echoing through his mind. “Silas… he _died_. And my _family_ … they… they’re _gone_ , okay, and _there’s no cure_ , and you’re _one of them_!”

            With a growl, he threw himself off the bed and toward the center of the room. Caleb stayed where he was on the bed, watching him, expression dark but at least he wasn’t staring at the floor again. Alec took in a few deep breaths but they didn’t help rein in his foul mood, nor did they do anything to stop the anger from flooding through.

            An anger he couldn’t understand, because he didn’t know why he was _so damn angry_ …

            “You… All this time, and… You’re one of them!”

            “I’m clearly not one of them,” Caleb snapped, eyes narrowing. Alec almost paused, noticing the darkness hidden in that gaze, but instead he kept going.

            “I mean, hell, you got _bitten_ and didn’t fucking-”

            “What?” Caleb cut him off as he got to his feet, suddenly right in front of Alec, the two nearly nose to nose. Angry green blazed across his face while Alec blinked at the weight of it. “I didn’t fucking _die_ , is that it? I didn’t die so now I’m a monster? Huh?”

            “I didn’t-”

            “I’m _sorry_ I didn’t fucking _die_ , okay? I should have. I know I should have. But I _didn’t_ and I’m so fucking _sorry_ you had to get _stuck_ with a damn _monster_.”

            “I didn’t mean it like that,” Alec hissed. “Cut me some damn slack! I’ve been surrounded by these _things_ for _years_ and I lost fucking _everyone_ to them! And yet you’re saying you’re fucking _immune_? How the hell do I know you’re not fucking _lying_ , or you’re not going to fucking _turn_ any damn _minute_ now?”

            Fingers curled into the fabric of Alec’s shirt, drawing him toward the blonde, but it was anything but friendly. A low growl rumbled from Caleb’s throat as he glared into Alec’s eyes, hands fisted in his shirt.

            “Caleb,” Alec said quietly, feeling the anger disperse somewhat at that dark look in the blonde’s eyes. “Caleb, c’mon. It’s okay. I… let’s just… calm down and talk this out, okay? Cal?”

            He brought a hand up and touched it to Caleb’s shoulder when the blonde didn’t reply, didn’t even look away from him. Caleb responded with a growl, fingers curling more in the fabric of the brunette’s shirt, drawing Alec closer still. The blonde’s hot breath danced across his face and suddenly it was hard to swallow.

            “Caleb?” he whispered, tongue heavy and dry. “C’mon. Cal?”

            Caleb took in a slow breath. “I don’t want to think I’m a monster… just because I lived. But you’re right, I _am_ one of them. Except I’m not.”

            “I don’t…”

            “I’m what they were _supposed_ to be. I’m the exception to the rule, I guess. When they went monster, I didn’t. I stayed the same, I stayed healthy, and I’m _still_ healthy.”

            “But _how_?” Alec asked. “ _Why_?”

            “I don’t _know_ ,” Caleb said. “Don’t you think I’ve thought about it? Don’t you think I’ve asked myself over and over, ‘why me?’ I _have_. And I don’t know why. I don’t know why I’m not a mutation. I don’t know why I’m not a zephro. I was injected with the zephro strain, you know. That’s what they started calling it – after. Zephro strain for things like leukemia and cancer, neutrohale strain for things like AIDS. And yet I’m still me. I don’t understand it but it’s how it is, and it’s been my life for a decade.”

            “But why _you_?” Alec asked, and he didn’t mean for it to come out how it sounded, but he just didn’t _understand_. The anger from earlier returned, though he wasn’t sure why. “How the hell could you _keep_ this from me? That’s something I would have _liked_ to fucking _know_!”

            “Why?” Caleb snapped. “Just so you could panic and kill me the first chance you got?”

            “Damn it! What if you randomly changed and I would have had _no idea_ , and-”

            Caleb’s fingers were still wrapped in his shirt, and they tightened, scratching against his skin as he was yanked closer to the blonde. He snapped his mouth shut and found himself staring into angry green eyes, their faces nearly touching once again, the blonde releasing a low growl. The anger dispersed once more, leaving him confused as to why he kept getting angry to begin with, because it didn’t make any _sense_.

            This was _Caleb_. He _trusted_ Caleb. Caleb wasn’t a monster. It wasn’t his fault he was injected with the zephro strain, and it wasn’t his fault it actually _worked_ for him.

Something changed in Caleb’s eyes.

            They didn’t soften, or go back to how they normally were. Instead, there was this… _resolution_ in them. A firmness which would not be changed, and clearly a decision had been made. Alec frowned, watching the way the blonde’s eyes twitched away from his face and toward the ground.

            “Caleb?” He lifted his hand and caught the blonde’s chin, directing his gaze back toward him. “What’s wrong? Okay, I overreacted, but, _fuck_ … we just need to sit down and talk about this, and… and, yeah. That’s all we need to do, okay? Simple.”

            The smile which spread across the blonde’s face was forced, half-hearted, and tired. There was also something… odd… about it too. Something…

            “Thanks, but that’s okay,” Caleb said with false cheeriness.

After having heard the real thing time and time again, Alec knew this was false by the slight inflection of his voice. That knot in his stomach returned with a vengeance. Fingers released his shirt and the blonde stepped away, leaving Alec’s hand to drop back to his side.

“Caleb?”

“I came here to tell you what I wanted to forget, and I will at least tell you that much.”

“Cal?”

“What I was trying to tell you was that, yes, we were captured and, yes, some of us were tortured. Then they decided to let in a dozen zephroes and watched as they killed everyone.” The blonde shrugged. “Except me, right? I don’t know why they didn’t kill me. They just sort of _surrounded_ me and then kind of backed off. I’m the only one that made it out alive, and I’m the only one to return after that run. A lot of good people died for no reason, except me. I was… afraid I was becoming one of them. That I was a _monster_. But I can see now that I was right.”

“You’re not a-”

“But that’s okay, right? I mean, no one was expected to make it back anyway, after ten days. So they’ll believe that I just… never came back.”

“What are you _talking_ about?” Alec asked, itching to shake some sense into the blonde. “I don’t understand. I know I overreacted, but anyone would when you’re throwing this in their face! Dammit, Caleb, you’re not a monster, okay? And… and I’m _sorry_ you had to go through all that, but… what are you saying?”

A part of him knew what Caleb was saying, but a much larger part refused to believe it.

Another tired smile from the blonde. “None of you will have to worry about me anymore. I’m gonna go far, far away and if I start to change… well, I’ll deal with it then.”

Alec shook his head. “You’re… _leaving_?”

The blonde stayed silent.

“You can’t just _leave_! I… _ten days_! I waited _ten days_ for you to get back, because I fucking _missed_ you, and I _trust_ you, and… you’re not going anywhere!”

Green eyes darkened, that nearly-forgotten cold look crossing his face. “If you try and stop me, you won’t like the outcome, Alec. I suggest you simply go back to sleep, and when you wake up later, you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“Caleb? C’mon, this… this is _stupid_ ,” Alec said, stepping toward the blonde. Caleb stepped back, away from him, a shutter crossing his face. “You’re not _leaving_. I know I overreacted, but… but I didn’t mean it, okay?”

“What we say in anger is often the simplest truth,” Caleb said.

“I didn’t mean it! I was just… damn it, Caleb! I lost _everyone_ , okay? I told Silas it would be okay. I told him… I hoped… I _hoped_ it would be different. I hoped he was immune. I _prayed_. But he _wasn’t_ and now… now you’re telling me it’s _possible_ for someone to be immune? I’m sorry I overreacted, but what did you expect me to do?”

For a moment, the two simply watched each other, green locked onto hazel.

Then Caleb stepped back, toward the door. “Stay safe, Alec.”

With that, his hand curled around the door knob and he disappeared through the doorway, the door closing quietly behind him.

For a moment, all Alec could do was stare. Watch as the blonde walked out of his life. Watch as what little normalcy he’d found shattered around him.

_No._

_Damn it,_ no _._

With a growl he threw open the door and tore after Caleb.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five: All Apologies

Chapter Twenty-Five: All Apologies

 

Panic tore through the brunette when, after five minutes, he couldn’t find the blonde. It couldn’t have been more than a moment or so before he tore after Caleb, but the blonde had vanished. The house was empty, everyone out doing their daily duties, and Melanie was nowhere to be seen. There was no one to ask if they had seen Caleb, and no way to know where he had gone. For all he knew, the blonde could have been out of town by now, and thus out of his life.

Swallowing, he quickened his pace and moved toward the edge of town, the front entrance as they often referred to it. It was the way Alec first entered and the way Caleb exited last Alec saw him leave. It was the only place Alec could think to look.

_Where are you, you bastard? You can’t just leave._

_Why not?_ His mind argued. _You did practically call him a monster._

_I didn’t mean it like that! Dammit, he’s not a monster, he’s my friend!_

He wasn’t sure why he reacted the way he did, when he assured the blonde he wouldn’t judge him. Caleb hadn’t judged him when he told him about Silas, after all, yet he didn’t return the favor. He overreacted and judged him, and called him _one of them_. A monster, a mutation, a potential threat. He called _Caleb_ ‘one of them’.

“Caleb?” he called. “Where are you?”

Horses neighed off to the side, ready for their hay. A few people tossed him odd looks and he remembered how Caleb said no one knew he was back yet, no one except Alec. Thus they didn’t know what happened, and it probably looked like he was crazy, calling for someone who had been missing for nearly two weeks.

“Caleb! Dammit, where are you!”

He stopped at the gate, staring at the doors which kept the city safe. They were clearly made recently, with finely carved wood and hammered metal. He hadn’t stepped past them since he entered them, and had been in this town ever since. To step outside of them, alone, would be dangerous. It would mean leaving the safety of the whole to search for the danger of the one, but this was important.

 _Caleb_ was important.

He had to find him.

He let his family die. He let Silas die.

He wouldn’t let Caleb walk away. Not after everything they’d been through, and not after it seemed like the blonde cared about him as well. Not after he finally trusted someone again, after all these years.

He couldn’t let it just _end_.

Taking a breath, he reached out for the gate and paused when he saw that it wasn’t completely locked. Clearly someone had been through here recently. He couldn’t be far behind the blonde. The lock looked like it had been replaced from the outside but it wasn’t easy to do, and not done correctly. That wouldn’t matter because it was almost time for the patrol to stop by and take position around the perimeter. They would fix the lock and just assume someone messed up and didn’t close it all the way, or a dog managed to shift it enough to nearly unlock it. It happened sometimes.

He tore the gate open and swung it closed behind him, attempting to relock it even though it would be difficult to get back in if it actually locked. Then again, the patrol would be by soon, and he didn’t plan on coming back without Caleb.

Then he turned away from the gate and started walking into the danger of the unknown.

“Caleb! Dammit, where are you? Caleb!”

Silence echoed around him.

“Caleb! Come on, don’t do this, okay? I… I didn’t mean it! Just come out! Caleb!”

_What if I never find him…_

No. He quickly dismissed that thought, because there was no other alternative. He was going to find the blonde.

“Caleb! _Caleb_ , c’mon!”

“You should turn around, Alec,” came a cool voice, causing Alec to startle and spin around. Behind a patch of small trees appeared Caleb, eyes narrowed as he approached the brunette.

“Caleb,” Alec breathed, “there you are. I’m sorry.”

“Go back, Alec.”

Alec shook his head. “No. I… I’m sorry I overreacted, okay? I don’t know… why I reacted how I did, but… I didn’t mean it, okay? You’re not a monster.”

“Go back.”

“No – not without you.”

For a moment, the blonde watched him. Alec took a step toward him, frowning when the blonde took a step back.

“Caleb… come with me,” he said quietly, watching him. “I’m sorry for how I acted. I just… it’s been hard, okay? I told myself there was no cure… that no one was immune… and then you just spring _that_ on me, and… and I’m _sorry_.”

He convinced himself no one was immune, and that was why everyone he knew and loved had to die. He wanted Silas to be immune, but no one escaped that death. Now it was suddenly possible to live? To be immune? It was a lot to take in at once, and while he wasn’t really angry at Caleb, he did feel anger and hurt at the world in general, for letting Silas die.

But not for letting Caleb live.

He realized this with a jolt, eyes widening somewhat as Caleb watched him carefully. Tentatively, Alec took another step forward, releasing a breath when the blonde didn’t step away this time.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’m so fucking _sorry_ , okay? There’s no excuse for my reaction, and I’m _sorry_. Just… come with me. Okay? Caleb?”

For a moment, the two were surrounded in a heavy silence, simply watching each other. Alec tried to ignore the stiffness to the blonde’s shoulders, tried to ignore those sharp eyes narrowed slightly, and tried to ignore the racing of his own heart. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Caleb said _no_ , if he refused to go with him, refused to accept his apology.

He didn’t blame the blonde, though. Caleb was very understanding when it came to Silas. Alec returned the favor by calling him a monster.

Finally, the blonde slowly shook his head, and something caught in Alec’s throat.

“Caleb, don’t do this,” he said quietly, watching him, unsure of what to do next. “I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re not a monster and… don’t do this.”

_Don’t do this, you bastard. You can’t make me care and then disappear on me. Not after last night. Not after the past two weeks._

He took another step forward, only about two feet away from the blonde now. Caleb watched him and didn’t make a move to pull away. Slowly, Alec closed the distance between them and caught the blonde’s arm in a firm, tight hold, fingers curling into the thin fabric of his shirt. Caleb glanced down at the hand on his arm but didn’t pull away, didn’t frown or anything, just simply watched it.

“You’re scared you might be changing,” Alec said slowly, trying to swallow down that lump in his throat. “I get that. I do. And I’m sorry I… I reacted so horribly, when you were so understanding for me, with… with Silas. I’m sorry. And I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I hope you see reason. I hope you see it’s suicidal to go out there on your own.”

Caleb’s eyes, darker than usual, lacking their usual mirth, slid from his hand and toward his face in a slow arc. “I remember you stating you wanted to be on your own, at one point.”

Alec swallowed thickly. “Yeah. But that was before, and… and I was _wrong_ , okay? I mean… how many times did you save my ass before we actually started traveling together? It’s dangerous out there, and… and you need to stay here.”

 _With me,_ he left unsaid.

Finally there was a crack in the armor that was Caleb’s resolve. That darkness faded a little from his eyes, replaced with a new brightness, but not like the light it usually was. This was a darker light, better than anger and resolve but still not happy… still not back to normal.

 _Fear_.

Caleb was scared.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Caleb said quietly.

“You won’t,” Alec said, his voice just as quiet. “Unless you leave.”

“What’s that mean?”

“You’ll be hurting me,” Alec said, ignoring how cheesy it sounded, because it was the simple truth. After the day he’d had so far, he just needed to be honest. “I don’t know how the hell you did it, but… you got under my skin and made me care about what happens to you, so you can’t just wander off and… and leave.”

“And why not?”

Alec’s other hand landed on the blonde’s shoulder, squeezing. “Because I… I don’t know what to do when you’re gone,” he said simply, surprised himself at the honesty.

He honestly didn’t know what to do when not near the blonde. Normally it was okay because he’d seen the blonde later, and he knew that. But then those ten days came, and he wasn’t sure if Caleb _would_ be coming back – though he’d never admit it aloud – and suddenly he couldn’t fathom what he would have done if Caleb never returned.

He certainly couldn’t fathom what he’d do if Caleb left now.

For a long moment the blonde stared at him, eyes a murky, dark confliction. Alec tightened his hold, sure the blonde would run if given the chance, but Caleb surprised him by actually closing the rest of the distance between them, his own hands coming up to slide around Alec in a tight embrace.

Alec’s arms slid around the blonde in return, crushing the smaller man to him and for the first time since this morning, felt his body finally relax.

 

 

Unfortunately, once they got back to town, Alec didn’t get to see Caleb again until late that night. The rest of the day Caleb spent in town explaining to everyone what had happened – excluding the part where he was spared for unknown reasons due to experimentation years ago – and that everyone died relatively quick deaths and didn’t really suffer. Whether or not that was a lie was yet to be seen, as all Caleb had told him was that prior to the deaths, a few of them had been tortured. Either way, hearing that a loved one went quickly was much better than hearing otherwise.

When the blonde finally entered their shared room, Alec stood from his bed and dropped his book on the table. While there was electricity here, it was used for the important things, and thus the only light they currently had was the candles flickering on the bedside table, although they did brighten the room fairly well.

“How did it go?” he asked, watching as the blonde walked across the room, toward his own bed.

“As well as could be expected,” Caleb sighed, shaking his head as he kicked off his shoes. “I just want to sleep and sleep for days.” A small, almost shy looked was tossed his way. “Is that okay with you?”

“ ‘s fine with me but I don’t think that’s going to happen. You gotta eat sometime,” Alec said, frowning suddenly. “When was the last time you ate?”

Caleb shrugged. “This morning, before you.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Are you hungry? I think Melanie’s still up.”

The blonde shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.”

“I know. And… I’m so-”

Caleb’s head snapped up, sharp eyes focused on him so quickly Alec snapped his mouth shut. “So help me, if you tell me you’re sorry one more time, I’m going to punch you. Do you hear me?”

Alec nodded. “But-”

“No buts. What’s done is done and it’s all in the past. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not.”

“It _is_ ,” Caleb said, narrowing his eyes at him. “And I don’t want to talk about it again. I understand it was a lot to take in and… changing the subject now. How was your day?”

“You mean other than the fact I kept thinking you were going to _run off on me_?”

Green eyes narrowed further.

Alec sighed and shook his head. “It went okay. Fine. Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“Your side, genius. Or did you forget?”

Caleb shrugged. “It’s fine. I heal fast. Perk of… well, you know.”

Alec recalled the cells, when Caleb told him he had a good immune system. Everything seemed to make sense now.

“What are we?” he asked suddenly, startling not only Caleb but himself as well, because he honestly didn’t know where it came from.

“What do you mean?”

“I… I mean, after… after last night,” he said weakly, trying to fight off the way his face burned.

There was a faint pause before the blonde replied. “I don’t know. What do you want us to be?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“We can forget about it, if that’s what you want,” Caleb said quietly, and Alec’s spine went rigid.

“No,” he said quickly, then averted his gaze as his face burned even more. “I mean… no. It happened. Let’s not ignore it.”

_Smooth, Alec._

“You said you liked me,” Caleb murmured, and Alec bit down on his lower lip, barely able to nod. “What did you mean?”

“I… I meant what I said. I like you.”

He found it was getting easier and easier to say it, but he wasn’t sure what that meant. It actually scared him a little.

“I think I have for… for a while now,” he admitted, staring at the ground because it seemed easier that way. “Since… I don’t know. The cells, maybe?”

That was when he felt the connection between them. However, it wasn’t really until after that he actually started to see the blonde in a deeper light. They were not merely cellmates or companions, they were _friends_.

“I didn’t realize until… a little while ago. I was jealous, and… and you were gone for _ten days_ and I didn’t know what to _do_ and-”

“Alec,” the blonde said quietly, causing the brunette to stiffen and look up because that voice was very close to him. The blonde stood next to him, watching him. “You don’t have to explain.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Okay… good. I just… do you…?”

Did Caleb even feel the same? Did he like him like that? He knew what they did last night but honestly that didn’t have to mean anything, did it? Caleb had been upset and wanted to relieve his stress. That was all.

Caleb smiled faintly, and while it didn’t quite reach his eyes, it was genuine and Alec felt himself begin to relax a little. “If I didn’t, last night wouldn’t have happened.”

The brunette nodded even as he released a breathy laugh, the sound cut short only when Caleb stepped closer, into his personal space, and their lips met in a gentle touch.

“We’ll be whatever you want us to be,” the blonde breathed against his mouth, hands combing through his hair.

In response Alec swallowed those lips in another kiss.

 

 

Things changed in the weeks after that.

It wasn’t large changes. They still had jobs to do every day. Alec still practiced shooting and Caleb still tried to help him. On the outside, they were as they had always been. Friends, student and teacher, a helpful hand here and there.

But on the inside, when they were alone, things were inherently different.

They retired to their room earlier and earlier. If Melanie noticed the fact they both ate quickly and then left at the same time, only to reappear the next day, she didn’t say anything. Alec was oddly grateful for this.

In their room, alone at night and the early morning, they shared little intimacies which Alec never realized he wanted until they started happening. It started off simple enough – a light touch here, a kiss there – but escalated into a nightly routine he came to expect, and quietly enjoy.

When they were done eating – as they didn’t always get to eat together, because sometimes they were both busy and free at different times – they retired to their room and shared a brief kiss once the door closed behind them. It was awkward at first, and sloppy, but now it was as though they’d always done this. After this, they spoke about their day. They sat close together on the bed – which bed, it didn’t matter, only that they were in close proximity. Caleb would joke and laugh and Alec would watch his face light up, unable to hold back his own smile.

Things changed further, into desperate kisses in bed, wherein Caleb always pulled away before things got too far. Sometimes Alec thought the blonde just liked to torture him, getting him riled up and then simply untangling himself from the brunette. Alec didn’t ask about it, though. A part of him felt embarrassed every time he thought about bringing it up, and another part feared what Caleb’s response would be.

They touched more than they did before. Caleb always seemed like a more tactile person, prone to touching and hugging and whatnot, but it was different now. More intimate, more gentle, and more receptive.

The kisses became habit, easier with each one, and Alec found himself initiating more and more of them.

While they appeared as they always had outside, inside it was far more intimate, and Alec found he liked their quiet, shared moments at night when no one was listening, when no one knew what was happening. More than once they fell asleep together, however Caleb was always gone when Alec woke up, either in his own bed or gone entirely.

Thus far he hadn’t questioned it.

Things were different.

But things were _better_.

And for the first time in a long time, Alec was _happy_.

But happiness, however, was fragile at best. And when it splintered, it _shattered_.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six: Nothing Gold Can Stay

Chapter Twenty-Six: Nothing Gold Can Stay

 

Fate didn’t like Alec being happy.

Nearly a month after he and Caleb started this new stage in their lives – romance? Relationship? – things took a turn for the worst.

It started off simple, really. Benign in as many ways as it could get. But hindsight, as they said, was twenty-twenty. So clear afterward, but blurry when it happened.

It started out so simple.

 

 

“What was that all about?” Alec asked one night when Caleb arrived late due to a meeting he avoided mentioning to the brunette. Alec found out through Melanie, which he was pissed about in and of itself. Why didn’t Caleb tell him anything?

Caleb closed the door and chewed on his lower lip for a moment, before he sighed and nodded. “We’re going on another supply run tomorrow,” he said quietly, slowly bringing his gaze up to lock eyes with the brunette. “And you can come, if you want. No one will make you.”

Alec nodded. “I’ll go,” he said, because he’d been asking about it before Caleb disappeared for ten days. Things were back to normal now, despite the lives lost, and supplies were still needed. He could try to dissuade Caleb from going, but he knew the blonde would not decline the offer, as he was a medic and felt like it was his job to be there.

And Alec? Well, he wasn’t going to let Caleb run off on his own again.

Not anymore.

And so Caleb nodded, and nothing more was said about it until the next morning.

The next morning found them standing near a horse and buggy, not unlike the one Caleb departed with before his disappearance and the subsequent deaths of the others with him. Six of them were going, including Alec and Caleb, and everyone seemed a lot more cautious this time.

Caleb’s statement that it had been people who kidnapped them and killed the others had thrown the town’s inhabitants for a loop. Alec sometimes forgot that living in a place like this, one tended to forget the harsh reality of the world, all locked up and safe here in this town while the world raged on outside.

It was early, and only three of them were there at the moment. The other three would arrive in the next few minutes, Alec knew. He was a little nervous about going on this supply run because he hadn’t been out of this town since he’d entered, excluding when he chased after the blonde.

A part of him forgot what it was like out there. The danger seemed like a faraway dream when compared to the peacefulness of this town.

He startled when something heavy was shoved into his open palm, hand hanging limply at his side. He looked down and frowned at the pistol now in his grip, before he glanced at Caleb. “What’s this for?” he asked.

“You’re taking that,” Caleb said.

“What about you? The AK?”

The blonde shook his head. “Out of bullets for it and not enough time to make more, not without the supplies, and it wouldn’t be done in time to go. All we have is a few pistols.”

“You have one?”

“Nah, that’s yours.”

Alec held the gun out for him. “I’m horrible with guns. You should have it. I have a knife.”

_Not my knife… but it will do._

Caleb sighed and took the gun.

A few minutes later, the others arrived and they departed as the sun rose over the horizon.

 

Alec wasn’t sure how far they traveled, or how long. All he knew was that it was a cloudy day but the sun beat down on his neck, and they finally stopped the horses outside of what appeared to be a small town. Or, what _used_ to be a small town. Now it was nothing more than broken down buildings and overgrown weeds.

They climbed out of the buggy. Roger, the guy in charge of this supply run, scanned them over with a quick, critical eye before he nodded to himself.

“This supply run is important,” he said. “With the last attempt a failure, and losing our people, we need to get these supplies at all costs.”

Alec hated the reminder of those who died while Caleb lived, and he knew the blonde didn’t appreciate it either, but Caleb remained silent and only nodded.

“We need medicine. Or, at the least, something akin to medicine. We need tools. We need _everything_ , people. This is important and we cannot fail. We _will not_ fail. Is that understood?”

 _Geez,_ Alec thought, _military much?_

But they all nodded and Roger smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I need two teams,” Roger said. “We’ll cover more ground that way.” He stepped forward and waved an arm between Alec and Caleb. “This is the split. Those on the left, go that way. Those on the right, the other way. I will be going right as well. Is that understood?”

A part of Alec’s mind blanked momentarily. Two people stood to his right while Caleb was on the other group with Roger and one other person. He hadn’t actually thought about splitting up – it never crossed his mind that he wouldn’t be working with Caleb.

 _Man up,_ his mind said. _This is what you wanted – to come on a supply run. Deal with it._

He startled when a familiar weight was pushed into his hand, and looked down to find the pistol back in his grip. He shook his head and shoved it back toward Caleb.

Caleb scowled. “You idiot, you need it more than I do.”

“No, I don’t. I’m a horrible shot.”

“You’ve been practicing, and you’re getting better.”

“Caleb, no.”

“I’m not taking it back,” Caleb said. “And that’s final. There’s more people in my group. Just take it.”

Alec took in a slow breath. He knew it was logical that he take the gun, but he didn’t want to. Despite having practiced lately, he was still unfamiliar with firing them. His aim, at best, was shit. Getting better, yes, but still shit. Caleb was great with a gun.

A hand landed on his shoulder. Warm breath tickled his face.

“See you soon, babe,” Caleb whispered, and then the warmth was gone from his side, and he looked up to find the blonde walking away.

He opened his mouth to call after him, then snapped it shut and shook his head.

_See you soon. Be careful._

 

 

_Fuck my life._

Caleb wasn’t sure how he kept getting into these situations, but there he was again, backed into a corner with two zephroes approaching him, snarls emitting from their throats. Even his sharp hearing hadn’t saved him this time. Or maybe he’d been too occupied to truly be paying attention. There was strength – and safety – in numbers, and there were six of them out here right now, so he would admit that his shields had been down.

It would be okay if he had a gun, but he didn’t. He’d given it to Alec, which wasn’t an easy thing to do considering the brunette fought him on the decision, but it was for the best. Caleb was in the bigger group, Alec in the smaller which consisted only of himself and one other person, while there were three people in Caleb’s group, including himself. It only made sense to give Alec a way of defending himself other than a borrowed knife.

He wouldn’t say he regretted the decision – if it kept Alec safe, then that was all that mattered – but there was a part of him that itched to pull the trigger. The knife held firm in his grasp would only do so much. Knives weren’t exactly his specialty – he didn’t like getting up close and personal with the mutations. It was a lot safer shooting at them from a reasonable distance.

As it was, though, all he had was a knife and two angry zephroes stalking toward him.

_What happened to not attacking me? To surrounding me? Huh? Gonna hunt me again?_

_Alright… bring it on. Do it!_

Almost as though they’d heard him, they both leapt toward him at the same time, jaws opening wide to devour him or poison him, and he snarled and brought his blade up, ready and willing to slice through their flesh.

The attack never came, though, and he was all but thrown to the side as something barreled into the two zephroes, the momentum not only tossing them to the side, but also sending Caleb crashing to the floor. He jumped to his feet and found himself staring into angry, burning golden yellow eyes.

Larger and bulkier than the two zephroes on the ground, it stood a good foot taller than them, front two canines too long to stay in its mouth, as they poked out of its black lips, showing teeth discolored with blood. Large, pointed ears clung to the sides of its head. Unlike the two zephroes on the ground, the skin was not just simply ashen, but completely black, a walking shadow of death and destruction. When it released a low growl, the blonde felt the vibrations – low, angry, hungry – slam into him, leaving him gasping as he took a step back, staring at the mutation before him.

It had been a long time since he’d run into a neutrohale, but he’d recognize them anywhere.

The two zephroes stood and lunged at the neutrohale, thankfully tearing its attention away from Caleb. With a snarl the neutrohale swiped at the zephroes with its large, jagged claws which curved into a hook, easily sliding into its victim but not so easily removed. The claws sliced across the zephroes’ faces, leaving them howling as they stepped back, snarling at the neutrohale.

Just because they were both mutations didn’t mean they got along.

Caleb turned on his heel and ran.

He didn’t make it far, as the mutations seemed to get over their differences to hunt down a common enemy.

 _Him_.

Claws scratched at the back of his legs and he went staggering forward, collapsing to the ground. The knife went clattering a few feet away. He rolled over and sat up, scooting backward as the three mutations lunged at him. The neutrohale shoved both of the zephroes out of the way and tackled Caleb flat into the ground, the weight and force of it knocking the breath from the blonde’s lungs.

Jaws opened wide and darted toward his throat. He snapped his eyes closed, knowing there was nothing he could do… he was out of options.

Out of time.

“ _Caleb!_ ”

A gun fired once, twice, three times and the neutrohale jerked away from him, lunging in a new direction. Caleb opened his eyes and rolled, looking in the direction the voice came from, the direction the neutrohale was currently going.

“Alec!”

There the brunette stood, atop a hill looking down at him, gun raised and aimed. Harsh determination painted Alec’s face as he fired off another shot.

“Alec – _run_!”

Unphased, the neutrohale continued toward the brunette.

He had to stop it – had to protect him, had to-

Caleb jumped to his feet only to be tackled by the two zephroes. Claws sliced savagely into his sides, chest, shoulders, stomach…

_Slice._

Dark spots flashed before his eyes, pain searing through him. A haze settled over his mind, everything growing foggy. Strength fled him quickly, even as he struggled to shove the mutations off him, struggled to stop this from happening.

When jaws unhinged and came at him, he didn’t even have the strength to cry out or squirm.

He just hoped it would be quick.

Multiple guns fired around him and blood sprayed in the air, discolored and inhuman. The zephroes collapsed to the ground on either side of him, and suddenly there were hands on his chest, pressing, holding, _hurting_ …

Voices sounded around him, muffled through the thick fog in his head, and he dazedly noticed the face hovering over him, calling to him. His vision refused to focus all the way but he knew it was Alec. Gunshots still sounded around them as the brunette knelt next to Caleb, hands pressing, holding, _hurting_ …

“-leb!”

Alec’s voice was frantic. Caleb hadn’t seen him like this since he thought he’d been bitten by a zephro, and seemingly lay dying. His dark hazel eyes were wide as he stared down at him, Caleb sluggishly blinking back at him.

A hand freed itself from his chest and clawed at Caleb’s shoulder hard enough to leave bruises, but the initial pain was barely noticeable compared to the searing pain of the wounds, the way his blood raced like fire through his veins, his heart the gasoline continuously pumping, eating, igniting the pain…

_Stop. Stop, stop, stop._

But the pain wasn’t stopping.

And it was getting hard to breathe.

 

 

_No, no, no, don’t do this. Don’t do this._

There never should have been this much blood surrounding Caleb when it all should have been safely, firmly locked in his veins. This wasn’t right! It was all so very _wrong_ and all Alec could do was try to staunch the flow of blood until help could arrive. Everyone right now, besides him, was busy trying to mess with the neutrohale. It had been a long time since Alec saw one, and a small part of him had hoped they simply didn’t exist anymore, died out years ago.

That was not the case, and of all times for it to show up, it had to be going after Caleb. Caleb, who didn’t have a gun because he stupidly gave it to Alec, and Alec stupidly agreed to take it, in the end. Caleb, who lay gasping on the ground, seemingly oblivious to Alec’s presence.

“Caleb!” Alec called, shaking his shoulder. “Caleb, can you hear me?”

_Hear me. C’mon. Say something._

The blonde blinked but after a short pause, he nodded his head and Alec forced a smile, heart racing in his chest.

“Stay with me, okay? Help’s coming. You gotta stay with me. Help’s coming.”

At least, he hoped it was.

_If they don’t get killed by the neutrohale…_

But he couldn’t think about that right now. Caleb needed him and he needed him to be focused, not sidetracked with negative thoughts about imminent death.

_No. Stop. Dammit, no. Don’t do this._

The blonde was far too pale, even though the wounds hadn’t been made long ago. Minutes at most, was how long it had taken for the blonde to get like this, with his lips tinged blue, face colored only with the sickly flush to his cheeks and the way the sweat dotted his brow.

An image of Silas appeared in his mind, unbidden. He quickly tossed the thought aside and took in a slow breath.

The blonde was too quiet.

“Caleb?”

“Caleb! C’mon, dammit, stay with me! You don’t get to sleep, dammit! Caleb!”

“…mm?”

“Dammit, open your eyes.”

_Open your eyes. Now, now, now. Stay with me._

“T… Tired,” the blonde pushed out.

Alec swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing harshly. “I know you are,” he said quietly, “but you can’t sleep, okay? Caleb? Cal, open your eyes, c’mon.”

“Think ‘m… jus’ gonna… s-sleep n-now…”

“No, you can’t – Caleb, don’t you dare! Open your eyes!”

But now the blonde was quiet and still, eyelids not even twitching. An unnatural silence surrounded them, even with the gunshots still firing a little ways off. With a cry Alec stabbed two fingers into Caleb’s neck, feeling sick when he felt nothing.

_No, dammit, don’t do this to me, you bastard. C’mon! Don’t you fucking do this to me!_

Nothing, until finally…

 _There_.

The pulse was weak and thready, barely pushing against his fingers, but it was _there_ , dammit. Caleb was still alive, just unconscious and bleeding out, and Alec didn’t know what to do.

“What do I do, Caleb? Huh? What am I supposed to _do_?”

The blonde remained silent, as Alec knew he would, but a part of him had been hopelessly hoping for some kind of response.

“Stay with me,” he murmured, a mantra he couldn’t stop, “stay with me, stay with me, don’t do this, stay with me…”

He stared down at his hands, slick with the blonde’s blood. Bile rose in his throat but he swallowed it down, fighting back that burning in his eyes.

A growl sounded, nearby. Choking back a breath, he looked up to find a zephro eying the two of them, edging ever closer. Alec’s slick, numb fingers scrambled for the pistol left forgotten at his side, dropped carelessly when he crashed to his knees next to the blonde. Finally they found purchase as the zephro lunged forward.

The shot which fired from the chamber missed its mark and Alec fired again. The bullet clipped the zephro’s shoulder and the mutation snarled, eyes latching onto Alec instead of Caleb’s wounded form.

A second later, Alec crashed to the ground next to the blonde, the wind knocked out of him, pain echoing through him though he wasn’t sure why.

And then the zephro was hovering over Caleb.

Fingers clawed at the dirt ground, struggling for purchase.

_No. No, get away from him. Get away! Caleb!_

His vision blurred, either from the realization he couldn’t help Caleb or the pain echoing through him, he wasn’t sure which. All he knew was that darkness began to seep into his vision, distorting his view.

Jaws opened wide, above the blonde.

Fingers, forever clawing, never helping.

“C-aleb,” he breathed.

Alec didn’t save him. _Couldn’t_ save him.

But what _did_ save him was the damn neutrohale.

It slammed into the zephro with a snarl, and the two mutations began fighting, as they had been earlier, when he noticed how Caleb was in danger – and the terror that gripped him then was something he never wanted to experience again, although he felt it in spades now.

It was a struggle, but he managed to shift enough that his fingers lightly brushed against Caleb’s arm. The skin was cold.

His mind blanked.

“C-aleb?”

Silence. Vision blurred, he couldn’t see the blonde closely enough to see if he was breathing. Although, he could feel the sticky blood beneath him, coating him as well as the blonde. It was hard to tell where his blood began and where the blonde’s ended.

“Cal? P-lease…”

A second later a body dropped on Caleb’s other side. The zephro, Alec realized through his failing vision.

And then the neutrohale bent over Caleb.

And then everything faded to dark.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Two: Spear

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Spear

 

_Flashes of pain. Of teeth, sharp and lethal. Of claws, quick and deadly._

_Of a brunette’s face, frantic above him._

_Of dark oblivion, inviting and blank._

Green eyes snapped open and Caleb sat up with a gasp, only to cringe and collapse back down with a low groan, arms encircling his stomach as he curled in on himself, squeezing his eyes tightly closed. He shivered from the cold sweat drenching him, waited for the pain to pass, and then pried his eyes open once more, taking in the vast darkness surrounding him.

None of the darkness was familiar. Neither was the smell, the stale scent covering the air, nor was the sound. It was quiet, eerily so.

He looked up at the ceiling, covered in darkness. Cobwebs aligned the corners where the walls and ceiling met. Crickets chirped from somewhere outside, loud yet distant. His fingers clawed into the cement ground beneath him as he sat up once again, slowly this time. Pain stabbed through him and he gasped, wrapping his arms around himself once more.

“I would be more careful if I were you,” said a voice, and footsteps echoed toward him.

Caleb glanced up to find himself looking into the face of a ghost.

Another gasp escaped him and this time when he moved, it was to scramble back and away from the guy. “No. You’re dead. You’re not here,” he said quietly, eyes wide as he stared, heart hammering wildly in his chest, adding to the pain coursing through him.

The ghost tilted his head to the side, causing black bangs to swish into the pale face. Freckles dotted the ridge of his nose, and his own sea green eyes seemed to glow with amusement. The ghost took a step toward him and Caleb backed up a little more, only for his back to connect with a cement wall.

“Is that any way to treat an old friend?” the guy asked with a small grin. “Really, Caleb, I thought we were closer than that.”

“I’m dreaming. I’m dead.”

“No, you’re not, though you gave it your best shot,” the guy said with a small laugh as a hand ran through the disheveled black locks. “Wasn’t sure I’d be able to patch you back up this time, Humpty.”

The knot in Caleb’s stomach loosened somewhat. “You’re alive?”

“Of course I’m alive! Jeez, kid, I’m not as fragile as you.”

A small smirk graced the blonde’s lips. “I watched you die.”

The guy’s expression softened. “I know what you think you saw, but I’m fine. I promise.”

With a swallow, Caleb managed to push himself up the wall and to his feet. The guy took a step forward, holding a hand out carefully.

“Hey, take it easy, Humpty,” the guy said, “I can only fix you so much, Patchwork.”

“What happened?”

“Damned if I know. I follow the sound of gunfire and find you on the ground, dead to the world, with a neutrohale about to take a bit out of you. Wasn’t a pleasant sight, kid.”

“Sorry.”

Everything slowly began to return to him. The supply run, the separation, the zephroes, the neutrohale… _Alec_ …

Green eyes flew open wide. “Alec,” he breathed, looking at the guy. “Where’s Alec? Tell me he’s okay.”

The guy grinned. “Your friend is fine, I assure you. He’s actually asleep right now. Back there.”

Caleb followed the guy’s finger and saw Alec laying on the ground across the room, hidden in the shadows. Bandages hid his wounds and he looked rather pale. Quickly, the blonde moved to the brunette’s side and knelt next to him, wincing as he did so.

“Take it easy, Cal,” the guy said.

Caleb grunted in acknowledgement and focused his attention on Alec, because that was what was important right now. His hand landed softly on the brunette’s bare shoulder, and he stared down at the bandages encasing Alec’s abdomen. Anger stirred within him, because Alec never should have been hurt, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

“He was much better than yourself,” the ghost from his past said, and a hand landed on his own shoulder.

The weight was heavy, but warm and familiar.

“Thanks, Nick.”

“It’s Spear now,” the guy said quietly.

“Spear?” Caleb echoed, glancing up at him.

Spear shrugged. “Not my idea. But it stuck. I find it’s easier to like myself when I’m Spear, more than it is when I’m Nick.” The hand moved from his shoulder to his hair, ruffling the already disheveled strands. “You’ve gotten big, buddy.”

“I’m an adult now.”

“I see that.”

“I thought you were dead,” Caleb said quietly, keeping his gaze firmly locked on the brunette laying still on the ground.

“You’d be surprised how often I get that.”

“How?”

“It’s a long story. I might tell you some day. Right now, how about we go into the other room and let this poor guy sleep? I have some questions myself.”

Caleb found himself nodding, and soon he pushed away from the brunette and got to his feet. With a sigh he turned and followed the black-haired man out of the room.

 

Alec woke with a groan, his head throbbing incessantly as he pried heavy eyelids open. The room he was in was dark and barely lit, the ground beneath him cold and hard. Slowly, he brought a hand up and rubbed it against his aching head, before he managed to push himself into a sitting position.

He looked down at the bandages adorning his midsection, and chewed on his lower lip, feeling overly confused as to what happened. The last thing he remembered was… he wasn’t sure. Something about panic and pain. Growls. Then darkness.

Perhaps he should ask Caleb. The blonde always remembered more than himself.

His eyes flew open wide.

And then he remembered with startling clarity the blood which spilled from the blonde and coated the ground beneath him, the way he stabbed his fingers into Caleb’s neck searching for that thrum of life. He looked around but found himself alone in unfamiliar settings, bandaged and alive but confused as hell.

“Caleb?” he whispered, voice rough with misuse. He coughed and cleared his throat, trying again. “Caleb? Cal?”

There was no response save for the empty stillness of the room. With a low growl, he forced himself to his feet, eying the stairs which lead up toward a doorway. Everything ached and his legs felt somewhat numb, but he managed to climb the stairs easily enough.

He pushed open the door and then staggered back when he came face to face with someone he didn’t recognize.

Long dark brown hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, sharp brown eyes locked onto him as the two stood staring at each other. With a growl, Alec surged forward, grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt and ramming him backward into the wall, ignoring the thrum of pain which echoed through him.

“Where is he?” he snapped, glaring at the startled brown eyes. “Where the fuck is he? Huh?”

“Let go,” the guy said.

“Where is he!” Alec growled again, fingers tightening in the thin fabric. “Is he even alive!”

_What if he’s dead? He was hurt pretty bad… Oh God. What if he’s gone?_

Ice slid down his spine, causing the brunette to stiffen and shiver all at once. The guy in his grasp shoved him away, prodding the tender flesh of his midsection, and Alec groaned and released the guy to instead wrap his arms around himself.

“Where is he?” he asked again, voice quiet this time.

“He who?” the guy asked.

“Don’t play dumb.”

“Look, kid, we found a few of you guys out there. Two survived, and you’re one of them. You’re going to have to be more specific, because I’m tired and I don’t have to put up with this shit,” the guy said, irritation igniting across his pale face.

Alec swallowed thickly. “Everyone’s… dead?”

He thought about the others they traveled with, people he barely knew. But ultimately, in the end, his thoughts kept returning to one person.

“Caleb,” he managed to whisper. “His name is Caleb. He was… next to me.”

He remembered now, where the blonde was when he finally blacked out. Caleb was right next to him, with a neutrohale leaning over him, and-

Bile rose in his throat and he dropped to his knees, vomiting all over the semi-dusty floor. A hand landed on his shoulder, but the weight was wrong, the touch was wrong, and the voice which spoke to him was _wrong_.

“Take it easy,” the guy said. “You’re still recovering, after all. You should be fine, though, if you take it easy.”

“Caleb,” Alec said, wiping the thin trails of vomit away from his face. “Where’s Caleb? Tell me he’s alive.”

He wasn’t sure what he’d do if the blonde was dead. Honestly, he couldn’t think about it. It refused to register in his mind, and thus it could never become a reality.

“Nixa,” the guy called.

Footsteps approached. Stopped next to him.

“Yes?” asked a female voice, and Alec looked up to find a young woman standing there, looking down at him with pale blue eyes. Long, silky blonde hair drifted down the sides of her face, encircling the pale edges.

“Do you know where Spear is?” the guy asked.

“Outside with his friend,” the girl, Nixa, replied with a small shrug. “I didn’t know he knew the guy.”

“Neither did I,” the other guy muttered, and the tone of his voice left Alec frowning.

“Just tell me where Caleb is,” Alec said, catching their attention. With a swallow, he began to push himself back to his feet, but the hand on his shoulder shoved downward, keeping him from doing so. “I need to find him. He… Don’t tell me he’s dead.”

_Don’t be dead, you bastard. Not after everything we’ve been through. Okay? Just don’t be dead._

“I don’t know who Caleb is,” the girl said with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. Wait there for a second and I will get Spear and your friend.”

 _My friend_?

Who?

Who survived other than him?

Was it Caleb?

_No. She doesn’t know who Caleb is. If… if he lived and was awake like they’re saying… they would have known his name…_

That knot in his stomach doubled and tightened and suddenly he was puking again, and his vision blurred. Dark spots invaded the corners of his eyes, pain echoed through his head, and all he could see when he closed his eyes was Caleb’s still form on the ground, surrounded in red blood which should have been safely, firmly locked in his veins…

The world spun around him. He heard voices, perhaps calling out to him. Unable to focus his vision, he only knew when he was put down on something warm and soft due to the sensation of it pressing against his back.

A hand landed on his shoulder.

 _Right_.

“Caleb,” he whispered quietly, struggling to focus his vision. He could barely make out a blur of strawberry blonde hair hovering over him.

“Hey, babe,” came Caleb’s smooth, calm voice. “Take it easy, okay? You did an excellent impression of a human pincushion and you’re going to be pretty sore for a while.”

The hand began to move away, and thought dispersed momentarily as his own hand latched out and caught hold of a warm wrist.

“Don’t go,” he said because he could stop himself, but he didn’t have time to feel ashamed because his vision blurred and bile rose in his throat, and he finally managed to swallow it back down.

“I’m not going anywhere, babe,” Caleb said. A hand threaded through his hair, combing through disheveled, tangled locks, and the pain echoing through him dispersed somewhat. His vision cleared and Caleb smiled down at him. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“You’re okay,” Alec breathed, staring at him.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“You… you were… you were dying,” he said softly.

“Probably,” Caleb agreed with a small shrug. “Thankfully I’m a lucky, stubborn bastard and we’re both okay.”

“…How?”

Hesitation crossed the blonde’s face, before green eyes softened. “We’ll talk about it later. Right now, you should rest.”

“What… about you? Are you… okay?”

_Not dying?_

“I’m fine,” Caleb said. “All patched up. Just sore, is all. You, on the other hand, got an infection because your immune system is shit. So, you need to rest.”

A pause.

Fingers continued to comb through his hair – soft, gentle, comforting.

“Stay with me?” Alec asked, feeling his eyelids droop.

Caleb smiled softly. “I won’t go anywhere,” he replied quietly. “Sleep now, Alec.”

With a small sigh, the brunette’s eyes slid closed, and he slipped into a dreamless slumber.

 

The next time Alec awoke, it was to fingers combing through his hair, and a warm voice humming quietly above him. He pried his eyes open to find Caleb sitting there, with Alec’s head in his lap, eyes closed as he quietly hummed to himself, fingers ghosting over the brunette’s scalp, combing through the disheveled locks.

For a moment, Alec stared up at him, taking in the peaceful, serene look on the blonde’s face, and the way he seemed completely at ease. Caleb was also _alive_ , which Alec was still having a hard time believing, despite the fact he was happy. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if the blonde _died_ on him. Honestly, he didn’t want to think about it. _Ever_.

So instead he merely watched as Caleb hummed.

Finally green eyes blinked open and a grin split across the blonde’s face. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Alec replied, voice just as quiet. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Caleb said. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“That’s good. Had me worried there for a minute, you know.”

Alec sighed and nodded, before he chewed on his lower lip and averted his gaze. “Same goes for you, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“You fucking scared the shit out of me. Don’t do that again.”

“I’ll try not to,” Caleb said, and Alec glanced back at him.

“Promise?”

It was childish, and stupid, but once the word left his mouth, he couldn’t take it back.

Caleb smiled faintly. “I promise.”

Alec nodded and looked back up at the ceiling. “Where are we?”

“I don’t really know. Some house.”

“Who are those people?”

“Spear, Nixa, and Fix,” Caleb replied.

“What?”

“I don’t know. They changed their names.”

“Why?” Alec asked, frowning, because it didn’t make any sense. “Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know. Anyway, they’re pretty great. I knew Spear when I was… well. Let’s just say I knew him before.” The blonde shrugged, but there was a stiffness to his features which left Alec’s frown deepening.

“They saved us?”

“Yeah,” Caleb said with a nod. “They were just passing through, looking for supplies and a place to stay for a while. Way I hear it, they got there just in time, but… well, we’re the only ones who made it.”

Alec nodded slowly. “I know.”

“Anyway… will you be okay on your own for a minute? I’m supposed to tell Spear when you wake up.”

Alec sighed and nodded again. “Careful,” he muttered as Caleb slid away from him.

Caleb flashed him a grin. “Of what? Splinters from the old wood? I’ll be right back.”

And then the blonde was gone, and Alec stared up at the ceiling. A moment later footsteps returned, and he glanced over to find Caleb leading in a slightly taller black-haired man. Green eyes – but not the bright, distinctive color of Caleb’s – settled on him, and a grin spread across the pale freckled face.

“You must be Alec,” the guy said cheerily. “It’s nice to meet you! You know, when you’re not trying to die on me.”

Caleb nudged him in the ribs and the guy scowled, tossing him a quick glare. Caleb shrugged and smiled as he approached Alec and sat next to him on an old couch.

“I’m Spear,” the guy said. “And you met Fix and Nixa earlier. We mean you no harm – we were simply passing through. How are you feeling? I trust Caleb’s been taking good care of you.”

Alec smiled faintly. “I’m fine.”

“Ah, yes, Caleb is a good nurse,” Spear said with a smirk.

Caleb tossed him another glare. “Keep talking,” he said, “see if I patch you up next time.”

“Like you’d be patching me up, Humpty,” Spear said in return. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty awesome and indestructible.”

Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled at Alec. “Don’t listen to him, he’s pretty full of himself. Anyway, you sure you feel okay?”

“I’m okay,” Alec said with a nod, because he really did feel much better. He pushed himself into a sitting position, looking at the blonde. “How are you?”

“Like I said, I’m good,” Caleb said with a smirk. “Heal pretty fast, you know.”

Alec nodded even as he tossed a quick glance toward Spear, wondering why Caleb was mentioning things like that in the presence of others. He seemed uncomfortable enough telling Alec about it, after all.

Caleb shrugged. “Don’t worry, Spear knows.”

“Huh?”

“Oh yeah, I know all about Humpty’s little healing abilities, ain’t that right, Patchwork?” Spear asked, tossing a grin toward Caleb.

Caleb sighed. “You know, I think it was easier when I didn’t know you were here.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t miss me, Cal.”

Alec frowned. “How do you two know each other?”

“Long story,” Spear said, shaking his head. “Don’t have time for it right now. As it is – are you hungry? Fix just got back.”

As if on cue, a door opened from another room and footsteps echoed toward them. The guy from before, Fix, stepped into view, scowling until he looked at Spear. “I’m back,” he said.

Spear just nodded.

“Fish?” Caleb asked.

Fix nodded.

Caleb grinned at Alec. “Let’s eat,” he said cheerily, and Alec couldn’t help but smile.

He still had a lot of questions – who were these people, what did it mean when Caleb said Spear knew, and where were they – but that could wait until later.

Right now, he was just happy he and Caleb were alive, and everything else could wait.


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight: Others

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Others

 

The night air was cool and soothing, refreshing against Alec’s skin as he sat on the porch steps, looking up at the stars. Crickets chirped nearby, and that sound allowed him to relax. There was no danger when the crickets were chirping. The tightness which had been locking up his muscles all day dispersed somewhat, and he felt like he could breathe.

Caleb was asleep inside, in the living room, on the couch. The blonde looked exhausted, but that crease in his brown which had been there all day finally disappeared when his eyes closed. Alec stayed with him for about an hour before he sighed and went outside. He wasn’t sure what made him do this, but he just felt like getting some fresh air.

In the town they’d been staying in, he could go outside whenever he wanted. He’d go out for an evening stroll, or just sit outside and listen to the crickets and sounds of _life_. Here, though, there was no that kind of safety. The only way he knew it was okay was due to the crickets chirping happily, not a care in the world. He would go back inside in a moment, but right now he just wanted to look up at the stars, breathe, and be thankful he was alive.

It had been close.

For both of them.

It wasn’t his first brush with death, and he knew it wasn’t Caleb’s either, but he couldn’t help feeling relieved, like they’d dodged a bullet. It had been _close_. For a moment, he’d been sure Caleb was _dead_ , and that was unacceptable. The blonde couldn’t die any more than he himself could die. The very idea was ridiculous.

But they were both alive, and that was what mattered.

They were the only two to live, though. According to the others, the other people in their group had been killed before Spear and the other two arrived. Alec honestly wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It wasn’t like he knew the others personally, but he still hated that they died. But more than that, he felt selfish, because all he could think about was how grateful he was that it wasn’t _Caleb_ who died. And that was fucked up, because the others’ lives were just as important, right?

Except, to him, it didn’t matter. Caleb was alive and they were dead, and he was a horrible person because he actually _preferred_ it that way.

Movement behind him startled him, and he tensed even as he twisted around, reaching for the knife attached to his belt. Spear stood behind him, holding his hands out defensively, offering a faint smile.

“Easy there, buddy,” Spear said. “It’s just me.”

Alec sighed and released his hold on the knife’s handle, twisting back around to look out at the stars. “What do you want?”

“Just checking on you,” Spear said. “What are you doing out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah… I understand that.”

The guy sat heavily next to him, looking up at the sky as well.

“Find the Big Dipper?” Spear asked.

Alec blinked. “Um… wasn’t really looking,” he admitted.

“That’s fine. There it is,” Spear said, pointing. “And there’s the Little Dipper. I used to love astronomy. Had all the books on it, you know?”

Alec nodded slowly. “Yeah, I used to like it too.”

Him, Silas and his dad used to always sit outside on weekends, grill hotdogs and look through his telescope at the stars. Without warning, the scent of those hotdogs slammed into him, and tears pricked at his eyes. He quickly snapped them closed, bowing his head, because he would _not_ cry.

His dad was dead. Silas was dead. Everyone was _dead_ and crying wouldn’t bring them back. He learned that a long time ago.

There was no point in crying.

He took in a slow breath. It took him a moment to realize Spear was talking to him, and he pried his eyes open to toss a look toward the raven-haired guy. “What?”

Spear smiled softly. “Caleb,” he said. “You’re close to him?”

Alec swallowed.

_Close?_

Memories of their first kiss entered his mind. The way he punched the blonde. The way he snapped at him, the way he worried when Caleb was gone for _ten days_ , what happened when the blonde came back…

“Yeah,” he whispered softly, “you could say that.”

Spear nodded. “I’m glad. He needs someone, you know?”

“What do you know about him? How do you know him?” Alec asked.

Spear shrugged. “It’s a bit of a long story.” A pause. “What do you know about his past?”

Alec swallowed. “That depends… what do you know?” He wasn’t about to go breaking Caleb’s trust by telling the guy about Caleb’s past, after all. Either Spear knew about it or he didn’t.

“I take it you know, then.”

“Know what?”

“About his dad,” Spear said quietly. “His sickness. What happened.”

Alec closed his eyes and nodded. “Yes. I know.”

“Good. I’m glad he finally told someone.”

“How do you know?” Alec asked, because he knew it was hard enough for Caleb to tell _him_ , and that was after all they’d been through together. He wasn’t sure why but a stab of _something_ jolted through him at the thought that this guy knew about his past as well.

“I was there,” Spear said quietly. Alec felt eyes on him and glanced over to find the raven watching him. “Take from that what you will.”

With that, the raven got to his feet, smiled at him, and disappeared back inside. The door closed quietly in his wake.

            For a moment, Alec stared after him, before he sighed and returned his gaze back toward the stars. He had no idea what to think about Spear’s words, but then again, his mind was a little too exhausted to think about it very much.

            About ten minutes later, he stood and walked back inside, joining Caleb in the living room. He wasn’t sure where the others were, nor did he really care.

            The couch was big enough for two if Caleb moved over. Smiling somewhat, Alec lightly nudged the blonde’s shoulder. Almost as though he were awake and knew what Alec wanted, the blonde grumbled something and rolled over, more against the back of the couch now.

            With a sigh, Alec lay down next to the blonde, on the outside of the couch, and closed his eyes.

 

The smell of food woke Alec. He sat up with a yawn, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and looked around to find himself alone. He stood and moved in the direction of the smell, and found the kitchen table set with wooden plates. A smile twitched to life on his lips when he saw Caleb putting down yet another plate, this one complete with a grilled fish.

            The blonde smiled when he noticed him. “Hey,” he said, and Alec couldn’t help but grin back.

            “Hey,” he said in return. “Smells good.”

            “Eat up,” Caleb said, gesturing at the table. Alec took a seat and began to eat his food, while Caleb put down one more plate and sat next to him. A moment later, the others entered the room, in a heated discussion about the merits of bacon, and joined them at the table.

            “Cal, we need a tie breaker,” Spear said with a smirk, stabbing at the fish on his plate. “Bacon was the best, right? Just say yes.”

            Caleb shrugged. “It was pretty good, but didn’t hold a candle to steak.”

            Nixa grinned, flashing him a row of white perfect, although somewhat stained teeth. It was hard to find toothpaste these days. Hygiene suffered, but looks didn’t matter when it came to survival. “Steak was the best.”

            Alec found himself smirking. “I miss ice cream.”

            Caleb grinned at him. “Blue Moon, man. The best thing ever.”

            “Pfft, what are you talking about? Chocolate was the best,” Nixa said.

            “You’re both wrong,” Spear said. “Chocolate chip ice cream was the best.”

            Alec shook his head but found himself actually enjoying the meal. He didn’t really know these people but they seemed harmless enough, and Caleb was comfortable around them. They’d been through enough that he knew to trust the blonde’s judgment. After all, these people did save them, and for that Alec was grateful.

            The meal finished soon enough, and Nixa collected their plates and took them outside. Alec frowned after her, wondering what she was going to do with them, but then decided he didn’t really care. He glanced at Caleb and caught the blonde’s eye as Fix followed Nixa outside.

            “What do we do now?” he asked.

            Caleb hesitated. “We should probably head back to town soon,” he said quietly. “At least explain to them what happened, you know? They deserve to know why their loved ones aren’t coming home…”

            Alec nodded slowly.

            “You can come too,” Caleb said, looking at Spear. “I’m sure it would be okay. You did save us, after all. I’m sure they could put you to work. They’ll need more people after… after the others died.”

            Spear frowned, seemingly thinking about it, before he shrugged. “I don’t know if I can do that, but I might try for a few days.”

            “What do you mean?” Alec asked.

            Spear tossed him a faint smirk. “I have my own people to attend to,” he said. “I can’t just abandon them. We’ve already been gone longer than we planned.”

            “People?”

            “Spear’s the leader of a group,” Caleb explained, shrugging. “Kind of like our town, just… somewhere else.”

            Alec blinked. “You mean there’s other places like that? There’s… more people out there? Good people?”

            “Hard to believe, I know,” Spear said with a shrug, “but yes, there’s other good people out there. Not everyone is evil. Our group’s pretty large. It’s just gotten harder and harder to find supplies close to home, so we had to expand our search. We’ve already been gone for a little over a week… we should really start heading back soon.”

            Alec nodded – that made sense.

            “Well, if you want to come to our town… just let me know,” Caleb said quietly.

            “Will do, Humpty.”

            The blonde scowled. “Would you stop calling me that?”

            “Sorry, Humpty, but had to put you back together again.”

            “If I recall correctly, I’ve fixed you up a hell of a lot more than you’ve fixed me up,” Caleb said with a smirk, a quick quirk of his lips. “So technically, that makes _you_ Humpty.”

            “I’m too awesome to Humpty,” Spear said as he pushed his chair back and got to his feet, stretching. “Anyway, I better go see what they’re up to. We can escort you guys to town later, if you want.”

            Caleb shrugged and nodded, waving him out, and Spear took his leave while the blonde focused again on the brunette. “How are you feeling?”

            “I’m great,” Alec said, and was actually a little surprised to find that it was the truth. He actually felt fine. “You? I know you were hurt more than I was.”

            He still remembered the blood, and the stillness.

            “I’m fine. Fast healing and all that jazz.”

            Alec frowned, nodding slowly. “Spear said… he was there,” he said quietly, recalling the raven’s words from the night before. “Was… is… I’m confused.”

            “Yes,” Caleb said.

            Alec blinked at him. “Huh?”

            “The answer to your question – it’s yes.”

            “What question?”

            “You were going to ask if he was like me. The answer is yes.”

            The brunette’s eyes widened. “He’s… you mean he’s…”

            “He was experimented on just like me,” Caleb said quietly, watching him with this narrow-eyed look on his face. “He lived through it just like me. We are in the same boat, pretty much. He was there when… when I woke up. We escaped together.”

            Alec swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Oh,” he said quietly, before he frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me there were others?”

            “When was I supposed to do that?” Caleb asked tiredly. “Before or after you called me a monster?”

            Alec winced. “I’m sor-”

            “Sorry, I know,” Caleb cut in, shaking his head. “I forgive you, it’s fine. Whatever. But the point is, I didn’t tell you because it was already enough for you to hear that about _me_ , let alone… to think that others were immune as well.”

            And suddenly that was all Alec could think about.

            The fact that it was _possible_ to be immune. The fact it happened not only _once_ but several times. To potentially several different people. If it happened to Caleb and Spear, it could have happened to a variety of other people as well.

            And none of those people were his family, or Silas.

            While it was possible for people to be immune, those close to him weren’t so lucky, and it wasn’t fucking _fair_.

            He wasn’t away he was shaking until a hand landed on his shoulder, steadying him. He took in a breath and looked up to find Caleb standing next to him, green eyes soft as he smiled faintly.

            “Sorry, babe,” he said quietly, and leaned over to give him a chaste kiss on the forehead, before he turned and released the brunette, exiting the room.

            Alec swallowed and stared after him, but made no move to follow.

 

_Spear and Caleb aren’t human._

            The thought kept echoing through his mind, and while he felt guilty for thinking it, it wrapped around him nevertheless. It was the truth, after all. They were human, and yet they were not, because they had the genes which created the mutations, but they were immune to it somehow. They were the experiments gone _right_ , what _should have_ happened.

            And yet they weren’t human, because humans…

            _Don’t heal that fast._

_Aren’t immune to bites._

_Die…_

            A knot churned in his stomach.

            Caleb didn’t die, so he was saying he wasn’t human? Where was the logic in that? Simple – there was no logic.

            He wasn’t sure why he was angry. He wasn’t sure why he felt betrayed. But he was, and he did. Caleb didn’t tell him there were others who were immune as well. He never even mentioned the possibility.

            Then again, Alec hadn’t let him. As soon as Caleb told him he had been one of the experiments, but one which turned out _right_ , he’d snapped at the blonde, accused him and growled at him, and he hadn’t given Caleb a chance to even tell him there were others. He couldn’t blame the blonde for not telling him.

            That did little to abate his anger, though.

            _Why? Why is it that people are immune… and yet my family died. And Silas… I had to kill Silas because he was bitten and there’s no cure!_

            And somehow, it was easier when he believed no one was immune. When he believed there was no way to stop it. Because he had been resigned to the fate, knew there was no other alternative, and accepted it. Now, though, he knew otherwise. It was possible to be immune. It was possible to stop it.

            And yet he still killed Silas.

            He still lost his family.

            _Why were they not strong enough to be immune? Huh, God? Why did they have to die?_

            He squeezed his eyes tightly closed and took in a breath, releasing it slowly.

            _Why did my family have to die? Huh? Why… why couldn’t they be immune, too? Any of them?_

            There was no answer, and he knew there wouldn’t be.

            It wasn’t fair, but life wasn’t fair. Never was, never would be.

            It was something he accepted years ago.

            Footsteps approached. Someone sat next to him on the porch steps. He looked over and found warm green eyes watching him. Despite the anger from earlier, he felt something within him ease somewhat, and a small smile found its home on his face.

            “Hey,” he greeted quietly.

            “Hey,” Caleb said in return, smiling. “We should be good to go in about an hour or so. That okay with you?”

            Alec nodded, looking away and at the ground. “Sure. Sounds good.”

            For a moment, the two were wrapped in silence. It was heavy, and thick, and not very comfortable. Alec wished it’d end but didn’t know what to say.

            Thankfully Caleb broke the silence.

            “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Alec glanced at him to find the blonde’s gaze firmly latched onto the ground. “I wanted to tell you but… I knew it hurt you enough to learn about _me_ , let alone _them_.”

            “How many?” Alec asked softly.

            “I don’t know.”

            “Caleb.”

            “I _don’t_ ,” the blonde said, shaking his head, finally looking at him again. “I know of a couple of them, but I’m sure there are others. You know? So I don’t know how many there are. Nor do I know where they are.”

            Alec swallowed and nodded, accepting the answer.

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Why do you keep apologizing?” the brunette asked, frowning at him.

            Caleb shrugged, a half-hearted roll of his shoulder. “I don’t know. I just feel like I should.”

            “Well, stop.”

            “Sorry.”

            Alec narrowed his eyes at him and Caleb offered a small smile. The brunette shook his head and smiled back.

            IT was hard to stay mad at Caleb… especially when he didn’t even know why he was mad in the first place. It wasn’t like this was Caleb’s fault, after all. He couldn’t help that he’d been experimented on. He couldn’t help that it had actually worked on him. He couldn’t help that he was immune.

            It wasn’t his choice, after all. Just like it wasn’t Alec’s family’s choice to not be immune.

            It just happened, and life moved on. It sucked and it hurt and it certainly wasn’t fair, but it was life and it was just how it worked.

            He was just happy he wasn’t alone.

            Because that was truly something for which to be grateful.

 

“There,” Caleb said, shoving the pistol into Alec’s hand. The brunette’s fingers curled around it instinctively, even as he scowled. “Don’t give me that look. Take it.”

            It was time to leave this place. Fix, Nixa, and Spear stood with them, waiting to leave. They were going to travel with them back to town, perhaps stay the night and get some food, and then leave in the morning. Alec didn’t have any objections – it would probably be a lot easier to get to town with them since he didn’t know where they were.

            Sighing, he jabbed the gun onto his belt and stomped down the porch steps, out into the yard. “Fine. Let’s go.”

            Caleb chuckled and followed after him. Behind him trailed the other three. The sun was hot and high above them, beating down on them while birds crowed from dying trees. With a sigh, Alec wiped the sweat from his brow and pushed forward.

            The ever-present blonde next to him certainly helped matters.

            About thirty minutes later, they were midway through an unknown town, when a growl sounded from behind them.

            And then in front of them, and to the left. The right.

            Caleb stepped toward the brunette, partially covering him with his own body, while green eyes narrowed and looked around.

            Three zephroes appeared from the shadows of a building behind them. In the front appeared two more. To the left appeared one more, and to the right appeared three more.

            Nine zephroes in total.

            All surrounding them.

            Three guns between them – two of them measly pistols.

            No way out.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine: Changes

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Changes

 

The zephroes circled them with low growls. Alec had to admit the gun, while heavy in his hand, certainly left him feeling more secure than he would have otherwise, but even so, the situation was still dire. Caleb hovered in front of him, shoulders tense and spine rigid, a blade held firmly in his grasp. Spear stood to his left in a similar position more in front of Fix and Nixa. Of them, Nixa, Fix and Alec had guns. Alec and Fix had pistols. Nixa had some odd gun which looked like a cross between a rifle and a shotgun. He didn’t see a weapon in Spear’s hands.

            The snarls grew louder as the zephroes drew closer, discolored skin stretching over taut muscles and bone. With a growl, a zephro on his right lunged at them. A second later, so did the others.

            Everything exploded in a haze of action, and Alec wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. One moment he stood behind Caleb – the next he was shoved to the side, colliding with the ground, a zephro pinning him down, jaws snapping at his face. The gun clattered to the side, free of his grip once his back met the ground, the motion jarring him and stealing the breath from his lungs. He brought his hand up, grasping the zephro at the neck, struggling to hold back the teeth ready to tear into him.

            A gun fired three times in quick succession, and the zephro tumbled off him. He looked up and over to find Fix with his pistol raised and aimed, brown eyes narrowed in steely concentration. Quickly, Alec scrambled to his feet, snatching his gun off the ground, eyes quickly scanning the chaos around them in search of the blonde.

            He found Caleb next to Spear about twenty yards away, surrounded by three of the nine zephroes – now eight, since the one which had tackled him was dead. Caleb had a cut above his brow, and Spear had this wild look in his eyes as he lunged at the nearest zephro, long, jagged blade in hand. It occurred to him then that neither of them had guns.

            With a growl he moved toward them, because he was a horrible shot and if he had any hope of hitting his target, he needed to get closer so as to not accidentally shoot Caleb or Spear. He didn’t make it, however, as a zephro cut him off by ramming into him, knocking him to the side as though it knew of his plan, and he kissed the ground again.

            Claws swiped at him but he was prepared to hit the ground this time, and managed to keep a hold of his gun. He brought it up and fired quickly, catching the zephro in the chest as it roared and lunged away from him, discolored blood dripping down its chest and stomach. Its angry eyes latched onto him and it lunged again. He rolled out of the way and jumped to his feet, heart racing in his chest as he did so.

            A scream caught his attention and his head snapped over to find Nixa on the ground, blood squishing through her fingers from where she held them against her side, two zephroes looming over her. Movement caught Alec’s attention and he found that the zephro which previously stood in front of him was now making its way toward Nixa, transfixed at the sight and scent of her blood.

            Nixa’s odd gun lay next to her on the ground, but she didn’t even seem to notice the third zephro coming toward her as she bit her lower lip against the pain. The gun lay on her wounded side and Alec knew reaching for it would be painful, but necessary.

            He quickly reloaded his gun, fumbling with the magazine, before he took aim.

            A gun fired but it was not his own. It hit one of the zephroes in the back of the left shoulder and it spun toward Fix with a snarl. Fix stood a few yards away, injured arm hanging limply at his side, his other arm raised and already the fun was firing again. The zephro lunged forward at the same moment and the bullets missed, but Fix rectified this by firing again, catching it in the chest. The zephro stumbled but kept moving forward, and when Fix pulled the trigger and nothing happened, Alec watched the horror dawn on his face, the chamber empty.

            “Fix!”

            A figure slid between Fix and the zephro. Alec only recognized the blur as Spear when the zephro tackled him to the ground.

            A snarl from behind him caught his attention and he spun around to find a zephro lunging at him, jaws split open wide. Claws caught his shoulder and then he was on the ground again, the pistol firing as he was knocked down. The bullet whizzed by the zephro’s head before the gun flew from his grasp as his knuckles smashed into the ground.

            Pain shot through him as claws dug into his shoulders, scratching against bone, and hot breath ran across his face. He snapped his eyes closed, certain this was the end.

            _Just like Silas…_

            A gun fired.

            _Crack, crack, crack!_

            Three shots. The zephro howled in pain and rolled off of him, scrambling toward its attacker. Alec’s eyes snapped open to find Fix standing there, Nixa’s odd gun held in his bloody grip. A snarl split the guy’s face as he took aim again and fired at the oncoming zephro, this time managing two headshots, which finally killed the mutation.

            Alec’s shoulders burned, leaving him feeling momentarily dizzy, but he managed to push himself to his feet. As he looked around he noticed that all but two of the zephroes were dead, somehow. Currently they were both going after Nixa, who sat on the ground, cradling her side as she glared at her oncoming attackers.

            As soon as they got close to her, though, she released her bloody side and snatched her gun up off the ground, firing in quick succession.

            Alec hadn’t even noticed Fix sliding it across the ground, into her waiting hand.

            A moment later, the two zephroes hit the ground, dead.

            Silence rang around them. It was all Alec could do to believe they’d been attacked by nine zephroes and all the zephroes were dead, even though only three of them actually had weapons. Then again, everyone seemed like a good shot – except Alec. He really needed to practice more, and vowed to do that as soon as they returned to town. He knew Caleb would agree to help him.

            _Caleb._

            In the chaos he’d lost sight of the blonde.

            Now he scanned his gaze around and found Caleb hovering over Spear’s prone form. Fix returned to Spear’s side, dropping to his knees next to him, muttering something to Caleb. The blonde nodded. Nixa limped toward them after managing to get to her feet, and Alec joined them as well, frowning at Nixa.

            Caleb looked up and gestured for Nixa to sit next to him. “Let me look at that,” he said quietly.

            She nodded and rolled her shirt up somewhat, revealing her side. The wound was on Alec’s opposite side so he couldn’t see it, but he felt relieved when Caleb smiled at her.

            “It’s not that deep, you should be fine. Just need to worry about infection. Alec, how are you?” The blonde’s gaze landed on him.

            Alec nodded. “I’m okay. Just sore.”

            Caleb looked like he wanted to argue, before he shrugged and nodded, glancing at Fix. “We’re not far from town, right?”

            “No,” Fix said lowly. “We’re close.”

            “Okay,” Caleb said with a nod. “Then we’re good. Alec, you help Nixa walk, and help her keep pressure on that wound until we get back to town. Fix and I will take care of Spear.”

            Alec nodded, looking at Nixa, who sighed and nodded.

            A moment later they were heading toward town again, Spear unconscious between Fix and Caleb, and Nixa leaning heavily against Alec.       

 

 

By the time they reached town, it was nearly sunset. The fading sunlight cast dying shadows across the ground, but Alec recognized the area he was in, finally. A few minutes later they arrived at the gates which led into the small town-like area they’d been staying in for a while now. They’d had to stop a few times along the way, once to attempt to slow the bleeding from Spear’s abdomen since they were farther away from town they previously thought, and Caleb commented on how he was worried about the guy, which didn’t bode well. Nixa appeared to be doing okay, given the circumstances and her injuries.

            Someone called out to them from somewhere up above, and Alec glanced up to find a shadowed face peering down at them. He hadn’t even realized there was a place to stand up there, but then he never really looked at the gate very much. Now the person stared down at them.

            “Alec? Caleb?” the guy asked, and Alec released a breath of relief. The guy knew them.

            “Open up,” Caleb called back. “We got wounded people! Not infected.”

            The guy disappeared from view and a moment later, the gates swung open, and everyone moved inside.

            The town looked just as they had left it, with a few people walking down the path which led toward some of the larger houses where the majority of people stayed. There were a few tables lining the sides with food placed on them, along with other things like knives and whatnot. The town looked pretty happy, as it always did. Alec was certainly happy to be back, and he couldn’t keep the smile from his face even as he helped Nixa walk, Caleb and Fix leading the way with Spear slung between them.

            “What happened?” a voice asked, startling Alec. He looked to the right to find a guy approaching them. He relaxed somewhat when he noticed it was Randy, one of the guys he was fairly familiar with after living here for so long. It was nice to see a familiar face.

            “We were attacked,” Caleb said, exhaustion heavy in his voice. “Neutrohale and zephroes. Everyone’s dead except us and we wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for these guys.” He nodded his head toward Spear and Fix, and finally toward Nixa. “We need some help, they’re hurt.”

            Randy’s eyes widened and he nodded, instantly taking one of the arms from around Caleb’s neck and leading the way with Fix and Spear, allowing Caleb to sigh and approach Alec, no longer tied to the unconscious guy.

            A woman approached them a moment later and collected Nixa from Alec, leaving the two of them alone for the time being. Caleb scrubbed a hand across his face, took a breath, and glanced at Alec finally.

            “How are you?” he asked, gaze scanning over the brunette’s face.

            Alec shrugged and then winced when a muscle pulled. “I’m okay… could be a lot worse.”

            Caleb tilted his head in a small nod. “How are you healing?”

            Alec frowned. “I’m fine. Just sore. How are you?”

            Caleb was worse off, after all. He could still remember the scent of the blood which stained his hands, red gloves he didn’t ask for…

            The blonde grinned. “I’m fine. I guess there are some perks to being a monster.”

            Alec frowned. “Caleb, you know-”

            A hand waved near his face, dismissing his words. “It’s fine, ‘lec.”

            Alec froze without knowing what he was doing. It was a long moment before he even realized he wasn’t moving, wasn’t breathing, wasn’t even _thinking_.

            A voice called out to him through the fog in his mind as his heart raced painfully in his chest. Hands, warm and familiar on his shoulders. Words, loud and sharp in his ear, a report he couldn’t ignore. His eyes snapped closed at the same time as he sucked in a ragged breath, released from those icy binds which previous held him immobile. When he opened his eyes again he found green eyes watching him intently, the blonde’s face hovering only a few inches away from his own.

            “What the hell was that?” Caleb all but growled, hands tightening on Alec’s shoulders. “Huh? Fuck, Alec, if you’re not okay fucking _tell_ me, don’t just-”

            “I’m okay,” Alec managed to say through a tight throat.

            He wasn’t sure why he was reacting like this. There was no reason to do so. It had been years since anyone called him ‘lec, and while it was attached to a painful memory, it was only a name. A nickname, like babe or Al. It meant nothing.

            And it had been years since Silas died… since…

            _“Please, ‘lec.”_

            Alec released a shaky breath, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

            _Get a hold of yourself! You’re not a stupid little kid, get over it!_

            Except it wasn’t that easy. Why couldn’t it just be _easy_?

            “Alec? Hey? Babe!” A hand waved in front of his face and he blinked a few times, focusing on it. “What’s wrong, babe? Where does it hurt? Can you breathe okay?”

            And now Caleb was ushering him toward a wooden chair off to the side, left forgotten next to an empty table, most of the town people starting to clean up for the day.

            _This is completely ridiculous. It’s just a stupid name!_

            “Babe?”

            “I’m okay,” Alec said quietly.

            “You wanna try not lying to me, babe?”

            “I’m not lying. Nothing hurts. I can breathe just fine. I’m okay.”

            Green eyes scanned his face, the calculating glare of an investigator. “You don’t look so hot, babe. Maybe you should lie down for a bit.”

            Alec nodded. Lying down sounded good.

            Caleb smiled at him, grabbing his arm and hauled him to his feet.

            From there the blonde walked him to the room the two of them shared. Alec tried to get Caleb to sleep too, since it had been a rather long day and a lot happened, but the blonde refused after thoroughly checking the brunette for hidden injuries, declining due to the fact he had to go check on Spear and Nixa, and help if need be. Alec wasn’t happy about it but he let him go because there was no way he keep Caleb from doing something to help people. Plus Spear was an old friend of the blonde’s.

            So Alec lay down alone in the room the two of them shared, and closed his eyes.


	30. Chapter Thirty: Down Time

Chapter Thirty: Down Time

 

_What is…?_

            Alec woke to hot lips pressing against his own before lowering, a trail of quick kisses leading down his neck, toward his bare chest even though he remembered wearing a shirt when he fell asleep. He opened his eyes and watched as Caleb’s head snapped back up toward him, mouth landing solidly on his own, giving him very little chance to react. Alec’s body reacted on its own, though, his hands reaching out, slipping easily around the smaller form, pulling that warm body closer until it was hard to tell where Caleb began and he ended.

            His fingers curled into the blonde locks as Caleb’s tongue worked its way into his mouth, the two tongues battling for dominance. Alec laughed despite himself which wound up giving Caleb the advantage he needed to win that battle. Alec smiled around the blonde’s hot mouth and rolled the two of them so he was now sitting on top of Caleb, hands easily pinning those strong shoulders to the bed as their heated kiss finally broke.

            “Morning,” Caleb said, grinning. “Did I wake you?”

            “Hell yes you did,” Alec breathed. “You should totally do that more often. Jesus.”

            “I’ll keep that in mind, babe.”

            Alec smiled and then gasped as Caleb easily maneuvered himself so that his hands pushed Alec’s arms out from under him. His hands folded around the blonde’s shoulders and he collapsed into the solid body beneath him, chin resting on the edge of Caleb’s collarbone. He lifted his head enough to glare into those bright green eyes.

            “Was that necessary?”

            “Absolutely,” Caleb replied easily.

            “Why am I shirtless?”

            “Needed to clean and bandage your wound, babe.”

            Alec blinked, finally noticing for the first time the thick bandaging encasing his wounded shoulder. He hadn’t noticed it before thanks to the blonde’s mouth all over him. “So you took my shirt off, huh?”

            “You slept like a baby.”

            Alec rolled his eyes and sat up.

            Caleb’s grip on him tightened somewhat, hands firm on the brunette’s hips. “I didn’t say pull away, babe.”

            “You didn’t say come closer, either,” Alec told him, smirking despite the way his heart raced in his chest with eager anticipation. Sure, the two of them were technically together now, and he loved the closeness they now shared, but that didn’t mean this was something they did very often. In fact they’d only had sex once and while things got heated occasionally, it never went past touching, if that.

            Their time together was always brief but meaningful. Despite everything, Alec wouldn’t trade it for the world, because when it was just the two of them here in this room, close like this, the rest of the world slipped away from his mind. He didn’t fear the threat of dying due to the mutations; he didn’t even worry about his missing _knife_ , no matter how much that blade meant to him.

            That blade wasn’t a living object; Caleb was very much _alive_ and here with him _now_. Here with him in a way no one ever was before, and while Alec was hesitant to accept these feelings before, he openly acknowledged their presence now. He cared a lot about the blonde – probably more than himself, he realized.

            If there was a choice between saving himself and saving Caleb, he’d pick the blonde.

            “Well, I’m telling you _now_ ,” Caleb said, pushing his elbows under him, lifting himself up somewhat. “Come closer.”

            Alec smiled despite how nervous he was inside because this was all still very new to him. Caleb’s hand slid up his side, over the flat of his stomach, up the curve of his chest and finally slid around the back of his neck, tangling in his hair, dragging his head down toward the blonde’s waiting mouth.

Caleb still wore his shirt, which wound up being a problem because Alec found it vastly irritating to navigate around. He pulled back, grinning when Caleb followed him into a more sitting position, his hands tangling around the bottom of the blonde’s shirt. Caleb dutifully lifted his arms and soon the shirt was tossed to the floor, forgotten as soon as it left his hands because Caleb’s mouth was on his neck, nipping, biting, sucking, and that was all he could think about. His hands came around the blonde, gripping, tugging, pulling him closer, hands slipping across his smooth skin down toward the curve of his hips, hovering momentarily before he allowed his fingers to curl around the band of his jeans, silently asking, waiting, hoping…

Caleb’s permission was just as silent as his question, easily sliding back just enough that he could easily undo his pants and slide him off his body without really breaking away from the brunette. Alec tossed off his own as well, feeling much better once he was completely naked, no longer confined by the fabric.

Caleb pulled him on top of him and the two collapsed on the bed.

 

 

The light slumber in which they found themselves nearly an hour later was incredibly hard to break away from. Alec’s eyelids were heavy and he was comfortable – perfectly, incredibly comfortable with Caleb curled into his side, his head resting on the blonde’s shoulder, one hand splayed across the smooth chest, lightly fingering the scars he found there.

Caleb healed quickly and thus didn’t scar unless things were really bad. There were several scars running up and down his chest, all mostly faded but there nevertheless. Some looked like the familiar zephro claw marks while others… were different. He wanted to ask Caleb about them but did not wish to interrupt this quiet moment, because it was so rare between the two of them. So instead of speaking he simply trailed his fingers across that smooth chest, the flat stomach, down the curve of his hips and back up again, tracing a pattern only he could see. Caleb slept soundly through it all, clearly exhausted, and Alec didn’t blame him.

After all, not that long ago, he’d nearly lost the blonde. He himself nearly died, too, but more concerning was the blood which had pooled beneath Caleb’s too-still body. It was an image Alec wished he could wash from his mind but it was forever seared there, just like looking down at Silas when…

He took in a breath and closed his eyes, hand stilling on Caleb’s stomach, palm hovering over his belly button. Silas died a long time ago – years ago. He really needed to get over it. Caleb called him ‘lec and he nearly panicked. No, there was no _nearly_ about it, he panicked and in turn caused Caleb to think something was wrong with him. He needed to get over Silas’ death. Yes, Silas was his best friend once upon a time, practically another life ago. Yes, he missed Silas. Yes, he… he killed Silas. No, that did not mean he had to behave like this all the time.

He took Silas’ death worse than his own family’s, which was the strange part. It was probably because while his family did all die on him, he at least had Silas there with him through everything. Silas was always there to comfort him, distract him, help him. And then suddenly that constant presence was gone just like everything else, and he’d been completely alone for the first time.

That was probably what really hurt him – being utterly alone, and not the death itself. Perhaps he was selfish for thinking this way… He honestly didn’t know. He just knew he needed to get over it. Silas died six years ago – he needed to let him go. Let him go in peace, because he wasn’t coming back and holding onto him like this…

It wasn’t fair to anyone.

“Mm… babe?”

The voice was quiet, soft and a welcome distraction. Alec opened his eyes and found Caleb’s tired green eyes watching him, a hesitant frown on the blonde’s lips. “I’m okay,” he said quietly. “I just… I was thinking about Silas.”

“Oh.”

Silence wrapped around them for a moment. Caleb shifted as though to move away, and Alec unconsciously moved that hand from his stomach to his far side, holding him there, frowning at him. “I didn’t mean to have you pull away. I was just… When I freaked, earlier…”

“Babe?”

He took in a breath. “It’s stupid and I should really get over it, but… you called me… You called me _‘lec_.”

“Yeah…?”

“That’s… that’s what Silas called me when… when he _begged_ …”

He couldn’t finish, instead closing his eyes again. Another round of silence slid between them but then a warm, calloused hand was on his cheek, gently turning his head, and he opened his eyes to find Caleb smiling at him.

“Thank you for telling me,” he said quietly. “I won’t call you that again.”

“I should be over it…”

“He was a big part of your life. It’s okay, babe.”

“I… I need to get over it. And…”

Caleb’s thumb smoothed over his cheekbone, calming him even though Alec wasn’t entirely sure why. “It’s okay, babe,” the blonde said quietly, before his hand finally slipped away. “We should probably get up.”

Alec nodded slowly, even though all he wanted to do was curl back into the blonde’s side, where it was warm, comfortable… _safe_.

Caleb made him feel _safe_.

The blonde easily slid out of bed and Alec sat up, heaving a breathy sigh when he noticed the two of them were still naked. He didn’t even bother trying to hide his gaze as he watched Caleb walk across the room and pull out some clean clothes.

They were together, after all.

Why not watch?

 

Alec busied himself with work for the next few hours. Caleb was away tending to Spear and the others, since he was a decent medic and they were running low on medical supplies. That was what those last few away runs had been about, after all. Unfortunately they just kept ending in disaster.

He tried not to think about it, though, and focused instead on fixing one of the wagons that were lying around. A lot of things were left to the side to be dealt with whenever possible, if they weren’t an absolute, immediate necessity. Since he was good with his hands, so to speak, he tried to fix whatever he could here and there. All it basically entailed was a hammer, some nails and some wood.

His shoulder burned every time he lifted his arm, though. He knew it would be a while before he got full movement back, even longer before it stopped hurting completely, so he decided he’d only fix this wagon today, look over some finishing touches on the others, and then call it a day and wait for Caleb up in their room.

He was happy to be back in this community. He didn’t have to worry about anything bad happening to them here because it was well guarded and they had plenty of capable men and women around, some with knives and others with guns. He felt rather safe here, though not as safe as he felt tucked into Caleb’s side…

They hadn’t been together like this for very long, but they had been close for a while now. Nearly a year. Jesus, had it actually been a year since the two of them met? Time flew when you were fighting for your life, apparently. Either way, they’d been used to sleeping close together for a while now, mostly out of necessity since it was just the two of them for a while. Now, they had their own beds but Alec found he often missed the closeness the two previously shared, using Caleb as a pillow and vice versa. Sometimes the two did wind up sharing a bed, as they did earlier this morning, and that was always when Alec slept the best and when he felt the most _relaxed_.

Caleb had that calming effect on him, somehow.

He finished up his work on the wagons and tossed the hammer aside, wincing as he lightly rolled his shoulder this way and that, trying to work out the kinks building up in it beneath the bandaging. Sighing, he turned and began walking… _home_.

That room had somehow become _home_ to him. The concept of ‘home’ was something he hadn’t had since before M-Day. Now a smile slid across his face because that room, with Caleb, was _home_ and it was something he hadn’t had in such a long time…

It was funny how life changed like that.


	31. Chapter Thirty-One: Getting Smarter

Chapter Thirty-One: Getting Smarter

 

Alec woke the next day to find Caleb lacing his boots next to him on the bed. Yawning, he sat up and found his hand moving of its own accord, lightly trailing down the back of the blonde’s shoulder, between the shoulder blades and downward before it finally dropped back to his side. Caleb turned and smiled at him, finished with his boot, and leaned over, giving him a quick kiss to the lips. He pulled away too quickly for Alec to really react, though.

“In a hurry?” he asked.

Caleb hesitated, which really wasn’t like him. “Spear’s awake and wants to talk to me. He said it’s important.”

Alec nodded. “I’ll come with you,” he said.

“You don’t have-”

Alec silence him, quickly connecting his mouth to the blonde’s as he crawled out of bed next to him. “I want to.” He reached down and grabbed his own shoes, quickly tugging them on as he looked around for a clean shirt. Lately he only slept in his pants, if that. His ears burned as he thought back to previously, when they got back to town and Caleb woke him as he had.

_I wish it could happen more often._

He wished all of this could happen more often. He wished it could always be like this for them, so easy and sincere and everything, but no matter how calm things seemed at the time, there was still a battle raging on outside the community’s walls. It might have seemed different than the others wars of the past, but this was very much a fight for survival, a war against the mutations. So he knew those rare, tender moments were something to be cherished because in all reality… they could die tomorrow.

He swallowed thickly, the though striking him almost as a physical blow. How many times had they nearly died already? Every time they left this community they were in danger. They could easily die the next time they stepped foot outside those walls.

They were, after all, only human.

“Babe?”

Alec snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at the blonde, who stood in the doorway, frowning back at him. “Sorry, I’m coming.” He found a shirt and tugged it on, hurrying toward Caleb. He closed the bedroom door behind him and the two wandered downstairs and out of the house.

They walked in unison through the small community. Despite how small it was, there was a lot of people here. Often the streets were crowded. It reminded Alec of pictures he used to see in his history books, about life before the great industrial revolution, with vendors in the dirt streets and everything. It was very much like it was here except the streets were paved, though broken they were with how long they’d been there unattended to.

It was getting colder out. He long ago stopped assigning ‘seasons’ to the weather because, since he traveled all the time, sometimes he wouldn’t ever technically have a season. He would travel from one warm place, like Texas, up toward South Dakota or something, and by the time he managed to finally reach it while walking and stopping every night, the cold season would be over and it’d be warm there too. So, seasons meant very little to him since he traveled a lot but now, here in this one place…

He noticed the change in temperature. It was still early, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, and the air was getting colder. Soon he’d have to grab a jacket. How long had they been here? A few months, he knew. He had no idea what month this was or anything like that because _dates_ meant very little when one was fighting for their life every day in a world gone mad. Silas used to keep track of that – it was how he remembered Alec’s birthday when he himself forgot all about it. Silas liked the normalcy in the fear of uncertainty even though at the time, Alec knew it was a waste of time. Now, though…

He found himself missing it. He missed Silas’ way of keeping track of time.

Without it… he had no real sense of long term time.

He could count the days but had no way of knowing what month it was.

Hell, he didn’t even really know how long he and Caleb had been traveling together. He wanted to say it was a year, with those first few months spent being held in those cells by those crazy humans, and then finally traveling with him afterward.

Had it been six years since Silas? Seven? Maybe it was more. For all he knew he could have been in his thirties… though he didn’t think so. He liked to think he understood the concept of a ‘year’ passing him by, but honestly… he had no real way of knowing for sure.

Time never bothered him before, but now…

Now he was with Caleb and he didn’t want to waste a second of it because everything could _end_ tomorrow.

And now time _mattered_ again.

“Babe.”

Alec blinked. “Huh?”

Caleb watched him, frowning somewhat. “We’re here. You okay?”

“I’m fine, sorry. Just thinking.” He took in a breath and looked at the door of the house which had been dubbed the community’s ‘hospital’, if they could call it that. All their medical supplies were mostly stored here and he knew this was where Caleb spent a lot of his time when he wasn’t helping people learn to shoot or making bullets.

The two stepped over the threshold and entered the building.

Alec himself had never been here before. Everything about it was _clean_ and he could smell disinfectant, though that was a rare scent to come by these days. The walls had been painted by children, little handprints everywhere, and he found himself smiling despite himself as he and Caleb walked down the hallway, toward the stairs. All of these houses were huge, having been mansions before, but this one seemed like one of the biggest ones. It was understandable, of course. Hospitals could get crowded.

Homemade medical equipment lined the upstairs hallway, little tubes made out of wood and sticks, hollowed for better use, connecting with these bags of liquids. Wooden carts held the equipment along with knives and whatnot. Forgotten roles of bandaging sat next to them.

Caleb turned into a room and Alec quietly followed him.

Spear was awake, sitting up in bed, looking much better than the last time Alec saw him. He was pale, of course, and his chest was wrapped with bandages, but his eyes were bright as they focused on the two of them. “Hey,” he said with a smile that reminded Alec vaguely of Caleb. “Doc says I’m not such a Humpty after all.”

Caleb snorted, moving to stand next to the bed while Alec stayed at the foot of it. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. I do have something I want to talk about, though.” Now his gaze moved toward Alec briefly.

“He’s cool,” Caleb said, scowling. “Whatever you have to say can be said in front of him.”

Spear nodded and Alec relaxed somewhat, no longer feeling like an intruder. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not… but it seems like the mutations are getting… _better_. Smarter.”

Caleb nodded slowly. “Yeah. One of them managed to _grab_ me once. It was… odd.”

Alec didn’t like thinking about that because it reminded him of when and how he lost his knife. He should have been used to it by now but… it was still his last connection to Silas, and he missed it.

“Right, well… I thought it was a fluke or something until…”

Caleb nodded again, while Alec frowned. “Yeah. I saw it too.”

“Saw what?” the brunette asked.

“When we were attacked on the way here…” Caleb started slowly, looking at him. “When Spear and I were fighting together… one of the zephroes _dodged_.”

“Dodged?”

“Yeah. Like it was _learning_. It sidestepped my blade. It moved too coordinately to have been a normal zephro,” the blonde said, and Alec nodded slowly.

“They’re learning. _Great_.”

Because that was _just_ what they needed. Smart mutations!

“I might know… someone that can help,” Spear said.

“What?”

Spear looked at Caleb. “Zeke.”

“Zeke?” Caleb asked, frowning. “He’s alive?”

Spear nodded. “Yes, he’s alive. He’s also been locked in his lab for… years, I think. Last time I saw him, anyway. He said he knew the mutations were going to get smarter. At the time I didn’t believe him… why would I? But… now…”

“It doesn’t seem so farfetched,” Caleb continued.

“Who is Zeke?” Alec asked.

Caleb looked at him. “A friend, so to speak. He helped us escape when… when we were little. I thought he was dead, but… if anyone knows what’s going on, it’s him.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because,” Spear said, “he made us how we are.”

 

“This is crazy,” Alec said as he watched Caleb pack a small bag with clothes. “You can’t seriously be considering…”

“I have to,” the blonde replied, looking at him as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “If Zeke knows how to fix this… we have to try, Alec.”

“Fix this?”

“If he can make them stop getting smarter or something, I don’t know. But isn’t it worth a try?”

“But… why _you_?”

_Why do you have to go?_

“Because I owe him that much,” Caleb said quietly. “And I can’t make Spear do it on his own. Don’t worry – I’ll be fine.”

Alec shook his head. “I’m coming with you.”

“What? Babe-”

“If it’s okay for you to go, it’s okay for me to go.”

“Babe…”

“I’m not letting you go alone, Cal. We’re… We’re together, right? That means we don’t let each other do stupid things like this alone.”

Caleb watched him for a long moment. “You realize it’s not going to be easy, right? And… and we might not make it back, babe.”

Alec took in a breath, releasing it slowly. “I’m okay with that as long as I’m with you, Cal.”

_Okay, that was cheesy._

Oh well, though, because it was the truth.

Caleb’s expression softened and he smiled faintly. “Love you too, babe.”

Alec’s face burned. “When are we leaving?”

“In an hour. Spear’s getting the okay to leave now.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

One hour to come to terms with the fact this could very well be a suicide mission. One hour to say goodbye to this place he’d come to think of as _home_.

One hour…

But he wasn’t letting Caleb go alone. If the blonde insisted on going with Spear, Alec was going to stay by his side.

Caleb’s hand was warm against the back of his neck as the blonde stood in front of him, lightly pulling his head in toward him. Alec expected a kiss but instead the blonde simply touched their foreheads together, releasing a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to do this, babe.”

“I want to,” he said quietly.

“Thanks, babe.”

And then their lips finally met in a grateful, slow kiss.

 

He wasn’t entirely sure how it happened but the people in charge of the community decided to give them a dog. Alec suspected Caleb told them about their plan to meet with a scientist who might know what was going on, and this was the town’s way of showing support. Either way, a dog might come in handy.

It was a black lab, fully grown, and seemed to be attached to Caleb’s hip. Alec recognized it as one of the dogs which usually hung around the shooting range. For some reason the dogs liked it there even though Alec wondered how it didn’t hurt their ears. Either way this dog seemed fond of Caleb and Alec wasn’t going to question it. It would be nice to have a dog with them – dogs had early warning detection, after all. It would be able to smell or hear something before they knew what was happening.

Everyone was quiet as they left the town. It was going to be a long walk, Alec knew. He hoped Spear knew where they were going. Hadn’t he said he had his own town to get back to, since he was the leader of it or something? Then again, this was probably more important. He knew Caleb wouldn’t agree to join him otherwise, and drag Alec with him.

Alec didn’t mind going with him, though – home wasn’t so much that room, a physical place, as it was a state of mind, and he only felt like this with the blonde. Therefore, there was really no debate about going with him. Wherever he went, Alec was going to follow.

He hadn’t felt this loyal to someone since Silas, since his family, but after being alone for six years…

It felt _nice_ to be with someone again. Especially in a way he’d never been with anyone before.

And he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Wherever they were going, as long as he and Caleb stayed together, he was perfectly fine with it.


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two: The Art of Traveling

Chapter Thirty-Two: The Art of Traveling

 

They walked for days and rarely stopped. They stopped only when sleep became a necessity, or if the weather got too bad. Several storms had hit and the air was getting colder. One morning Alec woke to find himself able to see his breath, and was that much more thankful to find himself wrapped around the blonde. They slept in various abandoned buildings and took turns keeping guard, though more often than not Caleb and Spear kept watch because their senses were heightened due to the fact they were the mutations done _right_ , and Alec was still trying to wrap his head around that. Fix and Nixa seemed used to it, though, and slept soundly while one of them was keeping watch.

The black lab, Koda, was helpful in sensing potential threats as well. Already they’d been attacked by a few zephroes, mostly traveling alone. Zephroes weren’t necessarily likely to travel in large packs, but they weren’t really solitary creatures either. Neutrohales were, of course, but zephroes had more of the pack mentality and strength in numbers. It was odd to see one by itself but always a welcome surprise because it meant that individual zephro was that much less dangerous. That in no way meant they weren’t dangerous, because all it took was a bite from one little zephro for everything to end.

Currently, Alec estimated they were three or four days into their travel. They had light jackets but he knew that soon, the weather would become too much for them. They’d either have to stop somewhere until the storm passed or they’d have to travel faster in an effort to outrun it, so to speak.

Alec didn’t mind traveling in the rain, really, except for the fact that it was really starting to get chilly. Dying from the flu or something was still a very real possibility even though most people overlooked that because of the mutations, since they were the bigger threat. But what a lot of people forgot was that modern medicines didn’t exist anymore – not like they used to, anyway. Most of their cures for colds and everything consisted of herbs and what little medicine they managed to scavenge. All of the medicine had pretty much been wiped out years ago, though, since the factories and everything shut down and no more was being produced. High demand and low supply, after all.

Caleb was a good medic but there were some things medics couldn’t fix, like the cold. Now was definitely not the time to be getting sick, not when they needed to reach this Zeke guy, not when they were traveling through hostile territory. Everywhere was hostile territory at the moment, though, because the mutations could be anywhere, around any corner.

Koda helped in spotting the danger before it happened but that did not mean they were necessarily in the clear. Ammunition wasn’t something they had a lot of, after all. Their guns were to be used sparingly. Otherwise, Nixa had some bows and arrows from the community they’d been in, and each of them all had a knife of some sort.

Except Alec.

They didn’t give him a knife.

They gave him a goddamn _sword_. He wasn’t sure where they got it or why they lent it to him, but he was oddly grateful. The weight of it was off due to the fact he’d mostly only ever used small knives, but somehow it felt more natural than using a gun.

“So how much do we know about this Zeke guy?” Alec asked one night around the small fire they’d created. They all huddled around it for warmth and Koda sat at Caleb’s feet, eying the cooked fish the blonde held.

“He was part of the research team who created the mutations,” Caleb explained. Koda whimpered at him and he sighed, tossing his food to the dog who happily ate it.

Staying next to a river had the upside of food but the downside of the cold chill coming off of it. Alec shifted slightly closer to the fire, frowning at the blonde. “Like your dad?” he asked, mostly to clarify.

Caleb nodded. “Yeah. They worked together. Except Zeke was one of the true brains behind it, my dad was just a lab scientist who did his job.”

“Zeke helped us escape after M-Day,” Spear said. Alec glanced over at him, unaware he’d even been awake. Spear was sitting up next to Fix and Nixa, who were both asleep. “Without him we wouldn’t be here.”

Alec nodded slowly. “So you think he’ll know why the mutations are getting smarter?”

The thought still sent a chill crawling through him every time, because wasn’t it bad enough these mutations existed? Now they had to gain intelligence?

Alec didn’t doubt that humanity would be slaughtered if these mutations did manage to gain that form of intelligence, the ability to think and react and plan…

_Not gonna think about it._

“I hope so,” Caleb said. “If anyone knew anything about it, it’d be him.”

Alec nodded. “Do you think he can stop it? Fix it?”

“Hope so,” Caleb said again, sighing heavily as he shook his head. “Otherwise… what’s the point?”

_Right. If he can’t stop it… humanity is doomed._

He swallowed thickly and looked at the flames, watching as they flickered higher and lower, at random. It was easier to focus on than the fact that, if Zeke couldn’t stop it, they were all dead anyway.

_We just can’t win…_

 

_I don’t like this._

Granted, Caleb didn’t like _anything_ about this so he wasn’t sure why he like the thought of Alec traveling with him. Yes, he enjoyed the brunette’s company and didn’t enjoy being parted from him, but that meant Alec was now in danger. At least at the community, he was _safe_. Caleb could have left with Spear and wouldn’t have had to really worry about him because he was perfectly _safe_ but now Alec was traveling with them.

He didn’t like it, but he didn’t really dislike it either.

A part of him wondered if this was going to be a suicide mission. If so he was happy to have Alec with him so the two could be together, and so he wouldn’t have to feel that guilt if he died out here while Alec waited for him back at the village. Then again he also hated having Alec with him for mostly the same reason – they could both die.

He really hoped this worked. The last time he saw Zeke he was thirteen-years-old, running for his life with Spear at his side. Zeke didn’t make it out of the building and it wound up just being him and Spear for a long time – a year, probably. And then Spear vanished too, in the wake of an attack, and Caleb thought he was dead.

He seemed to have thought a lot of people were dead who, it turned out, were very much alive.

Zeke was good at his job, being one of the key minds behind the idea for the mutations – though they were supposed to be the great ‘cure all’ – and if the mutations really _were_ getting smarter, learning how to think and plan, then they really needed to talk to him. If anyone could come up with a way to stop it… it’d be him.

He had to hope this would work.

Otherwise the mutations would become truly superior and nowhere would be safe, not even the community.

 

Two days later found them outside a small town. Snow lightly coated the ground and no matter how much Alec wrapped his arms around himself, he could never seem to get warm. These jackets weren’t cutting it anymore, but they had to keep going. If they stopped and stayed here they’d die, either because of how smart the mutations would become or because of the weather.

Either way it was bad and they needed to keep moving.

Spear easily opened a door whose hinges had seen better days, and gestured for everyone to end the house. They did so and the door closed behind them with a loud _creak_.

And then Alec found a gun aimed at him as he stared down the barrel.

A young man stood there, probably a little younger than Alec, with terrified blue eyes and long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. The gun trembled in his grasp but at this range there was no way he could possibly missed if he chose to fire.

Caleb easily stepped a little closer to him, somewhat shielding him. The man’s gaze snapped toward him, as did his gun. “Whoa, buddy, take it easy. We’re not here to hurt you, we’re just cold.”

“Get out.”

“We can do that,” Caleb said, placating. Slowly the group started to back out of the house when a young woman came around the corner, a baby nestled in her arms, tattered covers wrapped around the small form.

Her eyes widened when she saw them and she instantly held tighter to her baby.

“We’re not going to hurt you, ma’am,” Spear said with a disarming smile. “We were just trying to get out of the weather for a while, that’s all. We were just leaving.”

Spear opened the door and was pelted with snow, the storm growing stronger, winds moving rapidly, the chill a biting cut through the flesh.

“It’s okay,” the woman said quietly, glancing at the man. “They can stay, Jon. They’ll freeze out there and this is the most stable house for miles.”

The man continued glaring at Caleb, gun still aimed at him, before he finally sighed and lowered his gun, nodding slowly. “Alright. You can stay – but you stay in this room and no funny business, do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Spear said. “Thank you.”

“Boy or girl?” Caleb asked, looking at the woman and her child.

The woman smiled proudly. “Girl. She’s three months old.”

“Cute,” Caleb said, taking a small step away from the door. The man watched his every move, gun still held lightly in his grasp even though he wasn’t pointing it anyone anymore. “What’s her name?”

“Iris,” the woman said with a wide smile only a mother ever seemed to pull off. Alec could remember his own mother making it, usually when he got good grades at school, the smile of adoration and love and how proud she was of him…

“That’s a pretty name,” Spear said as Fix and Nixa moved across the room, dropping their things in the corner. Koda followed them over there, somewhat bushy tail wagging happily as Fix’s hand brushed over his head.

“Thank you. My name is Irene and that’s Darren. Sorry for the rude welcoming…”

“It’s perfectly understandable, Irene,” Caleb said. “And we really appreciate you letting us stay here. We have some leftover fish if you’re hungry?”

Her brown eyes brightened. “That would be wonderful! Food is scarce around here.”

“Then let’s eat.”

The door of the house suddenly opened again, causing everyone to stiffen and look back at it. Another young man walked through, eyes widening in surprise when he took notice of everyone. From the looks of it, he seemed as though he’d been wandering for days, cheeks gaunt and brown eyes sunken, face pale.

“Oh… I’m sorry,” he said slowly. “I didn’t mean to… I’ll go.”

“It’s okay,” the woman, Irene, said quietly. “We’re already letting these people stay… so you can too.”

_Well, at least she’s generous._

Which was a lot more than could be said for most of humanity these days.

“What’s your name?” Spear asked the newcomer.

The man hesitated, clearly looking out of place and flustered. His gaze dropped to the ground. “Luka. My name is Luka.”

“Nice to meet you, Luka. I’m Caleb.”

 

Irene and Darren were very kind to them while they stayed with them but now it was time to leave. They were on a mission, after all, and if they didn’t make it, it could mean the end for everyone. There was no time to waste.

So two days later, once the snow storm passed, they left the house. Alec was slightly shocked to find that Luka was now going to be coming with them as the guy couldn’t have been older than eighteen and he seemed to barely know how to use a blade, if how he was holding it was any indication.

He would just slow them down.

And then Alec felt horrible for thinking like that because the guy was obviously _scared_ and he was traveling _alone_ and he knew firsthand how much that sucked, and how hard it was. Just because the guy wasn’t good with a blade yet didn’t mean he didn’t deserve to come with them – Alec himself was horrible with guns, after all. Who was he to judge?

Koda seemed to take an instant liking to Luka and now walked next to him instead of Caleb. Alec of course walked next to the blonde. Spear, Nixa and Fix took up the front since Spear seemed to be the only one who knew the way, being slightly older than Caleb. He probably remembered more, or maybe he’d been in contact with Zeke before now. Honestly he had no idea.

Either way, he was in charge.

Most of their time walking that day was spent in silence. It was cold and Alec couldn’t stop shivering, but then no one really could. Even Koda seemed to shiver a little and he had to walk in it with his bare paws. Alec almost felt bad for him except he was too cold to do so at the moment.

They needed to find somewhere to stop and start a fire. Otherwise they would surely catch a cold, or worse, hypothermia since they only had these thin jackets. Unfortunately it was all the village had to give them before they left, and while Alec was grateful, he couldn’t help but wonder if they really didn’t have winter coats somewhere, or if they were just being stingy.

Luka remained quiet for the most part. Occasionally Caleb would try to start a conversation with him, even with his teeth chattering, but it never seemed to really work. No one was in the mood to talk at the moment.

And so they traveled in silence.

Eventually, though, they did make it to another small town with a large, abandoned building on the outskirts. They decided to stay there for the night and entered the building. The air was thick, cold and dusty and left Alec coughing.

“I’ll take first watch,” Caleb offered.

Spear nodded, yawning as he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Alright. I’m gonna start a fire.”

Starting a fire while indoors wasn’t necessarily the best idea, but it could potentially be suicide if they started it outside. It could attract unwanted attention, and then where would they be? So starting the fire inside seemed like the only logical choice for the time being.

Spear pulled out a few sticks from his bag and got to work on starting that fire. Eventually the friction created fire and everyone moved to sit around it. Spear, Nixa and Fix all lay down next to each other while Alec lay down next to Caleb, with Luka on his other side.

Eventually it did get a little warmer and Alec’s teeth stopped chattering. Now all he could hear was the slight crackling of the fire and the snoring breaths of Fix, which could sometimes get quite loud.

“So… where are going?” Luka surprised him by asking. He currently sat on Alec’s left side while Caleb sat on his right.

“The mutations are getting smarter,” Caleb said quietly, using a stick to lightly prod the fire, causing it to burn a little better, that crackling sound growing. The smoke stung Alec’s eyes. That was one of the downsides of having a fire inside but still much better than getting attacked by the mutations.

“Stronger?”

“Yes. They’re learning, I guess. We’re heading toward a buddy who might be able to keep that from happening. The last thing we need are smart mutations.”

Luka nodded slowly, chewing on his lower lip. “I think I’ve actually seen them be a little smarter. They’re kind of forming ranks now.”

“Ranks?” Alec echoed, frowning as he pushed himself up with his elbows.

“Yes, like… it’s like they’re in an actual pack. There’s an alpha and everything.”

“Just _great_ ,” Caleb groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. “As if we didn’t have enough to worry about. How big are these packs getting?”

“The last one I saw had to be at least a dozen or so.”

Caleb sighed, shaking his head. “Fucking _great_.”

The blonde’s irritation was heavy in the air. Alec sat up completely and rested a hand lightly on Caleb’s knee, waiting until those green eyes snapped toward him questioningly.

“We’ll get through it,” he said quietly, and hoped he wasn’t lying.

Caleb’s smile was faint but sincere as his hand came up and moved over Alec’s, lightly grasping. “Of course we will, babe.”

“Are you two together?” Luka asked.

Alec glanced at him. “Is that a problem?”

“No,” Luka said. “Those things stopped mattering a long time. I was just… wondering how you manage to be in a relationship with everything that’s happening around us…” His eyes widened somewhat. “You don’t have to answer that! I’m sorry, I’m being nosy.”

Caleb chuckled. “It’s fine, Luka. And the way I see it… why not find a little happiness before the lights go out? We could all die tomorrow… I don’t want any regrets.”

Alec nodded, smiling at him. “No regrets yet, right?”

Green eyes sparkled as they watched him. “No regrets, babe.”

 

Alec woke the next morning to find his head resting in Caleb’s lap. The blonde in question was seated against the wall, head tilted back somewhat, expression serene in sleep. Alec smiled at him because that was one of his favorite parts about waking up next to the man – he looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. It was an expression the brunette loved to see.

He sat up and looked around, finding Spear off to the side, keeping guard. Yawning, he got to his feet and walked toward the man, plopping down beside him.

“How’s it going?”

Spear glanced at him. “Pretty good so far – no attacks yet.”

Alec scowled. “Don’t jinx it, please.”

Spear laughed, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t dream of it. How are you and Cal doing?”

There was a touch of anger at the use of ‘Cal’ though Alec wasn’t really sure why. It was just a simple nickname, after all, and anyone could use it. But he felt like it was more personal than that… like how Caleb only ever seemed to call him ‘babe’ despite the fact he once said he called everyone that. And now Alec didn’t like Spear using that nickname because it just didn’t seem right.

_Wow. I get jealous over the stupidest freaking things._

“We’re doing okay,” he finally replied.

“I’m glad. He deserves to be happy.”

Alec glanced back at the sleeping form of his… boyfriend? Would that be the correct term? The sleeping form of his boyfriend, and smiled faintly. “Yeah. He does.”

“Do you love him?”

“I…”

Did he love him? He had nothing to compare their relationship to since this was the first time he’d ever had one, the first time he’d done anything with another person like this. But he would die for Caleb without a second thought and he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he ever lost the blonde…

So…

“Yeah. I think so.”

Spear grinned. “Happy to hear it. He loves you too, you know. You be good to him and he’ll be good to you.”

“Speaking from experience?”

Spear chuckled, shaking his head. “Kind of, I guess you could say.” His gaze slid over Alec’s shoulder and Alec turned to find him watching Fix.

His eyes widened as he looked back at Spear. “You and Fix…?”

“No,” he sighed, shaking his head. “He wants to, but… I can’t… I can’t afford to be distracted.”

“He’s a distraction?”

“Kind of. I mean… I think I might love him. He’s been there for as long as I can remember. We were captured about five years ago, thrown in the same cell together. We kept each other sane and kept each other alive, and in the end we broke out.”

Alec swallowed. “That kind of sounds like me and Caleb. He… We were captured by humans and put in these cells. They made us work for them, doing various things. Eventually zephroes broke in and killed _everyone_ … except us. Cal got us out of there.”

Spear smiled. “He’s always been pretty good at getting out of sticky situations.”

“So why aren’t you and Fix together if you like him and he likes you?”

The black haired man shook his head with a heavy sigh. “It’s not that simple. He already worries about me enough… if we got together he’d worry even more and we’d never get anything done because I was taking too many ‘risks’.”

Alec frowned. “That’s why? Because he’ll worry too much? Won’t he still worry about you? I mean, you guys are friends and he likes you.”

“Yes. But if we did get together… it would just make more memories, more feelings, and then it might distract us when it matters the most.”

“So… should I not be with Caleb?”

By Spear’s logic, that seemed to be kind of what he was saying.

Spear’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. “No! No, I’m not saying that at all. You make him happy. This is just… a personal choice. Nothing against you two.”

“What are you two whispering about over here?”

Alec spun around to find Caleb standing behind them, hands on his hips as he watched them, brow quirked inquisitively. “Um… nothing! Just, uh… how did you sleep?”

“I slept okay,” the blonde replied. “Should we wake the others and keep moving?”

Spear sighed and got to his feet. “Yeah. That sounds like a plan.”


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three: Dr. Zeke

Chapter Thirty-Three: Dr. Zeke

 

The further south they went the warmer it got.

Alec wasn’t entirely sure what state they were in – California? Arizona? – but really he was too grateful to care. The jackets were enough to keep them warm for now.

They’d traveled for two weeks already. Two weeks since they left the gated community. Two weeks since they realized they were pretty much running out of time. Two weeks since they decided to find Zeke.

According to Spear he was in his lab, wherever that was. But he seemed to know where he was going so Alec took that as a good sign. He said they were finally getting close, perhaps another day’s walk at least.

_Good. I have blisters on top of blisters._

Walking for so long was hard on his feet. These shoes weren’t exactly his size, slightly bigger than his size actually, which left his feet sliding around in them, created unwanted and unneeded friction which eventually gave way to blisters. And they were still walking, making them hurt all the more.

Currently they were in the country somewhere, staying in a farmhouse which had clearly seen better days, but it was the only thing around for miles. When they finally stumbled into it everyone breathed a sigh of relief and clambered into the house. After doing a quick, thorough check to make sure it was safe enough, with no humans or mutations hiding in it somewhere, they finally sat down in the large living room, dropping their bags at their sides. The satchels couldn’t carry too much but having to carry them all the time, for hours on end, made one at least a little exhausted.

Especially depending on what each of them had in it. Since they were going to be traveling together they decided it was best to spread the supplies between them so no one was carrying a very heavy load.

Alec’s satchel stored the back up knives – two of them – and some spare ammunition, along with a small pistol he didn’t exactly plan on using. He also had some clothes in there.

Caleb was, of course, in charge of medical supplies so that was what his satchel held. Medical supplies and some herbs.

Nixa and Fix carried the leftover food – which sometimes made their satchels reek to high heaven – and some spare ammunition, as well as arrows and pistols. Nixa had the arrows and her bow was usually strung over her back, while Fix got the pistol.

Spear carried a little of everything – a roll of bandaging, some edible herbs, clothes and various other small things.

None of the satchels were too heavy but walking for so long with them did tire them out. He figured everyone was at least a little sore.

But they were almost there. Relief weighed through him because soon this could all be over – they’d get to Zeke and the mutations would stop getting smarter, stop gaining a form of intelligence. It was the only way humanity could survive. It was the only reason they’d managed to last this long.

Caleb plopped down next to Alec, smiling at him. “Almost there, babe.”

“I know.”

Now they just needed to hope this Zeke guy could really help. Otherwise they came all this way for nothing.

It was something Alec didn’t like thinking about, though.

Thunder roared outside, startling him because when they got here, it hadn’t even been raining. Now he heard the harsh winds push against the house, heard the rain pelt what was left of the windows, and the cool air encircled them from where some of those windows were utterly broken.

“Looks like we got here just in time.”

Alec nodded, sighing as he glanced back at Caleb. The two of them were sitting off to the side, the other three across the room, quietly talking amongst themselves, while Luka was currently laying down somewhere between them, breaths already evening out in sleep. It had been a long journey for him, after all. At least they knew what they were in for when they started this journey – he met them halfway and wasn’t used to traveling like this, it seemed. Alec wondered how he’d managed to stay alive thus far, but it seemed pretty obvious he _used_ to be with someone. He was comfortable being surrounded by others but he also kept to himself. The brunette wondered what happened to his group, but thought he already knew the answer.

Dead, right? It was how everyone seemed to turn out in the end.

He swallowed. “We’re gonna… we’re gonna make it, right, Cal?”

Caleb smiled warmly and despite everything, Alec felt slightly better. “We’ll make it, babe. Together.”

Alec took in a breath and nodded. Caleb got to his feet.

“I’m gonna look around, babe.”

Alec got up as well and moved to join him. Together they walked out of the living room, through the kitchen and toward the staircase near the back door. It got colder the closer they got to the stairs because of the cracked and broken windows. Once upstairs they looked through various rooms before they found one with a large bed which was, miraculously, mostly intact.

Usually beds were broken or shredded, when found in abandoned houses and whatnot. Since they’d been traveling, though, Alec found he did miss the beds back at the village they’d been staying at. He’d gotten used to them and now he had to get used to sleeping on the solid ground again.

Caleb sat on the bed, smirking at him. “Looks like we might get to be comfy for one night.”

“The others…”

“They’re fine where they are,” the blonde said, shrugging. “They looked through here already – if they wanted the bed they would have taken it.”

He had a point. Besides, the bed was looking rather tempting.

He moved to sit next to the blonde.

 

Two days later they finally reached their destination.

Alec looked up at the large building, made of metal and cement, practically impenetrable from the outside. He hoped that meant it was still safe inside, from the mutations and everything.

If not, they came all this way for nothing.

Spear felt around in the entrance, opening up a scanner, hidden within the structure. He pressed his palm against it and the door slid open, leaving Alec and Caleb sharing looks.

“It still works?” Caleb asked.

Spear nodded grimly. “Yeah. Apparently so.”

“What works?” Alec asked.

“From where we…” Spear’s gaze slithered toward Luka momentarily, before he sighed and shook his head. “Well, we were here before. Caleb’s dad worked here. So… yeah, it still works.”

Alec could understand how cautious he was saying too much around Luka. It wasn’t a secret to be told lightly and they barely knew the guy. Even Alec had been shocked to hear it from Caleb, and he hated how he reacted, but he feared how someone might react if they didn’t know Caleb personally, or Spear. If Alec didn’t know Caleb and learned this secret, he’d be more than a little wary. He might even…

But he couldn’t think like that.

They stepped through the doorway into darkness. Slowly, lights turned on in the long hallway. Alec blinked at the use of electricity, but this was a science lab after all. Of course they still had perks, especially if that scanner still worked and opened the doors automatically.

No one spoke as they moved down the hallway. Alec wasn’t sure how long they walked but finally they reached the end of the dimly lit hallway, approaching a large glass door. Candles flickered inside so clearly someone was here. Spear easily twisted pushed the door open.

Almost instantly there was a shotgun nearly touching his chest.

The pump-action shotgun was held in the firm grip of a man probably in his late fifties or early sixties, with graying brown hair, pale, marred skin and wild brown eyes. For a long moment no one moved, didn’t even breathe, until recognition dawned in the man’s eyes and he slowly lowered his gun, but only just.

“Nickolas?” the guy asked quietly, before his gaze landed on the blonde. “Caleb?”

“Hey, Zeke,” Spear said with a small smile. “Been a while.”

“It’s you,” Caleb murmured. “I thought you were dead.”

“I could say the same about you,” the guy, Zeke, said, shaking his head. His long, tangled brown strands flipped across his face as he did so. “How did… What are you doing here?” His gaze then slithered toward the others, uncertainty marring his face. Alec understood his hesitation but couldn’t really talk about it with Luka within hearing range.

“The mutations are getting stronger,” Spear said. “And smarter. They’re forming ranks now, and… well, them gaining intelligence and the ability to _plan_ is just… We need to stop it. We thought you would be the best person to ask.”

Zeke frowned somewhat. “Smarter?”

“Yes.”

“I see. I’ve been studying them in my free time, and I may have found something that might help.”

Alec’s spine relaxed and he released a slow breath. Thank God – they didn’t come all the way here for nothing. He knew something about what was going on, and hopefully he could stop it.

“How can you stop it?” Luka surprised them by asking. He was usually so quiet, only speaking when spoken to. Alec glanced at him. Koda sat at his feet, tongue hanging happily out of his mouth.

“We created the mutations.”

Luka’s eyes widened and Alec took in a quick breath, shocked Zeke just came right out and said it. “You _what_?”

“By accident, of course,” Zeke sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “We created a compound, created with the most basic of our genetics, along with more adrenaline and serotonin. But that’s not the important part right now – I think I can help.” His gaze slid toward Spear. “As you know, I worried this day might come some day.”

Spear nodded. “Yeah. It seemed… farfetched then.”

Now, though, it made sense because it was actually happening.

“I need to sever the synapse of their brains,” Zeke said. “Theoretically, they operate solely on vital body functions with simple thought processes.” He paused. “Zephroes, anyway. Neutrohales are another matter entirely.”

Alec shuddered just thinking about those creatures. Neutrohales were the worst – larger, stronger, and smarter. Sometimes they traveled in groups but usually alone because they didn’t need a pack to survive, so to speak. Neutrohales could learn from things. Trick a neutrohale into a trap – it wouldn’t work next time. This was why neutrohales were so elusive, for the most part, and why it was so damn hard to kill one of them.

They always had higher than basic brain functions.

The main concern right now, though, was the zephroes. It was true that neutrohales could change someone into a neutrohale if they bit them, but anyone close enough to get bitten usually wound up dead a few seconds later, either because of excessive blood loss or infection. The change wasn’t perfect. If one lived through it, though… they became a neutrohale.

At least, that was how it’d always been explained to him whenever he asked. He’d been hoping they were extinct, since he hadn’t seen one in a while, but then they ran into that one neutrohale on that supply run.

_Still very real._

“Can you tamper with their synapse?” Fix asked, frowning.

He stood slightly closer to Spear than anyone else, Alec noticed. Even if Spear tried to fight it, there was definitely a connection there.

He wished Spear would just go for it. He seemed like a nice guy – why not be happy? Alec was certainly much happier now that he was with Caleb. He enjoyed their talks, their closeness, their connection… He enjoyed everything even though he had nothing to really compare it to. It just simply _was_ and that was all that mattered.

Shouldn’t Spear and Fix give it a chance, at least?

But it wasn’t his place to decide.

“I would like to speak with you two privately,” Zeke said, gesturing at Caleb and Spear. Alec’s eyes narrowed even as Caleb nodded and took a step forward. Zeke led the two around the metal table in the center of the room, the candles’ flickering casting ominous shadows over them. They disappeared through a back door, into what seemed like a closet of sorts. Ideal for privacy, he guessed.

_What’s so important he can’t tell us too?_

Then again, Zeke only knew Caleb and Spear. Alec would be a little wary in his shoes, too.

That didn’t mean he had to like it, though.

Because he didn’t. At all.

 

Caleb emerged first, quietly closing the door behind him, expression contorted, brows furrowed as he frowned and glanced at Alec. Alec cocked his head to the side, wondering what was wrong. Caleb nodded at him to move toward the door through which they’d entered, and Alec began moving that way, the blonde following after him. The rest of the group were all seated around the room. Alec was marginally happy to see he wasn’t the only one worrying – Fix kept casting glances at the door, too, even more so now that Caleb came out but Spear had yet to do so.

Caleb led him down the hallway, toward the door through which they entered the building. They didn’t leave, though, just simple stood there in the dimly lit hallway.

“What happened?” Alec asked. “What’d he say? What’d he want? Is Spear okay?”

_Are you?_

“He just wanted to talk,” Caleb said.

“Then why are you… so…”

_Like this._

There wasn’t really a name for it. He couldn’t decipher that expression. It wasn’t tight with pain or anger; it wasn’t lifted in confusion; it wasn’t bright with anticipation or happiness…

“Cal?”

Caleb scrubbed a hand over his face and released a slow breath. “He… He’s been working on this for a long time, babe. Years. Ever since it happened.”

Alec nodded to let him know he was listening, even as he itched to step closer to the blonde, or say something. He kept quiet only because he didn’t want to miss what Caleb had to say.

“They created the mutations by enhancing our genes, so to speak. The… dying person… or sick person… Fatally ill. The fatally ill people’s cells were too weak to keep them alive for much longer. They were dying. So they injected this… compound into them. I don’t know all the details ‘cause I’m not a scientist, but basically…” He chewed on his lower lip, hesitating as he averted his gaze. His hands twitched nervously at his sides.

“Cal?” Alec asked, frowning at him. “What’d he say?”

Caleb took in a slow breath. “He thinks... He thinks he can not only stop them… but permanently _get rid of them_.”

Alec’s mind blanked. “He… _what_?”

_No. That… No._

“I agree, it sounds… crazy, absurd, _impossible_ , but… but he thinks he can… make a sort of counteractive chemical that will decrease the adrenaline and serotonin and essentially leave the… leave the mutations to rot away.”

“That’s…”

“Crazy, I know. I didn’t believe him at first either. I mean – really? We could just… one day not have to worry about _any_ of the mutations?” He shook his head, sighing. “I want to believe it. I really do, but… if it was possible…”

“They would have come up with it by now,” Alec continued quietly.

Caleb nodded slowly. “Exactly.” His eyes lifted, then finally locking on Alec. “Except… most of the scientists are dead. Most of them were the very first victims. So… in a way… he might be onto something. If he’s stayed alive, working on it all this time…”

Alec’s eyes widened. “Then we might actually have a chance at winning our lives back,” he said breathlessly.

“Yeah. I hope so, anyway. I can’t… I can’t believe it’ll stay like this forever. If anyone could fix this… it’s Zeke.”

“He’s our only shot,” Alec agreed quietly.

The blonde nodded. “Yes, he is.”

“What can we do to help?”

_Anything to speed up this process._

One day he could be free of the mutations. He was still trying to wrap his head around that.

“Well, he said the first step is to make them stop getting smarter. Then we go from there.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Alright. Makes sense I guess.” He took in a breath. “So we just… wait for him to make the concoction or whatever?”

“That’s where it gets tricky.”

“Tricky? I don’t like tricky.”

“No one does,” Caleb sighed, shaking his head. “It’s not too bad, it’s just… he needs the necessary equipment and since meds aren’t in great supply these days, we need to find these specific herbs. They can have a sort of paralytic effect to them and can hinder the mutations’ thinking process.”

This was a lot to take in. Alec’s head spun.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Where do we start?”


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four: Intelligence

Chapter Thirty-Four: Intelligence

 

In all honesty, this lab wasn’t all it was promised to be. They only stayed there for two nights, catching up on sleep and eating regularly with the lab grown vegetables. They refilled their supplies and got ready to leave. Caleb, as the medic, was the best candidate at finding the correct herbs so he and Alec were put on the retrieval team. Spear was on the team as well, but Nixa and Fix were left behind to help Zeke make the preparations with what few components he had. Luka and Koda also accompanied the away team.

Fix wasn’t happy about this. Alec wouldn’t be happy if he was the left behind, after all, while Caleb went on the retrieval team. Fix tried to argue but Spear easily stopped him and pulled him aside, out of the room, to presumably have a conversation with him. The two returned a bit later and Fix begrudgingly agreed to stay behind.

They left the lab early in the morning, when the sun’s light barely peeked over the horizon. It was a mildly chilly morning, dew still covering the ground, but thankfully it didn’t look like it would rain soon. The quicker they did this, the better. Storms would only slow them down.

Zeke said the herbs probably weren’t more than a state or two away, a few days’ worth of walking, a week at the most. It was going to be a long journey there and back, but he hoped it’d be worth it. If they could finally get rid of even half of the mutations… then humanity might really stand a chance. They could focus on rebuilding instead of just surviving.

Alec tried not to get his hopes up, though; it would only hurt that much more when they were crushed. Even so, it was the first real hope of a future he’d had in a long time.

One day… they could be free of zephroes. The next step would be to get rid of the neutrohales, and they could rebuild the world. It would take a long time for things to ever get back to normal, maybe not even in Alec’s lifetime, but at least they had a chance now.

Spear and Caleb were both being fairly quiet. Alec wasn’t sure if it was because they were concentrating on finding these herbs, or because they couldn’t say what was on their minds because Luka was with them. Honestly they should have left him back at the lab and brought Nixa or Fix instead, but there was little they could do about it now. The guy was capable enough, even though he was mostly quiet. He had to be a better shot than Alec, after all.

They walked all day, stopping only in brief intervals to rest their legs before they started walking again. Spear and Caleb seemed to know where they were going, thankfully. Even though Alec had trekked back and forth through what was left of the US for years, that didn’t mean he knew where he was going. He’d mostly been wandering aimlessly, after all.

Until he met Caleb, of course.

They stopped for the night in what was left of a houseboat, sitting emptily on the edge of a small lake. After refilling their canteens, they headed inside to scope the place out. After confirming it was safe enough albeit creaky and dusty, they settled in for the night.

Alec put his things – including his goddamn _sword_ – down on what was left of a broken table and sat heavily on the tattered cushions of the small couch. Dust flew into the air around him, tickling his nose, leaving him sneezing. Caleb sat next to him while Spear went to scour the place out a little more, entering the bedroom. Luka sat quietly across the room, lightly scratching Koda behind the ear.

“Do you think this will really work?” Luka asked, expression hopeful.

Caleb shrugged. “I hope so. Zeke’s the best at this; if he thinks it will work, it will.”

_Just have to believe it, I guess._

Faith alone couldn’t change things, though. If it could, his family would still be alive. Silas would still be alive.

“Spear said your dad worked there?”

Caleb sighed, nodding. “Yes. He was a scientist. No, he wasn’t the brains of the operation. He helped repurpose it to suit a living being, specifically humans, though. Helped… transmit it.”

Alec watched Luka as Caleb spoke. The guy seemed to take it well enough, eventually giving into a slow, if somewhat confused, nod.

“It’s just… Sometimes I forget we did this to ourselves.”

Caleb nodded. “How old were you when…?”

“When we heard about it? I was eight.”

Alec blinked at him. The guy was only sixteen? Or seventeen? He was just a kid!

“That must have been rough,” Caleb said sympathetically.

Luka nodded. “It was, but… I had my uncle.”

There he stopped talking and went quiet, focusing entirely on Koda.

_Subject change, then._

“So you know where we’re going?” he asked the blonde.

Caleb glanced at him from where he sat next to him, nodding. “Kind of. I spent a lot of time in this lab, so…”

“Why’d you spend time there?” Luka asked almost absently, still mostly focused on the dog.

Caleb stiffened somewhat. Alec knew he didn’t mean to let that much slip. “My dad worked there – I saw the lab a few times, grew up around it.”

Alec knew that wasn’t necessarily true. Caleb once told him that they were stopping in his family’s basement, and he didn’t think that was anywhere around here. Perhaps they were close, though. Caleb’s dad used the mutation strain as a last resort for the blonde’s life, after all.

Luka nodded, accepting Caleb’s answer as Spear emerged from the back, smiling. “Alright,” he said. “You two lovebirds get the bed.”

Alec’s ears burned. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Caleb chuckled. “Thanks, Spear.”

Spear shrugged nonchalantly. “I know, I’m awesome. I’m gonna try to catch some fish if you guys are hungry.”

“At night time?” Alec asked, frowning.

“Sure – why not? Who knows when we’ll be next to a lake again?”

He had a point there. Besides, he was kind of getting tired of all the vegetables.

Spear disappeared out the door, onto the deck of the houseboat. Luka followed after him, Koda at his heels. Caleb got to his feet and nodded toward the bedroom, and the two of them walked back there and sat on the medium-sized bed. It had clearly seen better days but it was a bed, which was good enough for them.

Caleb yawned as he kicked off his shoes, dropping his satchel on the ground next to them. Alec removed his shoes as well, even though a lot of the time, they slept in them. The mutations, for some reason, couldn’t swim, though, so it was safe enough in the boat house. Plus the water helped mask their scent, which was always a plus.

“So you really think this will work?” he couldn’t help but ask, glancing at Caleb. It was hard to make out the blonde’s expression through the darkness. He was only able to vaguely see his outline.

“I think it’s worth giving a shot,” Caleb answered truthfully. “If nothing else… we can at least say we tried. That’s better than most.”

Alec nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. I hope this will all be over soon.”

“Yeah,” Caleb sighed, “me too, babe.”

 

The next night, they stopped in an abandoned building. It looked like it used to be a factory but neglect left it practically falling apart. It appeared stable enough, though, at least for one night. The group entered and quietly closed the large door behind them.

This was place was fairly large. It took a while to scout through the place, in groups of two, but eventually they declared it safe and settled in for the night. Alec and Caleb were in one of the large rooms while Luka and Spear were in another. Spear was currently teaching Luka a few ways to wield a blade. Alec kept forgetting how young the kid was. This wasn’t a life for anyone.

“Know what I miss?”

Alec glanced at the blonde, the words reminiscent of their time in the cells. “What’s that?”

The blonde sighed. “I miss being normal.”

“You are normal.”

Caleb glanced at him. The only light they had was the flickering of a small fire toward the middle of the room, casting odd shadows over that stubble-ridden jaw. “You and I both know I’m not. Not really.”

“Caleb…”

“I just… I miss being normal. But when I say that… I mean I miss _before_ the mutations. Before M-Day. Before…”

Alec nodded, swallowing thickly. “Before everything.”

“Yeah,” Caleb breathed, shaking his head. “But just because I miss it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

“It can happen. Zeke can make it happen.”

“Things won’t go back to normal in our lifetime, babe,” Caleb sighed, watching him. The glow of the fire left his eyes sparkling. “I’m sure you know that.”

“Yeah, but… But it will happen again.”

That was what mattered, right? And he would be very relieved if they got rid of the mutations and he didn’t have to worry about _fighting_ anymore.

“How much further until we get to these herbs?” he asked, changing the subject.

Caleb shrugged. “About two days, I think.”

“Why there?”

“I don’t know. I just know the lab used to use it as a sort of greenhouse. It should still be there. The herbs used to grow just outside of it.”

Alec nodded. “And they’re still there?”

“I hope so, babe. Otherwise we’re fighting a losing battle.”

Those were not words he wished to hear, but it was the truth. He at least appreciated the blonde’s honesty.

“Know what I miss?” Alec asked quietly, watching him.

Caleb’s gaze shifted back toward him. “Hmm?”

Alec leaned toward him, then, pressing his lips against the blonde’s. Caleb breathed out a laugh and Alec couldn’t help but grin.

 _Success_.

“You’re such a dork,” Caleb said.

“Yeah,” Alec sighed, “but I’m _your_ dork.”

“Yes, you are, babe,” the blonde said, leaning toward him again, their mouths connecting once more. Caleb threaded a hand through Alec’s hair, pulling him closer.

“I’m glad we started traveling together,” Alec said once they broke for air.

“Yeah,” Caleb breathed, smiling, “me too. Even if you were completely stubborn.”

“I wasn’t stubborn.”

“Oh? Sounds like it to me.”

Alec rolled his eyes even as a smile tugged at his lips. It had been a long time since he’d been able to just… relax and smile like this. And for the first time in a long time… he didn’t think about Silas.

He took a breath and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against the blonde’s. “When this is over…” He swallowed, licking his lips. “When this is over, we’re going to find a home somewhere.”

Just the two of them. Alec rather liked the sound of that. Just the two of them living together in a world which wasn’t run by mutations.

“Yes,” Caleb said, voice just as quiet as Alec’s, “we are, babe.”

“Promise we’ll both be there when it’s over?”

He wasn’t entirely sure where the question came from, but suddenly the answer meant everything.

“Promise, babe.”

 

Trouble came the next day.

_“Watch out!”_

Alec grunted as he was pushed to the side, a zephro slicing through where he previously stood. Caleb all but pinned him to the ground before he rolled off and sprang back to his feet, bringing up his pistol. The zephro dropped a moment later, two holes in its head.

There were a lot more, though.

Alec looked at the growing mass around them, fear clenching in his gut. Luka and Spear were off to the side, Koda angrily barking and growling at the mutations. Luka clumsily held a pistol similar to Caleb’s, while Spear held a blade. Alec himself hefted his sword.

The zephroes came out of nowhere. They’d been rounding a corner, walking down an old, cracked street, when suddenly Spear, Caleb and Koda all stopped walking, bodies stiffening. Koda then immediately began barking and growling and they turned just in time to see the large pack of zephroes moving to surround them.

And surround them they did.

Alec wasn’t sure how many they’d killed already but they just kept coming. He couldn’t even count them all with how fast they were moving, trying to kill them. These mutations were determined and well prepared. Their minds must have been enhancing for a while now.

Exhaustion was heavy in his bones and muscles when they managed to dwindle the zephroes down to six.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it.

It took him a moment to comprehend what he was seeing, but he _saw it_.

A zephro moved through the pack. Other zephroes stopped moving, then, allowing it to pass them by as it stepped closer to the center of the group, where Alec and the others stood pretty much back to back. This in and of itself was unusual behavior, and evidence of their evolving mental processes, but that wasn’t what caught the brunette’s attention.

It was _that_.

His goddamn _knife_.

Wrapped in the clawed hand of that zephro.

_They’re using fucking weapons now?!_

All he could do was stare at the blade for a long moment. Was this even really his blade? It looked like it. It looked a lot like it. The blade was simple yet also somewhat decorative, with a red line running down the curve of the blade. It hadn’t always been there, but after Silas’ death Alec found some paint and did that himself, reminding himself of what he did to his best friend.

And now that blade was being used by a goddamn _mutation_.

Everyone on the group seemed shocked. Koda growled and snarled and was held back only by Luka’s death grip on his red collar.

“Holy shit,” Caleb grunted. “Alec, isn’t that…?”

“Yes,” Alec choked, “it _is_. That’s my goddamn _knife_.”

“How is that even possible?” Luka growled.

“Does it matter?” Caleb snapped back. “Fucking kill it!”

This zephro must have been the leader, or alpha, of the pack. The others stood by and watched as it moved forward, toward them, jaws wide and unhinged, snarls ripping from its throat. Caleb shifted, then, a little closer to Alec, half standing in front of him, gun aimed at the alpha zephro.

He fired three times in quick succession.

The zephro was prepared for this, however, and lunged at him as he fired, ducking under the bullets, and before they knew it, Caleb was pinned to the ground, gun sliding across the ground as his grip faltered.

“Caleb!”

Alec swung with his sword but the zephro easily lifted his knife and blocked the blow, snarling at him as it did so. Caleb used that opportunity to kick the alpha off of him and roll away from it. He didn’t make it very far, though, as that alpha reached out with Alec’s blade and lunged.

Almost in slow motion, Alec watched in dawning horror as his knife tore through the flesh of Caleb’s back, slicing downward and to the side. By the time the knife left his skin there was blood everywhere, and Caleb collapsed, arms refusing to hold him up any longer.

The zephro moved toward him again and Alec growled and chased after it, swinging with his sword as Luka fired at the alpha and the zephro swung again at Caleb, who by this point had managed to roll onto his side, weakly reaching for his knife on his belt which he shakily pulled free.

It happened so fast.

Alec wasn’t even sure what happened at first.

His sword cut into the back of the zephro, leaving it howling as it veered away from Caleb and spun toward him. Luka fired again, catching the zephro in the side. And then Spear was there as well.

Alec swung again, and again, his blade tearing through the zephro. Spear came up behind it and stabbed it in the back of the head while it was distracted with Alec, and finally the mutation dropped.

In that same instant, the other mutations lunged toward them, snarling and growling and biting for all they were worth. One tackled Alec from behind, leaving him pinning as he struggled to roll over beneath the mutation. He managed to do so and reached for his fallen blade as the zephro snapped down at him.

A second later there were three quick shots and the zephro toppled off of him, dead, three holes in its head. Blood splattered Alec’s face as he quickly sat up, picking up his blade.

It was at that moment his gaze landed on Caleb.


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five: Promises

Chapter Thirty-Five: Promises

 

The blonde had managed to push himself into a sitting position, arm dropping back to his side from where he’d fired his pistol, saving Alec’s life. While Luka and Spear dealt with the remaining zephroes – which was three – Alec raced toward the fallen blonde, crashing to his knees next to him.

Caleb had managed to not only sit up but crawl far enough away so that he could lean against a wall, hands wrapped around his middle, blood slowly pooling beneath him. Alec’s knees were quickly soaked with the red substance, hands skimming gently up and down his sides, trying to feel for the wounds, see the extent of the damage.

“Caleb,” he breathed, reaching for the blonde’s hands. The blonde dropped the gun and allowed the brunette to move his hands, revealing blood gushing from his upper stomach and side. Alec also knew there was blood leaking from his back, too, from where that zephro stabbed him.

Stabbed him with _Alec’s knife_.

Alec wanted to get his knife back but not like this, dammit, never like this. As much as he loved his knife, he couldn’t even bring himself to look back at it for the time being, all his thoughts focused solely on the pale, bloody form in front of him, the only thing that mattered.

_Please don’t be bad._

There was already a lot of blood. How much could a person lose before…?

“Cal?” He moved one bloody hand from the blonde’s stomach to his face, lightly cupping his cheek with one hand, blood smearing in the wake of his fingers. “Caleb!”

Caleb’s eyes blinked slowly. “H-ey, babe…”

Alec removed his hand from Caleb’s face and brought it back down to his stomach, struggling to apply adequate pressure. “Fuck, Cal, this…”

“I… know,” Caleb murmured.

 

It was bad.

Alec could barely hear the snarls in the background as Luka and Spear fought the remaining zephroes. Koda’s barking was louder, it seemed.

But not as loud as Alec’s heart as it raced frantically in his chest.

_Oh, God, there’s so much blood…_

“Stay with me,” he breathed, pressing down harder. Caleb groaned but he didn’t stop. “Stay with me, you’ll be fine, stay with me.”

“B-abe…”

The blood wasn’t stopping. Where the knife tore through his vulnerable flesh gushed blood. Alec prayed it hadn’t hit an artery, but there was just so _much_ … The blonde’s breaths were shaky and thin, his face getting paler by the minute, the smeared blood standing out in stark contrast.

“Stay with me, Cal,” he whispered shakily.

_You gotta stay._

“Babe…” Caleb’s voice was apologetic, placating.

“Shh,” Alec said, looking around for Caleb’s satchel which held the medical supplies. He found it a few feet away, left forgotten at the start of the battle. “Cal, I’m gonna grab that bag, okay?”

“ ‘kay…”

“Stay with me, I’ll just be a second.”

Getting up was incredibly hard to do. Not just because of the soreness of his muscles but because it meant releasing that pressure and Caleb was losing that much more blood. Quickly he ran and grabbed the satchel, bringing it back to the blonde, crashing to his knees next to him again.

Caleb’s blinks were getting longer, slower.

Alec frantically tore open the satchel and pulled out bandaging.

Caleb’s bloody hand landed on his wrist and he looked back at the blonde, jaw clenching. Tired, dark green eyes watched him. “Babe… ‘s no good…”

“No,” Alec snapped. “You don’t get to make that call. You’re not fucking _dying_ on me!”

_Not like this, you bastard. Not because of my knife, because the zephro… No._

“You… sh-ould go,” Caleb breathed, grunting with the effort as Alec hurriedly pressed the bandaging to his middle, struggling to stop the bleeding. “More will… c-ome… Smell the blood…”

Alec shook his head. “I’m not leaving you, you bastard! So don’t…” His voice left him then, leaving him to swallow harshly around that lump in his throat as he watched Caleb’s eyes struggle to stay open, listened to his shaky breaths. “ So don’t leave _me_.”

_Don’t leave me._

Alec wasn’t sure when the sound of battle finally stopped but suddenly Spear was at his side, kneeling next to him and the bloody blonde.

“Help him,” Alec said, looking at him. “Help him, fix him, fix this!”

_Help him. Save him. Please._

“Go,” Caleb said breathlessly. “M-ore will… come…”

On some level, Alec knew this. He knew the scent of the blonde’s blood, the sounds of the gunshots, would draw more attention, but there was no way he could or would ever leave Caleb.

Spear’s hands pressed on the top of Alec’s, adding more pressure. Alec had never been more grateful in his life. Caleb groaned and tried to move away but was literally up against a wall with nowhere to move.

“Can I help?”

“Get a needle,” Spear calmly instructed.

How the fuck he could be so calm in a moment like this was beyond Alec.

Luka reached for Caleb’s satchel. After a moment, he pulled out a needle and some thread.

“Stitches?” Luka asked.

Caleb groaned, eyes opening somewhat. “F-ucking… really? Don’ waste-”

“You have no input,” Spear said. “Keep pressure on him, Alec. Those stab wounds in his middle and side are the worst.”

Like he actually had to tell Alec that. There was no way he was releasing even the slightest bit of pressure.

Spear released his own bit of pressure, reaching for the needle and thread.

“B-abe…”

He knew it was a struggle for Caleb to talk. The effort seemed to take more than he had left to give, and Alec wasn’t just worried – he was _terrified_ , because Caleb’s blood was squishing between his fingers and Alec felt his world slowly coming undone, unraveling at the seams.

Caleb couldn’t die, right?

He was a mutations, to an extent. He healed quickly. He could survive this. He’d been torn apart by zephroes and a neutrohale before and he lived. This was just a goddamn stabbing… with a knife of all things. _His_ knife. The blade with which Alec ended his best friend’s life, and now it was end-

“Caleb,” he all but choked, swallowing thickly as he clenched his eyes tightly closed. “You gotta help him, Spear.”

_You have to save him. Please._

He couldn’t do it again, damn it. Not by that same knife, not like this, not after everything they’d been through. For the first time since M-Day Alec was truly _happy_ and that was because of Caleb. Caleb helped him get past what he did to Silas, helped him open up again, helped him with so many things, and _no_ _not like this please help him stay with me_ -

Caleb’s fingers lightly grasped his wrist, fingers cold to the touch due to the loss of blood. His lips were also turning blue. And that light was leaving his eyes. That was what got to him – the glazed, glossy look, but not because of a fever this time. No, this was _death_ plain and simple and he could deny it all he wanted, but in the end-

“Stay,” he said, and if his voice was like shattered glass, he didn’t care. “Stay, stay, _stay_.”

_Stay with me. Stay here._

_Just stay._

“ ‘m sorry…”

_Why are you sorry, Cal?_

“Shh, it’s gonna be okay.”

It had to be, right?

It couldn’t _not_ be okay. They’d been through so much together, promised to be there at the end when these mutations were gone… promised to get a home together and live like normal people did before M-Day. They promised to have a _life_ together and now _this_ , with Alec’s knife.

_Not like this._

Spear ripped the blonde’s shirt open to get a better look at the wound. “ I’m going to do everything I can, Alec. Keep pressure on the side wound. I’m going to work on the stomach wound.”

Alec didn’t want to release _any_ of the pressure but he knew this was Caleb’s only chance. If Spear didn’t do this…

_Save him. Don’t let him die._

He shifted his hands toward the side. Spear began stitching up the stomach wound, blood slick and wet everywhere. Caleb hissed and tried to squirm away, throwing his head back into the wall.

“Keep him still,” Spear snapped.

“Cal, hey, it’s okay,” Alec said quietly, swallowing at the taut jawline filled with pain. “Look at me, Cal. _Look at me_.”

Exhausted green eyes landed on him. “B-abe…”

_Please don’t use that voice, Cal._

It was weak and thin and frail and everything Caleb _wasn’t_. It wasn’t _right_.

“I know,” he breathed. “I know it hurts but it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be fine, Cal, so just… stay with me.”

“ ‘m tired…”

“I know you are,” Alec said, swallowing thickly. “But don’t sleep.”

_Don’t sleep. Don’t you dare._

“ ‘m sorry…”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Cal,” he said, trying to be as soothing as possible. Caleb deserved at least that much comfort. “Just stay awake.”

“Spear…” Caleb coughed, groaning as he did so, the simple act leaving his body trembling with the effort. “One of u-us h-as to… m-ake it…”

_What’s that even mean, Cal?_

“Spear? What’s he talking about?”

“Nothing, Alec,” Spear said. “Focus on the blood gushing out of your boyfriend. Don’t get sidetracked.”

Alec nodded because the only thing that mattered was Caleb, keeping the blonde _alive_.

He couldn’t believe it’d gone to hell so goddamn _fast_. They knew this journey wouldn’t be easy but _this_ … He never expected _this_. Those zephroes came out of nowhere and suddenly Caleb was hurt, stabbed by a zephro of all things. When one thought about a zephro they pictured death by infection because of their bites, or death by sharp claws.

Never _knives_.

“S-pear…” Caleb’s voice was soft and rough, but he still struggled to push the words out of unwilling blue-tinged lips. “You gotta g-go.” His gaze shifted back toward Alec, who was forever frozen in that desperate stare. “Babe, _please_ …”

The broken, tired _please_ left a sob wrenching free of Alec’s chest, his eyes stinging, the steel bands around his lungs and heart making it surprisingly hard to breathe.

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

“You promised,” Alec said shakily. “You promised, Cal – you said you’d be here when this was over!”

“Babe… ‘m _sorry_.” The regret rang prominent in his voice, in the contorted expression mixed with pain.

“You promised, Cal, remember?”

He said he’d be there with Alec when this was all over. He couldn’t… not like this.

“Can’t you work any faster?” Alec growled, glancing quickly at Spear.

“Just keep the pressure on him!” Spear snapped back.

Luka hung awkwardly in the background. Alec didn’t give a damn about him, though, because all that mattered was Caleb. He looked back down at the blonde and found those dark, glossy green eyes watching him, an almost serene, _peaceful_ look on his face, in the ghost of a smile on his lips, the slackening of that pained expression.

“You… know I…”

_No. Stop slurring. Don’t say it like that. Please._

“I know,” Alec breathed, swallowing thickly, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gave the blonde a frail smile. He knew what Caleb was trying to say but to hear it right now… He knew he’d break down. “I know, Cal. So you gotta stay with me, okay? Caleb?”

“ ‘m… so t-ired, babe…”

“Please, Cal, _stay with me_. You _promised_.”

“Babe, I…”

“Don’t go, Cal.”

_Please don’t go. Don’t leave._

In the year they’d known each other, they became so _close_. He changed Alec’s whole perspective, his outlook on life, because his first friend since Silas… became his boyfriend…

Memories of the two of them in bed before Spear woke up and they left the village to go to the lab. Memories of Caleb’s smile and his lips on Alec’s, kisses trailing down the length of his body, how _happy_ he felt…

His fingers curled somewhat, pinching skin, blood forever staining his hands.

Spear slapped Alec’s hands out of the way, done with the stomach wound. It took everything he had to pull away, release that last bit of pressure he was providing, as he let Spear get to work. This was for Caleb, after all. This was to _save him_.

“You should… g-go.”

“Not going anywhere,” Alec said quietly, bringing one of his hands up to brush back those bangs which clung to the blonde’s sweaty forehead. The blood on his fingers darkened the color somewhat, smearing against Caleb’s forehead.

“Know w-what… I m-iss?”

Alec’s swallow was more like a gulp at this point, hand freezing in Caleb’s hair, the conversation so familiar and yet so _wrong_. “What’s that, Cal?” he couldn’t help but ask, because it was routine and simple and easy and everything this situation wasn’t right now.

“Y-You,” Caleb breathed. “M-iss y-you… a-already…”

“I’m here, Cal. I’m not going anywhere.” He took in a breath, shaky though it was. “And neither are you, do you hear me? Spear, how’s it going?”

“Almost done.”

“ ‘m sorry…”

“Why? Why are you apologizing?”

“B-Broke m… my pr-omise…”

The stinging in Alec’s eyes grew worse. “Caleb, _please_.”

“ ‘s okay,” Caleb breathed, voice heavy with exhaustion more than anything. “D-Doesn’t h-urt… anymore…”

“Caleb, _no._ ”

Green eyes blinked once, twice, and then closed.


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six: Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter. It sucks. No, I'm not going to fix it. Not yet.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Compromise

 

Exhaustion had set in long ago but he continued to ignore it. Sleep meant taking his eyes off Caleb, meant not keeping him safe and _alive_ and that was simply not something he was going to risk. Spear stitched up the wounds but he still lost a lot of blood. They had no way of replenishing it, either, for they didn’t have the equipment. All they had were stitches and bandages. Even though the wounds were stitched, bandages were still wound around the blonde’s middle, further keeping those injuries from reopening or becoming infected.

Currently he and Caleb were in the basement of a rundown home, the door shut, locked, and they also pushed a few things in front of it to keep the mutations out. It might work, or might not, but either way they couldn’t make Caleb travel. He was already unstable as it was, having lost so much blood. He was constantly cold to the touch and his lips always seemed so blue now. The pallor of his face made the dark rings around his eyes that much more noticeable.

For the sake of humanity, they couldn’t abandon their mission entirely, even though all Alec cared about right now was the blonde’s health, so a compromise of sorts was reached. Alec was to stay with Caleb and tend to his wounds and everything, while Spear and Luka traveled the rest of the way to get the herbs. They’d meet back up here in a few days and journey back to the lab.

Alec was happy he got to stay with Caleb – nothing could have pulled him away, though – but also worried because he wasn’t a medic. He had no medical training except to apply pressure to wounds and whatnot. Thankfully Spear gave him a few quick pointers for keeping Caleb alive for a few days, but he couldn’t really be helped until they got back to the lab. Only Zeke would have the necessary equipment to really help him. Until then, Alec had to try to keep him alive long enough for them to get back to the lab.

The odds weren’t in Caleb’s favor, Spear told him. Too much blood loss was a severe shock to the system. Organs began shutting down, his heart had to work overtime to even attempt to resupply the body…

It was a mess, really.

Spear told him Caleb’s odds of survival were 30/70, with most of it leaning toward the latter number, _death_.

Caleb had already stopped breathing on them once already. Alec wasn’t sure how Spear remained so calm during that situation, but in the end he got him back by doing CPR. A temporary measure, though, because the blood loss was still too great. His body couldn’t function properly without more. It would be a while before it replenished naturally, if that even happened.

Alec was almost glad Caleb hadn’t woken since it happened, because at least this way he couldn’t feel the pain of his body shutting down. He couldn’t feel the pain of being only barely alive.

Alec would take barely alive over dead any day, though. And he’d keep an eye on Caleb, keep him safe and alive, and they would all go back to the lab and really help him. Traveling with him wouldn’t be easy but it was necessary. They’d find some way to do it; they’d managed to bring him this far, after all.

They weren’t in the same town. Caleb was right when he said it would attract more. They quickly left that place as soon as Caleb was stable enough to move, or as stable as he was going to get, according to Spear. Together they hauled the limp blonde between them and eventually made it here, where they parted ways. They left Alec his sword and a pistol, as well as the black lab, Koda. Koda was currently curled into Caleb’s side, seemingly trying to keep him warm.

Caleb healed quickly. Alec knew this. But there was a difference between physically healing and regaining lost blood. He had no doubt that the blonde was only alive right now because of his healing abilities, and that was partially why Spear took Luka with him – so he wouldn’t see the healing. Already, when Alec changed the bandaging, the wounds weren’t looking nearly as raw or deep but there was still the matter of the lost blood. There were some things quick healing couldn’t fix.

He healed before, though – back when they first came across Spear, Fix and Nixa. He healed then, and he’d lost a lot of blood then, too. Why was now any different? Hadn’t he been more hurt then than now? But maybe these stab wounds went in deeper – there had certainly been a lot of blood. Plus, Alec hadn’t been awake when Spear found them, hadn’t been aware of the blonde healing. In the end Alec was the one with an infection and became the worst off of the two, somehow.

But he healed then. He was _fine_.

Now, though…

It was different. Alec knew that, though he wasn’t sure why. Why wasn’t he healing like that now? Spear seemed confident that this was different; he would only truly be okay when they got back to the lab and he could get proper care and treatment. He never said why, just that it was Caleb’s only chance. According to him, the blade did manage to hit an artery. Yes, he stitched everything closed but he’d still lost too much blood. Plus he’d been crawling through the dirt, which left his wounds dirtied and infected.

Alec knew this. While the rest of the blonde was ice, his face was flushed somewhat with a fever, his weakened body struggling to fight it. Perhaps that was why this was different – he hadn’t just lost the blood, he was sick too.

And Alec was useless in helping him.

Even so he stayed by Caleb’s side. He didn’t expect the blonde to wake yet, but suddenly his brows were furrowing together and Alec hovered over him, hand firm on the bare shoulder beneath his grip.

“Caleb?”

Green eyes opened but only just. They stared at Alec for a long moment before they widened in surprise. “I’m… alive?”

“Please don’t sound so shocked,” Alec said, shaking his head as he released a slow, quiet breath. “You almost died on me, Cal.”

“Sorry…” The blonde shivered, muscles quivering beneath Alec’s hold. “It’s freezing.”

“No,” Alec said sadly, “it’s not. You lost a lot of blood. You’re also running a bit of a fever. Got an infection from crawling through the dirt.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, Cal.”

Caleb released a slow breath. “Try not to, babe. Are you okay?”

“Am I…? I’ll be fine as long as you don’t do that again. Jesus, Caleb.”

“I’m sorry…”

Alec shook his head. “No. It’s… It’s okay. I mean, it’s _not_ , but… it wasn’t your fault.”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Spear and Luka went to get those herbs.”

“Alone?” His eyes widened and he struggled to sit up even as Alec pinned him to the ground, growling under his breath.

“Don’t move,” he growled. “Don’t fucking _move_. Yes, they went alone. We were almost there anyway, right? They’ll meet us back here when they’re done and we’ll all go back to the lab.”

“You split up because of me?”

“Caleb. Stop.”

He was blaming himself and Alec wouldn’t allow it.

“Babe-”

“No. I mean it. Just… don’t. What happened, happened. Nothing is going to change that so just… focus on getting better.”

He didn’t mention how Caleb stopped breathing on them once. Didn’t mention how it felt like an eternity before the CPR finally worked. Didn’t mention how it felt like _he_ was the one to stop breathing instead.

Instead he entwined their fingers and held on as tightly as he could.


	37. Chapter Thirty-Seven: Potential Mistakes

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Potential Mistakes

 

Alec was happy to find that, a few days later, Caleb actually _did_ look a little better. The fever wasn’t in contrast with the pale skin, since he’d regained a little of his color. His skin wasn’t as icy to the touch. Despite what Spear said, he seemed to be healing okay on his own, except it was going to take a while before his body naturally replenished the lost blood, which was a while he was susceptible to infection and attack.

Alec wouldn’t let anything happen to him, though. Thus far it had been pretty quiet down here in the basement. Occasionally Koda would pace back and forth or raise his hackles, growling, but the moment passed and he easily curled up into Caleb’s side once again, going back to sleep.

For the most part, things seemed to be going okay for the time being. Caleb certainly wasn’t any worse than before, but he didn’t exactly seem to be getting _better_ , either. Sure, his wounds seemed to be healing okay, looking less prominent and less deep each time Alec changed the bandages, and the blonde was at least waking for brief intervals, but he was still too pale and couldn’t stay awake very long. He was still cold though not freezing like before, but still rarely awake and not like he _should_ be.

Then again, none of this should have ever _happened_. Mutations shouldn’t have been able to use weapons! And they certainly shouldn’t have gotten their claws on his _knife_ , but somehow they did. Because he stabbed a zephro once, so long ago, and lost his knife that way. Now he had it back but couldn’t even bring himself to look at it, packed away at the bottom of his satchel, out of sight but definitely not out of mind.

Once upon a time he would have been _thrilled_ to see his knife again. He would have been incredibly happy because that was his last connection to a life he used to know. But that was then…

And now, he had a life he liked. Sure, he didn’t like living in a world with these mutations, but at least he wasn’t alone anymore. Caleb was everything he needed but had never been searching for, and that knife threatened to take it all away. Perhaps he was being hard on himself because of course there was no way for him to know his knife would ever be used like this, but still, somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice whispered that he got what he wanted. He got his knife back.

Except he never meant like _this_.

_Just get better, Caleb. Hurry back, guys._

 

Days came and went and still Spear and Luka did not return.

Caleb was waking more frequently but he was also coughing a lot now, body no longer so cold but getting rather hot instead, face seemingly forever flushed as he lay there shivering for reasons other than the blood loss. He was supposed to have a good immune system; why was this happening?

Alec had no idea what to do or how to help him. Entirely out of his depth, he sat next to Caleb most of the time, the blonde’s head cradled in his lap, Koda curled into his side like some comforting blanket.

“Babe?”

Alec swallowed, looking down at the barely parted green eyes watching him. “Hey, Cal,” he said quietly. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Caleb sighed. “Where’s…?”

“They’re not back yet.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. “How long has it been?”

“I don’t know. A few days.”

He was guessing it had actually been about a week, though he wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew was that it was too long. They’d been close to where those herbs were, right? So why was it taking so long?

Caleb struggled to sit up. Alec wrapped his arms around him, pulling the blonde toward him, keeping him from moving too much. “Don’t move,” he said. “You’re sick and not better yet.”

In fact, he was looking worse…

“I’ll be fine,” Caleb said. “We need to find the others.”

“We’re not going anywhere,” Alec said, shaking his head. “You almost died, remember? And I have no idea how to… to make you _better_.”

The blonde’s expression softened somewhat as he looked up at him. “Babe… I’ll be fine. Okay?”

_That’s not what you said before, Cal…_

Except Alec said nothing, instead swallowing thickly and nodding. It was easier to believe those words than it was to question them, because he wanted Caleb to be _okay_. He wanted him to get better, wanted things to go back to _normal_ … except he had no idea how to make that happen. He was useless in this situation, completely out of his depth and Caleb’s fever kept getting _worse_.

His eyes were glazed again, not with blood loss but with his fever. Perhaps this was what Spear meant when he said getting back to the lab was the only way to really save him. Perhaps he knew that, while his body struggled to replenish his blood, an infection raged through him and his body could only do so much. His immune system could only handle so much at once, and this appeared to be a little _too much_ …

“We should look for them.”

“What?” Alec shook his head, unconsciously tightening his hold on the blonde, arms wound around his middle, careful of his still healing injuries. Heat radiated from the too-warm body. “No. You’re sick, and… No. They’ll be back soon, Caleb. Give it time.”

Caleb had a coughing fit, then, effectively ending the argument. Alec eyed the little water they had left even as he held the canteen to the blonde’s chapped and dry lips. He’d have to leave on his own, soon, and get more water and maybe some food if he could catch some fish. Starting a fire while down here could be problematic, though. They’d need to eat soon, though, and they were nearly out of food. Out of _everything_ , really, including bandages.

Spear and Luka had been gone too long. They should have been back by now.

Not that he’d tell Caleb that, though. He didn’t want the blonde forcing himself to get up and look for them, like Alec knew he would when he found out how long it had really been. For the time being he would lie if it meant keeping Caleb calm, kept him relaxing and resting and _healing_.

He’d give it a few more days.

 

Alec hated sneaking out later that night, leaving Koda curled into Caleb’s shivering side. They needed water at the very least, though. He took both his and Caleb’s canteens and snuck out of the house, sword held lightly in his grasp. He left the pistol with the blonde because he himself was still a horrible shot and the gunfire would only attract unwanted attention. Koda seemed calmed enough for the time being so Alec assumed it was safe enough to venture toward the river a few blocks away.

The night was chilly but not freezing, thankfully. Rain sprinkled from the sky and Alec quickened his pace, hoping to get back to Caleb before it started really raining. Plus he needed to hurry and get back to him so he could put those things back in front of the door and keep him safe. As it was he tried to hurry so he wouldn’t be gone too long, wouldn’t leave him unprotected for too long. For now he’d have to hope Koda would be protection enough until he got back.

He hated leaving Caleb alone but he was sick and needed the water.

He finally made it to the small river and slid down the embankment, keeping his feet just barely out of the water as he knelt down, dipping the canteens into the small waves. Meanwhile he tried to keep an ear out for anything out of the ordinary. If he was attacked he wouldn’t lead them back to Caleb. If he didn’t make it back… he hoped Caleb would be okay, and would forgive him.

He’d fight tooth and nail to get back, though.

_C’mon. Fill up faster, dammit._

Finally the canteens were full. He screwed the caps on and turned, climbing up the embankment as rain dripped more heavily from the sky. He hurried back in the direction of the house they’d been staying in for the time being.

He was halfway there when he heard a growl behind him. Spine stiffening, he spun and darted away in the same movement, dropping his satchel to the ground as he hefted his sword. He spotted two zephroes standing not too far away, clearly searching for something but thus far it didn't look like they’d noticed him. Swallowing thickly, he stepped behind a tree, taking quick, quiet breaths as he tried to think of what to do.

He couldn’t lead them back to Caleb.

But where there were two, there were probably more since they seemed to be in actual _packs_ now. He only saw two at the moment so he would, for the time being, focus only on them. He’d have to kill them if he wanted to get back to Caleb without leading them to him. The blonde was sick and weakened enough as it was – there was no way he could fight in his condition.

He tried to calm himself but couldn’t help the way his heart raced in his chest when he heard the zephroes moving closer. It was like they knew something, someone, was here but weren’t sure where and he was thankful for the rain, the way it helped mask his scent. He couldn’t rely on that with Caleb, though. He wouldn’t chance it, wouldn’t risk leading them to him.

He chanced a peek around the tree and found a zephro passing by his dropped satchel, sniffing at it, a clawed hand reaching out to pick it up. The other zephro stood at its side, sniffing at it as well. Alec took in a deep breath and then, seeing his chance, lunged out from behind the tree, swinging his sword for all he was worth. He felt it the moment the blade made contact with a solid body, heard the sound of it slicing through flesh, and opened his eyes to find the zephro veering away from him, screeching as its discolored blood splattered the ground beneath it, including Alec’s satchel, which it dropped.

Both the zephroes looked at him and in the same instant, lunged toward him. He swung his blade again, managing to catch one of them in the neck, nearly severing its head even as the second zephro veered around its fallen comrade, gaze focused on Alec. In the next second the brunette was tackled, clawed hands stabbing into his shoulders and he couldn’t stop the groan that escaped him as pain seared through his arms and into his neck, the zephro’s dark eyes watching his face. Jaws unhinged and snapped downward, toward his neck. Instinctively he brought his sword up, jabbing it into the zephro’s side, muscles still able to grasp and swing despite the pain in his shoulders. The zephro snapped at his face as it was jerked away from him due to the sword’s momentum, and it rolled off of him as Alec swiftly rolled in the opposite direction, jumping to his feet.

The zephro snarled at him, hunching over its fallen companion. Alec took in a few deep breaths, struggling to keep his grip on the sword from shaking, because if he didn’t make it back to Caleb…

Caleb was in no condition to be alone. He came out here for the water, to help him. He had to get back to him. If he failed and died here, Caleb would die, too, and he couldn’t let that happen.

_C’mon, Alec. You can do this. For Caleb._

He swallowed a breath of air and lunged toward the zephro. A clawed hand slashed out at him, the mutation snarling as it lunged toward him as well. Alec ducked under the oncoming attack and lashed out with his sword. The zephro easily dodged the blow and used Alec’s momentum against him, sidestepping him and clawing at him all in one movement. Those sharp claws caught him in the side and he tumbled to the ground, rolling to a halt a few feet away, sword clattering out of his grasp, his grip slick with blood and rain.

He bit down _hard_ on his bottom lip to keep from crying out as he wrapped an arm around his middle, swallowing deep gasps of air, struggling to ignore the pain as he looked up at the zephro. The creature sniffed the air and seemed to _smile_ before it jumped toward him, ready to deal the final blow.

_No!_

Alec scrambled for his sword as thunder clapped overhead. The sound drowned out his yell as his fingers clasped the hilt and swung, clenching his eyes tightly closed for fear he was entirely too late or off with his jab. The heavy feeling tugged at the sword and he opened his eyes to find the zephro impaled. It snarled and looked down at the sword sticking out of its stomach and also protruding from its back, and Alec struggled out from beneath the mutation.

Clawed hands swung at him and he twisted the sword in his grip, turning it in the mutation’s stomach. It howled and raged against the pain. Alec yanked the sword from the zephro’s flesh and staggered back a step, sucking in a deep breath of air, his grip slick with blood and rain, his arms tired from the pain in his shoulders, his side ablaze. He had to end this, though.

_For Caleb._

While the mutation continued to bleed and howl, perhaps calling for reinforcements, Alec stepped forward and swung his sword.

A second later the zephro dropped to the ground, silent and dead.

Alec stared down at the dead body, relief coursing through him. The adrenaline began to wear off and the aches and pains became that much more prominent, and he groaned as he lifted his satchel, slung it over his shoulder, and turned in the direction of the house.

He prayed the rain would mask the scent of his blood. He prayed these were the only zephroes in the area. He prayed he wasn’t leading them back to Caleb, but he had nowhere else to go and he’d been away longer than he’d wanted in the first place.

_What if they got Caleb first…_

The thought occurred unbidden but suddenly it was all he could think about. Eyes widening, he quickened his pace despite the pain, and nearly fell to his knees with disbelief when he found the front door to the house broken down, clawed to wooden shreds.

_Oh, God. No._

“Caleb,” he breathed, stepping over the fallen pieces, heart in his throat, pain forgotten.

_Oh God, please, no. I’m sorry I left, please, you gotta be okay…_

He’d never forgive himself if Caleb was attacked while he was away, if he left the blonde alone and defenseless. He left only because they needed water. He thought Caleb would be _safe_ , with Koda. He didn’t plan on being gone long – he didn’t plan on being attacked. He didn’t plan on zephroes being in the area.

_No. No. No._

Each step he took was another notch of dread, adding to that knot in his stomach. He found the basement door, hidden behind a dresser which he’d tried to move in front of it. The dresser in question was broken, smashed to pieces, the basement door torn open.

“ _No_ ,” he choked, dropping his sword and satchel to the ground as he all but ran down the steps. “ _Caleb_!”

“Babe.”

The voice was quiet, faint and weak, but _there_ and Alec could finally _breathe_ again. Taking shaky breaths he squinted through the darkness and found Caleb leaning against the wall on the far side of the room, Koda growling as he stood in front of him. So focused on the blonde, he nearly tripped over the dead zephro on the ground. He scrambled around it and crashed to his knees next to Caleb, reaching out toward him, feeling up and down his sides but everything seemed okay, the bandages still intact.

“You’re okay,” he breathed, swallowing thickly. “You’re _okay_.”

“Where were you?”

“Oh, God, I’m _sorry_ , I went to get water, Caleb… I didn’t think… Oh, God, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

Caleb was okay, he was alive. He killed the zephro. Without thinking, Alec pulled the blonde toward him, instead of wincing at the fevered heat instead relishing in it because he was _alive_.

“You’re hurt,” Caleb said, frown evident in his voice.

And just like that, the pain became prominent again, the adrenaline, the _fear_ , once again leaving him. Exhaustion weighed heavy in his limbs and everything ached, but they were okay. They were both alive despite the fact Alec messed up and left the blonde alone.

“You killed it.”

Caleb nodded against Alec’s neck, where the brunette was still holding him against his chest. “Babe? How hurt are you?”

“You’re okay…”

Caleb was fine, he was okay and _safe_. Except it wasn’t safe. Not here, not anymore. The adrenaline pumped back through his system, allowing him to once again ignore the pain.

“We gotta get out of here, Cal. It’s not safe.”

“Babe, how hurt are you?”

“We gotta find somewhere else to stay. We-”

“ _Alec_ ,” Caleb all but hissed, and Alec snapped his mouth shut. “How hurt are you?”

“My… My side. Shoulders.” He shook his head, swallowing. “I’ll… I’ll be okay, I just… _fuck_ … I left you alone, Caleb. I’m so fucking _sorry_ …”

“Babe, I’m okay.”

Except he _wasn’t_ , because his skin was still too hot. Wasn’t okay, because Alec left him _alone_ and zephroes found him. They were in the area, they broke down their defenses and it wasn’t _safe_ here anymore.

Caleb was his first priority. Keeping him safe, getting him out of here alive. Caleb’s life had been left in Alec’s hands while Spear and Luka went to get those herbs, and he didn’t plan on failing the blonde now. He wasn’t going to let him out of his sight again. He wasn’t going to be so damn careless again.

“We gotta get out of here.”

“Let me bandage you first.”

Alec shook his head. “No, we gotta… we… We’re almost out of bandages.”

“We have enough to bandage you… right?”

Alec nodded slowly. “Yeah, but-”

“We’ll leave just as soon as I make sure you don’t bleed out, babe,” Caleb said, lightly pulling away from him.

Alec swallowed and nodded, reaching toward Caleb’s satchel which sat next to them on the ground. Koda walked toward them, sniffing at Alec’s hand until he raised it and scratched the dog behind the ear.

“He woke me up,” the blonde said quietly, digging through his satchel.

“Oh?” Alec licked his lips, swallowing again. That lump in his throat never seemed to go away.

“Yeah. Lured it away, too.”

“Good boy,” Alec breathed, scratching behind the dog’s ear again.

Koda’s pink tongue licked at his hand and he smiled faintly even as Caleb tugged lightly at his shirt. Groaning, he shifted just enough that Caleb could help him get his shirt off. The pain reignited through him, the adrenaline once again leaving him, and he leaned heavily against the wall.

Caleb’s fingers easily slid across the stubble on his face, gentle turning his head toward him. “This might hurt, babe.”

“ ‘s okay,” he sighed.

_At least you’re okay. Fuck. I’m sorry._

He wouldn’t ever leave him alone again.


	38. Chapter Thirty-Eight: Out of the Frying Pan

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Out of the Frying Pan

 

Traveling proved to be rather difficult, as Alec knew it would be, but for entirely different reasons now. Before he knew it would be difficult because Caleb was hurt and wasn’t really in any condition to travel, but now he himself was hurt as well. The two made for an awkward pair, both leaning against each other, Caleb struggling to swallow down his coughs, skin ablaze with his fever, while Alec simply tried to keep from favoring his injured side too much. Despite his injuries he had Caleb’s arm slung around his shoulder, his own arm wrapped around the blonde’s waist, helping him stay upright. Koda walked loyally by Caleb’s side.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been walking. They’d left as soon as the sun started to rise, once Alec was bandaged and Caleb got a few hours of sleep before they left. Alec himself was exhausted but refused to allow himself to sleep because he wouldn’t fail Caleb again. He’d keep guard because it was his stupid mistake, his fault Caleb was left alone in the first place. If it hadn’t been for Koda waking him up…

But he couldn’t think about that because it didn’t happen. Caleb was okay. They were both okay, and they were traveling to a safer place. He wasn’t sure how far they walked until they made it to the next town, but it had to be near midday before they arrived. The two collapsed next to a river, Alec moving to refill their canteens, having drank more water than he thought they would on the way here, but they were both tired and hurt.

Koda happily lapped away at the water, tail wagging. Finally Alec made it back to Caleb’s side and sat next to him, releasing a heavy breath, more exhausted than he thought he’d be but he, too, was injured. Despite this he insisted on carrying all of their supplies, including the two satchels and his sword even though Caleb tried to argue with him. He was unrelenting in the matter, though, and eventually Caleb gave up the fight.

It was Alec’s fault, after all. His fault the blonde had even been in danger, his fault that zephro had his knife…

That knife he hadn’t been able to look at since he got it back. He left it in the hands of a monster and that monster learned how to use it against them. Against Caleb. And then he left him alone so he could… what? Get water? It seemed so stupid now. At the time it was important, important to keep Caleb hydrated, but now…

It wasn’t worth the risk. He should have been there. Koda shouldn’t have had to wake Caleb so the blonde could kill the zephro in his weakened state. He should have been there but he wasn’t.

“Babe.”

Alec blinked and looked at the blonde, who was watching him carefully. “What? You okay?” He shifted a little closer.

“I’m okay,” Caleb said. “But you should stop blaming yourself.”

“What? I-”

“Babe.”

Alec swallowed thickly, sighing heavily. “I’m _sorry_. I should have been there… I left you _alone_ …”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Alec said, shaking his head. “You could have been… You could have been killed.”

And that was _not_ okay. He could have been killed and it would have been all his _fault_ …

“Babe, it’s _okay_ ,” Caleb said quietly, hand coming to rest atop Alec’s wrist. His fingers twitched instinctively, hand turning enough that he caught that hand with his own, entwining their fingers, squeezing lightly. The returning squeeze was more calming than any words could have been.

For a long moment the two sat there like that, a calm silence surrounding them, Koda padding over to sit in front of them, practically sitting on their legs. In that moment his worries faded away. He wasn’t worried about what might have happened and what could have happened because it _didn’t_ happen and Caleb was okay. It was going to be harder for Luka and Spear to find them but they’d work through it when they got to that bridge. At the moment, though, it was just the two of them in this easy silence and that was all they needed.

Eventually he did pull away, though, because they couldn’t stay here. They had to keep moving, had to find a safe place to stay. He lifted the satchels and his sword with one hand and reached toward the blonde with the other, pulling Caleb to his feet. He kept a tight hold on that hand and wound his arm around his shoulders, forcing the blonde to lean against him. He was partially selfish with his reasons for this, he knew, but that was okay because it was ultimately for Caleb’s benefit, not his own. Koda happily trotted along next to them as they left the riverbank and continued further into town.

They made it to a large house. The front door was not intact but it was close to the river in case they needed more water later. Alec didn’t want to leave Caleb again and at least this way, if they really needed it, he could take the blonde with him. A lot of the other houses in town were torn down due to the weather and whatnot, since they were getting close to Tornado Alley. That meant they had basements, though. They made their way through the house until they find the basement door still intact, thankfully. It was a thick type of wood, too, which Alec found himself relieved to see. He led the way down into the waiting darkness, where he carefully sat the two of them down before opening his satchel, pulling out some matches he’d gotten from the lab before they left. He hadn’t really had cause to use them yet but now he lit a few and looked around the spacious basement. It was dusty, of course, but otherwise it appeared empty and _safe_ , which was the main concern.

A few minutes later they were settled in the darkness which what little he could find pushed into the doorway up the stairs, somewhat balanced. He intended to stay awake, though, and listen for any signs of trouble, sword held lightly in his grasp, Caleb situated on his left, his free hand resting comfortably on the blonde’s shoulder. Caleb sighed and reached for his satchel, leaving Alec frowning through the darkness, thankful his vision had adapted if only slightly.

It’d had to do so over the years, after all.

“What are you…?”

“We have a few bandages left,” Caleb said. “I should change your bandaging.” He pulled said bandages out of the satchel and slid back toward Alec, who was already shaking his head.

“No – I should change _yours_ ,” he said, because that made more sense.

“Babe. I’m okay.”

“Caleb-”

“Don’t argue with me,” Caleb sighed tiredly. “Just let me help you. Who is the medic here?”

“You, but-”

“Exactly.”

Fingers lightly grasped at his shirt.

“No. Caleb – stop.” His grip on his sword loosened and he moved his hands to grasp at Caleb’s, stopping their little progress. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Stop.”

Caleb huffed. “I’m not an invalid, you know. I’m _fine_.”

“You’re not!” Alec snapped, glaring through the darkness at the blonde’s face which was surprisingly close to his own. Caleb remained silent. “You’re not okay, Cal. You’re sick. And Spear left me in charge of your fucking _life_ and you’re _not okay_ …”

There was a moment of silence before Caleb sighed and tore his hands out of Alec’s grip, grasping at his shirt again, lifting. “Are you done?”

“Caleb-”

“You’re not winning this argument,” Caleb snapped. “My wounds are _healing_ , I’m _fine_. You, on the other hand… Just let me help.”

Alec sighed. He wasn’t sure why he finally stopped fighting the blonde, but he knew arguing wasn’t good for him. Caleb’s wounds were healing, this was true, but he was still sick with infection, no matter how strong and stubborn his voice was right now. That was why they needed to get back to the lab, why Spear and Luka needed to hurry back… even though they wouldn’t know where to find them now…

Alec carved a message into the wooden support beams of the basement they left but whether or not they would see it was anyone’s guess. It was also surprisingly hard to carve a message with his sword. His knife would have been better suited for the job but _no_. He couldn’t even look at it right now…

A few minutes later he was bandaged and Caleb all but collapsed against him, exhausted and hot with his fever. His arm slid around the weakened frame and held the warm body close to him, swallowing as he leaned his head backward against the wall.

_Hurry and find us, Spear._

 

Time passed.

He stayed in the basement with Caleb. There was no ‘night’ or ‘day’ in the darkness of the basement, the two of them pretty much simply resting and waiting in silence. Waiting for _what_ was anyone’s guess. He hoped Spear and Luka would find them but the chances of that happening were slim to none. For all he knew they were dead and he and Caleb were on their own.

He didn’t know the way back to the lab. Caleb probably did but he was in no condition to travel or lead the way in doing so. Alec hoped the blonde got better soon, that this was only temporary and his fever would die down and he’d continue to heal. Spear seemed certain that would not be the case, though, before he left. But he wasn’t here anymore and he obviously hadn’t expected to be gone this long.

Caleb was getting restless. He kept mentioning the others and how they should go look for them but Alec refused to let the blonde even get up unless it was to use the bathroom or stretch his legs. He still had a fever, still felt too hot to the touch and Alec himself wasn’t feeling too great, his healing wounds feeling more itchy and sore than anything else at the moment.

He was certain the only reason Caleb hadn’t forced his way out of the basement to look for the others was because Alec himself was injured. The blonde’s sense of friendship, loyalty and duty kept him glued to Alec’s side for the same reasons Alec couldn’t and wouldn’t be leaving the blonde’s side any time soon.

He wanted to find the others and get back to the lab with those herbs. He wanted to help get rid of these zephroes and eventually the neutrohales as well, but for the time being he was weak and useless here in the basement. He couldn’t think about what might happen in the future; he could only focus on the here and now, and right now Caleb needed him to be focused on keeping the two of them alive.

Caleb was in no way an invalid, like he said, but that did not mean he was ready to fight, either. No, that was Alec’s job. Caleb protected him more times than he could count, helped him feel _safe_ , and now he needed to return the favor. He was looking much better than before and while he didn’t like the hot touch of the blonde’s skin he would take the fever over the coldness of blood loss any day because at least that meant he was alive, right? Alive and healing. His body was fighting the infection and he’d be okay, he just needed time.

Right?

Koda suddenly jumped to his feet, causing Alec to startle and shift slightly. Caleb groaned as he moved, the blonde’s head resting in his lap, his arm held over Caleb’s shoulder, holding him to him. He watched, tightening his hold on the blonde as Koda growled, hackles raising as he stared at the stairs and up toward the door. Floorboards creaked and Alec looked around for his sword, finding it resting on the ground a few feet away. He’d been careless and now he’d have to move to grab it, but it would be better to be away from Caleb right now anyway. If something broke in he’d lure it away from the blonde and take care of it himself.

He slid out from under Caleb despite the way Caleb grumbled and tried to keep him in place, only half aware. Alec rolled away and grabbed his sword, getting to his feet as he walked up quietly behind Koda, who was still growling, hackles raised, ears folded back. More floorboards creaked and suddenly the door was smashed open, the snarling face of-

 _No_.

Despite himself Alec took a step back, swallowing thickly as the golden yellow eyes peered through the darkness, landing on him, the large, bulky head breaking through the wooden door. Light poured into the room from the fading daylight outside, the light now let in behind the large, tall, bulky figure. Two large canines poked through the gums and lips of the mutation’s mouth, too large to stay confined in its mouth. Those fangs snapped as the mutation snarled down at him and pushed through the remnants of the door and what little protection he’d managed to create for the two of them.

_Fucking neutrohale…_

Of all fucking _things_ …

Koda barked and growled as the neutrohale slowly, _calmly_ , walked down the steps into the basement. It knew it was in charge here, knew it was stronger and deadlier than either of them could ever hope to be, especially in their weakened state.

Alec took another step back, closer to Caleb, standing in front of him, holding his sword out in front of him. He wouldn’t let this thing get Caleb. No. He heard the blonde moving behind him but couldn’t tear his gaze away from the neutrohale to look back at him, couldn’t take his eye off the enemy.

His heart raced in his chest. He was sure the neutrohale could hear it, was sure even Caleb could hear it, the sound so deafening in his ears, fear an icy glove over that quickly beating organ pummeling against his chest. Koda snarled and growled but fell back next to Alec like he knew he couldn’t possibly win this battle. A part of Alec wondered if they were out of luck and this was the end. Several people had taken on that neutrohale last time – how many lived? Just him and Caleb according to Spear.

One neutrohale was all it took to kill so many people…

Their skin was amazingly thick. The weight of the sword in his grasp left Alec swallowing thickly because he was certain this would be of little use because of that thick black skin, a type of armor all its own. Not to mention neutrohales were definitely the smarter of the mutations, even though the zephroes were now growing smarter as well.

“Caleb,” he found himself whispering, the word more like a prayer than anything because he had no idea how to get out of this situation alive. He had no idea how he was going to protect Caleb.

He took another step back, suddenly colliding with a warm, solid body. He didn’t have to turn to realize Caleb was now standing behind him, pistol at the ready. A hand grabbed his shoulder and tugged. Body on auto pilot, Alec allowed the movement and soon found himself half behind Caleb with the blonde standing between him and the zephro, pistol held out in front of him.

A part of Alec knew he should pull the blonde back, protect him at all cost. A much larger part of him was mindful of the fact they probably wouldn’t make it out of this basement alive. Due to this he would admit he was a little frozen and didn’t know what to do…

_I led us into a deathtrap…_

The neutrohale lumbered forward and Alec looked at the back of Caleb’s head, at the shaggy strawberry blonde hair dipping down toward his neck, at the way in which he held himself, his defensive stance as Koda growled at his side.

_I’m sorry… so sorry…_

He led them to their death.

They were going to die here. This neutrohale was going to kill them and it was all his _fault_ …

_I failed. I’m sorry, so sorry, Caleb…_

“Babe…”

Alec swallowed, unable to find his voice at the moment.

“When I say go, _run_.”

Simple, easy instructions. His mind latched onto the simple concept, the order in his voice and he found himself nodding despite the fact he feared he would not like this plan in the end.

A second later Caleb stepped away from him. Alec watched him step to the side a few paces, watched the neutrohale’s gaze latch onto the blonde and his quick, sudden movements. Watched those discolored lips pull back into a snarl. Watched the mutation step toward the blonde.

Caleb fired three times in quick succession. The shots hit their mark in the mutation’s chest, one catching its shoulder as it growled and tried to veer to the side. Caleb’s aim was precise, though, and two of the three shots hit their mark.

“ _Run_!”

The order was clear, easy, simple.

Alec’s body moved of its own accord, hurrying toward the stairs. Koda barked and snarled and lunged toward the neutrohale and finally Alec’s mind caught up with his body.

_No. No, I won’t leave you._

He spun back and found Caleb firing at the neutrohale once more. Koda was currently chewing on the neutrohale’s leg. The neutrohale snarled and kicked Koda away from him before turning back toward Caleb who was currently backed into a corner. Alec saw no fear in his eyes, though.

Or maybe his own fear wouldn’t allow him to see it.

Either way he tightened his grip on his sword and jumped down the stairs, landing carefully behind the neutrohale.

“Run,” Caleb snapped, firing at the mutation again.

The neutrohale ducked and bullets whizzed past Alec’s head, leaving him swallowing thickly but he couldn’t, wouldn’t, leave.

“I’m not leaving you,” he hissed back at the blonde. Koda was at his side now, growling and snarling at the neutrohale, having shaken off the kick.

_I’m not leaving you. I’m not._

“Babe-”

“ _No_. Not leaving you!”

Caleb growled. “Go, you fucking _idiot_!”

Alec shook his head and lunged toward the neutrohale who seemed rather preoccupied with Caleb’s pistol, stepping toward the trapped blonde again. Alec raised his sword and swung for all he was worth. The neutrohale ducked and his sword slammed into the side wall, ricocheting loudly off of it, leaving Alec’s hands ringing with a dull ache. Gritting his teeth he swung again as the neutrohale’s golden yellow eyes latched onto him.

A second later there was pain.

 _“Alec-_ ”

He crashed to his knees, feeling so very breathless. Above him stood the neutrohale and he stared at the looming figure, at those sharp teeth and the blood on those claws, recognized it as his own only when the pain throbbed through him, the shock beginning to wear off.

The sound he released might have been a moan or a sigh but either way it was choked and Koda lunged at the neutrohale, biting again at its legs. The gun fired several times in quick succession but all Alec could really hear was the dull ringing in his ears, watch as though in slow motion as the neutrohale turned and violently swung.

Watched in slow motion as blood spattered the wall.

Didn’t hear gunshots.

Just the pain ringing through him.

He didn’t fight the oncoming darkness.


	39. Chapter Thirty-Nine: Return

Chapter Thirty Nine: Return

 

He heard voices.

He had no desire to open his eyes, though. No desire to wake up, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. There was this weight in the pit of his stomach and though he wasn’t sure why he felt this way he knew there was a reason for it, and he would not like it. Opening his eyes would mean he would remember and suddenly that was something he did not wish to do.

But there were hands on him. Shaking him lightly, quietly, gently.

Like he was fragile, made of glass.

“Alec.”

For some reason the name meant very little to him. Meant nothing to him because for some reason his mind was latching onto a very different title.

That was it, that was the name.

But why…?

And just like the moment shattered and he knew why he felt like this. But why wasn’t he dead? Why wasn’t he _dead_?

His eyes snapped open. A face hovered over him but the hair was too dark. Wasn’t right, wasn’t blonde. He closed his eyes again, swallowing thickly. Hands tightened on his shoulders, lightly shaking him again. Pain echoed through his body and he couldn’t stifle the gasp which escaped him.

“Wake up, Alec. C’mon. Talk to me.”

A name slithered through his mind. This person had a name.

“S-pear…”

Yeah, that was it.

Spear was here.

His eyes opened again. “C-aleb…?”

_Please. If I’m okay…_

Then Caleb was okay, too, right? Except he remembered the blood splattering against the wall, remembered how he heard no more gunshots afterward and welcomed the darkness. There was no way to escape it, right? And Caleb…

“Where…?”

_Where is he?_

Spear’s grip on him tightened as the man nodded off to the side, gesturing with his chin. “He’s over there, take it easy.”

“Alive?”

“Yes, he’s alive,” Spear said quietly, and Alec could breathe again, that knot unraveling in his stomach. “It’s a miracle you’re both alive.”

“How…?”

How were they alive? He wasn’t complaining, of course, but it just didn’t seem possible. None of this did. Perhaps he was dreaming except he felt the pain too clearly for this to be a dream.

“You’re very lucky Luka and I arrived when we did.”

He blinked slowly, the name slowly catching up in his mind. “You’re… both okay?”

“Yes,” Spear said. “I’m sorry we took so long. We got your message in the wood – smart move, by the way. We heard the gunshots and followed them to find you both on the ground.”

“Neutro…?”

“Koda is a very smart dog and managed to irritate it enough to lead it away. It gave me time to shoot it. Luka and I managed to lure it away from the two of you, back outside, where we took care of it.”

“You…” His eyes widened. “You managed… to kill it?”

“It was pretty wounded from that pistol,” Spear said, nodding. “And Koda did a number on its legs. It went down easily enough and we finished it from there. But the important thing is that you are both alive.”

Alec ran his tongue across his suddenly dry mouth. “How bad…?”

“You were struck in the side. There was already a pre-existing injury? Anyway, it reopened the wounds and added to it and you lost quite a bit of blood. No infection though, from what I’ve seen.”

He nodded slowly even as exhaustion settled through him. He was alive. He lost blood but unlike Caleb he didn’t have an infection to complicate matters, though he did feel very sore and weak. Breathing definitely hurt. Thinking wasn’t much better.

Even so he couldn’t rest yet.

“Caleb?” he whispered quietly.

He wasn’t sure Spear heard him until the man finally sighed.

“Neutrohale caught him on the shoulder,” he said. “Did a number on his tendons and scraped his bone, think it broke something, but thankfully he didn’t lose much more blood. He was still relatively awake when we arrived but he was out of bullets.”

That explained why he didn’t hear further gunshots after the blood splatter.

But Caleb was somehow, miraculously alive. So was Alec. They were both alive.

He didn’t fail. He didn’t let Caleb die although he might as well have for all the fucking good he did. This was his fault…

He closed his eyes, swallowing thickly. All his fault. He could have gotten them both killed. They were only alive now because of Spear and Luka who miraculously found them. A part of him wondered if this really _was_ a dream but no, it couldn’t be. He didn’t usually feel physical pain in a dream, only emotional pain like when he remembered Silas…

“Get some rest,” Spear said quietly. “We’re not going anywhere until the two of you are well enough to travel.”

“Caleb…?”

“He’s still sick,” Spear said. “But his injuries are healing. I found some medical herbs on the way back here and used them on him.”

Medical herbs?

_How does that even work…_

“Okay?”

“Yes, he’s okay for the time being but he should still see an actual doctor and receive treatment,” Spear said. “But for the time being, yes, he is okay. Worry about getting better and we’ll be back at the lab in no time.”

 

‘No time’ wound up being a week later.

A _week_. They’d been gone for nearly a month now. A fucking _month_. Alec could only image what the others back at the lab thought of them. They probably assumed they were dead.

As it was, though, they were somehow still alive. Alec was still confused about how they’d managed to survive but he didn’t question it because he was very grateful for the fact Spear and Luka showed up like they did. He was grateful Koda was such an awesome dog and helped lure that neutrohale away before it could do further damage to Caleb, and himself.

Caleb’s fever was dying down, thankfully. Spear had been wrong about him needing to get to the lab immediately. Alec was also very grateful for this, as well, because he hated seeing those green eyes glazed with fever. Hated any glazed eyes, really, especially Caleb’s. The blonde was still warm to the touch but his face wasn’t flushed with the fever anymore and he could walk on his own despite the tearing at his shoulder which was very neatly bandaged with Spear’s bandages. The rest of them had gone to Alec. They were currently completely out of bandages so he hoped not further attacks occurred because if they did they’d have no real way of stopping the bleeding, out of thread and out of bandages.

But now they were on their way back to the lab, _finally_. Luka’s satchel was weighed down and packed full of the herbs they’d been sent to get. He was rather quiet on their journey back but he stuck close to Spear’s side pretty much at all times. Alec figured the two had bonded over their own journey to get the herbs and then back to pick up Alec and Caleb. Spear seemed to not mind his constant presence. Koda was currently attached to Caleb’s hip, it seemed, which was completely fine with Alec. He owed that dog their lives, after all. Owed that dog Caleb’s life.

Another thing for which to be grateful.

 

By the time they finally _did_ arrive back at the lab, it had been over a month since they’d left and Caleb’s fever was nearly gone, those herbs having done their job. Alec himself appeared to be worse off than the blonde now, since he didn’t have those nifty healing abilities. Luka seemed a little puzzled by Caleb’s speedy recovery but seemed placated enough with the answer of ‘he has a strong immune system’ and whatnot. He didn’t ask too many questions for which Alec was grateful. That was the last thing they needed at the moment.

The doors to the lab opened and the four of them filed inside, Koda of course glued to Caleb’s side. The blonde’s hand lightly scratched the dog behind the ear before a door down the hall opened. Alec was a little surprised by how rough Fix looked, almost like _he’d_ been the one out there fighting for his life instead of them. His expression brightened considerably when he took notice of them and he all but ran toward them. A second later his arms were around Spear’s neck and the two were hugging. Alec smiled at the happy reunion as he, Luka and Caleb pushed past the two of them, giving them a moment alone with their happiness.

They continued down the hallway and into the room from which Fix just exited and filed into it. Nixa was standing there, looking through a files but she looked up as they entered and grinned before a slow frown overtook her face.

“Where’s…?”

“He and Fix are in the hall,” Caleb replied.

She nodded and her smile returned as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, turning to face them completely, pulling down the files. “It’s so good you’re back! We’ve been worried sick! You were gone so long…”

“It wasn’t an easy trip,” Caleb said. “But we got the herbs.” He nodded toward Luka who stepped forward and held out his satchel. Nixa took it with a small nod and turned to head off into the backroom. A moment later she returned with Zeke at her side.

The man smiled when he saw them, moving to stand in front of them, satchel in hand. “It is very good to see you!”

“You too,” Caleb said with a chuckle.

“The zephroes are definitely getting smarter,” Alec said. “They… used my knife against us. Caleb’s sick.”

Caleb tossed him a quick glare. “I’m _fine_.”

“I must say, my boy, you do look rather rough,” Zeke said before he looked over at Alec. “You don’t look so great either. Come with me and I shall do my best to patch the two of you up.”

Caleb sighed and followed after the man as he turned and headed back into the hallway. Alec followed after them and soon found himself in yet another room which smelled distinctly of disinfectant. The scent was very strong and he found himself remembering the days of his childhood, on visits to the doctor for checkups and everything. Oh, how they’d all taken that for granted…

“Sit there,” Zeke said, gesturing at two medical beds. Caleb seemed to hesitate before he finally sighed and approached one of them. Alec sat heavily on the other, tired and sore muscles feeling so very relieved to not have to stand and move anymore. His whole body still ached due to his ‘slow’ healing as compared to Caleb and Spear.

But at least they were back at the lab and were receiving treatment.

Zeke had the herbs now. He could make this treatment or whatever it was and they could finally permanently get rid of those zephroes and then eventually the neutrohales as well.

He cast a glance toward Caleb, caught his eye and grinned.

Today was the start of the mutations’ downfall. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives and he was looking forward to things finally looking up for them. After everything that had gone so terribly wrong in their journey, in their _lives_ , things were finally looking up and turning out okay. Alec was tremendously grateful.

Zeke had the herbs and the means to create such a treatment of sorts.

And Alec wasn’t alone. He still had Caleb. They all made it back somehow.

Things were finally, thankfully looking up.


	40. Chapter Forty: Stolen Moments

Chapter Forty: Stolen Moments

 

It had been a long time since Alec felt truly safe somewhere. Caleb left him feeling safer than he would have otherwise, of course, but he could only do so much. Right now, though, he was in an actual room. A bedroom of sorts, with a large, comfortable bed, a candle on the far side of the room, and a warm body pressed into his side.

The candle cast odd shadows across the blonde’s face but they just left Alec smiling as he rolled his head over enough to plant a light kiss to Caleb’s forehead. His fever had broken a day ago and he was looking much better. His shoulder was, of course, still sore and would be for a while according to Zeke, even with his healing abilities. Alec himself was sore, of course, but he had fresh bandages and as long as he took it easy, he could stay out of the medical area and could stay in this room with Caleb.

And that was what he was currently doing.

Relaxing with Caleb.

Currently his arm was somewhere beneath the blonde’s body and he had no intention of moving it in any way except to further pull that body toward him. Caleb grumbled something in his sleep, brows furrowing at the concept of being moved even if it was only slightly, before they smoothed back out and his expression was once again serene, slack and peaceful in a way only sleep could allow.

The bed was comfortable, very much so. It had been a long time since Alec actually slept in a bed where it was truly comfortable. The ones back in their little gated community were comfortable enough but this bed was soft and bouncy and fit his body in all the right ways somehow, and it was big enough for the two of them to sleep in it comfortably. The ones in the village were rather small, meant mainly for one person, and thus if they did share a bed, they had to squeeze together. This was not really a problem, it was just that Alec wanted to squeeze together because they _wanted_ to and not because they _had_ to because of the small bed.

Birds chirped happily outside the window. It was early evening, the sun just now beginning to settle into the horizon but even so the two still rested in bed after their long journey back to the lab and everything they’d gone through. Alec was still amazed they were even _alive_ , amazed and so very grateful he could still pull the blonde toward him. He’d never had much of an affectionate nature really, not until he and Caleb actually started getting together, anyway. Now he wanted to be next to him all the time. Not for physical reasons either, but because he did not wish any harm to befall the blonde and he himself didn’t feel like… well, _himself_ without Caleb. So therefore it made sense for him to wish be near the blonde at all times and even more sense for him to hold him against him.

“Babe…”

The words were soft, quiet, a breath of air ghosting over his naked collarbone. He took in a breath and looked down into green eyes from where Caleb’s head rested near his shoulder. He was very happy those green eyes were no longer glazed with a fever but were once again bright and vibrant and _Caleb_.

“Hi,” he said, feeling a smile twitch to life across his face even as he tightened his grip on the blonde, no longer having to be so gentle because Caleb was awake now. “How do you feel?”

The blonde smiled. “Relaxed,” he said quietly, shifting.

By now Caleb was practically on his chest, Alec holding him to him. Caleb’s chuckle was breathy and warm and then there were lips against his own. His hands slid easily across the blonde’s bare back, careful of those bandages around his shoulder, fingers stretching up into those longer strands of his blonde hair. It had definitely grown in the time they’d been gone. He could probably put it in a little ponytail.

Alec laughed at the thought before he realized his hair was pretty much just as long as Caleb’s at the moment.

Teeth bit down lightly on his lip, leaving him swallowing thickly as his gaze snapped toward Caleb’s eyes. The blonde pulled back somewhat, hands firm on Alec’s shoulders. “How do _you_ feel?”

“Better,” Alec admitted with a grin.

_Especially when we’re like this._

It, of course, didn’t happen often but he found he was liking it more and more. Little, stolen moments of intimacy. Soft, little touches.

Caleb was currently sitting on his lower half, settled over his hips, hands firm and warm against Alec’s shoulders. He was careful not to disturb the bandaging around his side, where those wounds were still healing, just like Alec himself was careful about touching the blonde’s own bandaging. Tentatively, though, his fingers trailed along the marred flesh of the blonde’s middle, at those still-healing wounds dealt by his own blade. They were thin pink lines now, a vague reminder of what happened, of how close he came to losing the blonde.

There had been a moment, when Caleb stopped breathing, where he was certain their luck finally ran out and he was once again going to be alone in the world, and all thanks to that same knife, and thanks, again, to the zephroes as well.

Luckily Spear kept calm when Alec’s world was tumbling down around him and eventually he did get the blonde breathing again.

He wasn’t aware his fingers were hovering over those scars until Caleb’s hand caught his own, entwining their fingers with a tight, steady grip. Alec swallowed and returned the squeeze, glancing up the blonde’s body toward those green eyes.

“I’m okay, babe,” Caleb said quietly. “We’re both okay.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Theoretically I know that…”

“I know, babe. But it’s gonna be okay.”

“You think?”

“It has to be.”

This was true. Zeke had the herbs and had thus far said he had everything he needed although he would need to speak with both Caleb and Spear privately in a few days. Thus far Caleb said very little about it and Alec hadn’t seen Spear since they arrived. He assumed he was with Fix somewhere but he couldn’t be sure.

Everything would be okay in the end. It had to be, right? Otherwise they came all this way and nearly died so many times for nothing, and Alec just couldn’t accept that, not after everything they’d been through.

“I…”

The words left him then as he sighed heavily, slowly shaking his head. His hands slipped free of Caleb’s and trailed down the blonde’s sides, careful of those scars, hands coming to rest at the curve of his hips, lightly holding the blonde to him. A second later a warm hand was lightly hooking under his chin, lifting Alec’s gaze back toward those green eyes. A small smile played on Caleb’s lips.

“Everything okay, babe?”

“Yeah,” Alec breathed, smiling back, “everything’s fine. I just…”

He wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to say. All he knew was he was filled with this warmth and affection and a part of him never wanted to release his hold on the blonde. Once upon a time he didn’t feel like this but then Caleb broke down his defenses and changed everything. This was not a bad thing, of course, because had the blonde not shown up out of the blue as he had, Alec never would have been able to think about Silas without feeling this pain and guilt. He’d never have been able to be this close to someone without feeling closed in and trapped.

He never felt trapped when he was with Caleb.

Even back in the cells, despite the fact he was physically trapped, Caleb helped keep him sane with their little conversations and the soft, quiet touches, little, hidden acts of intimacy.

Caleb leaned down over him, Alec’s grip tightening on his hips. A second later his mouth was captured with the blonde’s.

“I…”

Except he couldn’t talk at the moment before Caleb’s hands were doing some pretty amazing things, massaging his sides, slipping down toward the curve of his hips, teasing along the line of his pants and underwear. Eventually they slipped inside and Alec couldn’t stifle his gasp, couldn’t stop from lifting his hips toward Caleb who was still practically hovering over him, sitting on Alec’s legs now instead of his hips. Alec hadn’t noticed the blonde shifting until now.

A minute later he was lost in a blissful haze.

 

Exhaustion was a very real feeling after their intimate act but Alec enjoyed this part. The two had only been this intimate together a rare few times but he found he enjoyed the ease with which they relaxed afterward, the way they huddled together as though they were one body with no beginning and no end.

Alec’s head was on the blonde’s shoulder, his body curled into that warm, firm side, half turned toward Caleb. Like before, back in the gated community, his hand hovered over the blonde’s stomach, fingers lightly tracing those new scars. Caleb was quiet and subdued beneath his light movements, the slow rise and fall of his chest rhythmic and mesmerizing in a way. Alec’s hand flattened along the blonde’s side, palm lightly pressing into his skin, sliding along his ribcage and downward.

Caleb’s arm was half beneath his head and yet also curved, as though holding onto the brunette even in his sleep. Alec yawned and shifted a little closer, enjoying this tender closeness which they had not had in a while. With all the close calls this was desperately needed.

_I think I love you…_

This was very true, as he once told Spear on their way to the lab in the first place. He had nothing to compare their relationship to, though, as this was definitely a first for him. He wasn’t entirely sure if this was, in fact, love but it sure as hell felt like it. Or, at least, it felt like what Alec thought love felt, though he couldn’t be entirely sure. Things like romance took a backseat when the world was falling apart, after all.

But he knew that if he loved anyone, it would definitely be the blonde.

A part of him wanted to say the words to Caleb. It was what he’d been trying to do earlier, but somehow the words never came out, caught somewhere between his mind and his vocal chords. He wanted to say the words, tell Caleb how he felt, but the blonde already knew, right? He had to know. Alec hoped his actions said the words his mouth couldn’t just yet. He wanted to say them, of course, but there was time.

No rush, right?

Because they were back at the labs now, _safe_ , and Zeke was working on that treatment. There would be plenty of time to say such things in the future, after the mutations were gone and they could regain some semblance of a normal life. The danger was behind them because the lab was safe and had remained that way all these years, it wouldn’t suddenly change now. It was safe.

Safe, and Alec was curled into the blonde’s warm side.

Things couldn’t get better.

Caleb’s grip on him tightened somewhat, drawing him closer to the blonde. He blinked up those barely parted green eyes and found a slow smile working its way across his face.

“Hey,” he said quietly, fingers stopping their almost automatic pattern across the blonde’s midsection, coming to a rest along his chest, feeling the heartbeat beneath his palm.

“Hey,” Caleb replied, smiling tiredly. “How was your nap?”

Alec’s smile grew even though, in reality, he barely slept even though it had been about two hours since their little intimate act and the blonde had slept nearly the whole time since then. “I like sleeping like this.”

Caleb chuckled breathily, the sound a warm vibration along Alec’s palm. “Me too, babe.”

“I wish it could happen more often.”

“It will,” Caleb said quietly, giving into a slow yawn. “When this is all over, we’ll do this all the time.”

Alec grinned. “Can’t wait, Cal.”

Caleb pulled him a little closer and turned his head somewhat, their mouths connecting in a quick, gentle kiss before the blonde slid away from him, crawling out of bed where he then stood, stretching in all his naked glory. Alec sat up, watching him as the blonde strode across the room toward the pile of clean clothes off to the side. Zeke had clothes for them which was definitely a good thing as Alec’s own clothes had been nothing but rags by the time they got back to the lab, shredded in various places. Caleb’s own clothes were no better, of course.

“I’m gonna go check on the others,” Caleb told him, pulling on some pants. “I’ll meet you in the cafeteria?”

Alec nodded, watching the blonde tug a shirt on over his head.

 

The cafeteria was, of course, mostly empty. However, as it turned out, Zeke was not the only person alive in this alive other than them. There were two others, one a scientist and one a man who managed to stumble across this place. The lab had an interior greenhouse of sorts and thus they grew their own food. Living off vegetables and whatnot wasn’t necessarily the kind of diet Alec always wanted, but it was better than venturing out of the lab to hunt down food.

The man who’d stumbled across this place was a decent cook despite the fact all he had to work with were mostly vegetables. He spent the majority of his time here in the cafeteria but rarely spoke to anyone. Occasionally he would nod at Alec as he grabbed a plate or something, but that was about it.

Currently Alec was seated at a long rectangular table. Once upon a time he was sure this place used to be great, with such a fairly large cafeteria and all these tables and whatnot. He could only imagine how many people actually worked here back before M-Day, how many had perished in those first few days, months, that first year before the general public become entirely aware of the mutations and the threat they posed.

By the time anyone knew what was happening, all the greatest minds behind it were dead, save for, apparently, a rare few. Thankfully Zeke was one of them, but that was why no progress had ever really been made on stopping the mutations or anything like that. Before the world knew it was in danger their best chance at a defense was taken away, leaving humanity to essentially perish.

But now they had a chance at fixing it and righting things.

Alec wasn’t aware of the person behind him until a warm hand landed on his shoulder. He turned to find Caleb sitting next to him, putting down his own plate of cooked vegetables.

“Hey,” Alec said with a smile. “How are the others?”

“They’re doing pretty good,” Caleb said. “Zeke’s also making some progress.”

“That’s great!”

Caleb nodded, smirking at him. “Yeah, it is.”

“So what were those herbs, anyway?”

Why were they so important and why did they have to travel so far to get them? If they were this important why didn’t Zeke already have them on hand?

Caleb shrugged. “I’m not a scientist so I don’t know all the details, but basically this was an herb which was used to help create the mutations in the first place.” He went silent for a moment, looking down at his food, before he released a heavy sigh and stabbed at a carrot with his fork. “It was grown only exclusively in another lab complex, as it was entirely man made.”

“Man made?” Alec echoed with a frown, watching the blonde.

Caleb nodded. “Yes, they apparently created their own herbs which is how they came across the concoction for the mutations in the first place. Or, at least, that’s what I took away from the conversation. Too much scientist lingo for my taste. Apparently they grew a lot of rare herbs, mostly for medical purposes to fight infection and help heal the wounds naturally. Anyway, that’s why we had to go so far for it and why it was so important. It was only ever grown there and what they brought back is all that’s left.”

Alec swallowed. “That’s all of those herbs that’s left? Then how…?”

_How are we going to stop the mutations when there’s only a limited number of those herbs? Surely one satchel full can’t…_

Caleb shifted somewhat in his seat, going quiet for the time being. He ate the rest of his food while Alec sat there and quietly watched him, waiting for the response he wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t hate. Finally the blonde finished his food and sighed, dragging his gaze back toward Alec.

“That’s where Spear and I come in.”

“Huh?” Alec’s brows furrowed. “What’s that mean?”

“Well, since we… since we’re what was _supposed_ to happen…” Caleb’s voice was quiet and Alec could understand why. He probably didn’t want the cook to hear him even though he was clear across the room, cooking more food and probably not even paying attention to them. There was also the concern that Luka might overhear them if he happened to be in the immediate area. “Since we’re… _that_ , he kind of needs us for this treatment.”

“In what way?”

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t say.”

“Is that why you said… why you said one of you two had to make it back?” Alec asked quietly, remembering the blonde’s shaky, weak words back when he was bleeding out on the ground after that zephro stabbed him.

The blonde nodded slowly. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

“So you’ve known you were going to be a part of it.”

“Kind of.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

Alec wasn’t angry, just simply curious.

“I don’t know,” Caleb sighed, shaking his head, strawberry blonde bangs swishing in front of his eyes. “I just… didn’t.”

“It’s nothing bad, right?”

“No.”

Alec nodded and returned to his food.


	41. Chapter Forty-One: Left Behind

Chapter Forty-One: Left Behind

 

Days passed sort of in this odd blur, but it was a good kind of blur. Alec woke every morning in that same room with the blonde next to him and he finally felt like a person again. He finally felt normal, like he did before M-Day except it was also better because he didn’t have Caleb back then, and right now the blonde was a big part of his life. And currently he was, as always, against Alec’s side. Sometimes they switched and Alec was leaning more into and onto the blonde but sometimes it was like this, where Caleb’s head was on his chest and the blonde was sound asleep.

The peace couldn’t last, though, as someone knocked on the door. The knob twisted and the door opened to reveal Spear standing there, smiling when he saw the two of them. Caleb grumbled something and tried to bury further into Alec’s side, clearly not liking the sound of the door opening.

“Hey,” Spear said, “sorry to interrupt, but I need to steal Caleb for a minute.”

Alec nodded even as Caleb muttered something under his breath and finally lifted his head, tossing a glare Spear’s way. Spear simply laughed and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him. Caleb slipped easily out of Alec’s grip and off the bed, tugging on a shirt. As he toed on his shoes Alec sat up and watched him.

“Know what he wants?”

Caleb shrugged. “Nope, but I’ll be back soon. Get some more sleep, it’s still early.”

This was very true. The room did thankfully have a window as they were on the third floor of this lab complex and thus it was safe enough to have a window without worrying about mutations filing in. There were also bars on the window, clearly put there after the world went to hell. Once upon a time bars on the windows would mean one was a prisoner but now it meant safety.

As this room did have a window, he knew the sun was just barely poking over the edge of the horizon in a barrage of oranges and yellows. What could Spear possibly want this early?

“I could come with you if you want,” Alec offered.

Caleb shook his head, finally finished with his shoes as he sat on the edge of the bed, facing Alec. “Nah, that’s okay. It’s still early so sleep while you can.”

He leaned over, then, and gave the brunette a quick kiss to the lips before he pulled away and walked toward the door. It closed with a quiet snap behind him and Alec sighed, laying back down.

Sleep wouldn’t come to him though and after about twenty minutes of attempting to get back to sleep he sat up and climbed out of bed, ready to start the day. He could always nap later. He enjoyed the easy feeling here at the lab, almost like when they first arrived at the gated community. After fighting for survival every step of the way it was nice to just _relax_.

He tugged on a clean shirt and left the room, quietly entering the hallway. The hallway was fairly dark due to the fact there were no windows in it and the electricity was saved for the main part of the lab, where Zeke was, at least to Alec’s knowledge, hard at work on that treatment. What Caleb and Spear had to do with it was still a mystery to him. Perhaps that was why Spear asked for the blonde.

Caleb would tell him about it later, though, if Alec asked. He said it wasn’t anything bad so Alec didn’t worry about it, instead making his way to the second floor, where the cafeteria was located. He found Fix sitting there eating his cooked vegetables and grabbed a plate, moving to join the brunette.

“Hey,” he said by way of greeting as he sat across from him. Fix grunted in response, chewing his food. “Spear ditch you, too?”

Fix shrugged. “Zeke said it was important.”

He didn’t ask how Alec knew the two had been together.

“He say anything about what it was?”

“No,” Fix sighed, shaking his head. “Unfortunately he’s very secretive about this crap.”

“Crap?”

Fix frowned and finally looked at him. “Sorry. I mean he’s more of the guy with the need-to-know philosophy. I apparently don’t need to know.”

“Ah,” Alec said, “I see.”

Thankfully Caleb, to his knowledge, wasn’t like that. They’d both shared their little secrets and their pasts.

It must have been hard for Fix, then, to try and be involved with Spear in any way if the man was as secretive as Fix was making him out to be. He seemed friendly enough to Alec but he barely knew the guy and only knew him from their travels. Fix had known the guy for years.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said.

Fix shrugged, looking back down at his food. “Yeah. I guess. Caleb go, too?”

“Yeah,” Alec sighed. “Spear dropped by to get him. I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Fix sighed back, “me neither.”

 

Alec didn’t see Caleb for most of the day. By the time the blonde returned to their shared room it was late evening and Alec was attempting to clean his sword of the dry blood and whatnot. He looked up as the door opened and smiled.

“Hey,” he said. “How’d it go?”

Caleb shrugged and scowled. “It went okay. Do I look like a pincushion to you?”

“Um… no?”

“Exactly! Goddamn needles in my goddamn arm, goddamn Zeke with his goddamn needles…”

Alec laughed as Caleb sat next to him on the bed. “Sounds like you had a goddamn day.”

“Damn straight,” Caleb said, smirking at him.

“What were the needles for?”

“He decided to turn into a vampire and steal my blood.”

“How tragic.”

“It’s okay, Spear had it worse.”

“And that’s good?”

“Yes. At least he didn’t bust _my_ veins.”

Alec snorted and shook his head, flinging one arm across the blonde’s shoulders, pulling Caleb in toward him where he planted a quick kiss to his cheek before he released him and went back to cleaning his sword. Mutation blood was so very hard to clean off things.

“So what’s the blood for, anyway?”

“I don’t know. He’s trying to use our immunity or whatever to add to the treatment.” Caleb shook his head, sighing. “Science lingo, science lingo, that’s what I took away from it. Something about trying to isolate our immunity cells to mix with the herbs or something like that.”

“I see. So it’s nothing bad?”

“Other than the fact he tried to turn me into a pincushion? No.”

Alec smirked and shook his head.

“Don’t laugh at my pain.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Cal.”

“Liar.”

Alec chuckled, putting down his sword, turning his body to face Caleb and give him his full attention. “Hey, he didn’t turn _me_ into a pincushion.”

“You lucky human, you,” Caleb said with a smirk, and Alec rolled his eyes although he was happy they could joke about this now without it being awkward because of his previous reaction to Caleb’s little secret.

“Well, I _do_ envy your little healing tricks…”

“As well you should,” Caleb chuckled with a nod. Alec wasn’t aware they were steadily leaning closer together until their noses were nearly touching. With a grin he closed the distance, tugging Caleb toward him where he caught the blonde’s mouth with his own.

Caleb’s laugh was breathy and hot as it slid over his face, their mouths breaking momentarily before they once again connected, the blonde managing to tug him off balance, leaving the two of them crashing to the side on the bed, hopelessly tangled in each other.

 

“Babe…”

The voice was quiet and not nearly as rousing as those fingers crawling over his skin in all the right ways. Alec blinked his eyes open to find Caleb sitting on his back, palms kneading into his skin, a massage he had no idea he was going to get. Instantly he was groaning but it was a good kind of pain as he relaxed beneath the blonde’s weight.

“Wha…? What’s this for?” he asked sleepily, face buried in his pillow.

Caleb’s chuckle rumbled through the brunette’s back. “You seemed tense.”

“I was asleep, how…?”

How could he be tense when he was asleep? Not that he was complaining, of course.

“Trust me,” Caleb said.

“Of course,” Alec sighed, yawning as Caleb’s fingers continued working out those knots he didn’t even know he had.

He could get used to waking up like this or in similar ways. He was already kind of getting used to it but it never got old. He was going to have to start surprisingly Caleb by waking him up in similar ways as well.

A few minutes later his impromptu massage was over and he sat up with a yawn as Caleb slid off him, sitting next to him on the bed. Alec couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as he faced the blonde.

“Feel better?” Caleb asked, raising a delicate brow.

Alec chuckled. “Of course.”

“Good, ‘cause I’m hungry,” Caleb said, sliding out of bed. “Let’s go eat.”

 

They met up with Fix and Spear in the cafeteria and sat across from them at the table. Spear’s left arm was bruised from the busted veins and Alec felt a twinge of sympathy but he was also grateful, in some way, that Caleb’s veins hadn’t busted as well.

“Zeke wants to see us again after we eat,” Spear said. “I was going to come get you.”

Caleb sighed, shoving some carrots into his mouth as he nodded.

“What for this time?” Alec asked.

Fix scowled even as Spear shrugged. “Not sure, probably more tests.”

“Tests?” This was the first he was hearing about this.

“Blood tests and whatnot,” Spear said, and Alec nodded.

“Nothing bad, right?”

“Just tests.”

“So how does he think your blood will help?”

Caleb was the one to answer this time. “Not sure, something about our immunity cells or something. He hasn’t said too much about it.”

Spear nodded. “Exactly. But he’s never steered us wrong before.”

“First time for everything,” Fix muttered, causing Spear to shoot him a quick glare. The brunette sighed and continued eating in silence.

“You don’t trust him?” Alec asked.

Fix shrugged. “I don’t know. He seems like a nice guy, but… I don’t know.”

Alec nodded slowly. He didn’t know much about Zeke but he was their best chance at stopping the mutations. Therefore they needed to trust him, but on a personal level, he barely knew the guy. Trust wasn’t something which was in great supply these days.

“When are you planning on going back to your community?” Caleb asked, finishing off his vegetables.

Spear shrugged. “Not sure,” he said quietly. “When this is over, I guess. They can function without me just fine.”

Fix snorted even as Spear elbowed him in the ribs.

“They _can_ ,” Spear said, rolling his eyes. “Jem’s in charge, they’re fine.”

“What’s with the names?” Alec couldn’t help but ask because he’d never really done so before. He knew Spear’s real name was Nick but no one ever used it.

Spear shrugged. “Long story, but basically I like myself much more when I’m Spear than when I’m Nick.”

Fix rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him, he’ll ramble for hours. After we got out of the cells names weren’t really required. Eventually he just told everyone to call him Spear and it stuck.”

“And you?” Alec asked.

“Same story, pretty much.”

“In our community,” Spear said, dragging Alec’s attention back toward him, “a lot of people don’t use their actual names. They use these nicknames. It’s like a defense mechanism, I think. Keeps the mutations at a distance, so to speak, if they create an identity for an outlet.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Oh… okay,” he said quietly.

That made sense in a way. At times he wished he wasn’t Alec, wasn’t the carefree kid of his youth turned into the murderer of his best friend. Swallowing, he looked down at his half empty plate of vegetables.

The rest of the meal was spent in silence. Afterward Spear and Caleb disappeared down the hallway toward the main floor where the main lab was located.

 

Alec wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but he woke sometime later to the way the bed dipped as Caleb slid next to him. He rolled over to find the blonde lifting his satchel in the dim lighting of the candle-lit room. He frowned and pushed his arms under him, lifting himself into a sitting position.

“What are you…? You’re leaving?”

Why?

“Go back to sleep,” Caleb said.

“What?”

“Babe, go back to sleep.”

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” he asked, frowning as the blonde got to his feet. He reached out and caught Caleb’s wrist before he could walk away from the bed. “Hey – Cal, where are you going? Is something wrong?”

This behavior was odd, especially when it seemingly came out of nowhere, at least from Alec’s perspective. Everything had been fine earlier, right?

He lightly pulled the blonde back toward the bed. Caleb didn’t fight the movement and sat back down with a heavy sigh. Alec scooted toward him until he was settled directly behind the blonde, his grip still tight on his wrist, unwilling to let him just walk away from this conversation.

“We’re just going on a little trip.”

“Trip?” Alec repeated with a frown. “Who?”

“Spear, Fix and I.”

“Why?”

Caleb shrugged. “Need more herbs.”

 _“More_?” Alec echoed, staring at the back of the blonde’s head. “What? Why? I thought that was all there was?”

“There’s another type of herb in another complex. Human made. It’s the last ingredient, I think.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Let me pack.”

He moved to slide away from the blonde but now it was Caleb’s hand capturing his wrist, forcing him to stay put. He turned to face Alec, brows furrowed.

“No,” he said quietly, “you’re staying here.”

“Like hell I am,” Alec snapped, glaring at him, the candle light casting odd shadows across his face. “I’m not letting you go anywhere alone.”

“Babe.”

Alec shook his head. “No. This conversation is over. I’m going with you.”

“ _Alec_.”

Alec swallowed thickly. Caleb seldom used his name and when he did, he was serious. Caleb wanted him to stay here, stay behind and no go with him though Alec couldn’t understand _why_. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked quietly, a lump forming in his throat.

Caleb scowled and shook his head. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong, babe. You’re just going to stay here and I’ll be back in a week tops.”

_A week?_

He shook his head. “No. I’m going with you.”

“Babe.”

“Why don’t you want me to go?”

“Just stay here.”

“Why?”

“Dammit, Alec, I’m trying to help you.”

“Help me?” Alec repeated, frowning. “How? By leaving me behind? How does that help me?”

This made no sense! Why did Caleb want to leave him behind? What did he do wrong? Did he make him mad?

Was he being punished?

“It’s safer if you stay here.”

“Caleb, I’m not just going to let you-”

“ _Yes_ ,” Caleb cut in, “you are.” He got to his feet, slinging his satchel over his shoulder, releasing his hold on Alec’s wrist.

“ _Caleb_ ,” Alec hissed, getting to his feet to follow after the blonde. “I’m not staying here, dammit!”

Caleb’s eyes were darker than Alec remembered them. “You’re going to stay here even if I have to knock you out. Do you understand?”

The brunette’s mouth went dry. “But… _why_?”

Why was it so important for him to stay here?

“Because it’s _safe_ here,” Caleb said, narrowing his eyes. “And I’m not dragging you into danger again. So stay _put_.”

“You’re… doing this for me?” Alec asked, mostly to clarify. “You’re leaving me behind for _my_ benefit?”

“ _Yes_. Is that so hard to believe?” Caleb sighed heavily, shaking his head, expression softening somewhat, those eyes no longer so dark. “I already dragged you into danger once and we barely survived. This time I’m leaving you here. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but you’re not coming with me.”

“Then why are _you_ going? If it’s so fucking _dangerous_.”

“Because Spear and I know where this complex is and what herbs we’re looking for.”

“Why do _you_ have to go? Why can’t Spear?”

“I don’t want to argue, Alec.”

Alec swallowed. “I don’t want to argue either, but you’re not fucking leaving me behind.”

He’d never forgive himself if he let the blonde leave behind him and he never _came back_. He was touched that Caleb was so worried about him he’d willingly leave him behind and even knock him out for his ‘own good’, but there was no way he was going to let Caleb do this. Not on his own. Not without Alec.

“Babe. It probably won’t even be a week. This lab is closer.”

“No. I’m going with you.”

“Alec.” Caleb took in a breath. “Please.”

Alec swallowed thickly, that lump in his throat making it harder than it should have been. “Caleb… please don’t ask me to stay behind.”

He hated it when Caleb said ‘please’ like that. A part of him just immediately caved because Caleb rarely ever asked for anything, rarely ever said ‘please’ and it just always reminded him of Silas in his friend’s final moments…

“Please, babe,” Caleb said quietly, watching him, expression so damn sincere. “For me.”

_“For me.”_

Alec clenched his eyes tightly closed, hands curling into fists at his sides as he took in a few deep breaths which were meant to be calming but were anything but.

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“For me.”_

_“Please, babe.”_

“Caleb…”

He wasn’t aware the blonde had moved until warm hands cupped his face, Caleb’s forehead leaning easily against his own. He opened his eyes and found Caleb’s eyes closed, the blonde chewing on his lower lip.

“I’m sorry,” Caleb said, voice a breath across Alec’s face. “Please just do this for me.”

“Caleb, I…”

“Please.”

Alec took in a slow, shaky breath and found himself nodding despite himself. “Okay,” he breathed, but there was very little sound behind the word. He swallowed and tried again. “Okay, Cal. Just… _fuck_ , you better fucking come back.”

A small smile spread across the blonde’s face. “I’ll come back,” he promised, before his mouth covered Alec’s. Alec’s arms wound around the blonde as though if he held on tight enough he could keep him from leaving, but deep down he knew Caleb had long ago made up his mind.

“Caleb, I… I…”

And still the words would not come and Caleb pulled away, smiling at him with this warm, sincere expression.

“I know, babe,” he said quietly, stepping away from him. “I’ll be back soon, okay? Take care of yourself.”

“Be careful,” Alec said. “Fuck, just… fucking _come back_.”

“I will, babe. I won’t be longer than a week.”

Alec nodded even as he knew this next week would be some of the worst days of his life. “Okay,” he said quietly, swallowing as he watched Caleb’s hand curl around the doorknob. He opened the door just as Spear was apparently raising his hand to knock and Spear poked his head in.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Keep him safe,” Alec said.

_Keep him alive._

Spear smiled at him. “No worries, Alec. This trip should be much better than the last one, I promise.”

Caleb looked back at him and their eyes met. Alec opened his mouth to say _something_ because he wanted to say so much, but no words came to him. He knew he’d have something to say five minutes from now, though, as was the way of life, ready to talk when the moment was over.

Caleb smiled. “Be back soon, babe. Keep an eye on the others.”

And then he walked out of the room and the door quietly closed behind him and Spear.

Staying put was the hardest thing Alec had ever done in his life.


	42. Chapter Forty-Two: The Waiting Game

Chapter Forty-Two: The Waiting Game

 

Waiting was just as bad as Alec thought it’d be.

The first night he tried to sleep. He got maybe an hour or two of sleep before the emptiness of the bed got to him and he gave up altogether.

The next night he didn’t even bother trying to sleep, instead busying himself on better sword techniques, getting a better feel for the weight of the weapon and everything.

The third night he spent his time in the lab with Zeke who was running little tests on the leftover blood samples he’d collected from Spear and Caleb. Alec still had no idea what they were for other than the fact he was looking at them under a microscope and kept mixing them with liquid mixtures of lab chemicals and those herbs. He seemed to think he was making progress, which was definitely a good thing, except currently all Alec could think about was the fact it had been three days and Caleb still wasn’t back.

Granted, the blonde said it might be a week, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t wish for him to get back sooner. He hated not being out there with him. He hoped Spear was keeping an eye on him and keeping him safe because if he didn’t come back…

Well, he didn’t wish to think about that. Caleb said he’d come back; Alec had to trust that he would keep his promise. Keep his promise of coming back and also his promise of being there after all of this was over.

They’d been at the lab for weeks now and in that time Alec grew used to waking up with Caleb next to him, or on top of him as the blonde liked to surprise him sometimes. He’d gotten used to being warm and comfortable in bed with Caleb, and to suddenly be without that presence was unnerving. Even during their travels they’d been together at the very least. Sure, Caleb had been wounded but the two had still been together, in close proximity. The room was entirely too quiet without the blonde’s quiet breaths while they slept.

By the fourth night Alec was exhausted. He tried to sleep simply because he kept zoning out whenever someone tried to talk to him, but to be honest he wasn’t in the mod for conversation anyway. Fix got to go with Spear – why couldn’t he go with Caleb?

Caleb was trying to keep him safe. Alec knew this, on some level understood it because if their roles were reversed he’d definitely try to keep Caleb safe whenever possible, but that didn’t mean he had to like it with the way things were right now. Was he some sort of liability to Caleb? He didn’t heal quickly like he and Spear did, but neither did Fix and he still got to go. However, Alec assumed this was because he got left behind on their last trip and they wound up being gone far longer than they said they’d be. If he’d been in Fix’s place, waiting for Caleb to come back, he’d demand to go on the next trip as well.

Hell, he’d gone on that trip and he still hated staying behind like this. He’d told himself he wouldn’t let Caleb out of his sight, would make sure they both made it out of this alive and okay, _together_ , but Caleb left him behind.

If he didn’t come back…

By the fifth night there was simply no way he could stay awake any longer. His body demanded sleep even if his mind wouldn’t be quiet long enough for him to do so because being alone in that bed was _wrong_. Being left behind like this was _wrong_. He eventually broke down and asked Zeke for something to help him sleep. Zeke gave him some kind of herbal tea and within the hour, Alec was sound asleep.

_Come back. C’mon. It’s been six days…_

Nearly a week. Caleb said he’d be gone a week, _tops_. So where was he? Alec felt like he had back in that gated community when Caleb was gone for ten days, the only one of the group to make it back alive. Alec hadn’t been able to sleep then, either. Now, though… it felt somehow so much worse because he’d grown closer to the blonde since then. They’d gotten together since then and to suddenly be without that constant presence…

It was like killing Silas all over again.

For the first time since he got it back, he pulled his knife out from the bottom of his satchel and sat there on the bed, staring down at it as he held it in his grasp. The blade was stained with blood – _Caleb’s_ blood, Alec knew. He should clean it but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

This was a reminder of what happened when he let his guard down. He was careless and left that blade in that zephro’s stomach and the mutations used it against him, nearly killing Caleb in the process. Alec was certain only the blonde’s quick healing abilities kept him alive, kept him from dying and bleeding out then and there.

To clean the blood away would mean to forget that experience and it was something he simply could not do. If he failed again…

If he failed again, Caleb could die.

He failed so many times already. Failed with the knife, failed by leaving Caleb alone in that basement, failed by further trapping them in another basement for a neutrohale to find them…

They were only alive because Spear and Luka managed to find them in time.

He _failed_.

Was that why he’d been left behind? Caleb said he didn’t do anything wrong, but maybe he did. Maybe he failed too many times and Caleb just didn’t want to risk it. Maybe he really was a liability.

The seventh night came and went and Alec lay awake in bed, staring at the door as though any minute now Caleb would walk through it and he could stop worrying and waiting and regretting the fact he let the blonde walk away from him. As it was, though, the door remained closed and Caleb had yet to return despite the fact he said he would only be gone a fucking _week_.

The eighth night Zeke must have slipped him something because he couldn’t keep his eyes open and fell into a fitful sleep. Hours later he woke to warm lips trailing up and down the length of his neck, down toward his chest and over the flat of his stomach before trailing back up again. He snapped his eyes open and reached toward that warm body all in the same moment, feeling all those tense muscles relax and that knot in his stomach finally unwind.

“You’re back,” he breathed, pushing himself into a sitting position while still holding onto the blonde, who fell easily into his lap, Alec’s arms wound around him.

“Sorry I’m late,” Caleb said with a smile.

“You’re back.”

“Yep. Miss me?”

Alec’s response was to capture those smiling lips. Caleb’s hands pushed at his shoulders and he collapsed back down on his back, the blonde hovering over him, fingers gently curling into his bare shoulders. Alec couldn’t remember taking his shirt off before bed but then again, he couldn’t remember falling asleep, either. Zeke was very sneaky in his ways of getting him to sleep.

“You’re okay?”

His hands trailed down the blonde’s sides, slipping under his shirt to feel the skin. He felt no new wounds, though, which left him breathing a sigh of relief.

“I’m fine,” Caleb said. “The trip went okay.”

“Okay?”

He shrugged, grip tightening somewhat on Alec’s shoulders. “Well, the trip there was easy but the trip back was a little tricky. But I don’t wanna talk about that right now, babe.”

Alec swallowed. “But you’re okay?”

That was all that mattered to him at the moment, after all.

Caleb’s mouth was hot against his own. “Yes,” he said quietly, “I’m okay.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

Alec swallowed as he hadn’t realized he’d said those words aloud. Perhaps he was more tired than he thought. “For coming back,” he said, words a quiet whisper.

“Always come back, babe.”

Suddenly those words meant everything.

“Promise?”

Their kiss was soft, warm, and meaningful even if it was kind of quick. “Promise, babe.”

 

The next morning Alec decided to surprise Caleb with breakfast in bed. The blonde looked exhausted when Alec woke before him for once, and Alec knew the journey must have been more rough than the blonde was letting on. They could discuss it later, though. Right now he was just happy Caleb was back and that he was okay. He kept his promise.

Alec returned to their room with two plates of food which he put down on the little table across the room, where the candle sat. It was almost gone and he knew he’d have to ask Zeke about getting a new one. For the time being, though, he slid onto the bed and lightly pulled the covers back, away from Caleb. The blonde didn’t have a shirt on and those wounds were healing nicely, the scars smoothing out even though Alec knew they’d never truly go away. They’d add to the blonde’s collection of near misses. His shoulder wound, to Alec’s knowledge, was healing nicely although it was still lightly bandaged.

Alec seated himself atop the blonde’s hips. Caleb slept soundly through his movements, evidence of his exhaustion. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, too. Alec smiled down at him and carefully began copying Caleb’s methods, kissing his way up the blonde’s body and then along his jawline until those green eyes blinked open and he captured Caleb’s mouth before he could say a word. Caleb’s arms slipped around him, pulling him a little closer as their kiss deepened. When Alec pulled away there was a soft, warm smile on the blonde’s face.

“Morning,” Alec said.

“Hey, babe. Do I smell food?”

Alec chuckled and nodded toward the table. “Want me to get it?”

“Not just yet.” Caleb’s hands slid down his sides, resting atop his hips even though he was fully clothed at the moment. There would have been too many questions if he walked through the halls without a shirt or worse, without pants. “I could get used to this.”

Alec grinned. “Yeah?”

“Mm, definitely.” Now Caleb paused, watching him. “Have you been sleeping okay? You look tired.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I was traveling – you had a nice warm bed.”

Alec shrugged, sighing heavily, hands resting somewhere along Caleb’s sides. “Yeah, well… this room’s kinda quiet when you’re not here, so…”

“You sayin’ you can’t sleep without me, babe?”

Alec rolled his eyes at the blonde’s grin. “Yeah, yeah, don’t let it go to your head.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe.”

Alec snorted and rolled off the blonde, getting off the bed to retrieve their plates. He returned to the bed and sat next to Caleb, who was now sitting up. He handed Caleb’s plate to the blonde and the two settled down to eat breakfast in bed.

“Yeah,” Caleb sighed as he happily munched on his food, “I could definitely get used to this.”

“Does Zeke have everything he needs now?”

“I think so. He said there’s still one more thing but he’s not ready for it yet and it’s here at the lab, so we shouldn’t have to go anywhere.” The blonde chewed thoughtfully for a moment. “He said he’s concerned about how to get the treatment to spread, though.”

“Oh. Yeah. That seems difficult.”

It would be hard to spread the treatment throughout the world and keep the mutations from getting smarter. That was, after all, the first step except it would then lead to them basically becoming brain dead. Science created this mess and it could get them out of it, right? He hoped it worked.

“He thinks an explosion of sorts could get the treatment airborne, but even then it’s iffy.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Yeah. I guess. Is that the only way?”

“Well, we could put it in the ocean but that would do little for landlocked areas. Putting it as a gas in the air would probably have a better chance of actually spreading everywhere eventually, as it would like… mix with the clouds or something and thus when it rained or whatever, it would also help spread it and it would eventually go all over the world. It would take time, though. Maybe years.”

Alec sighed and nodded. “We just need a starting point, then.”

“Yeah,” Caleb sighed. “Zeke’s working on that.”


	43. Chapter Forty-Three: A Matter of Trust

Chapter Forty-Three: A Matter of Trust

 

“How’s your shoulder?”

Caleb stopped what he was doing – cleaning his knife – and glanced at Alec. “Hmm?”

“Your shoulder,” Alec said. “How is it doing?”

He hadn’t asked about it in a while, after all. It was still lightly bandaged last he saw and to his knowledge it was healing well, but he figured he’d ask all the same.

Caleb shrugged. “Still haven’t regained full feeling in my arm but other than that it’s fine.”

“Full feeling?” Why was this the first time he was hearing about this? Growling, Alec slid closer to the blonde. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s not important. Tendons were torn, babe. It’s gonna take time to heal completely, even with my healing abilities. It’s not important.”

“You don’t have feeling-”

“I don’t have _full_ feeling,” Caleb said. “A lot of spots are kinda numb but I can still use it okay. Or do you need another massage?” Now the blonde’s brow quirked at him and Alec found himself rolling his eyes.

“Fine,” he sighed. “But tell me stuff like that from now on.”

“Noted. Hungry?”

“Sure.”

Caleb nodded and put down the knife, getting to his feet. He was clad in a light blue shirt and shapeless faded blue jeans which were a little big on him. He kept stepping on the ends of the legs. Alec himself had on a light brown shirt and dark blue jeans which were actually his size. The two left the room and wandered down the hallway, nearly colliding with Spear as he headed toward their room.

Alec sighed because he had a feeling he was going to be eating alone again. Spear only ever came up here to steal Caleb for the day. Alec always offered to go with them but Caleb always declined and said it was ‘boring’ watching people become pincushions. Zeke had been collecting a lot of blood samples lately, calling Spear and Caleb down to his lab a few times a week, and usually all day long as well.

Caleb was always there when he woke up, but he still kind of missed the blonde. It was like they rarely got time together these days, ever since Spear and them got back two weeks ago. Little progress had been made on that treatment from what Alec had heard but he was definitely getting closer. Spear and Caleb’s trips down to his lab were getting more and more frequent and lasting longer and longer.

“Sorry,” Spear said, and Caleb sighed as he turned to face Alec.

“See ya later, babe.”

“I could come with you,” Alec offered like always.

Caleb shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine,” he said, like always, waving him down the hallway. “Go ahead and eat. I’ll see you later.”

Alec sighed and nodded.

He hoped these lab visits ended soon. How much blood could Zeke possibly need?

He made his way down to the cafeteria alone and found Fix already there, absently poking at his food. He grabbed a plate and joined him at the table. Fix looked at him as he sat down and sighed.

“You too, huh?”

Alec nodded. “This is getting old.”

“Tell me about it.”

“How are you and Spear doing?”

Last he heard, Spear didn’t want to get involved with anyone because it would be a ‘distraction’ but he and Fix seemed to be growing closer. More often than not they were found together and Alec assumed they were staying in a room together. He could be wrong, though.

Fix shrugged. “How are you and Caleb?”

“We’re good,” Alec said.

“Do you love him?”

Alec frowned and slowly nodded. “Yes. I think so. Why? Do you love Spear?”

Fix scowled. “How do you even know about that?”

“Spear mentioned something about it and the two of you seem pretty close. I just assumed… Do you not?”

“Of course I do,” Fix sighed, shaking his head, slumping somewhat where he sat. “It’s just… complicated. He’s complicated. Be thankful Caleb doesn’t mind being intimate with you.”

_I am. Very._

“Spear isn’t intimate with you?”

“It’s complicated. He just…” Now he frowned, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully before his eyes caught Alec’s. “Has Caleb said anything?”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. About the treatment.”

“Not really. Only that Zeke thinks the treatment should be airborne or something like that, and that he’s a vampire. Why? What’s Spear said?”

Was Caleb not telling him something? The thought left an uneasy knot in his stomach. The two didn’t keep secrets, right? What was Caleb hiding? Was he even hiding anything or was Alec getting paranoid?

_Don’t be hiding things, Caleb. We don’t keep secrets._

It was part of what he liked about their relationship – no secrets. Right?

Fix shook his head. “Spear hasn’t said much at all. I just… I have a feeling like he’s not telling me something. I just thought Caleb might have said something.”

“No,” Alec murmured, staring down at his barely touched food. “He hasn’t said a damn thing.”

 

Alec was waiting for Caleb when the blonde finally returned late that night. He watched his movements carefully, noticing how slowly the blonde moved and how stiff those movements were. It was hard to tell with the dim candle light in the room but he thought Caleb might have looked a little pale though he couldn’t be certain.

Caleb looked surprised to see him awake. “Hey, babe,” he said quietly, toeing off his shoes. “It’s late – why are you still up?”

“Waiting for you,” Alec said slowly, watching him. Caleb nodded and crawled into bed, sliding under the covers with a yawn. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes,” Caleb said, glancing at him. “I ate twice today if you must know. Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Huh? What’s wrong, babe?” Caleb turned toward him, giving him his full attention.

Alec shrugged. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Best to just get to the point, right?

What Fix said had him a little on edge. He didn’t think Caleb would willingly and intentionally keep information from him, especially about the treatment or whatever it was they were doing, but a part of him couldn’t help but wonder…

“Like what?” Caleb asked, face scrunching up in a frown.

Well, at least he looked confused. Maybe there was nothing to worry about. Either that or he was a great actor.

But he shouldn’t feel the need to act and lie around Alec, right?

_Maybe I’m just paranoid. It’s probably nothing._

“What do you know about this treatment plan Zeke has?”

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know. I told you everything I know.”

“Did you?”

“You don’t trust me?” The hurt in the blonde’s voice left Alec swallowing.

“It’s not… I trust you,” he said. “I just… you’d tell me if there was something I needed to know, right?”

“You know I would.”

“So there’s… nothing?”

“Babe…”

“Is there?”

Caleb sighed heavily and that knot returned to Alec’s stomach.

“Please tell me you’re not hiding something from me.”

“I’m not.”

“I don’t…” He trailed off there, unable to finish that sentence because this was _Caleb_ and he trusted him, but…

_I don’t believe you…_

“Why don’t you trust me?”

Alec swallowed. “I do trust you,” he said. “I just… What Fix said got to me. And your behavior is…”

“Is what?”

“Off. It’s off. What’s wrong?”

“How is it off?”

“I don’t know…”

He wasn’t sure how Caleb was acting differently, but it felt like he was. Again, though, maybe he was just paranoid. He was letting Fix’s worries get to him, that was all. There was nothing to worry about.

Except suddenly he was noticing the way Caleb wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“What’s with all the blood tests?”

“I told you-”

“Caleb.”

Caleb sighed, shaking his head. “It’s nothing, babe. I promise.”

“Just tell me.”

“It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

_So there is something?_

The admission left that knot tightening in Alec’s stomach. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing, babe-”

“Stop lying to me!” Alec snapped, anger a hot feeling in his gut because why was Caleb lying to him? They didn’t fucking keep secrets, dammit. So why? “What the fuck aren’t you telling me?”

By now he’d shifted closer to the blonde. He wasn’t aware his fingers were curled into the front of Caleb’s shirt until Caleb pulled away, breaking free of his grip as he got to his feet.

“I’m sorry you don’t trust me.”

Alec swallowed, the anger leaving as quickly as it’d arrived, because he didn’t like that look in Caleb’s eyes. Or maybe it was the candle light playing tricks on him. He wasn’t sure but he didn’t like it. “I do trust you,” he said quietly. “I just…”

Caleb shook his head and moved toward the door. Alec hadn’t noticed him putting his shoes back on until he twisted the knob and pulled the door open. He jumped to his feet, moving after the blonde.

“What are you doing?” he asked, frowning.

Caleb’s look wasn’t exactly a glare but it might as well have been with the way it left Alec stopping in his tracks. “Going somewhere else.”

Well, at least he was honest…

“But… _why_?”

“You don’t trust me. It’s fucking insulting.”

With that he stepped into the hallway and slammed the door closed behind him. By the time Alec got over his shock and went after him, Caleb was nowhere in sight.

Alec slept alone that night, or at least he would have if he ever went to sleep.

 

Caleb didn’t return to the room by morning. Alec grew tired of waiting and went looking for him, even though he’d thought he would come back sometime during the night. This was even more odd behavior but maybe it was justified, in a way. He thought Alec didn’t trust him. Alec had never trusted anyone more in his life – he was just worried Caleb wasn’t telling him everything.

Fix’s words got to him. He let his concerns get the best of him and now Caleb thought he didn’t trust him.

He needed to fix this.

Caleb wasn’t in the cafeteria. He wasn’t in the greenhouse. He wasn’t in the lab.

Alec wasn’t sure where else to look. Surely Caleb wouldn’t have left the building, right? He knew it wasn’t safe out there, especially alone, with the mutations getting smarter every day.

He didn’t know where else to look. Where would the blonde be?

“Have you seen Caleb?” he asked Zeke when he saw him return to the lab. Alec waited for him to get back because he didn’t know where the others were or who else to ask. He hadn’t seen Fix or Spear yet and Nixa and Luka were always busy helping Zeke, it seemed, so he rarely saw them.

“I believe he’s sleeping in there,” Zeke said, gesturing to a side door. Alec blinked at it because he’d assumed it was a closet. Now he walked toward it and pried the door open to find it was, in fact, a small room with a little, twin size bed in it and little else.

Caleb was sound asleep on the mattress. In this better lighting Alec could see bruises darkening his arms. Or maybe they just looked dark because the rest of him appeared paler than usual. He couldn’t be sure. Either way he sighed, stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Since this was technically part of the main lab it did, in fact, have electricity. Alec flipped the switch next to the door and light filled the room.

Caleb sat up instantly, blurrily looking around until his eyes adjusted and he scowled at Alec. “Was that necessary?”

“Why are you sleeping in here?”

“I dunno… This bed trusts me.”

Alec sighed, shaking his head. “Don’t be such a fucking baby. You know I trust you.”

“Do I?”

“Yes,” Alec said, swallowing. “At least, you should.”

Had he not shown it enough? Maybe Caleb really _didn’t_ know he trusted him.

“Where’d the bruises come from?” he asked, because it was easier to focus on that than anything else at the moment.

Caleb shrugged. “Needles, pincushion, blah blah blah.”

“Why? Why all the blood tests?”

“I told you. I don’t know. He just needs samples.”

Except he wouldn’t look at Alec when he said this and that anger from before stirred in his stomach again.

“Why are you _lying_ to me?” he asked, watching the blonde. “And don’t try to say you’re not because I know you are.”

“Oh, you know me so well, huh?”

Alec swallowed. “Yes. I… I know you.”

He did, right? At least, he thought he did. He wanted to.

“So why are you keeping things from me?”

Caleb sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face before he patted next to him on the bed, gesturing for Alec to sit. Alec swallowed and did so, that knot tightening in his stomach because this really meant there was something the blonde wasn’t saying.

“It’s nothing bad,” Caleb said.

That knot loosened a little. “Okay. What is it?”

“He’s not just taking blood samples. He needs our blood for the treatment.”

“Which means…?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said he was becoming a vampire.”

Alec narrowed his eyes. “Can’t you be serious about this?” he snapped, fighting the urge to get to his feet because he hated arguing with Caleb. He hated sleeping alone, too. He just wanted to get this conversation over with.

Caleb’s own eyes narrowed. “I _am_.”

“What does…? What’s that mean?”

“He needs our blood for the treatment. The more blood he gets the better the treatment. Ideally he needs gallons.”

“ _Gallons_?” Alec repeated, staring at him. “Of _blood_? Your blood?”

“Yes. He’s giving us a little time to replenish it and then he’s taking more. That’s it, babe. That’s all I wasn’t telling you. Nothing bad.”

“How is that not _bad_? You’re covered in bruises and you’re fucking _pale_.”

“But I’m _fine_.”

“You’re _not_ ,” Alec snapped back. “It’s taking a toll. Tell him to stop.”

“I can’t.”

“Why the fuck _not_?”

“Because humanity needs this,” Caleb said quietly, forever placating and calm. “It sucks but I’ll be fine. It would go quicker if we had the others like me and Spear but we don’t know where they are or if they’re even _alive_.”

Alec took in a breath and released it slowly, scrubbing a hand across his face, struggling to process everything. “If it’s nothing _bad_ then why were you keeping it from me?”

“Because I knew you’d react like this,” Caleb replied. “I knew you’d worry. Sorry for trying to keep you from _worrying_.” The blonde took in a breath, shaking his head. “Look, babe, I’ll be fine. Spear will be fine. Okay? Zeke won’t take too much, he’s careful. He needs us to set off the treatment anyway.”

“What? Why?” This was the first he was hearing about this.

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know. He hasn’t said, says we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Alec believed him this time because the blonde wasn’t averting his gaze for once.

“Okay,” he sighed. “Just… don’t keep things from me, okay? I’d rather know and decide for myself if I should worry. Just FYI, if you have to worry about me worrying, it’s probably something worth telling me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, babe.”

“So will you come back to our room now?”

“Our room, huh?”

Alec nodded even as the blonde smiled.

“Sure, babe,” Caleb said with a quiet chuckle, grabbing Alec’s hand and entwining their fingers as he got to his feet, pulling the brunette after him. “Let’s go.”


	44. Chapter Forty-Four: Sleep

Chapter Forty-Four: Sleep

 

Over the next few weeks Caleb obtained more bruises, busted veins, and was currently forced to stay in the lab for medical reasons. Alec was less than thrilled by all of this and refused to leave the blonde’s side. Spear was also confined to the lab for similar reasons although his seemed to be more serious. Alec was selfishly happy Caleb wasn’t as bad as Spear at the moment but he sympathized with Fix who hovered worriedly over the guy’s bed. Nixa and Luka even stopped by a few times in the past few days they’d been confined to the medical area of the lab.

“I’m _fine_.”

“Uh huh.”

“ _Really_ , babe, I’m _fine_.”

“Still not going anywhere.”

As was the way usual way things went these days. Caleb claimed to be fine and Alec didn’t even bother arguing anymore as it was just a waste of breath. Even if Caleb thought he was fine, Alec knew the truth. He was currently hooked up to several IVs for varying purposes – one to keep him hydrated, one to take blood whenever Zeke deemed it ‘safe’, one to give him vitamins and other things to keep his immune system up, and Zeke was even talking about putting the two of them on a feeding tube and keeping them unconscious for several days while he finished collecting the needed blood.

Alec wasn’t happy about this. Fix raged for several minutes before Zeke covertly jabbed him with a needle and knocked him out, putting him in a separate room to sleep. Fix needed it, of course, as he had yet to actually sleep much since Spear and Caleb were forced to stay here. Alec wasn’t any better but he didn’t feel like getting forcefully knocked out, so he kept his mouth shut and instead quietly stayed at Caleb’s bedside.

He knew this was necessary. On some level, he understood the need for it but that did not mean he liked this in any way. He felt so useless and he hated the pallor of the blonde’s skin. Spear was worse off but still, Alec did not like seeing Caleb like this _at all_. Caleb was doing it for humanity, though, and as he said, they would be okay in the end as long as Zeke kept an eye on them, but how much could one person take? Alec worried about the strain this had to be putting on their hearts. Sure, they were given a little time to replenish their blood but it was already taking a heavy toll and people could only take so much, right?

Sighing, he tightened his grip on Caleb’s hand as the meds finally kicked in and Caleb drifted off to sleep.

Not for days – just for a long overdue nap, thankfully.

Alec wasn’t going to let him be knocked out for fucking _days_ simply so it would be easier to retrieve their blood without harming them. He’d get Caleb out of here before he let that happen.

A part of him realized he might have been behaving selfishly. Caleb’s blood was needed for the good of humanity. Rendering him unconscious for a while would help the blonde in the long run as it would leave him unaware of potential pain and other things, especially with all those IVs. It made sense to knock them out.

And yet he couldn’t allow it to happen.

He wasn’t sure why.

 

Alec woke from a sleep he never meant to have, hearing the sound of alarms blaring in his ear. It startled him awake and his eyes snapped open to find Zeke hurrying toward Caleb’s side. The blonde was entirely too still and pale and-

“What’s going on?” he snapped. “Why… Why isn’t he _breathing_?”

“I don’t know,” Zeke replied calmly. Why was everyone so fucking _calm_?

A second later more alarms sounded, near Spear’s bed. Zeke moved to check on him but Alec caught his wrist, growling as he held him in place.

“You fix this!” he snapped. “You help him right now!”

“Babe.”

Alec blinked, frowning. Why would Zeke ever call him ‘babe’?

He swallowed, looking down at the blonde’s pale, unmoving body, mind flashing back toward a very similar moment when Spear was stitching Caleb up.

“Babe. Hey?”

That wasn’t Zeke’s voice, he realized with a frown. It was Caleb’s.

But the blonde wasn’t moving. He was too still, not breathing, _help him_ …

“Babe?”

_What…?_

“Alec.”

Alec sat up with a gasp, unaware he’d even been dreaming, the dream entirely too real and raw in his mind. He was sitting in that stupid plastic chair next to Caleb’s bed, and the blonde was sitting up on a stack of pillows, watching him with furrowed brows and a worried frown.

“Babe?” he asked. “You okay?”

Alec swallowed and fought the urge to throw his arms around the blonde because he was _okay_ , he was _breathing_ and there were no fucking alarms…

He didn’t, though. He didn’t want to disturb any of the IVs or anything so he settled for a death grip on the Caleb’s hand.

Caleb easily returned the squeeze even though he looked confused.

“Everything okay, babe?”

“Yeah,” Alec breathed. “Just a bad dream.”

“ ‘bout what?”

“Nothing.” He didn’t need to worry the blonde, after all. “How are you feeling?”

Caleb shrugged and then winced at the movement, settling back against his pillows. “I’m fine, babe. Like I keep telling you.”

“You’re not _fine_ ,” Alec muttered, shaking his head.

The bruises were more prominent now. Caleb was rarely awake for more than a few hours at a time. Spear was worse, last Alec heard, but he was situated in an opposite medical room for the time being. He assumed Fix was with him and wasn’t arguing with Zeke anymore.

“It’s temporary,” Caleb told him, smiling as he squeezed his hand. “It’ll be over soon.”

“And you’ll be there, right?”

“Yes, babe,” Caleb said quietly. “We’ll both be there.”

 

“I don’t like this.”

“I know, babe.”

Alec swallowed, pacing back and forth in front of the blonde’s bed. Caleb quietly watched him. Alec wasn’t sure if that was because the blonde was so damn calm or because he was too tired to talk. Honestly he’d believe either one.

“I don’t _like this_.”

“So you’ve said. Just because you add emphasis doesn’t change the meaning, babe.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “How are you so calm?”

“There’s no reason not to be. It’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that,” he snapped without meaning to, before he stopped pacing, sighed, and faced the blonde, approaching the side of his bed. “Sorry, I just… what if something goes wrong?”

“Like what?”

“I… I don’t know.”

_What if you stop breathing?_

“Just… _something_. What if something goes wrong?”

“Nothing’s going to go wrong.”

“You don’t fucking _know_ that.”

No matter how placating Caleb was, he didn’t know for certain he’d be okay. He didn’t know for certain he’d _wake up_. There was no way to be entirely certain. Even Zeke admitted as much which was why he made this an _option_. Spear agreed to it and so did Caleb despite what Alec and Fix said.

They were going to be knocked out for at least a week. They’d be hooked up to feeding tubes and breathing machines to help minimize how much the heart and lungs had to work to keep their bodies going while Zeke took more of their blood. He said it would be painless – they’d just be going to sleep.

He mentioned the risks, though. There was always risks with anesthesia, even more so these days because of what happened to the world.

The closer it got to time for them to go to sleep, the more Alec felt like he was going to be sick.

“I don’t like this.”

“Babe, you keep saying that.”

“Well I fucking _don’t_.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that! Stop saying that!”

Caleb watched him calmly, not batting an eye at his outburst even as Alec’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. “What do you want me to say, then?”

“I don’t know, just… _fuck_ …” He collapsed into the uncomfortable plastic chair. Despite how much he hated it the chair had basically become his bed for the past few weeks.

Fucking _weeks_.

Both Caleb and Spear had lost a lot of weight and were very pale and bruised pretty much everywhere. Zeke said he was being as careful as he could be but there were always fucking _risks_ …

“Why’d you agree to this?” he asked quietly, head bowed as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he looked at the ground. “Why didn’t you say no?”

“Because humanity needs this, babe.”

 _Screw humanity!_ Alec wanted to say, but he knew that would be unappreciated.

Instead he gave a slow nod and tried to swallow down that uneasy lump in his throat. “I still don’t like it.”

“I know,” Caleb sighed. “But it’ll be okay.”

Alec nodded even as that knot in his stomach tightened and grew. He tasted bile in his throat but swallowed it down as Caleb’s hand sought out his own, their fingers entwining into one solid unit.

“This is the last step, right? Nothing more after this?”

He certainly hoped this was the last step.

Caleb nodded. “Other than finding a way of dispersing it, yes.”

“Okay,” he breathed, swallowing as he finally managed to look the blonde in the eye. “Just… fuck, just wake up, okay?”

“I will,” Caleb promised. “It’ll be okay.”

_You don’t know that. You can’t promise that._

But it was what he wanted to believe, so he nodded and forced a smile for Caleb’s benefit. This was the least he could offer the blonde, after all. Caleb smiled back but it was this weak, tired smile which meant he knew Alec was faking it but he was grateful all the same.

Maybe Caleb needed reassurances, too.

“Yeah,” he breathed, tightening his grip on the blonde’s hand, “it’ll be okay.”

The blonde returned his squeeze. “I’m gonna be hungry when I wake up.”

Alec laughed, the words were so unexpected. “Oh, really?”

“Mm, and not just for food, either.”

This time Alec’s smile was genuine. “I’ll keep that in mind, Cal.”

The next few minutes were spent in a comfortable, easy silence. Alec still had a million worries but he’d keep quiet for now, for Caleb’s benefit. Maybe he was worried too but wasn’t showing it so he didn’t worry Alec. If so, Alec could do the same for him, right? After all, Caleb was the one being knocked out, not himself.

This did nothing to lessen that knot in his stomach when the door to the room opened and Zeke walked toward the bed. Alec hunched forward a little more, shifting closer to the blonde’s side, or at least as much as this stupid plastic chair would allow. Caleb’s fingers tightened around his own and Alec wasn’t sure when this simple act became so important, but with one squeeze he found his body automatically relaxing a little.

 _I’m here,_ that squeeze said. _I’m not going anywhere._

_Yeah… okay, Cal. I’ll hold you to that._

“I trust that you are ready, Caleb?”

Caleb nodded even as Alec’s spine stiffened.

“Good,” Zeke said, reaching for a syringe. He walked around the bed toward Caleb’s other side. “This will work quickly. Spear was out in about thirty seconds.”

Alec wasn’t aware he’d tightened his grip on Caleb’s hand until Caleb winced. He looked down at his white knuckled grip and loosened his hold. “Sorry,” he murmured. Caleb’s response was a quiet squeeze to his hand.

Alec watched while Zeke pressed the syringe against Caleb’s neck. Within a few seconds Caleb’s hand went slack in his own, even as the blonde blinked slowly, looking more tired by the second.

“Babe,” he breathed so softly Alec could barely hear him. He hunched forward a little more. “If I don’… wake up… you… should…know…”

“What? What the hell do you _mean_ ‘if you don’t wake up’?” Alec snapped, jumping to his feet, but Caleb’s eyes had already fallen closed. “Caleb? Hey! Caleb!”

But the blonde was already fast asleep and Alec received no answer except the quickening beats of his own heart ringing in his ears.


	45. Chapter Forty-Five: Steel Bands

Chapter Forty-Five: Steel Bands

 

Days passed. Alec had no real sense of time but he assumed it had been days. He’d been forced out of the room every day while Caleb got his blood drawn – for some reason Zeke didn’t like anyone being near him when he did such ‘delicate’ things, which was apparently why Spear and Caleb kept declining to have Fix and Alec join them during this process.

Typically a bit of blood was always being drawn from those IVs but for the ‘correct amount’, or whatever _that_ meant, Alec was kicked out of the lab while Zeke drew the blood the ‘correct’ way or something like that. He didn’t like it but there was little he could do about it. Since this happened every day he knew time had definitely passed but the days, so far, had all blurred together.

How long had it been since Spear and Caleb were knocked out?

Three days? Four?

Twelve?

He didn’t know. Either way it was entirely too long. He hated seeing Caleb so still, pale and quiet. It was unnatural because Caleb was rarely ever still at all. Even in his sleep he shifted around, fingers twitching and whatnot, but now he was just completely still.

And Alec fucking _hated_ it.

He kept telling himself it would be over soon, but what if it wasn’t? Caleb would wake up, right? If the blonde was so damn sure he’d wake up and it’d be okay, like he kept telling Alec, when why the fuck did he say ‘if I don’t wake up’?

When he woke up Alec was going to chew his head off for that.

Or he’d hug him for all he was worth.

Either way it was happening.

_Just wake up._

That was all he wanted. He wasn’t sure when he became so damn _reliant_ on the blonde but it happened and there was little he could do about it now. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without him and he was afraid of finding out. No, not afraid – _terrified_ because he didn’t want to go back to the way things were before, with him traveling all alone, regretting mistakes in his life and mourning the loss of people he’d never see again.

He didn’t want to go back to that. Caleb saved him from that life whether the blonde knew it or not, and Alec couldn’t lose that after he’d only had it for such a short time. Only about a year and half, after all. Only a year since the two of them met, since they were thrown into a cell together and kept each other sane.

Hell, it hadn’t even been a year since they’d been in this… relationship? Was that what this way? The word felt foreign and strange but he kind of liked the sound of it. Caleb was his boyfriend, after all. So, yes, relationship. They’d only been in this _relationship_ for about half a year and he wasn’t ready to lose it now.

He wondered if he’d _ever_ be ready for something like that. He very seriously doubted it if the way he couldn’t keep any food down at the moment was anything to go by. If he felt like this just when Caleb was _sleeping_ , how would he react if he _never woke up_?

 _Don’t think about it,_ he told himself. _He’ll wake up._

_Yeah, but what if he doesn’t? Even he was worried about it._

_No. He’ll wake up. He promised._

_He’s unconscious, he can’t promise anything._

He swallowed and stopped walking. He hadn’t even been aware of his movements until he found himself in the cafeteria. Bile rose in his throat as the scent of cooked vegetables filled his nostrils, his nose only now recognizing the scent as his mind caught up with his body.

When was the last time he’d eaten?

He couldn’t remember.

He should eat, then.

Except the thought of doing so just left him nearly gagging.

_Caleb would want you to eat._

_Yeah? Well… he’s not here, is he?_

It was the bitterness of his own thoughts that made Alec step forward, into the cafeteria. Nixa was seated at a table reading some kind of science book. It was probably the only kind of reading material to be found around here. It had been so long since he’d seen an actual book he wondered if he could even still read.

Such a simple thing, books and reading.

And yet, neither were as important in survival as guns and weapons. School always taught writing and English and how to understand literature, but life wasn’t like that anymore. Writing and reading didn’t matter anymore.

But somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt a longing he hadn’t realized he had before. He missed books. He missed reading even though, in school, he hated it. Hated being forced to read things he wasn’t interested in.

He’d change his outlook if he could go back in time. He’d cherish those easy, carefree moments in school. He’d read every book he could find.

He’d tell his parents he loved them one more time. He’d hug his sister tighter. He’d throw Silas’ knife away.

He’d do so much and yet it would never happen.

He wasn’t aware of his tears until they slid down his cheeks. He blinked away the wetness because why was he crying? He hadn’t cried in years. He’d been sat, sure, and perhaps had tears in his eyes a few times, either because of pain or because he was watching someone die (or nearly die, in Caleb’s case), but he’d never actually _cried_.

But thinking back on his life…

_I’d be so much better. I’m sorry._

“Alec?”

He swallowed and ran a hand across his face, wiping those tears away as he looked to see Nixa watching him from her table, book held down somewhat so she could watch him. She quirked a delicate brow and gestured for him to join her. Sighing, he moved toward her because he wouldn’t be allowed back in the lab for at least an hour or so, despite how much he hated being away from Caleb when he so damn _still_.

“How are you?” Nixa asked. “We haven’t really gotten a chance to talk since we got here.”

He shrugged. “I’m fine.”

“Uh huh,” she said skeptically. “How’s Caleb?”

“I don’t know,” he breathed, and that knot in his chest bubbled up in his throat and suddenly he couldn’t _breathe_. “I… don’t… I don’t know.”

“Alec, honey, breathe,” she said calmly, reaching across the table with one hand, capturing his fingers. He pulled away though because the weight of her hand wasn’t the same, wasn’t Caleb’s and suddenly that was all he wanted.

Wanted to be _safe_ …

Wanted to be somewhere where someone wanted him.

Just wanted to be _there_ and not stuck out _here_.

“What’s wrong?” Nixa asked quietly.

_What’s wrong? I don’t fucking know._

All he knew was everything felt so fucking _wrong_ right now and there was nothing he could do to change it. If he could go back in time, he’d fix so many things. Maybe then Silas would be here, or his family. Maybe Caleb wouldn’t be unconscious right now. Maybe he wouldn’t be worrying about how the blonde _might not wake up_.

His face was cold.

He sniffled, unaware he’d even been crying again, but his face was wet with those damn tears and his hands were shaking under the table from where he’d pulled away from Nixa. His breaths were shaky at best, nearly hyperventilating at the worst, and there was nothing he could do to stop it because suddenly all he could think about was the fact everything could very easily fall apart around him.

This lab was supposed to be _safe_ and yet Spear and Caleb were unconscious. They were bruised and pale and entirely too still and Alec wasn’t sure what he’d do if the blonde didn’t wake up.

He tried to think about it because it could be a very real possibility but his mind rejected the thought instantly. Who was he without Caleb?

A sad, lonely individual mourning the loss of someone he killed.

That was it. He was no one until Caleb came along.

And yet, just like his family and just like with Silas, he could feel everything slipping through his fingers, forever sand through a sieve, and no matter how hard he tried to hold on, everything just fell through the cracks.

He wasn’t aware Nixa had moved until she grabbed his arm and pulled him into an easy hug, now sitting next to him on his side of the table. He allowed the movement though he wasn’t sure why – everything about the hug was wrong because she was definitely not Caleb. She was smaller than him, thinner than him she was being entirely too gentle.

Like he would break.

_But maybe I will…_

“Sorry,” he breathed, swiping a hand across the wetness on his cheeks. “I don’t know… what’s gotten into me. Sorry. I just… sorry.”

She allowed him to pull away but kept a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to be scared, Alec. Caleb’s had a lot of close calls and you’re worried about him – I get that. Fix is going through the same thing with Spear. I’m worried about both of them as well but they’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” he said, swallowing, feeling that tightening in his throat again as he thought about that dream he had, where Caleb stopped breathing. And then he remembered when that really _did_ happen, and those steel bands tightened around his lungs.

“Alec, calm down,” Nixa said, tightening her grip on his shoulder, grounding him in a way. “It’ll be okay. Both of them are strong, they’ll be fine.”

He nodded because he _wanted_ to believe her, believe it would be okay and they’d both be there when this was all over, but how many close calls could someone take before they broke completely? What if the next time they left his building, Caleb was killed? Would anything they’d done here matter then?

For humanity, yes. It would matter a lot.

But for Alec…

He wished they’d never left that gated community.

“I hate this place,” he murmured.

“I know you do, but it’ll be okay.”

Empty words, though, because everyone kept saying them. Kept saying them like if they said it enough it would eventually become true. That wasn’t how life worked, though, and life loved to hate him. Took his family away, left him to kill Silas, left him alone to fend for himself in a world gone mad…

It could just as easily take Caleb away from him, too.

Take away what little he’d managed to salvage of his life.

“I wish we’d never come here.”

Had they stayed in the gated community they would have been safe – for the most part, at least inside the gates – and there would have been no drawing of blood, no rendering anyone unconscious for the sake of humanity.

Maybe in time he’d grow to appreciate this moment, appreciate what this meant for the rest of humanity and how it could very well get them back on the right track and back to how things used to be, but right now he didn’t care about any of that because what good was saving the world if he lost the only person he…

What?

Loved?

He did love the blonde, at least as much as he thought he could. It wasn’t like loving his family or even like missing Silas, but something better and worse all rolled into one. It was as soothing as it was breathtaking and nerve-wracking. It was wild and calm all at once and he only felt that way when he thought about Caleb.

He loved him.

So what good was saving everyone if he lost Caleb in the process?

He couldn’t help but feel like something bad was waiting around the corner, that this would not, in fact, be the last thing needed for this treatment and the next step could very well be their downfall.

He tried to push those thoughts away, but they plagued him. He dreamed about them whenever he managed to actually _sleep_ though that was very, very little. Maybe that was why he was crying – he was utterly exhausted and worried and he hadn’t eaten in who knew how long.

That would leave anyone a little emotional, right?

 

“I’m sorry, babe.”

“What for?”

“I didn’t wake up.”

“What do you mean you didn’t…?”

“I’m sorry.”

Alec woke with a gasp, fingers curling into the soft covers beneath him. He had no idea how he got here as he couldn’t remember going to sleep but he had a sneaking suspicion Zeke might have been involved. He sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face, exhaustion a heavy weight in his limbs, before he looked around the room to find himself in that little side room where Caleb had been sleeping that one time.

He got to his feet and left the room, walking toward that little medical room where Caleb was currently staying. The blonde was, as always, fast asleep and Alec had no idea how long it had been. He couldn’t even remember sleeping – how was he supposed to keep track of how long it had been since Caleb went to sleep?

He sat heavily in that plastic chair, feeling that tight feeling in his chest again, those damn steel bands around his heart and lungs squeezing for all they were worth, forcing that damn lump into his throat. His hand moved of its own accord to capture Caleb’s, giving it a quick squeeze but there was no returning squeeze. There hadn’t been since the blonde went to sleep and somehow Alec missed that a lot more than he thought he would.

He scrubbed his free hand over his face again, on some level acknowledging the fact he needed to shave, but he felt very little desire to actually do so. He felt very little desire to do anything anymore, really.

He had a feeling that wouldn’t change until Caleb woke up.

Until he got _better_.

So trapped in his thoughts and exhaustion he was, he didn’t notice the alarm blaring for a few long seconds. Then he snapped his gaze down toward Caleb who remained peacefully unaware, and realized the sound _wasn’t_ coming from this room, but the next room over, where Spear was sleeping.

He hadn’t realized he’d gotten to his feet until he was already out of the room, moving toward that closed door but he found it locked. He could hear voices inside, Fix’s worried tone, and he swallowed before quietly shuffling back toward Caleb’s room. There was little he could do for Spear and he’d have to hope Fix and Zeke had it under control.

Even so he couldn’t stop his hands from trembling as he sat back down in that plastic chair, because this felt very similar to his dream except in it, Caleb was the one to have the alarms go off first. He watched the blonde for a long moment, tired eyes scanning over every minute detail, every bruise and marring of his flesh before he released a heavy sigh and finally sat back a little in his chair. The alarms next door were silent and he hoped that meant Spear was okay, and he must have been a horrible person because all he could think about was the fact he was _happy_ , so happy it wasn’t Caleb’s alarms blaring.

And he felt so damn bad for it, and those steel bands tightened all the more.

_I’m a horrible person. I’m sorry. Wake up, Caleb._

That was all he wanted, after all. Maybe then he could breathe right again. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like _this_.

_Wake up._

 

Warm, nimble fingers smoothed through his hair like he was a dog, lightly scratching against his scalp and he automatically moved closer to that hand, closer to that source, but in doing so made the legs of the chair scrape somewhat across the ground, which left his eyes snapping open as he remembered where he was and why he was there. He looked at Caleb, whose hand was falling back to the bed, tired green eyes watching him through barely parted lids.

“You’re awake,” he breathed, that lump forever lodged somewhere in his throat, those steel bands around his lungs.

“Hey, babe,” Caleb murmured.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“Do what, babe?”

“Fuck, just… _Don’t_.”

“You okay?”

Alec scowled. “I’m _fine_ , I wasn’t asleep for… I don’t even know how long.”

“Babe.”

He wasn’t aware of the fact Caleb’s fingers were laced with his own until his fingers curled automatically, squeezing that warm hand. Caleb’s returning squeeze was weaker than usual but finally there again, and something in Alec’s chest loosened.

“How’s Spear?”

Alec swallowed. “I don’t know. He stopped breathing for a bit but they fixed it.”

He knew this much from when he’d asked when Zeke came to check on Caleb sometime after it happened.

“I don’t think he’s awake yet.”

_Or if he will wake up…_

But he didn’t want to think about that, dammit. Didn’t want to think about how it could have very easily been _Caleb_ who had stopped breathing _again_. Didn’t want to think about much of anything, really, except the fact Caleb was finally awake.

Finally, thankfully _awake_.

Except those steel bands were still there, forever tightening and constricting.

“Babe?”

Worried green eyes latched onto his. “I’m okay,” he said.

“No, Alec,” Caleb sighed, “you’re really not.”

Alec pushed to his feet. “Are you hungry? You should eat. Fuck, water. Okay, yeah, I’ll get you some water.”

With that he hurried from the room before he did something he’d regret, like cry yet again even though Caleb was finally awake and everything should have been perfectly _fine_.

Except, somehow, it wasn’t.


	46. Chapter Forty-Six: Some Nights

Chapter Forty-Six: Some Nights

 

“Babe, you’re starting to worry me.”

This was very true. Caleb was growing increasingly worried about the brunette due to the fact Alec had barely touched his food which Nixa had so graciously brought to their bedroom for the two of them. He’d been out of the medical area for two days now while Spear was still unconscious, much to his dismay. He really hoped Spear woke up soon. If he managed to wake up, he could too, right?

As it was, though, he too exhausted to really do much of anything except sleep but his blood was no longer being drawn and as long as he took it easy, he could stay in his room instead of in the medical area. Alec hadn’t left his side once, and kept pushing his food around on his plate, never really eating it.

He’d lost a lot of weight, Caleb noticed. He himself had as well, of course, but that was because of the blood drawing and the fact he was confined to a bed for a while. Alec, on the other hand, hadn’t been knocked unconscious and hadn’t been the one being jabbed with needles constantly, and yet he looked almost as pale as Caleb did when he looked at himself in the mirror.

The brunette had apparently given up on shaving as his stubble was growing longer, no longer as rough as it was. Alec pretty much gave up on everything, it seemed, including food and he really needed to eat. Caleb wasn’t lying when he said he’d be hungry when he woke up and cooked vegetables had never tasted better after having that feeding tube and everything, but he hated watching Alec like this.

With a sigh he put his plate down and carefully grabbed Alec’s wrist, stopping the brunette’s movements of pushing his food around his plate with his fork. Alec’s dark hazel eyes lifted somewhat but then lowered again just as quickly, not looking him in the eye.

“Babe,” Caleb said quietly, “look at me.”

“What?”

“C’mon – look at me.”

Alec sighed and lifted his gaze again, finally meeting his eye. Caleb’s grip on his wrist tightened somewhat.

“You’re starting to worry me.”

“I’m fine.”

_Did we switch places when I wasn’t looking?_

“Babe, you’re not,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s okay if you’re not, but talk to me, okay?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Babe-”

“Like you tell me everything anyway,” Alec muttered, pulling free of his hold, leaving Caleb’s hand dropping to the table as he slowly pulled it back to him. The brunette’s gaze lowered back to his plate.

“You don’t trust me again?” he asked, feeling hurt at those words but he couldn’t let it get to him because Alec’s behavior was off and he obviously wasn’t himself at the moment. “Babe, talk to me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Alec-”

Alec’s gaze snapped back to his face, narrowed in a glare which was harsher than he thought it would be, leaving Caleb swallowing around that sudden lump in his throat because this was honest anger in those eyes. “Leave me _alone_.”

_Is that what you, want, babe?_

Maybe it was.

Caleb swallowed again and looked down at his mostly empty plate. Maybe what Alec needed was to be alone for a little while, think things through on his own, but Caleb didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave him like this because it was obvious something was wrong.

But if that was what Alec wanted…

What he _needed_ …

“Do you mean that?” he asked.

Alec didn’t answer. His fork scraped against his plate.

Caleb sighed, scrubbed a hand across his face, grabbed his plate and pushed to his feet. He was almost to the door when a wrist caught his hand, forcefully yanking him back, and he spun to find Alec standing right behind him, eyes no longer narrowed in a glare but instead this wide, open expression which left Caleb’s mind reeling.

“Babe?”

“Don’t,” Alec said.

“Don’t…?”

“Don’t go,” the brunette said quietly, Adam’s apple bobbing harshly as he swallowed. “I’m sorry, I just… Stay.”

Caleb watched the brunette for a long moment, before he sighed and gave into a slow nod. Good – he didn’t want to leave anyway, but he was willing to give Alec space if that was what he needed.

“Okay, babe,” he said quietly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Why?”

“… Dad?”

“Why’d you let us die, Alec?”

“What? I-”

“ _Please, ‘lec.”_

“ _Please, babe.”_

_“For me.”_

Alec woke to someone hovering over him. Instinctively he swung even as his eyes attempted to adjust to the light in the room. Caleb caught his swinging fist before it could make contact with his face, carefully easing that hand back down onto the bed covers as the blonde sat next to him, green eyes narrowed, brows furrowed.

“Babe? Are you okay?”

“Just a dream,” Alec muttered, swallowing as he looked up at the ceiling. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

“Alec-”

“Drop it.”

He didn’t want to talk about it. He realized he was probably behaving unfairly to Caleb, especially after the blonde only just got to return to their room, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to talk about any of this and he didn’t need to bother Caleb with this, either. The blonde was already trying to heal from the blood loss and everything. He didn’t need this.

Plus, Alec wasn’t sure he could discuss this even if he _wanted_ to.

“Babe,” Caleb said quietly, and Alec finally looked away from the ceiling to frown at the blonde. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t need help,” he said, closing his eyes. “Go back to sleep, Caleb.”

Then he rolled over, back facing the blonde even as he swallowed because he didn’t like behaving this way, but there was little he could do about it. The blonde shifted on the bed and for a moment Alec was tempted to roll back over, grab his hand and make him _stay_ because while he couldn’t talk about it right now and didn’t want to keep thinking about it, that didn’t mean he wanted Caleb to leave.

_Don’t go._

He didn’t turn over, though. Instead he reached out with his foot until it connected with Caleb’s leg, a sure sign the blonde was, in fact, still there and laying down in bed, not shifting to leave.

He kept his foot there, against the warm skin, as he tried to get back to sleep.

 

The next day wasn’t any better.

The thought of food left Alec gagging, swallowing down the bile in his throat, even as Caleb pushed the plate toward him, green eyes narrowed determinedly.

“Eat, babe.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Didn’t ask if you were hungry.”

Alec shook his head, pushing the plate away. “I’ll eat later.”

“You won’t.”

The blonde knew him too well.

“Caleb, I can’t,” he said quietly, hoping he’d understand.

“You need to,” Caleb replied. “I know you don’t want to, for whatever reason, but I’m worried about you, babe. Eat something – for me.”

_For me._

Alec’s fingers curled around his fork and stabbed down on a carrot. He couldn’t taste anything when he chewed but he found it didn’t make him more sick to his stomach. He just didn’t taste it, barely registered the fact there was food in his mouth but at least now if he _did_ throw up he’d have something to puke, instead of dry heaving.

He ate only half before he dropped his fork onto his plate, shaking his head.

“Okay,” Caleb said quietly, pulling the plate away from him, “that’s fine, babe, you’re doing good.”

_You must think I’m pathetic, huh?_

How could he not? Alec had absolutely no reason to feel this way. He didn’t have a cold so he wasn’t technically sick. He hadn’t been the one knocked unconscious for days on end. He wasn’t the one constantly having his blood drawn. There was no reason to feel this way because none of those things happened to _him_.

Yet that changed nothing.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

_Sorry you have to put up with me. Sorry for worrying you._

“Want to talk about it?”

He shook his head.

“Okay, babe,” Caleb said. “Come take a nap with me.”

Simple, easy instructions which did not involve talking or food. Alec pushed to his feet and followed the blonde toward the bed, leaving his half empty plate on the small table in the room. He slipped under the covers even as Caleb’s fingers laced with his own, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

 _I’m here,_ the squeeze said.

_I know. I appreciate it._

Caleb’s presence was probably the only thing keeping him even the least bit focused, keeping him even the least bit _okay_ even though he wasn’t sure why he felt this way, or what was wrong. Physically he was fine, except he was losing weight because food held little meaning to him for the time being.

The fingers of Caleb’s free hand slid tentatively across his shoulder. He swallowed but didn’t pull away. He didn’t like pulling away from the blonde but somehow staying closer was just as hard.

He returned Caleb’s previous squeeze and closed his eyes, though he doubted sleep would come. It was rather elusive these days despite his fatigue and lack of energy. Nightmares woke him every chance they got and he feared sleeping because of them. One day he might hurt Caleb, as he almost did before, attempting to punch him. He might say the wrong thing and screw everything up. Caleb might think he was pathetic. Alec wouldn’t blame him, either.

_I’m sorry I’m like this. I don’t know why._

He truly didn’t know why he felt like this, why everything still felt so wrong even though he had what he wanted – Caleb was awake. He was okay, he was _safe_. Alec himself was safe too, here in the lab.

And yet this did very little to ease his mind.

 

“ _Please, ‘lec.”_

“No – leave me alone. Go away!”

“ _Please, babe.”_

“Stop!”

“Why didn’t you save us?”

“Shut up!” Alec snarled, eyes snapping open as he came awake, instantly sitting up, shoving the warm body away from him. There was a thump and he looked around, frowning when he saw no one in bed with him. He crawled across it and looked down, finding Caleb sitting up on the floor, rubbing his head as he shot a glare at Alec.

“What was that for?”

Alec swallowed. “I’m _sorry_ , I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Caleb said, climbing back onto the bed. “What was that all about? Dreams again?”

Alec could only nod, looking away from the blonde and down in his lap instead.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Caleb sighed. “Okay, babe. Think you can get back to sleep?”

He shook his head because he was fairly certain that wasn’t going to happen.

“Okay,” Caleb said. “C’mon.”

Alec frowned, looking back over at the blonde to see him climbing out of bed, toeing on his shoes. He watched him for a moment, confused, but then jumped to his feet when Caleb moved toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Let’s go eat.”

“I… I’m not hungry.”

“That wasn’t a suggestion, babe.”

Narrowed green eyes looked at him as his hand pulled open the door.

“C’mon, Alec.”

Alec sighed and nodded, scrubbing a hand across his face before he put his shoes on as well and followed the blonde out of the room. They made it to the cafeteria soon enough and Alec sat at a table. He wasn’t aware anyone else was sitting there until he heard someone growl. Looking up he found Fix sitting at the other end of the table, Nixa across from him. Fix was clearly irritated and looked pretty rough.

Spear had yet to wake up even though Zeke took him off the anesthesia nearly a week ago. Alec hoped he would wake up but somehow it didn’t seem very likely. Even Caleb was losing hope despite how much he knew the blonde was trying to stay positive about it.

Fix’s gaze landed on him, his eyes narrowing into angry slits.

Alec frowned. It wasn’t his fault Spear wasn’t awake. Nixa said something to Fix and he looked away, sighing. Alec looked up as Caleb sat across from him with two plates in hand and two glasses of water. He pushed a plate toward Alec and shoved a fork in his hand.

“I’m not hungry.”

Caleb’s eyes narrowed. “Eat, Alec.”

There was no arguing with him. He wouldn’t let him leave the cafeteria until he ate something, and he knew he needed to eat anyway. Though he didn’t actively feel hunger at the moment, he knew he needed the food.

Sighing, he started eating.

A minute later Luka stood behind Caleb, saying something. Alec looked up from his food and watched as Caleb nodded and got to his feet. Instantly those steel bands were back and he nearly choked on his food as he tried to talk.

“Where are you going?”

“Zeke wants to see me.”

“What for?”

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know, he just said it was important. I’ll be back soon, babe. Finish eating.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, you need to eat.”

“Caleb-”

“No, babe. I’ll be back soon. You really need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t want to argue.”

“Then I’m going with you.”

He shoved the plate away and got to his feet. In the next second Caleb was at his side, hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down. He blinked, unaware the blonde could move that fast. Or maybe he was just too tired to notice, he wasn’t sure.

“ _Stay_ , Alec.”

The blonde looked at Luka.

“Make sure he stays and eats.”

With that he turned on his heel and walked out of the cafeteria. Alec watched him until he lost sight of the blonde, bile rising in his throat again. But he stayed because that was what Caleb wanted and he honestly felt too tired to move right now. Plus Luka was now sitting across from him and he had no doubt the kid would follow Caleb’s orders to the letter.

So he stayed and he ate.

Five minutes later he threw up.

 

Caleb found him just outside of the lab, on his way to see him and make sure things were okay. The two nearly collided and Caleb’s hands reached out, steadying him.

“Did you eat?”

Alec nodded.

Caleb sighed. “Okay. Good.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing bad,” Caleb assured him. “Zeke is pretty sure he knows how to disperse the treatment.”

He frowned. “I hear a ‘but’ in there.”

Caleb nodded. “Yeah, you do. The treatment will only work on the zephroes for right now.”

“Isn’t that what this was for?”

Weren’t they trying to get rid of the zephroes, make them less smart?

“Yeah,” Caleb said, “but he was also hoping to do something about the neutrohales, too. That’s why he needed both of our blood.”

“Why?”

He knew Zeke had been taking both Caleb and Spear’s blood, but wasn’t that so they could make this treatment which would make the zephroes practically brain dead? Wasn’t that the whole point of knocking them out and continuously taking their blood?

“Well… my blood was for the zephroes,” Caleb said. “Because I was injected with ZM. But Spear was injected with NM.”

_Neutrohale mutation._

“So… he should technically be a neutrohale?” he asked, just to clarify he was hearing Caleb correctly.

“Something like that,” Caleb said, “but he’s like me – pretty much immune. But since he was injected with NM, his blood can help with a similar treatment for the neutrohales. It’s why he needed us both. And he also didn’t want it to take as long and take everything from one person so he used us both.”

“So… would this not have worked without Spear?”

“Well, even if I wasn’t here, Spear’s blood could help with the ZM treatment, too. It was a mutated version of ZM that created the neutrohales as well, what the NM injection was made from. Does that make sense?”

_Not really._

He shook his head.

Caleb sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. “It’s kind of complicated, but I’ll try to explain it the best I can. I was injected with the ZM – I had leukemia. Spear was injected with the NM – he had AIDS.”

“AIDS?” Alec echoed. “How?”

Spear wasn’t that much older than them, after all. If Caleb was a kid when he was injected with the ZM strain, how could Spear have had AIDS?

“Not from sex,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “He stepped on a nail. It just so happened someone else also stepped on that nail before him – someone with AIDS, so he got HIV and it worked through him quickly. The NM strain was a last resort. Do you understand?”

Alec’s head was spinning. “Um… I think so,” he said uncertainly. “But if he needs Spear’s blood for a treatment for the neutrohales, why can’t he make it? That’s why he knocked you guys out, right? To get more blood without hurting you?”

“That’s where it gets complicated.”

Alec sighed, shaking his head. “How complicated?”

Caleb shrugged. “Well, it takes time and he needs more blood for it to even begin to work. Right now he’s putting everything into the ZM treatment, so there’s nothing for the NM one yet. And he doesn’t want to take more from Spear until he wakes up.”

_If he wakes up._

“My head hurts.”

Caleb’s smile was tired but genuine. “Yeah, babe. Mine too. It’s complicated. But that’s what I took away from the conversation. He just wanted to let me know he also found a way to disperse it.”

“Oh, right,” Alec said, having forgotten about that. “Okay, so how?”

“The only logical way is for it to become airborne and travel across the world. It will take time, but it’ll eventually get everywhere and the zephroes will eventually be effected enough to become brain dead.”

“So how do we get it airborne?”

“An explosion. Big one.”

“How big?”

Caleb sighed, chewing on his lower lip before he finally nodded, as though finding the appropriate words. Alec watched him patiently. Focusing on this conversation was so much easier than focusing on his dreams and everything.

Plus it gave him hope for the future.

Gave him hope they’d both be there at the end, after all.

Caleb’s answer left him reeling, though.

_How big?_

“We need to blow up Yellowstone National Park.”


	47. Chapter Forty-Seven: A Matter of Importance

Chapter Forty-Seven: A Matter of Importance

 

Yellowstone National Park was a place of geysers, which were pockets of steam which shot into the air when the land beneath it grew too hot. It was also labeled as a super volcano and should it ever erupt, it could potentially leave ash covering the world. The volcano itself was dormant and had been for many years, but if they set off an explosion somewhere beneath the surface, it would shoot through the geysers all over the park and spread it through the air. Eventually this would travel across the globe and within time, the zephroes would get gone.

In theory, anyway.

Alec was still reeling from the fact Zeke wanted to blow up Yellowstone National Park. It was hard to wrap his mind around. Where would they even get the dynamite? How would they make it explode? If they were anywhere near the explosives, they’d be killed instantly, but would need to be there to set it off. It was a suicide mission.

Caleb didn’t give him too many details because he himself didn’t know, but he did know Zeke was trying to fix this problem, attempting to find a way to get everyone out alive. Alec hoped he’d find a way but he was doubtful because remote triggers were rather short range and with the radius this explosion needed to be, he didn’t think anywhere would be far enough away to safely set it off.

Zeke was going to keep working on it, though. He said if they wanted to also get rid of the neutrohales, Spear would have to wake up and he’d have to make a treatment from his blood which would take time, and this was assuming Spear _did_ wake up. Alec hoped he did because Fix was looking rougher by the day, and he didn’t dislike the guy. He was a good man and the person in charge of an entire community, though he apparently left someone else in charge. He needed to get better and get back to his people.

But as time kept going it was starting to look like he’d never wake up.

“Babe.”

Alec blinked, startled from his thoughts as he looked across the table at the blonde, who was smiling at him. “Huh?”

Caleb’s smile grew. “I challenge you to a game.”

“A… A game?” Alec echoed, the word foreign on his lips because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard it, the last time he’d done something like that. Too many years.

“Yes,” Caleb said, pulling out a deck of cards, grinning at him. “I challenge you to a game of Go Fish.”

Alec found himself laughing because this was just too absurd. “You’re crazy.”

Caleb’s smile faltered. “You won’t play with me?”

“No – I will,” Alec said quickly, shaking his head. “I just… It’s been a while.”

“Go Fish is the easiest game in the world.”

He smiled. “I guess so. Alright, fine, let’s do this.”

Caleb chuckled and began dealing the cards. Once they were dealt he sat back in his chair, tipping it backward slightly, eying his cards covertly like Alec might develop X-ray vision in the next few seconds. Alec chuckled and shook his head even as he looked at his own cards.

“Got any eights?”

“Go fish.”

Alec sighed and drew a card from the deck.

“Sevens?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Go fish.”

Caleb drew a card. “So how are your dreams?”

Alec’s grip on his cards tightened. “What do you mean?”

“Are they better?”

Alec shook his head. “Got any fives?”

Caleb tossed him a card. “You can’t avoid this conversation forever, you know.”

“It’s nothing important.”

_Nothing you need to worry about._

They’d end eventually, right? He used to have nightmares all the time, after his family and after Silas, but they eventually went away. They’d leave again soon enough and he’d be fine.

“Babe, if it’s bothering you, it _is_ important,” Caleb said, watching him.

“Your turn.”

“Alright, threes.”

Alec tossed over two of them.

“Babe, I can’t help if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m fine.”

“Alec. Talk to me.”

A part of Alec knew Caleb would only continue to ask about it. Maybe if he told him something, he’d stop and leave it be. Then again, he didn’t want to bother him with his dreams because that was all they were – _dreams_. They couldn’t hurt him.

“Babe?”

Alec sighed. “They’re just nightmares. About… my family, and… and Silas. That’s all.”

“Why are you having them suddenly?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Is that why you haven’t been eating?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, I can understand the nightmares making you not sleep well, but why aren’t you eating?”

“I’m eating.”

“Babe, a bite here and there doesn’t constitute eating.”

Alec looked down at his cards, shrugging again. “I don’t know. I… don’t know.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I just… feel off. I don’t know why. I guess I’m just… worried.”

“About what?”

_About you. About the treatment. About the world. Everything._

“I don’t know.” He took in a slow breath. “I just… feel like something bad is waiting around the corner. I don’t know. It’s never bothered me before, but now…” He stopped there, unwilling to say more on the matter for the time being. “Got any twos?”

“Go fish,” Caleb said. “What are you worried about? What do you think is going to happen?”

“Caleb…”

“Talk to me, babe. C’mon. You’re doing good so far.”

“It’s not important. I don’t even know why I’m worried. Sorry.”

“Babe, you’re worrying me,” Caleb said quietly, and Alec slowly raised his gaze to the blonde’s face. “I know you think you need to keep it in, but I’m worried about you. So talk to me, okay?”

“I… I don’t…”

_I don’t know. I don’t know what to say._

He wasn’t sure _why_ he felt like this, why that knot was constantly in his stomach, why those steel bands were still constricting his lungs. All he knew was that he wished it would go away. He didn’t like worrying Caleb. The blonde had enough to worry about as it was, with the treatment and Spear and everything.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

The words slipped from his lips and after he spoke them, he quickly averted his gaze back toward his cards. He didn’t mean to say it, hadn’t realized he’d even been thinking it until those words were out of his mouth. It was silly, and childish, but suddenly it was all he could think about.

_I don’t want to lose you. I feel like I’m going to. Just like everyone else._

But he’d been worried about that for a while, right? Why was it suddenly bothering him _now_? Making him have nightmares, making him not hungry all the time…

_I’m pathetic. I’m sorry._

Caleb’s hand reached across the table, lightly grabbing his wrist, leaving him swallowing thickly. “Babe, look at me.”

The words were quiet and yet left no room for argument. Slowly, Alec looked back up at the blonde, those green eyes warm and light.

“I’m not going anywhere, babe. Okay?”

“You say that now, sure. But…”

_It could still happen. Probably will. Just like everyone else._

“You’re not gonna lose me,” Caleb said quietly. “And I’m not gonna lose you.”

Alec frowned. “You’re… worried about losing me?”

Did Caleb feel like this too? It wasn’t just him? Maybe it wasn’t so pathetic after all…

_Or maybe he’s just saying that to make me feel better._

“Of course I am,” Caleb said, releasing his wrist, sitting back in his chair. “I love you.”

Alec’s eyes widened, the air rushing from his lungs. “You… You do?”

“Of course I do, babe.”

“I…”

And his voice left him, just like it always did when he tried to say it, tried to let the blonde know.

_I love you, too. C’mon, say it. Say it. Or he’ll think you don’t._

He took in a slow breath. “I love you, too, Caleb.”

The grin on the blonde’s face was worth every minute Alec spent agonizing over how to say it, every failed attempt at doing so.

“Got any sixes?”

 

A knock at the door woke them that night. Alec blinked his eyes open, having only just gotten to sleep, as Caleb sat up and crawled out of bed, shuffling toward the door. He pulled it open to reveal Luka standing there, smiling at him.

“Spear’s awake,” Luka said happily.

Alec got to his feet, and soon the three of them were moving toward the medical area.

Spear was sitting up in bed, looking pale and confused. Fix was seated at his side, fingers carefully wrapped around Spear’s thin wrist. Spear’s gaze landed on them as they entered the room.

“Hey, guys,” he said, voice rough with misuse.

“You’re awake,” Caleb said, smiling as they approached the bed. “It’s about damn time. I woke up a long time ago.”

“Yeah,” Spear breathed, “so I heard.”

“How do you feel?”

“Sore. Tired, even though I was asleep for weeks.”

Caleb nodded. “Yeah, I felt the same. Fix, how are you?”

Fix didn’t look away from the bed. “I’m okay,” he said quietly.

Alec was happy Spear was finally awake and happy Fix would stop looking so downtrodden all the time. He could completely sympathize with the guy because if it had been Caleb who took this long to wake up… Well, he’d rather not think about it.

“Did Zeke tell you about Yellowstone National Park?” Spear asked, even as Fix’s spine stiffened.

_Straight to business, then._

“About blowing it up?” Caleb asked. “Yeah.”

He didn’t mention the separate treatments, or the fact more of Spear’s blood would be needed for the neutrohale treatment. Maybe Spear already knew, but Alec could respect Caleb’s decision to keep it quiet for now, if Spear didn’t know.

“Just like old times, eh, Cal?”

Caleb snorted. “One explosion, Spear. _One_. And it wasn’t my fault.”

Spear laughed tiredly, settling back into his stack of pillows. “So, fill me in, Humpty. What’d I miss?”

 

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“Please, babe.”_

Glazed brown eyes.

Glazed green eyes.

Alec’s eyes snapped open as he released a quick, heavy breath. A warm hand landed on his shoulder and he looked over to find Caleb sitting next to him. It was daylight, light filtering in through the window.

“You okay, babe?”

“Just a dream,” he muttered, sighing as he sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I wish they’d stop.”

“Me too, babe. Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. Just the usual stuff.”

Caleb nodded, releasing his shoulder. “Are you hungry?”

Alec’s stomach growled at the thought of food. The feeling was so foreign to him by now he almost didn’t recognize it. “Actually… I think I am.”

Caleb smiled. “That’s great. C’mon, let’s go eat.”

Alec nodded and followed the blonde out of bed.

A few minutes later they were seated in the cafeteria with two plates in front of them. Alec stabbed at a carrot and ate it, and to his surprise he could actually taste the food again. And it was as good as he remembered it.

He finished his food before Caleb and quietly sipped his drink until the blonde was done as well.

“I’m happy to see your appetite’s back,” Caleb said.

“Yeah, me too. I don’t know why, though.”

Caleb shrugged. “Don’t question it, just be happy it’s back.”

Alec nodded. He could do that.

_Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth._

Now that he thought about it, that ever present knot in his stomach wasn’t there anymore. The steel bands were, but they only bothered him if he thought about his dreams, so he decided not to think about them at all.

“Has Zeke figured out how to blow up Yellowstone National Park?” he asked, changing the subject.

Caleb shrugged. “He’s still working on that. But he’ll figure it out. Things will work out.”

“You believe that, huh?”

“ ‘course I do, babe. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

Alec had no answer.

“What do you want to do when this is over?”

Alec blinked, frowning as he looked up at the blonde. “When the treatment’s spread?”

Caleb nodded. “Yeah. What do you want to do after that?”

“I don’t know. Have a normal life?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice. Settling down.”

Alec nodded. “Yeah. And you’ll be there, right?”

Caleb smiled and the beginnings of that knot in his stomach dispersed as suddenly as they’d arrived. “I’ll be there, babe.”

_You better be._

He was reaching for his drink when alarms suddenly blared through the building. His hand froze mid-reach as his gaze connected with Caleb’s alarmed green eyes and they both looked around. The cook was also looking rather confused. Why would alarms be going off like this, through the whole building?

“What’s going on?”

Caleb shook his head. “I don’t know.” He got to his feet and Alec did the same.

_Maybe Zeke knows._

They didn’t make it out of the cafeteria.


	48. Chapter Forty-Eight: Attack

Chapter Forty-Eight: Attack

 

Alec wasn’t entirely sure what happened.

One minute he was next to Caleb, walking out of the cafeteria. The next, Caleb was pushing him to the ground, pinning him there as claws raked through where they previously stood. Caleb jumped to his feet and Alec looked up to find-

_Oh God._

The neutrohale was snarling, staring down at them with its yellow eyes. Behind it stood two zephroes, stepping into the room, their eyes landing on them. Caleb yanked Alec to his feet and shoved him back in the same movement, putting himself between Alec and the mutations, hand reaching toward where his belt usually was, but they were supposed to be safe here and thus there was no belt, and no knife or gun attached to that belt.

They had no weapons.

The zephroes’ claws were covered with blood, evidence of a fresh attack, a fresh kill. Alec swallowed, reaching for Caleb’s shoulder, taking a step back away from the mutations, dragging Caleb back with him. There would be knives in the cooking area if they could make it back there. It was their only chance.

“Babe,” Caleb said calmly. “Get a knife.”

And then he stepped away from Alec, waving his arms. The neutrohale zeroed in on him as the zephroes moved past the larger mutation, heading for Alec. Alec turned on his heel and ran even as his mind screamed at him to get back to Caleb, but they needed weapons or they’d all be killed anyway.

_Please be careful._

Claws raked against his back, sending him spiraling to the side, knocking hard into one of the tables. Pain laced through his veins but he pushed himself back up anyway, ducking under another barrage of claws before hurrying toward the back, kitchen area. The cook tossed him a knife as he grabbed another and turned, gaze searching the room for the blonde’s distinct form.

He found Caleb backed into a corner, the neutrohale rushing at him.

_No. No!_

He was too far away to do anything.

“Caleb!”

He ran anyway. Had to, couldn’t just stand there. Had to do something, stop it.

Caleb waited until the last possible second before he ducked and rolled to the side, slipping under the neutrohale’s sweeping claws before he came up running toward Alec. Alec forgot about the zephroes until claws raked against his calf, causing him to collapse, sliding forward across the ground. The second knife slipped from his grasp, sliding toward Caleb who snagged it on his way to Alec.

Alec rolled over and sat up as one of the zephroes lunged at him. But suddenly Caleb was there, sliding between the two of them, lashing out with his knife, catching the zephro in the throat. The zephro snarled even as blood poured from the wound, obviously hitting an artery. The wounded mutation stepped back as the second zephro took its place in front of Caleb as Alec jumped to his feet behind the blonde, turning so his back was against Caleb’s, the neutrohale lurking toward them.

Back to back, knives in hand, Alec hoped they’d get out of this alive but the odds weren’t in their favor. How did the mutations even get in here? Was that was those alarms were about? What was happening?

He couldn’t think about it right now, though. The neutrohale lunged and sidestepped his slash. Instinct left Alec ducking and rolling away from those claws. The claws barely missed Caleb’s back and the blonde spun, lashing out with his knife, catching the neutrohale on the wrist. A second later the un-wounded zephro tackled him.

Alec moved to help but was caught off by the neutrohale which lumbered between him and Caleb, veering toward the brunette as though giving the zephroes time to take care of the blonde. Were these mutations actually working together? Since when?

He took a few quick steps back, glancing over the neutrohale’s shoulder toward the pinned blonde. The wounded zephro moved toward its companion and Caleb even as the blonde brought his knife up, stabbing the one pinning him, catching it in the stomach.

Alec’s view was obscured, then, as the neutrohale lunged and ducked beneath his blade, backhanding him with its claws. He staggered back a few more steps, wrapping an arm around his middle, pain lacing through him, every wound stinging violently but he had to stay focused or they’d never get out of this alive.

Caleb’s cry of pain left his mind reeling and for a moment, he faltered. In that moment the neutrohale lunged again and he wasn’t ready for it, couldn’t possibly bring his knife up in time. He squeezed his eyes tightly closed even as he lurched to the side, but he knew deep down it would be entirely too late.

A gun fired. The pain never came and Alec opened his eyes as he hit the ground, having jumped to the side. He rolled and got to his feet, looking the direction of his saving grace to find Nixa standing there, reloading her pistol as she determinedly stepped further into the cafeteria. Behind her stood the cook with a pistol of his own, which he shot past Alec.

Alec spun to find the blonde on his knees, palms on the ground as he hunched forward, panting as the zephro dropped away from him, a hole through the head. Alec moved to rush to the blonde’s side but was cut off by the second and last zephro which shoved him to the side, directly into the neutrohale’s raging path. A gun fired and the neutrohale punched him in the stomach – at least that was what it felt like, but it might have just been because the mutation dodged the gun, slamming into him.

Winded, he staggered back, lashing out with his knife, knuckles white with his death grip. He caught the mutation in the neck of all places and it howled as it veered away from him, directly into Nixa’s waiting gun. She stood directly in front of the neutrohale, staring down the barrel at it as she pulled the trigger right in its face. It had no hope of dodged but it tried to anyway and the bullets clipped the side of its head. A second later the cook was also firing at it and Alec startled as the last zephro dropped dead at his feet.

He spun to find Caleb standing there. The blonde’s eyes widened when he saw him, a contorted expression overtaking his face and it was a look he did _not_ like seeing on the blonde. Still winded, he was a little shocked when his legs failed him, jelly under his weight and he dropped to his knees, trying to catch his breath.

A second later Caleb was in front of him, hands reaching out toward him, grasping his face in his hands. “Alec? Babe, stay with me.”

_Stay with you? I’m fine._

Just winded from being slammed into the neutrohale. Except as the adrenaline began to fade, the neutrohale just barely alive as it staggered in the direction of Nixa and the cook, he felt the pain. That punch to his stomach must have been harder than he thought because it was surprisingly hard to draw in the needed amount of air so his lungs would stop burning like they were and those steel bands could go away.

He wasn’t aware his eyes were closed, or that he was now lying flat on the ground until Caleb’s hands ghosted over where the neutrohale slammed into him. The pain was quick and sudden and wished Caleb would get off what had to be the worst bruise of his life, but it was too hard to draw in the breath to speak.

He did manage to pry his eyes open, though.

And looked down the length of his body toward Caleb’s blood-stained hands. For a minute the image wouldn’t compute and his blurred vision shifted toward the blonde, searching for where that blood could be coming from. The blonde was covered in cuts and looked pale, but other than that he couldn’t figure out why his hands were this bloody while his arms weren’t.

And then it hit him.

_Oh. I’ve been shot._

That was what the punch had been. Not the neutrohale, but a stray bullet.

The adrenaline let him ignore it until his body finally dragged him down.

“Babe?”

Caleb’s voice was rough and shaky, hands skimming along Alec’s stomach, pressing down until Alec saw dark spots in his vision, pain reeling through him. “S-top,” he breathed, and it was incredibly hard to talk.

“Stay with me,” Caleb said. “Do you hear me? Babe, no, don’t close your eyes.”

He blinked his eyes open, unaware they’d closed. The lids were entirely too heavy like anvils were resting on them and they kept drifting shut despite his best efforts. “ ‘aleb?”

“You’re okay,” Caleb breathed. “You’re gonna be okay, just stay with – No, Alec, I said open your eyes!”

He tried. Tried so damn _hard_ but the lids barely twitched and he tasted blood in the back of his throat, bubbling up into his mouth. Coughing left his chest aching and did very little to clear away the blood, and it was that much harder to breathe.

“No, no, stay,” Caleb said, the sticky liquid a hot trail across the side of Alec’s face as the blonde cupped it with one hand. “Alec! Don’t you dare! Breathe!”

_Trying. Can’t._

“ ‘aleb…”

Almost as suddenly as he felt the pain, it dispersed. Felt like he was floating. Peaceful and relaxing, this feeling was. He’d smile if he had the strength. As it was his lips barely twitched, blood bubbling in his mouth, dripping out of the corner and down the side of his cheek.

A second later he was lifted but again, there was no pain. It was like his whole body was this numb, floating cloud. Blood dripped out of his mouth as a hand pounded against his back, which left him coughing up the hot, sticky liquid burning his throat.

“ _Please_ ,” Caleb said, his skin warm to the touch as he dropped his forehead onto Alec’s. Shaky breaths ran across his face, or maybe that was just his own attempt at breathing.

Either way he struggled to open his eyes and pull away from that peaceful feeling because he hated the sound of Caleb’s voice. It never should have sounded like that.

His lungs constricted further, blood thick and heavy in his mouth.

“ _No_ – you stay – Alec, don’t you fucking _dare_ – _don’t leave me-_ ”

The calm, floating feeling engulfed him then, and his breath as more of a sigh barely escaping his lips, Caleb’s voice suddenly too far away to hear, the touch of his skin nonexistent.

His lungs stopped working, but somehow he was okay with that. There was no pain.

And then he knew no more.


	49. Chapter Forty-Nine: Difference of Opinion

Chapter Forty-Nine: Difference of Opinion

 

To Alec’s surprise, he actually woke up.

That in and of itself was a miracle, he was sure, because wasn’t there always a peace before death? It was why when Caleb was bleeding out after the neutrohale stabbed him, he hated hearing the blonde mention the fact it didn’t hurt anymore.

His eyes snapped open and his arms moved beneath him automatically, pushing into a sitting position. Except he didn’t make it because a warm hand splayed across his chest, gently forcing him back down. His gaze latched onto Caleb’s warm green eyes and he could breathe again.

“I’m… alive?” he murmured.

Caleb nodded, smiling at him even as his free hand caught Alec’s hand, entwining their fingers and squeezing tightly. “Yeah, Alec,” he said quietly. “You’re alive.”

“How…?”

“Zeke arrived just as you stopped breath.” Caleb took in a slow, uneasy breath. “And don’t you ever fucking do that again, Alec. Do you hear me?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Caleb said with a nod. “Just… _fuck_ , Alec. I watched you…” His exhale was quick and shaky, his eyes sliding closed as he drew in another breath. “I watched you _die_.”

“Die?” Alec echoed, frowning somewhat.

If he died then how was he here?

“You… Your heart stopped for a good three minutes. We… We barely got you back.”

Alec winced, the muscles and joints in his hand suddenly crying out with pain as Caleb’s grip squeezed a little too hard. The blonde noticed and yanked his hand away, averting his gaze to the ground as Alec’s fingers dropped down onto the sheets beneath him, curling somewhat into the fabric.

“Sorry,” Caleb murmured, scrubbing a hand across his face. “It’s just… _fuck_. You were _gone_ …”

_Now you know how I felt._

Except that was a horrible thought. He wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone, especially Caleb of all people. He lifted his hand to catch Caleb’s, but his limbs were tired, his muscles aching and it was too much work to lift it very far. Luckily Caleb took pity on him and caught his hand again.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Caleb shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, Alec. Just… don’t do it again.”

Alec nodded. “What happened after I… blacked out?”

It was easier thinking of it that way than to think about the fact he might have actually been _dead_ for a few minutes.

He wasn’t aware his grip on Caleb’s hand had tightened until the blonde’s thumb smoothed over his white knuckles.

“The neutrohale bit the cook,” Caleb said quietly. “We… We had to kill him.”

Alec swallowed, closing his eyes. Of course they had to kill him if a neutrohale bit him – he would just turn into one of them if he survived the process. Better to just end it quickly and not risk it, but still, he felt bad about the cook’s death.

“Who shot me?”

“I don’t know,” Caleb murmured, and Alec opened his eyes to see him shaking his head. “Either the cook or Nixa. They both had pistols, same type of bullets. Zeke dug it out of you when you were stable enough to… to move.” He took in a breath. “I can’t believe you got _shot_ of all things.”

“I know, right?” Alec shook his head, sighing. “I mean, in the midst of a neutrohale and two zephroes, it’s a stray bullet.”

Caleb nodded, grip on Alec’s hand tightening marginally. Alec’s returning squeeze left the blonde smiling faintly. “I’m glad you’re okay, Alec.”

Alec smiled back, though tired it was. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Glad you’re okay, too. Is… Is everyone else?”

Caleb nodded. “You got the worst of it. Two zephroes attacked the medical area and caught Spear unaware but Fix was there, thankfully. Together they killed them. Luka was with Koda and was near the medical area, so it worked out okay for them.”

Alec yawned, settling comfortably into his pillows. “So how’d they get in, anyway? And why was a neutrohale working with zephroes? I thought they hated each other.”

“They did,” Caleb said with a brief nod. “But apparently they got over it. They broke in through a side door which has been boarded up for a while, but apparently together they managed to break through. That’s why the alarms went off – it was the security system. As for _why_ they broke in… that’s a little more complicated.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

Caleb shook his head, sighing as he retracted his hand, releasing Alec’s fingers. “We’ll talk about that later, Alec. It’s complicated and you look tired.”

“Caleb…”

_I’m okay. I’m fine._

Except his eyelids _were_ beginning to droop and sleep sounded amazing at the moment, so he sighed and gave into a slow nod. “You’re gonna tell me later.”

Caleb nodded. “I will. Sleep, Alec.”

Alec closed his eyes and did exactly that.

 

When he next woke he found himself alone. The room was dark and quiet and he pushed his elbows under him, sitting up with a tired groan as he looked around the room, scanning it for a head of strawberry blonde hair, but he found Caleb was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, he slid out of bed and staggered forward a few steps, groaning as his sore muscles ached with misuse. How long had been here? How long had it been since the attack? He forgot to ask earlier.

It must have been a while because when he lifted his shirt to look at his stomach, the wound was stitched up nicely and appeared to be healing pretty well though there was dark bruising around it and around his chest, over his heart. He assumed it was CPR and shuddered at the thought, dropping his shirt back down.

He padded quietly out of the room and found Zeke in the main medical area, looking through a few stacks of paper, the only light in the room the lamp on his desk. He looked up as Alec walked through the doorway and smiled at him.

“I trust you are feeling better?”

Alec nodded. “Yeah. Where’s Caleb?”

“He’s in there with Spear,” Zeke said, gesturing. “Around the corner to the left.”

“Thanks.”

He left the room and entered the hallway, moving around the corner and into the aforementioned room. He found Spear and Caleb having what looked like a rather heated discussion at the small table in the room. Caleb was on his feet, hands clenched into fists at his sides, and Spear was sitting at the table, glaring up at him. He caught Alec’s eye and snapped his mouth shut, clearing his throat. Caleb turned and smiled at him, the anger leaving his stance just like that.

“You’re awake,” Caleb said. “How do you feel?”

“Better,” Alec admitted, frowning as he approached the two of them. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“No,” Caleb said. “Not really. We were just… We have different opinions about something.” He tossed Spear a quick glare and Spear sighed, getting to his feet.

“We’ll discuss this later,” he said somewhat angrily as he moved toward the doorway and left the room. Caleb sighed and collapsed into Spear’s empty chair, scrubbing a hand across his face. Alec sat at the chair across the table, feeling slightly winded even though he hadn’t even walked that far.

“What was that all about?”

Caleb shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just… No. It’s nothing.”

“Caleb. Talk to me.”

Caleb got to his feet. “Are you hungry? I can fix you something since… well. Since the cook’s dead. Oh, crap, you’re probably thirsty. I’ll get you a drink. Wait here.”

And then he left the room before Alec could get a word in edge wise. He frowned, watching the blonde leave, before he sighed and shook his head. He could follow him and potentially collapse in the hallway or sit here and wait because he knew Caleb would return with water and maybe some food. He chose to wait.

_What were they arguing about?_

He’d never seen the two of them argue before. They always appeared rather understanding of each other. They had to be, since they were essentially both injected with the strains of the mutations. Alec could only image how hard that must have been for them, being some of the only ones to survive while everyone else around them turned into those _things_. They were lucky to get out alive.

There was a quiet knock at the door and Alec looked to see Zeke entering the room. He frowned, wonder what he was doing here.

“Is everything okay?”

Zeke nodded. “Yes, I believe so. I was just hoping Spear and Caleb thought about what I said.”

“And what’s that?” Alec asked, frowning. Was this what they were arguing about? If so he wanted to know what was going on, and what it was Zeke said to them. Also, what was so ‘complicated’ Caleb couldn’t have told him about it earlier?

_Is he keeping secrets again?_

He had no right to judge him, though, as he’d kept his dreams and worries a secret from the blonde, unintentionally worrying him in the process. It was exactly what he told Caleb not to do to him and yet he was a hypocrite.

“The mutations broke in here to stop me from making the treatment,” Zeke said.

Alec’s eyes widened. “How do they _know_?”

Their thought processes couldn’t have been _that_ evolved, could they? Then again they were using _weapons_ now and not just their claws, and they were even working together toward a common goal. Not just the zephroes but the neutrohales as well.

_Things are just going to get worse, aren’t they?_

A knot formed in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was because he couldn’t remember the last time he ate, or because of the images that thought poured into his mind.

“I’m not entirely sure, but they ransacked the lab before going to cafeteria.”

“You… still have the treatment though, right?”

Otherwise it was all for nothing. The journey to get the last of those herbs, the blood withdrawals, putting Spear and Caleb into a medically induced coma for days on end… It was all for nothing if the treatment was gone now.

Thankfully, Zeke shook his head and that knot loosened a little. “It wasn’t in the lab. I was keeping it in a separate, cooling area so the blood stays fresh. They didn’t make it into the freezer. However, this does pose a problem.”

“A… A problem?”

“Yes. We can’t have them interfering with the treatment. If they’re learning as quickly as it seems they are, then we need to improvise.”

“Improvise?”

“That’s enough,” Caleb suddenly snapped, entering the room with a plate in his hand and a drink in his other, green eyes narrowed at Zeke. Zeke frowned and stepped away from the table as Caleb approached it, setting down the plate and drink in front of Alec.

“What’s enough?” Alec asked.

_Are you angry? Why? What’s going on?_

“Zeke was just getting back to his work,” Caleb muttered, not sparing the man or Alec a second glance as he sat across from the brunette, gaze focused solely on the table.

Zeke sighed. “I do hope you talk to Spear soon, Caleb.”

“Already did.”

“And?”

Caleb took in a breath and shook his head. “Not here. Not right now. We’ll talk about it later.”

Zeke nodded even as Alec watched them, confused. “Very well, Caleb. I’m sorry for putting this on your shoulders. It was never my intention to use-”

“That’s _enough_ ,” Caleb snapped, glaring at the man, tearing his gaze away from the table. “We’ll discuss it _later_.”

Zeke sighed and nodded, turning to leave the room. Alec watched the blonde sitting across from him as Caleb sighed and put his elbows on the table, resting his head in his hands, looking… _resigned_.

“Caleb?” he asked quietly, that knot tightening anew in his stomach. “What’s going on?”

If his voice sounded like a scared child, he wouldn’t doubt it. Nothing about this situation made sense, nothing about Spear and Caleb’s argument made sense, and neither did Zeke’s words. This was all putting a very foul taste in his mouth and suddenly the scent of food left him gagging as he shoved the plate away.

The sound of the plate sliding across the table had Caleb lifting his head somewhat, frowning at the brunette. Alec caught his eye.

“What’s going on?” he asked softly. “Tell me.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Alec.”

“Caleb. Tell me.”

_Even if I won’t like it, just tell me._

“It’s…” Caleb sighed. “It’s nothing bad.”

Alec nodded. “Okay. But tell me. Remember? If you have to worry about worrying me, it’s something you need to tell me.”

Caleb sighed and nodded slowly, averting his gaze back down toward the table. “The mutations broke in to destroy the treatment.”

“Yeah, Zeke said that. What else?”

“He’s thinking of a way to keep them from managing to get it, from managing to… destroy it or set it off before it’s ready.”

_Before it’s in Yellowstone National Park, you mean._

Alec nodded. “Okay. What’s his solution?”

“He’s trying to… to make it locked onto our fingerprints and everything so… only we can work the trigger mechanism.”

“And how does he plan to have us blow up the park?”

This was something they still needed to talk about, after all. He couldn’t think of a safe way to do it without risking someone’s life.

“He’s working on that,” Caleb murmured. “He’s trying a remote trigger. But nothing’s definite yet.”

“So why were you and Spear arguing?”

“We just have different opinions about some things,” Caleb said, shrugging. “People argue. We don’t always agree on everything. Anyway, that’s not important right now. It’s between me and him… no offence.”

Alec sighed, nodding. “Okay. None taken.”

He could respect Caleb’s privacy, as long as he got the needed information and it was nothing bad. If he and Spear wanted to bicker about something, friends argued sometimes. There was little he could do about it.

Caleb pushed his plate back his way. “Eat, Alec.”

Alec nodded, reaching for his fork.


	50. Chapter Fifty: Distance

Chapter Fifty: Distance

 

The next few days were spent ensuring that the perimeter was secure, which meant they had to really make sure the side entrances were safe and not just boarded up, and that the security system was still working. They also made a safety plan in case something or someone broke in again, so they could all meet up somewhere and go from there. They were all supposed to carry a weapon of sort with them at all times now.

Alec didn’t like any of this because the lab was supposed to be _safe_. That was why they were here, but apparently nowhere was safe. If the mutations really _were_ working together like it seemed they were, and they really knew about this treatment somehow and were trying to stop them from using it, then he doubted a few reinforced doors would stop them. Maybe next time they showed up, it would be over a dozen of them. Nothing would be strong enough to stop them except maybe a thick wall or steel doors. As it was, the side doors were still vulnerable to attack.

He could almost feel a clock ticking, hear the ‘tick-tick-tick’ of it as the time wound down to an end point he wasn’t sure he’d like. That knot in his stomach was ever-present and yet there was little he could do about it. Everyone was on edge, not just him, and to his knowledge Caleb and Spear had yet to work through their differences. Every time he asked about their argument he got the same answer – from both of them. It was between the two of them, and apparently Zeke knew about it too, but that was the extent of Alec’s knowledge.

He kept asking the blonde about it but Caleb had a nifty way of sidetracking him every time he asked. Usually with soft touches and warm words which usually led to their bed. Alec enjoyed the time they spent together, but he couldn’t help but feel Caleb was still hiding something. The blonde said it was nothing important, and nothing bad, but then why was he being so shifty whenever he asked about it?

He couldn’t make Caleb tell him, though. The blonde would just think he didn’t trust him and that simply wasn’t the case. He was just concerned. He wasn’t used to Caleb and Spear arguing like this. Every time they saw each other they’d kind of get this narrow-eyed look. Fix seemed just as confused as Alec, so Spear wasn’t saying anything about it, either. Maybe it really _was_ just between Caleb and Spear. He could respect their privacy, but it did leave him feeling as though Caleb didn’t trust him enough to tell him what they were arguing about. Again, though, privacy, so he wouldn’t argue… for the time being, anyway. If this continued, though, he’d corner the blonde and make him tell him and wouldn’t let himself get sidetracked.

Currently they were looking through medical inventory. They’d have to travel to Yellowstone National Park to disperse the treatment and needed to be ready for the journey. Alec wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming trip because they could very well die on the way there and all of this would have been for nothing. If the mutations were really getting smarter as fast as it seemed like they were…

He didn’t want to think about their odds.

Instead he packed a few needles into a med kit, along with some antibiotics and thread for stitches.

Caleb tossed a wad of bandaging at his head. It bounced off and landed on the table, and Alec looked over at the blonde to see him smiling.

“Was that necessary?” he asked, picking the wad up and throwing it back toward the blonde, who caught it easily.

“Yes,” Caleb said. “Definitely necessary.”

Alec laughed. Caleb looked so serious. “Are you hungry?”

“Depends,” Caleb said, smirking. “What’s on the menu?”

Alec scowled. “Well not me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The blonde pouted. “Aw, that’s no fun.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes even as he chuckled and stepped toward the blonde, edging him up against the side of the table. Caleb grinned, arms easily slipping around his waist, pulling him closer as Alec’s own arms wound around the blonde’s neck. Warm, soft lips trailed across his jawline, down his neck toward his collarbone before moving back up, finally connecting with his own lips. His grip on the blonde tightened as he deepened their kiss, tongue lightly flicking across the blonde’s mouth, silently asking for entrance.

Caleb granted him the entrance even as he spun the two of them, Alec’s back now against the wall next to the table, the blonde easily pinning him there, but Alec had no desire to move away. Instead he leaned further against the wall, pulling the blonde toward him. Fingers that were not his own tangled in his hair, one hand slipping free of his waist, the other hand still settled lightly on his hip. His own fingers lightly tangled in the hair at the nape of Caleb’s neck.

Zeke gave them all a haircut a while ago but it was steadily growing back. He said their hair would need to be cut again before they left. It was too easy for the mutations to grab hold of their hair, if they were indeed learning as quickly as it seemed they were. It was just a precaution.

So for the time being, Alec took advantage of the blonde’s slightly longer hair, hanging down just past his ears.

“Caleb,” he murmured, “I-”

“Get a room.”

Caleb sighed and released his grip on Alec, stepping away from him as he turned to glare at Nixa, who stood in the doorway, smirking at the two of them, arms folded easily across her chest. Her hair was also cropped short although it was getting a bit longer now as well. It was down to her eyebrows again.

“We have a room,” Caleb said. “Get out of it.”

She laughed and entered the room completely. “Zeke wants to know how the medical stuff’s coming. But I can see you’re a bit distracted.”

Alec’s ears burned even as he looked away from her, focusing instead on the table where the med kits sat, mostly empty because they were supposed to be filling them.

“I have no regrets,” Caleb said, grin evident in his voice. Alec scowled and elbowed him in the side. “ _Ow_ , babe, you have sharp freakin’ elbows. Shave them down!”

“That sounds painful,” Nixa said, and Alec looked back up at her. “Also, Spear wants to see you.”

The blonde stiffened next to him. He didn’t have to look at him to know the smile was long gone from his face, for whatever reason. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to him later.”

“He said it was important,” she said. “And that he wants to talk now.”

“Yeah, well, I’m busy right now.”

“What’s going on between you two?” Alec asked, frowning at the blonde.

Caleb shook his head. “Nothing. Just a difference of opinion.”

“Yeah, well, get over it,” Nixa said, shaking her head. “This is childish. There are bigger things to worry about than petty arguments.”

Caleb sighed, nodding slowly. “Yeah,” he muttered, “I guess so.”

“Also, Zeke’s with Spear. He said you all need to talk.”

“Fuckin’ _great_ ,” Caleb muttered, scrubbing a hand across his face as he gave into another nod. “Yeah, okay.” He looked at Alec. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Keep packing.”

“I can go with you if-”

“No, that’s okay,” Caleb said, shaking his head quickly as he walked around the table, toward the doorway.

Alec scowled, moving to follow after him. “Yeah, well, I’ll come just the same.”

_I’m worried about you._

It wasn’t like Caleb to have an argument this long, to hold such a grudge about something. He wanted to know what was going on.

Caleb stopped in the doorway. The looked he settled on Alec was closed off, shuttered, and left him staggering to a halt.

“Stay,” Caleb said. “This is between me and Spear.”

“But, Caleb-”

“Not buts. Finish packing.”

The blonde glared at him until he nodded slowly, and then spun on his heel and left the room. Alec swallowed, watching after him for a moment, before Nixa’s hand landed on his shoulder.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” she said.

But somehow, she didn’t sound entirely convinced.

_Yeah. I hope it’s okay._

He turned back toward the table to finish packing the med kits, but his thoughts remained with the blonde’s behavior.

_I’m talking to him about it tonight._

 

Alec finished earlier than he thought he would, and decided to see if Caleb was done talking with Zeke and Spear, and see if he was hungry. Alec’s stomach kept growling and they had to cook their own food for the time being, but that was okay.

He didn’t want it to look like he was eavesdropping if they were still talking, so he knocked on the door before pushing it open. Caleb stood from the table, glancing at him. A tired smile worked its way across his face, but there was something off about his expression, though Alec couldn’t pinpoint what at the moment. He might have been a little pale but they’d been inside for a while now, so that was understandable, especially after Zeke constantly taking his blood, and then the attack in the cafeteria and everything.

“Hey,” he said, “are you hungry? Almost finished?”

“We’re done,” Caleb said, stepping away from the table.

“This isn’t over,” Spear said quietly.

“What’s it matter?” Caleb asked, glancing back at him over his shoulder, and Alec frowned because his voice seemed a touch bitter. “Nothing we can do about it. So just… stop.”

“Caleb.”

“Let’s go eat,” Caleb said, grabbing Alec’s arm, leading him out of the room.

“What’s going on?” Alec asked as Caleb led them through the halls, grip tight on Alec’s wrist. “Cal, that hurts.”

Caleb released him instantly. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just hungry. I get cranky when I’m hungry. Sorry.”

_That’s a lie. You’re lying to me. Why?_

“I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“You can’t help.”

“Why do you sound so angry?”

“I’m not angry,” Caleb snapped, and then stopped walking, shoulders drooping somewhat as he sighed heavily. Alec stopped next to him, resting a hand on one of those slumped shoulders. “Okay. Maybe I am. Fuck.”

“What’s going on?”

“I just…”

“Hmm?”

Caleb shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Caleb-”

“Not right now,” Caleb said quietly, gaze focused on the ground, the fight seemingly leaving him as he sighed heavily, shoulders dropping further. “I just… Not right now. Ask me later when… Just later. Okay?”

Alec’s frown deepened even as that knot in his stomach tightened, growing in size and suddenly the thought of food left him feeling nauseous. His grip on the blonde’s shoulder tightened. “Talk to me,” he said quietly.

“Later,” Caleb said. “I just… don’t wanna think about it right now. Okay? Please?”

_Please? Why please?_

He nodded, releasing a slow, somewhat shaky breath as he released the blonde’s shoulder. “Okay,” he murmured, “let’s eat.”

Even though he didn’t feel like eating anymore.

 

It took a few days for Alec to notice the change, but when he did, it was all he could think about. Before, Caleb kept distracting him with pleasant touches and kisses and warm words, but now he was ice.

Barely spoke to him. If he did, it was only about vague things. _Are you hungry? Did you sleep okay? Pack this for me. Thanks._

There were no more warm touches. No more soft phrases. If anything Caleb steered clear of him. He’d disappear for the entire day even though Alec had no idea where he went. Whenever he asked someone if they saw him, they said they hadn’t but if they did see him, they’d tell him he was looking for him. Caleb still returned at night and crawled into bed next to him, but there were no good morning or good night kisses, no soft assurances or just simple conversation.

_What’s going on, Caleb?_

Currently, Caleb was crawling into bed. Alec pretended to be asleep, keeping as still as possible until the blonde was settled in next to him, before he sat up and rolled toward the blonde in the same movement, their bodies touching for the first time in days. Caleb’s form stiffened beneath him.

That knot tightened.

_Why are you so uneasy?_

“How was your day?” Alec asked quietly, softly holding onto the blonde, lowering to lay next to him, curled warmly into his side like he used to do all the time. Slowly, so slowly, Caleb’s body relaxed.

“It was okay,” the blonde murmured, his chest rumbling with his words, loud beneath Alec’s ear, yet oddly soothing. His fingers traced soft, vague patterns across the blonde’s stomach, atop his shirt. The blonde always slept with all his clothes on now.

“Aren’t you gonna ask how mine was?”

There was a brief pause. “How was your day, Alec?”

“I missed you,” he said, palm flattering over the flat of the blonde’s stomach, feeling the slow rise and fall of the blonde’s quiet breaths. “Did… you miss me?”

Caleb sighed. “ ‘course I did.”

“Where have you been?”

“Just… packing things and… taking inventory. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?”

“You don’t trust me?”

Alec frowned, stilling at the touch of anger in the blonde’s voice. “I trust you,” he said quietly. “You know I do. I just… you said we’d talk about it later, and… and we haven’t, and…”

_And you’ve been acting off. Cold. Distant. Why?_

Caleb sighed and lightly shoved him away. The act itself was gentle but he might as well have punched him for how much it hurt to be pushed away like that as the blonde slid out from under him, easing out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Alec asked, watching his figure through the darkness of the room, his body a mere shadow.

“Forgot to do something.”

“What?”

“Just something. Go back to sleep.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Stay, Alec,” Caleb said.

“But I-”

“Just fucking _stay_. Leave me _alone_.”

Alec stiffened, swallowing thickly even as he heard the blonde’s heavy sigh, could picture him scrubbing a hand over his face.

“Sorry,” Caleb said. “I’m sorry. I don’t… I don’t mean that. I just… please just stay. I need… Just stay.”

“I want to help you.”

“I know,” Caleb murmured. “I know you do. But it… It’s okay. Just… stay. I’ll be back later.”

With that, he quietly eased out of the room, the door shutting softly in his wake.

 

They never talked about it. Every time Alec brought it up, Caleb found some excuse to leave the room. Whenever he tried to initiate contact, the blonde pulled away and again, found some excuse to leave. The two slept next to each other every night but he’d never felt further away from the blonde.

_Just talk to me, please._

The blonde was having bad mood swings. One minute he would start joking like he used to, like he did a _week_ ago, and then he’d blink and it was like a door closed in Alec’s face. Gone was the warm expression, the soft words and light touches. And he couldn’t understand _why_.

Did he do something wrong?

It was the only thing he could think of that made sense for Caleb to act this way around him. He must have done something wrong, offended the blonde in some way. He ran across their days together since the attack, since he woke up with Caleb sitting next to him, but couldn’t think of anything he’d done wrong. Caleb just kept snapping at him whenever he tried to bring up the topic.

_Why?_

He also wasn’t sleeping well, Alec noticed. Not that Alec himself was getting the best sleep, either, but it was showing on the blonde. His appearance was rough, haggard, dark rings under his eyes. Spear looked somewhat similar last Alec saw him, so maybe it was just their argument? Except they seemed to have gotten over their differences, because he found them eating lunch together one day, quietly talking amongst themselves until Fix joined them, and Alec sat next to Caleb.

So their argument was over, apparently, which left him back at square one with why they were both looking rough around the edges, and why Caleb was acting this way. He must have done something wrong. Caleb seemed friendly enough with everyone else, but when it came to Alec…

_Not now, Alec._

_Later, Alec._

_You don’t want to kiss me?_

_Not now, Alec. Later._

_Is everything okay?_

_Leave me alone._

_What’s wrong?_

Except later never came and it was just getting _worse_.

Tonight he decided to corner the blonde. He was going to get answers, dammit. He sat on the bed, the candle light filtering through the room, and waited until the bedroom door finally opened. Caleb entered the room, gaze focused on the ground until he took notice of the light in the room, his eyes raising to meet Alec’s. They quickly looked away, though, as he kicked off his shoes.

“What are you still doing up?”

“Waiting for you,” Alec said honestly, watching the blonde’s stiff, rigid movements. He seemed so damn _uncomfortable_ around Alec these days. Stiffening whenever he touched him, moving away, pushing Alec away… “I wanted to talk.”

“Alec, I’m tired.”

“Me too,” Alec said. “Tired of listening to you lie to me.”

There was a moment where Caleb’s expression faltered, gaze softening somewhat, but then he blinked and it was gone, that guarded look darkening his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Yeah? You never want to,” Alec said, shaking his head. “I’m just asking you to talk to me, Cal. It can’t be that hard.”

Caleb sighed and moved back toward the door. He opened his mouth – another excuse, but Alec growled and jumped up from the bed, snagging his wrist, spinning and pushing him against the wall next to the door in the same movement, planting his body in front of the blonde, leaving him no room to escape.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Caleb.”

“Alec-”

“ _Now_ ,” Alec snapped. “It’s obviously bothering you, so just tell me! Remember? If it’s worrying you, you should tell me.”

“But I…”

The blonde’s stony expression faltered, green eyes suddenly too expressive, his pupils widening as his breaths became somewhat shaky. Alec swallowed, watching the blonde, hands firm on the blonde’s shoulders now, pushing him lightly against the wall.

“What’s wrong, Caleb?” he asked quietly. “I’m worried about you.”

“Nothing.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” he murmured. “Don’t lie to me. Did… Did I… Is it something I did? Are you mad at me?”

Caleb shook his head. “No, Alec, I’m not mad,” he said quickly. “I’m not mad at anyone.”

“Then why…?”

_Why have you been so cold? So distant?_

“I just… I…”

The blonde’s gaze averted then, toward the ground as he sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Caleb? Please, talk to me. I’m worried about you.”

He released one of the blonde’s shoulders, hooking his fingers until his chin, lifting Caleb’s head until those green eyes finally landed on him again. The pupils were larger now, eyes bright and dark all at the same time, and suddenly Alec recognized that look.

“Why are you scared?” he asked.

“I just… I… I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” Alec asked quietly. At least Caleb was talking. It was a start, but he hated that look in those green eyes.

“This treatment,” Caleb said. “It’s… It’s getting complicated, and… and…” He stopped, taking in a deep, slow breath, looking away again. “If you could… save thousands of people… and only kill a few… for the sake of the many… would you do it?”

Alec frowned, knot forever tightening in his stomach. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

“I just… I’m…” He sighed and shook his head. “Nothing, Alec. I just… I’m worried about dispersing the treatment. We… We might not make it far enough away from the explosion before…”

Alec swallowed. “Zeke hasn’t found a safe way to do it?”

“Not yet,” Caleb murmured. “But he’s… working on it.”

_I hope he finds a way._

A safe way.

“Why have you been so distant?” Alec asked. “Just because you were worried? You couldn’t tell me this?”

“I… That’s all I feel comfortable saying right now.” Green eyes locked onto his own hazel ones, expression open and sincere. “I’m sorry. Maybe… later.”

“Okay, Caleb,” Alec said quietly. “Later. Promise?”

Caleb’s exhale was somewhat shaky. “Yeah, okay,” he murmured. “Promise.”

Alec swallowed, fingers sliding across the blonde’s jawline, up toward his cheek bone, smoothing over the smooth skin as Caleb watched him. “I love you,” he said quietly. The words still felt strange to say, foreign in his mouth, but he meant every single word.

“I know,” Caleb said quietly, hand lifting, catching his own, entwining their fingers. “Love you too, Alec.”

“Talk to me, okay?”

“I will,” the blonde said. “Just… give me time.”

Alec nodded. If that was what he needed, that was fine, so long as he was at least beginning to talk about what was bothering him, and at least for the moment, he wasn’t so distant.

He hoped it lasted because he hated this distance between them.


	51. Chapter Fifty-One: Decisions

Chapter Fifty-One: Decisions

 

It didn’t last.

The next day Caleb was as cold as ever, maybe even more so because he didn’t even bother with the small talk anymore. He barely glanced at Alec, grunted his responses to the brunette’s questions, and vanished for the entire day like always. Alec waited for him to return that night so he could corner him again, _make_ him talk but the blonde never showed.

He didn’t return to their room that night. The knot in Alec’s stomach was the size of a bowling ball by now, it had to be.

He didn’t see the blonde for the next two days. By then he’d given up on sleep and was actively hunting the blonde. He looked through every room he could think of until he finally crashed into Spear, quite literally as they both hurried around a corner, slamming into each other. They both staggered back a few steps.

“Sorry,” Spear said. “Are you okay?”

“Where’s Caleb?” Alec asked.

Spear frowned. “Isn’t he with you?”

“No,” Alec said.

_He should be. Why isn’t he?_

“I… haven’t seen him in days.”

Spear’s frown deepened even as that knot continued to grow. “Neither have I,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I was hoping he was with you. I wanted to talk to him.”

“Then where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where the fuck could he be? He… He wouldn’t leave the building, right?”

He had to know it wasn’t _safe_. He wouldn’t leave, right?

Spear shook his head. “No, he wouldn’t do that. He’s here somewhere. Maybe Zeke knows.”

Alec nodded and followed Spear through the halls, heart racing in his chest.

_Where are you, Caleb? Why are you doing this?_

They entered the main part of the lab and found Zeke sighing as he sat at his desk, head in his hands. It was an expression Alec had never seen on the man before and it only left him feeling more nauseous, bile rising in his throat.

“Have you seen Caleb?” Spear asked.

Zeke looked up, looking startled and _guilty_ in the same expression before he managed to shield his expression, but it was too late now.

“What’d you do?” Spear snapped. “Where’s Caleb?”

Zeke sighed. “Alec, he’s sleeping in my office if you want to talk to him. Spear, I need to speak with you privately, if you don’t mind.”

Spear growled under his breath even as Alec hurried toward the aforementioned door which led into Zeke’s office. He pushed it open and flipped on the lights, peering around. It was a room he’d never been in before and was larger than he imagined, with a couch along the far wall. Fast asleep on that couch was Caleb, and in this better lighting, the dark rings were prominent around his closed eyes, as was the abnormal pallor of his skin.

Alec swallowed and walked quietly toward the blonde, kneeling next to him, lightly grabbing his shoulder. He shook him lightly, a little surprised he wasn’t awake by now because he was usually a light sleeper, but he looked exhausted.

Finally green eyes tiredly blinked open, looking around in confusion before they landed on Alec. Caleb sat up, scrubbing a hand across his face. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” Alec said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Zeke just slipped me something. Sneaky bastard. How long have I been out?”

“I don’t know,” Alec said. “I haven’t seen you in days.”

Caleb sighed. “Okay, I’m guessing I was out a day, then.”

And yet he still looked exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asked.

“Nothing.”

“Stop _lying_ to me!” Alec snapped, getting go his feet even as Caleb’s gaze lowered to the ground. “And fucking _look_ at me and _talk_ to me! I’m tired of this fucking attitude of yours!”

“Alec. Not now.”

“You always say that! I’m tired of it! What the hell aren’t you telling me? Huh? We don’t fucking keep secrets! Don’t you know that by now?”

“Alec.”

“And stop calling me ‘Alec’ all the time.”

Alec stopped there, because he hadn’t realized that bothered him. Hadn’t even realized Caleb hadn’t called him ‘babe’ in a long time. It was always ‘Alec’. Ever since he woke up, save for one occasion when they were packing medical supplies.

“Then what should I call you?” Caleb’s voice was even, deep and flat.

“I… I don’t…” He took in a breath and tried again. “Why aren’t you calling me ‘babe’?”

He’d grown used to that, after all. Only Caleb ever called him that, and he hadn’t heard Caleb use it on anyone else. It felt special, had meaning, and he _missed_ it. Missed it like he missed the blonde himself because he _hated_ this distance. Hated how Caleb was acting.

“Alec, what are you doing here?”

“ _Talk_ to me,” Alec said. “Please.”

“Okay.” Caleb took in a slow breath. “I don’t… I… I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

Ice hit his veins and it felt like the world froze, time froze, everything froze, except time kept going because it loved to torment Alec. He swallowed thickly, struggling to comprehend the blonde’s words. “W…What?”

_You’re breaking up with me? Why? What did I do?_

He was sorry if he did something wrong. So sorry.

“What’d I do?” he asked. “What’d I do wrong?”

“Nothing. I just… don’t… feel that way anymore.”

That knot had overtaken his stomach by this point. He tasted the bile in the back of his throat, gagged at the thought of it combined with Caleb’s words, and shakily collapsed into Zeke’s rolling computer chair, which was near the couch for some reason.

“You don’t…?”

“No,” Caleb said, voice flat and monotone. “I don’t.”

“But… But you… _Why_?”

_Why are you doing this? What’s going on? What’d I do wrong?_

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, Alec.” The blonde got to his feet, easily walking past him without sparing him a second glance. Meanwhile Alec couldn’t look away from him, felt like he was losing him, slipping through his fingers and he didn’t know what to _do_ or _say_ …

“I love you,” he found himself saying as he jumped to his feet, hurrying after the blonde.

Caleb’s hand stilled momentarily, raised toward the doorknob. “Alec. Please.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Alec.”

Alec’s hand snagged Caleb’s shoulder, dragging him back a step and turning him in the same movement. He was a little surprised Caleb wasn’t fighting him, but very happy about this because it meant he had a chance at _fixing_ this.

“Look at me.”

Caleb’s gaze remained focused on the ground.

“ _Look_ at me,” Alec snapped.

“Alec.”

“You look me in the fucking _eye_ and tell me you don’t love me,” he said.

_Please don’t tell me that._

Slowly, Caleb’s gaze lifted, finally connecting with his own. The blonde’s face was stony, expressionless, eyes flat and dull and those steel bands further constricted the brunette’s lungs, leaving him breathless.

“ _Caleb_ ,” he wheezed. “Please.”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Alec’s reaction probably surprised them both. With a growl he swung, fist catching Caleb solidly on the side of the fact, leaving the blonde staggering back a step, back colliding with the door knob. He grunted in pain even as Alec swallowed deep breaths, struggling to make sense of things.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked quietly. “Huh? What’d I do?”

“It’s nothing you did.”

“Then _why-_ ”

The door to the room slammed open, shoving Caleb away from it. He staggered forward a few steps, nearly colliding with Alec. Automatically Alec’s hands raised, catching and steadying the blonde, dragging the warm body closer to him because this was what he wanted, what he missed. The closeness. Not this distance. Not Caleb’s words.

Spear stormed into the room, angry stare locked onto the blonde.

He was swinging before Alec knew what was happening, hitting Caleb in the same place Alec him a moment before. He felt the impact, felt the blonde stagger and bring a hand up, rubbing at his face.

“ _Ow_! What the fuck?”

“You _idiot_ ,” Spear snapped, glaring at him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, dragging him away from Alec. “What did you fucking _do_?”

“Nothing,” Caleb said.

Spear swung with his left fist. Caleb easily ducked under the blow, pulling free of his grasp.

“What _did you do_?”

“What you wouldn’t.”

“What’s going on?” Alec asked.

Spear jabbed a finger into Caleb’s chest. “This fucking suicidal _idiot_ … fucking _bastard_ …”

“I don’t see what you’re so angry about,” Caleb muttered. “I did it for you.”

Spear’s fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt again. “ _Why_?” he breathed. “Why’d you…?”

“It was only logical.”

“What’s going on?” Alec snapped, stepping toward the two of them. “What’d Caleb do?”

_And why do I know I won’t like it?_

Caleb pulled free of Spear’s grip again, turning to face Alec. Instead of the flat expression from before, it was now _too_ expressive, eyes bright and dark at the same time, steely determination mixed with regret.

“Zeke’s treatment,” he said quietly. “It’s for the mutations.”

“Yeah, I’m aware,” Alec snapped. “But what’s this have to do with…?”

“ _We’re_ mutations,” Spear muttered quietly, head bowed. “To an extent.”

“Yeah, but… Wait.” Alec’s eyes widened. “You mean… it would work on _you_ too?”

_Please say no._

But Spear nodded. “Yes. It would treat us like mutations. We’d be dead within a year. Probably not even that.”

Alec’s gaze snapped back toward Caleb, who sighed. “Zeke has a remedy,” he said. “So we can survive the process, by getting rid of our immunity.”

Alec swallowed thickly, but at least there was a _chance_. That knot loosened somewhat and he could breathe again. “Okay, so why…?”

Caleb took in a breath, releasing it slowly, but at least he was still looking at him. “He only has enough herbs for it to work on one person.”

“You mean… one of you will _die_?”

He hadn’t expected this. They weren’t mutations! They were just… _immune_. That was all! They were what the mutations were supposed to be; they were nothing like those creatures. So why would it work on them? Why was there only enough for one person? What about the others like them? But no one knew where the others were or if they were even still alive, so that left Spear and Caleb, and there was only enough for one, and Spear was angry with Caleb…

“No,” he whispered, eyes widening as he looked at the blonde. “Tell me you… You _didn’t_ …”

“He hasn’t given me the treatment, no,” Spear said, and that knot loosened again but he still felt like he was going to get sick to his stomach. “But he’s trying to.”

“ _Why_ …”

Caleb wouldn’t look at him, though, head bowed as he looked at the ground, and those steel bands tightened. He stepped toward the blonde, grabbing him by the front of the shirt in much the same way Spear had.

“What did you do?”

“Alec…”

The brunette shook him. “ _What did you do?_ ”

“Zeke talked to us,” Spear said, even as Alec continued to glare at the blonde. “He said his trigger device failed. He was going to lock it onto our DNA and fingerprints so no one else could wrongfully use it or anything, and… and so the one the treatment wasn’t use on… could die quickly, instead of… slowly, and painfully.”

“What did you do?” Alec whispered. “Caleb, _what did you do?_ ”

“He fucking had Zeke lock the treatment to his DNA,” Spear said. “When we hadn’t discussed it properly! What the fuck were you _thinking_ , Caleb?”

“It’s only practical,” the blonde muttered. “Spear has an entire community to get back to. I… I don’t.”

_No. Please don’t tell me you…_

“You made the decision without me,” Spear snapped.

“Because you wouldn’t see reason.”

“See _reason_?” Spear spluttered incredulously, even as Alec’s hold on the blonde tightened. “You made it without me! Do you want to die, is that it?”

“No,” Caleb said quietly, head still bowed. “It just… makes more sense. You’d be leaving an entire community behind. I… I would just… be leaving…”

“Me,” Alec breathed. “You’d be leaving _me_.”

“Alec… I’m _sorry_ ,” Caleb said, finally dragging his gaze from the floor, green eyes locking onto hazel ones. “I never meant to… for this to happen. I never meant to _hurt_ you…”

“Is that why you’ve been so distant?” Alec asked.

“I’m _sorry_ …”

“What about your fucking _promise_?”

All those reassurance he’d fucking _be there_ when this was over, all those promises, all those words and looks and touches and _no_ …

“You promised,” he whispered. “You _promised_.”

Caleb’s expression contorted. “I’m so _sorry_ ,” he said quietly. “I didn’t… I… I didn’t want to do this to you, Alec. I just… it makes more _sense_ …”

“I’m not important enough for you to live?”

“What? Alec, please, it’s not like that.”

“You don’t care that you’d be leaving me behind?”

_You don’t care that I fucking love you and I can’t… I can’t let you do this…_

He couldn’t do it again, dammit. Couldn’t lose someone else, not like this, not after Caleb gave so damn _much_ to even _create_ this treatment. It wasn’t fucking _fair_ …

“I care,” Caleb said. “I just… It’s not that I don’t care about you, Alec, it’s just… I’m _sorry_ , but my only attachment is _you_ , and… and Spear has an entire community, and… and it just makes more sense!”

“No,” Alec snapped. “It’s fucking _crazy_.”

Caleb’s eyes narrowed. “So you’re saying you’d rather have _Spear_ die?”

Alec faltered then, gave moving momentarily toward Spear, who was watching them in the background. “What…? No, I… I just…”

“It’s okay, Alec,” Spear said quietly. “I’d rather it be me, too.”

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t mean I want you to die, I just… I can’t… Not Caleb._

He couldn’t lose Caleb. He couldn’t let him do this. He felt horrible for thinking it but he’d be much more okay with Spear dying. And he was such a horrible human being for saying that so maybe it should have been _him_ …

“I’ll disperse the treatment,” he said. “I’ll have him lock it onto my DNA, and-”

“ _No_ ,” Caleb snapped. “What’s done is done. Spear gets the antidote, I disperse the treatment. Everyone wins.”

“I _don’t_ ,” Alec said. “I don’t fucking _win_.”

_How on earth am I winning in this situation, Caleb?_

“I can’t… I can’t… I can’t _lose you_ ,” he breathed, steel bands constricting further, and he couldn’t _breathe_. “I can’t do it. _Please_.”

_Please don’t do this. Please take the antidote treatment. I’m sorry, Spear, but please…_

“Alec, I’m _sorry_ ,” Caleb said quietly, and warm, familiar hands cupped the brunette’s face. Alec choked out a quick breath because it had been so damn _long_ since the blonde was this close to him, so long since he willingly touched Alec like this, and it was for entirely the wrong reasons. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just can’t let Spear do it. People need him.”

“But I…”

_I need you. Please._

“ _I_ need you,” he wheezed. “ _You_ , Caleb. So don’t…”

_Don’t do this._

Caleb took in a breath, releasing it slowly.

“I love you,” Alec said.

_I love you. Don’t do this. I can’t… I can’t do it again, please._

“I love you too,” Caleb said quietly, and yes those were words he wanted to hear, but he didn’t want to hear that resigned, apologetic tone. “I’m sorry. Please try to understand-”

“ _Understand_?” Alec spluttered. “I don’t understand! Why are you…?”

“He’s doing it for me,” Spear said quietly. “I’m sorry. I’ll see if I can get Zeke to change it.”

“ _No_ ,” Caleb said, looking over his shoulder at Spear, who moved toward the door. “I already made him promise not to change it, dammit. I knew you’d act like this.”

“How else am I supposed to act?” Spear snapped, looking back at him as the blonde’s hands dropped away from Alec, Caleb easily pulling free of his grip, turning to face Spear. “Huh? I’m not letting you do this.”

“It’s logical, Spear.”

“It’s _not_. You don’t get to make that call.”

“I’m doing this for the good of everyone,” Caleb said quietly.

_You really believe that, don’t you?_

“You get to go back to your community, and humanity gets the treatment. Everyone wins.”

“What about _me_?” Alec breathed, and he knew was completely selfish for asking, for behaving this way, but _no_ …

Caleb’s back stiffened but he didn’t turn to face the brunette, instead clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “You’ll be okay,” he said quietly. “You’ll be fine without me.”

“ _Caleb-_ ”

“You were fine before me,” the blonde continued. “You’ll be fine after this.”

_I won’t. I won’t. Please._

“Don’t do this,” Alec said. “Please don’t do this.”

“It’s done.”

“ _Please_ ,” Alec breathed. “ _Don’t_.”

Caleb scrubbed a hand across his face. “I’m done arguing about this. We’re getting nowhere. What’s done is done so be fucking grateful I’m doing this, fuck. Take the time to get back to your community, and Alec… _fuck_ … I’m _sorry_ … But you’ll be okay.”

And then the blonde stormed toward the door. Spear tried to block his way but Caleb easily sidestepped him and eased out of the room, door slamming behind him as he did so. Alec stood frozen where he was, unable to draw in as much air as his lungs desired.

Caleb was going to die.

Even if he didn’t set off the explosion for the treatment… he was going to give the antidote to Spear, and he’d die anyway, except it’d be slow and painful. The quick death was what he needed, in that case, but Alec couldn’t do this. He couldn’t lose him. Not after everything, after all the promises and-

“Spear, _please_ ,” he whispered, unaware his mouth was even moving until then.

And then he felt so horrible.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to whisper through the shaky breaths. “I’m _sorry_ , I just… I can’t… I can’t lose him. Please.”

Spear’s expression softened. “I know, Alec,” he said quietly. “I’m working on it.”

And then he left the room, door quietly closing behind him, and Alec was left alone.


	52. Chapter Fifty-Two: Guilt and Hope

Chapter Fifty-Two: Guilt and Hope

 

Alec didn’t know what to do.

That was an understatement because even if he _did_ know what to do, he still wouldn’t know how to do it or where to start. All he knew was he was going to lose the blonde if he didn’t do something, but the only other alternative was that Spear die in his place and as much as Alec wanted to save Caleb, he couldn’t just condemn someone else to death.

Caleb’s reasons for choosing Spear to live were logical and made sense in a bizarre sort of way, but Alec couldn’t let it happen. Spear was in charge of an entire community and needed to get back to it, but Caleb… He couldn’t lose Caleb, either. Not after everything they’d been through together. Not after all the promises and reassurances he’d _be there_ when this was over. Not after Spear and Caleb gave so much to even create this treatment, and now this was happening and it wasn’t fucking _fair_ …

_I don’t know what to do._

If he knew what to do to save Caleb without killing Spear, he’d do it. He felt so horrible for asking Spear what he did, but he just couldn’t lose the blonde. Not like this. It was true the only real attachment Caleb had was Alec, but Alec’s only real attachment was _Caleb_ , and without him… who was he? He didn’t want to go back to being how he was before he met the blonde.

No matter what Caleb said, he wouldn’t be okay after his _death_. He wouldn’t be okay knowing the blonde was going to die and he’d soon be _gone_. Wouldn’t be okay being left with only memories, not after having had the real thing.

But he knew he wouldn’t be okay with Spear taking Caleb’s place, either. Even so a part of him _wanted_ Spear to take his place, _wanted_ him to do what Caleb was trying to do so he wouldn’t lose the blonde, but that was entirely selfish and horrible of him.

“You had no fucking _right_.”

The voice was growled and familiar. Distantly, Alec recognized it as Spear’s voice as he walked down a hallway. He didn’t know where he was going, exactly, his body moving of its own accord but now he stopped outside a room, listening.

“Oh? And when were you going to tell me?” Fix snapped.

“No fucking _right_ , Caleb.”

“Sorry,” Caleb said, and Alec’s spine stiffened. “But you had no right to drag Alec into this, either. I figured Fix should be informed.”

 _Informed_?

“Don’t be mad at him for telling me,” Fix muttered. “Why the hell didn’t _you_ tell me?”

“Because we’re still discussing it,” Spear snapped, and Alec could almost picture his irritated expression.

“We’re not,” Caleb said. “It’s been decided.”

“No it fucking _hasn’t_ ,” Spear growled, and there was the sound of a soft thud and a grunt from Caleb.

“What do you think, Fix?” Caleb asked. “Makes more sense for Spear to live, right?”

“He kind of has a point,” Fix said quietly.

“No he fucking _doesn’t_ ,” Spear snapped, and Alec took in a quick breath before he rounded the corner and entered the room.

Three sets of eyes shot toward him at the same time, and he swallowed thickly because Spear had Caleb pressed against a wall, fingers curling into the blonde’s shirt, a scowl on his face while Fix stood in the background, looking somewhat pale.

_Caleb told Fix about the remedy… and the treatment dispersal._

Spear was angry because of this because apparently he wasn’t going to tell Fix any of this, just like Caleb probably wasn’t going to tell Alec until Spear barged in and told him instead. Now it seemed Caleb did the same with Fix.

Fix needed to know, just like Alec needed to know, except Fix got to keep Spear while Alec…

_He’s not gonna die. No._

He wouldn’t let him. He just wasn’t sure how to stop it, yet, but he’d think of a way. He wasn’t going to let the blonde die like this.

“Talk some fucking sense into your boyfriend,” Spear said, tossing a quick glare Caleb’s way as he practically tossed the blonde toward Alec. Caleb staggered a few steps and turned back toward him, growling under his breath.

“It makes _sense_ ,” he snapped.

“It doesn’t,” Alec said quietly, causing the blonde to turn back around, facing him.

“It does,” he said with a slow nod. “You’re just… too emotionally involved right now. But it will work out.”

“In what world will this _work out_?”

“Fix agrees with me,” Caleb said, casting a glance over his shoulder at the brunette who stood next to Spear. Fix swallowed and looked down at the ground, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

“He’s biased,” Alec said.

_Of course he wants Spear to live; he loves him._

“Aren’t you?” Caleb countered.

Alec froze, swallowing thickly. “I…”

Yes, he realized. He was completely and totally biased because no matter what, he’d always want Caleb to live just like Fix would always want Spear to live. Their reasons were very similar – they both loved their respective partners and neither wanted to lose them. Alec had no idea what Fix had been through with Spear save for their shared time in the cells, apparently, but he knew what he’d been through with Caleb. Fix at least had Nixa and their community, and now Luka and Koda, while Alec only had Caleb.

Without Caleb, he’d go back to being alone. He couldn’t do that, not after having found something real and meaningful in his life. Not after having finally gotten over Silas’ death because he wasn’t alone anymore…

“I don’t want you to die,” he finally said quietly.

“Fix doesn’t want Spear to die, either,” Caleb replied even as Alec averted his gaze toward the ground.

“It’s a mess,” Spear agreed, “but I’m still not letting you do this.”

“You can’t change it,” Caleb said. “It makes more sense this way.” There was a brief pause. “Take Alec with you, after all of this.”

“Fuck that,” Alec snapped, looking back up at the blonde. “Fuck _you_. They’re not taking me anywhere!”

“We’ll talk about it,” Fix said quietly. “I think you and Alec have a lot to talk about, too.”

“We don’t,” Caleb murmured, looking at the ground while Alec stared at him.

“We do,” Alec said, taking a quick step forward, snagging Caleb’s wrist.

_I’m not letting you do this._

“Alec, let go,” Caleb said, voice calm and quiet.

Alec shook his head and pulled the blonde from the room. Caleb didn’t fight him and let the brunette lead him through the halls until they made it to the stairwell. The blonde jerked free of his hold, causing Alec to stagger to a halt and turn to face him.

“Where are we going?”

“Our room,” Alec replied quietly, even though it hadn’t technically been _their_ room in a while now. Caleb was never there anymore, had yet to return there in nearly a week.

Caleb sighed and shook his head, taking a small step back. “I don’t… think that’s a good idea, Alec.”

“And why not?”

“I just…” He took in a slow breath, raising his gaze to meet Alec’s. “I don’t think we should do this. It’s not… fair of me to be with you when I’m… It’s just not fair to you.”

“I think I can be the judge of that,” Alec said, narrowing his eyes. “If you’re going to fucking insist on… on doing _this_ , then…”

_Then I’m not letting you out of my sight._

He didn’t want to waste time, after all. That was all they were doing right now – wasting time they could be spending together, but that was okay, right? Because Alec wouldn’t lose him, couldn’t lose him. He’d find a way to stop it, but…

“I love you,” he murmured, watching Caleb’s expression soften and contort in the same twisted movement. He reached out and grabbed the blonde’s hand, entwining their fingers, a lump forming in his throat when Caleb’s fingers squeezed his own in return.

It was a simple movement, and yet it hadn’t happened in so long…

“Just because you’re… doing _this_ … it doesn’t change how I feel,” Alec breathed. “So just… You’re coming with me.”

“Alec… it’s not fair to you.”

“You think any of this is _fair_? For either of us?” He took in a shaky breath. “It’s not, okay? It’s not okay. It’s not fair. And… And I _hate_ you for doing this, for… for _willingly_ …But I still love you, and… And come _home_.”

Their room here had become home, after all. Only when they were together, though. It wasn’t home without Caleb and a part of Alec wondered what he’d do when this was over and the blonde was _gone_ because _nowhere_ would be home then, but he couldn’t think about that right now. He wouldn’t let it happen. Even if Caleb _did_ do this…

He wouldn’t go anywhere without the blonde. If he wanted to stay and disperse the treatment… Alec would be right there with him.

Warm hands cupped his face, dragging him out of his thoughts, and his eyes snapped up to meet Caleb’s green ones, which looked over his face. He hadn’t even been aware of Caleb’s fingers leaving his own to move to his face.

“Come home, Cal,” he said quietly. “I miss you.”

A thumb gently smoothed over his cheekbone. “Okay, Alec,” he whispered back. “Let’s go home.”

 

Alec woke more refreshed and relaxed than he had in days, until he remembered what was happening around him. At first all he noticed was the fact Caleb was finally in their room and in their bed again, and his head was settled neatly atop the blonde’s chest, slowing rising and falling with the rhythm of his breathing, ear pressed neatly into the swell of his chest atop bare skin. He heard the rhythm _thud-thud_ of the blonde’s heart, which calmed him until the remembered.

_This might only last a little longer…_

Caleb could be gone soon. He wasn’t sure when they would be leaving for Yellowstone National Park but he knew it’d be soon, a week at the most. Zeke was working on the finishing touches of the remedy and was attempting to test his treatment on some zephroes on the way to the park. He was nearly 100% certain it would work but it was best to at least try it on the way there, up close and personal with a zephro. This also meant he’d need the help of the remaining “immune” person, which would be Caleb, to apprehend a zephro while the “fixed” and “not immune” person, which would be Spear, stayed on the sidelines.

And then when they got to Yellowstone National Park, Caleb would detonate the explosion beneath the park and its geysers. It would disperse the treatment but kill him immediately. He wouldn’t feel a thing.

Alec’s fingers lightly scratched against skin, fingers curling against the blonde’s stomach as he burrowed his head further into Caleb’s chest, swallowing thickly. Bile rose in his throat every time he thought about the explosion. Nothing would be left of the blonde. He would just be _gone_ , body and all, in a matter of seconds. No pain, Zeke assured him, but still that knot tightened.

_I don’t want to lose you…_

He said those words to Caleb once, before the attack in the cafeteria. Caleb said he wasn’t going anywhere, and admitted he didn’t want to lose Alec, either. And yet he willingly did this, willingly had Zeke lock the treatment’s detonation device onto his fingerprints and DNA signature. Made the decision without Alec, without anyone.

And now Alec was left agonizing over how much time they’d have left together, because he didn’t know how to _stop it_. He didn’t want to walk away from this without the blonde but he felt like Caleb already thought of that and probably made Spear promise to take him away anyway. Alec could fight it but he felt he’d just end up being knocked out, and he couldn’t bear the thought of waking up after that to realize it was over and Caleb was _gone_.

He wasn’t aware the blonde was awake until fingers gently combed through his hair, nails lightly scratching against his scalp. He leaned into the contact, struggling to control his breathing because he needed to be strong. Caleb had to be terrified, had tried to distance himself from Alec so he wouldn’t have to ‘hurt’ the brunette like this, and if he wanted Caleb to stay for the time being, he needed to act natural.

Even though he had no idea how to behave like that anymore.

“Morning,” Alec breathed, ear still firmly planted atop the blonde’s chest, fingers lightly curled against the flat of his stomach.

“Morning,” Caleb replied quietly. “I missed this.”

“Me too.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

Alec closed his eyes, taking in a slow, deep breath. “I’m sure.”

“Look at me, Alec.”

Alec swallowed and pulled away just enough to roll his head, gaze slowly lifting toward the blonde’s face. Tired green eyes watched him, a weak smile playing on Caleb’s lips.

“We don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know,” Alec breathed. “I just…”

_Let me have this. Okay?_

He didn’t know what else to do, and the thought of being away from Caleb right now just left him feeling sick to his stomach.

“Are you hungry?” Alec asked, changing the subject because he didn’t know what else to say, couldn’t bring himself to say more.

“In a minute,” Caleb replied, eyes slipping closed. “Just let me… remember this moment.”

If he heard the hitch in Alec’s breath, he didn’t mention it.

 

“Eat, Alec.”

Alec moved his food around his plate with his fork. “I’m not really hungry.”

“Yeah,” Caleb breathed. “Neither am I. But you should still eat.”

“What about you?”

Caleb sighed and looked down at his food. “Doesn’t really matter if I eat, Alec.”

Alec took in a breath and released it slowly, quickly blinking his eyes a few times before he managed to stab a carrot with his fork. “I’ll eat if you do.”

“Okay,” Caleb sighed. “Deal.”

Alec couldn’t taste the food in his mouth. It might as well have been paper as he chewed and swallowed and took another bite, and another after that. Soon his food was gone, as was Caleb’s, both of them looking more than a little queasy as they pushed their empty plates away.

“Wanna play some cards?”

Alec wasn’t aware he’d spoken the words until Caleb looked up at him.

“You… want to play Go Fish with me?”

“Are you saying ‘no’?”

Caleb’s smile was thin and weak, but at least it was a smile. “Okay, Alec. Go get the cards. I’ll take the plates away.”

Alec nodded and got to his feet. It was hard to leave Caleb alone in the cafeteria. Not because it wasn’t safe but because he could feel their time together ticking down, unwinding, and he couldn’t stop it.

He wasn’t aware his breaths were shaky until he got back to their room and threw the door open. It bounced off the wall and he kicked at it, growling under his breath as he brought his hands up, curling his fingers into his hair, tugging at the strands because at least that pain was something much easier to focus on.

Much better to think about that than the fact…

_I’m gonna lose you. You’re gonna die. I’m gonna be alone…_

It wasn’t fucking _fair_.

“Not fair,” he breathed, tugging at the strands again, pacing around the room. “Not fucking _fair_ , dammit.”

_Cards. C’mon. Look for the cards. Focus on that._

Right. Much easier to think about cards.

He took in a breath and moved his hands from his head, glancing over at the table in the room. The cards weren’t on it, and he frowned, wondering where they could be. Caleb put them up; where would he put them if not neatly stacked on the table?

He wanted toward the small dresser in the room. It held their few bits of clothing as well as their weapons, even though they both carried some kind of weapon on them. Alec had his knife back but somehow he wished he didn’t have it. Wished they’d never come here. Wished they’d stayed in the community, wished they’d never met Spear…

_Cards. C’mon. Focus. Breathe._

He dug through their bits of clothing, pushed their spare knives to the side, and pricked his finger on one of the sharp edges.

He hissed and pulled his hand out of the drawer, watching the blood pool on his fingertip. He put his finger in his mouth, attempting to sooth the burning pain but at least it was something easy on which to focus. He bit down on the finger, clenching his eyes tightly closed even as tears pricked at his eyes, felt the burning behind his eyelids.

A moment later he growled and swung at the corner of the drawer. He hadn’t meant to actually hit it but now his hand exploded with pain and he grunted, staggering away from the wooden dresser, looking at his bloody and busted knuckles.

“Alec?”

Alec froze, back stiffening.

“Are you okay?”

“I can’t find the cards.”

“Cards?”

He took in a breath. “We’re gonna play cards, and I can’t… I can’t find them.”

Footsteps approached him. “What’s wrong with your hand?”

“Nothing, Spear. Go away.”

Spear sighed, hand landing on his shoulder. He angrily shrugged him off, spinning to face him.

“Go _away_.”

“I know you’re upset,” Spear said quietly. “I’m upset too, okay?”

“Fuck you.”

“It’s not me you’re angry at.”

“How the fuck do you know? Huh?”

“You’re mad at Caleb,” Spear said softly, watching him calmly, and there was a hitch in Alec’s breath. “You’re mad him for making this decision without you. You’re mad at him for willingly doing this. You’re mad at him because you don’t think it’s fair, and you don’t want to lose him, and he’s being entirely too cool about this, right?”

“How do you…”

_How do you know? Fuck._

“I feel the same. I remember when we were kids… He was this small thing, you know? Sick most of his life. Always had a weak immune system.” Spear sighed, looking away. “Seems ironic now, huh? Anyway… He was this tiny thing but he made me laugh.”

“What are you…?”

_What are you saying? What are you talking about?_

Those steel bands further constricted his lungs.

“We were sleeping when… when it happened,” Spear continued quietly, stepping over to sit on the bed. Alec swallowed and followed after him, sitting next to him, ignoring the throbbing of his hand. “We were sound asleep. We weren’t supposed to be in the same room together, but… but we were friends, and… and Caleb had nightmares. He was three years younger than me and I… never really had much of a family, so I had to look out for him, you know?”

“Why are you telling me this?” Alec asked quietly, fingers curling into the soft covers beneath them.

“There was a sound at the door. I thought it was Zeke so I moved to open it but it splintered open anyway, and there was this… _thing_. This face. And I was _terrified_. My scream woke Caleb and then he was pushing me out of the way. This tiny, scared kid, pushing _me_ out of the way.”

“Stop,” Alec breathed.

_I don’t wanna hear this. Just stop._

“Zeke saved us,” Spear continued as though Alec never said a word. With the way he was gripping the covers so tightly, gaze focused on the ground, maybe he _didn’t_ hear him. “We escaped. There were others, but… but we lost sight of each other, so it was just me and Caleb, and Zeke disappeared soon after… I was just a kid, and I had to look out for him, you know? I guess I… I’ve been trying to keep an eye on him ever since. I know we lost sight of each other for a while, and… and I thought he was dead, but… But he grew up. He’s not a scared little kid anymore.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I told you this… so you’d understand where I’m coming from.”

“And… and what’s that mean?”

Spear took in a slow breath, dragging his gaze up and over to meet Alec’s eyes. “I wanna save him as much as you do. He’s my little brother, Alec. I don’t wanna see him die because of me. I’m supposed to look out for him.”

“But… But he… He made his choice,” Alec said quietly, even though it hurt to say the words.

“He did,” Spear agreed. “He made it without me. And I hate him for it, I hate him for making me feel like this, but he’s still my brother. Okay? So I… I’m gonna do everything I can to keep him alive. So don’t… Don’t worry about it.”

“Spear…”

Alec didn’t know what to say. ‘Thank you’ just felt rude because it meant he was grateful Spear was potentially throwing his own life away to save Caleb, but it was how he felt. Just so damn _grateful_ because he didn’t want to lose the blonde. _Fuck_ , he didn’t want to lose him.

“I’m gonna try,” Spear said, getting to his feet. “So just… Just take care of him, okay? And don’t tell Fix.”

_Oh, fuck._

Fix. Alec forgot about him in the midst of this conversation.

Fix was in a very similar situation as Alec, except right now he believed Spear was going to be alive at the end of this while Alec believed Caleb would be _dead_. Spear was going to try to change it, die in Caleb’s place, but apparently without anyone else knowing.

And Alec _wanted_ to tell Fix.

Wanted to tell him to hold Spear a little tighter, make their time together matter, all the things Alec himself was doing with Caleb right now, but he couldn’t risk it because he was just so damn _grateful_ …

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, getting to his feet after Spear. “I’m _sorry_. I don’t… I don’t want you to die, but I…”

“I understand,” Spear said. “You don’t have anything to feel sorry about, okay?” He took in a breath. “Caleb likes to hide the cards close to him. It’s what he used to do when we were kids. Check by the bed.”

And then he walked away, and Alec watched him go, feeling a mix between hope and guilt and fear. He managed to swallow down the bile long enough to walk around the bed, digging around on the floor on Caleb’s side where he found the cards under the blonde’s satchel.

He picked up the deck, took in a breath, grabbed some bandages and left the room to return to Caleb.


	53. Chapter Fifty-Three: Remedy

Chapter Fifty-Three: Remedy

 

Caleb scolded him for injuring his hand and then bandaged it. He said it’d hurt for a while but Alec would be okay. They played several rounds of cards before Caleb returned to Zeke’s lab and told Alec to go back to their room, where he’d meet up with him later. Alec argued, of course, but the blonde won in the end because when he said ‘please’ like that, the brunette could deny him nothing.

So he waited in their room until Caleb finally pushed the door open and joined him, kicking off his shoes. He looked up as he entered and smiled faintly at Alec, sitting on his side of the bed. Alec put down the book he’d been attempting to read – something about DNA splicing even though he had no idea what any of it meant – and scooted a little closer to the blonde, easing into his side.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

Caleb shrugged. “It went okay, I guess.”

“What’d you talk about?”

There was a pause as Caleb chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. “He wants to start going to the park in five days.”

Alec took in a slow breath, but he knew they’d be leaving soon so he wasn’t entirely shocked, but his heart still lurched in his chest because if Spear’s plan failed, Caleb would die once they got there. And even if his plan worked, Spear himself would be dead and he could only imagine how Fix would feel afterward.

He tried not to think about it, though.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

“I need to go back down there in a few hours.”

“Okay. I’ll go with you.”

“Alec.”

“I’ll go with you,” Alec repeated.

Finally Caleb sighed and nodded even as Alec’s fingers trailed down to capture the blonde’s own. Slowly, Caleb’s head lowered to rest on Alec’s shoulder as the blonde gave into a long, drawn out yawn.

“You can sleep if you want,” Alec said. “I’ll wake you in a little bit.”

“It’s okay.”

Alec took in a breath. “Cal, you’re tired. Sleep.”

“I can sleep when I’m dead.”

Alec stiffened and closed his eyes, tightening his grip on Caleb’s hand. Caleb lifted his head, pulling away somewhat.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean… I just… I’m okay. It’s okay.”

_But it’s not, Cal. It’s not._

It wasn’t okay. _None_ of this was okay. And after their trip to Yellowstone, none of it would be okay again. Either Spear or Caleb would be dead and either Alec or Fix would be left mourning their loss. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t okay, but it was going to happen no matter what because humanity needed this treatment. For the good of everyone, this needed to happen, and Alec could understand that, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

Call him selfish, but he’d rather keep Caleb.

“What do you want to do right now, then?”

_If you don’t wanna sleep._

“I don’t know.” Caleb took in a slow breath. “What do you wanna do?”

“I kinda wanna shower.”

This was true. They actually had hot water here and they hadn’t properly used it. Alec always used cold water because it was limited and he didn’t feel right selfishly taking it all. He also hadn’t showered in a few days, having been too preoccupied about Caleb’s distance than anything else.

Caleb chuckled. “Then go for it.”

Alec took in a breath. “Come with me.”

“You want me to shower with you?”

“C’mon.”

He crawled out of bed, hand never leaving Caleb’s as he led the blonde out of their room and down the hall, toward the shower room. The shower areas were rather small and if they wanted to ‘share’ a shower, they’d have to get in close together, but Alec was okay with that.

Caleb’s hands were warm on his bare skin as they stripped off their clothes and stepped under the water’s warm spray. This was the first time they did anything like this, Alec realized as he blinked the shower spray from his eyes, stepping to the side somewhat to allow Caleb a little more room. Caleb’s hold was hesitant but it lightly pulled Alec closer to him, and Alec gratefully moved closer until they were both under the spray.

Caleb’s fingers were magic carding through his hair, easing the shampoo across his scalp. He leaned into the contact, closing his eyes as he took in a slow, deep breath. Neither said a word as they showered, as suds spiraled down the drain, as they quietly held onto each other under the warm spray.

Too soon it ended and Alec regretfully followed Caleb out of the shower, both of them dripping wet as they moved through the steam-filled room toward their clothes along the sink top. Quietly they dried their bodies and slipped into their clean clothes. Caleb scrubbed a towel over his head and Alec stood in the background, his wet bangs dripping water down his face.

He hadn’t seen Caleb fresh out of the shower before. Back in the community, they usually only saw each other in the morning and at night, and by then Caleb and Alec had usually showered before they ran into each other again. And thus far, here, they kept busy enough that neither actually saw each other fresh out of the shower, with wet hair and clothes sticking to their body in all the right places.

Alec stepped closer to the blonde, winding his arms around his waist, pulling him closer until his chin rested comfortably atop the back of the blonde’s shoulder as he looked at Caleb in the mirror, standing just behind him. Caleb leaned back into his embrace, hands releasing his grip on the towel. It dropped to the floor at their feet as Caleb caught his eye in the mirror.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“It’s just a towel,” Alec said.

Caleb sighed, shaking his head. “No, I mean… I know I promised…”

Alec closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of the blonde, wet hair tickling the side of his face. “Caleb… I wish you wouldn’t do this.”

 _I wish this was a stupid nightmare. I wish you weren’t so willing to die like this. I wish Spear was able to think of something…_ _I wish neither of you had to do this._

He didn’t want Spear to die, but in his heart he knew he would always, _always_ , pick Caleb to live. Logically it made more sense for Spear to live because of his community ties and everything, but Fix had others to support him. Without Caleb, Alec had nothing. No one.

And he didn’t want to be alone…

He sighed, nuzzling his face further into the blonde’s warm skin. “I love you.”

“I know,” Caleb breathed, hands settling atop Alec’s which were around his waist. “Love you, too, Alec. I’m _sorry_ …”

“Caleb…”

“But… you’ll be okay.”

Alec opened his eyes. “I won’t.”

“You will.”

_You really believe that, don’t you?_

Caleb thought he’d be fine without him. Had Alec really not shown him how much he cared, how much he _needed_ the blonde? Because if he could go back and make him _see_ that he _wouldn’t_ be okay without him, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

“You’ll be fine with Spear and Fix,” Caleb continued quietly.

“I’m not going with them.”

“Alec.”

Alec took in a breath, catching Caleb’s gaze in the mirror. “If you’re going to insist on… on _dying_ there, then… I’m staying with you.”

Alec wasn’t aware Caleb was moving until he staggered from the loss of the blonde in front of him. Caleb spun, eyes narrowed, hands gripping the front of Alec’s shirt.

 _“No_ ,” he growled. “You’re _not_.”

“I am,” he said quietly.

“You’re not.”

“Caleb… I don’t… I don’t want to… I’m not going with them. I’m staying with you.”

_Until the bitter end._

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do,” Alec said, sighing. “I know what I’m saying.”

“Do you want to fucking _die_?”

“Do _you_?” Alec countered.

Caleb swallowed. “I… no, but… But I… I _have_ to, Alec. I have to do this. You don’t. You can walk away. Why would you _choose_ to…?”

Alec took in a slow breath. “If our places were reversed,” he said quietly, “would _you_ want to live after this is over?”

Caleb’s grip loosened somewhat. “What?”

“If it was me dying instead of you… would you want to go with someone else?”

“That’s not fair,” Caleb said.

Alec pulled free of his grip. “How’s it not fair? Isn’t that what you’re asking _me_ to do?”

“It’s not the same!”

“Why not?”

Caleb took in a slow breath. “ _Because_ ,” he said.

“What are you, three? ‘Because’ isn’t an answer.”

“I… I don’t… This is ridiculous. You’re not _dying_ with me.”

“I don’t think that’s your choice to make, Caleb.”

Caleb growled under his breath even as Alec took a step closer to him, resting the palm of his hand against the blonde’s cheek.

“If you’re going to do this, you’re not doing it alone.”

“Alec. _No_.”

“So, if our places were reversed and I was dying, you wouldn’t… you wouldn’t want to die with me?”

_What are you saying? This is ridiculous._

It was, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to get Caleb to understand how he felt about all of this because he _wouldn’t_ be okay. He wouldn’t be okay with Caleb doing this, wouldn’t be okay when the blonde was gone. None of this was okay and he needed Caleb to realize this, and if the blonde loved him as much as Alec loved him, then he’d see Alec’s view of things.

“Of course I would,” Caleb sighed, reaching a hand up to capture Alec’s hand which still rested on his face. “But this… it’s _crazy_ , and I’m not letting you do it.”

“You just said you’d do the same.”

“Yes, and I’m selfish,” Caleb said. “And I want you to live, so you’re going to.”

Alec growled and pulled free of the blonde’s grip, stepping away from him. “This isn’t your choice.”

Caleb took in a slow, deep breath, averting his gaze to the ground. “Alec. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to fight. I don’t… want our last words to be spoken in anger.”

Alec felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach, the breath leaving him as though he’d been hit by a physical blow. “I… no, we’re not… we’re not fighting, Caleb. I just… I can’t… I can’t let you die like this. I can’t… I can’t keep going after this, dammit, I _can’t_.”

“Alec.”

“ _I’m_ the selfish one,” Alec said. “Because as much as… as I know it makes sense for Spear to… to live, I just… I just want…”

_I want to keep you a little longer. Please._

He wasn’t aware his eyes had closed until Caleb’s forehead rested easily against his own, and he opened his eyes to find the blonde’s own eyes closed.

“I know,” Caleb breathed, his arms coming up to slide around the brunette’s middle. “I know.”

Alec wasn’t sure what got to him – the soft tone, the acceptance in Caleb’s words, or the impromptu hug – but suddenly his eyes were burning and no matter how quickly he blinked, he couldn’t blink those tears away. His breaths grew shaky and rushed, short staccato clips, his body trembling beneath the blonde’s hold.

“I just… I don’t… I don’t want you to _die_ , Caleb…”

“I know,” Caleb said softly, tightening his hold on the brunette. “But it’ll be okay. You’ll see.”

“No, it _won’t_. I don’t… I don’t wanna lose you, Cal. Please.”

“I know, Alec. But I… I have to do this. It’ll work out, you’ll be okay.”

_No, it won’t work out, and I won’t be okay._

The only ‘happy’ ending he could see at the moment would be him dying with Caleb. It worked best for everyone, right? Fix got to keep Spear, Spear got to go back to his community, humanity got the treatment, and Alec got to keep Caleb, in a way. Everyone won that way, save for the fact they’d be dead, but… they’d die together.

Quick. Painless.

And he wouldn’t be alone.

And yet, somewhere in his gut, he knew it couldn’t, wouldn’t, be that easy. He knew that by admitting this to Caleb, he probably just ruined his only chance at getting to die with the blonde, because he felt certain Caleb would get someone to make sure Alec got away from the explosion.

But he’d fight tooth and nail to stay.

For the time being, though, he’d just have to hope and pray Spear did manage to find a way to take Caleb’s place, as horrible as that sounded.

 

Alec followed Caleb down to Zeke’s main lab a few hours later. Caleb kept trying to leave him in their room but Alec was adamant about accompanying him to the lab, and thus they pushed through the door together. Spear and Fix were there was well, seated on one of the beds. Spear looked irritated and Fix looked relieved, which probably didn’t bode well for Alec and Caleb.

“I’ve made the remedy,” Zeke said quietly. “It’s finished.”

Bile rose in Alec’s throat as he shot a glance at Spear, because if he didn’t stop it now… he never would, never could, because then even if he _did_ set off the explosion instead of Caleb, the blonde would instead die a slow, painful death because Spear had the remedy and he didn’t.

_Do something. Please._

“Okay,” Caleb breathed, rocking back on his heels somewhat. “Give it to him.”

“Caleb,” Spear hissed.

“He’s right,” Fix said quietly.

Spear glared at the brunette even as Fix sighed and looked at the ground, but his hand was settled comfortably atop Spear’s shoulder, lightly squeezing. Alec, meanwhile, reached down and caught Caleb’s hand with his own, squeezing for all he was worth.

_Please. Do something. Stop this, Spear._

“Give it to Spear, Zeke,” Caleb said, voice low and calm. “You gave me your word. _Do it_.”

“Caleb-”

Caleb’s squeeze cut him off, leaving him wincing somewhat at the roughness of the hold, but he’d never pull away.

“You _know_ it makes more sense for him to have it.”

“Caleb,” Spear said calmly. “Stop it.”

Caleb shook his head. “Why am I here, Zeke?”

“I just… wanted to give you both a chance to further discuss this,” Zeke said quietly, looking back and forth between the two of them. “Last chance to back out, Caleb.”

Caleb took in a slow, deep breath, before he backed up a step, dragging Alec with him. “Give it to Spear. Please.”

“ _Caleb_ ,” Spear snarled, jumping to his feet.

“What are you waiting for?” Caleb asked. “Give it to him.”

“Caleb,” Alec said quietly. “Please.”

_Don’t do this, Caleb. C’mon. Please. Spear, do something._

If he didn’t do something now…

Zeke lifted a syringe filled with a green liquid before he sighed and stepped toward Spear. Spear growled and moved to confront Caleb, probably violently, but Fix jumped up and caught his arm, holding him in place long enough for Zeke to jab the syringe into his neck.

Alec’s lungs stopped working as he watched Zeke press down on the shot, sending the green liquid into Spear’s bloodstream. His chest felt tight, his eyes burned, and as Caleb relaxed next to him, his whole body stiffened as he stepped forward angrily.

“You said you’d fix this,” he snapped, glaring at Spear, breaths shaky and quick. “You said you’d _do something_!”

“Alec… I’m _sorry_ ,” Spear said, pressing a hand to where the needle jabbed him in the neck as Zeke stepped away from him. “I’m so fucking _sorry_ , God, I’m _sorry_ , I-”

Caleb’s arms wound around Alec’s stomach, pulling him back a step into a warm, solid chest and he couldn’t fucking _breathe_ …

“Alec. _Alec_. It’s okay,” Caleb said. “It’s okay. Breathe. It’s okay. It’s _okay_.”

“ _No_ ,” Alec choked, “it’s _not okay_ , Caleb, it’s _not okay_ …”

_You said you’d do something, Spear. You fucking bastard, you said you’d…_

“It’s not fair,” he breathed, looking at Fix and Spear. “Why do you get to keep…”

He wasn’t aware he was being dragged from the room until they rounded a corner, his back still pressed against Caleb’s chest. Carefully, the blonde turned him, pressing Alec’s back against a wall as he stepped in front of him, hands curling into the fabric of the front of the brunette’s shirt.

“Alec,” he said quietly, “it’s _okay_.”

“It’s not,” he choked, shaking his head. “It’s not okay, it’s not okay, it’s not _okay-_ ”

“It will be,” Caleb assured him. “It’ll be okay, Alec. You’ll see.”

He shook his head, unable to form words at the moment as he took in shaky, ragged breaths. Caleb pulled him from the wall and into a tight hug, and he buried his face into the blonde’s shoulder, struggling to control his breathing and blink away the wetness from his eyes.

_Spear has the remedy. Caleb’s really going to die…_

He was going to soon be _dead_ and _gone_ and Alec would never get to hold him like this again. Would never get to be this close to the blonde again. Would forever be fucking _alone_ because he _knew_ Caleb wouldn’t let him stay with him when he set off the explosion. Knew he’d be forced to go with Spear and Fix and _no_ , he _couldn’t do this_ …

“Shh,” Caleb said quietly, holding onto him. “It’ll be okay. Just breathe, Alec. It’ll be okay.”

But Alec was pretty damn sure nothing would ever be ‘okay’ again.


	54. Chapter Fifty-Four: Surrender

Chapter Fifty-Four: Surrender

 

Alec’s stomach remained in knots for the next two days. In a few more days they’d leave to start their journey toward Yellowstone National Park, and Caleb would be killed in the following explosion. Alec had been trying to wrap his head around this thought for days now, ever since he found out about the remedy and subsequent ‘chosen’ one to disperse the treatment, but it was beginning to feel all too real now, as time wound down and Spear had the remedy.

Caleb was going to die – it was just a matter of how quickly, and how painfully.

Food had very little meaning to Alec at this point but even so he followed Caleb down to the cafeteria anyway and sat at an empty table while the blonde went to get their food. Caleb was stopped on his way toward the cooking area, though, and returned back to the table rather quickly. Alec looked up to find Spear standing next to Caleb, offering the blonde a bowl of vegetable soup. He also handed Alec a plate of cooked vegetables, and sat next to Caleb who sat across from Alec.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

Alec swallowed, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying anything. He tried to ignore Spear’s existence for the time being, violently stabbing down on a carrot.

_You said you’d stop it. You lied. You let it happen._

He probably had no right to be angry with Spear, because there probably wasn’t much Spear could do about it anyway, but he said he’d fix it. He said he’d keep Caleb alive somehow, and Alec felt so damn _betrayed_ because now Spear had the remedy and Caleb as going to _die_ …

The food in his mouth had no taste but he swallowed anyway, focusing down on his plate instead of at the two guy sitting across from him.

“Thanks for the soup,” Caleb said quietly.

“It’s the least I could do,” Spear sighed. “I’m sorry, Cal.”

Alec closed his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Caleb said, and then there was the sound of him slurping up some of his soup. “This tastes… odd.”

“Well, _sorry_ ,” Spear said, “my cooking skills aren’t legendary.”

Caleb chuckled quietly. “It’s fine. I didn’t say it was bad. I just… haven’t had soup in a while. Alec, you want some?”

Alec shook his head, opening his eyes to blink across the table at the two of them. Spear watched him.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“Fuck you.”

“Alec,” Caleb hissed, narrowing his eyes at him. “Be nice. It’s not Spear’s fault.”

Alec took in a breath and nodded. “Yeah. You’re right. Sorry, Spear, I just… I can’t…”

He snapped his mouth closed there, unable to continue speaking as he looked down helplessly at his plate, taking in a deep, slow breath which was meant to calm his nerves but did anything but.

Silence wrapped around them for a long moment, and he looked up only when he heard Spear get to his feet.

“Make sure you eat all of it,” Spear said quietly. “Need to keep your appitite up.” Then he ruffled Caleb’s hair, sighed, and walked away, leaving the cafeteria. Caleb took in a breath and continued eating his soup, and Alec looked down at his barely touched plate.

He didn’t actively feel hunger these days, but with how sick he felt all the time, it would be best to eat something so he’d actually have something to throw up later. After managing to finish his food a few minutes later, he glanced across the table to find Caleb finishing off the last of his soup, drinking the broth before he put the empty bowl down and sighed.

“That was nice of him,” the blonde said quietly.

Alec nodded.

_Yeah. I guess._

Still didn’t change the fact he was going to live while Caleb died. Still didn’t change how Alec didn’t know what to fucking _do_ …

Caleb pushed to his feet and then staggered, holding his arms out to balance himself as Alec got to his feet as well. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Caleb said, scrubbing a hand across his face. “Got up too fast. Sorry. I just haven’t really eaten in a while.”

Alec nodded. It was understandable and he himself hadn’t eaten much, either. They’d both lost weight, Caleb more so than him due to the blood draws and being knocked unconscious for days on end, and now this. Getting the blonde to eat was a chore, though, because he didn’t seem to think it mattered if he ate because he’d be dead soon.

And Alec didn’t know what to do about this. Didn’t know how to get Caleb to care about eating when he himself couldn’t bring himself to eat, either. Didn’t know how to keep him alive, how to stop this from happening…

The two walked out of the room and back toward their bedroom. They ran into Luka and Koda in the stairwell. Koda happily pawed Caleb’s leg and Caleb smiled tiredly, leaning down to pet the dog while Luka stood next to them.

Koda wasn’t happy about being cooped up in this building, but at least he had an outdoor area to go in when he needed to run around and use the restroom and whatnot. Alec himself had never been to the little outdoor area in the middle of the complex, surrounded by large, tall walls but without a ceiling, letting the sunlight and fresh air in for the plants and everything. Perhaps he should visit there before they left.

“I’m sorry,” Luka said quietly.

Alec didn’t have to be a genius to know he was talking about the remedy and subsequent dispersal of the treatment.

Caleb shrugged and stood. “It’s okay,” he said, offering the kid a smile.

“I couldn’t do it if I were you.”

Caleb took in a slow breath. “Yeah, well.. someone has to.”

_Someone has to._

This was very true, as much as Alec hated it.

Someone had to die.

Someone had to set off the treatment.

And that someone was Caleb because Spear took the remedy, got rid of his immunity, and now Caleb was left either dying quickly via explosion or dying slowly via treatment.

It was a giant mess.

They pushed past Luka and Koda and continued up the stairs until they finally got to their floor. After entering their room, they kicked their shoes off and sat on the bed, neither saying a word. Alec took in a slow breath, struggling to think of something to do or say, but nothing seemed appropriate.

What was the appropriate way to do something when one’s boyfriend could be dead within the next week or so? _Willingly_ dead?

So nothing seemed right and the silence dragged on.

Caleb was the one who eventually broke it.

“I think I’d miss this,” he said quietly, causing Alec to look up at him, the blonde’s gaze focused on the ground, “if I could miss something.”

Alec took in a slow breath, fingers curling tightly into the covers beneath him. He opened his mouth, tried to say something, but failed in the end because he didn’t know what to say.

_I’ll miss you._

_I love you._

_I’m not letting you do this alone._

_Please don’t do this._

Nothing seemed right and it was all things he’d said before, anyway. It hadn’t made Caleb change his mind thus far, why would it change anything now? It didn’t matter anyway, because Spear had the remedy and Caleb didn’t. He was a dead man either way and there was nothing Alec could do to change that.

He couldn’t stop it.

He needed to accept that – there was no stopping this. Caleb was going to die and Alec needed to accept the fact it was going to happen. There wasn’t going to be a last minute rescue because this was _it_ and this quick, painless death via explosion was the best solution for Caleb, he knew.

That didn’t make anything any easier, though.

In fact, the inevitability of it all just made it _worse_ because at least before, he’d clung to some semblance of _hope_ but now it was all _gone_ because Spear had the remedy and Caleb didn’t.

Caleb would die, Spear would live.

_Not fucking fair._

“Alec?”

Warm hands cupped his face and he took in a slow, deep breath, dragging his gaze away from the ground to focus on Caleb’s eyes, a few inches from his own. “I’m… I’m sorry you have to… I’m sorry it… I’m sorry it has to be this way,” he finally managed to whisper, biting down on his lower lip to keep his voice from shaking.

He couldn’t make it worse for Caleb, after all. Caleb had to be terrified already.

A tired yet sincere smile worked its way across the blonde’s face as Caleb’s thumb smoothed over his cheekbone, eyes light and warm. “You don’t have to be sorry, Alec.”

_On some level, I know that…_

But it didn’t matter, because he was still just so damn _sorry_ …

“I guess there… was never really gonna be a happy ending for us… huh?”

Caleb sighed and pulled away, shrugging. Alec caught his hand, entwining their fingers as the blonde looked at the ground, chewing on his lower lip momentarily. “Yeah,” he finally sighed, “I guess not.”

“It… It would have been nice,” Alec said quietly.

Caleb leaned into his side. “Yeah… it would have been great.”

“Live normal lives…”

“Together…”

“Without mutations…”

They both sighed in unison, leaning into each other, because it was never going to happen. They were never going to get through this _together_ because either way, Caleb was going to die and Alec would _try_ to stay with him but somewhere deep down he _knew_ Caleb wouldn’t let him, would find some way to keep Alec from staying with him at the end, and he had nightmares about waking up from being knocked unconscious to find out it was _over_ and the blonde was _dead_ …

He closed his eyes, tightening his grip on Caleb’s hand. “I’m glad we met.”

“Are you?” Caleb asked with a quiet chuckle, the sound a low rumble through the little space between them. “I thought you hated me.”

“I did,” Alec said, “at first. But you… you grew on me.”

_And I’m glad you did._

“Bet you wish we never met now, huh?”

“No,” Alec said sternly. “I… I might not… like how it will… _end_ , but I… I’m not sorry we met. I’m not sorry it happened.”

“Alec…”

The blonde started to pull away and Alec wound his free arm around the blonde’s side, holding him in place, tightening his hold on those fingers in his grasp. “Are you saying you wish we’d never met, Cal?”

“No,” Caleb said, shaking his head, hair brushing lightly against Alec’s cheek. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m glad we met. I… I’m glad we got to… spend time together, before…”

Alec’s swallow was more like a gulp. “I know,” he said quietly, tightening his hold on the blonde. “I love you, Caleb.”

“I know,” Caleb replied, voice just as soft and quietly, a warmth breath against Alec’s neck, sending chills down his spine in all the right ways and yet also the wrong ways because this would soon be _over_ … “Love you too, ‘lec.”

Alec snapped his eyes closed once more, releasing a choked breath as he bit down on his lower lip to keep from making further noise.

Caleb stiffened somewhat against him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean… it just slipped, Alec. Sorry. Won’t say it again.”

And Alec felt so goddamn _conflicted_ because that was _Silas’_ name for him, and yet it also felt right when Caleb said it, too. Made them feel closer, if that was possible, and yet it hurt because it made him remember Silas. Except Caleb wasn’t Silas and never would be, and that wasn’t a bad thing. Alec would always, _always_ , remember Silas and regret what he did, but it was time to move on, right?

It had been years, after all. He’d come to terms with his death a long time ago.

Maybe this was just the next step.

“It’s okay,” he found himself whispering. “It’s just… a name. It’s okay.”

“Alec… I know Silas-”

“It’s okay,” Alec said again. “It’s okay.”

Maybe if he said it enough, it’d finally become true.

 

It took Alec a moment to realize why he woke up in the middle of the night, and what felt so different than usual. Caleb was pressed against him, curled into his side, which wasn’t unusual. One of them was usually like this against the other and a lot of times they switched it up. Caleb was warm against him but that, again, wasn’t unsual.

No, wait.

Alec frowned and rolled toward the blonde, pressing the back of his hand against Caleb’s forehead. “Caleb?”

The blonde groaned, leaning into the brunette’s touch.

“Cal, you’re burning up,” Alec said, pushing himself into a sitting position even as Caleb groaned and buried his head into Alec’s side, forehead ramming into his ribcage. He winced and eased out from under the blonde, carefully brushing back bangs damp with sweat, the unnatural heat pressing against his hand. “Caleb? You okay?”

Caleb muttered something under his breath.

“What? You’re gonna have to speak up, okay?”

“Don’ feel good,” Caleb breathed, trembling beneath Alec’s hold, shivering as he attempted to curl further into the brunette’s side.

Alec swallowed. “What’s wrong, Cal?”

“Don’ _f-eel_ good,” Caleb said again, voice somewhat shaky with the way his teeth chattered.

Alec’s alarm spiked and he moved to crawl out of bed. Caleb surprised him with his sudden, strong grip on his waist, holding him down to the bed.

“Don’ go,” Caleb breathed, head bowed.

“I’m gonna go get Zeke, okay? You’re sick, Cal.”

_And I don’t know why. You were fine earlier._

This was sudden and alarming and he didn’t like it. Especially not so close to their trip to Yellowstone. He didn’t want to spend their last days together with Caleb sick…

And that just sounded so horrible. Caleb was the sick one – it didn’t matter if Alec liked it or not, the blonde would always feel worse in this situation, and his needs mattered more than Alec’s right now. Would always matter more.

“I’m gonna get Zeke.”

This time he managed to pull free of Caleb’s grip and slid out of bed.

“Don’ tell ‘im,” Caleb said, head snapping up only to drop back down as he groaned, body trembling. “He’ll jus’… delay the trip…”

“You’re not going anywhere like this,” Alec told him.

And he had to admit, he was all for delaying this damn trip if it meant he got to keep Caleb a little longer.

“ ‘lec, don’t,” Caleb said, and Alec froze on his way toward the door.

He was actually happy it was dark in the room for once, because when he looked back toward the bed he couldn’t see fever-glazed green eyes even though he could feel the blonde watching him.

“You’ve got a pretty bad fever, Cal.”

“ ‘m okay.”

“Caleb… you’re sick. I don’t… I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

“Jus’ don’ feel good,” Caleb said, like it was simple. “Feel better later.” A small pause. “Please?”

Alec scrubbed a hand across his face but he knew he could deny the blonde nothing when he said that, especially when he sounded so damn tired and even a little pathetic with his sniffling, rough voice.

Sighing, he made his way back toward the bed and lay down, sliding back under the covers. A second later Caleb was burrowed into his side, his head resting on the brunette’s chest. Alec wound an arm around him and carded the fingers of his other hand through the blonde’s damp hair. Caleb relaxed against him despite the shivers and tremors.

“If it gets worse, I’m getting Zeke,” Alec said.

_No matter what you say._

He’d stay awake to make sure the fever didn’t get any higher. If it did, no matter what Caleb said, he was going to get the blonde some help.

Caleb either nodded or buried his head further into Alec’s chest – he wasn’t sure which.

 

It wasn’t better in the light of day.

In fact, it was worse. Caleb was worse.

His face wasn’t even flushed with fever anymore but instead this sickly pale color which left Alec tightening his hold on the blonde, the heat worse than it was before. Somehow he fell asleep and woke up to the increased heat against him and Caleb wouldn’t stop shivering.

He also wasn’t sweating anymore, which Alec knew wasn’t good.

“I’m getting Zeke,” Alec said, but couldn’t bring himself to pull away from Caleb because the blonde was frail and vulnerable, curled into his side, so he just kind of lay there staring up at the ceiling for a few long moments.

Caleb shifted somewhat against him, groaning as he did so, and Alec dragged his gaze from the ceiling down toward the fevered body against him. “H-urts.”

“Hurts?” Alec asked, frowning. “What do you mean? What hurts?”

“Dunno… jus’… nnghh…” The blonde curled into him more, body shivering a little more harshly, tremors ripping through his body. A moment later they died down and he went back to his normal shivering, and Alec watched him, frowning.

“Cal? What hurts?”

“Dun-no… jus’… _f-uck_ …”

His eyes opened then, blinking up at Alec.

_Oh, God._

Alec closed his eyes, taking in a slow, deep breath.

Hated fever-glazed eyes.

_Please don’t look at me like that._

“I’m gonna get Zeke.”

Caleb took in a slow breath. “Y-eah… m-aybe… you should…”

Alec sat up so fast he nearly knocked Caleb off of him. The blonde groaned and Alec quickly apologized, easing him back down into the soft pillows and warm covers before he crawled out of bed.

If _Caleb_ was telling him to get Zeke…

_How bad is it? What’s going on?_

He was nearly at the door when he heard something splatter behind him, and spun around to find the blonde half leaning over the side of the bed, gagging, a dark liquid dripping from his mouth.

_Oh God. No._

Caleb just puked up _blood_.


	55. Chapter Fifty-Five: Tests

Chapter Fifty-Five: Tests

 

Two days.

Two days since Caleb lost consciousness. Two days since he puked up blood. Two days since Zeke helped Alec get him down to the medical area where he was poked and prodded with various needles and whatnot. His fever hadn’t broken but thankfully hadn’t gotten any worse, either. But after blacking out on them on the way down here, Caleb had yet to awaken and Alec was growing increasingly worried by the minute.

Zeke offered no explanation for Caleb’s sudden illness, even though Alec recalled seeing a semi-guilty expression on his face. At the time he hadn’t thought much about it because Caleb was more important than questions, but now, sitting next to Caleb’s bed as he had the past two days, listening to the slow rhythm of the heart monitor, he wondered what it meant.

He couldn’t see Zeke doing this to Caleb for any reason, especially not when they should have been leaving for Yellowstone by now. They’d delayed the trip, of course, due to Caleb’s health and Zeke was making a few last minute touches to the treatment. Alec was happy the trip was delayed, yes, but this was what not what he wanted. He didn’t want Caleb unconscious with a fever for unknown reasons.

He wondered if it was Spear’s soup, but Zeke dismissed that notion after running a few tests. Then again, he did appear guilty, almost, so Alec wasn’t sure what to believe. While he was angry with Spear for entirely selfish reasons, he couldn’t see the guy doing anything to hurt Caleb. He couldn’t really see _anyone_ doing anything to hurt Caleb.

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t soon lose him, though.

Unconsciously, his grip on Caleb’s slack hand tightened as he released a slow, heavy sigh, glancing at the blonde’s pale face. A few hours ago he’d finally relaxed after a fitful sleep, head tossing and turning this way and that but he never woke up. At least he looked peaceful now, and Alec hoped that was a good sign.

Why was Caleb sick? What happened?

He had no answers; no one did. Unless it was why Zeke appeared guilty, but again, that made no sense because why would he hurt Caleb in any way, when he needed the blonde to set off the explosion? Harming his health seemed counterproductive to the treatment plan, as much as Alec hated that plan to begin with.

And thus he was back at square one, with no answers and an unconscious blonde stuck in the medical area.

There was a quiet knock behind him and he took in a slow breath, turning to look at the door as it opened to reveal Spear, who smiled faintly at him.

“Hey,” Spear said quietly, “can I come in?”

Alec shrugged and looked back at Caleb, sighing.

The door closed quietly behind Spear as he stepped toward the bed.

“How’s he doing?”

“Same,” Alec replied.

“Any idea what’s wrong?”

“No.” He took in a breath. “It wasn’t… the soup, was it?”

“What?”

“I just…”

“I’d never hurt him,” Spear said, sounding appalled, and Alec nodded, feeling guilty for suggesting it. “I just… made the soup because I know he hadn’t been eating well and… soup’s easier to eat than… but no, I wouldn’t hurt him, Alec.”

“Okay,” Alec said quietly.

“Zeke has no answers?”

“I don’t know. I think he’s hiding something but I’m not sure what.”

_And I’m a little afraid to find out._

If Zeke intentionally did this to Caleb, then Alec couldn’t be held responsible for his actions.

If _anyone_ did this to Caleb…

_Just wake up. C’mon._

“I’ll talk to Zeke,” Spear said, resting a hand on Alec’s shoulder. Alec fought the urge to shake the hand off and instead nodded, gritting his teeth to keep from saying anything he might regret.

A moment later, Spear left the room and the door closed quietly in his wake, leaving Alec alone with Caleb again. The brunette sighed and looked down at the unconscious blonde, the only sound that of the heart monitor and his quiet breathing. He wasn’t having trouble breathing, at least, Zeke assured him. He just had a high fever and puked blood and admitted to being in pain.

Alec sighed and scrubbed his free hand across his face.

_Why does this stuff keep happening?_

If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. One of them was always hurt or sick and Alec was tired of worrying. He was tired of that tight knot of dread in his stomach but it never seemed to go away, even when Caleb was awake, because he knew that soon, he’d be gone just like all the others. Just like his family, just like Silas, just like _everyone_.

Everyone left him alone in the end.

He took in a slow, deep breath, struggling to calm his nerves as he tasted bile in his throat. Eventually he managed to swallow it back down and closed his eyes, hunching forward somewhat, resting his forehead atop the knuckles he held in his grasp.

“Wake up, Cal.”

 

A day later and everything remained the same. Caleb remained unconscious and Alec had no idea why he was sick. To make things worse, his fever spiked some time during the night and Alec spent most of the night dabbing the blonde’s forehead with a cold, wet washcloth.

It reminded him entirely too much of Silas.

Now it was morning and Zeke was still running tests. To Alec’s knowledge, Spear hadn’t talked to him yet and he didn’t want to bring it up in the middle of Zeke attempting to bring down Caleb’s fever because the blonde’s health took priority here, not his questions. He’d get to that in good time, once Caleb was better.

Whenever that would be, though.

The door behind him opened and he turned in his uncomfortable plastic chair enough to see Zeke push into the room, chewing on his lower lip, gaze downcast. That knot in Alec’s stomach tightened and he took in a slow breath which did anything but calm his nerves.

“What?” he asked.

“I know what’s wrong with him.”

Alec released a breath. “That’s good, right?”

_So why does it sound like it’s bad?_

“I was doing a little air experimentation in my lab,” Zeke said. “With the treatment. Just to see how it should work in theory, when we get to Yellowstone.”

Alec nodded. It sounded reasonable enough. “And?”

“I thought it was completely contained,” Zeke said with a sigh, scrubbing a hand across his grizzled face. “But I was wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

Contained? Treatment?

His eyes widened. “You mean… the… the treatment did this? To _Caleb_?”

At Zeke’s nod, that knot tripled in size and he released a shaky breath, looking back at the unconscious blonde, swallowing thickly.

“But he’ll… he’ll be okay, right?”

_He’s gotta be okay._

Right?

“I’ve since remedied the situation,” Zeke assured him, and he could breathe again. “It was only a small dose, but since he was in such close proximity and it was a foreign element to his body, it did this to him. I’ll run some more tests but I think he will wake up in a day or so.”

Alec nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he breathed, swallowing. “Okay. Good. Thanks.”

_How could you do this? How could you run such experiments without telling us, and put him in danger like this?_

It only effected Caleb, after all, because Spear had the remedy and he didn’t. Was this the slow, painful death Zeke said Caleb would suffer if he didn’t set off the explosion?

_Oh, God._

He took in a quick breath, struggling to push those thoughts from his mind but it was incredibly hard to do so. He had questions but they could wait until Caleb was better. Zeke needed to stay focused on helping the blonde, not answering Alec’s questions.

“I am sorry about this,” Zeke said quietly.

Alec nodded. “Yeah… me too.”

_I wish we never came here. I wish we never met up with Spear. I wish we never left the community._

Nothing but bad things had happened since they left. Caleb would soon be dead and this was apparently the slow death he’d suffer if he didn’t set off the explosion.

Alec wasn’t aware his hands were shaking until Zeke rested a firm hand on his shoulder, steadying him somewhat. He wanted to brush the man off but instead took what little comfort he could from the contact, looking down at Caleb.

Zeke squeezed his shoulder once and then released him. A moment later he left the room and Alec was alone with Caleb again.

He reached for the washcloth and dabbed it across the blonde’s sweaty head. At least he was sweating again – that was good, right? It was always better to sweat out the fever. He hoped it was a good sign and hoped the blonde would wake up soon.

As it was, though, he wasn’t going anywhere.

 

Two days later found Alec startling awake when something crashed to the ground. He sat up straight in the hard plastic chair, eyes flying open wide as he quickly looked around. Finally his eyes made sense of his surroundings and he realized he was still in the medical area with Caleb. His gaze darted toward the bed to see-

“Caleb,” he breathed, swallowing. “You’re awake.”

Caleb glanced over at him from where he was attempting to pull the small metal tray toward him, a cup of water resting on it. “Hey,” Caleb said with a faint smile, finally managing to snag the edge of the cart, sliding it toward him. “Sorry if I woke you. I knocked the second glass to the floor…”

Alec blinked slowly. “Second…?”

“There were two glasses here when I woke up. Sorry for spilling yours.”

“How do you feel?” Alec asked, because that was what he really cared about, not the water.

Caleb shrugged and then groaned, sitting back heavily in his pillows, glass of water in hand. “Sore. Tired. What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” Alec asked quietly.

“I dunno. I remember feeling sick to my stomach, and I think it kind of hurt. Why? Why am I here?”

Alec took in a slow breath. “You were sick, Cal. High fever, puking blood… You’ve been unconscious for days.”

Caleb’s eyes widened somewhat. “What?”

“You really don’t remember?”

Caleb shrugged. “I dunno. It’s all kind of fuzzy. So what’s wrong with me?”

“Um…”

Alec wasn’t entirely sure how to answer this. It felt wrong to explain it without Zeke there to defend himself or further explain it, and yet he couldn’t just tell him nothing, could he?

“There was an… accident,” Alec said. “With the treatment. A little of it got into the air, and, um… you got sick.”

Caleb was quietly for a long moment, averting his gaze down toward the glass in his hand. “Oh,” he finally murmured. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Alec echoed. “That’s it?”

“It was an accident,” Caleb said quietly. “And I’m okay.”

“Caleb, you were puking up _blood_ ,” Alec said, like the blonde didn’t understand the meaning of the word. “You could have…” He took in a breath. “You could have _died_.”

Caleb was quiet again, for a long moment, before he shrugged. “Gonna be dead soon anyway,” he said quietly, voice a low whisper.

Alec pushed to his feet. “Stop it,” he snapped.

Green eyes blinked up at him. “Alec?”

“Stop being so goddamn _accepting_ of this!”

“Alec, it’s gonna happen.”

“Fuck you!”

“Alec.”

Alec’s hands raised, tugging at his hair as he spun away from the bed, back toward Caleb as he paced away a few steps, taking in slow, deep breaths, those steel bands tight around his lungs. “How the hell… How the hell am I supposed to… What the fuck am I going to do after this, huh?”

“Alec…”

“I can’t do it again.”

_I can’t watch people around me die again. Not like this. Not… not you._

Why was it never _him_ that was dying? Why was it always the people around him? It wasn’t fair. None of this was, because Caleb and Spear gave so damn _much_ to make this treatment for humanity…

Alec should have been grateful, really. In the future, he could have a life. A normal life like he used to have, without the threat of the mutations. And yet he couldn’t picture that life without cringing because Caleb _wouldn’t be there_.

“Alec. Come here.”

The voice was soft yet firm, a simple order which was easy to follow, and Alec found himself turning automatically, striding back toward the bed, hands lowering from his hair as he slowly brought his gaze up from the ground to meet those green eyes.

“You’ll be okay,” Caleb said quietly, holding his gaze.

Alec shook his head. “I won’t.”

_I won’t be okay after this._

Not after Silas, after Caleb, after _this_ …

“It’ll be just fine,” Caleb told him.

“Do you really believe that?”

“Yes. I do.”

The sincerity in the blonde’s voice left Alec cringing, a shaky breath escaping him as he scrubbed a hand across his face. “So if our places were reversed… you… you’d be okay going on while I died?”

_Why are you doing this? He’s probably not as pathetic as you._

Very true, and yet he couldn’t help but ask and hope Caleb might see it his way, see how things _wouldn’t_ be okay after this was over.

Caleb shifted against the pillows, averting his gaze down toward the glass in his hand. “Alec. You’ll have a life after this.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Caleb sighed. “You know how I feel,” he said quietly. “I don’t know if I’d be okay but I… I’d try, for you. So try for me, okay?”

Alec swallowed thickly, the sound a loud gulp between the two of them. “You can’t ask that of me.”

“Please.”

“Caleb. Stop.”

“What’s the harm in trying?”

“I… It…”

If he did try it meant he would be alive after Caleb was dead and that was something he didn’t want to have happen. He wasn’t suicidal or anything but he didn’t want to lose more people than he already had in his life, and be stuck in this endless cycle where he always got to live while others died. It was crazy and it certainly wasn’t fair.

Warm fingers entwined with his own and he looked down at their combined hands.

“It’ll be okay, Alec,” Caleb said quietly, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “You’ll see.”


	56. Chapter Fify-Six: That Uneasy Feeling

Chapter Fifty Six: That Uneasy Feeling

 

Caleb was released from the medical area the next day, after Zeke ran a few quick tests and confirmed his health was okay now, and he could leave. Currently he was sleeping in their room while Alec went down to the cafeteria to get them some food.

Fix was the only other person in the cafeteria, eating alone at a table. He caught Alec’s eye and waved him over. Alec sighed and approached the brunette, head bowed somewhat because he really didn’t want to talk, but it would be rude to ignore the guy. It wasn’t like Fix was to blame for any of this.

“How’s Caleb?” Fix asked when Alec got to the table.

Alec shrugged. “He’s sleeping.”

“Well, rest is probably the best thing for him,” Fix said.

“I guess.”

_Is this all you wanted? Can I go now?_

He just wanted to get their food and get back to Caleb. They were going to be leaving for Yellowstone in a few days and their time was running out. He didn’t want to waste it talking to Fix.

“Look,” Fix sighed, “I, um… I’m sorry it’s turned out this way.”

Alec looked at the ground.

“Caleb’s a good guy,” Fix continued. “And I don’t know what I’d do if I was in your place…” A small pause. “But I’m sorry it’s like this.”

Alec scrubbed a hand across his face.

_You’re sorry? What good does that do?_

He couldn’t blame Fix, though. Fix had to be incredibly relieved that Spear got the remedy and got to live. Alec certainly would if their roles were reversed.

“I made extra food,” Fix said. “Nixa and Spear are going to be coming down soon. I assume you’re taking food to Caleb?”

Alec nodded slowly.

“Grab some, then.”

Alec took in a slow breath and finally walked away from the table. After grabbing two plates he left the cafeteria just as Spear and Nixa entered. Spear caught his eye and nodded off to the side, but Alec simply shook his head and continued leaving. He didn’t want to talk right now, and besides, he needed to get the food to Caleb.

His trek through the halls was slower than usual, each step heavy and reluctant. He wanted to get back to Caleb and yet he was also dreading doing so because he knew their time was limited. He’d soon be alone, or dead with the blonde. These were their last days here, last days of semi-normalcy, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that. In a way he wanted to get everything over with, and yet he didn’t want it to come and happen because he’d lose Caleb and possibly his own life as well.

He took in a slow breath and found himself standing outside the door of their bedroom, feet plastered to the floor. He looked down at the food he carried, took in a quick breath, and pushed the door open, entering the room. He found Caleb sitting up on the bed, dressed in clean clothes. His gaze met Alec’s and the brunette swallowed as Caleb offered a faint, tired smile.

“Hey,” Caleb said quietly. “Thanks.”

Alec nodded and handed him his plate while he sat next to the blonde. They spent the next few moments eating even though he knew neither of them were probably very hungry. They never these days and Alec wondered if he’d ever actually feel hunger again, or be able to really taste the food.

Everything was in a holding pattern for the time being. Soon they’d leave and everything would end and no matter how he looked at it, nothing would be okay.

There was nothing he could do about it, though. He’d argued, fought against it, tried to change Caleb’s mind, tried to lean on Spear even though he knew it was horrible of him, and in the end nothing changed. Caleb was going to die and that was that. Nothing he could about it, he just needed to accept it.

These were their last days of peace. Their last days together in this room which had somehow become home even though Alec hated this place, hated this lab. He wished they’d never come here, wished they’d stayed in their community because at least then, the mutations were still a threat but they were safe enough and were together, and there was no certainty of death.

Now, though, there was.

For the good of humanity, Alec knew, but that did little to change how he felt. What good was saving people he never met if he had to lose the one person he actually knew and _wanted_ to keep?

_Not fair._

Life wasn’t fair, though.

“I’m sorry,” Caleb said, breaking the silence. “About everything.”

Alec took in a slow breath and nodded. “Yeah,” he breathed, “me too.”

And it was awkward, and he hated it, because things never used to be awkward between them. It wasn’t _supposed_ to be awkward. This was ridiculous and wrong and he wished it would end, but he knew that if and when it did end… everything would be even worse.

And he didn’t know what to do.

Caleb got to his feet, running a hand through his disheveled hair. It was slightly shorter than it had been. Zeke said if they were going to be traveling they’d have to have their hair cut because long hair could be deadly if a zephro latched onto it. Caleb would probably need to get another trim before they left. Alec himself had his hair now cropped short though he wasn’t sure why he bothered. Even if he made it to Yellowstone, that didn’t mean he wanted to walk away from it alone.

“I don’t know what to say,” Caleb said quietly, green eyes glancing at him. Alec swallowed and curled his fingers more into the covers beneath him, holding the blonde’s gaze. He wanted to look away, hide from this conversation, but he wouldn’t do that. If these were his last days with Caleb he wanted to be present for every minute of it.

“Then don’t say anything,” Alec murmured.

Caleb’s smile was thin and tired but there all the same. Alec inwardly applauded his effort even as he couldn’t bring himself to do the same.

“Thanks for staying with me,” Caleb said.

Alec took in a slow breath. “Yeah, well… not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I wish… things could be different.”

_Yeah. Me too._

But wishes meant nothing because no matter how much they wished for something to happen, no matter how much they wished for something to be different, that didn’t mean it was going to happen. Wishes were useless and were a waste of time.

Just like all the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘could have been’ and ‘should have been’ and everything else. Alec was familiar with regrets, after all. He knew how much dwelling on such things could hurt.

Caleb took in a breath, released it slowly. “We should… probably eat. And get some rest. We leave in three days.”

It felt like someone sucked all the air out of his lungs and he tore his gaze away from the blonde.

_Three days._

Three days before they left. Three days to be with Caleb. Three days to savor their last moments, three days to prepare and not prepare and grieve and not grieve and-

“I can’t do this.”

The words slipped out. They’d been said many times before but somehow they still held meaning, because his breaths were shaky now, his fingers curled into a death grip on the covers. He wasn’t aware Caleb was moving until the blonde said next to him, an arm slipping around his shoulders, pulling him into a solid, warm body.

“It’ll be okay,” Caleb said.

_I know you believe that. But you’re wrong._

So very wrong.

And yet to say anything would mean putting more stress on Caleb’s shoulders. He had to be terrified of this upcoming suicide mission, and the impact it would have on Alec and everything; he didn’t need to complicate matters by worrying the blonde further.

If he was still alive when it was over… then he could deal with it. He could rage and vent and punch and kick all he wanted, but right now, he needed to do what was best for Caleb.

In his final moments, he’d want everything to be stress free. He’d want to spend it with those he loved and enjoy being with them. He assumed Caleb wanted the same, and he would give him that small bit of comfort, even though it killed him inside.

He’d hate himself later. Would hate all these last days, these last moments together. He’d wish he’d done more, done little, done _something_ , but it would end up just being more regrets. But that was okay, because he could do this for Caleb right now. Later, when it was over… He’d deal with it then and only then.

Right now, though, Caleb needed him to be strong.

So he took in a breath, held it for a moment, and released it slowly. It shook on its way out of his mouth, tension forcefully being shoved out of his body as he leaned into Caleb’s hold, resting his head on the blonde’s shoulder. Once his breathing was under control he shifted enough to look up at the blonde’s face.

“Last days on earth,” he said quietly. “What are your plans?”

 

Caleb’s plans included a lot of Alec.

Alec would enjoy their time together a lot more if he didn’t know it was their last days here. Everything would soon change and there was no going back to this. No going back to how things were.

Soon it’d be over, either just for Caleb or for both of them.

“You with me?”

Alec blinked up at the blonde who straddled his middle, and smiled faintly. “Of course,” he said, bringing his hands up to lightly hold onto Caleb’s hips. “Where else would I be?”

Caleb smiled. “Good. I’d hate to have to hunt you down in your own mind.”

It was a joke which was meant to be funny. Alec forced out a chuckle even though he didn’t really feel like laughing. He watched as Caleb’s eyes dimmed a little, the smile on his face wavering somewhat, and he forced out a more real, genuine smile.

“Sorry, my mind is just… elsewhere,” Alec said.

Caleb sighed, all smiles and humor gone. “Right, well… this… bad idea, sorry. I’ll just…”

He moved to get off the brunette but Alec simply tightened his hold, swallowing.

“Alec,” Caleb said quietly. “It’s okay. You’re not okay with this. That’s fine. I understand.”

“I can’t just…”

Caleb’s hand landed on Alec’s, which rested on his hip still. “I know. It’s okay.”

_None of this is okay._

Why could Caleb not understand that?

“I’ll just… um… I need to go talk to Spear anyway, so, um… I’ll just…”

This time he managed to slip free of Alec’s grasp. Alec sat up and watched him move toward the edge of the bed, throwing his feet over the side as he tugged his shirt back on.

“Caleb, I…”

“It’s okay,” Caleb said without looking at him as he got to his feet.

“Caleb.”

“Alec, it’s-”

“It’s _not fine_ ,” Alec said, narrowing his eyes at the blonde who stood at the side of the bed, back toward Alec. “And you know it. I mean… _fuck_ , Caleb… I just… It’s hard to… do anything because soon you’ll… You’ll…”

 _Be dead,_ his mind finished for him. _Soon he’ll be dead._

It was hard to be with him right now because all he could think about was how much he was going to _miss this_. Miss everything. He had no idea what to do after this…

“Look at me.”

Caleb remained standing where he was, spine semi-rigid.

“Caleb. _Look at me._ ”

_You owe me that._

The blonde took in a slow breath and turned, dragging his gaze off the floor to focus instead on Alec.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said quietly. “I know… you want things to be normal right now, and… and I can’t…”

“It’s okay.”

“Stop saying that,” Alec snapped, glaring at him. “It’s not okay. And you know it!”

Caleb sighed. “We’re starting to sound like broken records, you know.”

“I just… I…”

_Can’t do this again._

“Don’t focus on the future,” Caleb said quietly, causing Alec to frown somewhat at the soft, sincere voice.

“Then… what should I focus on?”

“The present,” the blonde replied. “Who knows where we’ll be in a few days? A week? A month? No one knows. So just… stop worrying about it. Focus on the here and now, and not what might be later.”

“This isn’t exactly a _might be_ situation, Caleb.”

Caleb sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. He looked exhausted, but being sick would do that to a person. Not to mention the fact neither of them could really sleep very well with everything happening around them.

“Sorry,” Caleb murmured, turning away from the bed, away from Alec, to step toward the door. “I’ll just… I’m gonna talk to Spear. I’ll… be back later.”

Alec swallowed and got to his feet just as Caleb was shutting the door behind him. He stood there, staring at the door for a long moment, before he growled under his breath, curled his fingers in his hair, and pulled until all he felt was the pain in his head, physical rather than emotional.

_God dammit, Caleb._

 

He found the blonde an hour later in the cafeteria, sitting at an otherwise empty table. There was a plate of food in front of him but it looked untouched, the blonde’s head bowed down. He looked small sitting there alone. Alec took in a slow breath and approached Caleb.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

Caleb’s spine stiffened somewhat, leaving Alec swallowing thickly. “Hi.”

“I’ve been looking for you.”

He’d checked the cafeteria once, earlier, but it had been empty.

“Well. You found me.”

“Yeah, uh… I think we should… talk.”

“Yeah,” Caleb sighed, “okay.”

Alec sat next to the blonde, their shoulders nearly touching. “I’m sorry.”

Caleb finally lifted his gaze from his untouched food, frowning at Alec. “Sorry? Why?”

“I just… I messed up back there. I… It won’t happen again.”

“You didn’t mess up.”

“I did,” Alec said. “I told myself I wouldn’t… bring it up and would make the most of… these days, but I didn’t. I let it get to me. And ruined the moment. I’m sorry.”

“Alec, you have no reason to be sorry. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Alec said, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t worry you about it. You’ve got enough to worry about. I’ll… I’ll be okay.”

_Liar. You won’t._

“So, if you want… we can go back and try again.”

Caleb was quiet for a long time. Alec’s leg bobbed up and down nervously, awaiting his response. Finally the blonde sighed and looked away. The knot in Alec’s stomach tightened.

“I don’t want to make things hard for you,” Caleb said. “I think it’s best if we just… don’t.”

“Don’t?” Alec repeated slowly.

“Things are already hard. Let’s just… not.”

“Not this again.”

Caleb glanced back at him. “What do you mean?”

“We’re staying together,” Alec said. “Until the end.”

They’d already had this conversation a few times. Doubts were understandable, but Alec wasn’t going anywhere. Despite how much it would kill him later, he was going to spend as much time with the blonde as he could. All the way until the bitter end.

“Understand?” Alec asked, faced with the blonde’s silence once again.

Caleb sighed, giving into a slow nod. “Okay.”

They were on their way out of the cafeteria when they nearly crashed into Spear, who sighed when he saw them.

“I was looking for you,” he said. “Zeke wants to see you.”

“Why?” Alec asked.

“You know why,” Caleb said quietly.

“He wants to go over the attack plan,” Spear said.

“Attack plan…?”

Was there an attack plan? All they had to do was take it there, right?

“Which brings me to the other part.”

“What part?” Alec asked, even though he was pretty certain he’d hate it.

Spear took in a breath and released it slowly. “We leave in the morning.”


	57. Chapter Fifty-Seven: Overwhelmed

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Overwhelmed

 

One day.

That was all they had left.

One day.

Not even one day, really, since Spear told them a little after noon. They had less than twenty-four hours to spend together, and Alec had no idea what to do, let alone what to say. Caleb had been quiet ever since Spear told them. They’d silently made their way back to their room and not a word was said. That was nearly an hour ago, and still they remained in silence, both sitting awkwardly on the bed.

One day.

_One fucking day. That’s it._

One day until they left. One day before there was no going back. _One day_.

The silence was thick and heavy, surrounding them like an itchy, uncomfortable blanket. Alec had a million things he wanted to say, but had no way to say them. His voice left him after Spear told them they were leaving the next day. And thus the silence continued, thick and heavy and entirely unwanted.

Caleb broke the silence, sighing as he got to his feet. Alec’s gaze followed him.

“Well,” the blonde breathed quietly, “this sucks.”

Alec’s laugh was anything but happy. “Understatement of the fucking year.”

Caleb scrubbed a hand over his face. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying that.”

“Alec…”

The brunette pushed to his feet. “It’s not going to change anything. So just… don’t.”

Apologizing wasn’t going to get them anywhere. ‘Sorry’ didn’t exactly help in the long run. Besides, hadn’t they both apologized so much already?

Alec took in a slow breath. “Last night here, Cal. What… do you want to do?”

It hurt to ask, to say those words and acknowledge their meaning, but it was Caleb’s last night here. Tomorrow he would be beginning the count down toward his demise. All they had was the here and now, and Alec didn’t want to ruin it, despite how much it would kill him later.

Caleb was quiet for a long moment.

“I think… I want to shower one more time…”

Alec closed his eyes. “Yeah. Okay. We can do that.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Not getting rid of me, remember?”

A warm hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to open his eyes and glance up at the blonde, who was smiling faintly.

“Thanks,” Caleb said. “For being there for me. I appreciate it, Alec.”

Alec swallowed. “Wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He got to his feet, standing next to the blonde now. “Let’s go get that shower, yeah?”

He moved to walk past the blonde, toward the door, but warm hands grasped his hips, spinning him in place until he was facing Caleb again. Warm lips sealed over his own and his fingers curled in the fabric of Caleb’s shirt automatically.

All too soon it ended.

“Thanks, Alec,” Caleb said quietly, lightly pulling away from the brunette.

Alec took in a slow breath, fingers dangling from Caleb’s shirt. The blonde moved to step away but Alec held tight, stepping after him. Caleb quietly accepted his movement and stood still, leaning somewhat against Alec. For a long moment the two stood there like that, silently, Alec’s fingers unwilling to release their hold on the blonde’s shirt, and Caleb lightly leaning into him, neither ready to move.

He knew neither of them would be ready for _this_.

“You don’t have to do this,” Alec said quietly, gaze held downward toward where his other hand rested atop the curve of Caleb’s hips. It wasn’t intimate in nature, just simply a resting place and an easy way to keep the blonde near him for the time being.

“Yes,” Caleb sighed, “I do.”

“No, you could-”

“Alec.” Caleb’s hand clasped over his own, lightly dragging his fingers off their hold on his shirt. “You know I have to do this. Spear already has the remedy. There’s no going back.” He took in a quiet breath. “I’m sorry.”

Alec closed his eyes, giving into a slow nod because there wasn’t really anything else to say. They’d both said everything, right? Discussed it, argued about it, said and done different things… now all that was left was this terrible waiting game. Waiting for _death_ because it was _inevitable_.

Everyone died eventually, this was true.

But this…

_You’re walking to your grave, Caleb._

The blonde seemed okay with that, though. Either he didn’t care if he lived or died or he was hiding his emotions from Alec. Honestly he could believe either one at this point. He knew from the start that Caleb was a self-sacrificing bastard. He just never thought it would be to this extent.

_Save humanity. Lose Caleb._

_Save Caleb. Lose humanity…_

There was no easy way out of this. Even if Caleb didn’t set off the explosion, he’d still die a painful, slow death due to the treatment dispersal. Death either way. In a way, Alec knew this was the best deal for the blonde. He got to die on his own terms, and there would be no pain at all. It would be instant. He’d never know what was happening. It was better than living for six months or so only to slowly die in pain. This was the best deal, but that didn’t mean he liked this.

He hated it with everything he had and he wished they never came here.

Had they stayed in the community…

_It’s all going to be over soon._

Perhaps that was meant to be soothing, but it felt like something hitched in his chest and he couldn’t breathe for a moment, suddenly choking and gasping for air as he bent over at the waist, hands on his knees. Caleb’s hand was warm on his shoulder, lightly clasping it, and he registered the blonde’s voice but couldn’t bring himself to answer, voice trapped in his throat as he shakily drew air into his lungs.

“Alec?” Caleb asked. “Alec, are you okay?”

Alec shook his head. He was definitely _not_ okay. In less than twenty-four hours they’d be leaving this place, and if they made it to their destination, Caleb was going to die. They could all die. This was their last night of peace and how the hell was he supposed to do this… What was he supposed to _say_ …

_Thanks for the help. For humanity. Sorry you’re dying._

No. That was terrible and wrong and-

Warm fingers hooked under his chin, slowly lifting his head. His gaze shifted upward and locked onto those warm green eyes he’d grown to love, but would soon never see again.

And like that, he couldn’t breathe again.

_Tomorrow. Leave tomorrow. One day._

All they had left was today. Tonight. That was _it_.

“Alec?”

Alec shook his head, swallowing thickly as he dropped his gaze away from the blonde’s face. Caleb’s hand tightened on his shoulder, his other hand looping from his neck to lightly cup the side of his face.

“Alec? Babe, look at me.”

His spine stiffened then, though he wasn’t sure why. He let Caleb shift him about, let the blonde lead him toward the bed where he sat down heavily, and finally looked at Caleb when the blonde sat next to him.

“You called me ‘babe’,” he said quietly.

Caleb blinked. “Did I?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I know you… told me not to call you it and it just… kind of stuck.”

Alec shook his head. “Don’t apologize, Caleb. I like it. I… missed it.”

Caleb’s smile was weak but there. “Yeah?”

Alec nodded, reaching for those warm fingers which he entwined with his own. “Yeah.”

“Okay then… I’ll call you ‘babe’.”

“Why’d you stop?”

It was something he’d wondered about off and on for a while now, but never thought too much about it because they had much bigger things to worry about… such as the fact his boyfriend was going to fucking _die_ …

“I don’t know,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “I just… I felt ‘Alec’ was more… appropriate… given the circumstances.”

“What circumstances?”

Caleb always called him ‘babe’, even in the cells. Why would it suddenly change after everything?

Caleb scrubbed his free hand over his face. “I just… I’m sorry. I didn’t think… it would bother you.”

“It doesn’t,” Alec said, and then chewed on his lower lip. “Okay, it… kind of does. But I just… I got used to it. So just… you can use it, okay?”

“Okay, babe,” Caleb said.

What little happiness that brought him was smothered with damn internal clock counting down what little time remained.

 

Alec didn’t plan on sleeping that night. How could he, with how little time was left? He didn’t want to waste it on sleeping even though he knew Caleb needed the rest. They all did, really. But he didn’t plan on sleeping. Caleb and Zeke must have slipped him something, though, because his last memory was of showering with Caleb the night before, and suddenly he was being shaken awake. He opened his eyes and found Nixa standing over him, sad smile on her face.

“Hey, Alec,” she said quietly. “Time to get ready. We leave in an hour.”

Alec sat up quickly, looking around. “Where’s Caleb?”

“Not sure,” she replied, shaking her head. “He’s either in the labs or on his own somewhere.”

He nodded slowly. He could understand how Caleb could want some alone time given the circumstances. But he also didn’t want to be apart for the time being. Sighing, he pushed the covers back, scrubbed a hand over his face and crawled out of bed.

“What time is it?”

“Nine,” she said. “We leave in an hour.”

He swallowed and nodded, and she left the room. He took in a slow breath and stood there for a long moment, staring at the ground, struggling to gather his thoughts. His eyelids still tugged down due to whatever it was that was slipped to him. Even so he knew there would no sleep for him for the next few days.

If ever.

_Okay, Alec. C’mon. Find Caleb. You can do this._

Easier said than done, of course.

Of course he wanted to find Caleb, but another part of him dreaded seeing the blonde right now. Soon his reality would change and would never be the same again, and finding Caleb would be the first step in that direction.

But he needed to do this. They left in an hour and he’d regret it if he didn’t go find the blonde. If not for himself, he needed to do this for Caleb. He had to be terrified right now.

Finally he walked toward the door and left the room.

The halls were empty and silent, but then they always were. There were very few of them here, after all. It wasn’t like that community he and Caleb stayed in, with people and kids and dogs…

_I wish we never left._

If they stayed there everything would have been fine. Sure, the mutations would have still existed but they’d been dealing with them for years now. They would have been okay and they would have been together and no one would have to die. Everything would have been _fine_.

He wasn’t sure where he was going, body moving on autopilot, until he literally ran into Spear as he rounded a corner. He staggered back a few steps and watched as Spear steadied himself.

“Hey,” Spear said quietly, watching him.

Alec swallowed and nodded slowly, at least acknowledging him this time. Progress, right?

“Have you seen Caleb?”

Alec took in a breath. “No. Looking for him too?”

“Yeah. Just… wanted to talk to him before we left, but…” Spear scrubbed a hand across his face. “You should talk to him. He… Yeah. It’s you he needs.”

“Any idea where I can find him?”

“I’ve looked in the lab and cafeteria,” Spear said. “I was going to check your room, but… Try the garden?”

Alec nodded. The garden here was where they got their vegetables and whatnot, and was located in a greenhouse in the middle of the facility.

Spear clapped him on the shoulder. “Take care of him, Alec.”

_How?_

How could he take care of him? He was going to be dead soon…

Spear smiled sadly at him and then released his hold, turning away from Alec. Alec watched him go, then sighed and moved to head toward the greenhouse.

He needed to find Caleb.

 

He found Caleb in the garden, sitting on the floor between the lettuce and tomatoes. Taking in a slow breath, he pushed his way into the greenhouse and walked toward the blonde. He then sat next to Caleb, watching him.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

Caleb barely acknowledged him. “Hi.”

“We, um… leave in an hour.”

“Yeah,” Caleb breathed. “I know.”

Alec took in a slow breath, looking away from the blonde to gaze at the vegetables which seemed to have Caleb’s attention. “I don’t know what to say, Caleb.”

“Don’t say anything.”

“But…”

“It’s okay. Let’s just sit here quietly.”

Warm fingers brushed against his own and the brunette entwined them.

Nothing was said for a long time. The two sat there in silence, and for the first time in a while, it wasn’t awkward or strained, or thick and heavy. For the first time in a long time, Alec felt okay, just watching the vegetables, and it was entirely wrong because absolutely nothing was okay right now.

But at least they had this moment, and if it could stretch for an eternity, that would be great.

But all too soon it ended.

“It’s time,” a quiet voice said behind them.

Alec stiffened and turned enough to look at the intruder.

“Yeah,” Caleb breathed, “okay, Luka.”

_It can’t be time already, right?_

Surely they hadn’t been down there the entire hour, right?

Their lack of time slammed into Alec then, and whatever peace he felt before vanished, lungs constricting. Caleb pulled him to his feet, holding tight to his hand, and led him toward the exit.

They were almost back to the main lab when Nixa hurried around a corner, coming to a halt when she saw them, eyes wide.

“We’ve got a problem,” she said.

“Problem?” Caleb echoed. “What do you mean?”

“You’re gonna want to see this.”

They followed her back to the main lab where Zeke was looking at a computer screen. Spear and Fix stood behind him, both looking rather unsettled.

“What’s going on?” Alec asked.

“Look,” Zeke said, turning the screen toward them.

A line of zephroes stood outside, seemingly staring at the exit of the building, too many to count because the line led off screen, but it was entirely too many.

“What do we do?” Luka asked somewhat shakily, Koda sitting at his feet.

“We break our way out,” Zeke said, “and hope for the best.”


	58. Chapter Fifty-Eight: Break for It

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Break for It

 

Breaking out was easier said than done, in more ways than one. For starters, they knew it would be difficult to leave and travel anyway because this treatment was fairly large and they couldn’t carry it on their own, or in their backpacks. Therefore they had to use a wagon of sorts, with Koda attached to the lead. Luka and Nixa were to help move it along, standing on either side of its large tire-like wheels.

In theory, it should work.

But no one expected to see this many zephroes waiting for them to come out, either.

Alec took in a breath, glancing over at Caleb, who gave a faint smile and nodded back at him.

Alec checked his gun for the fifth time in as many minutes. After that he padded his hip where his knife was attached to his belt. He couldn’t think about the memories associated with it right now.

He checked and rechecked his mental inventory, and knew deep down that he had everything and this was a waste of time, but still he couldn’t help it. He never thought they’d need to break out of the facility. This was ridiculous! Completely and utterly insane, just like that horde of mutations waiting for them outside.

They were definitely getting smarter, and very quickly too. He knew they needed to disperse this treatment as quickly as possible, otherwise humanity could very likely be doomed, more so than they already were. The need for this treatment screamed at him even as his stomach twisted thinking about the upcoming explosion.

He startled when a warm hand landed on his shoulder and looked over to find Caleb watching him.

“It’ll be okay,” Caleb said calmly. “We’ve gone over the plan three times. If we get separated you know what to do.”

Alec took in a slow breath and nodded. Discussing the plans and actually doing them, though, were two entirely different things.

Warm fingers caught his own. “Babe, calm down.”

_Calm down?_

It wasn’t possible.

Even so he focused on Caleb’s voice.

“You’re shaking, babe,” Caleb said quietly, tightening his grip on Alec’s fingers. “Calm down. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

Alec nodded even though the words rang hollow in his head because _none_ of this was okay. Would _never_ be okay.

Footsteps approached from behind them.

“We’re leaving in five,” Spear said. “Whatever you want to do or say… I suggest you do it now.”

With that, the footsteps walked away and the two were left alone in the garden once more. Alec wasn’t even sure how they wound up back here but they did, both standing in the middle of a place of green life, surrounded by the certainty of death. A shiver crawled up his spine and Caleb’s fingers released his own, causing him to glance at the blonde.

“Alec…”

“Don’t say anything,” Alec said.

“I-”

“Don’t say it.”

“Babe, I-”

“ _No_ ,” Alec all but hissed, eyes narrowing into a steely glare which he settled at the blonde. “Don’t you say anything, dammit. You’re not gonna go into some crappy goodbye speech, okay? You’re not.”

“Alec… Babe, I know it… sucks, but-”

“ _No_ , dammit. Just… stop. This isn’t… goodbye. We’re just breaking out.”

Goodbye would come later. If he survived to be alone he’d never forgive himself. He could deal with that later, though.

Right now their main priority was getting the hell out of this facility.

“I love you, though,” Caleb said quietly, gaze focused on the ground.

Alec took in a breath, closing his eyes. “Yeah,” he murmured, “I know.”

_I know, Caleb. You don’t have to say anything. It’s… not okay, but it’s… okay._

Nothing was okay, but it was as okay as it was going to get for the time being.

He startled when warm lips met his own in a heated, gentle kiss which left his fingers curling into the soft fabric of Caleb’s black shirt, pulling the blonde more firmly against him. Their bodies met in all the right places, curves grooving together to form a new body entirely, one which combined the two of them.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss this. He missed it so _much_ but such thoughts were held back due to more pressing matters – like his boyfriend’s upcoming _death_. And the treatment. And _everything._

Caleb’s arms circled around his waist, dripping down his hips to curve around his ass, bringing the brunette closer to him even as Alec’s fingers clung to the blonde’s shirt, their mouths forever connected in a heated frenzy.

_Oh, God. You’re gonna die. This… This might be the last time…_

He wanted to let go.

He needed to let go.

Push him away, step back, _stop this_ because he’d hate himself later, dammit…

But instead he pulled Caleb closer, breathed in the strong, familiar scent of him, and buried his face in the crook of his neck, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. It calmed him if only briefly, and their kissing has stopped but still they held onto each other, neither willing to relinquish their hold.

_Let go, Alec._

No. He couldn’t. He couldn’t let this happen.

_Don’t die, Caleb. I can’t… This…_

_Suck it up, bitch. It’s not like it’s anything new. Dwelling on it won’t change anything._

_Don’t die…_

_Let go, Alec._

_I can’t… not again… Silas… Caleb…_

_Let go, Alec._

_No, no_ -

“Let go, Alec,” Caleb said calmly, firmly, his grip on the brunette now loose and limp.

Alec blinked, lifting his head away from the blonde, hands still clinging to him. “I…”

Caleb’s fingers caught his own, lightly pulling the suddenly fragile grip away from his shirt. “I know, babe,” he said quietly, releasing the brunette’s fingers. “It’s okay. But it’s time to go.”

“Already?” Alec asked, frowning.

Surely they hadn’t been like that for five minutes, right?

Caleb nodded. “Fix came to tell us it’s time to go.”

“He did?”

He certainly didn’t remember that.

“Yes, he did. I don’t think you heard him. You were… kind of lost in your thoughts, I guess.”

Alec nodded slowly, chewing on his lower lip, averting his gaze. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Okay, babe,” Caleb breathed, “let’s go kick some zephro ass.”

 

‘Kicking ass’ wasn’t exactly what they did.

As soon as they emerged from a side exit, zephroes were surrounding them. They couldn’t move too quickly due to the fact they did have to take the treatment with them, and the wagon and everything with it. Most of their supplies was on the wagon as well so that they could move as freely as possible without that weight pulling them down. They did still have to worry about the wagon, though, but thankfully the wagon did allow them to carry more weapons, food, ammo, and medical supplies.

Koda stood in front of them, growling, hackles raised. The zephroes began moving in and then the fighting began.

Alec wasn’t entirely sure what was happening, it happened so fast. One minute they were surrounded and the next they were shooting and stabbing and dodging was well as they could. In the chaos he lost sight of Caleb but couldn’t think about it right now, not if he wanted to defeat these zephroes.

Claws slashed through the air where he previously stood. He ducked beneath the swipe and stepped back all in one. His body moved of its own accord, things happening too quickly for him to think about his next move, a dance of instinct rather than choice.

He wasn’t sure how long they fought, how many zephroes they managed to take down, before they managed to finally clear enough of them out so they could at least make a run for it, despite how slow it would be due to the wagon and treatment.

It could have been minutes, hours, or days, Alec didn’t know. After what felt like forever, his mind cleared of the frantic haze and he realized the fighting was behind them. There were a lot of zephroes and he wasn’t sure how they actually managed to escape as they had, but he wasn’t going to question it. At least not right now, because he was relieved to be away from all those zephroes.

It was in the aftermath, after they lost sight of the zephroes, that he realized he didn’t know where Caleb was.

He looked around him, then, and found that three people were missing.

 _No_.

“Dammit,” someone muttered and he snapped his gaze over to find Caleb in the wagon, which was being pulled by Spear and Fix. The sides of the wagon left only Caleb’s head visible, sweat dotting his brow, blood splattered across his face. He raised a bloody hand and swiped it across the sweat on his brow, leaving red trails in his wake.

“Caleb,” Alec breathed, moving toward the wagon.

Once he got closer and moved around it a little, he could see three people in the wagon. Caleb, Luka, and Nixa were in the wagon, Caleb frantically trying to apply pressure to a large, gushing wound on Nixa’s thigh. Nixa was pale, body still and motionless save for the shallow rush of breath shaking free of her lungs. Luka was off to the side, looking exhausted, overwhelmed and bloody even though Alec couldn’t see any exact wounds on him at the moment.

Caleb’s attention was focused entirely on Nixa.

“What can I do to help?” Alec asked.

It took a second for the blonde to realize he was being spoken to, and slowly he nodded, jaw taut. “Yeah, okay. Bandages. That bag.”

Alec grabbed the gestured bag even though bandages were already being applied to Nixa’s leg. He hoped it hadn’t hit an artery or she’d be dead in minutes, unless Caleb could stop it.

He tossed more bandages toward Caleb who snatched them up and brought them to rest around Nixa’s thigh. As he tied them there, Nixa’s eyes snapped open and she gasped in pain.

“What…?”

“It’s okay,” Caleb said. “It’s okay, you just hurt your leg. You’re gonna be okay.”

Alec wondered if Caleb really believed that or if he was just trying to make her feel better. Either way, he did appreciate Caleb saying it.

A few minutes later Nixa was unconscious again, but at least her leg was properly bandaged. It would have to do for now because it was all they had for the time being, until they could find somewhere to stay and actually do a thorough examination of her.

Caleb caught Alec’s eye. “Are you okay?”

Alec nodded. “Yeah. I think so.”

Even so he looked down the length of his body. His clothes were sticky with blood but not his own. He had a few scrapes and bruises, and he could feel his body beginning to ache, but other than that he was fine.

“Are you?” he asked the blonde.

Caleb nodded. “I’m good.”

“So is she going to be okay?” Fix asked, suddenly right next to Alec, who startled at the sudden voice.

“I hope so,” Caleb said honestly. “I’ve done what I can, Fix.”

Fix took in a slow breath and nodded, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah, okay, sorry. I just…”

Alec understood; they were friends. They’d been traveling together for a while now. It was understandable for Fix to worry.

“Okay, Luka,” Caleb said, facing the youngest member of their group. “Your turn.”

 

They never stopped moving.

Two would pull the wagon and one would stay up as well, keeping guard. Those who slept stayed in the wagon, and they rotated duties. Days passed this way. They ran into more zephroes but only smaller groups and due to the ammo and weapons this wagon allowed them to bring certainly made it easier to kill them.

Nixa was doing better. Everyone was relieved. She was told not to get out of the wagon (doctor’s orders, according to Caleb) but she could still sit up and hold a gun, and thus she could help keep guard.

Currently Alec and Caleb were supposed to be sleeping. Caleb looked exhausted and Alec himself was tired too, and yet sleep wouldn’t quite come. Caleb managed to doze off eventually but Alec still lay awake, fingers lightly grasping the blonde’s wrist, feeling the warmth of his skin and the rhythmic beat of his pulse against his fingertips. He lay on his back looking up at the night sky, at all the stars and the moon barely noticeable.

“Babe.”

Alec swallowed. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” Caleb shifted a little closer to him and Alec released his wrist, allowing Caleb to settle into his side. “You should sleep.”

“I know.”

“So do it.”

“Tried.”

“Try again.”

“It’s not that easy, Caleb.”

“Well, make it easy,” Caleb sighed. “We have to get up soon.”

“I know.”

Silence wrapped around them for a long moment.

“Do you think we’ll make it to Yellowstone?” Alec asked.

“Hope so,” Caleb said. “Or else this was all for nothing.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“It’ll work,” Caleb assured him.

“How can you be so sure.”

“Because I have to believe things will get better.”

Alec took in a breath. “What if you set it off… and it doesn’t work?”

_You’d be dying for nothing._

“Don’t think like that, babe,” Caleb said quietly. “Things will get better.”

_How? You’ll be dead._

His mind was forever fixated on that fact. He knew there was nothing he could do about it, no way to stop it because even if someone else set it off, it could work and Caleb would still die. There was no way out of this mess.

“I’m not sure I can let you walk in there alone,” Alec said quietly, unaware he’d spoken until he felt Caleb’s gaze on him.

“Alec…”

“I don’t think I can do it.”

“Well, you’re not coming with me,” Caleb said firmly. “You know this is how it’s gotta be, right?”

Alec closed his eyes. “I know.”

_I just wish I didn’t._


	59. Chapter Fifty-Nine: Last Memories

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Last Memories

 

Days passed as though in a thick fog. Little was said between anyone and Alec knew they were getting close. Soon they would be at Yellowstone National Park and life as they knew it would change, or in Caleb’s case, end. But he couldn’t think about that because he’d done far too much of that recently, and it wasn’t going to do any of them any good to keep focusing on it. There was nothing he could do about it, after all, and worrying about it would only take a toll on Caleb. If it was this bad for Alec it had to be worse for the blonde.

Surprisingly they ran into very little resistance despite the line of zephroes which had been waiting for them outside the lab. Alec could almost feel them closing in, though, like someone breathing down the back of his neck. They were out there somewhere, possibly plotting something since they were smarter now, smarter than ever before, and he knew getting to Yellowstone wasn’t going to be as easy as it sounded.

Everyone was a little on edge. They seldom actually slept, and when they did, it was only for a couple of hours, none of them willing to really let their guard down for very long in case something happened.

Alec wasn’t sure how long it had been since they left the lab. Almost two weeks, he guessed. It probably wouldn’t have taken so long if they didn’t have to worry about zephroes tracking them. Since they did have to worry about that, though, they kept taking alternative routes which were more out of the way and random, instead of traveling there in a straight line. Just in case they went running into an ambush, apparently, and it scared Alec to think the zephroes were that smart now.

Stronger and more lethal than any human, these things didn’t need the advantage of strategic planning to add to their strengths.

As the days went on it was hard to keep their hopes up. Each day made the task seem more daunting. Occasionally they ran into small packs of zephroes but while they got a few scratches here and there, none of those zephroes appeared to be using human weapons, and no one was seriously injured thus far, after they left the lab. That was something, at least.

Currently he and Caleb were supposed to be sleeping in the back. Spear tried to let the two of them be together whenever possible, and for that Alec was grateful, but he knew it would make things harder in the end, when he had to say goodbye.

He didn’t want to think about that, though.

They were supposed to be sleeping, but again, sleep seldom came these days. Instead he lay curled into Caleb’s side, the blonde’s arms around him. If he closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment, he could almost imagine everything was okay and they weren’t going on a suicide mission of sorts, but then reality always seeped back in with the rocking of the wagon, or the quiet chatter of those pulling the wagon, or Koda growling or barking and it all just came rushing back.

Everyone was exhausted but no one wanted to sleep while they were on the move. After walking for so long, constantly, they had blisters on top of blisters and sore muscles.

After going so long without stopping, it came as a shock when the wagon suddenly rolled to a halt.

Alec hadn’t even realized he’d been about to doze off until his eyes snapped open and he found himself looking up at a ceiling. Caleb’s arms slid away from him as the blonde sat up, looking around in the dim lighting, lit only by a lantern Zeke held as he turned to face them.

They were in a garage of sorts, it looked like. A large one, too. Abandoned planes sat inside, practically reduced to rubble.

_Where the…? Why?_

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Everyone’s tired,” Zeke said. “We’re going to stay here tonight, get proper rest, and leave in a day or so as long as nothing goes wrong. It’s going to be hell getting into Yellowstone, I’m sure, and everyone needs to be at their best.”

Alec nodded slowly. That made sense, and yet it made him uneasy.

“Are you sure about this?” Caleb asked, climbing out of the wagon.

Alec followed after him as Luka stirred in the back of the wagon. Spear and Nixa were climbing out as well. Fix had been pulling the wagon with Zeke while Spear was on guard duty.

“I’m sure, Caleb,” Zeke said with a soft smile. “Today we can be normal people.”

Alec almost scoffed.

_What’s normal anymore?_

Normal used to be traveling alone, and then normal was with Caleb in the community. Now everything was shot to hell and what the hell was _normal_ …

“This is an abandoned airplane facility,” Zeke said. “We’ll take shifts keeping watch but at least we aren’t constantly walking. If things go well we can stay here for at least two days and recuperate.”

Caleb grabbed Alec’s wrist and began leading him away from the others. Alec blindly followed after him even as Zeke’s voice faded into the distance. He knew they wouldn’t be going too far because that would mean they could be in danger and no one would hear them, but he did assume they were going far enough away so as to actually be alone for a bit.

He was both happy about this and dreading it at the same time.

“Sit,” Caleb instructed, gesturing at a wall in the corner.

Alec did so.

Caleb sat next to him and lightly turned Alec so that his back was facing him. Slowly his fingers began to knead into the stiff and sore muscles of Alec’s shoulders and back and he all but folded into the blonde, groaning.

“Jeez,” he breathed, swallowing.

“I know,” Caleb said. “You’re tense, babe.”

“Yeah, well…”

How could he _not_ be tense?

With all the walking, the knowledge that Caleb would die very soon…

The impromptu massage lasted several minutes before Caleb released him and Alec turned enough to rest his back against the wall, sighing heavily as he glanced over at Caleb. Warm green eyes watched him.

“I can give you one if you want,” he offered.

Caleb smiled and shook his head. “That’s okay, babe. I’m fine.”

“Is that the only reason you wanted to come over here?”

The smile fell away from Caleb’s face and he averted his gaze. Alec swallowed, frowning.

“Caleb?”

_What’s wrong, Cal?_

What was wrong? More like what was right. Nothing was.

“Nothing,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Caleb.”

Green eyes focused on him. “It’s nothing, Alec.”

Alec sighed and shook his head. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

“I know,” Caleb said quietly, offering a small smile. “And I love you for that, but it’s just… it’s nothing.”

But he didn’t say anything, because he didn’t want to force Caleb to talk. Not right now, not so close to Yellowstone.

Instead he slipped an arm around the blonde’s shoulders and pulled their bodies closer together, resting his head against Caleb’s. An easy silence wrapped around them, calm and familiar, and in that moment, when he closed his eyes, he almost felt safe.

But as always, reality kicked in and left him swallowing thickly.

 

Nixa and Luka had first watch, along with Koda. Alec and Caleb were off to the side, mostly alone but close enough to call for help if need be, and there were weapons around them, not to mention there were no doors or windows near them. As it was, though, they were sleeping for once.

And then Alec woke to an elbow to the gut and rolled over to find Caleb tossing and turning in his sleep, sweat dotting his furrowed brows. He sat up and grabbed the blonde’s shoulder.

“Caleb? Hey! Cal!”

Caleb’s eyes snapped open.

“Are you okay? Cal?”

Caleb took a few deep breaths and then nodded, closing his eyes. “Yeah, just… bad dream. Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Bad dream?”

“It’s okay,” Caleb said. “Go back to sleep.”

“Have you been having them often?”

“On and off,” Caleb admitted, opening his eyes. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alec asked, frowning at the blonde.

Caleb sighed and sat up, scrubbing a hand across his face. “I’m just nervous,” he said.

“Nervous?” Alec echoed.

“Well, I…”

“Cal?”

Caleb took in a breath and released it slowly, averting his gaze. “Truth is, Alec… I’m kind of completely terrified.”

Alec closed his eyes, taking in a slow breath.

_He’s scared. He’s terrified. He admitted it._

Of course he knew Caleb was scared, but to hear him admit it… to know he was having nightmares about it…

To know that this was the first time he was hearing about this…

“Fuck, Cal,” he breathed, opening his eyes. “I’m _sorry_.”

“It’s okay,” Caleb said, offering a small smile. “Nothing anyone can do, right?”

“This isn’t something you smile about,” Alec said, narrowing his eyes at the blonde.

“What else am I supposed to do?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Caleb sighed, shaking his head. “It’s okay, Alec. I’m… I’ll be okay.”

“You’ll be _dead_ ,” Alec corrected, swallowing thickly. “Dead, Caleb. Not okay.”

“Either way I won’t have to worry about it.”

“How can you be so fucking calm…”

“Panicking won’t help,” Caleb said.

“You’re having nightmares!”

“I’m _scared_ ,” Caleb snapped, glaring at him. “I don’t want to fucking _die_ , okay? But we can’t stop it! Panicking won’t help. I’ll be okay.”

Alec scrubbed a hand across his face, closing his eyes. “Caleb…”

“I just… I mean… I’ve never been near explosions before,” the blonde said quietly, leaving Alec’s eyes clenching closed even tighter. “I don’t know what it will be like, if it will… really be… well, quick and everything. I just… I don’t know what to expect and it’s kind of freaking me out.”

Alec opened his eyes then and took in the averted green gaze, the pale face and finally the somewhat shaky hands. Caleb was really scared and was finally showing it, and Alec had no idea what to do or say to help make it better, to help ease his fear. The longer they sat there in silence the more Caleb had to go through this alone and he just didn’t know what to do…

So he let his body do it instead.

In one fluid movement he had Caleb pressed against a wall, mouth firmly closing over the blonde’s own. His hands tangled in the strawberry blonde hair, snagging and twisting locks in a desperate, rough hold, and Caleb’s arms encircled his waist, dragging him closer, smashing their bodies together into one solid unit.

Seconds later fingers were pulling and clawing, tugging at clothes and raking across bare skin and in the frenzy Alec’s mind finally caught up with his actions and he stopped mid kiss, leaving Caleb blinking at him, hands slowly dropping away.

“I…”

Alec didn’t know what to say. He didn’t mean to do this, didn’t want to take advantage like this, knew he’d hate himself later… but looking into Caleb’s eyes like this, so close, he could see that semi-desperate expression, and knew Caleb needed the distraction just as much as he himself did. After all, he wasn’t the only one that was shirtless here.

Caleb was scared and thinking about their upcoming trip wasn’t going to do them any good, so for the time being, Alec could give him this. He could give him this distraction, could be with him again even if it was for the last time, and yes he would hate himself for this later, when it was over, but for the time being he could do this. Caleb had done so much for him, after all. He could give him this bit of sanity.

And then his mouth was against Caleb’s once more and that heated frenzy returned. Fingers tugged and scraped and tangled and soon they were down to their underwear in some dark corner of this building, away from prying eyes and as alone as they could be, and that was when Caleb put a hand on his chest and lightly pushed him away.

Alec frowned, wondering what he did wrong.

“We don’t have to do this,” Caleb said quietly, watching him. “It’s okay, Alec.”

Alec shook his head. “I want to do this,” he said, and then chewed on his lower lip. “Unless you don’t…?”

“I want to,” Caleb assured him. “But you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” Alec said firmly, reaching for the blonde again. As the seconds ticked by he became more and more sure this was what he wanted, because if he let Caleb walk away now he’d never forgive himself for missing this chance, this possibly final chance to do something like this. He reached behind Caleb’s head and tugged the blonde toward him, their mouths connecting again.

Soon they were naked in that dark corner. Fingers scraped, raked, tangled. Mouths bit, kissed, nibbled. Hands skimmed, caressed and held tight.

Caleb stopped them just short of actually doing anything truly intimate.

“We can’t do this,” he said quietly.

Alec frowned, his arousal still ever present and yet also in the far corners of his mind because he was doing this out of love, not arousal. “What do you mean?”

“If… We can’t let our last time be like this,” Caleb said, shaking his head. “So let’s just… remember last time, and… and not…”

“Caleb.”

“I’m sorry…”

Alec swallowed, closing his eyes. He could understand what Caleb was saying, somehow even appreciate it, but right now all he wanted to do was be with the blonde.

“I can’t do that to you,” Caleb said.

“And what are you doing to me?”

_Leaving me?_

“I can’t let this be the last… memory of this you have, so just…”

“Shouldn’t that be my decision?” He opened his eyes and watched as Caleb averted his gaze.

“Alec…”

“I have to live with it,” Alec said, hoping his voice wasn’t as fragile as he felt. “So… let me remember it how I want to remember it.”

Silence wrapped around them for a long moment, and Alec wondered if he said something wrong, but finally Caleb gave into a slow, imperceptible nod.

Slowly, so slowly, Caleb’s fingers reached toward him, and they once again fell into each other’s embrace.

 

For a moment, when Alec woke encased in that familiar warmth with Caleb’s familiar scent surrounding him, he almost thought everything was okay, everything was _normal_ , and if he opened his eyes he would be back in the community with the blonde, asleep in bed…

But instead, when he opened his eyes he found himself blinking at a blank wall near him, and became aware of the hard cement ground beneath him. The only real warmth he felt was Caleb’s body wrapped around his own, one of the blonde’s arms wrapped around his waist and the other resting beneath Alec’s head as his pillow.

Alec swallowed, the events of last night and the past few weeks catching up to him. When he felt that familiar exhaustion after such an intimate act all he could do was clench his eyes tightly closed and attempt to breath as calmly as he could as he struggled to regain his composure.

He didn’t regret what happened last night. Of course he didn’t, since it was ultimately his idea, even if at first it was supposed to be a simple distraction for them both. In the end he made the choice to do what they did and he didn’t regret it. He’d never regret spending such time with Caleb. No, what he regretted was not savoring it more because he knew it would be the last time they’d ever do such a thing, would ever be that close again, and the thought just left his breaths coming out more and more shaky despite how he tried to control it so as to not wake Caleb.

In the end, though, he did wake the blonde.

Caleb’s arm around his waist tightened, pulling Alec backward more into the embrace, and he took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, struggling to control his breathing.

“Babe?”

“I’m okay,” Alec said. “Good morning, Cal.”

“Morning,” Caleb replied quietly. “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay,” Alec said again.

“Define okay.”

“I’m _fine_.”

Despite himself, Alec pulled away from the warmth and sat up, Caleb’s arm dropping away from him. He heard the blonde sit up behind him but didn’t turn to face him. Instead he looked around for his shirt and found it under where he’d been laying. He already had his pants on so he tugged the shirt over his head and listened as Caleb sighed and did the same.

Footsteps approached them then and Alec looked over to find Spear standing there.

“Hey,” he said quietly, “Koda’s acting up so we’re going to be leaving in five.”

“Okay,” Caleb said. “Thanks for telling us.”

_Leaving in five minutes. Fuck._

He felt Caleb’s gaze on him then but didn’t know what to say.

“I’ll just… I’m gonna make sure we’re ready,” Caleb said, getting to his feet.

Alec turned to say something, make him say, just in time to watch him walk away. And suddenly the words wouldn’t come, and he snapped his mouth closed, watching Caleb disappear around an abandoned plane.

 

They didn’t make it out of the building.

They almost did. Caleb and Spear brought up the rear while Alec and Zeke pulled the wagon, everyone else inside. Koda walked at Alec’s feet. Alec, Zeke and the wagon were out of the building when Koda’s hackles raised and he began snarling, and zephroes emerged seemingly from nowhere.

As soon as the zephroes appeared they sprang into action, and Alec dropped the handle of the wagon and frantically padded his sides for a weapon, pulling out a pistol. Then the real chaos began.

He shot and shot and missed a few times but managed to keep the zephroes off him for the time being. Not everyone else was so lucky, though.

He heard a scream and snapped his head up and over just in time to be tackled by a zephro which caught him by surprise. He managed to get his pistol up and fired a few times, and the zephro snarled and jumped off and away from him.

Alec scrambled to his feet just in time to see the light leave Luka’s eyes, two zephroes hunched over him, clawing him.


	60. Chapter Sixty: Yellowstone

Chapter Sixty: Yellowstone

 

In all honesty Alec wasn’t sure how they made it out of that mess with the zephroes, but they did. Somehow.

But it wasn’t a victory by any means.

Luka was dead.

Fix was bleeding all over the place with Spear and Caleb hovering over him.

Zeke had a broken leg which really slowed down their escape, but last Alec heard he was sleeping soundly in the back of the wagon.

Alec and Nixa were left to pull the wagon which carried a dead Luka, nearly dead Fix, and wounded Zeke along with Spear and Caleb struggling to stop the bleeding and help everyone. Koda walked along at Alec’s heels. If he knew the severity of the situation, Alec didn’t know, but he was a little grateful for the warm brush of fur against his leg now and then.

Everything went south so quickly. He was still struggling to process it all. Luka was just a _kid_. A fucking _kid_ … And now he was dead. Just like so many others. He didn’t deserve this. He was just a kid…

And Fix might be dead soon, he had no idea. He couldn’t stop to ask about progress, not when he and Nixa had to pull, Nixa grimacing with each step due to her still healing leg, and he had to pay attention to his surroundings as well for any sign of danger while the others worked on Fix in the back.

Everything went to hell.

It was bad enough losing Luka; what would they do if Fix died, too?

He swallowed, unable to process that thought at the moment. He didn’t want to lose anyone else, dammit. He’d soon lose Caleb and he had no idea how the fuck he was supposed to deal with that, but to lose everyone else as well…

His stomach churned. Bile rose in his throat but he swallowed it back down. They couldn’t stop long enough for him to throw up and attempt to collect himself, so he’d have to steady himself now. Nixa gave him an odd look but said nothing, for which he was grateful.

_What are we going to do…_

They knew this was possibly a suicide mission. Hell, for Caleb, it _was_ a suicide mission. He knew he wasn’t coming out of this. But everyone else… They had hope for the future and now it was crashing down around them. Luka was a kid, dammit, full of life and he’d been looking forward to traveling to Spear’s community when this was over… looking forward to not having to worry about zephroes…

Alec sighed, struggling to push the thoughts from his head.

A hand landed on his shoulder, then, startling him so much he jumped.

“Easy,” Caleb said, calming him somewhat. “It’s just me.”

“How is he?” Alec asked.

“He’s alive,” Caleb said. “We’ve done what we can. Fix is a fighter, though. I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

_You mean you hope he’ll be okay._

“And… And Luka?” Alec forced himself to ask.

It was quiet for a moment.

“We’ll bury him,” Caleb said quietly, releasing his shoulder. “When we can.”

“He didn’t deserve this,” Nixa said.

“No,” the blonde agreed, “he didn’t.”

None of them deserved this, though.

But there was no way out of it. No way out of this mess. They were in it until the bitter end.

 

“Alec,” Caleb said, shaking the brunette awake. “We’re here.”

Alec opened his eyes, confused for a moment until he realized what that meant. “We’re…”

Caleb nodded, the midday sun shining down on him. “Yellowstone National Park.”

Alec sat up and looked around at the large trees and all the greenery. Parks were associated with this sort of thing, but after traveling for so long he almost forgot what green scenery could actually look like, if given the time to look.

They were currently standing somewhere inside the park, surrounded by trees, near a river. They’d finally stopped moving. The day before, they’d managed to finally bury Luka. Fix wasn’t doing so well, and had yet to regain consciousness. Caleb had low hopes for a full recovery but Spear was optimistic.

Alec hoped it’d work out for them. He really did.

As it was, though, he climbed out of the wagon with Caleb, and joined Zeke and Spear who were looking over some kind of map. Zeke handed the map to Spear and turned to face the two of them.

“Alec, you and I, along with Koda, will stay here with Fix,” Zeke said.

Alec shook his head. “No. Fuck that. I’m going with Caleb.”

“Alec,” Caleb hissed. “Fix can’t look after himself.”

“So Spear can stay with him,” Alec said. “I’m going with you.”

Zeke sighed heavily, scrubbing a hand over his face before he glanced at Spear, who gave into a small nod. He then looked back at Alec. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll stay here with Nixa and Koda. You, Spear and Caleb set up the treatment.”

Alec nodded. This was still a horrible plan but at least he was with Caleb now.

“Spear knows how to get in, so he’ll lead the way,” Zeke said. “I’d show you myself but…” He looked down at his leg.

“It’s okay,” Caleb said. “Take care of Fix.”

Zeke nodded. “I will do my best.” A small pause before his expression softened. “You boys take care of yourselves.”

“We will,” Spear said. “Okay, you two, grab weapons and pack light because we need to be moving quickly, and we need to work together to pull that treatment in.”

Alec looked over to see the wagon mostly unloaded. It would be far lighter now, but would still be quite the hassle. Taking in a slow breath, he looked back at Spear and nodded, grabbing Caleb’s hand to lead the blonde toward the weapons.

Five minutes later Alec and Caleb were pulling the wagon forward, following after Spear who held onto the map. They moved quickly and silently, the wagon far easier to pull now that it was mostly empty, save for the treatment and whatnot. Alec hoped Fix and the others would be okay alone, out in the open like that, but right now he had to focus on the task at hand.

And how Caleb would be dead soon.

It hit him then.

_He’ll be dead before nightfall._

_This is his last day._

And he couldn’t breathe suddenly. His breaths were quick and shaky and he clenched his eyes tightly closed, because he’d been trying to prepare himself for this moment, for this day, for a long time now, ever since he found out about this insane plan. But now that it was actually happening he had no idea how he was going to be able to get through this…

“Babe? Alec,” Caleb said, a warm hand grasping his wrist, and he opened his eyes to find Caleb watching him, brows furrowed worriedly.

“I’m okay,” Alec said.

He needed to be okay, after all. Couldn’t distract anyone right now, couldn’t distract them with his problems. He should have been ready for this by now. There was nothing he could do to stop it, and short of dying with the blonde (which he was fairly certain wasn’t going to happen if Caleb had anything to say about it) he had no idea how to get through this day.

How would he feel waking up tomorrow, _alone_?

_Oh, God._

Caleb wouldn’t be there at the end of the day.

Time was ticking by way too fast.

They continued onward anyway, seemingly oblivious to this passing of time, the ticking of Caleb’s life, and Alec tried to think about something, _anything_ , else but found it increasingly hard to do so.

They stopped at what looked like a downward drop into some kind of cave. Down the slope was a large steel door, the warning labels long since faded away. Alec blinked at the door, frowning before he glanced at Spear, who pocketed the map after folding it into a small square.

“Leave the wagon here,” he said.

Alec looked up at the sky, wondering how long they’d been walking with him struggling to think about something other than what would soon be happening. He’d never been much on telling time with the location of the sun but it appeared to be late afternoon, so about two hours, then?

Jesus. Two hours.

Two hours wasted.

Two hours gone.

Two hours closer to Caleb’s death.

He swallowed and dropped his hold on the wagon even as Caleb circled around to begin unloading the treatment. They’d have to carry it from here on out, half dragging it as it was in a large container. They’d also have to arm it separately, which would be Caleb’s job once he was alone, since it was locked onto his DNA.

All Alec and Spear had to was put the treatment down in the desired location.

Caleb dug into the dirt beneath the wagon. Alec watched as he placed the four separate charges, which would eventually connect to one detonation device, in separate holes and buried them for safe keeping. They’d have to take the treatment in, place it, and then head back out for the charges. After that, Caleb would go back in alone, and Alec and Spear would start running. Caleb would wait thirty minutes before detonating the treatment.

And then he’d be gone.

They each grabbed onto the treatment and managed to get it out of the wagon. Then came the hard part of getting inside the cave-like place and down beneath the park.

 

It took nearly an hour to get that thing in position, deep in the bowels of the caverns beneath the large geysers in Yellowstone National Park. But finally it was in position and all they needed to do now was get the charges.

It was a twenty minute trek back out, all of them exhausted from maneuvering that thing through the caverns. Once back outside they took a quick break and Alec struggled not to think about what came next.

_Goodbye. That comes next._

Goodbye.

Caleb was going back in alone.

 _Oh, God_.

Currently Caleb was standing in front of him, watching him, chewing on his lower lip like he didn’t know what to say. Alec assumed he looked much the same, standing there like an idiot, afraid to do or say anything.

“Alec,” Caleb said quietly.

“No,” Alec said, shaking his head. “No. Don’t.”

“Babe…”

His eyes burned. He blamed it on the hot air from the many geysers, and from walking through those dirt-filled caverns. “No. No goodbye speeches, dammit. _No_.”

“Goodbye speeches are overrated,” Spear said, approaching them. “I need to tell you something.”

“Not you too,” Alec murmured, unable to look away from Caleb, gaze forever lingering on him, imprinting him forever into his memory.

_Just let me go with you._

It must have shown in his expression because Caleb scowled and shook his head, half glaring at him.

_I can’t do this. I can’t say goodbye._

“Alec,” Spear said calmly, “I need to talk to you privately.”

“What?” Caleb asked, glancing away from Alec, facing Spear. “Why?”

“Alec. Please.”

Alec felt torn. He wanted to see what Spear had to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Caleb, couldn’t look away, couldn’t move away.

“It’s okay,” Caleb said, nodding. “You two talk. I’ll just… unbury these.”

He knelt on the ground, and Alec looked away when Spear’s hand landed on his shoulder, lightly guiding him away from the blonde.

“Okay,” Alec said once they were far enough away from Caleb so the blonde couldn’t hear them, “what do you want?”

Spear was quiet for a long moment, pacing back and forth, before he finally sighed and looked at him, and Alec startled at the semi-desperate expression. “I always keep my promises,” he said. “Or at least I try very hard to keep them.”

“Okay…” Alec said slowly. “What’s that got to do with…?”

Spear took in a breath and released it slowly. “I don’t know how to say this, but… Look, okay, I’m setting off the treatment.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “What the hell do you _mean_ you’re setting off the treatment?” he hissed, heart hammering in his chest. “It’s locked onto his DNA! Not to mention the fact _you have the remedy_.”

“I don’t,” Spear said.

It was so fast and point blank that it left Alec pausing, staring at Spear for along moment, before he swallowed and scrubbed a hand across his face.

“What do you mean?”

“Zeke never gave me the remedy.”

Alec stared at him. “But… But I saw him…”

“It was just a small thing he made up,” Spear said. “The shot wasn’t anything.”

“But… But I don’t… I don’t understand…”

Did that mean Caleb had the remedy? Did that mean Caleb was _okay_? Was he going to be _okay_ and _not dead_ and _Oh, God, he might actually be okay after this is over, he might actually be fucking **alive** and_ -

“Caleb has the remedy,” Spear said, confirming Alec’s hopes, even though he hated hoping Caleb had the remedy because he knew what this meant for Spear. “It wasn’t Zeke’s testing that made him sick. I… I slipped it into his soup. His… sickness was him… becoming less immune. I also… had the treatment locked onto my DNA as well.”

“So he… He’s not gonna…?”

“He’s not going to die,” Spear said, smiling softly, sadly. “I told you I wouldn’t let him die.”

Alec couldn’t stop himself then. He dashed toward Spear and pulled him into a firm, tight hug, squeezing for all he was worth because-

“ _Thank you_ ,” he wheezed, that tight knot of dread finally unraveling in his stomach. “ _Thank you_ , Spear. Fuck. I… I mean… I don’t want you to… die but, _fuck_ , thanks. _Thank you_.”

Spear nodded as Alec pulled away. “I know. Take care of him, okay? Promise me.”

Alec nodded, still struggling to wrap his head around the fact that Caleb didn’t have to die here, that they could both still make it out of here alive, _together._

_He’s not leaving me. He’s gonna be okay. He’s gonna live._

It was everything he wanted.

Sure, Caleb would be pissed, rage against the fact Spear did this for him, but at least he’d be fucking _alive_. Alive, alive, alive.

_Oh, God. I’m not losing him._

_Thank you._

_I’m sorry, but thank you. So much._

It felt like this huge weight had been lifted and he could finally fucking _breathe_ again.

That was, until he heard a gunshot and darted away from Spear, hurrying back toward where they left Caleb. He entered the small clearing to find two dead zephroes on the ground, Caleb holding his pistol.

More zephroes emerged, then. Spear was easily pinned to the ground by a zephro who settled atop him, snarling as he loomed over him. Spear brought his blade up, slicing at the zephro, and Alec and Caleb sprang into action.

Caleb kicked the zephro off him and dodged as another came flying from around a tree, snarling as it lunged at him. He grabbed his pistol and fired three times in quick succession, killing one of them.

Two more joined them and soon the three guys were backed against each other, caught unawares.

“There’s gotta be more,” Spear breathed. “Fuck. I hope the others are okay.”

“Can’t worry about that right now,” Caleb said.

Always so fucking _calm_.

There were only three of them around them, and if they stayed focused they could each handle one, and they’d be okay. But that was assumed more didn’t show up in the time it took to take care of these.

Alec prayed there were no neutrohales.

_Please. Give us a break._

Caleb was going to be okay; he didn’t have to die. If this trend just continued for one more time… if things could just go their way this once…

Chaos happened then. The zephroes circled and lunged and Alec slashed and Caleb fired and soon it was over, three dead zephroes on the ground in a neat little pile, and Alec felt rather accomplished in that moment. He was a little surprised they’d managed to continue fighting off the zephroes thus far without dying, save for Luka, that poor kid. And Fix…

But he had to hope Fix lived.

For Spear’s sake.

And Nixa’s.

But Caleb… Caleb would be okay. He’d be fine because he had the remedy and Spear would detonate the treatment and he’d be _okay_.

For the first time in a long time, he could finally breathe.

_He’s gonna be okay. Fuck. He’s gonna live._

He wasn’t going to be alone.

“Alec!”

He snapped his head up at the sound of his name, having previously been looking down at the pile of dead zephroes surrounded in their odd blood. He looked just in time to be pushed aside as a zephro lunged from the trees, a silent hunter on the prowl.

Caleb occupied the space where Alec previously stood, and his push left Alec staggering to the side, losing balance and toppling to the ground, left him to watch as those teeth bit deep into the flesh of Caleb’s shoulder.

Caleb, who was no longer _immune_ …

“ _Caleb_ ,” he choked, scrambling to his feet.

 _No, no, fuck, no_ -

Then there were several gunshots and the zephro was dead, and Caleb’s pistol dropped to the ground as he wrapped his hand around his shoulder, groaning as blood squished between his fingers.

Then he looked up and caught Alec’s eye, and smiled faintly. “I’m okay,” he said quietly. “Immune, remember?”

Alec couldn’t breathe, then. Could only choke out shallow breaths as he crashed back to his knees, staring at Caleb in dismay because _no_ , fuck, _not fucking fair_ …

He wasn’t immune anymore.

He wasn’t fucking _immune_ …

_No. Please, no, don’t do this…_

Life couldn’t be this unfair, could it? It couldn’t give Caleb back and then taken him away again. No. Not like _this_ …

_A shoulder bite. Like Silas._

And now Alec couldn’t breathe for yet another reason.

“Please tell me you didn’t get bitten,” he whispered, unaware he’d spoken until he saw Caleb’s expression twist somewhat in confusion. He knew what he saw, knew Caleb was bitten but there was still this part of his mind that refused to accept it because _no_. _No_. Not fucking _fair_.

“Babe? I’m okay, really. Just hurts.”

“Caleb,” Spear breathed, “what have you done?”

Alec had almost forgotten about him, but now he looked over at him, unable to keep staring at the bloody shoulder for the time being. Not when he was struggling to convince himself this _wasn’t happening_.

Spear was pale, staring at Caleb. “No. You fucking… You got _bitten_ …”

“I’m okay,” Caleb said, clearly confused. “I’m immune, remember?”

“You’re not,” Spear whispered somewhat breathlessly.

Caleb frowned. “I’m not…?”

“You’re _not_ ,” Spear breathed, “you’re not _immune_ , Caleb…”

“What do you _mean_?”

“I gave you the remedy!” Spear snapped. “I gave you the fucking remedy you stupid son of a bitch and you just… you got fucking _bitten_. _Fuck,_ Caleb!” He tangled his hands in his hair, tugging in worried frustration, and Alec knew he wasn’t the only one suffering because of this bite.

_Not fair. Not fucking fair, please._

“Remedy?” Caleb repeated quietly, as it slowly began to sink in for him. Alec watched as his eyes widened marginally and those green eyes landed on the brunette, searching for clarification.

Alec managed to walk toward him finally, having gotten to his feet when Spear started talking. He grabbed Caleb’s arm and lightly pulled the blonde toward him, gaze running over the shoulder wound which looked so damn similar to Silas’, before Alec ended his friend’s life.

_No. Fuck. He’s not Silas. He’s okay. He’s okay, he’s okay, he’s okay._

Except he wasn’t, because he wasn’t immune anymore, and he was fucking _bitten_. Carefully, so carefully, like Caleb was made of glass, his fingers ghosted over the bloody wound, his stomach churning because it was just like Silas. Just like Silas and Caleb wasn’t immune anymore.

Wasn’t immune because Spear secretly gave him the remedy, and then didn’t tell anyone about it until _now_.

“Why?” Alec breathed, closing his eyes.

“Alec?” Caleb asked.

“Why the fuck didn’t you _tell us sooner_ ,” Alec growled.

“What…?”

“Why, Spear?” He rounded toward the black haired man. “Why didn’t you fucking _say anything_ …”

If he had, then Caleb would have been more careful. He would have been careful because he’d know he was no longer immune, and by this point there was no changing the plan, and it would Spear who set off the treatment so Caleb could focus on getting out of here with Alec. But no, Spear only told Alec mere moments before Caleb was bitten, and thus Caleb still thought he was immune and…

Alec swallowed thickly. “You took the bite for me…”

“I… I couldn’t let it hurt you,” Caleb said, and Alec slowly turned toward him. Confused, wounded green eyes watched him, as though searching for a solution to this problem, and Alec didn’t know what to fucking _do_ …

_Not fair. Please, God, not fair. Not like this. Not after everything. Not like Silas._

Not fair.

“It’ll… it’ll be okay,” Caleb said shakily, reaching toward Alec.

Alec wanted to lean into the embrace but if he did then it meant he might feel the heat of Caleb’s skin, even though he knew deep down that the fever wouldn’t have set in yet, but it soon would. He’d feel the fever, see the glazed eyes, listen and watch as…

_I can’t. No. Not like this, not again. Not Caleb._

_Not Caleb_.

Not after he only had him back for a brief moment. A brief moment of bliss, despite how upset he was that Spear would die in Caleb’s place, but it was a moment where things would be _okay_ and he didn’t have to fucking _lose the blonde_ , and now…

Now he was losing him again, in an entirely different way.

And that bite was meant for _Alec_. Alec, who hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. It was his fault. All his fault Caleb was bitten because he should have been _paying attention_ …

“I’m _sorry_ ,” he choked breathlessly, and Caleb’s arms slipped around him. The blonde was warm but only naturally so, not fevered yet but he soon would be. It would be a painful death and would feel like an eternity, Alec knew, but in reality would take maybe a few hours at most.

But it was still _death_.

“It’s okay,” Caleb whispered into his ear. “It’s okay, Alec. It’s _okay_.”

“I’m sorry,” Spear said quietly. “I… I should have told you sooner, _fuck_ , but… but I knew you’d argue with me and… and try to change it, and… _Fuck_ , I’m _sorry_.”

Later, when this was over, Alec would realize how sincere Spear was, how upset he was that this happened because he never wanted Caleb to get hurt, and he certainly never meant for his secret to end up like _this_. But right now, he felt nothing for Spear. Nothing, because Spear waited until right before _it_ happened to finally tell Alec, and not Caleb. Told Alec, who had partially been distracted by his happiness and had unwittingly led to Caleb getting bitten.

Because of him.

Because of _both_ of them.

Caleb wasn’t to blame. He was simply trying to keep Alec safe. For all he knew he was still immune, after all. So why not take the bite for someone who wasn’t?

_But you’re not immune anymore, Caleb._

And it wasn’t fucking _fair_.

“What do we do now?” Alec whispered into Caleb’s neck, eyes clenched tightly closed.

“We finish our job,” Caleb said. “This doesn’t change anything.”

“But…”

“Not buts,” Caleb said, lightly pulling him away, holding him at arm’s length. “This doesn’t change anything, Alec. This… This is for the good of humanity, and… and if I’m bitten, and I got the remedy… then there’s nothing we can do about it anyway.”

And then he had the audacity to smile.

Fucking _smile_.

Like it was perfectly fucking _okay_.

Perfectly okay he was _dying_.

Alec saw red for a brief moment.

And in that moment, he punched Caleb in the face.


	61. Chapter Sixty-One: Desperation

Chapter Sixty-One: Desperation

 

“Keep him awake,” Spear said.

Alec took in a breath. “You don’t know if this will work.”

None of them did. It was a shot in the dark but it was the only option they had at the moment, and he was willing to try and do anything to help Caleb, to keep him _alive_. Currently it had been thirty minutes since he’d been bitten. He wasn’t pale yet but Alec knew that would come soon, and he also wasn’t feverish but again, it would come very soon, and after it would come the pain and then inevitably _death_.

In the end there was always death.

The one, absolute certainty of life.

Spear was pale at the moment, sweat dripping down his face. He wavered somewhat on his feet, obviously dizzy and sick to his stomach, but that was to be expected when donating that much blood.

Their plan was to have a transfusion, of sorts, while Spear set off the treatment. He’d donated what they hoped was enough of his blood in the hopes of granting Caleb just enough immunity to keep him alive through the worst of the fever, and hopefully keep him alive after that as well. No one ever survived the fever – no one knew what to expect after it.

It was a shot in the dark and it probably wouldn’t work, but Alec was desperate.

“This is insane,” Caleb said.

“You have no input,” Spear retorted, tossing him a quick glare as he gathered up the charges.

“This is crazy,” the blonde said, shaking his head. He pushed to his feet despite Alec’s best efforts at keeping him down. “Why would you do this? Why would you give me the remedy?”

“I can’t let you die,” Spear said quietly, looking down at the charges.

“And you think I want _you_ to die?”

“For once in my life, I’m gonna be selfish,” Spear said, finally looking up at Caleb, green eyes steely with determination. “I’m going to be selfish and do what _I_ want. And I want you to _live_. So you’re going to.”

“You’re crazy,” Caleb snapped. “You have an entire community-”

“They’ll be fine without me.”

“They won’t!”

“They _will_ ,” Spear corrected. “They’ll be fine.”

“And Fix?”

Spear’s jaw muscles clenched and unclenched, expression softening and hardened at the same time, into a contorted look. “He’ll be fine, too.”

“This is _stupid_!”

“Yeah? Well, it’s my choice and I made it and there’s no going back now.”

And then he looked at Alec.

“You agree with my choice, right, Alec?”

Now Caleb was looking at him as well.

Alec never felt so trapped in his life.

“I…”

Of course he agreed with the thought of Caleb living, but that didn’t mean he agreed with the thought of Spear dying. All of this was crazy, and he didn’t know what to do or say and Caleb was _dying_ …

“Don’t drag Alec into this,” Caleb said, looking back at Spear.

While their argument continued, Alec looked down at the container of blood he held in his hand. It was as much as Spear could spare without being rendered unconscious and they had to hope it would be enough, and hope it even worked. It had never been done before, but if their immunity was ultimately in their blood, then, as Spear put it, it was their only viable option.

He’d have to keep Caleb awake, though, so the blonde could talk him through how to even go about doing this transfusion properly, even though there was nothing proper about any of this. According to Spear, it would have to be done just as the fever was reaching its peak because there was only so much blood he could give them for this, and it wouldn’t last long.

And then they’d have to hope that after the fever, it ended and Caleb could _live_.

_Please live. Don’t die._

Alec’s emotions had never been so up and down in his life, not even when Silas died. First Caleb was going to sacrifice himself, then Spear gave him the remedy, and now Caleb was bitten and this was his only option.

He could still lose the blonde.

In all likelihood, he was going to lose him.

Lose him after that brief happiness and hope that he could live.

 _No_.

There had been too many ups and downs already; he couldn’t handle any more.

Caleb had to live.

He _had_ to.

“Don’t do this,” Caleb was saying when Alec swallowed and tuned back into the conversation. “I’m bitten; I should set it off.”

“I gave you the remedy,” Spear said. “It won’t matter anyway.”

“God dammit, Spear,” Caleb growled.

Alec grabbed the blonde’s shoulder. “Caleb. Let him do this.”

“You’re biased,” Caleb snapped, shrugging him off.

“ _Caleb_. This is what he _wants_.”

Caleb stopped, then, glancing over at Alec. “But it’s not fair. He’s supposed to live.”

“He made his choice,” Alec said quietly. He wished he could wipe that expression off Caleb’s face but he didn’t know how. “It’ll… It’ll be okay.”

That was what Caleb kept telling him, after all. That it would be okay.

“It’s okay,” Spear said, causing Caleb to look at him. “It’s my choice. I don’t regret it. I just… regret not telling you earlier. I thought you’d stop me, and… and I should have told you. I’m _sorry_.”

“Spear…”

Spear’s lips lifted into a weak, fragile smile. “Take care of Fix for me. Please. And Nixa.”

“Spear…”

“Tell Fix…” Spear took in a slow breath. “Tell him I’m sorry. And that I… Tell him I love him.”

“We will,” Alec said quietly, lightly grabbing Caleb’s shoulder, knowing the blonde didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you,” Spear said quietly, looking at Alec. “Take care of Cal. Don’t… Don’t let him die.”

“I won’t,” Alec vowed.

_Not gonna let you die, Cal._

“This is ridiculous,” Caleb said.

Spear laughed quietly and shook his head, tightening his hold on the charges. “You two should start moving, before the fever sets in. Get as far away as you can.”

Alec nodded, knowing time was of the essence. They each had their part to play. Caleb was sick and Alec had to keep him alive. Spear needed to set off the treatment.

All that was left was goodbye.

And he didn’t know how to do it, or what to say.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’m… just _sorry_.”

“Life sucks,” Spear said with a shrug. “I’ll get over it.”

And then he smiled and opened his arms, and Caleb moved forward to give him a hug. Alec watched as Caleb wrapped his arms around his friend, watched the moment linger, and then watched as the two stepped apart. He reached forward to grab Caleb’s wrist, stopping him from following after Spear as the black haired man turned away from them, looking toward the door which led down into the caverns.

“Try to get back to Zeke before the transfusion, if you can.”

Alec nodded even though he knew Spear couldn’t see him.

“Take care of the others, please.”

And then Spear walked toward the small hill which led down toward the door.

Alec turned, lightly pulling Caleb along with him, Spear’s blood clasped in his free hand.

 

Alec wasn’t sure how long they’d been walking when Caleb began to lean heavily into him. He wrapped his arm around the blonde’s shoulders, steadying him as much as he could, and they continued walking. The heat burned through Caleb’s skin and left Alec wincing at the touch, and he knew it must have at least been an hour since he’d been bitten.

Maybe two.

Which meant they’d been walking for about an hour and a half. They were making good time, except Alec was sure the bite was worse than Caleb was letting on. The blonde went quiet a while ago, no longer talking about random things to help ease both their minds like he did before, in the cells. Now they walked in silence save for the blonde’s semi-shaky breaths.

As Caleb grew heavier and heavier against him, he wished he’d brought the wagon. Caleb wouldn’t have had to worry about walking, then, and he could save his strength. The wagon would have slowed them down a little but would have probably helped in the long run, now that Alec thought about it. Unfortunately they’d both dismissed the wagon as a time waster and left it back at that door.

Alec wasn’t sure how much longer they walked until Caleb’s legs gave way and he went crashing to his knees, dragging Alec down with him. Alec quickly put the container of blood off to the side, reaching for the blonde.

Heat blazed against his skin.

“Hey, Cal, take it easy,” he said quietly, cupping Caleb’s face with his hands, making the blonde look at him. He tried to ignore the fever-glazed eyes but it must have shown on his face because Caleb offered a small smile.

“Just a fever,” he said. “No pain yet.”

Alec knew that was probably a lie, but he was grateful for it all the same, releasing a choked breath as he nodded. “Can you get up? We… We need to get to Zeke.”

He’d know how to really help Caleb, after all. He’d know if this plan would work, or if it needed tweaked, or if… if they were wasting their time…

That was assuming he was alive, though.

If they’d been attacked, it was likely the others had as well.

Caleb was quiet for a long moment, before he shook his head. “Tell you the truth… stopped feeling my legs a while ago, babe.”

The admission left Alec closing his eyes, swallowing. “Okay,” he breathed. “Okay, so… Um. So that’s a no.”

_Oh, God. Let this work. Don’t let him die._

_Just like everyone else._

_Please. Don’t let it happen._

If this didn’t work… if Caleb died…

He didn’t know what he’d do. No fucking _idea_. At least before, there’d been the miniscule option of sneaking into the explosion with Caleb, dying with him so he wouldn’t have to be _alone_ again, after all of this, but now that wasn’t an option.

Now, Caleb was _bitten_ and Alec couldn’t fucking _die with him_ …

This bite was taking Caleb somewhere Alec couldn’t follow and he didn’t know what to fucking _do_.

“Tell me what to do,” he whispered, opening his eyes. “Please. Tell me how to help.”

“Babe…”

“Should I… start the transfusion?”

How were they supposed to know when the fever was at its peak? Alec knew it was at its peak when Silas begged for death, but if Caleb got to that point… if he asked that of Alec…

_Oh, God._

And suddenly he couldn’t breathe, because if Caleb asked…

_“Please, ‘lec.”_

_“For me.”_

_No. No. Don’t ask._

“Alec? Hey?”

Alec swallowed, looking back at the blonde from where he’d unknowingly looked away. “Should I start it?” he asked, because it was much easier to focus on that instead of Caleb asking him… _that_.

He wouldn’t be able to do it.

No fucking _way_ he’d be able to do it.

He could _barely_ do it to Silas, _for_ Silas, but he couldn’t do it to Caleb. Not even _for_ him, either. No. He couldn’t be the cause of Caleb’s death.

_And yet, aren’t you kind of the cause?_

His mind was cruel but honest.

_I got him bitten._

_That zephro was coming after_ me, _not him._

_It should have been me._

Never should have been Caleb, but that was fate forever taunting him, always making him be the onlooker and never the victim. Some might think that was a gift, but it was a terrible curse. He’d watched so many people die already, and history just kept repeating itself, forever with the zephroes taking everything from him, and now _this_ …

 _Don’t die_.

Caleb frowned at him. “Babe…”

Alec swallowed, unaware he’d said that out loud, and shook his head. “Should I start the…? Can we go further? I’d… I’d feel much better if Zeke was there when…”

Caleb’s expression darkened. “Babe… I can’t…”

“Just a little further,” Alec said, like it changed anything.

“I don’t know,” Caleb said. “I… I don’t know.”

“Can you… Can you keep going if I carry you?”

Caleb frowned. “You’re not carrying me.”

“I will.”

“Alec.”

Alec got to his feet, grabbing Caleb’s arms, lifting. The blonde’s legs were seemingly dead weight although they did move a little, attempting to help at least, and Alec turned, twisting enough so that soon enough, Caleb was situated on his back, arms wrapped around the brunette’s neck while Alec’s slid around his legs. Caleb held onto the container of blood, the container bobbing along Alec’s chest as he took his first few steps with this new weight.

“You’re crazy,” Caleb said, breathing into his ear, resting his head against Alec’s neck.

The raw heat left Alec swallowing thickly. “Stay awake, Cal.”

“Not gonna sleep,” Caleb told him.

 

“Put me down.”

Alec frowned, unsure as to how long they’d been walking. He was sure this was near where they left the others and yet there was no sign of them. “We need to keep going.”

“ _Put me down_ ,” Caleb wheezed, and Alec immediately did so, just as the blonde began puking, body shaking heavily with each labored breath.

He was pale, and hot, but he wasn’t sweating and Alec knew that was a bad sign. If he’d stopped sweating, then that meant-

“It hurts,” Alec murmured, “doesn’t it.”

Caleb gave into a slow nod as he finally stopped vomiting.

“How bad?”

The blonde shook his head, struggling to breathe, body shaking with each attempt and Alec reached for the forgotten container of blood.

“Can you make it a little further?” he asked quietly.

He didn’t want to force the blonde, but he also didn’t want to do this alone. He knew he’d screw it up, and he would just feel so much better once they made it back to Zeke. If he was even still alive, of course.

_He’s gotta be alive. They all have to be._

They had to be alive, and they had to help Caleb.

He reached to pick the blonde back up but Caleb rounded on him, eyes wide and expression contorted. “Don’t touch me,” he hissed.

Alec froze, that raw edge to the blonde’s voice leaving him momentarily speechless. He swallowed a few times before he managed to find his voice. “Caleb?”

“I can’t.”

“Cal?”

“I can’t make it any further, and don’t _touch me_.”

“What…?”

“Each fucking step is… Just don’t.”

Alec closed his eyes, realizing he’d been hurting the blonde the whole time they’d been on the move. If the pain was bad enough to leave Caleb puking, and left him saying not to touch him…

“Just a little further,” Alec said. “Then Zeke can-”

“ _No_ ,” Caleb said. “Jus’ gonna… Wanna stay here…”

His body weighed down toward the ground and Alec reached out toward him, holding him steady.

“Caleb… just a little further,” he said quietly, pulling the blonde toward him. Despite stating how he did not wish to be touched, Caleb leaned into Alec’s hold, sinking against him, his skin ablaze with the harsh fever. Alec’s arms wound around the blonde, holding onto him tightly. “Just a little further, Cal. They’ve gotta be around here somewhere.”

They couldn’t move that fast, after all, with Fix and Zeke both hurt like they were.

Caleb was quiet for a long moment, before he sighed heavily, dropping his head onto Alec’s shoulder. “Jus’ wanna stay here… please…”

Alec swallowed and closed his eyes. “Okay,” he breathed. “Okay, Cal, we can… I’ll do it here.”

_Please don’t let me mess up._

If he screwed this up Caleb would die.

_Let this work._

There was still no guarantee this would even _work_ , but it was all they had and-

_I can’t lose him. Please._

Life loved to hate him, but he just wanted this _one thing_ to go right.

Was that so much to ask?

“Talk me through it,” Alec said, holding onto the container of blood, easily opening it as he reached toward his bag which sat forgotten on the ground, dropped there when he went for Caleb.

“Alec…”

Alec pulled out the needles and IV tubes. Thankfully Zeke packed them, _just in case_ , as he put it. At least the man was always well prepared for everything. He just hoped it helped them here.

A hot, shaky hand covered his own, and he snapped his gaze toward those fevered green eyes. “ ‘lec, stop.”

“No,” he breathed, shaking his head, “I’m not stopping. Don’t tell me to stop, just… just talk me through this, Cal. C’mon.”

“Babe…”

“ _No_ ,” Alec hissed. “You’re not fucking _dying_ , so tell me what to do!”

Those tired green eyes closed, and then opened a few beats later, a silent acknowledgement of Alec’s request.

“Get the needle,” Caleb instructed.

 

“Caleb.”

Green eyes slowly blinked open, fever-glazed and dark, the brightness leaving them and Alec’s grip on the blonde’s arm tightened considerably.

“Caleb, stay awake,” he said, lightly shaking him.

Caleb winced. “ ‘m awake.”

Three hours into the bite and Alec knew they were nearly out of time. The transfusion was mostly finished, Caleb barely awake to talk him through it, but so far Alec saw absolutely no sign it was working.

But it had to work, as he kept telling himself. Why would Spear even mention it if it didn’t? It made sense, kind of, because it was their blood and their immunity cells within it that was needed to make the treatment, and since Caleb was no longer immune, Spear’s blood should work.

In theory.

If it worked, why hadn’t it ever been used before, as a cure?

But that would mean the immune people, like Caleb, would be basically forced to give everything to those around them, and there were so few like them, according to the blonde. So few, and so many un-immune people in the world. Plus, Zeke was probably the only man left alive who had been there in the beginning, since the scientists and doctors working on it were the first ones to die. Therefore, maybe only Zeke would know if it might work or not.

Maybe it had never been tried.

Alec honestly had no idea, but he desperately hoped it worked.

If it didn’t…

“ _Caleb_.”

Caleb’s eyes slowly blinked open once more, but the intervals between each blink were getting longer. His breaths were quick, labored and shaky, rattling as they came out, body trembling. They’d gone through a few spasms already, and it reminded him of what it was like when Silas was bitten, before his friend asked him to do _that_.

“Babe…”

Alec took in a quick breath. “No. Just… Just stay awake and… and I’ll fix this. I’ll _fix this_.”

“B-abe…”

Caleb had been slurring his words on and off, clearly trying to stay focused to help Alec as much as he could, but it was a losing battle. A cold, trembling hand clasped Alec’s own, stopping his attempts to keep doing the transfusion. There was very little blood left and yet Caleb’s fever wasn’t going down in the slightest. He wasn’t sweating but his skin was blistering to the touch, and his hands were freezing.

All bad signs.

“N-othin’ you… can do, babe…”

Alec shook his head. “No. I can… I’ll fix this.”

He had to, right?

He lost his family. He lost Silas.

He wouldn’t lose Caleb.

 _Couldn’t_ lose him.

Not after everything, and life was so fucking _unfair_ …

Caleb grimaced and released Alec’s hand, tossing his head backward, slamming it into the ground as his jaw muscles twitched and went taut, spasms tearing through his body. Alec rode it out with him the best he could, but the spasms were getting worse and longer and each time it was harder for the blonde to catch his breath.

“B-abe…”

“Don’t talk,” Alec said, despite how stupid it sounded. “Just… Just stay awake. I’m almost done.”

“Not gonna w-ork…”

“It will,” Alec said, because it _had to_ , dammit. It had to work.

_Please work._

“Alec…”

“ _No_ ,” Alec hissed, glaring down at the blonde and his barely parted eyes. “You’re not dying on me, dammit! So just… _stay awake_.”

Caleb groaned as another bout of spasms tore through him. “F- _Fuck_ …”

“I know it hurts,” Alec breathed, “but just… just… No.”

“Gettin’…. p-pretty h-ard to… breathe, b-abe…”

“I know, Caleb, I _know_ , just… just stay awake, okay? Almost done.”

"H-urts," Caleb whimpered, gasping for breath, struggling to breathe through the onslaught of pain Alec knew he was feeling. The blonde's fingers scratched through the dirt and grass beneath him, leaving trails in their wake. "A-Alec, p- _lease_..."

Alec swallowed thickly.

_No. Stop slurring. Don't say that._

"B-abe..." This time when the spasms hit, Caleb cried out, thrashing against the pain, and Alec could do nothing but watch, frozen. " _Help me,"_ Caleb gasped.

_Oh, God. Caleb, no._

Alec's hand snagged Caleb's, the hand covered in dirt and grass, and he squeezed for all he was wroth. "You feel that?" he breathed shakily. "Feel it? Focus on that. Fucking _stay with me_ , Caleb. I know it hurts but... but..."

Wild, desperate green eyes latched onto him, and he was once again frozen, breath caught in his throat. " _Please..._ I c... c-an't... _Alec_..."

More spasms.

"Caleb," Alec choked, "please. Please. Stay. I know it hurts, Cal, but... _no_. Focus on me, dammit, only me. Squeeze my hand for all it's worth. I'm here - I'm not going anywhere. Please."

"Can't breathe," Caleb gasped, fingers tightening around Alec's in a death grip, knuckles ghost white. " _Alec_... I c-an't... _hurts_... make it st- _op_..."

_Oh God. What do I do?_

"Focus on me," he said, because he didn't know what else to do. "Only me, Cal."

"C-an't s-ee," Caleb choked, coughing as the spasms returned and he whimpered, a pathetic, agonized sound, his skin entirely too hot to the touch.

"Look at me," Alec hissed. " _Look at me,_ Caleb."

" 'm l-lookin'," the blonde slurred, blinks becoming longer as more spasms caught hold of him. This time, instead of whimpering, he cried out. "M-ake it _stop_ , p-lease, m-ake it... _stop_..."

Alec's eyes burned, heart racing in his chest, desperation momentarily clogging his throat. "Please," he breathed, " _stay with me_. I love you."

Green eyes squeezed closed, a guttural sound tearing from his lips, his grip nearly breaking Alec's hand but he didn't care. Didn't care because he _knew_ what was about to happen. Knew it with every fiber of his being and _no..._

"Caleb," he choked, " _please_. I love you. I love you. Don't... Do you heart me?"

"C-an't _breathe_ ," Caleb choked back, but for entirely different reasons, his body shutting down on him.

Alec bowed his head forward, hunched over the blonde, touching his forehead to Caleb's searing forehead, closing his eyes tightly to keep that hot moisture firmly locked inside. "Yes you can," he said. "You can breathe. Focus on me, Caleb."

"A... Al..."

The fingers of his free hand curled into the fabric of Caleb's shirt, the material soaked through with sweat. " _Stay_ ," he breathed desperately. " _Stay with me_. Please."

"C-an't..." 

Caleb’s breaths were now sharp gasps, clearly a struggle to get his lungs to expand enough to draw in enough air. Everything was shutting down due to the fever, and Alec had finished Spear’s blood a little while ago, before the pain truly became too much.

"I love you," he said, forehead still resting against Caleb's, listening to those shaky, trembling breathes. " _I love you_."

Caleb's breath was more of a choked sob than anything, his face entirely too pale, his breaths sharp and quick staccato gasps. That light was leaving his eyes. That was what got to him the most - those glazed eyes, but for an entirely different reason than the fever.

_Oh, God, don't do this._

"Stay," he choked, forehead still touching Caleb's. "I need you."

"C-an't... b-reathe..."

A sob wrenched free of his mouth, choked with desperation. "Please, Caleb - stay... I can't... I... _Stay with me._ "

Coughs shook Caleb's body. Alec lifted his head away from the blonde's forehead, hovering over him, fingers clenched into the damp fabric of his shirt, the fingers of his other hand tightly clasping the blonde's.

_Please don't do this._

Caleb couldn't do this to him. The blood was supposed to _work_ , dammit. Supposed to work and save him and _no_...

"Don't," he breathed, clutching at the blonde for all he was worth, vision blurred with that hot moisture he struggled to keep in his eyes. "I love you. Please, don't. I can't... I can't do this without you."

"Al-ec, p-please..."

_No, don't sound like that. Stop slurring. You're okay. Stop slurring._

"I need you," he said. "I love you. Don't... You can't-... _Stay with me._ "

"B-abe... h-urts..."

"I know," he breathed. "I know it hurts, Caleb, but... You can't. You gotta..." He swallowed thickly, that lump forever stuck in his throat. "You gotta stay with me, okay? _Please_."

The blonde's attempt at words was drowned out as the next bout of spasms hit, leaving him gasping and crying out all at the same time. Alec was sure his fingers were going to break, Caleb was squeezing them so hard.

"I love you," he whispered, unable to think of anything else. Memories flashed through his mind, memories of them together and how much he loved the blonde, and how much watching this _hurt_. Worse than any physical pain he'd ever felt or could ever feel. "Please, Caleb. I..."

_It's not working._

The blood wasn't working. Caleb's fever was still too high, and the spasms were getting so much worse, and there was nothing he could _do_...

"I'm sorry," he all but cried. "I should have paid more attention. I'm... I'm _sorry_."

_I'm sorry. So sorry. Please._

"Caleb..."

It was then he heard an explosion.

It was louder than anything he'd ever heard before. Louder than a tornado, louder than the terrible silence after he killed Silas, and louder even than Caleb's shaky breaths. For a moment everything around him drowned out and he looked around, momentarily confused, before he realized what happened.

The wind hit them hard, leaves and dirt and twigs slamming into them. Alec hunkered down over Caleb, struggling to take the brunt of the impact, and then just like that, it was all over.

It was quiet again, and the trees were still, and looking into Caleb's eyes, they both knew what happened. It had been a few hours, after all. Long enough for them to get away from the blast radius, for the most part.

"Spear," Caleb breathed, expression twisting, and for a moment it wasn't because of pain, but rather the loss of a friend. Not physical pain, anyway.

_Oh, God. Stay with me._

Caleb stiffened, body going taut, before he relaxed. Completely relaxed, expression evening out, without those pain lines. Alec swallowed.

"Caleb?"

" 's okay," Caleb breathed, eyes falling closed. "Doesn't... hurt anymore."

A sob wrenched free of his chest. " _Caleb_ \- stay with me - I can't... I..."

Not feeling pain anymore was a sign of death. The physical pain had passed. Now there was only peace. Alec himself had experienced it when he'd been shot.

"Stay with me," he breathed. "I... _Don't leave me_."

_Please don't leave me._

"Open your eyes," he hissed.

" 'm tired..."

"I don't care - open your eyes!"

Tired, glossy green eyes opened, but only just.

"Over here!" shouted a voice, and Alec stiffened, lowering further over the blonde's burning, shaking body.

Nixa appeared through the bushes with Zeke hobbling after her on makeshift crutches made out of tree limbs. Both of them froze when they saw the two of them.

"Caleb?" Nixa breathed uncertainly.

"Spear..." Alec breathed, swallowing thickly, not releasing his hold on the blonde.

"I see," Zeke said quietly, nodding, but of course he wasn't shocked because he was in on the plan to give Caleb the remedy instead of Spear, so of course he knew Spear would be the one to die.

"Caleb's bitten," Alec said shakily. "He needs help."

_Oh, God. Please help him._

"Bitten?" Nixa echoed, clearly still in shock at the news that Spear was the one to set off the treatment, and not Caleb. Alec himself was still in shock but at least he'd had a little bit of warning, though not much.

"Zephro," Alec said. "He… It's bad. Spear… Spear gave me some of his blood to do a transfusion, and I couldn't find you guys, so I tried it on my own and _help him_ …"

"Alec…" Nixa said quietly, and Alec knew that tone.

"No," he growled, glaring at her. "No, he's not gonna die. He… The immunity in the blood will… It'll help. Right, Zeke?" Except it hadn't helped yet, and Caleb was...

Zeke frowned, which was clearly not the response Alec was looking for. "I don't know," he said. "Spear and I discussed it briefly but never got the chance to test it, and it's a long shot at best without a lot of blood, and even then it's questionable."

"It'll work," Alec said, swallowing. "Just… Just help him. _Please_."

And then he looked down and felt his world end.

" _Caleb_ ," he choked, " _breathe_!"

 

 

Chaos broke out around them.

Alec wasn’t entirely sure what happened next. One minute he was hovering over the blonde’s motionless form, shaking him, and the next he was shoved to the side as Zeke lowered himself onto the ground, sitting painfully, reaching for Caleb.

All Alec could focus on at the moment, though, was how Caleb _wasn’t breathing_. There were no more shaky breaths, no more gasps, no more fever-glazed, barely parted green eyes…

Instead those eyes were closed, the lids never moving despite how much Alec ached for them to open. His chest never moved, never rose or fell in any form of breathing, and spasms no longer tore through him.

He was still, quiet, and pale.

For all intents and purposes, he looked de-

“Help him,” Alec breathed. “Please, _help him_.”

_Please help him. No. No. Don't do this to me, you bastard!_

“His lungs have shut down,” Zeke said, attempting to pull Caleb up a little, hunkering down a bit to press his ear to the blonde’s still chest. “His heart’s beating but it’s weak and fast.”

_His heart’s beating. He’s alive. He’s just not breathing._

And then Caleb’s body started twitching, twisting this way and that and Alec watched in horror as Zeke attempted to hold the writhing body onto the ground. Alec hurried toward them and dropped next to them, slapping Zeke’s hands away because if Caleb wanted to move, he could, and if touching him hurt him…

“He’s not awake,” Zeke told him. “It’s a fever seizure.”

_Fever seizure?_

He’d heard about those but had never seen one before. He knew it happened when someone’s fever got too high and it started frying the brain. It caused this sort of seizure, and it seemed to be happening to Caleb now.

Caleb, who wasn’t even fucking _breathing_ right now.

How long had it been since Alec last saw him breathe?

He didn’t know. He hadn’t been looking at the blonde when he’d been talking to Zeke and Nixa. Guilt gnawed at him because he should have been more _attentive_ , but as it was, he didn’t know how long Caleb had gone without breathing.

How long could someone go?

A few minutes before brain damage.

And he was already having a seizure…

“Help him,” he wheezed, unable to catch his breath as the implications slammed into him. “ _Save him_.”

“Alec, I need you to breathe for him,” Zeke said.

Alec nodded but Zeke held out a hand to stop him from doing so just yet.

“This is going to be hard,” Zeke warned him. “Nixa will probably have to take over at some point so you can breathe properly. His lungs won’t work on their own right now, but he’s still got a pulse despite everything else. That means it’s just the lungs right now. This far into the fever, I would normally expect them to be dead, but he’s just not breathing, and that’s something at least.”

Was it?

Was ‘only not breathing’ really a sign? Was it working?

Either way Alec had a job to focus on right now.

“Keep breathing for him,” Zeke told him. “You’re the only thing keeping him alive. If you falter…”

_I won’t falter._

He pinched Caleb’s nose closed and sealed his mouth over the blonde’s breathing for him. Meanwhile, Zeke was doing something off to the side, with Caleb’s medical bag which they’d left behind with them and Fix, and-

_Fix. Shit. Hope he’s okay._

But he couldn’t worry about that right now because he had a very important job to do. The rise and fall of Caleb’s chest was semi-rhythmic but it was only an illusion, because it was all Alec’s doing, not Caleb’s.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there like that, as day gave way to night, but it felt like an eternity. All he knew was Caleb still wasn’t breathing and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this. Sweat raced down his face, his heart raced in his chest, and he couldn’t catch his breath. He never had enough time to do so before it was time to breathe for Caleb again. But he could do this for as long as it took, because he couldn’t fail the blonde.

If he had to do this for an eternity to keep the blonde with him, he would do so in a heartbeat.

Nixa tried to push him away, take over for him, and some primal instinct left him growling at her, hunkering further over that too-still body which was still hot to the touch. This time he took the heat as a good sign, because if Caleb was dead, or anywhere near it right now with the lack of oxygen, he’d be cold, and he was still hot with a fever. That meant Alec was doing his job.

And that wasn’t something he was about to hand over to Nixa. No offense to her but Caleb was _his_ , and _his_ responsibility, and _Alec_ would be the one to breathe for him, not her.

 

 

Exhaustion had long since weighed into his muscles but he couldn’t stop. He had to keep breathing for the blonde, keep him alive. He could no longer feel most of his muscles and his mouth had long since gone numb from continuously smashing it against Caleb’s. He tasted blood on his teeth from a smashed lip and could see slight bruising around Caleb’s, a darkness against the pallor, but he felt no guilt. This was for Caleb, after all – to keep him _alive_.

It was getting increasingly harder to draw in as much breath as he needed, his lungs aching and sore, but he refused to stop, refused to hand the job over to Nixa. He had no real sense of time at the moment, but he knew it had been a while since he’d been breathing for the blonde, and far longer than anyone else had lasted after a bite. Caleb was still alive, and Zeke was still pumping something into his system via syringe, but Alec had no idea what it was.

It was getting harder to think, too. The world spun from his own lack of oxygen but still he refused to give up. He gulped in just enough air to then give to Caleb, and then continued to repeat the process.

And then Zeke reached an arm out, halting him, and Alec wanted to keep going but stopped at the look on the man’s face. Zeke lowered his head, resting it atop Caleb’s chest, holding tight to his wrist, before he sighed and looked at Alec.

And Alec knew that expression. Knew what it meant, and instantly he was shaking his head.

“No,” he said breathlessly. “ _No_.”

“His pulse is gone, Alec.”

“ _No_ ,” Alec snapped. “He’s okay! Help him!”

He smashed his mouth back against Caleb’s breathing for him, and nearly collapsed in relief when, instead of arguing, Zeke began doing compressions when Alec pulled back to suck in his own air. Alec waited for the compressions to stop before he breathed for the blonde again, and then more compressions were done.

Alec didn’t know much about CPR except that Spear did it on Caleb before, after the blonde was stabbed with _Alec’s_ knife and stopped breathing then. Now it was being done again and all he could do was _watch_ and _wait_ and _no…_

_Breathe, Caleb. Please, just… fucking breathe!_

Spear was dead, Luka was dead, Fix might have been dead, and now Caleb wasn’t breathing and had no pulse. Life hated them, and Alec knew he was a horrible person, but why did life have to take it out on those around him? Why Caleb?

_No._

_Not Caleb._

As the seconds ticked by into minutes, it became harder for him to ignore the stinging in his eyes, and he couldn’t blame it on exhaustion anymore.

_Not Caleb._

Anyone but him.

He couldn’t go back to being _alone_ , dammit, not like before. Not after he had something _better_ , something worth _fighting for_ , and-

“ _Breathe_ ,” he wheezed through a breath. “Fucking… _Breathe,_ Caleb…”

“There’s still no pulse, Alec.”

Nixa’s hand landed on his shoulder as he looked at Zeke.

“Keep trying,” he said.

“Alec. It’s been five minutes.”

Five minutes since his heart stopped beating. Who knew how long it had been since he’d stopped breathing.

 _Too long_.

“No, no, he’s okay,” Alec said, shaking his head, “he’s okay, he’s _okay_ …”

“Alec,” Nixa murmured. “I’m sorry.”

And those were two words he did _not_ want to hear. That was a _tone_ he didn’t want to hear.

“ _Breathe_ , you fucking _bastard_ ,” Alec hissed, slamming his hand down on Caleb’s still chest, looking down at those blue, bruised lips. He was getting cold now, mouth no longer hot, cheeks losing their flushed hue. “Breathe, Caleb.”

His free hand slipped from where it had bene pinching Caleb’s nose to instead trace over the blonde’s cheekbone, sliding downward across the jawline where he then half cupped Caleb’s face, rolling his head toward him.

“Caleb,” he breathed, unable to talk louder than a whisper, exhaustion heavy in his throat and body, “ _Please_. Please don’t do this. _Breathe_!”

_Breathe, Cal, c’mon, please._

If he didn’t breathe…

If he didn’t get a pulse…

“Keep trying,” Alec growled, looking at Zeke. “Help him!”

Zeke looked down at Caleb’s motionless form. “Alec, I don’t think it’s going to help.”

“You don’t know that!” Alec snapped. “Help him!”

Zeke sighed and nodded. “One more minute, Alec. And then we… we need to let him go.”

Alec pinched Caleb’s nose closed, ignoring Zeke’s words, and breathed for the blonde again.


	62. Chapter Sixty-Two: Redemption

Chapter Sixty-Two: Redemption

 

Alec looked out over the rising sun and tried to feel anything other than exhaustion, deep down to his bones, but it was hopeless. The park seemed far less beautiful than before, a vast expansion of its trees destroyed in the explosion, and while Alec wasn’t in the blast radius, he didn’t have to see the damage to know it was there.

Spear did his job in setting off the explosion. Fix was alive but not awake, and Alec dreaded when he actually woke up and they had to tell him what Spear did, how he lied to them all until the very end where he then sacrificed himself in more ways than one.

Koda seemed to sense the somber mood, his chin laying on Alec’s lap as the brunette sat heavily on a fallen tree trunk. Alec ran a hand across the soft fur, his other hand forever planted across the blonde’s heart, feeling the rhythmic thud-thud and slow rise and fall of his chest.

Caleb was alive, miraculously. Alec wasn’t sure who was more startled when the blonde started breathing again – Zeke, Alec, or Caleb himself. Caleb regained consciousness only then, gasping and choking and shoving them away, ribs clearly broken from Zeke’s compressions, every breath agony, but the close call left his fever broken and thus far it hadn’t returned.

The blonde was unconscious again and Zeke was worried about brain damage from the fever seizure and how long Caleb had gone without breathing, despite Alec’s breathing for him. Alec liked to think he did a good job in breathing for Caleb, but what if he didn’t? What if he failed miserably and now Caleb would suffer for it?

But at least he was alive.

The first un-immune person to survive a zephro bite.

Alec lost everything to those zephroes in the past, but this was battle they would not be winning. Spear’s blood miraculously worked, and Caleb was alive. Everyone seemed to be in shock, both because of Spear’s sacrifice and Caleb’s ability to breathe on his own, and survive the bite of a zephro.

Alec would probably feel something other than exhaustion later, once the shock wore off, like guilt and anger and regret, and mourn Spear and Luka then, but for right now he was more than content sitting here, next to Caleb, with his hand forever planted atop that stubbornly beating heart.

No one had spoken in hours, but as the sun rose higher, giving way to day, Zeke cleared his throat, startling everyone. Nixa literally flinched at the sudden sound.

“It’s been a long day, and long night,” Zeke said quietly. “You two should sleep.”

 _You two_.

There were so few of them left. Fix was alive, but could die due to infection of the wounds, or a sudden relapse, and there was no guarantee he’d wake up, and Luka and Spear were both very dead. Caleb could also suffer a sudden relapse, though Alec cringed to think about it. The only two capable people here right now were Alec and Nixa, and he didn’t think either of them were really ready to be doing anything.

They were both still in shock.

Only Zeke knew what Spear was planning.

The only shock for him was that Caleb was bitten.

And that he lived.

“I can’t sleep,” Nixa said, shaking her head, and Alec silently agreed with her.

If he slept then who would keep a constant eye on Caleb?

“I’ll keep watch,” Zeke said.

_You have a broken leg. What if something happens?_

That was perhaps a little harsh, because he could still move around despite his broken leg, and could still use a gun, and could still wake them up if need be, but Alec couldn’t bring himself to settle down and sleep. Not after everything that had happened these past few days, and not after the rollercoaster ride his emotions took in the past twenty-four-hours.

He was too spent to sleep.

“Sleep,” Zeke said.

“I can’t,” Nixa said, shaking her head. “Not after… What the hell am I going to tell Fix? Everyone back home? I can’t…”

Alec ached for her, he really did, but even so he was selfishly happy Spear did what he did, and he knew he was a terrible person for thinking this way, but he couldn’t help it.

“You _knew_ about this,” Nixa breathed, looking at Zeke. “You _knew_ and you didn’t _say anything_ …”

“I promised him I wouldn’t,” Zeke said quietly.

“And you promised Caleb you wouldn’t change it!”

Zeke flinched. “I know. I’m sorry. I just… Spear had a point.”

 _Had_.

Alec wasn’t the only one who flinched when he heard it.

“And what point was that?” Nixa asked.

“That’s between me and him,” Zeke told her quietly. “Respect his wishes, please.”

“What am I supposed to say to Fix, huh?”

Alec looked away from the two of them, then, unable to think about it. Fix was going to wake up to the shock of his life. Alec himself was still in shock but Fix went into this thinking Spear was going to come out of it, while Alec was under the impression he’d be leaving alone.

As much as he empathized with Fix, he was selfishly grateful his hand was resting atop Caleb’s heart. The rhythmic beating calmed him somewhat.

“How do I tell him…” Nixa broke off, releasing a shaky breath. “How do I _face_ him…”

“You did nothing wrong,” Zeke told her. “It wasn’t your fault. Spear made his choice, and you two are going to have to respect that.”

“I respect it,” Nixa told him. “He’s… He _was_ … He was always sacrificing himself like that, so… so I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming, but… _Fix_ …”

And then tears were rolling down her cheeks and quiet sobs wracked her body.

Alec moved toward her, pulling her into a hug even though a part of him wanted to stay by Caleb, but Nixa was… a _friend_. She was a friend, too, and she was hurting. She had no idea her friend was going to die like this.

“I’m sorry,” she babbled. “I’m sorry, I… I don’t mean to… but I’m so _scared_. So scared I’m gonna lose them _both_ …”

Alec tightened his hold on her, not saying a word, letting her cry into his shoulder. Silence surrounded them save for her quiet sobs, until Zeke finally broke it.

“Fix will get better,” he said.

“But Spear’s _gone_ ,” Nixa choked, “and that’s going to _kill_ him…”

“Fix is strong.”

“Physically,” Nixa agreed, burying her face in Alec’s wet shoulder. “But Spear… They were… so _reliant_ on each other, and now… _Oh, God_ …”

Alec closed his eyes, holding onto her as her body shook more harshly, and her cries grew louder.

 

Alec dozed off despite his best efforts, too emotionally spent to stay awake, but he woke when a familiar groan sounded next to him. Quickly he sat up and looked over at Caleb, who rolled over, curling in on himself, breaths harsh and shaky.

“ _Caleb_ ,” he choked, “you’re _awake_.”

Awake, alive, like Alec feared he never would be again.

“Can’t breathe,” Caleb choked back. “What happened?”

“You have a few broken ribs,” Alec said, sliding closer to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He wasn’t hot to the touch, which he took as a good sign. “You’re going to be sore for a while, but… _fuck_ … you’re _alive,_ Cal.”

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Everything’s all fuzzy…”

Alec took in a breath. “You were bitten,” he said quietly. “By a zephro.”

Caleb was quiet for a moment, before he released a heavy sigh and then groaned because of it. “Spear,” he murmured. “He’s…”

“Yeah,” Alec said softly. “I’m sorry…”

He honestly didn’t know what to say. Nothing sounded appropriate. If he said he was grateful, that would be rude. If he said he was sorry, that was a lie. Well, he was sorry Spear had to die but he wasn’t sorry Caleb was alive.

“How long have I been out?”

“A while,” Alec said. “A day.”

He looked around them, then, and found Zeke sitting over by Fix, watching them silently. Nixa was asleep at Fix’s side.

Alec tightened his grip on Caleb’s shoulder. Finally the blonde rolled onto his back to look up at Alec, wincing as he moved due to his ribs. For the first time since this mess began he looked into those green eyes and smiled.

“I love you,” he said quietly.

Caleb smiled and then winced. “Why does my mouth hurt? Did I hit it?”

“No, I… I did that.”

“…Did you punch me again?”

“No,” Alec said, shaking his head. “I… I had to breathe for you. You… stopped breathing. For an hour.”

“An hour?” Caleb repeated, eyes widening. “And I’m still alive?”

“Yes,” Alec said.

_Thank God._

“And my ribs…?”

“CPR.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. _Oh_.”

Silence wrapped around them. And then there were hurried footsteps and Alec startled as Nixa threw herself at Caleb and wrapped her arms around him.

“You’re awake,” she said quietly.

“Yeah,” Caleb gasped. “But very sore, could you…?”

“Sorry,” she said, pulling away from him. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t… _Spear_ …”

“I know,” Caleb murmured, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry. If I knew what he was planning…”

“It’s not your fault,” Nixa said. “He… He wanted it this way…”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

_Doesn’t make it wrong, either._

It was Spear’s choice. Only Zeke knew about it. There was nothing anyone could have done to make the outcome end differently.

“I’m happy you’re okay,” Nixa said. “We… We can’t lose anyone else.”

“How’s Fix?” Caleb asked.

“He’s not awake yet… and I don’t know… How am I supposed to tell him?”

“Just tell him,” Caleb told her. “Just… come out and say it.”

“I’d wait a bit before you did,” Zeke said, joining them, leaving Koda over by Fix. “He’s going to be weak for a while. So just… don’t tell him at first. Let him get better. Then tell him.”

“But… But he’s going to know as soon as he sees Caleb,” Alec said.

“So we don’t let him see Caleb.”

“I don’t know how to turn invisible,” Caleb pointed out.

“We’ll say you three haven’t come back yet,” Zeke said. “You and Alec can… stay away from camp. We’ll see you regularly until he’s better, and then… then you can tell him. I don’t want him having a relapse because…”

“We shouldn’t lie to him,” Alec murmured.

If they did what Zeke was saying, Fix would be hopeful Spear would return, and the waiting hurt just as much as the truth. And then when they _did_ tell him, he’d be completely crushed and probably feel betrayed because they let him think things might be okay…

Alec knew he’d feel that way if their roles were switched.

“We should just… tell him,” he continued.

_He’ll hate it but at least we’re not lying to him and giving him false hope._

“We’ll see how it goes,” Zeke said. “If need be, I can sedate him.”

 

Zeke preemptively sedated Fix, keeping him unconscious while his injuries healed. He’d need to be able to walk if they were going to leave here, as the wagon had been directly within the blast radius and was gone. Alec wished he’d brought it back with him and Caleb now more than ever, because the longer they stayed here, the more in danger they were. They were out in the open.

It was true that any zephroes in the immediate area should have been dying already, but that didn’t mean there still wasn’t time to attack. There might have also been neutrohales in the area, and there wasn’t enough blood and herbs left over to make a treatment for them as well, only the zephroes. But that was okay, because it would be easier to deal with only one mutation instead of two, and neutrohales were seldom seen.

Things could actually go right for once. The feeling was so foreign Alec almost didn’t recognize it.

Five days after the explosion and Spear’s sacrifice, Fix finally woke up.


	63. Chapter Sixty-Three: One Story Ends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this story. If you are reading this, I'd like to thank you for reading the story in its entirety. I know there's a lot of mistakes, particularly with the science of it, but it will be fixed in later drafts. I even went out and got books to study up on the herbs and the science and everything. 
> 
> There's a companion story entitled 'Ramble On', which focuses on Spear and Fix instead of Alec and Caleb. Of course if you read this story, you know how that one will end, but I hope that doesn't stop you from reading it anyway.

Chapter Sixty-Three: One Story Ends…

 

“No.”

Alec swallowed because no one had even said anything to Fix yet, and already he was shaking his head, staring at them. Caleb was out of the area, with Koda, while they talked things over with Fix. Fix woke nearly ten minutes ago and finally cleared his mind enough to ask when Spear was getting back.

Something must have shown on their faces, because instantly he was shaking his head and saying ‘no’.

“Fix…” Nixa breathed shakily.

“ _No_.”

“Fix, I’m _sorry_ …”

“ _No_!” Fix scrambled to his feet, tearing away from Nixa and her attempts to keep him on the ground. He was still healing, after all, though much better than he was before. “What… _What happened?_ Where… _No_.”

“Fix, please,” Nixa said, stepping toward him. He took a step away, tangling his fingers in his hair, tugging at the strands, expression contorted and twisted and Alec sympathized.

Sympathized so much, because that could have been _him_. _Was going_ to be him. But it wasn’t.

Fix’s gaze landed on Alec, those eyes dark and desperate, searching for a lifeline Alec couldn’t give him. “Where is he?” he breathed, stepping toward Alec. Alec struggled not to move away, despite how much he wished he wasn’t part of this conversation.

“He…”

“Fix,” Nixa said. “ _Please_.”

“ _No_ ,” Fix snapped, rounding on her, growling. “He’s… _No_. He’s _not_. He _can’t_ …”

Alec shifted uneasily, especially when that desperate gaze snapped back toward him.

“She’s lying,” Fix said. “Tell me she’s… _Where is he_.”

“She’s not lying,” Alec forced himself to say. “Spear… He didn’t… He didn’t make it out.”

“Didn’t make…?”

Alec watched, almost in slow motion, as Fix’s legs gave out and he collapsed to his knees, shoulders drooping in defeat, breaths shaky and clipped. Nixa came up behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder but he shook her off.

“How…?”

And Alec didn’t know what to _say_. How could he just come out and tell him Spear lied to him the whole time, lied to everyone, and set off the treatment himself? That would kill him at the moment, but he couldn’t lie to him either. He’d know the truth as soon as he saw Caleb. Nixa had tears gleaming in her eyes but Alec applauded her strength at the moment.

He wished he’d gone with Caleb, but Nixa didn’t want to be alone. Zeke would be back any time. They hadn’t expected Fix to wake up as soon as Zeke left to work out his leg a little. But Nixa hadn’t wanted to be alone for any length of time because she would think about it, and then Fix woke up and it was just a big mess.

Guilt was foremost in Alec’s mind, but he was also glad he wasn’t in Fix’s place. This made him feel even worse because he was such a horrible human being for thinking that way.

Alec wasn’t aware he’d been slowly inching away from the scene until he was halfway out of the clearing. Nixa caught his eye, then, tears gleaming in them, and nodded at him, telling him it was okay to leave. Then she smiled, and Alec knew he should leave. He was intruding at the moment. She needed to grieve with Fix in her own way, and Alec barely knew the guy. He knew Spear better than Fix because Fix was always so closed off and was rarely seen without Spear.

So Alec took in a breath and turned on his heel, walking away from the scene. He felt ashamed to do so, to leave Nixa there with this, to abandon both her and Fix in their time of need… but he just couldn’t do it.

Because that could have been him. That could have been Nixa and Fix trying to comfort _him_ after Caleb’s death. And he couldn’t. Just… no.

So he fled.

 

“Alec?”

Alec swallowed and looked up, unaware he’d even hurried toward the blonde, pulling Caleb into a crushing embrace. Now he took in a breath and repositioned his face against Caleb’s shoulder. “Sorry,” he breathed. “Sorry, just… for a minute…”

Caleb’s arms wound around him slowly, Koda sitting patiently at his feet. “Babe? Is everything okay?”

“Fix woke up,” Alec said quietly.

Caleb stiffened somewhat. “Oh. Oh, okay. Shit. How… How is he?”

“I don’t know. I… I had to get out of there… but I don’t think… he’s taking it very well.”

And he couldn’t blame him because if their positions were reversed, he’d still be like Fix. Even though he would have known Caleb’s death was coming. But Fix… He had no idea. No idea this was coming, this was going to happen. He thought he’d walk out of here with Spear next to him while Alec came under the impression he’d be leaving alone, if at all.

And it wasn’t fair, and Alec wanted to thank Spear as much as he wanted to strangle him. He hated him for doing this to everyone, for keeping it a secret and then… making it so _sudden_. They were all still sort of reeling after everything, and Fix had to wake to _this_ , and Alec hated Spear for doing this to the man. What kind of person did that to the person they loved?

And yet… he could understand it, and not just because he was grateful.

People would try to stop him if they knew. Caleb might even try doing what Spear did, if their roles were reversed and Spear was supposed to die, and…

“Babe, you’re hurting me.”

Alec realized his hold on the blonde had unintentionally tightened, but he couldn’t help it. He did loosen his hold a little, though, because hurting Caleb was the last thing he wanted. “Sorry. I just…”

“It’s okay,” Caleb said. “I understand. It sucks.”

Alec’s laugh was anything but happy. “Understatement of the year, Caleb.”

Finally he felt stable enough to pull away, and at least hold the blonde at arm’s length. Caleb’s own arms dropped to his sides as those green eyes watched him.

“Are you okay?”

Alec nodded. “Yeah, I’m… I’m okay. You?”

Spear and Caleb were close, after all. And this was already hurting Fix, and that was going to be hard enough to deal with when they went back and he saw that Caleb was alive. If Nixa hadn’t told him what really happened by then…

Then it would come as a shock and that knot in Alec’s stomach tightened just thinking about it. Fix might blame Caleb, might take his anger out on him, and… No. He wouldn’t let that happen. Caleb had no idea Spear was planning this and Alec knew that if Caleb had known, he wouldn’t have let Spear do it. There was no way Caleb could be blamed for this.

If anything, _he_ should be blamed. He was the one who all but begged Spear to do something, to make sure Caleb didn’t die, and then he got so mad at him, hated him for accepting the remedy while Caleb…

But now he knew Caleb actually got the remedy. It was what really made him sick. And it explained the guilt he found in Zeke afterward. Not because he did that to Caleb, but because he had to lie about it, and because he gave it to Caleb and did as Spear asked even after he promised Caleb he wouldn’t change anything.

It was all one big, giant mess and he had no idea how they were going to clear things up, especially with Fix.

The scent of the blonde so close, the feel of his warmth, calmed Alec. He breathed it in and relaxing minutely.

“I love you,” he breathed quietly, face buried in Caleb’s shoulder, hiding from the world, from Fix’s pain and Spear’s sacrifice.

“Babe.” Hands pushed lightly at his stomach, pushing him away. “Look at me.”

Alec shifted away, Caleb’s hands lifting to clutch at his shoulders.

“I said look at me,” Caleb said quietly.

Alec sighed and dragged his eyes up to the blonde’s face. Warm green eyes looked back at him, and he relaxed a little more.

“It’s okay,” Caleb told him, smiling faintly. “It’s okay.”

Alec released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“And I love you, too, babe.”

 

They didn’t go back to the clearing until nightfall. They spent the day walking, for the most part. They found a small river, sat along its edge and watched the ripples and waves in silence. Finally they got up and walked some more, and then the sun went down and they decided they needed to be getting back, no matter what happened when they did.

Neither of them wanted to face Fix, but they were going to have to at some point or another. They couldn’t hide from him, or from what Spear did.

They entered the clearing to find Fix asleep on the ground, surprisingly. The semi-guilty expression on Zeke’s face left Alec certain the slumber wasn’t the brunette’s idea, but rather Zeke slipping him something.

“He wouldn’t calm down,” Zeke said. “He was going to hurt himself. He’s still healing.”

Alec nodded slowly, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of Fix’s chest. In sleep he looked peaceful, but he knew all of that would change once he woke up.

Nixa was also asleep next to Fix, and Alec glanced back at Zeke.

Zeke sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. “She needs the rest,” he said.

“No one’s blaming you,” Caleb said. “You… Yeah. They need the rest.”

“How are you feeling?” Zeke asked, watching the blonde.

Caleb shrugged. “I’m okay, I guess. Sore as hell.”

Alec winced, having forgotten about that. “That walk must have been hell.”

“Not as bad as when you hugged me,” Caleb said, tossing him a faint smile. “Besides… it was nice to get away for a while.”

Alec nodded, silently agreeing with him.

Zeke patted the ground next to him. “Sit,” he said.

The two wandered toward him and sat, Caleb next to him and Alec on the blonde’s other side. The flickering campfire cast odd red shadows across the sleeping forms of Fix and Nixa.

“I haven’t seen any zephroes since the explosion,” Zeke said quietly.

Alec frowned, realizing he was right. “Neither have I. Do you think…?”

“I think that means it worked in the very immediate area,” Zeke said, sighing. “It will take longer for it spread elsewhere. Days. Months. Years. Who knows.”

At least the treatment was out there, and there was finally hope. They’d still have to deal with the neutrohales, but at least now they only had to worry about one faction of mutations.

_And Caleb’s still here._

Caleb was still alive. Even if the treatment didn’t work, Alec would be just fine as long as Caleb was okay. He knew it sounded ridiculous, because not that long ago he hadn’t wanted anything to do with anyone else, and now he couldn’t imagine his life without the blonde in it.

Funny how things changed.

Funny how he never even noticed it happening, not until Caleb was already too close.

“Sleep, babe,” Caleb said, resting a hand on his shoulder. The touch was simple, a light weight on his skin, but he leaned into that contact because it had been a rough week. A very, very rough week and it wasn’t over yet.

The treatment was dispersed, but they still needed to get out of here. Then again, Yellowstone National Park was probably the safest place there was right now.

Caleb must have noticed his expression and recognized it for what it was, because the hand on his shoulder tightened marginally. “It’s safe here,” Caleb said. “Safest since M-Day.”

“That is very true,” Zeke commented, causing them to look his way. “We could probably get a large group to settle here, start rebuilding.”

“We need to see Spear’s community first,” Caleb said quietly, causing Alec to glance at him, noticing the way the blonde’s eyes focused solely on the ground. “Tell them what happened. Make sure they’re okay. Take Fix and Nixa back.”

“Or,” Zeke said slowly, “we could bring them here.”

 

Bringing an entire community all this way would not be an easy task. The larger the group, the slower they traveled, and it was still dangerous out there, even with the treatment. The treatment only worked on the zephroes, not the neutrohales. It would take a while for it to even begin to take effect. It was still dangerous out there, especially for a large group traveling slowly, with kids and sick people and…

It would just be hard.

But worth it, in the end, Alec was sure. They could start fresh here, where it was safe. A new beginning.

Alec smiled.

_A new beginning._

He really liked the sound of that.

It wouldn’t be easy. It wouldn’t be quick. But it was finally possible.

Healing was a long, and sometimes painful, process. But worth it, in the end.

Caleb tossed him a glance. “What are you smiling at?”

“Nothing,” Alec breathed, shaking his head, but he couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Just happy it’s over.”

Caleb stepped a little closer. Warmth surrounded him as arms encircled him. “Yeah,” Caleb murmured, mouth pressing lightly against his own, “it is.”

Nearly a decade after M-Day, it was over. A treatment had been dispersed. It would take for it to work properly, and it probably wouldn’t happen in their lifetime, but finally there was hope. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just as the end of the world was a slow burn, sneaking in unnoticed until it was too late, the healing of it was the same.

A slow burn of hope.

And it was worth it.

 


End file.
